Fate/ Series FanFiction Discussion

[Nerroth]

Actually, it was the picctures which came first; initally, I 'just' wanted to echo the Hakumen poses with Drift, but then there was Saber Extra standing there looking all photo-able, and...



Anyway, this is the first of a somewhat more serious fic project I had in mind; a preview of sorts for one of my ongoing longer storylines.

Spoiler for Crystallized Moments:

Hi.


When thinking about a key incident I wanted to type up in part 7 of Crystal Valley, I started to realise that, given the stage at which the combined AMoT/CV story path has gone (far beyond what I had originally intended it to be; yet, still somewhat short compared to where I've wanted to take things once the story started to turn from a one-shot into something else entirely) it was long past the time I did something I might have started things with had I been planning a long-term fic project in the first instance.

This thread is intended to look at a series of key moments prior to the start of A Moment of Truth; which in turn leads into Crystal Valley proper. Given the time period involved (ranging roughly from November 2003 to November 2006, as hinted at in the AMoT provisional timeline) each part will be spaced apart, but still intended to offer (I hope) a sense of the progression taken in the run-up to those events I still want to finish fleshing out once I get Crystal Valley back up and running again.


So, here goes.


(To re-iterate, this work, along with the others in the same timeline, are intended to incorporate the Good ending of the Unlimited Blade Works route from F/SN.)


Part 1


I don't remember all that much from my time in the classroom. While being there took up the bulk of my time during most days, the actual contents of each class, or rather the way in which the conversations there might have gone back and forth, are beyond my recollection.

While, in one sense, it was a relief to be there (something which might have surprised most of the other students present, who were, I guess, had less of a reason to not mind the time spent there) it was never the highlight... or lowest point... of my daily routine.

There are only a few things I can remember; one of them, during a geography lesson (or was it world history? I'm not too sure). Someone in the class made a comment about always getting 'airurando' and 'aisurando' mixed up.

At the time, I didn't think much of it; they both seemed to be quite far away.


------


November 11, 2003


"Look like he's here already."

As Seonac Ó'Conaill stepped out into the roof garden atop the Chester Beatty Library building, he looked over to see the man to whom his current travel companion, Bláthnaid Ní hAodha, was referring.

At the end of the garden, the man had been looking out towards Dublin Castle, which stood to one side of the larger garden at the foot of the building. The viewpoint from the CBL allowed one to see as far as the Castle on one side, and to the old Coach House on the other; the latter converted into a modest, yet respectable venue. There was not overly much to see beyond this from the rooftop vantage point, and even then one had to go to the edge of the garden to look over the short wall at its edge; still, there was always the sky... when it wasn't overcast, at least.

"Ah, Mr. Ó'Conaill, I presume?" the man smiled and waved, as he walked across the garden to greet Seonac and Bláthnaid in person.

For a second, Seonac wanted to look over his shoulder, to see if the man was somehow referring to an elder member of his family. "Seonac is fine, sir; and you are..."

"Oh, of course, sorry," the man stopped himself, just as he literally came to a stop in front of the two arrivals. "I thought Florence here -"

"Bláthnaid," the woman pointed out; somewhat cross at the prospect of explaining her preference towards using the Irish, rather than English, version of her given name.

The man raised a hand in apology. "Sorry, Bláthnaid; I'm still having a bit of trouble trying to get used to Irish Gaelic names. You'd think growing up in Nova Scotia would have helped with that..."

Well, Seonac thought to himself, at least he's not calling me Jonathan. "Wouldn't they have more of that other type of Gaelic, anyway?"

"Scots, yeah, a little," the man replied, "but not so much in Halifax compared to..."

After stopping himself again, he simply offered an outstretched hand. "Micheal mac Coinnich, at your service."

Seonac took the offered hand; the first formal introduction between himself and the man known more commonly as Michael Mackenzie. While Seonac was somewhat relieved at not letting things get too side-tracked during this phase of the conversation (an all too common occurrence when meeting new people, he found) his relative lack of eye contact prevented him from noticing a faint glimpse of not-quite-normal activity in the other man's gaze.

"Did you make it over to Dublin Airport in good time, Mr. mac Coinnich?" Bláthnaid asked. She had been the most recent psychologist to take on Seonac's somewhat unorthodox case over the course of the past two months; what few realised was the nature of some of her less-than-public acquaintances.

"Oh, Mike is fine," he offered, as he moved to shake her hand in turn. "I actually flew in via Belfast; the way the travel itinerary worked out, I ended up taking the Enterprise train down to Connolly Station; then after getting myself acquainted with my hotel, here I am!"

"How did you find the trip down?" wondered Seonac, who had been up to Belfast on occasion.

"Very interesting contrast, I found," Mike offered. "Up there, the roads, footpaths, signage and so on all look a lot more like what you'd see in many parts of Britain; plus it was very hilly terrain, I found. Once I crossed the border, everything got a lot flatter, and here the colour of the tarmac and so forth have a different hue. Very interesting, how those kind of things can affect the way you perceive a place."

Seonac nodded in agreement. He had noticed a palpable difference when being on either side of the border; yet he had never quite been able to put a finger on exactly what he was picking up on. At least, before any of the locals on either side started talking.

"And, of course, I saw a lot more people wearing something like this, too," he added, pointing to the red-and-black poppy he was wearing.

"For Remembrance Day?" Bláthnaid asked. She wasn't too accustomed to seeing many locals in Dublin wear one; though the ones she did see on occasion looked somewhat different.

"Yep," Mike nodded, "though this one is from the Royal Canadian Legion, not the British one. I can get then at the High Commission while I'm in London; I guess the embassy here would have something similar, too. In fact:"

At this, he opened his wallet and produced something neither Bláthnaid nor Seonac had seen before; a 10-dollar Canadian note. "They started printing these a few years back. They have the poppy on the back there, along with a quote in English and French from old Sir John McCrae himself. Oh, and a blue beret taking a peek at the Peace Tower in Ottawa; to show the peacekeeping aspect of the day for those Canadians with a mind not to forget."

Seonac held the note in his hand, almost getting himself used to the idea of money with a person's face on the front (in this case, Sir John A. Macdonald, the first Prime Minister of Canada); the euro notes in his own wallet had more abstract buildings and bridges on them.

"Anyway," Mike said, before he got too far down this side track. "I don't suppose we're here to talk about roads and stop signs. Maybe we could take a seat out here and get things going?"

After handing back the note, Seonac walked over with Mike and Bláthnaid to a pair of adjacent benches to one side of the garden; Bláthnaid sitting to one side of Seonac on the first bench, while Mike took a seat on the next one over, turning to face the other two.

After they sat down, Seonac paused to try and collect his thoughts for a moment; he noticed that for some reason, they felt more at ease than they had been in a while. "So, I'm told that you are a specialist, and that you may be able to help me?"

Mike couldn't help but smile at that. So, she really hasn't told you, he thought to himself. Well, I can't leave that un-addressed much longer. "I might, depending on what it is you want to do going forward; but before we deal with anything else, there is one question I need to ask you."

To emphasise the point, he looked straight over to the younger Irishman, before he asked simply:

"Can you hear voices in your head?"

Seonac gasped in response, shocked both at the manner of question, and the way in which he had 'heard' it. Mike had not opened his mouth to speak, yet Seonac heard it as clear as day.

"I thought as much," Mike said, not needing to hear an answer to know the message had gotten across.

Bláthnaid, for the first time, revealed a card from her own proverbial deck, in terms of knowledge of the supernatural. "I wish it hadn't taken this long to nail it down, but I'm glad my guess was accurate."

"Guess?" Seonac replied, still coming to terms with the turn of events. "You... I... I mean, I hadn't said anything... I thought I..."

"Was going mad?" Mike stepped in, offering a more conciliatory tone. "I'm sorry it wasn't something you were prepared for, but yes, it's true; you have a gift, and a pretty rare one at that."

Seonac found himself wondering just how grateful he was supposed to be for this 'gift' Mike spoke of. "In other words..."

"In other words, Seonac," Bláthnaid responded: "You're a magus, and a telepathic one at that."

A magus... He was no more prepared to hear that his less-fearful thoughts in the wake of that terrible day in September were justified than he had been when his mind's eye had been pried open on his sixteenth birthday. And yet, a part of him found a degree of currency when taking the term 'magus' on board.

Magus... Magus... Magus...

"I am a magus." He said the words aloud; and strangely enough, the words seemed to fit.

"For the sake of disclosure, I am also a magus," Bláthnaid spoke to reassure him. "Although, my specialty is more to do with alchemy than the stuff you have going on in your mind."

Mike took his offered cue. "I, on the other hand, am another teep, like you. We aren't that common, so those of us who are more established try to help out those magi who do manifest the talent."

Seonac paused to consider this; though perhaps more out of a wish to channel the dozens of questions bombarding the inner walls of his mind at the revelation than the need to process what had already been said. "There are more of us; more magi, and more telepaths, I mean?"

"Yes and yes, though many more of the one than the other," Mike replied. "We are each part of a group known as the Mage's Association; I'm typically based in a branch of the Clock Tower, near the site of the British Museum over in London, while Bláthnaid is affiliated with Atlas, based down in Egypt."

Neither Mike nor Bláthnaid rushed to mention the often troubled set of relations between these two nominally-associated Great Branches of the Association; neither felt the need to go too deeply into the politics of thaumaturgy too quickly.

"Ordinarily, we might have tried to look after you ourselves," Bláthnaid tried to explain, "but given your manifestations, I felt it best to call in someone with a specialty closer to yours; especially since you're a first-gen."

"First-gen?" Seonac wondered, surprised to hear his condidition described in such terms.

"Yeah, a lot of magus families go back several generations," Mike added. "That makes it easier for a parent to pass on their knowledge, experience and training from one generation to the next. For example, both my brother David and I are magi, and teeps to boot; though I was the one to get this."

'This' was deomonstrated as Mike lifted up his left forearm, calling forth the embedded runes of his Magic Crest. Seonac was astonished by their aethyric glow, but immediately found himself wondering about the wisdom of such a spectacle in this place. "Um... is it a good idea to be doing that here?"

Mike smiled again. "Oh, we're fine; there are a few tricks of the trade I can teach you... depending on..."

"Depending on?" Seonac asked.

Mike looked over to Bláthnaid for a moment, then back to Seonac himself. "Depending on what choice you make."

Bláthnaid understood what Mike was referring to; though she had not dealt with first-gens enough to feel overly comfortable with offering the choice herself. Still, she felt bound by her sense of responsibility towards the youth to play her role, if she needed to.

"If you were in an established family, the choice would probably have already been made for you," Mike went on, "but since you are a newly-emergent magus, and a late bloomer at that, you have a choice."

"Most magi manifest their talents at a much younger age," Bláthnaid added, "or at least are trained in the family business long before they even hit pubescence."

"Oh, so no pressure, then," Seonac sighed. It was bad enough for him to feel behind the curve socially compared to most of his peers; perhaps a consequence of his having Asperger Syndrome (which Bláthanid herself had recently diagnosed), though not something he liked hiding behind a condition to explain. The thought of being adrift in this new world couldn't help but leave a sinking feeling in its wake.

"Don't worry about it lad," Mike offered. "One way or another, you'll have to take things at your own pace, anyway."

"Okay..." Seonac replied, unsure what to make of that reassurance.

"If you want, Bláthnaid and I can try to seal your powers in," Mike moved on to the nub of the present matter. "You'll forget what happened here today, and assuming we can get a handle on things without too much trouble, you can try to go on and live your life as a normal human being."

"Or as close to one as I'd ever be, I guess," Seonac half-countered. "You don't sound too confident you'll be able to stop it, though."

"Not a hundred percent safely," Bláthnaid pointed out. "Plus, even if you don't know you have sorcerous potential, there are other who might be able to find out; not all of them are as accommodating as we would be towards your well-being."

"Yeah, there is that," Mike sighed, the remark hitting close to home. "There are some in the more estranged part of my own family who wouldn't lift a finger to help if... Well, it's not like there aren't risks of a purely mundane nature in life, too."

"And if I don't take the blue pill?" Seonac asked, not quite picturing the fair-skinned Mike in the role of a real-life Morpheus.

"Then you have a chance to do something more with your life." Mike tried to sound as even-handed with the offer as he was technically supposed to, but it was palpably clear which option he preferred Seonac take.

"Look, I'm not sticking to the script on this one," he went on, "but, seriously, lad; take this on. I know it might sound daunting to step into the brave new world right now, but you won't be going in alone. You have a power that few in the world ever even imagine having; and are part of a pretty cool subset, at that."

"So you say," Bláthnaid quipped, not able to hold back on a little dig at the Nova Scotian's expense.

"So I say!" Mike countered defiantly. "And so should you, Seonac."

It was a lot to ask. Only moments after discovering the first pieces of the puzzle regarding his inner nature, with only a light sprinkling of information about the kind of life which might await him were he to accept this challenge; it would have been all too easy to hesitate, or hold back. However, in Seonac's mind, he couldn't help but feel that even if his mind had never opened itself the way it had, he would never find the kind of opportunity to make something of his life in the 'mundane' world.

Well, maybe I'm being too hard on myself with that, he thought, but then self-confidence hasn't quite been my strong point.

Still, before he could make a decision, he had to ask one more thing. "If I say yes, what can I tell my family? I mean, I'm guessing the Association you speak of doesn't take too kindly to publicity."

"No, it really doesn't," Mike admitted, "but there are members of magus families who have no sorcerous ability. Some of them marry into the family, while others are from a generation which, for whatever reason, has seen their potential dry up."

Bláthnaid had thought of this already, since she already knew Seonac's parents. "Since you are technically founding your own magus lineage with this, you would, in principle, be in a position to entrust the truth with those among your blood lineage that you see fit. If you want to keep it from them, you are entitled to do so; but I won't tell on you if you want to disclose in private."

"Neither will I," Mike promised, with his hand up in the air to emphasise the point.

Taking in their clarification, Seonac took a deep breath. When he exhaled, he looked around at the rock garden surrounding him. For some unspecified reason, he seemed to feel more aware of it than he had been hitherto; as if looking at the setting for the first time.

It was this kind of clarity, of inner calm, which he had craved during his recent ordeal.

Throwing it away was out of the question.

He stood up, taking a couple of steps into the rock garden before turning back to both Mike and Bláthnaid.

His relaxed smile, his look of fresh confidence, the faint glimmer of hope in his emerald-green eyes; they showed only one conclusion.

"I'm in."

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by Arbitres

.... I can't stop laughing at this, it's not I'mt rying to antagonize/patronize, but I find the "A love story as Saber dutifully searches for her perfect chariot."...

Well, Saber has already found her sheath, all she needs now is her perfect chariot.

Yes I know the Saber in the story is different from Saber in the VN, I couldn't resist the joke.

[Nerroth]

The next part of CM.

Spoiler for Crystallized Moments, Part 2:

Part 2


She was so beautiful.

When she emerged out of the void in the midst of the summoning circle, I could not help but feel taken aback at how...

...how even now, I am left struggling to find the words to describe her.

We had never met before; I had no reason to call her friend, or family, or even associate.

Yet, when she stepped forth into this era of existence, I immeditately felt a sense of deep kinship with her; as if she bore a tragedy which had somehow compelled her to reach out to me.

I wonder, then; did she already know?

As the others in the room looked upon her covetously, was she taken by surprise, or was she already aware...

...that I, her Master...

...was going to betray her?


------


January 29, 2004


"Getting the hang of things, lad?"

Mike looked in to the study room where Seonac was standing, the latter's hand tracing an intricate mandala upon a wall with his left hand. As he did so, he held up a small amulet with an elaborate cartouche carved upon it; its faint glow of energy providing the catalyst for activation which he, as yet, could not.

Seonac remained focussed on the last part of his present task; whispering the memorised incantation as he completed the hidden mandala forming as much within his own mind, as it was upon the physical surface before him.

He exhaled carefully as the chant was completed, before opening his eyes and turning to his mentor. "Sorry, you were saying?"

Mike gave a sort of half-smile half-shrug, which Seonac saw often when he was trying to convey his thoughts on something both promising and troubling. "Well, I am glad you are getting the hang of that little trick; still, once you master it, you will have to learn how to keep your wits about you while using it."

"Easy for you to say," Seonac sighed. It had taken long enough to get this far, with this one spell... that wasn't even his own. "I just wish I didn't need these to make the thing work."

"Hey, don't knock the style of our Atlas colleagues," Mike reminded him. "If it wasn't for their ways of doing things, you'd -"

At that, he had to stop himself, before he said something to reinforce the sense of trouble his current protégé had with his own gifts... or lack thereof.

"Be able to do nothing at all, despite all of this supposed potential you say I've got?" Seonac replied sharply, reaching that conclusion all the same. "I'm sorry I'm having to rely on a trick which I can't use any of my own prana supply for, since I'm..."

His mood lowered a little, the amulet resting somewhat more loosely in his hand.

"I'm sorry, lad", Mike offered in response. "I wish I knew what was going on, I really do. But even so, until we figure things out, having Bláthnaid's gifts on hand are at least something."

"You're right..." Still holding the amulet in his hand, Seonac reached for the other amulet he had on his person; integrated into his wrist watch, or rather his impromptu pocket watch, since he wasn't actually wearing it on his wrist.

"Especially with that one," Mike pointed to the watch-bound sigil. "You'll need it, and the spares you have lying around, to make sure you don't get unwanted attention in the interim."

The amulet and spares in question were designed to shield Seonac's true level of sorcerous potential; a means of mitigating the dangers of being an Average One who couldn't use their own potential... yet could still be at risk of having their reserves poached by a less-than-friendly other.

"Well, so you say, but right now I'm finding these to be of more use." He referred to the one he had used while creating the wall-mandala; they were designed to work in tandem with the mental training Mike had offered, as a means of 'mind-proofing' a room from stray neural impulses emanating beyond it. In truth, the skill was as much a means of allowing the user to envision such a barrier in their own internal mental space, as it was to literally create a physical barrier beyond it; in any case, the cumulative effect was a positive one.

"You might be able to relax in here while they are up, lad," Mike pointed out, "but even if you make sure to manage the upkeep properly, don't get too reliant on them."

Seonac sighed again. "I know, I know."

"Anyway," Mike then said, "I didn't come here to rain on your parade. I'm actually here..."

He dragged a box he had resting on the floor outside of the room and handed it over to the younger magus. "...to give you these."

Seonac took the box, and was surprised to see what was inside it. "Is this all..."

"Yep," Mike replied cheerfully. "That's the two hardback volumes of Canada: A People's History, along with the four DVD box sets; oh, and there should be a soundtrack CD in the box for volume 3. I hope you don't mind, but I opened one of the boxes already to make sure the disc works here in Region 2; you'll be glad to know it does."

The series in question had been a rare joint commission between the English-language Canadian Broadcasting Corporation and the francophone Société Radio-Canada; an effort to jointly tell their version of the intricate story of the country from prehistory to the dawn of the 1990s. Mike had been a fan of it from its very first airing, and hoped he could pass on some degree of enthusiasm for the place through this gift.

But then, there was another aspect to this occasion which was less positive.

"This is a lot to give, thank you," Seonac replied, "but my birthday's in September, it's a bit late for Christmas, and I'm not quite sure how I'd feel about things if it's supposed to be an early V-"

"Sigh," Mike stepped in quickly. "Trust me, lad; I'm quite sure about how neither you nor I would want that particular interpretation of things!"

Seonac game a mock sigh of relief. Of course he didn't need to be told, but the occasion seemed to call for the joke in any case. "Just as well... but there's still the issue of what this is in aid of."

"Ah, well." Mike didn't particularly look forward to this next part, but it had to be said. "I suppose you could think of it... as a going-away present."

Seonac stopped for a second. "You're leaving Ireland?"

Mike nodded. "Yeah. Waver's got something for me; some sort of new assignment. Not sure what he has in mind just yet, but I'll find out when I get there."

Seonac remained silent for a few moments. He knew it was only a matter of time before Mike was called upon to look after other matters; there were other emergents he would have to check in on, after all. Still, he couldn't help but feel unprepared for the departure.

"I understand," he said, at length. "I'm glad for the time you have been able to spend here, helping me get up and running. All the same, I... I'm not sure I'm ready to get by on my own."

"I would be, lad," Mike affirmed. "Even leaving aside the somewhat minor point of order in that Bláthnaid will still be around to look after you, I think you've already got the building blocks in hand to get as far as you need to go before you get over to us in London."

Seonac still had to graduate first, but he was already aware that the Clock Tower beckoned; he hoped the likes of the Waver person Mike seemed to work with there could help find answers... or at least help him get by if none could be found. "Will you be over again before I'm ready to fly in?"

"I'll do what I can," Mike said in reply, "but I can't speak for what's going to happen once I leave."

"Well, that's a reassuring thought," Seonac sighed. The dangers of life as a magus already seemed all too uncomfortable a set of prospects.

"Look," Mike pointed out, "there are still plenty of 'mundane' problems to be faced with, even without the things we deal with in our line of work. You just have to do what you can, try to keep your wits sharp, and hope you can make a difference."

While these lessons were important to take on, Seonac was more concerned with what kind of fate his mentor might run into. "Are you going to be alright, Mike?"

After a pause, Mike simply said: "Time will tell, Seonac. Time will tell."

[RadiantBeam]

So... once again played through HF and I was bitten by a bunny. Plus, I need to do something to keep my mind busy while I try to work out some kinks of continuing A Change in Fate, so here we go with a new fic!

Spoiler for Into The Rain: As A Result of Bad Planning:

Into The Rain

Chapter 1: As A Result of Bad Planning

The instant Tohsaka Rin burst out of the church doors and into the rain, she knew she’d made two major mistakes.

One, she didn’t have an umbrella. The rain was coming down hard, and was as cold as ice. At this rate, she’d be soaked to the bone within a minute or two, perhaps even less.

Two, despite how she had spoken to Shirou, she had absolutely no plan for actually killing Sakura. It hadn’t occurred to her that events could transpire this quickly, or that Sakura’s condition would worsen this fast. She had a knife on her at the moment, but that was it.

It’ll do.

Water splashed up from puddles she ran through and drenched her legs and skirt completely, sending a harsh chill through her body from the bottom up, but the heir of Tohsaka paid it no mind. She needed to think; where would Sakura go? The purple-haired girl had heard everything she and Shirou had said (and if it was truly because of some kind of structural defect in the church, she would eat her dagger), which meant that she knew how both of them stood on the issue. It made sense, then, to assume that if Sakura was running, she would run somewhere she felt safe.

It all clicked into place then. Shirou’s house. If there was one place Sakura had ever truly felt safe, it was at her Senpai’s house. Skidding sharply and pivoting on her heel, Rin shot away from her previous direction and headed back towards Shirou’s home. If anything, she could stay there and wait until they both returned home; she knew that right about now, the boy was probably out in the rain looking for Sakura just as she was. It would kill two birds with one stone, easily.

She was amazed she didn’t slip as she ran, practically a red blur of movement through the rain as she finally reached the bridge; at the speed she was going, she should have fallen and at least broken her leg by now. So fast did she run and so determined was she to reach the other side of the bridge that it was only by chance that she saw a flash of purple out of the corner of her eye. She stumbled and halted, panting, as she peered over the rail to the park below.

“… Sakura.”

Why was she at the park? How long had she been standing there, doing nothing? Even from up on the bridge, Rin could see her sister was completely soaked by the cold rain. Why hadn’t she gone back to Shirou’s house? She had to have known she would be an easy target standing out in the open, in an area like this.

One shot. Right from here. She won’t even know what hit her.

Shaking the thought from her head, Rin headed to the other side of the bridge. After a moment’s hesitation, she walked down to the park.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXX

“Sakura.”

She called to her as if greeting her as they passed each other by in the hallway; Sakura flinched, her fingers tightening against her skirt, before she slowly lifted her eyes, meeting Rin’s calm, emotionless blue gaze. “Tohsaka-senpai,” she whispered back, and hated herself for trembling.

Briefly, she wondered how long Rin had been out in the rain; the girl looked as soaked as she was.

“You know why I’m here, right?” The older girl spoke softly, gently, as if speaking to a cornered animal. In some ways, she probably was. From behind her back, tucked under her shirt, she pulled her knife free. Even in the icy rain, the blade gleamed faintly.

Sakura swallowed hard and nodded, wrapping her arms tightly around herself. It was no secret why Rin was looking for her; she’d known from the moment she’d fled the church that if her sister found her, it would be all over. And even if she hadn’t known that, the fact that the older girl had a knife with her spoke volumes about her intentions. Her nails dug almost painfully into her arms, easily piercing through the material of her school uniform to the skin below. “May I… make a request?” she asked, her voice just as soft as Rin’s.

Rin hesitated, then nodded. She owed Sakura that much, at least. “Go ahead.”

The younger girl smiled, looking completely at peace with what was about to happen. “Please be as painless as possible, Nee-san.” Her voice cracked, trembled, and strengthened again. “I don’t like being hurt.”

Content that at the very least Rin was kind enough to grant her this one small wish, Sakura sighed softly and closed her eyes. She didn’t want to see her own sister move to kill her, and the darkness of her closed eyelids was soothing.

And she waited for death to come.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXX

She called me Nee-san.

Rin was frozen; her fingers tightened almost painfully around the hilt of the knife, but she couldn’t force the muscles in her legs to move. She knew now was the best chance she had of killing Sakura; now, when they were alone and Sakura was completely unarmed, even willing to die. So why wasn’t she killing her?

She called me Nee-san.

She forced herself to move, feeling completely numb from the inside out; the sound of falling rain was practically a roar in her throbbing brain. But even as she moved, she knew she wasn’t running; she was only taking a step, one at a time, simply walking. It only took her seconds to cross the distance and stand in front of Sakura, but those same seconds seemed to stretch on for an eternity.

At this distance, she had two ways of killing Sakura: slitting her throat, or stabbing her in the chest. If done right, both deaths would be quick and painless, just as her sister had requested. It was simply a matter of deciding which area she wanted to attack. Her arm lifted, almost with her even being aware that she had given it the command to move; the blade pressed against Sakura’s throat.

The younger girl inhaled sharply, trembled, then went still. She never even opened her eyes. The blade only pressed lightly against her skin, but it was enough to open a small cut so that a thin red stream of blood flowed down her neck.

It would be so easy to cut her.

You said you would kill her.

Why wasn’t she cutting her?

You said it’s the only way. There’s no other way to save her. So kill her now.

Her hand trembled; her fingers loosened around the hilt of the knife.

Kill her.

She gritted her teeth and closed her eyes tightly; her fingers once more tightened around the hilt.

“… For the record, Sakura…”

She took a deep breath.

“For what it’s worth, I really wanted Emiya-kun to find you first.”

Now kill her.

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Sakura waited. She could feel the knife against her skin, and knew death was near; when she heard Rin’s words, she had to resist the urge to smile. At the very least, her sister would keep her promise.

She waited, but nothing happened. Several seconds passed before…

“Son of a bitch!”

She heard the clatter of the knife against the brick road; startled, she opened her eyes just in time to see Rin swear and fire several Gandr shots at the knife as if it had wronged her in some way, lighting up the whole area with purple light. By the time the girl had finished taking out her fury, the knife and its hilt had been shattered into tiny little pieces.

Sakura blinked, uncertain as to what had just happened; she lifted a hand, gently pressing her fingers against the cut. Her blood felt warm. “Nee-san?” she asked uncertainly.

Positively glowering, Rin lowered her hand; a second later, she aimed that glare at Sakura. The girl squeaked.

“U-um, Nee-san…. Weren’t you going to kill me?”

Rin simply glared and said nothing. She was trembling all over, like Sakura, only not from the cold.

When she still didn’t respond, Sakura kept talking. “Nee-san, you have to kill me. You already know, don’t you? I’m going to become a threat.” A note of desperation entered her voice. “That’s why you have to kill me. You’re the moderator of Fuyuki, right? It’s your duty to kill me!” She couldn’t understand why Rin had stopped, and it was panicking her. “I’m going to kill people, Nee-san! I’ve already done so many bad things! I hid the truth of who I was from Senpai, then I tried to suck out your magical energy—“

“If you’re so eager to die, then kill yourself,” Rin shot back bluntly, silencing Sakura with how icy her words were. “Otherwise, you can stay here in the rain and wait for Emiya-kun to find you and take you back to his house.” She turned away, running a hand through her hair to hide her trembling fingers. “Sorry, Sakura. I’m not in the mood to kill you right now.”

“…. Nee-san…”

Sakura didn’t understand. Why did Rin have to be in a mood to kill her? She knew just as well as her sister did that this was her best chance. Mood had nothing to do with it. So why?

Why won’t she kill me?

Rin was silent for a moment; she sighed. Her breath was bright white in the cold rain, a stark contrast to how dark the park currently was. “I’m going home,” she said at last. “I’m not sticking around to see Emiya-kun gloat because I couldn’t go through with my threat.”

Sakura didn’t know how to respond.

Rin glanced at her, then sighed again, lifting a hand and catching Sakura’s attention. “As I said before, you can stay here and wait. I’m sure he’ll come by here eventually and take you home.” She paused. “If you don’t want to stay out in the rain, you’re free to come back to my house. I swear on my honor as a Tohsaka that I won’t kill you.” With that, she started to walk.

There was a long moment of silence, broken only by the sound of the rain; and then, she heard the soft, uncertain sound of footsteps following her, trailing behind at an established distance. Because Sakura couldn’t see her face, she smiled slightly.

After all that, and you still trust me.

They walked the rest of the way back to the Tohsaka mansion in silence. Rin never looked back, and Sakura never reached forward.

Really... I didn't plan this out very well at all.

....

Not much to really say, so hit me with any and all comments.

[Moczo]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

So... once again played through HF and I was bitten by a bunny. Plus, I need to do something to keep my mind busy while I try to work out some kinks of continuing A Change in Fate, so here we go with a new fic!

Spoiler for Into The Rain: As A Result of Bad Planning:

Into The Rain

Chapter 1: As A Result of Bad Planning

The instant Tohsaka Rin burst out of the church doors and into the rain, she knew she’d made two major mistakes.

One, she didn’t have an umbrella. The rain was coming down hard, and was as cold as ice. At this rate, she’d be soaked to the bone within a minute or two, perhaps even less.

Two, despite how she had spoken to Shirou, she had absolutely no plan for actually killing Sakura. It hadn’t occurred to her that events could transpire this quickly, or that Sakura’s condition would worsen this fast. She had a knife on her at the moment, but that was it.

It’ll do.

Water splashed up from puddles she ran through and drenched her legs and skirt completely, sending a harsh chill through her body from the bottom up, but the heir of Tohsaka paid it no mind. She needed to think; where would Sakura go? The purple-haired girl had heard everything she and Shirou had said (and if it was truly because of some kind of structural defect in the church, she would eat her dagger), which meant that she knew how both of them stood on the issue. It made sense, then, to assume that if Sakura was running, she would run somewhere she felt safe.

It all clicked into place then. Shirou’s house. If there was one place Sakura had ever truly felt safe, it was at her Senpai’s house. Skidding sharply and pivoting on her heel, Rin shot away from her previous direction and headed back towards Shirou’s home. If anything, she could stay there and wait until they both returned home; she knew that right about now, the boy was probably out in the rain looking for Sakura just as she was. It would kill two birds with one stone, easily.

She was amazed she didn’t slip as she ran, practically a red blur of movement through the rain as she finally reached the bridge; at the speed she was going, she should have fallen and at least broken her leg by now. So fast did she run and so determined was she to reach the other side of the bridge that it was only by chance that she saw a flash of purple out of the corner of her eye. She stumbled and halted, panting, as she peered over the rail to the park below.

“… Sakura.”

Why was she at the park? How long had she been standing there, doing nothing? Even from up on the bridge, Rin could see her sister was completely soaked by the cold rain. Why hadn’t she gone back to Shirou’s house? She had to have known she would be an easy target standing out in the open, in an area like this.

One shot. Right from here. She won’t even know what hit her.

Shaking the thought from her head, Rin headed to the other side of the bridge. After a moment’s hesitation, she walked down to the park.

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“Sakura.”

She called to her as if greeting her as they passed each other by in the hallway; Sakura flinched, her fingers tightening against her skirt, before she slowly lifted her eyes, meeting Rin’s calm, emotionless blue gaze. “Tohsaka-senpai,” she whispered back, and hated herself for trembling.

Briefly, she wondered how long Rin had been out in the rain; the girl looked as soaked as she was.

“You know why I’m here, right?” The older girl spoke softly, gently, as if speaking to a cornered animal. In some ways, she probably was. From behind her back, tucked under her shirt, she pulled her knife free. Even in the icy rain, the blade gleamed faintly.

Sakura swallowed hard and nodded, wrapping her arms tightly around herself. It was no secret why Rin was looking for her; she’d known from the moment she’d fled the church that if her sister found her, it would be all over. And even if she hadn’t known that, the fact that the older girl had a knife with her spoke volumes about her intentions. Her nails dug almost painfully into her arms, easily piercing through the material of her school uniform to the skin below. “May I… make a request?” she asked, her voice just as soft as Rin’s.

Rin hesitated, then nodded. She owed Sakura that much, at least. “Go ahead.”

The younger girl smiled, looking completely at peace with what was about to happen. “Please be as painless as possible, Nee-san.” Her voice cracked, trembled, and strengthened again. “I don’t like being hurt.”

Content that at the very least Rin was kind enough to grant her this one small wish, Sakura sighed softly and closed her eyes. She didn’t want to see her own sister move to kill her, and the darkness of her closed eyelids was soothing.

And she waited for death to come.

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She called me Nee-san.

Rin was frozen; her fingers tightened almost painfully around the hilt of the knife, but she couldn’t force the muscles in her legs to move. She knew now was the best chance she had of killing Sakura; now, when they were alone and Sakura was completely unarmed, even willing to die. So why wasn’t she killing her?

She called me Nee-san.

She forced herself to move, feeling completely numb from the inside out; the sound of falling rain was practically a roar in her throbbing brain. But even as she moved, she knew she wasn’t running; she was only taking a step, one at a time, simply walking. It only took her seconds to cross the distance and stand in front of Sakura, but those same seconds seemed to stretch on for an eternity.

At this distance, she had two ways of killing Sakura: slitting her throat, or stabbing her in the chest. If done right, both deaths would be quick and painless, just as her sister had requested. It was simply a matter of deciding which area she wanted to attack. Her arm lifted, almost with her even being aware that she had given it the command to move; the blade pressed against Sakura’s throat.

The younger girl inhaled sharply, trembled, then went still. She never even opened her eyes. The blade only pressed lightly against her skin, but it was enough to open a small cut so that a thin red stream of blood flowed down her neck.

It would be so easy to cut her.

You said you would kill her.

Why wasn’t she cutting her?

You said it’s the only way. There’s no other way to save her. So kill her now.

Her hand trembled; her fingers loosened around the hilt of the knife.

Kill her.

She gritted her teeth and closed her eyes tightly; her fingers once more tightened around the hilt.

“… For the record, Sakura…”

She took a deep breath.

“For what it’s worth, I really wanted Emiya-kun to find you first.”

Now kill her.

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Sakura waited. She could feel the knife against her skin, and knew death was near; when she heard Rin’s words, she had to resist the urge to smile. At the very least, her sister would keep her promise.

She waited, but nothing happened. Several seconds passed before…

“Son of a bitch!”

She heard the clatter of the knife against the brick road; startled, she opened her eyes just in time to see Rin swear and fire several Gandr shots at the knife as if it had wronged her in some way, lighting up the whole area with purple light. By the time the girl had finished taking out her fury, the knife and its hilt had been shattered into tiny little pieces.

Sakura blinked, uncertain as to what had just happened; she lifted a hand, gently pressing her fingers against the cut. Her blood felt warm. “Nee-san?” she asked uncertainly.

Positively glowering, Rin lowered her hand; a second later, she aimed that glare at Sakura. The girl squeaked.

“U-um, Nee-san…. Weren’t you going to kill me?”

Rin simply glared and said nothing. She was trembling all over, like Sakura, only not from the cold.

When she still didn’t respond, Sakura kept talking. “Nee-san, you have to kill me. You already know, don’t you? I’m going to become a threat.” A note of desperation entered her voice. “That’s why you have to kill me. You’re the moderator of Fuyuki, right? It’s your duty to kill me!” She couldn’t understand why Rin had stopped, and it was panicking her. “I’m going to kill people, Nee-san! I’ve already done so many bad things! I hid the truth of who I was from Senpai, then I tried to suck out your magical energy—“

“If you’re so eager to die, then kill yourself,” Rin shot back bluntly, silencing Sakura with how icy her words were. “Otherwise, you can stay here in the rain and wait for Emiya-kun to find you and take you back to his house.” She turned away, running a hand through her hair to hide her trembling fingers. “Sorry, Sakura. I’m not in the mood to kill you right now.”

“…. Nee-san…”

Sakura didn’t understand. Why did Rin have to be in a mood to kill her? She knew just as well as her sister did that this was her best chance. Mood had nothing to do with it. So why?

Why won’t she kill me?

Rin was silent for a moment; she sighed. Her breathe was bright white in the cold rain, a stark contrast to how dark the park currently was. “I’m going home,” she said at last. “I’m not sticking around to see Emiya-kun gloat because I couldn’t go through with my threat.”

Sakura didn’t know how to respond.

Rin glanced at her, then sighed again, lifting a hand and catching Sakura’s attention. “As I said before, you can stay here and wait. I’m sure he’ll come by here eventually and take you home.” She paused. “If you don’t want to stay out in the rain, you’re free to come back to my house. I swear on my honor as a Tohsaka that I won’t kill you.” With that, she started to walk.

There was a long moment of silence, broken only by the sound of the rain; and then, she heard the soft, uncertain sound of footsteps following her, trailing behind at an established distance. Because Sakura couldn’t see her face, she smiled slightly.

After all that, and you still trust me.

They walked the rest of the way back to the Tohsaka mansion in silence. Rin never looked back, and Sakura never reached forward.

Really... I didn't plan this out very well at all.

....

Not much to really say, so hit me with any and all comments.

Not much to say either, other than... well, 'cute'. I like it, and I think you've got both of the girls down pat, honestly. Sakura is believable, particularly considering her mental state at the time the story is set, and Rin... yeah, Rin talks big, but we know she's a fluffy bunny at heart. Nice beginning.

[Cherry_Lover]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

Not much to really say, so hit me with any and all comments.

I think "Awww..." about covers it....

But, yeah, Mozco is entirely right here. For all Rin's tough talk, she is no more likely (in my view) to be able to kill Sakura if she's given the time to actually think about it than Shirou was. Hell, she shows as much at the end of HF. And, yeah, Sakura begging to be killed is entirely plausible, given her mental state at that point.

I do wonder where it'll go from here, though. Presumably Shirou is going to be running around Fuyuki like a headless chicken for some time, because I suspect that where she's going is just about the last place that he'll think to look....

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by Cherry_Lover

Presumably Shirou is going to be running around Fuyuki like a headless chicken for some time, because I suspect that where she's going is just about the last place that he'll think to look....

Well, next chapter I was going to have Rin call him to let him know that Sakura was fine and no, she didn't kill her, mostly because I figured at some point Shirou would be too cold and wet and tired to keep looking for Sakura, and he might head home thinking she's already there.

Or she could just send Archer to tell him. That could be fun too.

[Cherry_Lover]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

Well, next chapter I was going to have Rin call him to let him know that Sakura was fine and no, she didn't kill her, mostly because I figured at some point Shirou would be too cold and wet and tired to keep looking for Sakura, and he might head home thinking she's already there.

You forget who you're talking about here....

Whilst he might well decide to check his own house, eventually, if she's not there he'd likely head right back out and keep searching.

Or she could just send Archer to tell him. That could be fun too.

Yeah, lol. I can see that going very well....

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by Cherry_Lover

Yeah, lol. I can see that going very well....

Using Archer is more fun, and you're right, this is Shirou we're talking about. He wouldn't wait long enough for Rin to call him.

[Altima of the Gates]

Yeah, she'd have to send Archer to fetch him, because he'd just keep running. Tired? Mr. "I run from my house to the church without a break" would keep running till he collapsed.



Map of Fuyuki.

That's a long freaking way. Also, how many tsundere points did Rin just gain from that exchange?

[RadiantBeam]

So I should be working on my math homework, but no, I had the idea for this and couldn't quit until I'd finished it. Ugh. I hate plotbunnies sometimes.

Spoiler for Into the Rain: The Contradiction of Tohsaka Rin:

Chapter 2: The Contradiction of Tohsaka Rin

Reaching the door of her house, it crossed Rin’s mind then that even though she had found Sakura, Shirou hadn’t; and as a result, he was probably still looking for her. She paused, her fingers gently clasping the knob. Maybe he was smart, and would go home when he got too cold and wet to keep looking…?

Remember who we’re talking about, here.

She groaned, gently thumping her head against the door before she spoke. “Archer.”

Her Servant materialized at her side instantly, making Sakura jolt and back up a few steps. “Yes?”

“Track down Emiya-kun, would you? Let him know Sakura’s safe and spending the night with me so he doesn’t look for her until the crack of dawn. If he has any questions, tell him he can come by the mansion in the morning for breakfast.”

Archer grumbled at this, but she felt his presence fade from her side and knew he had obeyed her order, as he always did; even if he didn’t agree with it personally. Sighing, she lifted her forehead from the door, unlocked it, and pushed it open, stepping inside. She paused when she realized Sakura wasn’t coming and turned, looking at her. “Are you coming?” she called into the rain.

Sakura hesitated and bit her lip; taking a deep breath, she hastily hurried up the stairs before she gave herself time to think, entering the house she hadn’t set foot in for almost eleven years.

The door closed behind them with a soft click.

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Shirou ran.

He’d looked everywhere he could think of; the park, the train station, even around school. Sakura was nowhere to be found. Desperation and exhaustion had driven him back to his house in the vain hope that perhaps she had returned and would be sipping tea in the living room, but when he saw it was dark and empty he immediately headed back outside.

Where is she?

He tried to ignore the possible truth that Rin had found her before he had and had already killed her, possibly disposing of the body. Not only was it simply far too painful to consider, but he still believed that for her words and actions, Rin didn’t have it in her to kill Sakura. They were sisters, after all; sisters weren’t supposed to kill each other.

But still—

“Watch where you’re running.”

Yelping, Shirou skidded and frantically dug in his feet, trying to slow his momentum as Archer suddenly materialized in front of him, the Servant’s scowl deepening as he saw the boy wasn’t slowing down. The fact that it was still wet and slippery even though it had stopped raining didn’t help. Sighing, Archer stepped outside.

There was a shout from Shirou, then a heavy, loud thud. Archer turned back around as the boy groaned, lying facedown on the ground. Grimacing, he slowly rolled over and sat up, hastily getting to his feet. “What do you want?” he growled, glaring at the man in red.

Archer lifted a brow; briefly, he wished Rin would stop associating with such stubborn company. “Rin sent me to tell you that she found Sakura.” He held up a hand before Shirou could continue, his face pale and his eyes wide. “She’s fine. Still alive, if a little shaken up. She’s spending the night at the mansion, so go home and rest. Rin said you could come over for breakfast if you have any questions.”

Shirou blinked and did an amazingly accurate imitation of a goldfish before he snapped his mouth shut and nodded, wiping his hands on his pants. “Tell Tohsaka to expect me tomorrow morning,” he finally managed.

Archer sighed and nodded before he once more vanished. Shirou blinked dumbly for several minutes, his brain still trying to process what had just happened and what the older man had told him. Sakura was safe. She was safe, and spending the night with Rin.

“Tohsaka… wasn’t able to kill her.”

As he shook his head and scratched the back of his neck in wonder before starting home (limping slightly from his fall), he wondered at how thoroughly Rin could contradict herself.

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Without even knowing that her Senpai was having the exact same thoughts, Sakura was also pondering the contradiction that was her older sister. She leaned back against the massive red couch in the living room, listening to the sounds of her sister making tea in the kitchen, and gently brought a hand up to brush the bandage now covering the cut on her neck.

“… Nee-san is a confusing person,” she murmured.

In the last few minutes alone, Rin had completely fussed over Sakura the moment Archer was gone and they were both in the house. The black-haired girl had wrapped her up in a blanket before drying her hair off with a towel, gruffly ordering her to sit and stay in the living room until she came back. Sakura was still rather dazed by the whole process, and quite frankly a little nervous about checking the condition of her hair; the way Rin had dried her off had felt like some strands were being pulled out by the roots. Wondering how she had gone from facing death at her sister’s hands to being cared for by said sister, Sakura simply drew the blanket tighter around herself and decided not to question it.

She heard a soft clink on the table and looked up just in time to see Rin settling in a chair beside the couch, curling up there as she cradled a cup of tea in her hands; another steaming cup sat on the table. “Drink,” the older girl said, gesturing with her hand before she picked up her own cup and drank. “That should warm you up a bit. Once you finish it, take a bath. It’ll chase away the chill.”

Sakura was half tempted to point out that Rin herself was doing nothing to handle the fact that she was also chilled, minus a cup of tea. The blue-eyed girl still wore her wet clothes and seemed, in fact, completely unaware of them and comfortable. However, she got the feeling her sister’s nerves were still raw, so she simply nodded and picked up the cup, taking a sip as her eyes slowly drifted around the living room.

She was amazed that it still looked the same. Eleven years after leaving the mansion behind, she had returned to find it virtually unchanged from her childhood memories, minus a few people. Her father she could understand, but that didn’t explain…

“Nee-san, what happened to Mother?”

The instant she asked, Sakura regretted it; Rin stiffened and seemed to freeze, going deathly still at the question. Surprising herself, though, she didn’t take it back. She honestly wanted to know, and now seemed to be the best time to ask.

Finally, Rin lowered her cup. “When Father died, I think she snapped,” she murmured. “She was sent away to a mental hospital not long after the War ended. I was still pretty young when I learned she’d committed suicide.”

Sakura felt something clench painfully in her chest, then slowly release at this. Somehow, it made sense to her; she had accepted a long time ago that both her parents were gone and would do nothing to save her, even if they wanted to. Even so, hearing the confirmation from Rin… hurt. Deep down in some untouched part of her, she had hoped that one day she could escape the Matou household and return to her family, to live the way she had always dreamed. Finally, she took another sip of her tea. “I’m sorry, Nee-san,” she murmured softly.

Rin blinked. “For what?”

“It hurts, doesn’t it? Talking about them.”

Rin was silent. Sakura found it incredibly telling that her sister had no response.

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“I appreciate what you did, Archer.”

The red Servant sighed and leaned back against the couch, taking a long gulp of tea from the fresh cup he’d brewed himself the instant he’d returned to the mansion. “He’s going to have questions,” he warned. “He was pretty calm because I caught him by surprise, but tomorrow he probably won’t shut up.”

“I figured.” It wasn’t as if this was news to her, Rin mused with a sigh as she finished drying her hair. Deep down she would have preferred taking a long, hot bath to wash away the chill, but Sakura was currently using it and needed it far more than she did. “I’ll deal with him when the moment comes.”

A silence fell between the two, broken only by Archer continuing to drink his tea and Rin still drying off her hair; finally, the older man sighed. “Can I say something?”

“Go ahead.”

“I’m not going to scold you, because that never works.” He glanced at his Master, and calm gray met tired blue. “But you’re taking a long road, Rin. You’ve chosen to follow a hard path.”

Rin was silent, finishing with her hair and shaking her head to let it loose, leaving her ribbons on the table.

“I already know that, Archer.”

And she left unspoken the one thing they both knew was true.

It wasn’t that I couldn’t kill her… it’s just that I didn’t want to.

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“Ah, here we are.” Nodding with pleasure, Rin opened the door and stepped aside so Sakura could peer through the door. “What do you think?”

It was late, and both girls had bathed and were ready for bed, all things considered. Upon noticing the hour, Rin had told Sakura that she had a room the girl could sleep in for the night, and had wasted no time in leading her to a room that was literally only a few doors down from her own room. Stepping into the room tentatively, Sakura could only stare.

The bedroom she had called her own as a child, before being sent away to the Matou family, was just as she remembered it; there was new wallpaper, the carpet had been changed, and the bed was a little bigger, but the room was still incredibly close to her memory of it from before she had left home. Stunned, she inhaled deeply. “You kept it the same,” she whispered shakily.

Standing in the doorway, Rin shrugged and pretended not to notice how Sakura’s heart had come into her eyes. “I never saw a reason to change it too much. It’s pretty easy to keep clean, and it just needed some minor changes.” She hesitated for a moment, waiting, before she spoke again. “Will it work for tonight?”

There was a moment of silence as Sakura seemed to drink in everything before she nodded, turning back to her sister with the first true, genuine smile Rin had seen on her face in a long while.

“It’s perfect, Nee-san.”

Seeing this, Rin relaxed. Maybe at this rate, they could both make it until morning. “Well, then, I’m heading to bed,” she said, and stepped out. “I’m just down the hall if you need me.”

“Mm!”

Rin paused, then turned back around to face her sister. “Sakura.”

“Hm?”

And she smiled. “Good night.”

Before Sakura could respond, Rin closed the door and headed to the safety of her room.

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Hot.

It was the surge of heat that woke Sakura at midnight; she gasped and bit down hard on her lip to keep from crying out as pain and desire swept through her body, making her curl tightly into herself. Her hand tightly gripped the sheets of the bed as she desperately fought the urge to lower her fingers.

It’s too hot.

She was trembling all over and panting, practically blinded by waves of need that bordered on painful. She knew what it meant; her body needed magical energy to survive, and she didn’t have much left to provide. The core of her being was throbbing, begging, please, please, there’s a powerful magus right down the hall, she won’t even know—

A flash of red across her eyes brought her back to her senses.

Still panting, bathed in sweat, she slowly relaxed under the bed sheets, blowing out a long, ragged breath. Her hand was bleeding, the skin broken; in her last desperate attempt to keep her sanity so she wouldn’t do something she’d regret, she’d bitten herself hard enough to draw blood.

She knew the warning sign. She had spent a lot of magical energy today, no thanks to her brother, and needed to make up the difference; her body would only continue to haunt her and drive her mad until she did.

Not yet. I still have enough energy to last on my own. Please, not yet.

“Sakura.”

She didn’t even jolt at the soft voice, simply opened her eyes and smiled weakly up at the black Servant standing over her. “I’m sorry, Rider,” she whispered. “Did I spook you?”

“No.” She paused. “A little bit. Are you all right?”

“Mm.” She nodded and pulled the covers back up to her chin, taking care to hide her bitten hand. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“You are my Master. It’s my job to protect you.”

Sakura’s smile softened; Rider always said that, no matter what she did. “I know.” She sighed and shifted, settling back into bed. “I’m fine, now. You can go back to patrolling.”

“If that is what you wish.” But Rider’s presence didn’t fade. It was clear she had more to say. After a few seconds of debate, she asked, “What Rin said to you before… is that some kind of farewell?”

“Hm? Yeah. It’s normal to say good night to someone. It’s a way of wishing that they’ll sleep without trouble.”

“I see.” Sakura opened her eyes as Rider pondered this, and after a moment the tall Servant nodded to herself, causing her light purple hair to swish gently before she spoke again, a small smile on her face. “Then, good night, Sakura. I hope you sleep peacefully.”

Sakura couldn’t help but return the smile. “Good night, Rider. I’ll see you in the morning, okay?”

The taller woman nodded before her presence faded from the room entirely, signaling that she had finally left. Sighing softly, Sakura closed her eyes and curled back around her pillow, deciding she would do something about her hand in the morning.

The moment she closed her eyes and breathed out softly, relaxing her body, she was out like a light. She didn’t stir again for the rest of the night.

Spoiler for Ramblings:

1. Aoi's death is mainly speculation on my part; I assume at some point she was taken away to some kind of treatment place after the War ended, but I don't know if she simply died there of old age or committed suicide.

2. The Rider/Sakura scene at the end of the chapter surprised me. I knew I had to get to the point where Sakura was suffering from not having magical energy, but I didn't expect for Rider to actually come and check on her, or for either of them to interact that much. But eh, I got a nice warm feeling out of writing it, so no complaints.

As A Result of Bad Planning

[Moczo]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

So I should be working on my math homework, but no, I had the idea for this and couldn't quit until I'd finished it. Ugh. I hate plotbunnies sometimes.

Spoiler for Into the Rain: The Contradiction of Tohsaka Rin:

Chapter 2: The Contradiction of Tohsaka Rin

Reaching the door of her house, it crossed Rin’s mind then that even though she had found Sakura, Shirou hadn’t; and as a result, he was probably still looking for her. She paused, her fingers gently clasping the knob. Maybe he was smart, and would go home when he got too cold and wet to keep looking…?

Remember who we’re talking about, here.

She groaned, gently thumping her head against the door before she spoke. “Archer.”

Her Servant materialized at her side instantly, making Sakura jolt and back up a few steps. “Yes?”

“Track down Emiya-kun, would you? Let him know Sakura’s safe and spending the night with me so he doesn’t look for her until the crack of dawn. If he has any questions, tell him he can come by the mansion in the morning for breakfast.”

Archer grumbled at this, but she felt his presence fade from her side and knew he had obeyed her order, as he always did; even if he didn’t agree with it personally. Sighing, she lifted her forehead from the door, unlocked it, and pushed it open, stepping inside. She paused when she realized Sakura wasn’t coming and turned, looking at her. “Are you coming?” she called into the rain.

Sakura hesitated and bit her lip; taking a deep breath, she hastily hurried up the stairs before she gave herself time to think, entering the house she hadn’t set foot in for almost eleven years.

The door closed behind them with a soft click.

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Shirou ran.

He’d looked everywhere he could think of; the park, the train station, even around school. Sakura was nowhere to be found. Desperation and exhaustion had driven him back to his house in the vain hope that perhaps she had returned and would be sipping tea in the living room, but when he saw it was dark and empty he immediately headed back outside.

Where is she?

He tried to ignore the possible truth that Rin had found her before he had and had already killed her, possibly disposing of the body. Not only was it simply far too painful to consider, but he still believed that for her words and actions, Rin didn’t have it in her to kill Sakura. They were sisters, after all; sisters weren’t supposed to kill each other.

But still—

“Watch where you’re running.”

Yelping, Shirou skidded and frantically dug in his feet, trying to slow his momentum as Archer suddenly materialized in front of him, the Servant’s scowl deepening as he saw the boy wasn’t slowing down. The fact that it was still wet and slippery even though it had stopped raining didn’t help. Sighing, Archer stepped outside.

There was a shout from Shirou, then a heavy, loud thud. Archer turned back around as the boy groaned, lying facedown on the ground. Grimacing, he slowly rolled over and sat up, hastily getting to his feet. “What do you want?” he growled, glaring at the man in red.

Archer lifted a brow; briefly, he wished Rin would stop associating with such stubborn company. “Rin sent me to tell you that she found Sakura.” He held up a hand before Shirou could continue, his face pale and his eyes wide. “She’s fine. Still alive, if a little shaken up. She’s spending the night at the mansion, so go home and rest. Rin said you could come over for breakfast if you have any questions.”

Shirou blinked and did an amazingly accurate imitation of a goldfish before he snapped his mouth shut and nodded, wiping his hands on his pants. “Tell Tohsaka to expect me tomorrow morning,” he finally managed.

Archer sighed and nodded before he once more vanished. Shirou blinked dumbly for several minutes, his brain still trying to process what had just happened and what the older man had told him. Sakura was safe. She was safe, and spending the night with Rin.

“Tohsaka… wasn’t able to kill her.”

As he shook his head and scratched the back of his neck in wonder before starting home (limping slightly from his fall), he wondered at how thoroughly Rin could contradict herself.

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Without even knowing that her Senpai was having the exact same thoughts, Sakura was also pondering the contradiction that was her older sister. She leaned back against the massive red couch in the living room, listening to the sounds of her sister making tea in the kitchen, and gently brought a hand up to brush the bandage now covering the cut on her neck.

“… Nee-san is a confusing person,” she murmured.

In the last few minutes alone, Rin had completely fussed over Sakura the moment Archer was gone and they were both in the house. The black-haired girl had wrapped her up in a blanket before drying her hair off with a towel, gruffly ordering her to sit and stay in the living room until she came back. Sakura was still rather dazed by the whole process, and quite frankly a little nervous about checking the condition of her hair; the way Rin had dried her off had felt like some strands were being pulled out by the roots. Wondering how she had gone from facing death at her sister’s hands to being cared for by said sister, Sakura simply drew the blanket tighter around herself and decided not to question it.

She heard a soft clink on the table and looked up just in time to see Rin settling in a chair beside the couch, curling up there as she cradled a cup of tea in her hands; another steaming cup sat on the table. “Drink,” the older girl said, gesturing with her hand before she picked up her own cup and drank. “That should warm you up a bit. Once you finish it, take a bath. It’ll chase away the chill.”

Sakura was half tempted to point out that Rin herself was doing nothing to handle the fact that she was also chilled, minus a cup of tea. The blue-eyed girl still wore her wet clothes and seemed, in fact, completely unaware of them and comfortable. However, she got the feeling her sister’s nerves were still raw, so she simply nodded and picked up the cup, taking a sip as her eyes slowly drifted around the living room.

She was amazed that it still looked the same. Eleven years after leaving the mansion behind, she had returned to find it virtually unchanged from her childhood memories, minus a few people. Her father she could understand, but that didn’t explain…

“Nee-san, what happened to Mother?”

The instant she asked, Sakura regretted it; Rin stiffened and seemed to freeze, going deathly still at the question. Surprising herself, though, she didn’t take it back. She honestly wanted to know, and now seemed to be the best time to ask.

Finally, Rin lowered her cup. “When Father died, I think she snapped,” she murmured. “She was sent away to a mental hospital not long after the War ended. I was still pretty young when I learned she’d committed suicide.”

Sakura felt something clench painfully in her chest, then slowly release at this. Somehow, it made sense to her; she had accepted a long time ago that both her parents were gone and would do nothing to save her, even if they wanted to. Even so, hearing the confirmation from Rin… hurt. Deep down in some untouched part of her, she had hoped that one day she could escape the Matou household and return to her family, to live the way she had always dreamed. Finally, she took another sip of her tea. “I’m sorry, Nee-san,” she murmured softly.

Rin blinked. “For what?”

“It hurts, doesn’t it? Talking about them.”

Rin was silent. Sakura found it incredibly telling that her sister had no response.

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“I appreciate what you did, Archer.”

The red Servant sighed and leaned back against the couch, taking a long gulp of tea from the fresh cup he’d brewed himself the instant he’d returned to the mansion. “He’s going to have questions,” he warned. “He was pretty calm because I caught him by surprise, but tomorrow he probably won’t shut up.”

“I figured.” It wasn’t as if this was news to her, Rin mused with a sigh as she finished drying her hair. Deep down she would have preferred taking a long, hot bath to wash away the chill, but Sakura was currently using it and needed it far more than she did. “I’ll deal with him when the moment comes.”

A silence fell between the two, broken only by Archer continuing to drink his tea and Rin still drying off her hair; finally, the older man sighed. “Can I say something?”

“Go ahead.”

“I’m not going to scold you, because that never works.” He glanced at his Master, and calm gray met tired blue. “But you’re taking a long road, Rin. You’ve chosen to follow a hard path.”

Rin was silent, finishing with her hair and shaking her head to let it loose, leaving her ribbons on the table.

“I already know that, Archer.”

And she left unspoken the one thing they both knew was true.

It wasn’t that I couldn’t kill her… it’s just that I didn’t want to.

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“Ah, here we are.” Nodding with pleasure, Rin opened the door and stepped aside so Sakura could peer through the door. “What do you think?”

It was late, and both girls had bathed and were ready for bed, all things considered. Upon noticing the hour, Rin had told Sakura that she had a room the girl could sleep in for the night, and had wasted no time in leading her to a room that was literally only a few doors down from her own room. Stepping into the room tentatively, Sakura could only stare.

The bedroom she had called her own as a child, before being sent away to the Matou family, was just as she remembered it; there was new wallpaper, the carpet had been changed, and the bed was a little bigger, but the room was still incredibly close to her memory of it from before she had left home. Stunned, she inhaled deeply. “You kept it the same,” she whispered shakily.

Standing in the doorway, Rin shrugged and pretended not to notice how Sakura’s heart had come into her eyes. “I never saw a reason to change it too much. It’s pretty easy to keep clean, and it just needed some minor changes.” She hesitated for a moment, waiting, before she spoke again. “Will it work for tonight?”

There was a moment of silence as Sakura seemed to drink in everything before she nodded, turning back to her sister with the first true, genuine smile Rin had seen on her face in a long while.

“It’s perfect, Nee-san.”

Seeing this, Rin relaxed. Maybe at this rate, they could both make it until morning. “Well, then, I’m heading to bed,” she said, and stepped out. “I’m just down the hall if you need me.”

“Mm!”

Rin paused, then turned back around to face her sister. “Sakura.”

“Hm?”

And she smiled. “Good night.”

Before Sakura could respond, Rin closed the door and headed to the safety of her room.

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Hot.

It was the surge of heat that woke Sakura at midnight; she gasped and bit down hard on her lip to keep from crying out as pain and desire swept through her body, making her curl tightly into herself. Her hand tightly gripped the sheets of the bed as she desperately fought the urge to lower her fingers.

It’s too hot.

She was trembling all over and panting, practically blinded by waves of need that bordered on painful. She knew what it meant; her body needed magical energy to survive, and she didn’t have much left to provide. The core of her being was throbbing, begging, please, please, there’s a powerful magus right down the hall, she won’t even know—

A flash of red across her eyes brought her back to her senses.

Still panting, bathed in sweat, she slowly relaxed under the bed sheets, blowing out a long, ragged breath. Her hand was bleeding, the skin broken; in her last desperate attempt to keep her sanity so she wouldn’t do something she’d regret, she’d bitten herself hard enough to draw blood.

She knew the warning sign. She had spent a lot of magical energy today, no thanks to her brother, and needed to make up the difference; her body would only continue to haunt her and drive her mad until she did.

Not yet. I still have enough energy to last on my own. Please, not yet.

“Sakura.”

She didn’t even jolt at the soft voice, simply opened her eyes and smiled weakly up at the black Servant standing over her. “I’m sorry, Rider,” she whispered. “Did I spook you?”

“No.” She paused. “A little bit. Are you all right?”

“Mm.” She nodded and pulled the covers back up to her chin, taking care to hide her bitten hand. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“You are my Master. It’s my job to protect you.”

Sakura’s smile softened; Rider always said that, no matter what she did. “I know.” She sighed and shifted, settling back into bed. “I’m fine, now. You can go back to patrolling.”

“If that is what you wish.” But Rider’s presence didn’t fade. It was clear she had more to say. After a few seconds of debate, she asked, “What Rin said to you before… is that some kind of farewell?”

“Hm? Yeah. It’s normal to say good night to someone. It’s a way of wishing that they’ll sleep without trouble.”

“I see.” Sakura opened her eyes as Rider pondered this, and after a moment the tall Servant nodded to herself, causing her light purple hair to swish gently before she spoke again, a small smile on her face. “Then, good night, Sakura. I hope you sleep peacefully.”

Sakura couldn’t help but return the smile. “Good night, Rider. I’ll see you in the morning, okay?”

The taller woman nodded before her presence faded from the room entirely, signaling that she had finally left. Sighing softly, Sakura closed her eyes and curled back around her pillow, deciding she would do something about her hand in the morning.

The moment she closed her eyes and breathed out softly, relaxing her body, she was out like a light. She didn’t stir again for the rest of the night.

Spoiler for Ramblings:

1. Aoi's death is mainly speculation on my part; I assume at some point she was taken away to some kind of treatment place after the War ended, but I don't know if she simply died there of old age or committed suicide.

2. The Rider/Sakura scene at the end of the chapter surprised me. I knew I had to get to the point where Sakura was suffering from not having magical energy, but I didn't expect for Rider to actually come and check on her, or for either of them to interact that much. But eh, I got a nice warm feeling out of writing it, so no complaints.

As A Result of Bad Planning

Well, no complaints here. A good follow up to a good start. It's pretty obvious that you're just setting the stage for the actual plot still to come, but the character interactions are solid enough that it's worth sticking around during the set-up phase. Very interested in seeing where you take this (and considering I sorta know, already, that's saying something. You do have a habit of surprising me... )

[Cherry_Lover]

Yes, this is a very well-written fic, and Rin and Sakura's interactions are well-done too. This is a very interesting set-up, and I wonder where you're going to take it....

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

Spoiler for Ramblings:

1. Aoi's death is mainly speculation on my part; I assume at some point she was taken away to some kind of treatment place after the War ended, but I don't know if she simply died there of old age or committed suicide.

Spoiler for Fate/Zero:

Well, Aoi was actually strangled by Kariya at the end of Fate/Zero, and that left her in a wheelchair and brain damaged (I don't know if Rin knows the details, though, so what she said here might well be what she thinks).

You're right that Aoi likely went to a mental institution of some kind, since Rin sure as hell couldn't care for her as a five-year-old, and she would likely get in the way somewhat. As far as her death is concerned, according to a translation of one of the Side Material books that someone posted on Beast's Lair a while back, she died of an illness sometime before FSN. I don't think she was capable of suicide.

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by Cherry_Lover

Spoiler for Fate/Zero:

Well, Aoi was actually strangled by Kariya at the end of Fate/Zero, and that left her in a wheelchair and brain damaged (I don't know if Rin knows the details, though, so what she said here might well be what she thinks).

You're right that Aoi likely went to a mental institution of some kind, since Rin sure as hell couldn't care for her as a five-year-old, and she would likely get in the way somewhat. As far as her death is concerned, according to a translation of one of the Side Material books that someone posted on Beast's Lair a while back, she died of an illness sometime before FSN. I don't think she was capable of suicide.

... Urgh. That's what I get for checking out the info on Fate/Zero but never actually taking the time to read it. I guess I'll have to go back and rewrite that a bit.

[Cherry_Lover]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

... Urgh. That's what I get for checking out the info on Fate/Zero but never actually taking the time to read it. I guess I'll have to go back and rewrite that a bit.

Well, the bit about her death isn't widely known, and the bit about how she becomes brain-damaged isn't translated yet, so....

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by Cherry_Lover

Well, the bit about her death isn't widely known, and the bit about how she becomes brain-damaged isn't translated yet, so....

Well, I guess until otherwise then I can keep it as it is; I could even say "this is what Rin heard and believes" if I don't feel like changing it. I'd just like to stay as close to the translated material as I can so nothing I write contradicts canon too much... especially since the whole fic itself will end up AU anyway.

[Cherry_Lover]

Well, the fact that it's translated doesn't make it any less true, but Rin would almost certainly not know what happened to her mother in the fourth war, because there is no-one other than Kotomine who could tell her, and I doubt he would have done so given that it would make him look bad. The only bit that might need changing is the "suicide" thing.

[Nerroth]

Ho hum...

Spoiler for Crystallized Moments, Part 3:

Part 3


The seihai sensou had passed; leaving more in its wake than I had imagined.

That is not to say I was overly expecting much of anything in particular to happen; quite the opposite. Rather than have anything to hope for, all there was in my mind was the fear; that which took root the moment I realised who, to my horror, had been involved in the conflict.

That, and the regret... that the Servant I had brought forth, before abandoning her to the whims of another, might never be able to forgive me.


In the event, I wept as I lost the chance to right the grave wrong I had done her; tears I had to hide, compounding the burden of lies I had to bear for the sake of...


Still, I thought, I should be happy; sempaihad survived, as had nee-sa... Tohsaka-sempai, and her new Servant. Whatever happened to Nii-san had stopped him from trying to... and Grandfather had been keeping to himself, his attention turned in another direction.

I should have been happy.


I was still there; at the Emiya-tei, spending time with others, surrounded by people who, at least, could be glad to see me.


After all, so far as the nature of my own relationships in that place went, nothing had changed.


But in truth, as I saw sempai and nee-san move closer and closer, a part of me I did not wish to acknowledge knew all too well...


...that everything had changed.


------


August 09, 2005


"Welcome back, Seonac," Bláthnaid offered, as the former stepped into her office. "You may as well take the view in; it's the last you'll see of it in a while."

While the view from the small window facing the nearby street was modest, the point she was referring to had more to do with the wider import of this, his last meeting here before the big move.

"To be honest, it still doesn't feel real," he admitted, as he took his seat across from Bláthnaid's own. "The moving, I mean. Of course, logically I know that it's about to happen, but it's still hard for me to, well... see it, in my mind."

As she sat down in turn, Bláthnaid gestured with her right hand in an it-happens-more-often-than-you'd-think expression. "I'm sure it'll be real enough once you get there; but while you are still here, we should try to go over some of the things I want you to keep in mind when you get on that plane."

"Understood," he nodded. He took a notepad and pen out of his bag, hoping to not ruin the notes he was going to take with the kind of less-than-clear handwriting his left hand often produced. I need to get a PDA or something, he sighed inwardly, before returning to the conversation at hand.

"Right, let's see..." Bláthnaid placed her elbows on the armrests and put her hands together, pressing the tips of her index fingers to her lips. Her eyes closed for a moment, as she brought the topics she wanted to go over to her mind.

It didn't take long for the first to arise. "Okay. These aren't in any particular order, so if there are topics we don't get to cover in the time we have, I'll send you notes on the other stuff later on. Try not to think that all you need to worry about is what you and I are going to get to talk about in this room today."

"Duly noted," he replied.

"Good, good," she followed up with. "Now, the thing I wanted to talk to you first was about the issue of double disclosure. Well, triple, perhaps, but I'll get to that."

"Get to..." he wondered aloud, as he made the first notes on the page.

Bláthnaid held out a hand, pressing the tips of her thumb and index finger together. "First disclosure; that you're an aspie."

Then, she moved the thumb to press against her middle finger. "Second; that you're a magus."

After this, her ring finger. "Third; that you've had dealings with someone from another Great Branch."

"Oh, you mean with this?" he asked, reaching for the Atlas-derived sigil inscribed on his wrist-slash-pocket watch.

"Well, in theory, it's not that big a deal," she tried to explain, "on paper, Atlas and the Clock Tower are on the same side, so to speak. It's not like there aren't Atlasians in areas nominally affiliated to the Tower, and vice versa; you'd probably find at least one or two on exchange programs within the walls of the Clock Tower itself."

"Even so," she warned, "things aren't always friendly, and to be honest it's not like there aren't Atlas-ians who might be ill-disposed towards you, just as the case might be for the odd Clockie or two. Or three or..."

Seonac wasn't thrilled at the thought of that. "But wouldn't they tell if I were to try and mind-proof my dorm wall, or if they see the inscription on my watch?"

"You should try and look after your wards' upkeep when no-one's around to take a peek," she pointed out, "and if you keep your watch in your pocket, you should be fine. Or rather, if you are in the situation that keeping someone away from your watch is a handful, you might have bigger problems than worrying about what they might see on there."

Seonac shook his head at this, trying not to let any second thoughts about the upcoming move get too much momentum. "So why am I going into the lion's den again?"

"It's not that bad," she countered with a short wave of a hand. "There are things you can't account for, but the same would be true with 'mundane' life, too. But just because you might get caught in a traffic accident doesn't mean you shouldn't leave the house."

"Because the house could burn down itself anyway," he added, somewhat more quickly than he might have wanted to.

"Yeah," she shrugged. "Anyway, where was I? Oh yes. Disclosures. When it comes to your vocation as a magus, and the handful of Atlas tricks I've taught you, it pays to be careful; but the fact of you being there will make the former less of an issue, though revealing too much about what you can, or can't, do may well be."

"Even so," she wanted to add, "you are bound to find at least some people with whom you can place your trust, and who would want to place their trust in you, in turn. If, or rather when, that happens, you don't have to rush to say too much, but it can help to try and talk it through at least gradually."

"Are you sure about that?" he asked her. "The finding good people, I mean..."

"There are good people out there," she assured him, "and ones who would be as willing to make new connections as you would be. That's not to say things would run smoothly, but trust me; it will happen."

"I'll see what I can do..." he replied. Like the wider issue of the move itself, trying to account for what kind of friendships he may be able to establish in London, when he hadn't even met any of those who would be there (or who would go there from their own corners of the globe) seemed less than natural.

"Which brings me to the other disclosure..." At this, she turned the screen on her counter top to face him; the web browser showing the home page of the UK's National Autistic Society.

"That name..." Seonac half-said. While he had tried to come to terms with Asperger Syndrome in the wake of his earlier diagnosis, there was still an involuntary sense of discomfiture at the sight of the other, shorter 'A' word. It was neither logical nor rational; but it wasn't too easy to shrug off. "You think I should go talk to them?"

"Probably," she answered. "I can give you a couple of names of people I know of in the city, but neither or those are magi. You'd be able to talk about dealing with the condition with them, but it won't be the same as it is with me."

"And talking to a magus counselor who may not specialise in Aspergers might not be ideal either," he added, "let alone talking to people inside or outside of the Clock Tower about it."

"No-one should feel ashamed about disclosing," she said to him. "You are no more or less of a person for being an aspie, and you should never let yourself feel that. But at the same time, there are ways and means when it comes to who you might want to disclose to, and how you might want to say it."

"So, try to avoid the usual, then," he answered, "saying either 500 words, or none at all, when only 20 are sufficient?"

"Only if they are the right 20," she pointed out. "When there are topics which need those 500 words, that's okay, but it's important to gauge the context in which to use them. Not everyone's willing to engage in a full-on discussion at the drop of a hat."

"And when it comes to explaining the syndrome," she added, "take Simon Baron-Cohen's cues; not least the part about folk physics versus folk psychology."

"So, say something like: 'in a so-called neurotypical mind, there's more of a balance between the logical 'folk physics' and intuitive 'folk psychology' sides of things; whereas for AS, the first part is comparatively larger than the second.' Something like that?"

She hemmed and hawed a bit at how he was saying it, but more out of application than principle. "Sort of. I'm sure you can think of something to go with; it's not like you should have a pre-prepared script, anyway. It will depend on who you are talking to, what they may or may not already know, and what kind of mindset they may have that you might have to deal with."

After a short pause, Seonac looked down at the page before him; still not quite as full as he might have liked them to be. "Okay."


"Look Seonac, I know you aren't in a position to take all of this on board right now," she admitted, "but I still want you to try and take some of this woth you, sit down, read it over, and work on making more sense on it then than you might be able to now. Patience is it own reward... which leads me to another topic I wanted to deal with."

"Which one?" he asked her, not quite sure what to expect.

At this, she smiled a little. "Which one indeed."

She opened a second tab on the browser; one leading to a set of guidelines offered on the website of the NHS. Seonac blushed a little when he realized what they were for.

"You shouldn't feel embarrassed," she tried to assure him. "It's important to bear these kinds of things in mind; I can't stress this enough."

"Look, it's not that..." he struggled to say. "The kind of thing on there is not a problem in and of itself, it's just..."

"...you feel it won't matter anyway?" She was all too aware of his lack of confidence in terms of forming a more-than-friends kind of relationship, at this stage of his life at least. "You're really going to have to grow out of that side of yourself, Seonac."

She decided to pre-empt any talk about how things had been to this point; tit would be counter-productive to the message she wanted him to carry going forward. "You might not believe it now, but I'm telling you; one day or another, you will find a girl who you like, that will like you in turn. And I don't mean just like-as-a-friend like, but I-want-to-be-with-you like. Though, it's usually good if you are friends with your partner, of course!"

"When that happens," she went on, "the number one rule I can offer is this; be patient. When it comes to trying to get to know each other, to planning how to spend time together, to seeing how compatible you are, even - no, especially - should the two of you become intimate... do not rush things, or jump to conclusions, or let things get to you the way they shouldn't.

If things aren't meant to be, or not meant to last, that happens; but you owe it to her, and to yourself, to give things enough time and space to see what may grow between you.

And for God's sakes, man, use protection."

"Well, I mean, I..." he wasn't sure how comfortable he'd be talking to a would-be partner about that sort of thing.

"Seonac," she stated flatly, "it's the goddamned 21st century, much as some of the stuffier sods in the Clock Tower might wish it were still the 19th. Trust me, you are going to want to talk about that with your partner; not just about birth control, but in terms of keeping a lid on infections."

She reminded him of a tragedy in their own country. "You can ask any of the victims at the Lindsay Tribunal how you can get HIV from a tainted blood transfusion; even if you never exchange certain fluids with someone carrying the virus. Would you want to end up bringing a girl back to the Ó'Conaill house with a child in her belly, and the lot of you taking cocktails of pills to try and ward off AIDS for the rest of your lives?"

The tennis enthusiast within him thought of another sad example; the loss of Arthur Ashe to the consequences of another tainted transfusion. He had held his peace about what had happened for several years, but did much to highlight the condition in the last year of his life. "I understand."

"Get yourself regularly screened, in any case," she insisted. "They have the National Health Service; there's no excuse not to make use of it. And not just your blood; your overall health. It all matters."

After noting as many details as he could on the paper, he thought of something she had once said to him in an earlier session. "What is that old line you said to me again?"

"'Amateurs think about tactics; real professionals think about logistics'." A military proverb she had picked up from an old friend, but one which she found applicable in civilian life, too. "Set the building blocks in place, do the right things well and often, and it will be more likely to pay off than not."

"I'll see what I can do," he tried to assure her... or, perhaps, himself.

"Not quite as enthusiastic a response as I'd like, but better than nothing," she allowed.


After a further spot of note-making, he looked up; feeling a sense of sadness creeping up on him that he hadn't quite been ready to confront to this point. "I don't know if I've said it, but..."

She smiled, placing a hand on his shoulder. "It's alright, Seonac. I'm going to miss you, too. But I'll still be around, it's only a short flight back over, and you'll be entering a whole new phase of your life; so don't worry."


"Thank you." Two simple words, which for once concisely conveyed the sense of deep gratitude and gratefulness which he felt; not just the understanding and acceptance she had offered him from the outset, but the foundations she had helped him set ever since.


"You're going to be 18 soon," she reminded him; his birthday was just over a month and change away. "But before you even get to that day, before you even get on that plane next week, do this:

Believe in yourself; that you are going to be a good man.

The rest... is for Fate to decide."

[RadiantBeam]

So lately I've been thinking a bit, and I was hoping I could ask for some opinions on this, because I do need a bit of help in deciding.

I made the decision awhile back to continue A Change in Fate, and then set it aside so I could work out some kinks of how the plot would flow with Saber still alive. However, while doing this I started working on Into The Rain and sort of ran into a small roadblock: both fics essentially have the same ending (or at least, I have the same ending in mind for them; I'm aiming for something similar to HF True, unless my plotbunny gets mean).

Now, granted, I realize this isn't much of a stumbling block because the two ideas behind getting to the end are wildly different; A Change in Fate focuses on Saber surviving and living with her corruption, while Into The Rain focuses on Rin finding Sakura first and the effect that would have had on the characters' relationships with each other. As a result, the way they ultimately shape up will also be different, and the path taken to the end will be different.

So I guess what I want to ask is, am I over thinking this? Or should I drop one in favor of the other? Because it kind of bugs me that two fics I'm working on have the same (or a very similar) ending, even if the overall story is going to be different.

[Cherry_Lover]

Well, honestly I don't see what the problem is.

Spoiler for HF:

Whilst they're likely to have similar endings, that was pretty much inevitable given the setting (there's only really one way HF can end happily), and in any case I would imagine that they will be somewhat different, because I would assume that you intend for Saber to survive in the first one, whereas in the second one she will almost certainly die like in HF (although, it's possible that she could survive, since Rin being closer to Sakura and recognising that she loves her and can't kill her would probably mean that she wouldn't give the same "I don't understand you" speech that drove Sakura totally over the edge and led to the last bad end, so Saber could maybe be spared).

Ultimately, the fics themselves will be totally different, so I don't see the issue with them having similar eventual outcomes.