AnimeSuki Forums

Aquatic Fox · 2004-07-05, 08:18

I remember a few years ago when I was aboslutly obsessed with EQ; I skipped three days of school in a row more than once just to play it all day. In the end though it was a very direct intervention that helped me, my parents took away my computer. At first I was angry constantly and yell/argued with my parents, but as time went on I recovered from what I saw as over a year of work put into my EQ char. I got a soical life, a girlfriend, and moved into alot more things which improved my life greatly.

Dhomochevsky · 2004-07-05, 08:45

I used to play computer games a lot when I was younger. When I look back I think it was a great waste of lifetime.

Could have done so many other things... It got even worse when I started to get into online games.
My parents were worried too, but they didnt do any drastic things. They tried to limit my gaming time and started some "work for your computer time"-thing, but that didnt work well, as I still managed to play a lot. But it did help in another way: As playing for me was "illegal" most of the time and they kept telling me how bad it was for me and how worried they are, I got a guilty conscience every time I played. That didnt stop me at first, but it made me think of gaming as a bad thing. At that point I wanted to stop wasting all my time on games MYSELF. It wasnt something my parents would force me to anymore.
I still play games sometimes but then I dont touch any game for a couple of month also. Now I would NEVER give a game priority to something I could do with my friends. Thats a great difference to before.

Looking back I think it would have been better if my parents would have done something drastic... but that would have caused other problems in the familiy of course. There was already quite some dispute about that computer topic.
But that would all have been useless if I wouldnt have wanted to stop gaming myself.
And yes, its some kind of a drug. I cant agree with those who consider this a minor problem.

srb · 2004-07-06, 20:21

As others have suggested, the problem may not be with the games but with his own life. Perhaps he feels out of place and therefore turns to games as a means of escape and solace, and since he obviously likes it then he does nothing else.

I injured my leg three years ago, and then after it healed I hurt it again on the exact same muscle. I had to stop playing sports, and this was in conjunction with Junior High breaking up and I lost contact with a lot of friends. I later got problems in school, and I have been diagnosed with social phobia (not the same as being anti-social, I can be pretty social when I want to with people I know. Read up about it if you're interested). I am supposed to graduate High School next year, but I haven't even finished the first grade for it yet due to my problems. He might very well suffer from something similar, since I would rather skip school and stay home and thus do things I normally do while being home (like playing games), since being in school made me feel physically and mentally ill. You need to talk to him, because personal problems like this can easily make someone turn to something for solace and then become addicted to it.

Kyolux · 2004-07-07, 00:13

Not to be mean, but if you really want your bro to stick off games, you'll have a hard time if he's that addicted, it's not any different then any drugs. I've been into games since I was a kid and I still like them, but I'm not as much into them as I used to be, especially since I quitted FFXI. God I made some nice friend there, but it was a big waste of time. But the heck, now I'm spending my evening/nights watching animes and get a bit of sleep in morning through early afternoon. Well only since it's summer. But yeah part of me wants to get a job and do stuff with my friends and I usually when I can. I like to do other stuff, but having no car is a big issue, and I really hate working student jobs 'cause they treat you like **** but yeah that's another issue, it's just that I can't always do anything else 'cause the town I live is, hasn't much interesting stuff for guys that aren't into the "hip" stuff unless you go kinda far. What I mean is you'll have to help your brother some kind of hobbies he'll enjoy that aren't related to video games. Sorry about that babbling.. lol.. I kinda need a life too anyway, but I have goals now and it's not like school is boring for me. ^^

Oh yeah Root, interesting game you guys are working on, I did applied :P

AnAlPedoFileMan · 2004-07-07, 17:17

oh man u guys dont wanna know how long i was addicted to Diablo 2 and Redmoon years ago...

scary scary times for me...

Entropy · 2004-07-07, 18:38

Well,I gotta say,this kid reminds me of myself,in a more extreme fashion.

The linux suggestion is golden.It sounds silly,but I'm willing to bet that a guy who plays those games only isn't too computer literate(otherwise he would have given up on those games long ago and played oh say Homeworld 2 or Neverwinter Nights

) and linux is known for being hard to use for novices,so I think you should do that and take away the Windows boot disk.

Second of all,talk to him! A guy who plays like that probably has quite a few issues with his life.A lot of people can underestimate the pressures of school and the like,social or otherwise.Subtlely keep him away from any computer whenever possible,don't make it seem too overt.Slowly get to know him and his situation,and gradually try to ween him off the computer,take him outside,let him meet new friends,especially let him meet new friends.Heck,even let him take a look at porn if worse comes to worst.He IS going through puberty,isn't he?

Another thing is don't do anything drastic.As others have mentioned,deleting accounts that have had years of being worked on makes for a suicidal kid and being a formal suicidal myself,that's not a good thing.Don't expect any methods you use that's not direct to have immediate effects,instead have patience with what you do.

Sometimes I wish I had that kinda thing happen to me.I recognize that the internet addiction is actually detrimental to me,but it's such a hard thing to ween off of.Perhaps,if I did my part to prevent this from happening again,I'll change another person's life for the better...

Sepiraph · 2004-07-07, 21:07

Quote:

Originally Posted by DarkCntry

The whole video game issue can be the same for a lot of people, escapism...there might be some other underlying reason as to him doing it, but I could be just looking too deep with the psychology training in me. Sometimes it takes a bit of 'bonding' on your part to understand why he's doing it, as from what you are stating this isn't just casual playing, or even hardcore playing...this seems to be more of a way for him to escape from something.

Stupid as it sounds, you say he is 15 and just starting High School...I know it was a long time ago for me, but I do remember that when I first started High School that there were a crapload of issues. Perhaps he is trying to escape from something there, or maybe something domestically, or it could just be teenage angst kicking in. The rebellious nature tends to come out predominantly at that age.

Well said, it's obvious that your brother is using video game to escape the domestic situation at home. As the original thread poster said, the parents are separated so I dare say that the family situation is not exactly that good. People think video games are the problems but it really aint that. If anything, go talk to your mom and your brother about their relationship and I'll bet that it is the root of the problem.

msgpoisoning · 2004-07-09, 00:33

i don't think anyone plays videogames all day because they really want to. Everything gets boring at sometime or another. I think there are underlying reasons that your brother is doing that. I recommend talking to your brother and asking him for the REAL reason. He may be facing problems in school, at home, he may feel extremely self-concious in public due to some reason and escape to an imaginary world, who knows? the most important thing is to talk to your brother and find out what's going on.

diabolistic · 2004-07-09, 09:28

I don't think people should jump to the conclusion that the brother is using videogames to escape reality, or use the parent's splitting-up as the source of the brother's video game fantatacism.
Is it so hard to believe that some people just LOVE video games and can't get enough of them?
Even if he gives his brother the freudian, talks to him about his relationship with his mother, and gets everything fixed, what happens the next day? Does the brother go cold-turkey? Of course not. He's developed a pattern in his life, he's set a groove for his day-to-day routines, and videogames plays a huge role in his schedule. The best way (in my opinion) to break your brother out of videogames would be to gradually introduce him to outdoor activities. A lot of people suggested female relations... that could work too. Lots of guys drop whatever they're doing for a girl, school, friends, games..
The important thing is that you don't expect him to give videogames up immediately... if at all. And don't jump to the conclusion that there is a REAL reason to why he's gaming... we're not psychologists, or psychiatrists, or psycho-analysts, or any other type of professional.
Besides, escapism isn't all that bad. I used biking as an escape when i started junior high. 6 years later, i still bike whenever i'm feeling down.

Ombrenuit · 2004-07-09, 17:47

I doubt my voice will be heard in this matter, but please listen. One of the things you can not do is to force him to give up his habit. It will make him even more resentful, and he will just end up wanting to do it more. Nothing comes from forcing him, it never works. You have to let him discover what it's doing to him, you have to discuss it with him in a non-confrontational way by taking his side in the matter. I've own both Diablo 2 and Warcraft 3, and yes I've played both for fairly long extended periods of time. However, I've found other hobbys and grown out of it. I seriously doubt he would quite school for them, and he would only do that if he felt he had no future in school (a.k.a. not good grades). He has to be encouraged, complemented, and loved to grow. You have to let him discover he's victimizing himself and confining himself so that he can't try new things. Get him excited, and don't give up. However, the last thing you do is to force him to do what you want him to do. He is his own master, and he has to make decisions for himself. Grounding never is successful for teenagers, you have to give him the freedom to determine he's doing something unhealthy, otherwise he becomes to dependent on the world to always tell him what to do. I can say that I'm around that age and a junior. I spend most of my day in front of my computer, but I've found projects to do, anime to watch, etc. There isn't a written rulebook how to live your life, but I would much rather do other things. I feel bad for the position it's putting you, I hope you can find a way to open his eyes in a resonable way. Get him thinking on his own instead of trying to do the thinking for him, especially being a sophomore in highschool.

chuckert · 2004-07-10, 22:32

Hmm, to be blunt, I say leave him be and one day he's gonna be in a bind because he's too busy in his game-world and he'll come crawling to you for help, and that's when you kick his ass and tell him to get a job. Should be a wake-up call to him after you've done that and told him you warned him a long time ago about his game addiction. Tough brotherly love I say.

2004-07-09, 09:28	Link #49
diabolistic pythagorean≠python gorax Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: look behind you...	I don't think people should jump to the conclusion that the brother is using videogames to escape reality, or use the parent's splitting-up as the source of the brother's video game fantatacism. Is it so hard to believe that some people just LOVE video games and can't get enough of them? Even if he gives his brother the freudian, talks to him about his relationship with his mother, and gets everything fixed, what happens the next day? Does the brother go cold-turkey? Of course not. He's developed a pattern in his life, he's set a groove for his day-to-day routines, and videogames plays a huge role in his schedule. The best way (in my opinion) to break your brother out of videogames would be to gradually introduce him to outdoor activities. A lot of people suggested female relations... that could work too. Lots of guys drop whatever they're doing for a girl, school, friends, games.. The important thing is that you don't expect him to give videogames up immediately... if at all. And don't jump to the conclusion that there is a REAL reason to why he's gaming... we're not psychologists, or psychiatrists, or psycho-analysts, or any other type of professional. Besides, escapism isn't all that bad. I used biking as an escape when i started junior high. 6 years later, i still bike whenever i'm feeling down. __________________ <Pabs> kcl, you sure do put out a lot of Naruto eps

2004-07-05, 08:18	Link #41
Aquatic Fox Anime Addict Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: A hovel in Nebraska	I remember a few years ago when I was aboslutly obsessed with EQ; I skipped three days of school in a row more than once just to play it all day. In the end though it was a very direct intervention that helped me, my parents took away my computer. At first I was angry constantly and yell/argued with my parents, but as time went on I recovered from what I saw as over a year of work put into my EQ char. I got a soical life, a girlfriend, and moved into alot more things which improved my life greatly.

2004-07-05, 08:45	Link #42
Dhomochevsky temporary safeguard Join Date: May 2004 Location: Germany	I used to play computer games a lot when I was younger. When I look back I think it was a great waste of lifetime. Could have done so many other things... It got even worse when I started to get into online games. My parents were worried too, but they didnt do any drastic things. They tried to limit my gaming time and started some "work for your computer time"-thing, but that didnt work well, as I still managed to play a lot. But it did help in another way: As playing for me was "illegal" most of the time and they kept telling me how bad it was for me and how worried they are, I got a guilty conscience every time I played. That didnt stop me at first, but it made me think of gaming as a bad thing. At that point I wanted to stop wasting all my time on games MYSELF. It wasnt something my parents would force me to anymore. I still play games sometimes but then I dont touch any game for a couple of month also. Now I would NEVER give a game priority to something I could do with my friends. Thats a great difference to before. Looking back I think it would have been better if my parents would have done something drastic... but that would have caused other problems in the familiy of course. There was already quite some dispute about that computer topic. But that would all have been useless if I wouldnt have wanted to stop gaming myself. And yes, its some kind of a drug. I cant agree with those who consider this a minor problem.

2004-07-06, 20:21	Link #43
srb I can see time itself! Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Kingdom of Sweden Age: 37	As others have suggested, the problem may not be with the games but with his own life. Perhaps he feels out of place and therefore turns to games as a means of escape and solace, and since he obviously likes it then he does nothing else. I injured my leg three years ago, and then after it healed I hurt it again on the exact same muscle. I had to stop playing sports, and this was in conjunction with Junior High breaking up and I lost contact with a lot of friends. I later got problems in school, and I have been diagnosed with social phobia (not the same as being anti-social, I can be pretty social when I want to with people I know. Read up about it if you're interested). I am supposed to graduate High School next year, but I haven't even finished the first grade for it yet due to my problems. He might very well suffer from something similar, since I would rather skip school and stay home and thus do things I normally do while being home (like playing games), since being in school made me feel physically and mentally ill. You need to talk to him, because personal problems like this can easily make someone turn to something for solace and then become addicted to it.

2004-07-07, 00:13	Link #44
Kyolux Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Québec, Canada Age: 40	Not to be mean, but if you really want your bro to stick off games, you'll have a hard time if he's that addicted, it's not any different then any drugs. I've been into games since I was a kid and I still like them, but I'm not as much into them as I used to be, especially since I quitted FFXI. God I made some nice friend there, but it was a big waste of time. But the heck, now I'm spending my evening/nights watching animes and get a bit of sleep in morning through early afternoon. Well only since it's summer. But yeah part of me wants to get a job and do stuff with my friends and I usually when I can. I like to do other stuff, but having no car is a big issue, and I really hate working student jobs 'cause they treat you like **** but yeah that's another issue, it's just that I can't always do anything else 'cause the town I live is, hasn't much interesting stuff for guys that aren't into the "hip" stuff unless you go kinda far. What I mean is you'll have to help your brother some kind of hobbies he'll enjoy that aren't related to video games. Sorry about that babbling.. lol.. I kinda need a life too anyway, but I have goals now and it's not like school is boring for me. ^^ Oh yeah Root, interesting game you guys are working on, I did applied :P

2004-07-07, 17:17	Link #45
AnAlPedoFileMan hey there lil girlie Join Date: May 2004	oh man u guys dont wanna know how long i was addicted to Diablo 2 and Redmoon years ago... scary scary times for me...

2004-07-07, 18:38	Link #46
Entropy Flame warrior Join Date: Jun 2004 Age: 36	Well,I gotta say,this kid reminds me of myself,in a more extreme fashion. The linux suggestion is golden.It sounds silly,but I'm willing to bet that a guy who plays those games only isn't too computer literate(otherwise he would have given up on those games long ago and played oh say Homeworld 2 or Neverwinter Nights ) and linux is known for being hard to use for novices,so I think you should do that and take away the Windows boot disk. Second of all,talk to him! A guy who plays like that probably has quite a few issues with his life.A lot of people can underestimate the pressures of school and the like,social or otherwise.Subtlely keep him away from any computer whenever possible,don't make it seem too overt.Slowly get to know him and his situation,and gradually try to ween him off the computer,take him outside,let him meet new friends,especially let him meet new friends.Heck,even let him take a look at porn if worse comes to worst.He IS going through puberty,isn't he? Another thing is don't do anything drastic.As others have mentioned,deleting accounts that have had years of being worked on makes for a suicidal kid and being a formal suicidal myself,that's not a good thing.Don't expect any methods you use that's not direct to have immediate effects,instead have patience with what you do. Sometimes I wish I had that kinda thing happen to me.I recognize that the internet addiction is actually detrimental to me,but it's such a hard thing to ween off of.Perhaps,if I did my part to prevent this from happening again,I'll change another person's life for the better...

2004-07-09, 00:33	Link #48
msgpoisoning Member Join Date: Jul 2004	i don't think anyone plays videogames all day because they really want to. Everything gets boring at sometime or another. I think there are underlying reasons that your brother is doing that. I recommend talking to your brother and asking him for the REAL reason. He may be facing problems in school, at home, he may feel extremely self-concious in public due to some reason and escape to an imaginary world, who knows? the most important thing is to talk to your brother and find out what's going on.

2004-07-09, 17:47	Link #50
Ombrenuit Day Dreams... Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: A wish to live in Paris Age: 35	I doubt my voice will be heard in this matter, but please listen. One of the things you can not do is to force him to give up his habit. It will make him even more resentful, and he will just end up wanting to do it more. Nothing comes from forcing him, it never works. You have to let him discover what it's doing to him, you have to discuss it with him in a non-confrontational way by taking his side in the matter. I've own both Diablo 2 and Warcraft 3, and yes I've played both for fairly long extended periods of time. However, I've found other hobbys and grown out of it. I seriously doubt he would quite school for them, and he would only do that if he felt he had no future in school (a.k.a. not good grades). He has to be encouraged, complemented, and loved to grow. You have to let him discover he's victimizing himself and confining himself so that he can't try new things. Get him excited, and don't give up. However, the last thing you do is to force him to do what you want him to do. He is his own master, and he has to make decisions for himself. Grounding never is successful for teenagers, you have to give him the freedom to determine he's doing something unhealthy, otherwise he becomes to dependent on the world to always tell him what to do. I can say that I'm around that age and a junior. I spend most of my day in front of my computer, but I've found projects to do, anime to watch, etc. There isn't a written rulebook how to live your life, but I would much rather do other things. I feel bad for the position it's putting you, I hope you can find a way to open his eyes in a resonable way. Get him thinking on his own instead of trying to do the thinking for him, especially being a sophomore in highschool.

2004-07-10, 22:32	Link #51
chuckert Registered Abuser Join Date: May 2004 Location: Glen Burnie, MD USA Age: 44	Hmm, to be blunt, I say leave him be and one day he's gonna be in a bind because he's too busy in his game-world and he'll come crawling to you for help, and that's when you kick his ass and tell him to get a job. Should be a wake-up call to him after you've done that and told him you warned him a long time ago about his game addiction. Tough brotherly love I say.