Dating

[Mystique]

[QUOTE=WanderingKnight;1926685]Hey, she's the one who started flirting with me.

And come on, if you believe women at my age can't have sex for pleasure only... if only I told you about my past relationships

Originally Posted by Mystique

I'm not saying that girls can't go casual either, of course they can, but it takes a very very confident girl/woman to do so (and even then, we have to go against our nature of wanting more than just casual sex if there's chemistry.) And usually, they're not that many around while they're teenagers.

I can only quote myself there. :\
Very few things in life are absolute, was just saying it's a rare to see teen girls (who aren't hookers or "paying for college" or have extreme low self esteem) so blase bout sex without risking some form of emotional attachment and have the confidence to play the field with many different guys.
But then we're on different generations and different cultures, I dunno what argentinian teenage girls are getting to over there nowadays, but if the stats were generally higher of girls aged let's say 20 and under, teasing and flirting with a guy for a while to make him interested, they have sex the one time and then she goes 'it's not working out, sorry' or 'it was just a bit of fun, nothing serious' simply just cuts contact with the guy and moves on to tease/flirt with the next teen guy, i'd be
1; amused cause its such a gender swap and
2; curious about their attitudes on life to act that way, since it's a pretty crummy thing to do anyways.

At any rate, we went out on Saturday and had a great time, but I've made it clear to her that, for now, I'm not looking for a relationship--she seemed to understand my feelings about it. She did express her willingness to get to know me better before doing anything, though... Which gets me to ponder on women's attitudes sometimes :/

EDIT: Just to clear things up, I am not trying to harm her emotionally or something of the sort, and I'd dislike it very much if we parted in a conflicting manner. I'm merely responding to her insinuations and her approach towards me. And she's hotter than any other girl I've ever been with, so not playing the game would make me feel a little stupid about myself.

Playing along is fine, just the closer you guys get to the touchy feely parts, the more risk you run. Getting to know her is better, gain a sense if she's really a girl who could mess around with you for a ... well I dunno how often you'd wanna have sex.
(friends with benefits? Casual sex partners, just once a week or longer?)
Keep talking to her, keep things in the open, make sure she tells you back what your intentions are, don't accept 'i understand' cause we girls somehow have powers of our emotions re arranging the facts we heard, lol.

Tell ya what's the most likely thing to happen: I end up having a relationship with her, even if I find her understanding of the world rather repulsive. I'm weak-willed like that

You mean cause you're a nice guy, or you'd stick with her just for the sex, which with the latter i refer to my 'blood can only rush to one head at a time' quote

Though I know some part of myself will want to "convert" her and show her why some of her viewpoints are so utterly mistaken.

Which then again makes me wonder why you're gonna waste your time and energy on a girl who may be hot but on the mental and emotional level is on a different plane from you :\

Ah well, keep us posted, (if u don't mind) - see how things pan out...

[WanderingKnight]

But then we're on different generations and different cultures, I dunno what argentinian teenage girls are getting to over there nowadays, but if the stats were generally higher of girls aged let's say 20 and under, teasing and flirting with a guy for a while to make him interested, they have sex the one time and then she goes 'it's not working out, sorry' or 'it was just a bit of fun, nothing serious' simply just cuts contact with the guy and moves on to tease/flirt with the next teen guy, i'd be
1; amused cause its such a gender swap and
2; curious about their attitudes on life to act that way, since it's a pretty crummy thing to do anyways.

Well, that attitude is actually quite fairly common not only on girls my age but also younger. I really don't know how can you be so amused at it--I've been the "victim" of such a girl once, and I've had quite a few female girls who had the same approach at sex.

Of course, I'm not implying everyone's the same, but it's not that unheard of.

(friends with benefits? Casual sex partners, just once a week or longer?)

Haha, I think here I would be the one complaining. If I did such a thing I'd believe myself weak for not being able to move on for whatever reason.

You mean cause you're a nice guy, or you'd stick with her just for the sex, which with the latter i refer to my 'blood can only rush to one head at a time' quote

As you said yourself before, there are no absolute truths in the world. I'm enough of a nice guy to hate the idea of dumping anyone without at least trying to work things out (in fact, I've never done it before--it was always the girl the one who decided to move on), but I'm not naive enough to ignore my physical craves towards the female gender, if you get my idea.

Which then again makes me wonder why you're gonna waste your time and energy on a girl who may be hot but on the mental and emotional level is on a different plane from you :\

Because she seems too interested in me. Gotta say that's not something that happens too often, even less with a pretty attractive girl such as this one. And, of course, as it always happens, you begin to form a connection with any given person if you spend enough amount of time with him or her. As I said in my previous post, I had a lot of fun in the date because, well, she's not a bad person at all. She's just a little (too) misguided.

Ah well, keep us posted, (if u don't mind) - see how things pan out...

She has to focus on her exams for two weeks, so I won't have anything more to tell until that's over--but I've already scheduled a date two Saturdays from now

[AMDX1325]

Go with the flow~~~~~~~~~~

[ChainLegacy]

Sex is a biological mechanism evolved over hundreds of millions of years for the sake of reproduction. People take it waaay too seriously sometimes, just stop and think about what sex *is* before getting all worked up over it.

[GuidoHunter_Toki]

Originally Posted by ChainLegacy

Sex is a biological mechanism evolved over millions for the sake of reproduction. People take it waaay too seriously sometimes, just stop and think about what sex *is* before getting all worked up over it.

Well it is one of the very great pleasures in life.

[King Lycan]

Originally Posted by ChainLegacy

Sex is a biological mechanism evolved over hundreds of millions of years for the sake of reproduction. People take it waaay too seriously sometimes, just stop and think about what sex *is* before getting all worked up over it.

Yes .:

[Ledgem]

Originally Posted by ChainLegacy

Sex is a biological mechanism evolved over hundreds of millions of years for the sake of reproduction. People take it waaay too seriously sometimes, just stop and think about what sex *is* before getting all worked up over it.

If you knew the science behind it you wouldn't take it so lightly. You might feel better if you don't think about it.

[rio]

Originally Posted by ChainLegacy

Sex is a biological mechanism evolved over hundreds of millions of years for the sake of reproduction. People take it waaay too seriously sometimes, just stop and think about what sex *is* before getting all worked up over it.

if i could do like that, i don't need to worry about anything.

What you say is for natural world and animals.
we are animals too, but we are humans living in a formed society with morality,
so we can't ignore things around us.

i don't deny sex is a biological thing and people want to do that for the mechanism of the body .
But the idea people can do what they want to do as their body says biologically is skeptical.

people have heart and brain , and can think what is going to be before doing that, and feel sad, guilty, worried, irritated by the relations of people. We are like that, and sex we mention here is for such an animal, so we need to consider it, at least , it is not wrong or strange to consider it.

[mg1942]

I did an experiment to see if I can hook up with a girl by showing and letting her ride in my uncle's modded E46 BMW (silver exterior, dark metallic gray wheels, and tinted windows)

Damn! It works like a charm! A living proof that Euro-brand luxury cars such as BMW are good chick-magnets


(NOTE: I wear my Armani apparel with Clarks shoes for this experiment to work)

[WanderingKnight]

Sex is a biological mechanism evolved over hundreds of millions of years for the sake of reproduction. People take it waaay too seriously sometimes, just stop and think about what sex *is* before getting all worked up over it.

Sex is also a wonderful way of having fun, you know. And no one can live without some actual, palpable love from time to time

Everyone deserves it! Even you, who seems to think sex isn't necessary. Keep that in mind and perhaps you'll see your attitude towards it change.

[solomon]

Originally Posted by mg1942

I did an experiment to see if I can hook up with a girl by showing and letting her ride in my uncle's modded E46 BMW (silver exterior, dark metallic gray wheels, and tinted windows)

Damn! It works like a charm! A living proof that Euro-brand luxury cars such as BMW are good chick-magnets


(NOTE: I wear my Armani apparel with Clarks shoes for this experiment to work)

yer kidding right?

[mg1942]

Originally Posted by solomon

yer kidding right?

I'm for real! My uncle was amused


edit: I did that experiment to one of the girls in my UNLV Literature class last fall. I didn't try to get to know her, but I got through her with some smooth talk. I needed some help from her in that class. I even gave her some compensation for giving up some of her time for me.
I passed that class thanks to her. After that, we just moved on. I deleted her from my cell number I didn't see her again.

heh I wonder if this even counts as dating...

[Mystique]

Originally Posted by ChainLegacy

Sex is a biological mechanism evolved over hundreds of millions of years for the sake of reproduction. People take it waaay too seriously sometimes, just stop and think about what sex *is* before getting all worked up over it.

Yeah sex is in its basic form, but that's called intercourse; the meet of sperm and egg, a "wham, bam, not even a thank you ma'am, just make me kids woman so i can carry on my legacy" kinda thought.

Originally Posted by Ledgem

If you knew the science behind it you wouldn't take it so lightly. You might feel better if you don't think about it.

...
And this is why I can't date a scientist. xD
Forget the science, that's stuff we read in books and learn in school. It's a purely instinctual, purely sensual experience, where thinking and logic have no place (if things are going right)

Originally Posted by GuidoHunter_Toki

Well it is one of the very great pleasures in life.

Adding to that:
It is one of the very great, most natural, completely free, most healthy pleasures in life.
Sex is a kaledioscope.
There are various methods and styles of achieving pleasure, not all have to involve intercourse.
(Guys, there is no better investment than foreplay or even simple flirting, the biggest sex organ is our brain/minds after all )
Our bodies are wired with the nerves from birth to get stimulated for some fun.
The reason chainlegacy that it causes a fuss, is cause it's probably the only natural solution for some humans to truly truly escape. The body is stimulated to the point where pleasure rides you. Your body controls you rather than the other way round, like me typing this message.
Add in addition that it feels stupidly good, you could be literally be seeing stars with it, then for a lot of people it becomes somewhat of an addiction, or a quest to find other ways (conventional or not) to increase or simply seek pleasure in different forms.
(Probably part of the West's obsession with orgasms or multiple ones for ladies)
But the bloodhound gang said it best:
"You and me baby are nothing but mammals, so let's do what they do on the discovery channel."

I agree in terms of teens or others shouldn't get worked up if they're not having sex; a lot of the times i feel in their rush to try it, they end up having a crappy 1st few times. For girls who are virgins and aren't stimulated enough for intercourse, to break the hymen, it can be downright painful.
In addition, the media doesn't help in that aspect by shoving it in our faces every damn day either, for those who are single. (Probably why I know so many bitter single peeps on Val's day who I start teasing.) >.>
However...
Don't underestimate it.
Sex is sex, "making love" however is another entire level above the basic act. If you're fortunate to find someone special who you connect with mentally, spiritually, emotionally and psychically, then maybe one day you'll understand the fuss about it.

[Ledgem]

Originally Posted by Mystique

...
And this is why I can't date a scientist. xD

However...
Don't underestimate it.
Sex is sex, "making love" however is another entire level above the basic act. If you're fortunate to find someone special who you connect with mentally, spiritually, emotionally and psychically, then maybe one day you'll understand the fuss about it.

Sex is actually not "just sex" however, and that's where the science comes into play. Haven't you seen those love comedies about people having sex suddenly becoming romantically involved, even though it wasn't the intention? Better yet, have you ever known it to happen in real life? These can be at least partially explained by the effects of sex on your brain. I have no doubt that psychology is involved, but I'm focusing on the neuroscience.

What happens when people have sex, aside from the obvious? It's been found that there's a change in brain chemistry. The brain patterns mimic those of a drug addict, however the addiction is not to drugs, or even to sex - it's to the person you had sex with. This may also explain why some people fall "madly in love" - they are literally addicted to each other. Being around one another satisfies the addiction, and when they are apart they may find that the other person - the focus of their addiction - is always on their mind.

How this compares with drug addictions is not overly important, and what I read did not make the comparison. What you might be interested in knowing is that the addiction eventually fades off after a certain time period for most people - I believe it was somewhere between three and nine months. It was noted that in some people the addiction can either return and/or remain (usually at lower levels). I like to think that this explains why many people have a "honeymoon" phase when they first start dating, and why after a few months it wears off.

It's hypothesized that part of the reason for the addiction phase is to increase chances of procreation. If two people are chemically manipulated into being attracted to one another, and they are always around one another due to their mutual addictions, the likelihood of sexual activity occurring increases quite a bit. By the time the addiction wears off, the female should be pregnant. As to why the addiction ends at all, the theory accounts for that by stating roughly that if a baby hasn't been conceived by then, it won't be conceived, and it's better that both partners separate so that they can try again with new partners. This is just one possible explanation for why the brain activity goes in the way that it does.

Given what I've just said, you should note that this does not afflict everyone the same way. Having sex will not automatically make you addicted to your partner, and your addiction may not be as full-blown as someone else's. Just be aware of what's going on if you encounter a sexual or near-sexual experience with someone and suddenly you can't get them off your mind.

Science!

Edit: I forgot to mention that during this time period there is also a hormonal imbalance that occurs. Specifically, testosterone (the "male hormone") levels drop in males and rise in females. I don't recall whether estrogen (the "female hormone") falls in females and rises in males. Regardless, the hormones have effects on your mood and personality - testosterone has been linked to aggression, among other things. The altered hormone levels could result in slightly modified behaviors, personality, and thought process.

Why would the hormone levels change? It's theorized that this occurs so as to minimize conflict between the male and female pair. By making them more similar hormonally, they may get along better. Combined with the fact that they'd be addicted to each other and spending copious amounts of time with one another, compatibility is rather important. Anecdotally speaking, I have heard of at least one boy whose behavior changed when he began dating a girl, and yet it reverted when they broke up. Again, it's likely not due solely to the biological factors that I've mentioned in this post, but I wouldn't be surprised if the case I mentioned and others like it occur at least in part due to what's happening within the bodies of the participants.

[Kakashi]

See, who wouldn't date a scientist?

[WanderingKnight]

The female scientist stereotype sure is hot

[Mystique]

*reads ledgems reply*

And this is precisely why I'd never date one!
Your response, right there!!!
It's like my male geeky friends at work

Me: Wow, rainbows are so beautiful. I wonder why they appear after a series of rain, maybe it's nature's way of cheering us up a little.
Friend: Actually, this would be due to the light in the spectrum, etc etc etc.
Me: Aggggh!
*laughs*
Totally kill all moods and ambience, I swear!

While there is "science" behind most things, not all of us wanna bring it to light, nor even delve into it. Some of us hiss at science (esp neuroscience or physics) the way a cat hisses at water.
On a general level, it's good for basic knowledge and understanding, but to break down each and every step of arousal, attraction, sex, flirting - you know the fun sensual experience that really can be instinctual and sensory, to simple logical, limited explanations for humane thought processing is… just... ugh. x.x
In short our perceptions in life are kinda like this:
(NB: mini piss take, please take a pinch of out this bowl of salt i'm offering you...)
Me:
I like how your eyes darken with that internal knowing light when you look at me with lust gazed eyes. Your desire awakens my own, stirrings of longing that caress me from deep within. The sight of you takes my breath away...

You:
As I apply pressure to your lips with my own, you’ll find that your eyes will close and you may experience a drowsy sensation alike being intoxicated with alcohol. Yes, this would be the endorphins releasing into your cerebral-spinal fluid. It’s the body’s natural way to assist with pain relief and are thought to be involved in controlling the body's response to stress.
At this point you may notice your heartbeat as increased considerable too and your breath has shortened. The blood rushing to our sexual organs will cause mine to lengthen and harden, whereas yours will swell, alike what happens during the time your body menstruates.
And my eyes have probably darkened, that’d be due to my pupils dilating which can occur at times of arousal or excitement.
(And so on…)

I'm generally random as hell and light hearted, very whimsical only having to be serious if a time or place calls for it.
You feel like (if I have to go by my doctor/scientist mates) always on a analytic, logical thought process to anything you do, your daily habits and experiences you encounter. You have this need to make sense of everything.
Where's the mystery, where's the suspense, where's the enigma and simply going with the flow without questioning?
Where's the romance?! xD

When I mentioned how people can become addicted, I talking on the basic level of the quest for pleasure and why people seem to constantly seek sex and why sex is everywhere; there are probably more psychological reasons to why some people live for an orgasm.
And it's not necessarily limited to the simple flirt-date-gain feelings-have sex pattern, which yes, by your very detailed logical explanation there, the body would be reacting and working like that, but some people go casual.
Some have many various partners, some love variety, aren't bound by limits in their acts. Some make it a hobby to simply fine tune their bodies for all kinds of sexual experiences, learn to control or focus certain aspects of their body for different effects using different techniques, but I doubt they're really checking out the science behind it, it’s more just acting on a drive. A lot would just be on feelings or instinct built on experience.

Somehow, I figure people can simply be addicted to the act and its results rather to the human(s) they participated with, but that's another discussion out of this thread if you wanna add it to the 20ft rain check list of 'things to discuss', feel free

On a personal side note out of curiosity, I’d love to talk to your girlfriend.
Am curious to see what kinda person she is to click so well with ya

[Ledgem]

Originally Posted by Mystique

*reads ledgems reply*

And this is precisely why I'd never date one!
Your response, right there!!!
It's like my male geeky friends at work

Me: Wow, rainbows are so beautiful. I wonder why they appear after a series of rain, maybe it's nature's way of cheering us up a little.
Friend: Actually, this would be due to the light in the spectrum, etc etc etc.
Me: Aggggh!
*laughs*
Totally kill all moods and ambience, I swear!

Hey now, I don't go overboard like that. I know well enough when people do and don't want to hear it. And I guarantee you, maybe you didn't want to read the explanation (but I'm guessing you did - gotcha!), I'm sure someone out there on the internet wanted to hear it!

On a general level, it's good for basic knowledge and understanding, but to break down each and every step of arousal, attraction, sex, flirting - you know the fun sensual experience that really can be instinctual and sensory, to simple logical, limited explanations for humane thought processing is… just... ugh. x.x

But I didn't even mention any chemical names or pathways...

(NB: mini piss take, please take a pinch of out this bowl of salt i'm offering you...)

What's a piss take?

You feel like (if I have to go by my doctor/scientist mates) always on a analytic, logical thought process to anything you do, your daily habits and experiences you encounter. You have this need to make sense of everything.
Where's the mystery, where's the suspense, where's the enigma and simply going with the flow without questioning?
Where's the romance?! xD

I can appreciate mystery and suspense. I don't feel the need to understand how every little thing works - however, I do get somewhat excited at discovering how things work down to the little details. As of now I am not as far along as some of my professors. Their advice for reading scientific papers involves reading a bit, then stopping, thinking about what would come next, and only continuing on until you're either pretty sure you know what comes next (that is, the next experiment you would have run if this were your paper) or until you feel like you're about to explode because you can't wait to find out what happens next. I don't get that excited, and I guess I sort of feel guilty about it.

Since the discussion had turned to sex, I thought people might be interested in knowing what goes on in a general sort of sense. The knowledge is to your benefit. Have sex with someone and there's a good chance that you'll feel that they are your "one and only." Knowing that your thought process has been tampered with by a hormone imbalance (which I forgot to mention, but it's also rather important to note - I have added it to the end of my previous post) and an addiction can help quite a bit in helping you to avoid bad decisions.

For example, in the first relationship I had, I was totally devoted to the girl. It became worse after we shared the same bed (but no sex - that's an amusing story in itself, one which my friends derived much laughter from, because in hindsight she wanted to do some things and yet my own innocence and ignorance allowed me to leave that house untouched). I felt like everything was perfect, this was the one. I could imagine us getting married, living the rest of our lives together, and so on. In reality, it was a borderline abusive relationship. I knew that my thought process was likely cracked, thanks to some of the knowledge I've shared, and it probably kept me from embarrassing myself too much. After about three weeks of it I managed to get back a bit of rational thought, and a week or two after that I ended the relationship.

On a personal side note out of curiosity, I’d love to talk to your girlfriend.
Am curious to see what kinda person she is to click so well with ya

She's soft-spoken (except to me), incredibly warm and caring, very polite, shy, silly when it's just the two of us, and amazingly beautiful. Her training in the sciences was arguably greater than mine up until recenty, but it isn't her passion. She's received a few lectures from me; she's quite good at pretending like she's listening even when she's bored to tears For the most part I spare her. I can't see how bored people are when they read over my posts (if they read over them at all), so posts grow to epic proportions as I begin to enjoy myself without the negative feedback of the listener.

[WanderingKnight]

Hey, come on now.

Since when is wanting to know the answer to everything, life and the universe boring?

What has the world come to?

(To the unaware: that was tongue-in-cheek. See: 42)

[solomon]

Scince Television