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Old 2010-03-26, 00:44   Link #23981
RadiantBeam
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I can never outline my fics. I've tried to do it before, but whenever I do that it always ends up evolving on me and becoming something completely different from what I originally wanted it to be. Once the story settles on a certain direction or form then I can keep up with it, but bad things happen when I try to actually outline fics.
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Old 2010-03-26, 12:51   Link #23982
kaname08
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
I can never outline my fics. I've tried to do it before, but whenever I do that it always ends up evolving on me and becoming something completely different from what I originally wanted it to be. Once the story settles on a certain direction or form then I can keep up with it, but bad things happen when I try to actually outline fics.
The same thing happens to me except it's in battle scenes. Just when I think I have most of it figured out, something eventually changes and I have to constantly make adjustments.
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Old 2010-03-26, 23:03   Link #23983
RadiantBeam
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So anyway, for a long time I've owed Raiser a Yuuno/Vivio fic request, and kind of struggled with the concept of it. I finally managed to get it pinned down and finished today, but I don't know how well the idea of it comes across, heh. I basically did the best I could with it, since it's outside my usual realm of comfort.

Set several months after "One Step Behind".

Spoiler for Paved Paradise:


Spoiler for Author's Notes:
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Last edited by RadiantBeam; 2010-03-26 at 23:16. Reason: Typos. Thanks for the catch, Sora!
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Old 2010-03-26, 23:08   Link #23984
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
So anyway, for a long time I've owed Raiser a Yuuno/Vivio fic request, and kind of struggled with the concept of it. I finally managed to get it pinned down and finished today, but I don't know how well the idea of it comes across, heh. I basically did the best I could with it, since it's outside my usual realm of comfort.

Set several months after "One Step Behind".

Spoiler for Paved Paradise:


Spoiler for Author's Notes:
Different, and thus fairly interesting in that respect. It's always fascinating to take a look at something in a new light, and get into a character's thoughts.

And I guess the song helped set the mood; someone was checking out backs. ;p
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Old 2010-03-26, 23:28   Link #23985
Fuyu no Sora
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Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
So anyway, for a long time I've owed Raiser a Yuuno/Vivio fic request, and kind of struggled with the concept of it. I finally managed to get it pinned down and finished today, but I don't know how well the idea of it comes across, heh. I basically did the best I could with it, since it's outside my usual realm of comfort.

Set several months after "One Step Behind".

Spoiler for Paved Paradise:


Spoiler for Author's Notes:
Your author's notes kill me dead, Mistress. I swear to God they do.

Onto the fic itself now: I must say that I was surprised you would write something about this particular pairing, but it was... interesting nonetheless. I'm sorry to say that I can't help but feel a bit queasy when reading that a man of 31 years of age is pining after an eighteen-year-old. I know the concept is not yours, but I still wanted to state my opinion on it.

I sympathize with Yuuno's feelings of hurt as he sees his former girlfriend become attracted to someone else; they were portrayed very well and it makes one feel somewhat bad for him, even if he's slowly learning to move on... but I still feel it's a bit too squick for me to completely feel for him.
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Old 2010-03-26, 23:45   Link #23986
deathcurse
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
So anyway, for a long time I've owed Raiser a Yuuno/Vivio fic request, and kind of struggled with the concept of it. I finally managed to get it pinned down and finished today, but I don't know how well the idea of it comes across, heh. I basically did the best I could with it, since it's outside my usual realm of comfort.

Set several months after "One Step Behind".

Spoiler for Paved Paradise:


Spoiler for Author's Notes:
Nice . I liked how Yuuno wanted that closure, yet he had still moved on. It's an interesting nebulous area that I think you caught quite well, and everyone handled it like adults (well, maybe Vivio's deliberate? ignoring of Yuuno might be a tad childish, but she's the youngest person involved here so she can be forgiven). Although it may seem selfish of Yuuno, since he was the one who let Vivio go and moved on first, his mild jealousy is still very sympathetic and understandable.
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Old 2010-03-26, 23:51   Link #23987
sniperk
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
So anyway, for a long time I've owed Raiser a Yuuno/Vivio fic request, and kind of struggled with the concept of it. I finally managed to get it pinned down and finished today, but I don't know how well the idea of it comes across, heh. I basically did the best I could with it, since it's outside my usual realm of comfort.

Set several months after "One Step Behind".

Spoiler for Paved Paradise:


Spoiler for Author's Notes:
I had to actually go back on my notes to see if I had missed something in the setting before I realized that it wasn't your setting, but Raiser's. Anyway, onto the fic itself, it did put a certain amount of closure to Vivio, but I didn't felt as much for Yuuno himself. Sure, he felt less bad about the relantionship with Vivio, but he decided to 'move on' more on a rational decision than an emotional one.
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Old 2010-03-27, 00:39   Link #23988
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
So anyway, for a long time I've owed Raiser a Yuuno/Vivio fic request, and kind of struggled with the concept of it. I finally managed to get it pinned down and finished today, but I don't know how well the idea of it comes across, heh. I basically did the best I could with it, since it's outside my usual realm of comfort.

Set several months after "One Step Behind".

Spoiler for Paved Paradise:


Spoiler for Author's Notes:
Nice, though I wouldn't call it a Vivio/Yuuno fic

Anyways, I did like it and it was well written, but something feels a bit off. Maybe it's due to the hour...

In One Step Behind, Yuuno had already moved on for the most part. Since Vivio hadn't contacted him for many weeks after she graduated, he [erroneously] assumed that meant she had lost interest in him which is why he started seeing some one new. When Vivio did meet him, she lied and said that was exactly the case and that was the end of that so far as Yuuno was concerned. Of course he still might have his doubts if it really was true, so your fic still works and seeing her with Lutecia would confirm that she lost interest in him.

... Geh, I'm not sure if I'm getting my point across or not or if I'm just babbling x_x Anyways, from Yuuno's POV, Vivio is the one who dumped him.

... Maybe I'll be able to figure out what my point is in the morning
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Old 2010-03-27, 00:52   Link #23989
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Originally Posted by 00-Raiser View Post
Anyways, from Yuuno's POV, Vivio is the one who dumped him.
I suppose I always interpreted the ending differently. When I read it I always saw as Vivio being the one who was dumped, since Yuuno never actively tried to go after her himself and just waited, and then decided to move on when she didn't come. That was my thought process, which might explain why the fic turned out the way it did.
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Old 2010-03-27, 01:03   Link #23990
sniperk
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Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
I suppose I always interpreted the ending differently. When I read it I always saw as Vivio being the one who was dumped, since Yuuno never actively tried to go after her himself and just waited, and then decided to move on when she didn't come. That was my thought process, which might explain why the fic turned out the way it did.
What's interesting about this is that since both waited for each other, both think that they were dumped. Both Yuuno and Vivio didn't activelly pursued an answer. The thing was that Yuuno 'moved on' (I still don't see that part too well) earlier. He had this girl around that was in love with him, so it was easier for him to grab the next best thing. Not that it was 'right' but he 'moved on'.
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Old 2010-03-27, 01:11   Link #23991
00-Raiser
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Well, I guess it's more a fault with One Step Behind if anything In the first place I wrote that fic because RB wanted to see what would happen if Yuuno had found some one new during the year, so I had to think of some way to get him to give up on Vivio after all the feelings he showed for her in the previous installments. Assuming that Vivio dumped him is what I came up with
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Old 2010-03-27, 01:57   Link #23992
TerranReaper
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I revised my first chapter and made some significant changes but I want your opinions as well. I'm damn sure I need to change something somewhere so please point out.

Spoiler for Chapter 1 revised:
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Old 2010-03-27, 03:08   Link #23993
Allquall
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Depends on the type of story. If it's straight forward (Hero A meets Baddie B, loses, training montage, defeats Baddie B, Meets Baddie C...lather, rinse, repeat), then on the fly works. But outlining is essential for multilayer plots. You have to remember where your threads are (especially if you find yourself picking up the story a couple months down the line), and outlining, notes, fingerpaintings, etc. are really the only way to do it. And research! You never know what kind of weird information you'll find out which will help in other stories as well as flesh out your characters.
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Old 2010-03-27, 10:55   Link #23994
DezoPenguin
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Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
So anyway, for a long time I've owed Raiser a Yuuno/Vivio fic request, and kind of struggled with the concept of it. I finally managed to get it pinned down and finished today, but I don't know how well the idea of it comes across, heh. I basically did the best I could with it, since it's outside my usual realm of comfort.

Set several months after "One Step Behind".

Spoiler for Paved Paradise:
I continue to remain utterly in awe of your writing speed. I'm not sure that I can even get my fingers to move that fast, let alone think of actual words to put down. And hey, the song's apropos for the Sankt Kaiser, right?

Vita: Don't worry, Signum; you'll always be "boob monster" to me!
Signum: No, really, feel free to give Her Majesty her proper due.
Hayate: Pay attention, you two; we're talking about the other letter in "T&A"

Okay, natter about the author's note aside, I did enjoy the fic. I think what worked the best was the way it followed up on the "unfinished business" aspect of Yuuno walking away. Basically, Vivio hesitated and Yuuno gave up, which means that they never really resolved anything between them. Thus, Yuuno is left semi-pining for Vivio because he's got that whole "what if? what if?" scenario working through his brain. In essence, only when Vivio slams the door on that by getting involved with someone else does it enable him to recognize that the situation genuinely is over and that he can move on. I especially like the part at the end, where he confronts the fact that although he was in a relationship, he wasn't really doing anything about it; the line, "He was happy with her; as happy, he believed, as he could ever be with anybody" tells the story in one sentence--and I can see at the end that he's realizing that thought for the pure BS that it was.

(Overall, this story does a very effective job of communicating what characters' feelings are without actually having them stop and say so; instead of having them go, "I feel X" they communicate the feelings clearly through other lines and actions.)
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Old 2010-03-27, 19:45   Link #23995
sniperk
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DECISIONS

Chapter 9 - Acknowledgement



Spoiler for Chapter 9:


Spoiler for Author Notes:

Last edited by sniperk; 2010-03-28 at 06:00.
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Old 2010-03-27, 21:00   Link #23996
RadiantBeam
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And research! You never know what kind of weird information you'll find out which will help in other stories as well as flesh out your characters.
I remember when I was researching ages of consent for my ViCia series and turned up all the different ages for different areas. It was pretty interesting to learn about how much some places differed from each other and how much some of them were the same. Ultimately I settled on eighteen, but it was nice to learn some additional fun facts for it.
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Old 2010-03-27, 21:06   Link #23997
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I remember when I was researching ages of consent for my ViCia series and turned up all the different ages for different areas. It was pretty interesting to learn about how much some places differed from each other and how much some of them were the same. Ultimately I settled on eighteen, but it was nice to learn some additional fun facts for it.
Considering how westernized Mid Childan society is, 18 was a good choice.
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Old 2010-03-27, 21:08   Link #23998
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Considering how westernized Mid Childan society is, 18 was a good choice.
Plus, it gave me more time to develop the relationship before the inevitable moment when they slept together. Focus less on the sexual aspect on it and more on the growth and development aspect of it.
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Old 2010-03-27, 21:27   Link #23999
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Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
Plus, it gave me more time to develop the relationship before the inevitable moment when they slept together. Focus less on the sexual aspect on it and more on the growth and development aspect of it.
Vivio: *scratches head* "Um, Cia, did we sleep together?"
Lutecia: *thinks* "Not that I can recall.
Vivio: *sadly* "I don't remember, either. But she used the past tense 'slept'!"
Lutecia: "Well, we probably fell asleep next to each other a few times..."
Vivio: *cries*
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Old 2010-03-27, 21:29   Link #24000
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Vivio: *scratches head* "Um, Cia, did we sleep together?"
Lutecia: *thinks* "Not that I can recall.
Vivio: *sadly* "I don't remember, either. But she used the past tense 'slept'!"
Lutecia: "Well, we probably fell asleep next to each other a few times..."
Vivio: *cries*
Fine, fine, when they sleep together, happy?

EDIT: Pageclaim for sleeping together!
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