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Eratas123 · 2013-05-15, 05:59

Usually, when one snarks during an apology scene, they get called an asshole for it. In Dark Future, when Saito was asked to explain his behavior, he snarked that they made a mistake in his wearing a mask rather than a hoodie. His twin threatened to beat his face in.

Tempest35 · 2013-05-15, 06:02

Two Orimuras are stronger than one. XD

And wouldn't Ichika know how to bandage her up? ... then again, it's not like he carries a medpak wherever he goes...

So no bandaging her up in her office scene. It can be done as is, but you'll have to allow enough 'cool down time' from when the twins spaz over injuring her and when they are helping bandaging her up. Honestly, I do see Chifuyu blushing slightly with both Madoka and Ichika fussing over her - she knows she better just let them do it than trying to fight them at this point, so she allows it. Or it doesn't have to make her bite her lip, it could be some other kind of injury, like a reverse headbutt to Chifuyu's nose or something...*shrugs*

...but enough 'elapsed' downtime between twin spaz and 2nd apology session can help - it depends on the way its written at this point.

And where is my 'apology accepted' cake/pie eating Chifuyu scene... *jii~*

Eratas123 · 2013-05-15, 06:05

Bandaging is actually a good time to apologize and explain, if you don't mind me saying

In Dark of Zero, I used bandaging twice as a venue when two characters bond over experiences.

Tempest35 · 2013-05-15, 06:11

Well, both Ichika and Madoka can work on bandaging Chifuyu at the same time, causing the elder sister to unwittingly blush at her two younger siblings fussing over her so... d'awww~

"Hey, her face is red."

"Fever?"

"No you idi-"

"*Twin Check~*" Both press their foreheads against Chifuyu's for a temp check.

"...y-you idiots, constantly doing things at your own pace."

"Hee hee."

"Because we love you, 'Oneechan'?"

"...baka..." **Chifuyu looks away, mumbling something incoherently**

Ah, so much cheese, where is the ham to go with this cheese...

EDIT:

Yamada comes into the infirmary, looking for a Band-Aid for a papercut. Sees all three Orimura in the room, with their heads close to each other. 0.0
"O-o-o-Orimura-sensei!?"

"Hey, good tim-"

"I'M SORRY FOR INTERRUPTING!!"

"...eh?"

"Orimura Family Time...even though I also want to join in...the middle..."

**WHAT ARE YOU THINKING NOW, WOMAN!?**

Eratas123 · 2013-05-15, 06:11

Hahahaha

demino_hellsin · 2013-05-15, 06:12

Basically step 4 is dead end and everything after that will be dictated by said snark. If you remove that you remove the whole thing.

Basically adding in snark is a huge mood shift. or at least keep it a soft jibe. Or a lame one. Not something that goes "Oh no you didn't!"

ZeroXSEED · 2013-05-15, 06:13

Basically summed up by tempest, the injury is there so everyone stop being stupid. I'd tone down Ichika's reaction though, too OOC even for ST standard. (Thanks to the guideline draft

)

Though again, the injury doesn't require anything major, just gentle touch with cotton and antiseptic and some mouth examination. Anyway, doesn't this sounds more intimate?

So yes, Chifuyu's badassery is a new meme, that minor injury is not expected, it's all or nothing business.

(Of course, per ST tradition, the 'blood coffee' sheanigans is deconstructed during rescue arc, and both Orimura collapsed as soon as everyone except the medics left)

Tempest35 · 2013-05-15, 06:14

I think a jibe' about 'dishonest older sisters' would suffice in place of the 'snark'. Or a snarky jibe...its tricky...

EDIT:

Mouth examination? Toothbrush session? *eye gleam*

ZeroXSEED · 2013-05-15, 06:17

No

*Flashback to niseimonogatari*

not THAT intimate... maybe

Eratas123 · 2013-05-15, 06:19

Agreed: Not THAT intimate. Besides, if it was reality, wouldn't the person injured bleed out or re-open wounds if they tried anything?

ZeroXSEED · 2013-05-15, 06:23

Okay, (re)writing draft soon!

Tempest35 · 2013-05-15, 06:24

*snickers* just teasing...but nothing to say that Ik-kun and Madoka-chan can't recreated it...

as an Omake or something...XD *starts up the sexaphone*

Hah, Madoka would faint right in the middle...T^T

Madoka: N-no I wouldn't!!! *face is RED*

ZeroXSEED · 2013-05-15, 06:27

That...

Maybe happen back when they're little, whereas Ichika is hotblooded keet and Madoka is extremely shrunken violet

Maybe Houki's nightmare or something

Eratas123 · 2013-05-15, 06:28

In general, I tend to laugh when the heavily bandaged protagonist and whoevers healing them make out or are implied to do the houki pouki. They'd bleed out or tear open the injured person's wounds.

wavehawk · 2013-05-15, 06:30

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eratas123

In general, I tend to laugh when the heavily bandaged protagonist and whoevers healing them make out or are implied to do the houki pouki. They'd bleed out or tear open the injured person's wounds.

Ichika: "Gently. Gently---GENTLLLLYYYY~~~!!!"

Eratas123 · 2013-05-15, 06:33

Trust me, it really wouldn't work. I tried to play it straight in a draft, but I ended up making Saito bleed because his wounds were fresh.

ZeroXSEED · 2013-05-15, 06:34

BWAHAHAHAH

So true, so true.

H-manga is THE worst offender, especially if it's deconstructively parodied (all the realism, but none of the drama)

Tempest35 · 2013-05-15, 06:35

*puts on Marvin Gaye* "I need sexual healing~"

Ichika: "It's not literal!"

Laura: But I want to try it...

Houki: No! It's a very delicate procedure...

Cecilia: Wh-what!? How would you know!?

Houki: I'm part of a shrine, you know...

Charl: So you priestesses really do that sort of thing?

Houki: No! At least, *I* don't...!

Ichika: ... see what you've started...

I confirm nor deny nothing.

~*~

Yamada's little proclamation about the scared 'Orimura Family Time' and the imaginations of young, impressionable perverted highschool girls... Houki can dream of the toothbrush scene after hearing about that...

It would be Ichika's turn that night to be 'taken care of' by his lovely older and twin sisters...

Readers need fan-service too. *thumbs up, nosebleed*

Why am I in such an ero-mood today.... >< ... wait, that's everyday...

Eratas123 · 2013-05-15, 06:38

Then again, to some people, the blood would be a turn-on:/ There's a reason there's a trope called "In love with your weakness".

ZeroXSEED · 2013-05-15, 06:52

So I guess this night/day reserved for the unmentionables huh?

Anyway, the gospel scene is as follow

Quote:

Houki: "Ichika"

Ichika: *Stares*

Houki:

*Get closer but stop midway*

Madoka: "Sheesh" *push Houki*

*CHUUU*

Houki: "NAAANIII?!?!"

Ichika: "Eeeh?"

Madoka: "Now I guess we're even, eh, Houki-chan"

Houki: "You... YOUUUU!!!!"

Madoka: "It's okay, we're comrades right?"

*Cecilia and Lingyin pop*

Lingyin & Cecilia: "Oho, so if it's comrades it should be okay right?"

*LEAP*

Ichika: "IYAAAAH!!"

*Carry both Houki and Madoka on his shoulder*

Lingyin & Cecilia: "HOW DARE YOU TO RUN AWAY, ICHIKA(-SAN)!!"

Ichika: "NOOO!!"

Houki: "Look at what you did, Madoka!"

Madoka:

*kiss Houki*

Houki: "MAAADOKAAAAA..."

Madoka: "Indirect kiss?"

Ichika:

Houki: "GRAAAAAAHHHH!!!!"

(Meanwhile, Charles and Laura making out in the background)

2013-05-15, 05:59	Link #43281
Eratas123 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2011	Usually, when one snarks during an apology scene, they get called an asshole for it. In Dark Future, when Saito was asked to explain his behavior, he snarked that they made a mistake in his wearing a mask rather than a hoodie. His twin threatened to beat his face in. __________________

2013-05-15, 06:02	Link #43282
Tempest35 Awe of She Author Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Orlando	Two Orimuras are stronger than one. XD And wouldn't Ichika know how to bandage her up? ... then again, it's not like he carries a medpak wherever he goes... So no bandaging her up in her office scene. It can be done as is, but you'll have to allow enough 'cool down time' from when the twins spaz over injuring her and when they are helping bandaging her up. Honestly, I do see Chifuyu blushing slightly with both Madoka and Ichika fussing over her - she knows she better just let them do it than trying to fight them at this point, so she allows it. Or it doesn't have to make her bite her lip, it could be some other kind of injury, like a reverse headbutt to Chifuyu's nose or something...shrugs ...but enough 'elapsed' downtime between twin spaz and 2nd apology session can help - it depends on the way its written at this point. And where is my 'apology accepted' cake/pie eating Chifuyu scene... jii~ __________________ "Focus entirely on me, you ordinary soldier."

2013-05-15, 06:05	Link #43283
Eratas123 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2011	Bandaging is actually a good time to apologize and explain, if you don't mind me saying In Dark of Zero, I used bandaging twice as a venue when two characters bond over experiences. __________________

2013-05-15, 06:11	Link #43284
Tempest35 Awe of She Author Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Orlando	Well, both Ichika and Madoka can work on bandaging Chifuyu at the same time, causing the elder sister to unwittingly blush at her two younger siblings fussing over her so... d'awww~ "Hey, her face is red." "Fever?" "No you idi-" "Twin Check~" Both press their foreheads against Chifuyu's for a temp check. "...y-you idiots, constantly doing things at your own pace." "Hee hee." "Because we love you, 'Oneechan'?" "...baka..." Chifuyu looks away, mumbling something incoherently Ah, so much cheese, where is the ham to go with this cheese... EDIT: Yamada comes into the infirmary, looking for a Band-Aid for a papercut. Sees all three Orimura in the room, with their heads close to each other. 0.0 "O-o-o-Orimura-sensei!?" "Hey, good tim-" "I'M SORRY FOR INTERRUPTING!!" "...eh?" "Orimura Family Time...even though I also want to join in...the middle..." WHAT ARE YOU THINKING NOW, WOMAN!? __________________ "Focus entirely on me, you ordinary soldier." Last edited by Tempest35; 2013-05-15 at 06:21.

2013-05-15, 06:11	Link #43285
Eratas123 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2011	Hahahaha __________________

2013-05-15, 06:12	Link #43286
demino_hellsin That one guy Join Date: Nov 2011	Basically step 4 is dead end and everything after that will be dictated by said snark. If you remove that you remove the whole thing. Basically adding in snark is a huge mood shift. or at least keep it a soft jibe. Or a lame one. Not something that goes "Oh no you didn't!"

2013-05-15, 06:13	Link #43287
ZeroXSEED I am no one Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Inside your head	Basically summed up by tempest, the injury is there so everyone stop being stupid. I'd tone down Ichika's reaction though, too OOC even for ST standard. (Thanks to the guideline draft ) Though again, the injury doesn't require anything major, just gentle touch with cotton and antiseptic and some mouth examination. Anyway, doesn't this sounds more intimate? So yes, Chifuyu's badassery is a new meme, that minor injury is not expected, it's all or nothing business. (Of course, per ST tradition, the 'blood coffee' sheanigans is deconstructed during rescue arc, and both Orimura collapsed as soon as everyone except the medics left) __________________

2013-05-15, 06:14	Link #43288
Tempest35 Awe of She Author Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Orlando	I think a jibe' about 'dishonest older sisters' would suffice in place of the 'snark'. Or a snarky jibe...its tricky... EDIT: Mouth examination? Toothbrush session? eye gleam __________________ "Focus entirely on me, you ordinary soldier."

2013-05-15, 06:17	Link #43289
ZeroXSEED I am no one Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Inside your head	No Flashback to niseimonogatari not THAT intimate... maybe __________________

2013-05-15, 06:19	Link #43290
Eratas123 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2011	Agreed: Not THAT intimate. Besides, if it was reality, wouldn't the person injured bleed out or re-open wounds if they tried anything? __________________

2013-05-15, 06:23	Link #43291
ZeroXSEED I am no one Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Inside your head	Okay, (re)writing draft soon! __________________

2013-05-15, 06:24	Link #43292
Tempest35 Awe of She Author Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Orlando	snickers just teasing...but nothing to say that Ik-kun and Madoka-chan can't recreated it... as an Omake or something...XD starts up the sexaphone Hah, Madoka would faint right in the middle...T^T Madoka: N-no I wouldn't!!! face is RED __________________ "Focus entirely on me, you ordinary soldier."

2013-05-15, 06:27	Link #43293
ZeroXSEED I am no one Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Inside your head	That... Maybe happen back when they're little, whereas Ichika is hotblooded keet and Madoka is extremely shrunken violet Maybe Houki's nightmare or something __________________

2013-05-15, 06:28	Link #43294
Eratas123 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2011	In general, I tend to laugh when the heavily bandaged protagonist and whoevers healing them make out or are implied to do the houki pouki. They'd bleed out or tear open the injured person's wounds. __________________

2013-05-15, 06:33	Link #43296
Eratas123 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2011	Trust me, it really wouldn't work. I tried to play it straight in a draft, but I ended up making Saito bleed because his wounds were fresh. __________________

2013-05-15, 06:34	Link #43297
ZeroXSEED I am no one Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Inside your head	BWAHAHAHAH So true, so true. H-manga is THE worst offender, especially if it's deconstructively parodied (all the realism, but none of the drama) __________________

2013-05-15, 06:35	Link #43298
Tempest35 Awe of She Author Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Orlando	puts on Marvin Gaye "I need sexual healing~" Ichika: "It's not literal!" Laura: But I want to try it... Houki: No! It's a very delicate procedure... Cecilia: Wh-what!? How would you know!? Houki: I'm part of a shrine, you know... Charl: So you priestesses really do that sort of thing? Houki: No! At least, I don't...! Ichika: ... see what you've started... I confirm nor deny nothing. ~~ Yamada's little proclamation about the scared 'Orimura Family Time' and the imaginations of young, impressionable perverted highschool girls... Houki can dream of the toothbrush scene after hearing about that... It would be Ichika's turn that night to be 'taken care of' by his lovely older and twin sisters... Readers need fan-service too. thumbs up, nosebleed* Why am I in such an ero-mood today.... >< ... wait, that's everyday... __________________ "Focus entirely on me, you ordinary soldier."

2013-05-15, 06:38	Link #43299
Eratas123 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2011	Then again, to some people, the blood would be a turn-on:/ There's a reason there's a trope called "In love with your weakness". __________________