Dating

[Jinto]

Originally Posted by Paranoid Android

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I've never dated an overweight woman, especially that I am underweight (even more awkward). But I wonder how someone would tell their partner to lose weight? I can't imagine how it won't be terribly mean.

I would at least try to make her take part in some of my sports activities (together it might be more fun anyway). Chances are, it does not change a thing, but you have the feeling she tried.

Originally Posted by Paranoid Android

You can't agree to a relationship with a condition that the other person will change. You have to be already satisfied with the way they are now.

You cannot generalize this, some people are not very mature when they enter a relationship. Some actually seek guidance. And some actually need some "motivation" to actually do something meaningful with their life.

However, regarding character traits you are right... partners most likely won't change them (especially if they are fully matured).

[SaintessHeart]

Actually, after reading through all of these posts, sometimes I wonder why many guys actually want to go into a relationship when they expect heartbreaks or failures despite putting their all into it, or even worse, doling out expenses the Dutch way.

Males are supposed to be more rational - and I am a pretty good example; I have so plenty of 2D waifus, and I am very happy to have near-perfect girls like them to love. Plus I don't have to spend much on them too by going out to build relationship points. And when I want another one, all I have to do is the basics of starting a relationship - plan, improvise and execute......no need to waste effort on being introspective, or rather, totally forgetting about that during the relationship.

[HasuMasu]

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

Actually, after reading through all of these posts, sometimes I wonder why many guys actually want to go into a relationship when they expect heartbreaks or failures despite putting their all into it, or even worse, doling out expenses the Dutch way.

Males are supposed to be more rational - and I am a pretty good example; I have so plenty of 2D waifus, and I am very happy to have near-perfect girls like them to love. Plus I don't have to spend much on them too by going out to build relationship points. And when I want another one, all I have to do is the basics of starting a relationship - plan, improvise and execute......no need to waste effort on being introspective, or rather, totally forgetting about that during the relationship.

Because I'm a big M, that's why.

Also, it feels pretty good when things don't go as expected.

[Ascaloth]

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

Actually, after reading through all of these posts, sometimes I wonder why many guys actually want to go into a relationship when they expect heartbreaks or failures despite putting their all into it, or even worse, doling out expenses the Dutch way.

Males are supposed to be more rational - and I am a pretty good example; I have so plenty of 2D waifus, and I am very happy to have near-perfect girls like them to love. Plus I don't have to spend much on them too by going out to build relationship points. And when I want another one, all I have to do is the basics of starting a relationship - plan, improvise and execute......no need to waste effort on being introspective, or rather, totally forgetting about that during the relationship.

Yeah, you know, says the guy who had a Fujibayashi Sisters duo handed to him on a silver platter, and completely blew it through pure inaction. That makes your words all the more convincing, oh yes.

[SaintessHeart]

Originally Posted by Ascaloth

Yeah, you know, says the guy who had a Fujibayashi Sisters duo handed to him on a silver platter, and completely blew it through pure inaction. That makes your words all the more convincing, oh yes.

Well, it is not like I don't want them. Those girls are like futures contracts.....high risk, high return. Except that I am investing my LIFE instead of money on that.

[Kafriel]

That's a mean blow below the belt To his defence though, I may not have 2D waifus but my town is a place of superior tranquility, so I rarely ever feel the need to go out dating. The only time I do is in winter, and I already got my plans set for December 27th

[Paranoid Android]

Originally Posted by Jinto

I would at least try to make her take part in some of my sports activities (together it might be more fun anyway). Chances are, it does not change a thing, but you have the feeling she tried.

That's really interesting, never thought of that. But knowing she tried may very well be enough for me.

Originally Posted by SaintlessHeart

Actually, after reading through all of these posts, sometimes I wonder why many guys actually want to go into a relationship when they expect heartbreaks or failures despite putting their all into it, or even worse, doling out expenses the Dutch way.

That's hard to visualize for me. My past three relationships ended with me being dumped over something extremely trivial (by my standards). And the fact that my partner was being so bothered by such little things is so repulsive for me. I don't want to live with or marry a girl who threatens a break up over every little thing on a weekly basis. And those three relationships ended up in the woman stalking me after she dumps me and trying to get me to make up to her.

It get's me more angry than anything else lol.

Here's a straight example from last year's winter holidays. My gf and are live a few hundred miles apart. We are both going to Toronto for the holidays. We've been already officially together for almost a year:
Me: I'm really booked and busy this winter holiday, are you free on the 28th? We should spend the entire day together.
Her: Sorry I have plans on that day.
Me: Aw that sucks, that means we only have new years eve and new years together

AFTER the 28th:
Her: Do you not want to see me that much?
Me: What? Of course I wanted to see you.
Her: Well when I told you I'm busy on the 28th, I wasn't. But you didn't seem to care at all or ask me to reschedule.

^ It went to hell from there and we broke up before new years eve. But to me it's like "what the fuck?"
, Honestly, we both have our rights and wrongs. I put her privacy and her life before my own feelings. She wants to feel wanted more and wants me to try harder.

Well it didn't work and my relationships keep ending over these sort of things that make me sit on my toilet for two hours thinking: "you're breaking up with me because of that?". It's hard to feel heartbroken from those kind of things. I'm also not the type who gets drunk from my own testosterone so I doubt I can be heartbroken by a girl that I am not official with.

I'm also surprised I haven't ran into paranoid girls that constantly stalk you and wonder if you're cheating on them. Maybe because they think I'm too fugly to cheat on them
dawww, hey wait a minute.

I enjoy sex-free but fun dates more than relationships as of now. Note that I'm still very young :P

[DonQuigleone]

Originally Posted by Paranoid Android

It get's me more angry than anything else lol.

Here's a straight example from last year's winter holidays. My gf and are live a few hundred miles apart. We are both going to Toronto for the holidays. We've been already officially together for almost a year:
Me: I'm really booked and busy this winter holiday, are you free on the 28th? We should spend the entire day together.
Her: Sorry I have plans on that day.
Me: Aw that sucks, that means we only have new years eve and new years together

AFTER the 28th:
Her: Do you not want to see me that much?
Me: What? Of course I wanted to see you.
Her: Well when I told you I'm busy on the 28th, I wasn't. But you didn't seem to care at all or ask me to reschedule.

^ It went to hell from there and we broke up before new years eve. But to me it's like "what the fuck?"
, Honestly, we both have our rights and wrongs. I put her privacy and her life before my own feelings. She wants to feel wanted more and wants me to try harder.

Wow, talk about trust issues. You were totally right in that circumstance. I mean those kind of games aren't on, particularly if you've been together for almost a year. Maybe in the first few weeks or something but...

[Paranoid Android]

Originally Posted by DonQuigleone

Wow, talk about trust issues. You were totally right in that circumstance. I mean those kind of games aren't on, particularly if you've been together for almost a year. Maybe in the first few weeks or something but...

That's what I thought at the time. But my best friend (female) lectured me saying even if I didn't do anything wrong, I could have been a bit more understanding because it was a long-distance relationship and it's such a rare chance for both of us to be in the same city.

She was particularly lecturing me about how after my ex-gf dumped me, that she tried to make up again. And I turned her down without forgiving her, even if it was clear she realized she made a wrong decision.

But I was really angry that time so I don't see my decision would have changed even with my friend's lecturing. :P
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Before I engage in a relationship, my major concern is always 'will she dump me for another man' (No, doesn't have to be cheating). And I kind of just forget about everything else. Because that condition alone just cuts down the fish population by so much.

[DonQuigleone]

Well you could have forgiven her if she admitted that she was wrong over it...

People can be overly hasty in arguments...

[SaintessHeart]

Originally Posted by DonQuigleone

Well you could have forgiven her if she admitted that she was wrong over it...

People can be overly hasty in arguments...

A guy ALWAYS has to forgive a girl no matter what she has done. That is the rule of society since the ancient times.

If you think that is unfair, think again because as a guy you don't have to have a control rod rammed in between your legs and being commanded by it.

[Mystique]

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

A guy ALWAYS has to forgive a girl no matter what she has done. That is the rule of society since the ancient times.

If you think that is unfair, think again because as a guy you don't have to have a control rod rammed in between your legs and being commanded by it.

On a serious note I could easily despite that.

What a guy has that is deadlier than any sin (lust in your case) is pride.
The worst of the lot and men have done some stupid ass things just for the sake of pride.
Forgiveness isn't one of them. If a man is bowing down to a woman being spiteful and manipulative, he's pussy whipped beyond self respect.

As for 'who', well I can look personally for that, on a general note, it's amazing how many women get thrown out, disowned, discredited or stoned to death for 'transgressions' that she actually doesn't commit...

[Gamer_2k4]

Originally Posted by Paranoid Android

AFTER the 28th:
Her: Do you not want to see me that much?
Me: What? Of course I wanted to see you.
Her: Well when I told you I'm busy on the 28th, I wasn't. But you didn't seem to care at all or ask me to reschedule.

That's just the worst. I had a girlfriend who, after disagreements, would threaten to break up with me. She didn't really want to break up with me, but in her own words, she wanted me to "chase" her. Of course, I went the route of "well that sucks but I'm not going to keep you in a relationship you don't want to be in." That didn't sit well with her.

Eventually, I was sick of it and said, "Either break up with me or stop threatening to do it." That got the job done.

[DonQuigleone]

My words would be "I don't want to be with a girl who would break up with me over such trivial things..."

*or*

"So I guess [insert trivial thing] is more important to you then our relationship then, then I guess you don't think our relationship is worth much..."

If she comes back begging(after feelings have cooled sufficiently) take her back magnaminously, you've made your point.

It's important not to let yourself get "whipped". And anyway, don't women like the confident type who isn't easily controlled?

[Paranoid Android]

Originally Posted by DonQuigleone

And anyway, don't women like the confident type who isn't easily controlled?

Typically yes I think so. But exceptions are made at intervals of 'whenever she wants to'.

Don't take that seriously as something against only women though xD

I hate the break up of a relationship used regularly as threats. It's so demeaning and crude.

[Kafriel]

If a man is bowing down to a woman being spiteful and manipulative, he's pussy whipped beyond self respect.

QFE! Kids, I only have one rule: never let a woman drag you around to do her bidding unless she's hot.

don't women like the confident type who isn't easily controlled?

I think we had a similar discussion a couple of summers ago (or was it last winter?), iirc we concluded that women have a lot of traits...rationality is not one of them. They don't necessarily know what they want, but they know what they don't want, so they try to shape men out of their (subjectively- bad habits, all the while claiming to love people for who they are.

[Gamer_2k4]

Originally Posted by DonQuigleone

It's important not to let yourself get "whipped". And anyway, don't women like the confident type who isn't easily controlled?

"Treat women like dirt and they'll stick to you like mud."

Sad but true.

[Ledgem]

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

Actually, after reading through all of these posts, sometimes I wonder why many guys actually want to go into a relationship when they expect heartbreaks or failures despite putting their all into it, or even worse, doling out expenses the Dutch way.

Do you know the expression "expect the worst, hope for the best"? The people on this forum are, by and large, "nerdy." I'm not necessarily talking about physical appearance - I'm talking about hobbies, social mannerisms, and so on. Society doesn't exactly place people in that category on a pedestal. The glum outlook may partly come from that stereotype that "nerds" aren't desirable and rarely get the girl.

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

Males are supposed to be more rational - and I am a pretty good example; I have so plenty of 2D waifus, and I am very happy to have near-perfect girls like them to love. Plus I don't have to spend much on them too by going out to build relationship points. And when I want another one, all I have to do is the basics of starting a relationship - plan, improvise and execute......no need to waste effort on being introspective, or rather, totally forgetting about that during the relationship.

HAHAHAHAHAHA oh God... you're joking, right? Please, say yes? Are you really trying to say that you're more rational for having chosen fantasy relationships than those of us who pursued the real thing? I'm not judging your choice, but I'm very close to wanting to fight with you over that thought.

Originally Posted by Kafriel

... we concluded that women have a lot of traits...rationality is not one of them. They don't necessarily know what they want, but they know what they don't want, so they try to shape men out of their (subjectively- bad habits, all the while claiming to love people for who they are.

Yeah, because men really know what they want, right? I'll be blunt: what you've written is sexist garbage, and as I man I find it offensive. Humans, in general, regardless of their gender, have no idea what they want. Part of the reason for that is because what they want is always changing, and because we all want what we don't or can't have.

[Gamer_2k4]

Originally Posted by Ledgem

Yeah, because men really know what they want, right? I'll be blunt: what you've written is sexist garbage, and as I man I find it offensive. Humans, in general, regardless of their gender, have no idea what they want. Part of the reason for that is because what they want is always changing, and because we all want what we don't or can't have.

It's a bit surprising to see you complain about this stereotyping when you make a much more egregious generalization in your first paragraph. Regardless, saying "men tend to be more rational than women" is no more sexist than "men tend to be stronger than women." Something isn't sexist if it's true.

Men are more straightforward than women; it's just their personality. Why do you think there's so much conflict in relationships between men and women? It's because each gender sees things differently. That's simply a fact of life, not sexism.

[Ledgem]

Originally Posted by Gamer_2k4

It's a bit surprising to see you complain about this stereotyping when you make a much more egregious generalization in your first paragraph.

Sorry, but you're fulfilling some of your socialization needs by regularly talking to strangers on an internet forum. At the present time, this sort of activity falls outside of society's notion of "normal." Someone who drives 20 MPH above the speed limit might balk at being called a reckless driver, but their actions earn them that classification.

Regardless, you're correct in saying that it's a generalization, and I apologize if it offended you.

Originally Posted by Gamer_2k4

Regardless, saying "men tend to be more rational than women" is no more sexist than "men tend to be stronger than women." Something isn't sexist if it's true.

Men tend to be stronger than women due to hormonal regulation differences. This is a scientifically proven fact. Rationality is subjective. To make a statement about it and pass it off as fact is something that I disagree with.

Originally Posted by Gamer_2k4

Why do you think there's so much conflict in relationships between men and women? It's because each gender sees things differently. That's simply a fact of life, not sexism.

Why do you think there's so much conflict in the world, even though governments tend to be run by men? Because people - that term encompasses both genders - tend to run into conflicts. Or do you have a study proving that homosexual couples tend to fight less than heterosexual couples? If so, I'd be very interested to read it.