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Link #402 | |
~La-la Land~
![]() Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Seattle
Age: 31
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Your thought that "all nerds/notakus have a great romantic potential" is true to a certain extent since you could say the same thing about almost ANY type of guy. You can't just pin that to one type, people don't work so predictably. All a guy can do is have a clean presentation, a friendly personality, and the key points of honesty, dependability, and the ability to communicate. I'd notice any guy like that whether he's handsome or not: just a "good" guy, and if the girl is worth it she'll notice as well.
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Link #403 | |
Make Your Move
Join Date: Dec 2007
Age: 27
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But still if you think they are too high look down a bit there is always the perfect type of girl somewhere around you. |
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Link #404 | |
Pasokon-Otaku
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However, that's besides the point. In dating/relationships, one shouldn't care about the ladder theory. Because in the end, if the girl/guy doesn't notice you, then he/she isn't worth your time (assuming you're a good girl/guy and you've tried your best). In the end, what I'm trying to say is that ladder theory on applies to people who don't notice your romantic potential (again, assuming you're a girl/guy and you've tried your best), and therefore shouldn't be worth your time. (Sry, about the little rant, the ladder theory pisses me off since my bestfriend got caught up in it and thought the girl wouldn't "say yes" because of the "ladder theory". Even though the girl really wanted him to ask her out.)
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Link #405 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
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Well the ladder theory certainly has it's exceptions. But I think it holds true for the vast majority of people, at least in the USA. Like Vestus mentions, if you are capable of seeing the exceptions, then you don't need the ladder theory. It's more for people who are inexperienced and interpret "friendly" gestures as "romantic" ones.
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Link #406 |
Love Yourself
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Northeast USA
Age: 32
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I don't know whether the ladder theory is true or not. The discussion going on around it points out an important concept, though: everyone is unique, everyone is an individual. We're all human and thus we all follow somewhat similar behavioral patterns to a certain extent, but if love and relationships were a science that could be explained by such simple theories I don't think there'd be so much anxiety and uncertainty surrounding it.
Pay attention to theories and advice, but in the end remember that you and the other person are unique individuals. Your relationship may be similar to those of others in certain ways and to a certain extent, but there are aspects about it that will not be found in any other relationship. Keep it in mind.
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Link #409 | |
User Title eaten by ravenous bunnies
![]() Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Zeon
Age: 27
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Link #410 | |
Senior Member
![]() Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Virginia Tech
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Link #413 | |
Asuki-tan Kairin ↓
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Fürth (GER)
Age: 37
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Well, hard one, trying to compete against dreams is always very difficult. There is so much more then just the kissing action involved. Her feromones, serotonines and dopamines won't appear so suddenly, so you better prepare your first kiss. Think about something romantic... if you know on what she reacts sensitive (e.g. whispering in her ear and kissing her neck ~ I guess you should know what she likes - I can only guess). Be gentle, don't rush things... well kissing itself (its different, sometimes the tongue contact and mouth to mouth action isn't the most important thing... it might be more important how you hold her.. e.g. one hand hip, the other neck and bringing her in a position where she is leaning a little bit backwards - but you must hold her gentle yet tight, since you do not want her to fall ... thats again just a guess (happens that some girls do not like the unballanced position... might be sign she does not trust you or your skills/strength ![]() ![]() Most important, if you always think what to do next, in order to do it right, chances are high you'll fail. In that very moment it should be hard for you to keep a clear thought anyway, so if you want to keep something in your mind, then not to jump the gun on kissing. First amandment is, you both need to feel comfortable. There is no point in one of you having fun and the other being irritated or something alike. Though you should feel that when she is irritated, thats pretty obvious, since she will be rather defensive and stiff in a way. Look into her eyes before you start to kiss her, but not like you want to eat her... more like you would look at the christmas presents under the christmas tree, when you were young. Now I gave you so much advice, that it must fail ![]()
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Link #414 | |
Member
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![]() sorry, couldn't resist...it's very easy, you just go ahead and do it when the moment is right for that first kiss, it should be light at first, and if you sense she liked it, then go for the kill, errr, kiss longer, open your mouth, kiss around it, just experiment and see what works! Also with the first time, hopefully she'll understand if it's not perfect, kissing seems to be one of those things that improves a lot with practice... ![]() |
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Link #415 | |
Ha ha ha ha ha...
![]() Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Right behind you.
Age: 29
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I read that link to that article, and I saw this:
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Link #416 | |
Clannad Preacher
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: In my fantasy dreamworld called Clannad
Age: 24
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But anyways, I've never kissed a girl before, so I'm new to this stuff. I'll try to just go with the flow, and go in when the mood is right. I'll try to forget about it, I'm probably over-thinking it all. As Jinto said, I'll try to not plan...
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Link #417 | ||
Gillian-class Chibi
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Utah
Age: 29
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Other things to keep in mind... -Asking if you can kiss her isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it can somewhat ruin the moment, so if you're pretty sure she wants you to kiss her, just go ahead and do it. (If this results in her turning her head so you get her cheek or hair, you probably should have asked first.) -I'd say using your tongue at all on the first kiss would be a definite NO. It's another step up from "regular" kissing, and it's best to build up to it a little, especially if you're inexperienced--otherwise it could really put a girl off. (My dad has a story from his college days.... On their very first date, the girl grabbed him and proceeded to stick her tongue halfway down his throat. Needless to say, he did not ask her out again.) That's not to say that you can't go ahead with it, if she indicates she'd prefer it, but it's best not to take the chance of making her feel uncomfortable. -She might not like it right away. It could be because you're not very good yet (if this is the case, hopefully she will tell you, and maybe suggest that you practice kissing together ![]() -Real kissing isn't like movie kissing. Find what works for you both, and don't pay attention to what it looks like. Nobody who might see you will be caring how you kiss--and after all, they're not the one you're kissing, anyway. ![]() Quote:
Given that she has a boyfriend, though, I agree that it's probably best not to try for her. |
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Link #419 | |
Inactive Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
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Quote:
![]() Before I ever kissed someone I was also wondering how it would go and if I'd meet up to the expecations etc... When the occasion presented itself it just happened. Nothing complicated and nothing you need to do homework for :3 I was relieved when my partner said he liked it ![]() |
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Link #420 | |
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
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Quote:
Not only that, even if she knows you even after she breaks up with her bf, it's best not to date her either. From what I heard, Rebounded relationships don't last long. But don't fret, man. "Plenty of fishes in the sea." I'm sure you'll find someone that's single and not just want you to help her with her homework. ![]() @Deathreape89: You're lucky to be her first kiss. In relationships, we guys often suffer from the sins of the girls' ex-boyfriends. As long as you follow ChibiMenos' advice, I don't think it'll be that hard to make her feel like "'wow!'" Just choose the right moment, and right location, and right mood, you'll be fine. And despite what Fome said, I think Chrissie is right about the ladder must being V-shaped. If you were higher on the V-shaped ladder, it would just be a lot harder to get across and the fall would even be much higher and more painful. |
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Tags |
advice, break-ups, dating, dating after divorce, divorce, happiness, love, pairings, single dad, single mom |
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