2008-07-25, 18:26 | Link #3001 | |
OC Belka Scriptor
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Germany
Age: 40
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*head exprodez* Aaron!! xD The germa/belka word for explosion is Explosion!! Exprozion... *shakes head in amusement*
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2008-07-25, 22:15 | Link #3004 |
Truth Martyr
Author
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Doing Anzu's paperwork.
Age: 38
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.... Aaron.... do you know what your snippet has spawned?!
Sigandis, that's what! Knights of the Swords, their wills clashing, a dance of hearts and blades, on the battlefield of love! *casts Alert and Accel and RUNS LIKE HELL* Ninjaposting. TIred. 10,11,12 and 15 hour shifts.
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2008-07-26, 00:11 | Link #3005 | |||
~ I Do ~
Author
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: In the XV-8A Spartan "00"
Age: 38
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I still can't read it without feeling Keroko is going to kill me though, what with the implied yuri, mood swings... I tried to capture the spirit of a genki beserker type character but... The appearance of OCs can just be an insert fic, or mean something more sinister; This is a series that plays with time itself, so my internal CLAMP storyboarder moved in and hijacked it. At least people will then find more reason to read the fic. I tried my best to capture the animation style (and humor) of Ken Akamatsu in this writing, but I wonder if I managed to convey the flashbacks properly... That scene sort of bashed everything I thought about the Toushoran (Library, but switched the last radical to Wolf. ) + putting all those hi-tech weaponry of Chao's to good use + some crack from Keroko + a wild idea that just hit me when I was writing it. I mean, where in the world did I get the Khrack that Keroko's descendent is K-- *is shot by a Toushoran Hammerhead Railgun* Quote:
The thing is, unlike other threads on the internet, this one shall live till then. We'd have more delicious stuff for you then. Maybe we'll finally have the Cadia Trinity! Just as long as you don't disappear permanently as An Hero did... We'll wait for the return of Hayaurion!!! *FLEEEEZ* Quote:
But nevertheless it was like Goose said, in implications! Now taken with this video discovered by Eva earlier, I can now safely conclude: Signum = Sheryl Nome Grandis = Alto Hayate = Ranka Lee ...and their relative heights FIT!!! *transforms to Wolf form and FLEEEEEZ FASTAAAH!!!*
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2008-07-26, 00:29 | Link #3006 | |
The Resurrector
Author
Join Date: Sep 2007
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WIN! Signum is certainly going all out, and the same for Grandis. Though, it seems that Grandis is having advantage right now with his elemental control. I wonder what's going to happen in Part 2 ... Anyway, some minor nitpicks: Spoiler for Errors:
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2008-07-26, 01:40 | Link #3007 |
"Begin, the operation!"
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I... have returned...
From the barren wastes of the world, I have found my path, and returned here... ...And I bring with me... something... different. Allow the OCs to explain. Glen: "When Kagerou-san first began the Order of Freelance Mages, he had a vision of a unit that would mix firepower and magic, creating a diversion from canon that began to snowball out of control. Emili: "With the introduction of elements from Halo - notably the weapons, certain characters, and a great deal of the equipment - the story of the Order became less of a fantasy and more of a military, harder science-fiction tale." Erick: "And the story known as Alpha took that a step further, by eliminatin' anything that composed the canon. It destroyed the canon, and that not only alienated a lot o' people, but also made the story nothing like its base. Franz: "Nanoha has no room for mindless space zombies, hulking giants in green armor, and a useless main character. So it was decided; it's time to return to our roots. By taking what worked, and removing what didn't, Kagerou-san has effectively... caused the Fate of Destruction, and the Joy of Rebirth." Naomi: "Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha: Alpha is dead in the water; it no longer exists. Kagerou-san apologizes profusely, a thousand times over, for those who enjoyed it, and wishes that he could finish it. But he can't, not in the state it's in. It's time to fix things, to make them closer to canon, to reset his OCs and set them into the right direction." Rena: "And so begins our story... we are the new characters. We're going to help everything be set straight. We are returning to canon, and putting our own little mix to it, just like a good Original Character should. We're going to diversify the ideas started by our predecessors, and continue that trend. We will fix the problems..." Raye: "And create new wonders... or so we like to think. This is not only a rebirth, rebuild, recreation, or what have you. This is something new and exciting. Kagerou-san has found his spark again, what made him love to write, and now, he's going to start over. He's going to show you that he can write a good story, without diverging too strongly from canon; he's going to build us up slowly." Aelita: "You will learn about us, and who we are. You will see a slow buildup of ideas, thoughts, rants, and feelings, creating a new vision for us, in Outer Cadia. We will unite the universe that Kagerou-san envisioned with the universe that we call Kerokanon. No longer will there be such a strong divergence. No longer will canon be smashed to pieces. It will be... extended." Alexander: "The new Alpha - if it's even called that - will seek to unite Outer Cadia with that other thread, to give people who never come here a new outlook on us, to show us that we both can interact in such a way that they get us. We will make Keroko, Tesla, and Syn as if they were always there. We will make Kha and Fate's romance believable. We will take all of your thoughts and ideas, and we will expand on them. You, all of you, will be helping us... well, we hope." Zirnitra: ". We are not the Order of Freelance Mages. From this point forward, the old Order is now Goose's, to do what he wants to with them, to do what he will, and make his former master proud. That's right, Goose; Kagerou-san is releasing you. He says it's time for you to make your own way in this place; time for you to do what you will. And Kagerou-san, he's going his own, bringing all with him, even you again, if you wish. We are The Black Order. And we invite you to help tell our story."
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Last edited by Kagerou; 2008-07-26 at 01:59. |
2008-07-26, 04:50 | Link #3009 | |||||||
Adeptus Animus
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Age: 36
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*trails of and looks up to the sky* Oh... crap. *six scarlet red beams rain down from the sky around the piece, and begin to move closer in a circular motion, when they reach the center, one giant beam slams down in the middle, obliterating everything in the area* *climbs from under the ruble* right, as I was saying, there's a lot of stuff that does not compute. First off, too much copy/paste! Seriously, I liked the little adition of the caste system to the Wolf clan to show their hierarchy, but the adition of the Mont'au was completely unecissary, and actually detracted from the strength you had given them earlier. I half felt like I was reading the bloody Tau codex there! Secondly, like I said before, I'm going to shuffle things to make Caliburn Keroko's artefact, the Relic is what Chao will give her. Now, I can't fault you for the errors in her personallity, (I need to finish her profile before I can do that) but suffice to say that there were a lot of areas that had a very OOC Keroko here (this Keroko is nowhere near as vulnerable as Nanoha Keroko). Finally, the trigger I was talking about was Chao triggering the last remains of her memory about the TSAB. She doesn't have any memory of her Royal Belkan lineage to trigger, the discovery of that is all planned to be Mundus Magicus stuff (how, where and when are still undecided). Semi-yuri made me though. Quote:
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I enjoyed Alpha, and I eagerly await what you are planning to write next. |
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2008-07-26, 05:05 | Link #3010 |
~ I Do ~
Author
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: In the XV-8A Spartan "00"
Age: 38
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EPIC FAIL
*dies* See? I told you putting it up was a bad idea, Aaron. T_T *chills in the corner* Zetsuboshita. T_T Toushoran ni ZETSUBOSHITA! T_T T_T T_T
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Last edited by Kha; 2008-07-26 at 05:24. |
2008-07-26, 06:45 | Link #3012 |
~ I Do ~
Author
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: In the XV-8A Spartan "00"
Age: 38
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And you think spending an entire day telling yourself you are GOING to fail would help push Crushing Blows off the table. But noooooooo I still got flattened by Impending Doom.
Yeah like PG said at least I know why it failed. Proper characterization will have to wait; but Chao and Aun combined into one tempting package, and like Kha, its too tempting to drop. After all, I like turning traditional viewpoints on its head, and tribal werewolves were the first step, then came the realization that Chao had the weapons I wanted... And after what the wolves came up against as a result of the Tree getting drained for that powerful spell, it was all according to her plan. Except the bit where they sent the best cadre under Shas'O'Remyr's command, along with Raika, Anna and other Aunshu masters, to the surface to support Kouya. And so now I've been trying to go back to pre-Aun basics and I still end up back here. I literally had a Khrack explosion, and had to write something, so I was expecting failure anyway. Now this is my problem: I can't seem to let go of the contact between the Wolves and Chao. It's Belka all over again!
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2008-07-26, 08:14 | Link #3013 | |
Love Hina?
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Kangaroos live in my backyard =P
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Maybe...
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Although it's likely that you'll never hear of them ever again -Comments- You've introduced the swords in the opening lines, but then describe them again just after your youtube insert. You could probably kill one of those lines since you've just repeated yourself within half a page worth of text. Other than that, not bad, not bad indeed Well as long as I don't see exorcists things will be good >.> |
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2008-07-26, 08:30 | Link #3014 | |
OC Belka Scriptor
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Germany
Age: 40
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Ah sorry for not commenting the match itself... It was 2 o'clock in the morning and I was staying at a friends place watching anime all night, so I was only able to quickread things. Pretty impressive! Signum fighting is always nice. And Grandis has some badass moves himself. xD
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2008-07-26, 10:24 | Link #3016 | ||||||
NERV Personnel
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Ganbatte!! Quote:
MORE!!!! Quote:
Did Aaron just break Kyral with a single word? Quote:
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Ah, so it finally arrives here in the OCT. |
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2008-07-26, 11:17 | Link #3017 | |
Adeptus Animus
Author
Join Date: Jan 2007
Age: 36
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Quote:
Don't stuff too much into them, if you have new ideas, create new factions and characters for them, but don't stuff all ideas into one of them. Last edited by Keroko; 2008-07-26 at 13:56. |
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2008-07-26, 14:26 | Link #3018 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Gaf's Room
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Warning: following spoiler box is made of randomness. Feel free to ignore it if irks you.
Spoiler for random:
Hit by the sudden urge to write yet unable to direct it towards something meaningful, I have to resort to venting my frustration in simple words and posting it here. Though I hope it retains the slightest of value for being half-baked riddles of one thousand and one story ideas that has long been clogged in my mind that was released in this binge. ..though I have to say it feels great getting this out of my system through this selfish rant.
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hayaurion, kaonland, keroland, khrack, original content |
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