AnimeSuki Forums

Kirito · 2012-05-30, 13:00

I have an online friend who's always busy and I say hey and send him things. But, he never gets back to me, and I see him talking to other people normally like it's nothing. I send him emails and he always "claims" that he never receives it...I also write on his wall, but he never responds and it seems like he's ignoring or doesn't think of me as a friend anymore, and just talks and says hello out of mere cheap sympathy, and it upsets me.

I just sit there waiting for a response and he never does. He sent me an email after I emailed and talked to him weeks prior but I've been ignoring him completely because I feel like he thinks I'm annoying and a bother. He writes fan-fiction and I'm his number one fan, and I totally enjoy his work.

He told me that I'm one of his "best friends" in a mail he sent a couple of days ago, but I'm having a hard time believing it because if he were my friend he can at least say hi or pop a quick message to see how we're both doing. What should I do?

Kyuu · 2012-05-30, 13:12

Cut the bastard off. You're probably being used.

And what the hell? Based on your writing, this sounds more like a "relationship". Quit being so needy.

Cold~as~Ice · 2012-05-30, 13:16

just stick to being his fan not his friend. don't waste your time writing to him you got better things to do.online friends can never compare to real friends you've met in person

Paranoid Android · 2012-05-30, 13:24

http://forums.animesuki.com/showthre...=109293&page=8
For future ref.

I personally think he carelessly throws around the label of 'best friends' and that you are at most an online friend. I treat mostly everyone that same way.

Spoiler for Evening schedule:

I don't know your situation. I'm just sharing my reasons for how I am. I get a lot of people complaining that I'm ignoring them. I simply don't have interest in taking time to chatting with them in a pointless direction.

Things that would get me talking would be questions, open debates, life-problems, something short and funny. My -best friend- (same gender as me) sometimes have instant messages that are 1-2 days apart. I'd be like "Waah I got in a fight with the architect again >: (" and he'd respond 2 days later like "what happened lol? Btw, I just watched chernobyl diaries, it was pretty lame" and I'd respond another day later xD

Best friends' (or any notable close friendship) should never be this one sided confusion. My friend and I talk like that because is consensual that we both afk/busy for ridiculous long periods and leave at least one computer on 24/7 to 'catch' those messages..

MUAHAHAHAHAHA · 2012-05-30, 14:11

There must be a balance in friendship, or else it will never work out. It seems like he is taking you for granted, because well, you might seem "too needy" to him-sending things, messages...He may think "Well, this is one friend that I do not have the need to always communicate with him, I am always in his thoughts anyway......".

Avoid sending any messages for now, and see if he gets back to you. So far, it seems like he is in the same position as you before-chasing after you and getting ignored. That to me is a pretty good way to let him know you felt in the past.

Dr. Casey · 2012-05-30, 16:07

You should become friends with him again, I'm sure that he's just busy and still likes you a lot.

>_>

Quote:

just stick to being his fan not his friend. don't waste your time writing to him you got better things to do.online friends can never compare to real friends you've met in person

This is completely, utterly, 100% wrong btw

word sux · 2012-05-30, 16:22

sounds like your a bit obsessive and that might be driving them away.

Dr. Casey · 2012-05-30, 16:26

Deikan's a yandere? That's kind of hot

MUAHAHAHAHAHA · 2012-05-30, 16:33

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. Casey

Deikan's a yandere? That's kind of hot

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. Casey

Quote:

(to begin with, I have never liked her. She is like a wild cat that is impossible to be tamed).

Sounds sexy.

Haha, you like yanderes, don't you?

Hiroi Sekai · 2012-05-30, 16:56

Lay it all on the line. Tell him that you feel like you're being ignored and are thinking of cutting him off because it's just a waste of time overall.

If he obviously opposes that statement and tries to keep you from leaving, then you might be able to work something out. If he doesn't really jump out of his seat to do something, then it's best to go through with it.

Kyuu · 2012-05-30, 17:10

No offense. There's plenty of "gay" going on. 'cause seriously. Friends between dudes online shouldn't go in this direction -- unless you actually want to.

Quote:

Originally Posted by papermario13689

Lay it all on the line. Tell him that you feel like you're being ignored and are thinking of cutting him off because it's just a waste of time overall.

Recopied for reiteration. This is what needs to be done.

Hiroi Sekai · 2012-05-30, 17:48

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kyuu

No offense. There's plenty of "gay" going on. 'cause seriously. Friends between dudes online shouldn't go in this direction -- unless you actually want to.

Hey, go easy. It's just like if you have an idol who happens to be a guy; you show great liking for them, but it's not always like you want to have their babies.

My big concern is that he might be using this to his advantage, so I want to make sure that's the path that is avoided in the end.

mangamuscle · 2012-05-30, 17:53

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deikan

What should I do?

Get a piece of his clothing and a Voodoo doll and ... err

Forgive and forget, people change, in the real world friendships are not forever, be grateful of the good times and do not attempt to cling to a friendship that might now exist only in your mind.

MUAHAHAHAHAHA · 2012-05-30, 17:59

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kyuu

No offense. There's plenty of "gay" going on. 'cause seriously. Friends between dudes online shouldn't go in this direction -- unless you actually want to..

Not really. It could be that Deikan is happy to have found someone on the same "wavelength" as him, or he's real loyal and sentimental when it comes to friendship. Like Sherlock Holmes and Dr.Watson. Or Batman and Robin.

Anyways, from my own experience, it's difficult to a great extent to maintain online friendships. I knew a couple of buddies who slowly drifted away from my life. It's sad, but it happens.

ChainLegacy · 2012-05-30, 18:11

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deikan

I have an online friend who's always busy and I say hey and send him things. But, he never gets back to me, and I see him talking to other people normally like it's nothing. I send him emails and he always "claims" that he never receives it...I also write on his wall, but he never responds and it seems like he's ignoring or doesn't think of me as a friend anymore, and just talks and says hello out of mere cheap sympathy, and it upsets me.

I just sit there waiting for a response and he never does. He sent me an email after I emailed and talked to him weeks prior but I've been ignoring him completely because I feel like he thinks I'm annoying and a bother. He writes fan-fiction and I'm his number one fan, and I totally enjoy his work.

He told me that I'm one of his "best friends" in a mail he sent a couple of days ago, but I'm having a hard time believing it because if he were my friend he can at least say hi or pop a quick message to see how we're both doing. What should I do?

Just say what you said here. See what his explanation is, and if you don't buy it, you gotta just move on. It can be unpleasant to be so frank with people you consider a friend, but if you care enough to seek advice on the issue, you might as well just put the cards on the table and see what he's thinking.

Cold~as~Ice · 2012-05-30, 18:25

I bet you they already kissed and made up and are just laughing about it

***relentlessflame*** · 2012-05-30, 20:12

I'm going to lock this thread because I don't really think we should use this forum as a sort of group therapy session, or to work out inter-personal issues/disputes.

In general terms, though, I would just say to remember that everyone has their circumstances that you can't really understand, and no matter how much you feel a situation is about you, it may not actually be about you at all. Sometimes the best thing to do is just to send an encouraging note, and say you'll be available to talk when they're ready/able, and then just give them time and space. Keep moving forward with the things you need to do. The more you fret about the situation, the more suspicious you become, and that makes it even harder to work things out.

Anyway, that's all for now...

2012-05-30, 13:00	Link #1
Kirito Enjoying Snack Time! Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Where It's Legal to Marry Clara and Alice Age: 35	I'm having problems with a friend, what should I do? I have an online friend who's always busy and I say hey and send him things. But, he never gets back to me, and I see him talking to other people normally like it's nothing. I send him emails and he always "claims" that he never receives it...I also write on his wall, but he never responds and it seems like he's ignoring or doesn't think of me as a friend anymore, and just talks and says hello out of mere cheap sympathy, and it upsets me. I just sit there waiting for a response and he never does. He sent me an email after I emailed and talked to him weeks prior but I've been ignoring him completely because I feel like he thinks I'm annoying and a bother. He writes fan-fiction and I'm his number one fan, and I totally enjoy his work. He told me that I'm one of his "best friends" in a mail he sent a couple of days ago, but I'm having a hard time believing it because if he were my friend he can at least say hi or pop a quick message to see how we're both doing. What should I do? __________________

2012-05-30, 13:12	Link #2
Kyuu =^^= Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: 42° 10' N (Latitude) 87° 33' W (Longitude) Age: 45	Cut the bastard off. You're probably being used. And what the hell? Based on your writing, this sounds more like a "relationship". Quit being so needy. __________________ Japanese Mahjong Group \| Currently Watching List \| Click on this - I dare you.

2012-05-30, 13:16	Link #3
Cold~as~Ice this is how its done Join Date: Mar 2012	just stick to being his fan not his friend. don't waste your time writing to him you got better things to do.online friends can never compare to real friends you've met in person __________________ Last edited by Cold~as~Ice; 2012-05-30 at 14:10.

2012-05-30, 13:24	Link #4
Paranoid Android Underweight Food Hoarder Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: Kitch-Water and T.O., Canada Age: 32	http://forums.animesuki.com/showthre...=109293&page=8 For future ref. I personally think he carelessly throws around the label of 'best friends' and that you are at most an online friend. I treat mostly everyone that same way. Spoiler for Evening schedule: Log on, non-stop research/school work, EAT, non-stop video games, take shower, come back and look at all my emails, msn msgs, steam msgs, and w/e. I rarely reply to people unless it's a question or jumping the gun to raising a discussion topic. I never reply to "I'm bored...", "Hey! " or "Check this out <link>". Most of my 1 on 1 conversations are in-person, email (business email that is, everything else goes to my spam account that I never go to), and voice chat. I don't know your situation. I'm just sharing my reasons for how I am. I get a lot of people complaining that I'm ignoring them. I simply don't have interest in taking time to chatting with them in a pointless direction. Things that would get me talking would be questions, open debates, life-problems, something short and funny. My -best friend- (same gender as me) sometimes have instant messages that are 1-2 days apart. I'd be like "Waah I got in a fight with the architect again >: (" and he'd respond 2 days later like "what happened lol? Btw, I just watched chernobyl diaries, it was pretty lame" and I'd respond another day later xD Best friends' (or any notable close friendship) should never be this one sided confusion. My friend and I talk like that because is consensual that we both afk/busy for ridiculous long periods and leave at least one computer on 24/7 to 'catch' those messages..

2012-05-30, 14:11	Link #5
MUAHAHAHAHAHA Hail the power of Fujoshi Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: hahahahahahahahaha Age: 35	There must be a balance in friendship, or else it will never work out. It seems like he is taking you for granted, because well, you might seem "too needy" to him-sending things, messages...He may think "Well, this is one friend that I do not have the need to always communicate with him, I am always in his thoughts anyway......". Avoid sending any messages for now, and see if he gets back to you. So far, it seems like he is in the same position as you before-chasing after you and getting ignored. That to me is a pretty good way to let him know you felt in the past. __________________ A politically ignorant person who embraces only hedonism as the main philosophical doctrine. Old stuff but just a reminder that butthurt report form is here to help

2012-05-30, 16:22	Link #7
word sux Member Join Date: Mar 2012	sounds like your a bit obsessive and that might be driving them away. __________________ Signature removed. Please check the forum signature rules before trying to upload another one. If you have questions, feel free to contact a mod through PM.

2012-05-30, 16:26	Link #8
Dr. Casey Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Tennessee Age: 36	Deikan's a yandere? That's kind of hot

2012-05-30, 18:25	Link #16
Cold~as~Ice this is how its done Join Date: Mar 2012	I bet you they already kissed and made up and are just laughing about it __________________

2012-05-30, 20:12	Link #17
*relentlessflame* 　 Administrator Join Date: Dec 2003 Age: 41	I'm going to lock this thread because I don't really think we should use this forum as a sort of group therapy session, or to work out inter-personal issues/disputes. In general terms, though, I would just say to remember that everyone has their circumstances that you can't really understand, and no matter how much you feel a situation is about you, it may not actually be about you at all. Sometimes the best thing to do is just to send an encouraging note, and say you'll be available to talk when they're ready/able, and then just give them time and space. Keep moving forward with the things you need to do. The more you fret about the situation, the more suspicious you become, and that makes it even harder to work things out. Anyway, that's all for now... __________________ [...]