A Laugh A Day

[AnimeFan188]

The 10 Most Important Things They Didn't Teach You In School:

http://www.cracked.com/article_18611...in-school.html

Anyone have any additions to that list?

[Patriot's Blade]

Originally Posted by -Sho-

Gandalf Goes to the World Cup , Vuvuzela always here :

Rofl

lol this is brilliant!!!

[Xion Valkyrie]

Originally Posted by AnimeFan188

The 10 Most Important Things They Didn't Teach You In School:

http://www.cracked.com/article_18611...in-school.html

Anyone have any additions to that list?

I was hoping they went and detailed out the chapters =/

[Syntron]

[Silver Dragon]

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser", and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to:

M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc
Hackettstown, NJ
17840-1503 U.S.A.

along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money". I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.
There can only be one...

[Spectacular_Insanity]

^Lol, the true story of someone with WAY too much time on his/her hands....

[CuXe]

Originally Posted by Silver Dragon

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser", and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to:

M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc
Hackettstown, NJ
17840-1503 U.S.A.

along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money". I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.
There can only be one...

OMFG! LOL .... u just turned a simple pleasure such as eating chocolate into an Epic Darwinian struggle for survival... now THAT is how people should user their noodle!

[FateAnomaly]

At least he gave his m&m a chance to survive. Others just eat them irregardless.

[kenjiharima]

DANIEL BRYAN *clap clap.. clap clap clap*

the popular NXT rookie that was fired and now the WWE Universe wants him back and makes noise in WWE fatal 4way. Also on NXT and Raw.

How he was fired....

[Dilla]

I hear it was also because he spit on John Cena for real (on purpose?).



Politics in the WWE *shakes head*

I would like to see him back, but he's probably better off in the Indy scene like previously if he wants to do his own thing.

Speaking of the WWE:

Originally Posted by Silver Dragon

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser", and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to:

M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc
Hackettstown, NJ
17840-1503 U.S.A.

along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money". I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.
There can only be one...

I thought I was the only one that actually took the time to write and/or e-mail food companies!

+rep for you.

[Silver Dragon]

Last one...Sorry guys xD

So you think you had a hard childhood? Well Fuck you, it's got nothing on mine. My mom practically kicked my ass out of the house before I even hit 13, and I never even met my dad. My only friend till I was 10 was the faggot prick next door who was always beating the shit out of me and telling me I wasn't worth shit. It's not even like I had a choice, the town fucking had something like 9 people living in it, I shit you not. My entire adolescence was just moving around from place to place trying to get along with people who didn't even want me.

You think that's the worst? My only friend was an Asian guy in his thirties or somethingm who only kept me around, because he thought I could help him get laid. The only perk was that I also got to hang around with this cute ginger chick, she was flat as a pancake sure, but damn she was a total nymph. She must have been a sadist or something cause she always took pleasure in hitting me and telling me how she loved to get wet.

But dear god the bane of my existence was this adult couple that I could NOT seem to avoid. You know these types of couplees that are absolutely sickening, like they wear matching outfits and finish each others sentences? Yeah they were fucking creepers, and they had a cat, which was at least twice as annoying as they were, I swear this thing would never shut the fuck up.

Like I said I ended up moving from town to town getting into fights with other kids my age, even adults from time to time.

The only thing that kept me going was my dream to become a pokemon master.

[risingstar3110]

Originally Posted by Silver Dragon

Last one...Sorry guys xD

So you think you had a hard childhood? Well Fuck you, it's got nothing on mine. My mom practically kicked my ass out of the house before I even hit 13, and I never even met my dad. My only friend till I was 10 was the faggot prick next door who was always beating the shit out of me and telling me I wasn't worth shit. It's not even like I had a choice, the town fucking had something like 9 people living in it, I shit you not. My entire adolescence was just moving around from place to place trying to get along with people who didn't even want me.

You think that's the worst? My only friend was an Asian guy in his thirties or somethingm who only kept me around, because he thought I could help him get laid. The only perk was that I also got to hang around with this cute ginger chick, she was flat as a pancake sure, but damn she was a total nymph. She must have been a sadist or something cause she always took pleasure in hitting me and telling me how she loved to get wet.

But dear god the bane of my existence was this adult couple that I could NOT seem to avoid. You know these types of couplees that are absolutely sickening, like they wear matching outfits and finish each others sentences? Yeah they were fucking creepers, and they had a cat, which was at least twice as annoying as they were, I swear this thing would never shut the fuck up.

Like I said I ended up moving from town to town getting into fights with other kids my age, even adults from time to time.

The only thing that kept me going was my dream to become a pokemon master.

I read up to 3rd paragraph, and was wondering how this can give me a laugh. And it's hilarious, i basically loled at the last line

Didn't know that Misty was a tsundere/sadist. Back when i played pokemon, everything was in Japanese or some other language

Nice collection you have there

[Redoaxe]

Renai Circulation Izaya version

[speck123]

Civilization V Anonymous:

[Seitsuki]

may as well share this. I found it on my school account. I have no idea how the **** something this random got there, but there you go.

Spoiler for stupidly weird:

ONE DAY ZIGGY, THE GREAT ZIGAMAMA, WENT TO THE SUPERMARKET WITH HIS BEST FRIEND RAHUL SRIRAM. ZIGGY WENT TO THE SAUCES DEPARTMENT AND PROCEEDED TO BUY SOME VERY HOT CURRY SAUCE SO THAT HE COULD HAVE SOME FOOD TO EAT BECAUSE HE WAS HUNGRY BECAUSE HE DID THE 40 HOUR FAMINE TO RAISE MONEY FOR POOR CHILDREN IN AFRICA. IT WAS PRETTY FUNNY BRECAUSE WE ARE JUST PROLONGING THEIR DEATHS, I MEAN WE CAN’T BE ON 40 HOUR FAMINE ALL THE TIME OTHERWISE WE WOULD BE STARVING JUST LIKE THEM. ANYWAY ZIGGY BOUGHT THE CURRY SAUCE AND IT WAS THE MOST DELICIOUS CURRY SAUCE HE HAD EVER TASTED. IT MADE HIS TASTE BUDS ORGASM AND HE SAID ‘FEELS GOOD MAN’. AND THEN ZIGGY WANTED TO MAKE SRIRAM’S TASTE BUDS ORGASM AS WELL BUT JUST THEN, THE SAUCE RAN OUT (  ) AND HE RAN OUT OF MONEY AS WELL. THIS WAS VERY UNFORTUNATE. ZIGGY WAS VERY SAD AND SRIRAM WAS UPSET BECAUSE HE COULD NOT EXPERIENCE THE ORGASM IN HIS MOUTH.

....yeah I lol'd at the famine thing. shoot me.

[Dilla]

Playin' mah bongos, playin' mah bongos. . .naked.

Nudist?

[Raiga]

So apparently YouTube's added a vuvuzela button. Doesn't appear in embedded videos though, you have to watch on the video page.

(I'm wondering if this is old news, since I swear I didn't notice until just now)

[-Sho-]

A New Challenger appears

[Spectacular_Insanity]

Originally Posted by Silver Dragon

Last one...Sorry guys xD

So you think you had a hard childhood? Well Fuck you, it's got nothing on mine. My mom practically kicked my ass out of the house before I even hit 13, and I never even met my dad. My only friend till I was 10 was the faggot prick next door who was always beating the shit out of me and telling me I wasn't worth shit. It's not even like I had a choice, the town fucking had something like 9 people living in it, I shit you not. My entire adolescence was just moving around from place to place trying to get along with people who didn't even want me.

You think that's the worst? My only friend was an Asian guy in his thirties or somethingm who only kept me around, because he thought I could help him get laid. The only perk was that I also got to hang around with this cute ginger chick, she was flat as a pancake sure, but damn she was a total nymph. She must have been a sadist or something cause she always took pleasure in hitting me and telling me how she loved to get wet.

But dear god the bane of my existence was this adult couple that I could NOT seem to avoid. You know these types of couplees that are absolutely sickening, like they wear matching outfits and finish each others sentences? Yeah they were fucking creepers, and they had a cat, which was at least twice as annoying as they were, I swear this thing would never shut the fuck up.

Like I said I ended up moving from town to town getting into fights with other kids my age, even adults from time to time.

The only thing that kept me going was my dream to become a pokemon master.

Lol, I didn't get it until I read the last two words. That is quite the joke.

[Animelover#1]

Heh, Everyone loves potter puppet pals
Credit goes to Neil Cicierra.

This guy is hilarious too :P

Credits go to NigaHiga