Who is a hikikomori?

[aki/kaze/shi]

I don't think so. I'm just an introvert. Or more likely, a misanthrope.
I just don't like socializing. And am scared of men, well, some. Unless I know you well enough or trust.

[Vexx]

Originally Posted by Kenta

It might be interesting to have a Hikikomori Cafe or something, for us to hang out and discuss our secret agendas...

Actually, that might work as long as every table had a computer for each seat so people could irc/forum chat instead of actually making eye contact.

[innominate]

Originally Posted by Vexx

Actually, that might work as long as every table had a computer for each seat so people could irc/forum chat instead of actually making eye contact.

People actually do that nowadays where I come from and I see it sometimes when I go out. Not sure if it has to do with the places I frequent though- again, I don't go out often. ><

[Risaa]

Actually, hahaha, one of my last apartment-mates lived just on the other side of the living room from me and our main form of communication was AIM. He was very socially awkward and just preferred it that way. (Even when I would talk to him IRL, I called him by his AIM screen name... it just became habit.)

Whenever he didn't reply, though, I would burst in his room just to mess with him a bit. (It was awesome when he *actually* left his room and I snuck in and hid in his closet... took years off of his life, that. )

[Itachi-evil]

Lol that sounds like Yamazaki and Satou

[Kecheke]

Well first of I have been unemployeed for about 1 year now, and mostly I just sit at my computer day out and day in. I still live at my parents house because even if I got a job I wouldnt afford to move out, since I got no work experience nearly noone wants a guy like me working for them.

So its hard finding a reasonably acceptable job thats why I nearly gave up on finding one and started to find a goal which is longer away but its still a goal with a future. So this month I am gonna start studying again, which feels good that I am gonna start some where again. A new start.

In my old school where I went for 3 years I had only 1 close friend in my class. Even though I could talk to many but that took long, in my 3rd year was it that I felt that I had a place in my class. Some people couldnt remember my real name after even after3 years. Well that was the most irritating thing when I went to school, it was also because my selfconfidence took a rush down because of something that happened but it wasnt school related. But I do not wish to speak what it was.

Otherwise on the days I usually either am at the gym working out or at home ifront of the computer. I got friends, well I dont socialize or talk every day to them but I usually on Fridays or Saturdays then I usually socialize with them. Like going to a party or just having a movie night.


So I dont know if I would call myself a hikki but no doubt that I need a fresh start in life. Maybe I would call myself lazy more than a hikki but I guess I am a little of both. A little strange mix. Maybe I am a hikki but I am denying it, dont wanna face the truth.

[Itachi-evil]

Well imo you are not a hikki.

A Hikki is someone who almost doesn't leave his house or room at all.......


Well whatever..........

Is there something like a Hikkikomori-forum or a chat with almost only hikkis xD?

[Vexx]

Originally Posted by Risaa

Actually, hahaha, one of my last apartment-mates lived just on the other side of the living room from me and our main form of communication was AIM. He was very socially awkward and just preferred it that way. (Even when I would talk to him IRL, I called him by his AIM screen name... it just became habit.)

Whenever he didn't reply, though, I would burst in his room just to mess with him a bit. (It was awesome when he *actually* left his room and I snuck in and hid in his closet... took years off of his life, that. )

My older son and wll play World of Warcraft (or other) in the late evening after my wife crashes for the night sometimes. We'll wear headphones or keep the speakers low ... we'll usually chat-type to each other because our desks are about 15 feet from each other in our office/gamingpit. That's a bit quirky

I will say I was painfully shy in my mid-teens and had real trouble talking to people (especially femmes). I did get over it, so I'll say it *can* be done.

[Honda Boy Techy]

Well, I was an anti-social bastard through elementary and middle school but that's because the way most people treated me. i was real little and I ended being a bit of a nerd, both things to be made fun of about. 2 things changed this. When I was in middle school, the Columbine incident happened. Well people thought "Oh crap, better leave him alone or he will go psycho on us". Ok I wasn't psychotic or anything, just kinda secluded with a few nerd friends and one friend who was friends with practically everyone and kinda stood up for me (he was really tall too). Well the summer between 8th grade and my Freshman year of high school, growth spurt FINALLY. I ended being bigger than a lot of people. I wasn't tall more like average but still, i got bigger. I was still kinda secluded. Finally about junior year, i finally found my "home" amongst other kids. I was in the the little weirdo offbeat group. We were basically the friendliest group there was, and were closely related to the goths (who oddly enough too were insanely friendly people). Many of us wore black but not to the extremes. i generally wore blue jeans and novelty T-Shirts. Many of us were car fans but not all of us. We were each really unique following our own interests instead of following crowds so we were all different but a tight group of friends.

Now entering college but still living in my hometown, my friend list narrowed some but I still have a regular bunch I hang with. I spend a lot of time at home but I have a job, go to school, and I have friends that i talk to on the phone every so often and hang with every now and then. I don't avoid social interaction but I love "me time". I've been workin at the same place for 2 years and my manager and I talk a lot and hang out outside of work occasionally. Now I'm not the most social person on the planet but I do believe I have a healthy social life. I am probably the opposite of a hikikomori. I used to be one when i was younger (only social interaction I got was playing online games like battlefield and Call of Duty) but no longer is that the case.

[Risaa]

Originally Posted by Vexx

I will say I was painfully shy in my mid-teens and had real trouble talking to people (especially femmes). I did get over it, so I'll say it *can* be done.

I'm still in the process of getting over my own shyness, but I'm a whole lot better than I was even four years ago. As I told AVPlaya last night, I know people often think I'm being snooty or rude when I don't say anything to them, but it's really because I'm shy and get embarrassed. Muuuu!

I have more trouble talking to girls my age than anyone else, I think because I don't really fit in with other girls (I'd rather buy an RPG than a pair of shoes, for example..). However, I'm *far* from hikikomori-status.

Haha, I'm pretty comfortable around geeky-types though, come to think about it. Almost all my friends are geeks!

[Aoie_Emesai]

Originally Posted by Asai

I'd be considered one, by most standards. Though I don't live with my parents, and own several houses. Though I made the money for those investments in a job that involved very little interaction with others; I've had several jobs over the years, and all of them involved no or close to nil contact with people. I was lucky in the regard that I was able to get myself financially secure while in environments that were suitable for me, thus can't really be lumped in the 'living in parents basement' category. (not that I've ever seen a house in this country with a basement.)

I grew up with very little interaction with others. Had no friends through almost twenty years of schooling, had no real co-workers in any of my jobs and now I'm 'retired' I have no contact with anybody offline, save my mother visiting occasionally, and my brother once a blue moon.

Why? Because I dislike people. It's pretty much that simple. It's a conscious choice I made, and a lifestyle I maintain. How do I deal with it? Well. What's to deal with. It's easier -not- dealing with people. I'm quite happy being a 'crazy cat lady' (though I've always had all sorts of animals, not just cats... cats are just the best )

Though, I'm a bit different in that I have always, and still do take my dog(s) for walks daily (well. Not the past two months since I have a broken leg.) and get at least a bit of sunlight. I also don't freeze up when faced with others. I'm certainly no social butterfly, but I can handle people if forced to. But, the world these days has made that a lot easier. I order almost everything online, so aside from my regular day-to-day goods, I don't even need to deal with salespeople or anything.

If it weren't for my dogs, and having to go shopping every once in a while, I could very easily go months without leaving the house. Don't see the problem. ^^

For people who're lucky enough to be reliant on others, then, power to 'em. If their parents are okay with supporting them forever, then no worries. As long as they have assets that will continue to support them after they die, of course. Gotta plan ahead. S'why I invested in real estate. Don't have to worry about money ever again. ^^ Only thing that is of concern with hikkies, I think.

I almost hate to say it but that's not a really fulfilling live. Human interaction is one of the central theme of human kind and their existence. But i suppose your past makes you what you are today.

[Ziv]

I think a lot of people are mistaking introversion for hikikomoriness. It's one thing to prefer quiet activities and focused social contact rather than going to parties and being around lots of people. It's another thing to completely isolate yourself from reality.

Originally Posted by Asai

A hikikomori community seems a bit of an oxymoron. >.>

I thought that 2channel was a major hikikomori community,

[Asai]

Originally Posted by Aoie_Emesai

I almost hate to say it but that's not a really fulfilling live. Human interaction is one of the central theme of human kind and their existence. But i suppose your past makes you what you are today.

I'm quite content with my life. I don't need to obey the social norms to happily get by.

Originally Posted by Ziv

I think a lot of people are mistaking introversion for hikikomoriness. It's one thing to prefer quiet activities and focused social contact rather than going to parties and being around lots of people. It's another thing to completely isolate yourself from reality.

Reality is what you make it. ^^ As I said before, as long as people can survive, who cares what lifestyle they live?

I thought that 2channel was a major hikikomori community,

Not really? I'm sure there are hikkies posting there, but it has quite a large and diverse user-base, really.

[Ziv]

Originally Posted by Asai

Reality is what you make it. ^^ As I said before, as long as people can survive, who cares what lifestyle they live?

In the case of hikikomori's the people supporting them probably care, and wikipedia seems to imply that hikikomoriness is caused by some kind of social anxiety rather than just a personal preference. In any case, I mentioned it more to clarify the definition of a hikikomori than anything else.

[Sides]

Agree, but as far as i understand hikikomori is an extrem from of social anxiety, and not caused by it.
Problem is, people who claim that they are introversial persons, might just be trying to repress the fact that it is fear, which drives them away from others. Of course it is also true the other way around. So the line between introversial and people with social phobia is pretty slim.
I think one thing that distinguish them is, that some people can develope depression, because of the phobia.

[Itachi-evil]

Yupeee......another pathethic day....

[Theowne]

I dunno, I think that every time you think to yourself that you are afraid of social interaction and living a normal life, just think that there are plenty of people who don't have that same opportunity for a serious reason (like a med condition), while you are giving up that opportunity for petty reasons.

If we're just talking about social lives here I can chime in. Of course, I'm not a hikkikomori, but I've kind of messed up my social life while in school. See I started high school late a few months, and I didn't have any friends, so I tried to act like everyone else so I'd be accepted, and then in the later years of school I realized that was pointless and then just acted like myself from then on, which made me far happier. Problem is, by that time everyone had already made their friendships and I couldn't really "infiltrate" another bunch of friends and I didn't want to go back to my old friends either. So I was just stuck in the middle, having a bunch of friends but no close friends. Someone said it right that your decisions will come back to haunt you. So here I am, summertime, with not much of a social life.

My brother probably fits the bill of "hikikomori" a little more closely. But then, he has a medical condition which limits the amount of time he even gets to spend outside. So he takes a lot of university courses online at home and only goes out for class a few times in a week. So think again how lucky some of you are that you guys are reclusive just because of being shy.....take a class or something..

[Itachi-evil]

Well easy saying.......the execution is something else...

[Shirozoku]

I wouldn't say i am a hikiko-whateveryoucalledit, I hang out with my friends, go to school etc..
So...no

[Zaris]

I only have desires to be social when the situation calls for it. At home, I'm typically by myself, so I usually shun from making phone calls and the like. But when I'm in a public space - work, gym, in the streets - I like making idle banter. It's just my way of livening up my day and learning more about others.

Ironic, it's less nerve-wrecking to converse with someone face to face than through the phone for me. Isn't that odd?

Based on that, no I'm not a hikikomori. I'm pretty sure I used to be, but I had always wanted to rid myself of it since god knows when.