Who is a hikikomori?

[a_person]

Basically wondering who is a hikikomori here on this forum?

If you are, how do you personally deal with it.

Since this is a public forum, any discussion about it is sensitive and will leave a stigma attach to your name, if you are and if you are willing to talk in private, private message me if you want.

[boneyjellyfish]

Would you be willing to explain what exactly a hikikomori is? I've never heard that term before.

*edit*
Okay, I looked it up on WikiPedia (is there no end to its usefulness?), where I found out that it's just a term for a person who lives out of their parents' basement.

Well, seeing as how I'm not that kind of person, I think I'll just leave now... *whistles*

[celcius]

It would help to give a short description of what Hikikomori is, for the clueless out there like me.

Originally Posted by answers-zone.com

Hikikomori (ひきこもり or 引き篭り lit. "pulling away, being confined," i.e.. "acute social withdrawal") is a Japanese term to refer to the phenomenon of reclusive adolescents and young adults who have chosen to withdraw from social life — often seeking extreme degrees of isolation and confinement due to various personal and social factors in their lives.

I analyze myself and find that I don't think I count as one. Sure, I prefer to be alone, and going with my own business; but I also don't mind spending time with friends or don't mind meeting new people. As with the above poster, *flies away*

[Chichi]

I don't know anyone personally nor met (obviously) any one who isolates themselves like that, but there are quite a few in the neighborhood, or so my Mother tells me.

[JOJOS'STAR]

I'm not. But 2 of my friends are.

Well they're aren't my friends anymore obviously. So should I say my ex-friends? Both used to have a minimum of a social life. Now they have themselves, their family maybe, manage to get a life through this but I suspect one of them (who's been like that for a while now) to keep changing jobs all the time just to make sure he dosen't get to close from the people he works with. IMO to avoid any undesired social relations.

[DaFool]

I doubt it. Most of us either go to school or Uni or have a job. Which pretty much forces social contact.

[Dark Steno]

Originally Posted by DaFool

I doubt it. Most of us either go to school or Uni or have a job. Which pretty much forces social contact.

I agree but how about within neighbourhood?

[JOJOS'STAR]

Originally Posted by DaFool

I doubt it. Most of us either go to school or Uni or have a job. Which pretty much forces social contact.

Having contact with colleagues at work or scool is necessary to live. But even then I can assure you that they realy give the minimum of whats required from them, to accomplish whatever they do, correctly. They manage through that obviously but out of the real world its different.

[raphaël]

I think there was a time i wanted to be one...


I'm always better on my own, i realized that a long long time ago... No need to apologize for what you say, what you do, what you are. What a kick!



But I just think i'm too old for that now. And the basic idea of hikikomori way of life basically irritates me a lot, actually. Like parents let do. I don't know how they can call themselves parents in the first place...


Anyway I'd rather become a ermit, if you know what i mean.

[ImperialPanda]

Scratch this. Reading a wrong implication from OP.

[Vexx]

We have a running gag that my younger son is one .... we live in a house with a finished "daylight basement" (partially buried first floor) and he occupies a couple of rooms and a bathroom down there. Of course, he's only 15, is in the band and the debate team --- but he does like to hole up to decompress after school. After a while I start joking about lowering food down via rope and he starts talking again.

Personally I had a period in college that I kind of isolated myself --- even while I was dating. I suspect I was clinically depressed at the time but I seem to have gotten over it.

[HydraDragoon]

*************

[sorvani]

we talked about this at work today. my co-workers can't understand why the parents don't kick the children out on their ass.

i guess the average amaerican can't understand just how much "fitting in" and "don't stick out" and "the group is more important than the individual" are ingrained in Japanese culture compared to our "Me" culture.

[Komataguri]

I don't live in a basement. >_>

[Lady Yanami]

I'm not that bad, but I do tend to stay inside and only hang out with my immediate family. I have trust issues with people that aren't my realllllly close family. I dont' so much hide or withdraw from society--I just choose not to deal with them when I can help it.

[physics223]

I stay at home most of the time and watch anime or read or study. I'm not a hikikomori, though: I avoid going out because it's a waste of money and we're not rich people ... I'd rather have my cheap Internet and forums of opinion from different kinds of people.

[raikage]

I still live in my parents' place -- but that's only because I can't economically justify to myself moving out of the house to continue living in the same (expensive) city.

[Mincemaker]

I tend to hole up in my room after polytechnic, but I'm not a hikkomori. If I'm one, I won't even go out at all, and will be locking myself in my room 24 hours a day unless I want to go toilet, take a bath (and I will take like 1 bath a week) and eat dinner (probably insist that dinner be brought to my room).

[nixie]

Well, like HydraDragoon, I was sort of living like one after high school since I couldn't decide on uni and everyone's out there working for their dreams. So yeah, sort of left behind. I didn't really mind though, I was never a very sociable person in the first place. I did go out once in a while to meet up with old friends so I guess you can't call me 100% hikkikomori. Actually, now that I'm studying, I'm kind of missing those pressure-free days. But I'm not going back to that sort of lifestyle, thanks.

[Mincemaker]

On the side note, if I ever do get out of my house, I find it difficult to go back in. I had this habit of wandering all over the place, or sitting in a public library and refusing to leave.