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Old 2014-12-04, 07:05   Link #421
Faerie
Joseph Defense Squad
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Mars
Omg. Where to start.... at the beginning I guess!

- I like how you didn't gloss over the language barrier and I'm even happier to provide a solution for the problem
- Luna confused for Kyuubey. Well. She had it coming. Awakening teenage girls to an endless cycle of fighting and all. And at the very least Artemis is suspicious.
- that SMC jab. XD
- In all fairness, bone density seems to be somewhat improving recently.
- LOL Nagisa... never thought of it that way, but...yeah.
- Morning Rescue, the only ad that is always ok to show.
- haha, you crammed all three colours in there!
- in-joke ftw. Some people will never appreciate the benefits of carrying your head elsewhere than in the obvious place.
- OMG I.. I'm.. I'm awesome.
- good job predicting my exact reaction to Tuxedo R. LOL!
- Sayaka.. I... I know how he looks, but he could be useful... maybe. No, seriously. It's not a joke. Come on. It's not funny. Stop laughing!

And finally...
- Oh no. No... it's her. HER. Can our heroes even win now that both of them are assembled? We're going to need a plan, guys! >_< And it better be a good one. Clearly, we're in need of a brain. No... no I don't mean this one <swishes staff wildly>. A proper one. A smart one...

Awesome second chapter, can't wait for part 3
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Old 2014-12-04, 10:05   Link #422
Akuma Kousaka
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1. So when anime fans get together (KonaHooves), the first thing that comes to mind is what show(s) to binge on. Also apparently ClariS is on tour in America. Seems legit.

2. There is a lot of opportunity for mayhem when one of the inserts shares the same names as SAO's mc. Maybe they're actually in a virtual death game.

3. I'm not familiar with finer Japanese, but, does Kyouko actually have that Osakan accent? The English dub never indicated it to me otherwise.

4. Apparently this office is very bad about keeping track of its employees if you can get away with watching a feature-length film. But there's also a built-in ceiling harness for Morning Rescue; nothing unusual here folks.

5. You would tease Sayaka like that wouldn't you?

6. Yeah we know that's why Nagisa was really made, but I still prefer Mami X Kyouko just on an aesthetic level. Blonde and red are lethal together.

7. That Faerie lets you speak to each other. That Faerie will be the literal glue that holds the team together.

8. I'm Faerie anxious to see what happens.
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Old 2014-12-04, 11:12   Link #423
Kogetsu Shirogane
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... Oh... Hello... It seems I get to do this again... Someone's wanting to keep their distance for some reason... I can't imagine why...

Spoiler for Silver Review #2:

A nice follow-up chapter, I must say... Nicely timed introductions, well-placed humor, and just enough tension to keep the readers wanting more... Very well done.



Now I just need to find someone...


I like how this features something I actually said recently.

Oh... I didn't realize you came back...

Um... What's that over there!?

Kogetsu points in a random direction and runs the opposite way.

... I didn't even look yet...
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... so you think you're a king now...
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Old 2014-12-04, 11:28   Link #424
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I was expecting this to be humorous, and I have to say you're delivering on that. But more meta/4th wall than I was expecting, which is interesting I suppose and one way to create more humor at times.

I have to say I am with Sailor Faerie's reaction on "Tuxedo R" .

Also I think real question of the story, is will RRR make "Tuxedo R" more gary stu than Tatsuya Dark using his author powers?

Quote:
3. I'm not familiar with finer Japanese, but, does Kyouko actually have that Osakan accent? The English dub never indicated it to me otherwise.
I am pretty sure Kyouko did indeed have an accent (not 100% offhand if it was Osakan though).

I think me and hooves got an alright introduction, though I am curious what you have planned since you do have so many characters in this .

P.S. Did you decide to Noel anti-christmas side intentional...
Spoiler for Because Sora No Method stuff:
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Old 2014-12-04, 13:01   Link #425
Hooves
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You know, I had this sci-fi esque dream where they used auto-translates when people spoke any language. Apparently Triple_R got the same idea as well, what a strange coincidence.

Same with Kona, I'm really curious what you got in store for us with so many characters.
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Old 2014-12-04, 15:10   Link #426
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I'm really pleased at the reader feedback so far. Maybe I should do 4th wall-breaking self-insert comedies more often.

Between work, preparing for the holidays, and this fanfic, I sadly don't have time for in-depth PPPL-style replies to my readers. So I'll just pick out one comment from each reviewer to reply to.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Faerie View Post
Omg. Where to start.... at the beginning I guess!

- I like how you didn't gloss over the language barrier and I'm even happier to provide a solution for the problem
Thanks! Deciding how to handle my initial meeting with Sayaka was one of the bigger hurdles for Chapter 2. I wasn't sure how lighthearted vs. serious to go with it, but I did think it would be a bit cheap to totally ignore the language barrier. Plus, by having that barrier, it gave me a certain opportunity...


Quote:
Originally Posted by Akuma Kinomoto View Post

5. You would tease Sayaka like that wouldn't you?
In the immortal words of M. Bison, "Of course!"

But don't worry, Sayaka will still see the sparkling light in time.




Quote:
Originally Posted by Kogetsu Shirogane View Post

It's nice to see things heated up at the start of this chapter... You know, because Florida is a lot warmer than Canada or the North Pole... And while there's certainly nothing wrong with you, it's nice to see some other AS faces here to go along with you... Still, I wonder what kind of games Kirito plays...
I know Kirito likes the Persona games. A VR version of a Persona game could be a lot of fun!



Quote:
Originally Posted by Konakaga View Post

I have to say I am with Sailor Faerie's reaction on "Tuxedo R" .

Also I think real question of the story, is will RRR make "Tuxedo R" more gary stu than Tatsuya Dark using his author powers?




But in all seriousness, I'll do my best to not let my character become a Gary Stu. My plan is to have Tuxedo R stick pretty strictly to the abilities/powers of Tuxedo Mask. No more, no less.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Hooves

Same with Kona, I'm really curious what you got in store for us with so many characters.
I'm thinking this will probably run 10 chapters in total. I think I'd need about that many just to do justice to all of the AS inserts, the main non-AS characters, and the 3 or 4 key plot ideas I have.

If things work out as I hope, you should see a new chapter every 2 or 3 days until the climax.


And with that, I'm off, to fight for Canada!

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Old 2014-12-05, 03:42   Link #427
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- Kona and Hooves meeting up at McDonalds, and Hooves being a former employee, was a nifty little touch. At first I thought you meant that I would be similar to Okabe from Steins;Gate in terms of personality, but since all the AnimeSuki members presented so far are the same as their actual persona rather than being huge divergences, I'm guessing that you meant I share Okabe's character design rather than his personality?

- Triple putting a blanket over Sayaka. Awww~

- The language barrier issue was handled very nicely. It's probably a good thing the coke dealer line came before the issue was resolved, since Sayaka would have jiii'd you hard for that.

- What Faerie said about the Sailor Moon Crystal joke.

- Yuma... I wish they'd make an OVA of the spinoffs, I'm not much of a manga person. It's nice to see a purely heroic Kyouko here (though she still has her charmingly gruff attitude). I'm expecting something interesting from Madoka and Homura since they'll be the last two of the puella magi introduced.

- Though there's a lot of good comedy in this story, what got the biggest laugh out of me was when you suddenly jumped into the air and turned into Tuxedo R. You'd been played so perfectly straight as your normal self up to that point, the intentionally abrupt shift was hilarious

- holy crap Sailor Faerie is hot *shot*

- Looks like I'm showing up next chapter! Glad to join the hero team.
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Old 2014-12-05, 07:41   Link #428
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Can't wait for next chapter I hope there is a reverse trap in the story
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Old 2014-12-05, 23:53   Link #429
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“Your onii-sama is an accomplice to a madman trying to hold the entire world for ransom in some half-baked scheme to conquer the world.” Mami Tomoe stated to Miyuki, while Jinnai actually appeared amused by Mami’s insult, “Calling him ‘cold-hearted’ is too forgiving, if anything…”

Miyuki’s eyes then lit up in fierce anger.

“H-How dare you…!” protested Miyuki, “I’ll… I’ll make you pay…”

“Miyuki. Calm down.” stated the T-9006, throwing one arm in front of her.

“B-But Onii-sama…!” Miyuki protested to her brother, while gazing intensely upwards into his eyes.

“Its fine” Tatsuya stated in his ever cool and detached tone of voice, “Being called ‘cold-hearted’ is a compliment coming from someone as soft-hearted as she is. If someone with her heart was leading Japan, it would mean Japan’s tragic ruination… much like the ruination suffered by Kaname Madoka and Miki Sayaka, you could say…”

“…What’s that supposed to mean?!” asked Mami, as now her eyes were flaring up with anger.

“Oh, I think you know very well what he means…” stated Jinnai, as he leaned forwards and diagonally downwards, staring closely and menacingly into Mami’s eyes.

“And while Tatsuya doesn’t mind being called ‘cold-hearted’ by you, it appears that Miyuki doesn’t like it…” Jinnai continued, smirking and raising an eyebrow, “Why, we could even say such a thing is nothing less than a thought-crime in Miyuki’s mind…”

“Wait…” Miyuki said, as Jinnai’s particular choice of words caused an enticing idea to spring into her mind, “Does that mean…?”

Yes.” Jinnai answered, while looking towards Miyuki with a welcoming smile on his face, “It means that I want you to perform a certain move on Ms. Tomoe.”

Miyuki’s eyes then, ironically, lit up like a child’s on Christmas morning. Jinnai and Tatsuya stood next to each other, eyes closed while smugly grinning, like two adult male allies in Fate/Zero. But they would not need to nonsensically walk around in a perfect circular formation while Miyuki remained motionless in the center of the circle, for Miyuki already knew what she was to do next.

Miyuki then gestured dramatically like Usagi about to turn into Sailor Moon, but with the difference of tightly hugging her arms around her breasts, during which she cried out the name of one of her favorite magical moves. And the title of that move is also the title of…

Chapter 3 – “Big Onii-Sama is Watching Me~!” ♥



Mami Tomoe then cried out in terror, as Miyuki’s magical move caused Mami’s mind to be invaded by the image of a moustachioed Tatsuya looking sternly at her. The chambers of Mami’s mind were invaded until a key piece of information was extracted from them.

“Do you have it?” Jinnai asked Miyuki, now with a much more urgent tone.

“Yes.” Miyuki answered, “I’ve taken from her mind the exact current location of Santa Claus.”

Jinnai chuckled triumphantly over that reveal, while Tatsuya petted his sister’s head causing her to purr contentedly.

“Well done, Miyuki” he said to her while petting her head, causing her heart to go even more aflutter.

“So we’re all now going to head after Santa, right?” asked Miyuki excitedly.

“No, you need to stay here to guard Ms. Tomoe, in case any foolish wannabe rescuers arrive” replied Tatsuya.

“But Onii-sama, I want to be with you!” protested Miyuki with puppy-dog eyes.

“Don’t worry” replied Tatsuya, “I will not be gone long. Right, Jinnai?”

“Right!” Jinnai responded, invigorated at the thought of being within a hair’s breadth of successfully completing his master plan, “The two of us will fly towards Santa on the bugrom designated Red Comet, but no white devil will be stopping us today! Within the hour, Santa and his soul gem will be mine!”

Santa’s soul gem was not the only one in danger, though…


“Wow, you really need to fight a witch soon, huh?” asked Sailor Faerie, while looking at the increasingly darkening soul gem of Sayaka Miki.

“Yeah…” replied Sayaka dejectedly, “I used up a lot of magic healing myself from that terrible fall, and so I could definitely use a grief seed right about now.”

“You don’t mind using them anymore?” Sailor Faerie asked with a smile.

“I still don’t like it…” Sayaka answered, “But Kyouko was right about how I should be willing to use them if Mami is.”

“That’s the spirit!” Sailor Fairie replied, before turning her attentions towards the R residence’s computer room, “Now, I just hope we can get our little show on the road here. How’s it coming along, Triple…”

Tuxedo” he corrected.

Ugh…” Sailor Faerie replied, “Yeah, yeah, Tuxedo R. How’s it going?”

“I should have a five-way video chat with Dr. Casey, Haak, 0utf0xZer0, and totoum ready in just a couple minutes” he replied.

“What’s the hold up?” asked Sailor Faerie.

“0utf0xZer0 is still trying to perfect his transformation into a flawless fox-eared loli” Tuxedo R replied.

“He’s… what?!” Sailor Faerie asked.

“Yeah, his power is the power of transformation, but he can only pick one alternate form for himself.” Tuxedo R answered, “And so he’s consulting his vast literature on moe to ensure he gets it just right.”

“…His vast literature on moe?” Sayaka asked, with a look of stunned awe.

“0utf0xZer0 is a scholar of moe” Tuxedo R explained, “He’s authored several peer-reviewed scholarly papers on the subject, such as ‘The K-On Love Live Connection: Muses Over Afternoon Tea’ and ‘Mahjong und Panzer: Are Bodacious Cast Herds the Moe Collections of the Future?’”

“…And I thought Akemi Homura was a bit much…” Sayaka replied.

“He is a thorough genius like she is, yes.” Tuxedo R replied, “But don’t worry, he told me we can pick him up last. So I’m going ahead with a video chat with Dr. Casey, Haak, and totoum.”

Faerie and Sayaka then peered over Tuxedo R’s shoulders, while Tuxedo R sat in front of his computer and brought up the video chat.

“Hi everybody!” stated Dr. Casey cheerfully.

“Hi Dr. Nick!” Faerie replied.

“Er, it’s Dr. Casey” he responded.

“I know” Sailor Faerie replied with a bright smile, “I just always wanted to do that joke! And since you’re a Dr. …”

Sayaka blinked uneasily.

“Is everybody in North America a weirdo?” she asked herself, looking much like Mami did when Mami encountered a certain blimp-shaped witch.

“Don’t worry, we’ll make sure you eventually get back to Japan.” Dr. Casey stated to Sayaka with a smile.

“How are we going to do that?” asked Faerie.

“I’m providing the transportation!” Haak answered

“And I’m providing him with the air bubble and invisibility technology to keep you safe and secure during your travels” added Dr. Casey.

“That’s what you created with the help of your colleague Professor Oak, correct?” asked Tuxedo R.

“That’s right.” Dr. Casey replied, “Unfortunately, Professor Oak couldn’t be here today to watch us roll out our new inventions!”

“Oh, what’s he up to then?” Tuxedo R asked.

“He’s currently investigating what he considers one of the greatest mysteries in all of anime.” Dr. Casey answered.

“That sounds interesting!” interjected totoum, “What is this great mystery?”

“Professor Oak is trying to determine if Soul Eater’s Crona is male or female” Dr. Casey answered, “It’s a mystery that’s vexed him for many years.”

Haak and Tuxedo R couldn’t help but chuckle at that, while totoum smirked widely, and Faerie and Sayaka shook their heads in disbelief.

“Anyway, we can talk more about the good Professor later.” Dr. Casey stated, “I’m sending my extremely fast tiny pieces of technology over to Haak’s location now. Once he has them, he’ll be heading over to pick you up, and our journey to save Christmas can begin!”

That’s a relief…” Sayaka said, rolling her eyes at the silliness of her new allies.

They in turn could only laugh playfully over her dismay.

But something much more serious than laughter currently preoccupied Kirito, during his trip to Florida.


There you are!” exclaimed Konakaga towards Kirito, as Kona and Hooves walked into a VR gaming center together.

“Wow, you’re still trying to hit a 19-slash sword combo, huh?” Hooves asked Kirito

“I lost the VR Fighting Tournament final to Zekken when all my friends were counting on me to win the big prize.” Kirito replied, wearing a VR helmet while practicing sword slashes, “I will not let something like that happen again. And the only way to beat Zekken is to come up with a move even more impressive than hers!”

“That’s impressive dedication” Kona stated, “But I hope you can join Hooves and me for our next anime marathon, at least!”

“No problem.” Kirito replied, thrusting his arms back and forth, “I should have this mastered in time for that. Did you get the tickets?”

“Yep!” Hooves chimed in, “The three of us will all be going to ClariS’ big concert tomorrow night!”

“That’ll cheer you up, right?” Kona asked Kirito.

“Only thing that could make me happier than that would be meeting Mami Tomoe in person!” Kirito said.

Mami herself would probably appreciate such a meeting given her current predicament, and it was that same predicament that preoccupied Sayaka right now.


“We really need to get a move on!” Sayaka protested to Tuxedo R.

“Don’t worry, Haak should be here soon.” Tuxedo R replied, “Then we’ll head to pick up Dr. Casey, totoum, and 0utf0xZer0, in that order”

“Wow, that’ll take us from America to Europe and then back to Canada, won’t it?” asked Sailor Faerie.

“Factoring in Sayaka, we’ll be as diverse as the United Nations.” Tuxedo R stated.

“A real Justice League of Anime, huh?” Sailor Faerie asked with a grin.

“Sounds nice, but we’ll have to choose a different name since the ‘JLA’ acronym is already taken.” Tuxedo R stated.

“Hhhmmm…good point…” mused Sailor Faerie, “I wonder what we should call ourselves?”

Sigh…” went Sayaka, “Weirdos and nerds…”

“This from a member of a group called the Puella Magi Holy Quintet?” Tuxedo R quipped with a grin and a raised eyebrow.

“That’s different, since any name that Mami comes up with is automatically good!” Sayaka replied.

“It’s cute how loyal you are to your senpai!” Sailor Faerie chimed in.

“I just hope Senpai Haak will be noticing us soon...” Tuxedo R said, himself growing impatient.

“And so he will!” exclaimed Haak, making his dramatic entrance through the front door of Tuxedo R’s house.

“Wow, what perfect timing.” Tuxedo R replied.

“It's like we're in a fanfic!” Sailor Faerie exclaimed with a bright smile and a tip of her head.

Haak had on a white shirt with a silver H symbol on the front. His head also had the shape and appearance of a golden star. A silver plaid shirt was tied around his waist. Finally, he was wearing blue jeans and silver sneakers.

“You must like silver” Tuxedo R said.

“It goes well with our mode of transportation.” Haak replied.

“And what’s that?” asked Sailor Faerie excitedly, “Is it a flying delorean?! I’ve always wanted to fly in one of those.”

“No, I have something even more unique.” Haak replied, before opening up the front door of Tuxedo R’s house, and turning about to look upwards to the sky.

Haak then dramatically stretched out one arm and hand, and cried “To me, my Segway!

“No…” Sayaka said.

“He can’t be serious?” Sailor Faerie asked.

“Ha ha ha ha ha!” Tuxedo R laughed at the sight.

There, now turning visible on the top of Tuxedo R’s front lawn was Haak’s Silver Segway!

Sayaka was starting to break down into demented laughter unheard of since the end of Madoka Magica Episode 7.

“We’re going to go across North America and Europe on a segway?” Sailor Faerie asked.

“What’s wrong with segways?” protested Haak, “They’re cool! Especially this one, since the back of it can extend as far as I want it to. This segway can also reach super-sonic speeds, and move across the water!”

“So that’s why Dr. Casey gave you the air bubble technology” Tuxedo R said contemplatively, stroking his chin, “To ensure we could all breath while traveling that fast.”

“Right.” Haak replied, “And the invisibility technology ensures that nobody will see us while we travel.”

“That should spare us some embarrassment at least.” Tuxedo R stated with a grin.

“Sayaka, are you Ok?” asked Sailor Faerie, concerned for her new friend experiencing delirious laughter.

“…Maybe I had the wrong idea about you guys…” Sayaka said with a bright smile, while calming down from her laughter, "To beat someone as insane as Katsuhiko Jinnai takes even more insane heroes! And you guys meet that requirement!”

“That’s right!” Tuxedo R exclaimed.

“Just like Okabe, we’re all mad scientistos!” Haak added in, “Now let’s get going to save Christmas!”


But unfortunately, Christmas might soon be beyond saving, as Santa Claus was currently being threatened by the approaching feet of Tatsuya Dark and the aforementioned insane Katsuhiko Jinnai…

“They’ve jumped off of that gigantic flying bug, and they’re moving towards us…” said Kyouko, as she carefully peered out through the cave entrance.

“What are we going to do?!” cried Nagisa, running around in circles, terrified, “Somebody save us! Somebody save us! Somebody save us!”

Sigh…” went Kyouko, “Do you want some cheese with that whine?”

“Cheese?” Nagisa asked, “Yes, I always love cheese! Cheese please!”

“Ok, yeah, I should have realized that saying wouldn’t work on you…” Kyouko replied, “But look, calm down, Ok? We’ll think of something…”

“Your illusionary magic!” Nagisa perked up, “Use it to make us look like reindeer or something.”

“Not a bad idea, normally.” Kyouko admitted, “But I doubt Jinnai would fall for that trick a second time…”

“Good point…” Nagisa replied, dejectedly.


“Can you taste it, Tatsuya?” Jinnai stated, while crunching his right hand into a ravenous clutching formation, “Right inside that cave lays our ultimate victory, and does it ever taste good!”

“It tastes almost as good as Miyuki’s cooking.” Tatsuya replied with a slight grin, “I know that you’re a big School Days fan, Jinnai, given what happened to a certain Makoto in it…”

Ah yes, someone with his accursed name and likeness enduring such a fitting end…” Jinnai replied, “Do you know that I watched that one scene on repeat for a full hour?”

“Then you must really like a certain character.” Tatsuya said with a grin, “I guess you can’t wait to have the whole Sekai in your hands, huh?”

Jinnai laughed very loudly at that pun, while Kyouko and Nagisa continued to sweat bullets. But somebody else was feeling renewed passion and vigor. And that person is Santa Claus!


“Enough” stated Santa Claus, proudly standing up, “I will not stand idly by any longer while others endure great endangerment and risk to protect me.”

“But dear…!” protested Ms. Claus.

“There’s no buts…” Santa Claus replied, “I know I have the power necessary to fight Jinnai on even terms!”

“Your soul gem is able to draw life energy from adoring children all over the world, right?” Kyouko asked.

“Just like Goku’s spirit bomb!” exclaimed Nagisa.

“That’s right.” Santa Claus replied, “And that energy is especially high this time of year.”

“Ok, so let’s say you manage to take Jinnai out in a long, long fight.” Kyouko stated, “Do you think Nagisa and I can handle Tatsuya?”

“That is a problem…” Nagisa chimed in.

“I know what you’re saying…” said Santa Claus, “But… what other choice do we have?”

“…We really could use a hero right now…” Kyouko said under her breath.

“Or perhaps a powerful anti-hero…” – Kogetsu Shirogane

Then, suddenly, came a sniper shot!

Tatsuya moved just fast enough to push Jinnai out of the way of the shot.

“Where did that come from?!” bellowed Jinnai angrily, “Who shot at us?!”

Loud and epic music started playing, while Jinnai and Tatsuya looked up to the sky.

“That music is almost epic enough for me…” Tatsuya commented.

Hovering high in the sky was a one-winged champion in red and purple, with long wavy silvery hair.

“I am Akuma Kinomoto, the herald of Akuma Homura” he declared, “And you will go no further in threatening her friends!”

“Her friends?” mocked Jinnai, “Ha! We all know there’s only one person that Akemi Homura truly cares about!”

“Perhaps so, but that means that my master must care at least some about her friend’s other friends.” Akuma Kinomoto stated, “And you have been in conflict with almost all of them as of late! Akuma Homura will stand by no longer.”

“So she sent you to try to deal with me, huh?” asked Jinnai, “Your master might think she’s some bigshot now, but much of her power is taken up just maintaining a dream world for some empty-headed bubble gum-haired girl. Akuma Homura can rule over Kaname Madoka for all I care, but I will rule over everything else!”

“And are you willing to hurt Madoka’s friends in order to achieve that?” asked Akuma Kinomoto, with a raised eyebrow.

“Of course!” Jinnai replied, quoting M. Bison.

“Then I have no choice but to stop you here and now!” declared Akuma Kinomoto.

“Excellent” Jinnai replied, “Because nobody gets more epic theme music than me! Bring. It. On!


To Be Continued…

-------------------------------------------------------

AS Character images:


Akuma Kinomoto

Other AS character images will be produced over the weekend, hopefully. But this is the only one that could be completed in time for this fanfic update.

Note - 0utf0xZer0's character concept is his own, but I tweaked it slightly. I squeezed in as many AS member-inserts as I could, so please bear with me if you don't have a speaking role yet. It is coming!

Also, more anime characters will appear soon - They also have been pushed back to squeeze in as many AS member-inserts as possible.

Anyway, I really hope readers enjoy Chapter 3!


Anime shows featured in this chapter:
Puella Magi Madoka Magica (Sayaka, Mami, Kyouko, Nagisa, references to Homura and Madoka, and overall setting)
El Hazard: The Magnificent World (fanfic version of main villain - Katsuhiko Jinnai, also explicit references to bugrom and Makoto Mizuhara)
Mahouka Koukou no Rettousei (Tatsuya Dark, Miyuki Dark)
Also numerous anime references - will explain any if requested.
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Last edited by Triple_R; 2014-12-22 at 17:57. Reason: Name misspelling fixed. ;)
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Old 2014-12-06, 00:40   Link #430
Akuma Kousaka
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Is Mrs. Claus actually the Holy Grail?

Anyway, that was a lot more dialog than before, but that's not a bad thing. A dense chapter of dialog is always more difficult than a dense chapter of description, from what little creative writing experiences (casually and academically) I've had.

Meanwhile in Florida...I'm guessing the ClariS concert is going to have a song that acts as some kinda power-up.

I was wondering what if any picture you were going to use for that crimson angel, turns out photoshop saves the day (or saves Madoka friends).
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Old 2014-12-06, 09:03   Link #431
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Haak then dramatically stretched out one arm and hand, and cried “To me, my Segway!”
Fuck yeah! It's the unstoppable Silver Segway, bitches! Disregard the constabulary! DX<
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Old 2014-12-07, 14:32   Link #432
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A couple AS Character image updates:


Dr. Casey



Haak


0utf0xZer0 is currently being worked on, and I hope his character will be ready later today or tomorrow sometime.

Thanks to Haak and Akuma Kinomoto for the enthusiastic fanfic responses!


Note - I hope to have Chapter 4 up either later tonight, or sometime tomorrow. If you want to be in this fanfic, and you're not already in it (or slated to be in it), then please reply to this thread asking to be in the fanfic within the next day or two. 95% of the plotline is now settled, and I soon won't have the wiggle room to add more AS inserts.

Probably after Chapter 4, and definitely after Chapter 5, it'll be too late to add-in more characters given my current plans (well, aside from minor cameo roles, perhaps).
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Old 2014-12-07, 21:30   Link #433
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I am not sure what had me laughing more from chapter, the segway, or moefox's dilemma . Was even more amusing than previous chapters.

Reading about my self is a bit awkward feeling at first , hope I don't feel that in future chapters.

I also liked Akuma Kinomoto's intro a good bit.
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Old 2014-12-08, 10:30   Link #434
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♪ They see me rollin’, they hatin’, Patrolling they tryin’ to catch me ridin’ dirty, tryin’ to catch me ridin’ dirty, trying to catch me ridin’ dirty…♪

“Well at least Haak seems to be enjoying this.” said Dr. Casey with a grin, commenting on Haak’s enthusiastic singing as Haak stood at the front of the Silver Segway line.

Dr. Casey had already been picked up by Haak, Tuxedo R, Sailor Faerie, and Sayaka. Now the five of them were all on their way across the Atlantic Ocean, to pick up totoum!

“As silly as this all is, it is also kinda amazing…” stated Sayaka, awed at the sight of Atlantic Ocean all around her as far as the eye could see, while the five of them sort of surfed across it on a segway of all things.

“Still...” began Tuxedo R in reply, “I’d think that Weird Al’s “White and Nerdy” would fit our current situation more than “Ridin’ Dirty” does!”

“Ha ha!” laughed Sailor Faerie, “Definitely.”

“Who’s Weird Al?” asked Sayaka

“He sings parody versions of popular songs” replied Sailor Faerie, “I have one of his music CDs if you’d like to listen to it!”

“Oh, sure, I love listening to music!” Sayaka replied enthusiastically.

“You really think Sayaka will recognize any of the songs Weird Al is poking fun at?” Tuxedo R asked Sailor Faerie while he grinned and raised an eyebrow.

“Well, there’s at least one of them she probably knows…” Sailor Faerie replied, “Michael Jackson is big even in Japan, right?”

“The Prince of Pop!” exclaimed Sayaka, “Yeah, as a fan of classical and pop music, I definitely know who Michael Jackson is. I listened to a few of his songs, even though I don’t know English well.”

“Well, Weird Al did a parody version of one of Jackson’s most famous songs, Beat it!” Sailor Faerie said to Sayaka, “Here, let me set it up for you.”

Sailor Faerie then handed a CD player and attached ear pieces to Sayaka. Sayaka placed the ear pieces into her ears, while Sailor Faerie ensured that the CD was set to play on just the right song.

“This song should make you think of Kyouko…” said Haak.

Dr. Casey grinned widely at that, while Tuxedo R chuckled over it.

After a minute or two of listening to the song, Sayaka could definitely understand why Haak cracked that joke. She laughed loudly over that.

“Yeah, this song suits Kyouko perfectly!” Sayaka exclaimed with a bright smile.

For a brief but wondrous moment, everything seemed like a simple but amazing journey. Sayaka and her new friends could briefly forget about the very high stakes at play, and just enjoy the currently exceptional scenery and shooting the breeze with friends. But they’d sadly be yanked back into reality as the scenery suddenly became very foggy, and a creaky ancient abandoned ship would slowly come into focus.

“Is that a grief seed embedded into that ship?” asked Dr. Casey, as he looked at it through a looking glass.

“It is!” cried out Sayaka, as she became very energized at the idea of finding a grief seed.

“Ok guys, let’s get ready to rumble!” exclaimed Haak, at the thought of a big witch fight on the middle of the ocean.

At the very same time, another big fight was happening elsewhere, as we now turn to…

Chapter 4 – Danced With The Devil In the Pale Moonlight



Scorched Earth exclaimed Emperor Jinnai.

“Madoka Magia Meteor!” exclaimed Akuma Kinomoto.

Ginormous spinning ball of white hot but greenish colored flame held 10 feet above Jinnai’s head by his outstretched arms, is met by a scintillating streaking strong meteorite of purplish hue striking against it! Absolutely deadly ball of flames goes up in a thunderous bang creating a plume of spoke not unlike a cloud left in the wake of a volcanic eruption.

Tatsuya Dark looks on calmly, shining brightly. This is due to the radiant flames left in the wake of this cacophonous careening clash of immensely powerful attacks.

Nagisa Momoe looks on in frightful wonderment, as a sternly looking Kyouko looks on while sweating so many bullets it was as though her friend Mami was with her again.

Then, out of thick dark greyish smoke, comes the frantic flying figure of Jinnai, grunting a battle cry while wielding a shimmering scarlet sword.

Akuma Kinomoto grits his teeth, and extends out the knife section of his bayonet sniper rifle, just quickly enough to block Jinnai’s attack, as the two blades clash as violently as their earlier magical attacks.

After a brief test of strength, where both combatants try to push their blades through the other one’s blade, an acceptance of a stalemate is made, and so both disengage to fly in opposite directions. Then a tightly contested jousting match begins in the cool crisp skies of the North Pole, as colorful sparks fly from sword and sword-length blade clanging against one another.

“It’s like a festival of lights…” said Nagisa, with her eyes wide and reflecting many such lights.

“But these lights are much more deadly than fireworks…” Kyouko replied.

“Emperor Jinnai is powerful enough to fight evenly with a herald of Akuma Homura herself.” Nagisa stated.

“I’m surprised that Jinnai isn’t yet dominating this fight.” Kyouko stated.

“Is Jinnai really that powerful?” asked Nagisa, turning towards Kyouko with a look of shock and awe in her eyes.

“He made the wish that Kyubey thought Madoka wanted to make.” Kyouko stated, “He wished for limitless power.”

“Limitless power…” Nagisa stated.

“The thing is that there’s only so much power that even a soulless body can safely bring forward in any one instance.” Kyouko explained, “But Jinnai’s storage of power really is limitless.”

“So if he combines Santa’s soul gem with his own…” Nagisa said, as a light-bulb went off above her read, “Given Santa’s ability to draw forth on the energies of everyone on Earth who loves him…”

“Right” Kyouko confirmed, “That combination would be totally insane. And that’s why we can’t let Santa fall into Jinnai’s hands!”

But Jinnai wasn’t the only threat to Santa, as Kyouko would be reminded though the sight of the T-9006 pointing his odd gun upwards into the sky.

Tatsuya squinted slightly while staring closely at Akuma Kinomoto and Emperor Jinnai struggling against each other in mid-air. He was patiently waiting for just the right moment when there would be enough distance between Kinomoto and Jinnai for Tatsuya to safely shoot at Kinomoto without having to worry about accidentally striking Jinnai.

But before that moment could arrive, Tatsuya would sense the presence of a gun pointed towards the back of his head, at point blank range. Even Tatsuya was startled by just who was holding that gun…

“So Akuma Homura herself has finally made an appearance…” Tatsuya said.

It was a strange sight, as Akuma Homura was clad in her new demonic and elegant attire, yet holding a gun in the same fashion as she frequently did as a Puella Magi.

“So even as a demon goddess you prefer to use simple firearms.” Tatsuya stated with a grin.

“It is what I am used to.” Akuma Homura replied, “Plus, I’d prefer not to waste much magical power in direct intervention with the wider world.”

“So Jinnai is correct in his assessment of how much continuous power-use it takes for you to just maintain this world and hold Madoka in check as a human” Tatsuya stated.

“Don’t get overconfident, Tatsuya.” Homura replied coldly, “Even you can’t hope to dodge a bullet at this close of a range. Now, drop your weapon.”

Would Homura play the hero once more? Could she and her herald save Christmas all on their own? As fortunate as that would be, it might also be necessary, given the struggles currently facing Sayaka and her new friends.


“So this witch fight includes a ship full of zombie pirates” stated Dr. Casey, taking in the sight, as well as the sounds of noisy chatter and clamor coming from them.

“And they appear to be led by Davey Jones from Disney’s Dead Man’s Chest movie” added in Sailor Faerie with a smile but also a wince.

I will have your soul!” cried ‘Davey Jones’ toward those on Haak’s Silver Segway.

“I guess you’re now reminded of Kyubey again, eh?” Tuxedo R asked Sayaka.

“Y-Yeah” she replied sheepishly, “Though this reminder is a lot uglier looking than Luna is!”

“As grotesque as him and his pirates are, I’m more worried about those cannon chambers on the sides of his ship…” stated Dr. Casey.

“Hold on tight, people! We’re taking evasive action!” shouted Haak, as he began moving the segway about wildly to try to avoid oncoming cannon fire.

Davey Jones and his pirates started cackling loudly at the sight of the Silver Segway shifting back and forth.

“Ok, I’m not going to be just some sitting duck” exclaimed Sailor Faerie, “It’s time to fight back!”

“Right!” cried Sayaka in agreement.

Sailor Faerie and Sayaka then both dramatically leapt off of the Silver Segway! Sailor Faerie took to the sky, taking shots from above with powerful whitish blasts from her ramhead staff. Those shots successfully struck down about five zombie pirates.

Sayaka’s attack was more courageous, but also more reckless, as she landed right in the midst of Davey Jones’ men! With fierce battle cries, and duel-wielding blades, Sayaka started slicing and dicing through a dozen of them as they grunted in pain.

“She’s going to get hurt if she keeps that up for long.” Dr. Casey said.

“Don’t worry.” Tuxedo_R said, “Where there’s a rose, there’s a way!”

Tuxedo R then also leapt off of the Silver Segway, twirled about in the air, and began throwing a barrage of roses at the zombie pirates below!

Five roses hit their marks, all impaling into the left side of the chest of each zombie pirate.

“Right in the heart!” Haak stated, as the five zombie pirates now fell over, literally heartbroken.

“A guy in a tuxedo and a top hat defeating zombie pirates with a bunch of roses…” said a very amused Sailor Faerie, “Now I’ve seen everything!”

“Oh, you haven’t seen everything yet, my dear!” exclaimed Davey Jones, as he successfully managed to grab hold of Sayaka’s cape, and hurl her violently into the side of the ship.

Summon the Kraken!” commanded Davey Jones.

“Sayaka, are you Ok?” asked Tuxedo R, as he landed stealthily on one knee, next to Sayaka’s now fallen form.

“Y-Yeah” she replied, as Tuxedo R helped her to her feet.

“But we might not be Ok for long!” shouted Sailor Faerie, while she blasted away at zombie pirates to keep the coast clear for Sayaka and Tuxedo R.

There emerging part of the way up out of the water was a truly monstrous sight.

“So that’s the Kraken…” said Dr. Casey.

“I would guess that’s the real witch here!” exclaimed Haak.

“Right!” Sayaka confirmed.

“But how are we going to defeat that… that thing?!” asked Sailor Faerie.

“Ha ha ha ha ha ha…!” cackled Davey Jones.

But Davey Jones wouldn’t be the only villain laughing this day…


Homura thought she saw Tatsuya dropping his gun. But it was an optical illusion caused by holograms and magic so efficient that it managed to fool even her! Tatsuya took advantage of the most momentary of distractions and body relaxing on Homura’s part. Such tiny a moment was all Tatsuya needed to quickly duck down, and swipe his leg in a wide-arc motion, effectively knocking Homura off of her feet!

Homura, thoroughly shocked, landed with a thud and face first. Tatsuya then rapidly leapt on top of her, with all the skill and swiftness of an elite UFC fighter!

Master!” cried out Akuma Kinomoto, horrified at the sight.

Kinomoto had briefly had Jinnai on the ropes, but now Kinomoto would also be brought down by a momentary distraction.

Jinnai growled angrily as he charged at Kinomoto, sending Kinomoto flying with a desperate punch! Kinomoto was sent flying, at over 100 mph, towards a snow cliff in the distance!

Tatsuya then pulled out some strange contraption from his trench-coat, and placed it right between Homura’s shoulder blades. Homura cried out in horror as this contraption was activated, ensnaring her within some orange hued, solidified light cage! But that was not all this contraption would do.

“Excellent work, Tatsuya!” exclaimed Jinnai, as he flew down, to land on his feet right next to Tatsuya.

“Do you have her firmly under control?” Jinnai asked Tatsuya.

“Yes.” Tatsuya answered, while operating a complex controlling mechanism for the contraption he had just laid on Homura, “She has done a truly remarkable job in protecting the bulk of her power from my attempts to hack into it. But her physical form itself is now under our control, and she will not be able to attack us directly.”

Ha ha ha ha ha!” laughed Jinnai triumphantly, “Akuma Homura herself now lies at our feet!

“You won’t get away with this!” Homura exclaimed with fierce anger.

“Oh? And who’s going to save you? Sayaka?” asked Jinnai with a wide grin and a raised eyebrow.

Even Tatsuya was deeply amused by that, grinning widely while Jinnai chuckled.

‘My master!’ cried out Akuma Kinomoto telepathically to her, as he had recovered from Jinnai’s punch, "Don’t worry, I will save you!”

‘No…’ Akuma Homura replied to him telepathically, ‘These contemptible fiends are too much… you must retreat. Retreat and find… find Sayaka. Find her, and whatever allies you can, and return to save me!’

‘But Master…!’ protested Kinomoto.

‘No buts!’ Homura replied, ‘There is too much at stake now. Madoka… Madoka is now beyond my ability to protect! Hurry, Kinomoto!’

Akuma Kinomoto briefly lowered his head in shame, but after taking a deep breath, he felt a renewed passion to help his master. He then desperately flew off, hoping to find Sayaka as soon as possible!

“Now to get Santa Claus!” Jinnai exclaimed, while pumping a fist, and looking towards the cave where he expects to find Santa Claus.

But while Jinnai was excitedly exuberant, the same couldn’t be said for Sayaka and her friends.


A noisome Kraken-witch flailed about with great movements of her mighty tentacles! Loud splashes of whitish water whisked through the air, drenching the hair of Haak and Dr. Casey, as Haak tried his best to maneuver the Silver Segway around the Kraken. Sailor Faerie’s ramhead staff blasts had thankfully managed to keep the Kraken away from the ship, but more damage would be needed to bring the witch down.

So Tuxedo R threw a bouquet’s worth of roses at the Kraken, but to no avail.

“You really thought that would work?” Sailor Faerie asked him playfully, with a raised eyebrow.

“Well, I thought it was worth a try at least.” Tuxedo R replied sheepishly, shrugging his shoulders.

But soon those shoulders would be caught in the iron grip of Davey Jones! Tuxedo R grunted in pain as he was bear-hugged from behind!

Sayaka swiftly swung her sword forward in a large arc, to try to hack at Davey Jones to make him drop Tuxedo R. But she was prevented from completing the rescue, by taking a knife to the abdomen from a zombie pirate.

“Sayaka!” cried out Sailor Faerie, at the sight of her new friend bleeding from the stomach.

“Oh, enough of this shit!” exclaimed Haak, “Take control of the Segway, Casey!”

Dr. Casey looked on in amazement as Haak leapt off of his segway, and delivered a flying jumpkick that would make Ryouta Murakami proud! That flying jumpkick landed right to the face of Davey Jones, knocking him back and knocking him out, freeing Tuxedo R in the process.

“Nice save…” Tuxedo R said, while Haak helped him to his feet.

“Sayaka, why aren’t you healing your wound?” Tuxedo R asked, turning his attentions to her.

“My soul gem has only a sliver of light left” she cried, “I can’t afford to use much more magic, or… or!”

“Faerie, can you finish the Kraken off soon?” Dr. Casey asked her with a subtle sense of urgency in his voice.

“My blasts are hurting her some, thankfully” Sailor Faerie said, while she continued blasting at the creature from above, “And I’ve managed to sort of corral her by flying around her and shooting at her from all directions, but…”

“It’s not powerful enough?” Dr. Casey asked.

“It would be powerful enough if I could charge up for a minute or two…” Sailor Faerie said, “But if I did that, then the Kraken would get free, and she’d probably wreck the ship and everybody else with it!”

“If only Sailor Moon was here…” Dr. Casey said.

“Will a cute fox-eared magical girl do instead?” came an incredibly adorable voice from above.

That voice caught everybody’s attention, as all but Sailor Faerie looked upwards to catch a glimpse of an orange and yellow attired magical girl arriving on the scene.

“Don’t worry, Sayaka!” this new magical girl said to the Puella Magi veteran, “I’ll have this case all tied up in a jiffy!”

But would Santa Claus also be tied up soon?


“I’m afraid that Santa Claus is gone…” The T-9006 stated, after carefully scanning the nearby cave.

“What?!” Jinnai asked angrily.

“There are no longer any human or magi life signs coming from the cave.” Tatsuya said, “I suspect that they took advantage of our conflict with Homura and her herald, in order to use illusionary magic to camouflage themselves and flee.”

“Dammit!” exclaimed Jinnai.

“Relax, your choice to attach a miniature homing beacon to Santa’s sleigh is now proving useful.” Tatsuya replied.

“Oh? Are you picking up something from it?!” asked Jinnai with great urgency.

“Yes.” Tatsuya confirmed, “It looks like Santa raced to the location of his sleigh, and flew off, likely for help.”

“Where is he headed?” asked Jinnai

“Judging by the trajectory I’m getting from the Santa’s sleigh homing beacon…” Tatsuya stated, while looking at a different mechanism than the one that he was using to keep Homura contained, “It appears that he’s heading for the state of Florida in America.”


Konakaga just felt a cold wind brush across her face. It left her feeling strangely alarmed and alerted.

“Kona, is something wrong?” Hooves asked her.

“You look a bit lost in thought” Kirito added in a concerned tone.

It was very late evening in warm Florida, and so Kona, Kirito, and Hooves had decided to grab a quick ice cream snack before calling it a night. Kirito had finished his practice for the day, and was eager to spend some quality time with friends. But now he was concerned by the look on the face of one of his friends.

“I don’t know…” Kona answered Hooves after a brief but tense pause, “I just had a very ominous feeling for some reason.”

“I hope it’s not as bad as I felt when Alice left ClariS.” Kirito replied, “That was so staggeringly sad…”

“No, I don’t feel sad exactly” Kona responded, “Just… very anxious.”

“Well, I’ve learned over time that your hunches tend to be correct, Kona.” Hooves said, “So just to be on the safe side, let’s make sure our relic fragments are ready to go!”

“It’s always a good idea to have your main weapons ready in a pinch, anyway” Kirito stated.

“Right” Kona said, “I’ll put a call in to headquarters while we enjoy some ice cream together.”

“I just hope nothing bad will happen here in Florida…” Hooves stated.


Florida?” asked a perplexed Jinnai, “Why there? What could Santa hope to find there?”

“…ClariS’ upcoming music concert…” Tatsuya mused to himself.

“I have had suspicions about ClariS, and some of their fans and friends” the T-9006 stated, “Some of them might have special powers, and Santa may be hoping that they will be enough to help him overcome us in a retaking of the North Pole.”

“I see…” said Jinnai, while stroking his chin contemplatively, trying to determine what to do next.

“I think it’s time you used all of your trump cards, Jinnai…” the T-9006 whispered to him, while a slightly tearful Akuma Homura looked up at the two villains in horror.

A most fearsome smile stretched slowly across Jinnai’s face, after hearing the T-9006’s most tempting suggestion. Jinnai then opened his mouth, and…

“Oh, I know what’s coming now…” – Kogetsu Shirogane

“Bwa-ha-ha-hahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAahahahahAHA-HA-HA~!!!”

To Be Continued…

----------------------------------

AS Character images:


M0ef0xZer0 (aka 0utf0XZer0 )


I forgot to link to Jinnai's theme music before. The video for it spoils some of my ideas for an old PPPL-related fanfic, but that's unlikely to ever be wrote now, so don't worry about it. Hope people enjoy the theme song.


Note - Sorry about not getting more anime characters in yet, but hopefully the entrance of a certain prominent one makes up for that some.

I really want to get some feedback for readers who have AS inserts in this story, because this is the first time I have many of us in action scenes. Are you pleased with how you're being wrote in that? Ok with your attack moves, and overall approach to combat? I'm definitely open to suggestion here.

I also now have a lot of dialogue for some AS inserts, so feedback on that would be a big help as well.

In any event, I hope everybody really enjoys Chapter 4!


Anime shows featured in this chapter:
Puella Magi Madoka Magica (Sayaka, Mami, Kyouko, Nagisa, Akuma Homura, and overall setting)
El Hazard: The Magnificent World (fanfic version of main villain - Katsuhiko Jinnai)
Mahouka Koukou no Rettousei (Tatsuya Dark)
Other anime references - will explain any if requested.
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Last edited by Triple_R; 2014-12-22 at 17:58. Reason: Added link to Jinnai's theme music; made weapon change on AK's suggestion
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Old 2014-12-08, 11:42   Link #435
Akuma Kousaka
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Wooouuuld've preferred if I just stuck to a sniper rifle. Although, the sword thing might work if you sell it as a bayonet (where would I carry a sniper rifle and a large sword at the same time anyway?), so I can sword while I snipe, and snipe while I sword. Of course, I'm guessing my magical attacks are coming from from my gunsword, so there's that.

Trapped by her own wish, trapped by Kyubey, and now trapped by Jinnai. Homura suffers James Bondage syndrome badly Also, what's this about an organization? The Badass Nee-sama known as Konakaga? Always gotta be careful of the unassuming ones I suppose.

Meanwhile, we Segway to a scene in the Atlantic Ocean, as Sayaka and company are having a Thriller of a time, Kraken jokes before confronting Johnny Depp as they try to Outfo--

Okay I'll stop now.

But yeah, I guess the big question now is whether Homura's gonna release her grip on Madoka so she can help out. Also, can Sayaka summon Oktavia in this continuity?
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Old 2014-12-08, 16:39   Link #436
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I'd probably write myself as a lot more obscene and nowhere near as competent but otherwise I think you've got me down well, (especially at the beginning )
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Old 2014-12-08, 23:37   Link #437
0utf0xZer0
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Triple_R View Post
“Still...” began Tuxedo R in reply, “I’d think that Weird Al’s “White and Nerdy” would fit our current situation more than “Ridin’ Dirty” does!”
My first thought upon reading the opening line for this chapter was "wait, doesn't the Weird Al version of this actually feature a Segway? Great minds think alike."

Quote:
“I’ll have this case all tied up in a jiffy!”
Clever, particularly if you plan to actually have me utilize Itsuki's power set.

About my only regret with this chapter is apparently none of you got to witness my transformation sequence. I want reactions people.
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Old 2014-12-09, 02:50   Link #438
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Spoiler for thoughts:
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Old 2014-12-10, 07:44   Link #439
Triple_R
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Konakaga View Post
I am not sure what had me laughing more from chapter, the segway, or moefox's dilemma . Was even more amusing than previous chapters.
I'm really glad you liked Chapter 3. Thanks for the encouragement!


Quote:
Originally Posted by Akuma Kinomoto View Post

Trapped by her own wish, trapped by Kyubey, and now trapped by Jinnai.
A Triple R special!


Quote:
Homura suffers James Bondage syndrome badly
But would she make a good Bond girl? Hhhmmm... might manage to make Madoka jealous. Homura should try it!


Quote:
Meanwhile, we Segway to a scene in the Atlantic Ocean, as Sayaka and company are having a Thriller of a time, Kraken jokes before confronting Johnny Depp as they try to Outfo--
I must tip my rather large top hat to that. Well done!


Quote:
Originally Posted by Haak View Post
I'd probably write myself as a lot more obscene and nowhere near as competent but otherwise I think you've got me down well, (especially at the beginning )
Not enough fucks given, and not enough pratfalls. Gotcha. I'm glad you're enjoying your character other than that.


Quote:
Originally Posted by 0utf0xZer0 View Post
My first thought upon reading the opening line for this chapter was "wait, doesn't the Weird Al version of this actually feature a Segway? Great minds think alike."
It does indeed! Good point.



Quote:
Clever, particularly if you plan to actually have me utilize Itsuki's power set.




Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Casey View Post

- "I guess you can't wait to have the whole Sekai in your hands, huh?"
I figured you'd like that bit.


Quote:

- Hmm... so Santa would be able to defeat Jinnai more easily if more kids believed in Santa. All those precocious kids that stop believing in him at a young age are endangering the world. D:
lol


Quote:

- Listening to the music in sync with the writing adds a lot. Glad to see this feature return from the PPPL days.
I'll keep that in mind for future action scenes and cliffhangers.


Quote:
- Moefox's character design... um... wow. Smiled for a good 30 seconds or so after seeing him. [/spoiler]
It was a great idea on his part, and a great photoshop on Kogetsu's.


Now then, like Tuxedo Mask himself, I can't stay long after appearing. So I'm off! To live up to my civilian name of "Triple_R" while recharging on Mars and enjoying Mooncake.



But if the recharging goes well, I should have Chapter 5 up tonight, or sometime tomorrow. Stay tuned!
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Old 2014-12-10, 19:34   Link #440
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Casey View Post
Spoiler for thoughts:
I am some how equally disappointed now about this .

While I enjoyed the chapter was a bit sad we'll have to wait to see Santa challenge Jinnai XD, but I can understand why Kyouko and Nagisa were against it. Though overall fighting was well written and humor was still good were present.
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