Dating

[Tsuyoshi]

Originally Posted by cheyannew

LOL Over time, horrific torture devices have been created to make women "sexy"

IE Pantyhose (ugh, avoid those tyvm), underwire bras, corsets etc.

I personally feel uncomfortable in flat shoes, because I can't walk on the balls of my feet.

But then I am a rather odd individual

It's because of the way your feet must have shaped themselves. If you wear a certain type of shoe model over a really long period of time, your foot will adapt its form to that type of shoe. I knew a lady once, the mother of a friend of mine, who'd worn trainers for nearly 20 years ever since she moved to Saudi. When she tried wearing classier shoes, her feet wouldn't even go in because she was too used to wearing trainers. If you walk on the balls of your feet a lot, then trainers wouldn't exactly fit you very well because that's not what they're designed for.

[SaintessHeart]

Originally Posted by Yoko Takeo

Makes me wonder who had the bright idea to come up with heels. It looks neither classy or sexy to me. It looks impractical because it causes the problems you mentioned, not to mention it's hard to walk on them for extended periods of time and hard to keep balance on them, and gives people a false impression on top of that.

Ancient times. If you take a look at China, they also have their own form of high heels. Along with feet binding, I think the idea behind it might be smaller steps to make them look daintier because it is hard to walk in big steps with those.

Stilettos are even worse. The technology used could be better used to arm soldiers with Fairburn-Sykes fighting knives.

[Narona]

Originally Posted by Yoko Takeo

Makes me wonder who had the bright idea to come up with heels. It looks neither classy or sexy to me. It looks impractical because it causes the problems you mentioned, not to mention it's hard to walk on them for extended periods of time and hard to keep balance on them, and gives people a false impression on top of that.

Beside the bad effect on health that it can have, it's a matter of tastes. Many men like girls in high heels. And there are girls who like to wear high heels too.

That says, to reply to your question, I am surprised that you don't know it since you're an italian XD (kidding ^^)

First versions of high heels (heels as we know it nowadays) appeared in Venise during the 16th century.

As for stilletto shoes, the first version of it is apparead in the late 19th century, and then become a classic when a french shoes designer named André Perugia (yes, Yoko, he had parents from italian roots) started designing shoes.

Fun fact. Stilletto shoes are named "Escarpins" in French. The word is derivated from the italian word "scarpino" which means IIRC "little shoes".

[Tsuyoshi]

Originally Posted by Narona

Beside the bad effect on health that it can have, it's a matter of tastes. Many men like girls in high heels. And there are girls who like to wear high heels too.

That says, to reply to your question, I am surprised that you don't know it since you're an italian XD (kidding ^^)

Lol I know, it depends on tastes, and everyone is different. I have mine, and I expressed them well enough in here

Originally Posted by Narona

Fun fact. Stilletto shoes are named "Escarpins" in French. The word is derivated from the italian word "scarpino" which means IIRC "little shoes".

Well, shoes are feminine in Italian, just like in French. Scarpino is masculine so it's most likely just the name of that type of shoe. "Scarpetta" or "Scarpina" mean "little shoe" and the name of that type of shoe was probably derived from the latter.

Originally Posted by Narona

As for stilletto shoes, the first version of it is apparead in the late 19th century, and then become a classic when a french shoes designer named André Perugia (yes, Yoko, he had parents from italian roots) started designing shoes.

Hmm, for someone who refers to these as tools of torture, you know quite a lot about them.

I jest, but it is interesting to know this. I think the name even sounds familiar.

[Narona]

Well, shoes are feminine in Italian, just like in French. Scarpino is masculine so it's most likely just the name of that type of shoe. "Scarpetta" or "Scarpina" mean "little shoe" and the name of that type of shoe was probably derived from the latter.

So it's "scarpina" Thanks for the correction

Hmm, for someone who refers to these as tools of torture, you know quite a lot about them.

I jest, but it is interesting to know this. I think the name even sounds familiar.

As a clothes fan, I know many things about the clothes

And yes it's interesting to me to know things, even if it seems meaningless.

[RadiantBeam]

Just a general question, not so much about me, but I guess about how to handle a situation I'm currently in with my friend. A few months ago she met this boy online, while still dating her boyfriend of two years, and is absolutely nuts about the guy. She broke up with her boyfriend to go out with this guy (who is roughly two years younger than she is, but that's not my problem). And I mean, she is gaga over him; says things like "This is the closest to love I'll ever get", and the kid has some serious devotion to her. I mean, serious, single-minded devotion. Like, she is his world.

Now, on one hand, I want to be happy for her because hey, she's happy.... but for some reason, it sits wrong with me. My gut instinct keeps saying that it isn't right, that something's off, but I don't dare say any of this to her because I know she's happy and I know she probably won't listen to me anyway even if I try to say something.

I don't know. At this point, I'm seriously at a loss. Maybe I'm overreacting to the whole situation, but it's been going on now for three months and this nagging feeling of wrongness about it hasn't faded in the slightest.

[Tsuyoshi]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

Just a general question, not so much about me, but I guess about how to handle a situation I'm currently in with my friend. A few months ago she met this boy online, while still dating her boyfriend of two years, and is absolutely nuts about the guy. She broke up with her boyfriend to go out with this guy (who is roughly two years younger than she is, but that's not my problem). And I mean, she is gaga over him; says things like "This is the closest to love I'll ever get", and the kid has some serious devotion to her. I mean, serious, single-minded devotion. Like, she is his world.

Now, on one hand, I want to be happy for her because hey, she's happy.... but for some reason, it sits wrong with me. My gut instinct keeps saying that it isn't right, that something's off, but I don't dare say any of this to her because I know she's happy and I know she probably won't listen to me anyway even if I try to say something.

I don't know. At this point, I'm seriously at a loss. Maybe I'm overreacting to the whole situation, but it's been going on now for three months and this nagging feeling of wrongness about it hasn't faded in the slightest.

Have they ever even seen each other??

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by Yoko Takeo

Have they ever even seen each other??

No. They're planning to meet in the summer. They've sent each other pictures over AIM, but that's it. Neither of them does web chat, and he doesn't have a cell phone.

[Kusa-San]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

No. They're planning to meet in the summer. They've sent each other pictures over AIM, but that's it. Neither of them does web chat, and he doesn't have a cell phone.

Ok how can she be in love with him then It's just me or there is a real problem here

[Buttercup~]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

Just a general question, not so much about me, but I guess about how to handle a situation I'm currently in with my friend. A few months ago she met this boy online, while still dating her boyfriend of two years, and is absolutely nuts about the guy. She broke up with her boyfriend to go out with this guy (who is roughly two years younger than she is, but that's not my problem). And I mean, she is gaga over him; says things like "This is the closest to love I'll ever get", and the kid has some serious devotion to her. I mean, serious, single-minded devotion. Like, she is his world.

Now, on one hand, I want to be happy for her because hey, she's happy.... but for some reason, it sits wrong with me. My gut instinct keeps saying that it isn't right, that something's off, but I don't dare say any of this to her because I know she's happy and I know she probably won't listen to me anyway even if I try to say something.

I don't know. At this point, I'm seriously at a loss. Maybe I'm overreacting to the whole situation, but it's been going on now for three months and this nagging feeling of wrongness about it hasn't faded in the slightest.

Uh... how old are they? I personally don't really like the sounds of the situation either, but I guess it depends on how much you trust one another.

If it was me, I wouldn't bother journeying all the way to see someone that I've merely exchanged a few words online with (and haven't even seen his face other than a picture). But if she's crazy over the guy... sometimes you can't help it but feel like you're meant to meet him?

If you feel so strongly against it, maybe you can convince her to think about her actions a little more and perhaps wait before meeting him. 3 months isn't a long time of getting to know each other >_> especially online...

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by Kusa-San

Ok how can she be in love with him then It's just me or there is a real problem here

More specifically she's told me "If this isn't love, then it's probably the closest I'll ever get to it". Which, honestly, makes me want to give her a hard smack over the head because she's usually much smarter and more cautious then this.

EDIT: @Buttercup: She's turning nineteen soon, and he'll be seventeen in March.

[Kusa-San]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

More specifically she's told me "If this isn't love, then it's probably the closest I'll ever get to it". Which, honestly, makes me want to give her a hard smack over the head because she's usually much smarter and more cautious then this.

EDIT: @Buttercup: She's turning nineteen soon, and he'll be seventeen in March.

They never meet before, it's stupid I mean, for me, you need to see the other one IRL before starting a relationship.

[Tsuyoshi]

I don't know what to make of this tbh.......
I'm with Kusa anyways. You can like someone you met over the inet, maybe more than you would most other people and be really close, but you can't call it love unless you've met him/her physically and know that you can be around her presence. What irks me the most is that she dumped a guy for another guy she's never even seen. That's what's really stupid.

[Kaijo]

It also sounds like she's being worshipped, and that can go to someone's head. Also, if he's just pushing all the right buttons, it can easily bypass the logical part of a woman's head and trigger pure emotion. Because they've only chatted with text online, they can't really know the other person, which means each is building up a certain idealism in their head; at least she is. that will get shattered when they meet.

Good news is, there is still time before summer, and time for her emotions to drop a bit, until she maybe starts thinking clearly again.

The best you can do is be supportive, share your concerns, but not enough to drive her away. She'll need you later, if the relationship ends or goes bad. But sadly, there's no way to talk her out of it.

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by Yoko Takeo

I don't know what to make of this tbh.......

I tried talking to her about it way back in the beginning, when she was still with her ex-boyfriend and everything. Needless to say, it didn't end well since she didn't like the fact that I was trying to talk to her about my feelings on the situation when I was (and still am) single, in comparison. I haven't tried bringing it up again since then.

On one hand I know there's really nothing I can do about it, so I should probably just let it run its course and do my best to be there for her if things end badly between the two of them. But on the other hand.... I mean, she's my friend. I don't want to see her get hurt.

[Buttercup~]

Well there's still months away from summer... she has time to think it over and you have time to try and bring it up again ^^''

Within that time, she might come to her senses. I agree with Kaijo that this guy can just be saying all the right things through words... and you can't truly say you LOVE someone based on that. I'm sure the more she talks to him, the more she'll realize that this guy isn't perfect and there are other guys she'll come closing to loving =)

[hinakatbklyn]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

More specifically she's told me "If this isn't love, then it's probably the closest I'll ever get to it". Which, honestly, makes me want to give her a hard smack over the head because she's usually much smarter and more cautious then this.

EDIT: @Buttercup: She's turning nineteen soon, and he'll be seventeen in March.

(1) I wonder. Except for pictures, they haven't met personally and haven't actually chatted directly.

(2) Age shouldn't be a personal issue if they're sure about each other, but it can be a legal issue due to one being under the legal age.

Going into a relationship blindfolded really isn't a good idea. They would both need to know more about each other before taking the next step. And the above comment indicates that outside of her current friend, she might not find love with anyone else. Sure she may have to be patient to find love, but it's not impossible if this one doesn't work out.

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by Buttercup~

[COLOR="Purple"]Well there's still months away from summer... she has time to think it over and you have time to try and bring it up again ^^''

I'd much prefer not getting my head bitten off again, actually. And the few times I've tried bringing it up with her ever since then, she's more or less skirted around the whole situation or said "WELL YOU DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL SO THERE" (not the exact wording, but that's her basic message: either agree with her and talk happily about how sexy the kid looks without a shirt, or GTFO). So I'm sort of at a loss. It's like the relationship is her Berserk Button all of the sudden.

Originally Posted by hinakatbklyn

(2) Age shouldn't be a personal issue if they're sure about each other, but it can be a legal issue due to one being under the legal age.

To be fair to them, they are planning to wait until he's legal if they make it that far; so far as I know, they haven't even done any cyber stuff. I'm not bothered by the age difference, myself, it's everything that led up to them dating that bugs me.

[Ascaloth]

@RadiantBeam,

Erm....wow. Your friend is setting herself up to be preyed upon by an online predator. I'm not claiming that's what the guy online is, but....chances are actually pretty high.

In this case, I think you'll best serve your friend's interests by tattling to her folks. She'll probably hate you for life (and by that, I mean she'll have a grudge against you until the day she wises up and matures), but y'know, whatever's necessary to save her from a VERY bad decision, especially if she isn't listening to you.

I dunno, maybe my suggestion isn't the best way, but someone's got to know about this.

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by Ascaloth

In this case, I think you'll best serve your friend's interests by tattling to her folks. She'll probably hate you for life (and by that, I mean she'll have a grudge against you until the day she wises up and matures), but y'know, whatever's necessary to save her from a VERY bad decision, especially if she isn't listening to you.

I would, but the problem is her parents (or at least her mother) already knows about the relationship and has even talked to the boy over AIM, and at the very least, from what I've been told her mother likes him a lot compared to the ex-boyfriend. I don't know if her father knows about it yet, but since it's been three months I'm assuming she or her mother have mentioned it to him by now. And it doesn't help either that she met her ex online, too (though they were actually able to chat and meet IRL), so that gives her some credit so far as it goes.