AnimeSuki Forums

Eratas123 · 2012-06-01, 09:07

There's like two fics like that. One's abou the terrorist survival and the other's about an IS core.

ZeroXSEED · 2012-06-01, 09:15

As you said yourself: yet another Iron Man lite.

The characterization is a bit risky though, he can be anywhere from a butt monkey to anti-sue (yes there's such a thing). However, it also means he is flexible enough that as long as you balance the spotlight, it will be fine.

Eratas123 · 2012-06-01, 09:18

Up to what age can a woman be an effective pilot?

demino_hellsin · 2012-06-01, 09:25

the fascinating thing is the IS he gains... at least for me. Like most IS touched by Tabane herself, it can't mount equalizers. Mostly because all that memory is being used to make sure the system doesn't screw up in maintaining his bio-processes.

As an IS it is equipped with a unique system called Offensive Armor. Basically the whole armor frame of the unit is the weapon. In raw specs, it is fairly speedy, able to keep up with the likes of 1st shift Byakushiki. However it is extremely agile and boasts unparalleled raw strength. The defenses of the unit range from average to fragile depending when the external armor is used as weapons or not. When the external armor is used as weaponry, only the skintight armor underneath will serve as protection.

The first piece of offensive armor I thought up were the arm armor. Basically what they do is act as energy condensers and conduits. While used as armor, they can deliver melee range blasts through the hands. In weapons mode, the whole thing comes off and forms a very thick and unwieldy looking gun. Due to its nature as an energy condenser, it could avail of varying modes, high density piercing shot, diffusive spread shot, or rapid fire bursts. However the overall output cannot be changed.

The second piece of offensive armor are the sideskirts. They are two relatively small shaped slabs of IS alloy that can be wielded in hand and generate beam edges to become a beam sword.

greedyspectator · 2012-06-01, 09:27

Another scene I came up for my fanfic, Insurgency.

This one is supposed to establish Lukasz's motives...

Please give advice and comments

!

Spoiler for Insurgency: Possible Scene: Motives:

So... what do you think?

Eratas123 · 2012-06-01, 09:36

Psychopath is crazy, nuff said. I don't see a happy ending to this.

greedyspectator · 2012-06-01, 09:44

@Eratas:
There probably won't be a happy ending. I'm trying to write a villain who's basically irredeemable, would not have a happy ending, and yet I want the audience to still somewhat sympathize with him.

I see I'm probably failing at that.

Well, as for happy endings, there is no cute, fuzzy bunny in Lukasz's future. He is the villain, after all, despite being the protagonist. There probably will be a happy ending for the good guys. Happy endings are relative after all, as Jane Yolen once wrote in her book Briar Rose: “Fairy Tales always have a happy ending.' That depends... on whether you are Rumpelstiltskin or the Queen.”

Eratas123 · 2012-06-01, 09:51

If you're looking for smpathy, I don't think you're going to get much from readers. Villains who look at lives as statistics are automatically labeled monsters.

demino_hellsin · 2012-06-01, 09:51

Don't make the dude too melodramatic. Actually, the way he talks states that he knows what it's like to be human. But his current state should make him ask, what makes a human human? What is regret? Why is Kanzashi angry? to him it's all novelty, a novelty he wants.

He has no idea, no concept of human emotions so he shouldn't be talking about them as if he knew about them. Rather he is puzzled by them, why is he isolated to not feeling?

greedyspectator · 2012-06-01, 09:58

@Demi
That's actually how real life complete Psychopaths think. They can manipulate people really well due to the fact that they understand human emotions. But they can't feel human emotions themselves. Most psychopaths destroy the lives of others out of jealousy: They know how happy their victim is because of the emotions they experience, and they know they will never get to experience it themselves, so they think it's unfair and decide to ruin their victim's life. And yes, to a psychopath, it really is all novelty. Specifically, a psychopath cannot feel deep emotions, only shallow ones, or proto-emotions such as sexual arousal, frustration, boredom, greed, and irritability. Usually, psychopaths act on these shallow impulses as well, but in this story, I have taken the liberty to make Lukasz unique in that he is driven by the desire to feel at least one real emotion.

ZeroXSEED · 2012-06-01, 10:00

An announcement regarding the newly registered Male Pilots.

WRITTEN BY
Sarashiki Tatenashi & Mayuzumi Kaoruko
EDITED BY
Orimura Chifuyu
VALIDATED

Greeting, my fellow students. The Student Council, as you know, have greater access to the latest news circulating within the school, and has work together with the Newspaper Club for validity and accuracy.

We are by no means allowed to post anything considered inappropriate by the school regulation, or case-sensitive information. However, we have good enough stuff that you may consider it as 'approach guidance'

No. 01 Len Elsie Jewelria
Originally hailed form Memorze, now registered as Australian Cadet Representative. Handsome and masculine, without losing the usual pretty boy aura. Proceed with caution, he is normally a polite gentleman, however, anything he perceived as a threat to his masculinity will be countered with infernal retaliation.
Rating: A+
Threat: C+

No. 02 Kenichi 'Keneth' Saruyama
Not much know about his history, except that he grew in Japan until he graduate from Elementary and moved to Sweden. Best described as unremarkable in terms of physical charm, but has quite a friendly air and charisma when he is serious. Beware of frequent, mild sexual harassment when near him however, unless you want to play along 'the game'.
Rating: C+
Threat: A+

No. 03 Ichika Orimura
The only known family of Orimura-sensei, suffering a kidnapping attempt before he is declared as potential pilot candidate. Extremely kindhearted and is a natural knight, complementing his manly charm nicely. A slight notice by a certainly trusted source that you need to be patient when pursuing him, aggressive approach shall never be your strategy.
Rating: A
Threat: E+

No. 04 Dan Gotanda
His background shown nothing particularly important until he enlist in United Nations Space Force. Tall, lean, and at the very least generically attractive overall. Beware of randomly deceiving actions however, he is extremely mature and knew when to play his part, which mean trying to manipulate him will make you fall to his trap.
Rating: B+
Threat: C

No. 05 Reed 'Rito' Yuuki
Probably one with most striking background that some of them won't be available to post, except him being member of newly formed paramilitary organization in Germany. On a first glance, he looks like average shy and humble boy, pretty face notwithstanding. He was considerably friendly and easy to approach. He was however possess an abnormal shyness around members of the opposite sex (that he's not already close with), and borderline volcanic temper issues if you're trying to dominate him because of his usual submissive nature.
Rating: A
Threat: B+

No. 06 Charles Dunois
Seems to have a family relation to Dunois family of France, though personally is a registered Singaporean. Has the appearance and personality of traditional white prince, and certainly knew about it. Extremely intelligent, polite, and so far declared 'the most trustworthy boy'.
Rating: A+
Threat: F+

Eratas123 · 2012-06-01, 10:01

The thing is that's the problem: He needs to be a mass murderer to feel any emotion. Can't he elp people? Find something he likes to do? Nope, he has to kill people. I wouldn't want that guy gaining emotions, I'd bury him in a ditch somewhere.

demino_hellsin · 2012-06-01, 10:03

@greedy: so unlike my idea which is childish, yours has been experienced in this area huh?

@zero: I have no idea what I'm looking at.

greedyspectator · 2012-06-01, 10:09

@Zero: Can you check and comment my draft above please?

@Eratas: Psychopaths do not feel good by helping people. You need empathy to feel good helping people. Empathy basically works by simulating another person's emotion, so if another person feels good so does the empathizing person. Unfortunately, Psychopaths are usually brain dead at certain parts of the cerebral cortex of the brain. Also the part which governs empathy and houses mirror neurons. Psychopaths simply cannot partake in the joy of others.

Eratas123 · 2012-06-01, 10:09

What's with those threat levels

@ Greedy - Yes I know that, I've met some psycho's in school. Anyway, that's why he's not sympathetic: Do you see anyone feeling sympathetic to Jack the Ripper or other SK's?

greedyspectator · 2012-06-01, 10:13

@Eratas
You have a point with Jack the Ripper there... perhaps I should downgrade his psychopathy into sociopathy?

Anyway, you met a psychopath at school? Seriously? And the school isn't doing anything about them?

Eratas123 · 2012-06-01, 10:20

Minor versions, yeah. Their vices leaned towards manipulating people and makingthem feel bad and general overreaction to relationships.

greedyspectator · 2012-06-01, 10:38

@Zero:
So... what do you think about my draft on 1587?

greedyspectator · 2012-06-01, 10:45

@Eratas: But that would make Lukasz less 'evil' and more 'mentally exotic'. Lukasz still has to be evil. He is practically my experiment to create a purely evil character yet still be somewhat sympathetic.

I'll probably tone down his body count, though. You're right, it's hard to sympathize with a mass murderer. It's just like sympathizing with Hitler.

demino_hellsin · 2012-06-01, 10:48

what about a last order?

2012-06-01, 09:07	Link #31721
Eratas123 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2011	There's like two fics like that. One's abou the terrorist survival and the other's about an IS core. __________________

2012-06-01, 09:15	Link #31722
ZeroXSEED I am no one Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Inside your head	As you said yourself: yet another Iron Man lite. The characterization is a bit risky though, he can be anywhere from a butt monkey to anti-sue (yes there's such a thing). However, it also means he is flexible enough that as long as you balance the spotlight, it will be fine. __________________

2012-06-01, 09:18	Link #31723
Eratas123 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2011	Up to what age can a woman be an effective pilot? __________________

2012-06-01, 09:27	Link #31725
greedyspectator Senior Member Join Date: May 2012	Another scene I came up for my fanfic, Insurgency. This one is supposed to establish Lukasz's motives... Please give advice and comments ! Spoiler for Insurgency: Possible Scene: Motives: The ruins of his headquarters behind him, Lukasz gazed at the angel of death above him. It was Kanzashi. A very pissed off Kanzashi. Armed with her [Uchigane Niigata]. Fresh from leveling a heavily defended headquarters. His headquarters, to be precise. … “Had enough?” Kanzashi spat out, enraged. Lukasz simply stared at her, unfazed and unemotional. “Look at your handiwork! You killed tens of thousands of people! You ruined the lives of many more! Orphaned children, widowed wives, grieving husbands! Congratulations! Are you happy now, you bastard!?” Kanzashi aimed her missiles at Lukasz. Eight missile pods bristled to life around her IS, its flaps opening up as a precursor to fire. Lukasz did not respond to this. The wheelchair bound hooded figure only stared at his angel of death without emotion or remorse. “So this is it? Your damn goal in life is to breeze through it, leaving a blaze of fire and the dead bodies of your victims in your wake! Are you happy! Are you satisfied now, that you blew up an entire city and irradiated everything else surrounding it!? Are you!?” Lukasz took a deep breath and sighed in contempt. Kanzashi fired a missile. The ground a few meters beside Lukasz blew up with shrapnel, his wheelchair’s weak portable shields flaring to life to protect him. “Answer me! And I shall grant you a few seconds to live your miserable life!” Lukasz smiled. “I find your distress… highly amusing,” began Lukasz. Another missile exploded, this time hitting closer to him, forcing his wheelchair to activate its shields. One more missile, and he knows that he’s done for. “Miss Kanzashi,” he sighed, “I am incapable of feeling happiness as much as I am incapable of feeling remorse. I felt exhilaration… a sort of high, perhaps, but it was too temporary and transient to be truly called happiness. It was great while it lasted.” He lowered his head, his hood moving to obscure his face. “But now… I feel nothing. Perhaps I should destroy another city? Maybe, if I ruin enough lives, I will get closer to my goal.” “And what is that goal of yours?” Kanzashi bit out, preparing to fire another missile to finish him off. “To be human.” Kanzashi stared at Lukasz in a mix of anger and confusion. “What!? To be human!? There is nothing human in killing this many people and not regret it!” “You see, Miss Kanzashi, I am incapable of feeling true emotions. I am nothing more than a dead body acting like one of the living. An emotionless husk of a human being. I want to be human. My goal in life is to feel, even for a split second, true emotion. My goal in life is to feel remorse. I want to regret ruining the life of others.” Silence. “But I can’t. Not yet. Most of my mirror neurons are dead, but not all of them. Most of those that aren’t dead aren’t connected, but small fraction is. Perhaps, if I kill enough people…” Lukasz’s voice became more intense all of a sudden. “Perhaps, if I kill enough people, I will feel a small twinge of regret.” “Perhaps, if I kill enough people, I will be human, even for only a moment.” “Perhaps, if I kill enough people, I will finally live after years of not living.” Lukasz’s head started to rise. “And I will be human, Miss Kanzashi, I will feel regret.” “I will feel remorse…” “And if I have to burn the entire world to do so…” Lukasz’s head rose, and his maroon-red eyes stared with psychopathic determination at Kanzashi. “So be it.” So... what do you think? __________________ “The evil that is in the world almost always comes from ignorance, and good intentions may do as much harm as malevolence if they lack understanding.” ― Albert Camus

2012-06-01, 09:36	Link #31726
Eratas123 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2011	Psychopath is crazy, nuff said. I don't see a happy ending to this. __________________

2012-06-01, 09:25	Link #31724
demino_hellsin That one guy Join Date: Nov 2011	the fascinating thing is the IS he gains... at least for me. Like most IS touched by Tabane herself, it can't mount equalizers. Mostly because all that memory is being used to make sure the system doesn't screw up in maintaining his bio-processes. As an IS it is equipped with a unique system called Offensive Armor. Basically the whole armor frame of the unit is the weapon. In raw specs, it is fairly speedy, able to keep up with the likes of 1st shift Byakushiki. However it is extremely agile and boasts unparalleled raw strength. The defenses of the unit range from average to fragile depending when the external armor is used as weapons or not. When the external armor is used as weaponry, only the skintight armor underneath will serve as protection. The first piece of offensive armor I thought up were the arm armor. Basically what they do is act as energy condensers and conduits. While used as armor, they can deliver melee range blasts through the hands. In weapons mode, the whole thing comes off and forms a very thick and unwieldy looking gun. Due to its nature as an energy condenser, it could avail of varying modes, high density piercing shot, diffusive spread shot, or rapid fire bursts. However the overall output cannot be changed. The second piece of offensive armor are the sideskirts. They are two relatively small shaped slabs of IS alloy that can be wielded in hand and generate beam edges to become a beam sword.

2012-06-01, 09:44	Link #31727
greedyspectator Senior Member Join Date: May 2012	@Eratas: There probably won't be a happy ending. I'm trying to write a villain who's basically irredeemable, would not have a happy ending, and yet I want the audience to still somewhat sympathize with him. I see I'm probably failing at that. Well, as for happy endings, there is no cute, fuzzy bunny in Lukasz's future. He is the villain, after all, despite being the protagonist. There probably will be a happy ending for the good guys. Happy endings are relative after all, as Jane Yolen once wrote in her book Briar Rose: “Fairy Tales always have a happy ending.' That depends... on whether you are Rumpelstiltskin or the Queen.” __________________ “The evil that is in the world almost always comes from ignorance, and good intentions may do as much harm as malevolence if they lack understanding.” ― Albert Camus

2012-06-01, 09:51	Link #31728
Eratas123 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2011	If you're looking for smpathy, I don't think you're going to get much from readers. Villains who look at lives as statistics are automatically labeled monsters. __________________

2012-06-01, 09:51	Link #31729
demino_hellsin That one guy Join Date: Nov 2011	Don't make the dude too melodramatic. Actually, the way he talks states that he knows what it's like to be human. But his current state should make him ask, what makes a human human? What is regret? Why is Kanzashi angry? to him it's all novelty, a novelty he wants. He has no idea, no concept of human emotions so he shouldn't be talking about them as if he knew about them. Rather he is puzzled by them, why is he isolated to not feeling?

2012-06-01, 09:58	Link #31730
greedyspectator Senior Member Join Date: May 2012	@Demi That's actually how real life complete Psychopaths think. They can manipulate people really well due to the fact that they understand human emotions. But they can't feel human emotions themselves. Most psychopaths destroy the lives of others out of jealousy: They know how happy their victim is because of the emotions they experience, and they know they will never get to experience it themselves, so they think it's unfair and decide to ruin their victim's life. And yes, to a psychopath, it really is all novelty. Specifically, a psychopath cannot feel deep emotions, only shallow ones, or proto-emotions such as sexual arousal, frustration, boredom, greed, and irritability. Usually, psychopaths act on these shallow impulses as well, but in this story, I have taken the liberty to make Lukasz unique in that he is driven by the desire to feel at least one real emotion. __________________ “The evil that is in the world almost always comes from ignorance, and good intentions may do as much harm as malevolence if they lack understanding.” ― Albert Camus

2012-06-01, 10:00	Link #31731
ZeroXSEED I am no one Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Inside your head	An announcement regarding the newly registered Male Pilots. WRITTEN BY Sarashiki Tatenashi & Mayuzumi Kaoruko EDITED BY Orimura Chifuyu VALIDATED Greeting, my fellow students. The Student Council, as you know, have greater access to the latest news circulating within the school, and has work together with the Newspaper Club for validity and accuracy. We are by no means allowed to post anything considered inappropriate by the school regulation, or case-sensitive information. However, we have good enough stuff that you may consider it as 'approach guidance' No. 01 Len Elsie Jewelria Originally hailed form Memorze, now registered as Australian Cadet Representative. Handsome and masculine, without losing the usual pretty boy aura. Proceed with caution, he is normally a polite gentleman, however, anything he perceived as a threat to his masculinity will be countered with infernal retaliation. Rating: A+ Threat: C+ No. 02 Kenichi 'Keneth' Saruyama Not much know about his history, except that he grew in Japan until he graduate from Elementary and moved to Sweden. Best described as unremarkable in terms of physical charm, but has quite a friendly air and charisma when he is serious. Beware of frequent, mild sexual harassment when near him however, unless you want to play along 'the game'. Rating: C+ Threat: A+ No. 03 Ichika Orimura The only known family of Orimura-sensei, suffering a kidnapping attempt before he is declared as potential pilot candidate. Extremely kindhearted and is a natural knight, complementing his manly charm nicely. A slight notice by a certainly trusted source that you need to be patient when pursuing him, aggressive approach shall never be your strategy. Rating: A Threat: E+ No. 04 Dan Gotanda His background shown nothing particularly important until he enlist in United Nations Space Force. Tall, lean, and at the very least generically attractive overall. Beware of randomly deceiving actions however, he is extremely mature and knew when to play his part, which mean trying to manipulate him will make you fall to his trap. Rating: B+ Threat: C No. 05 Reed 'Rito' Yuuki Probably one with most striking background that some of them won't be available to post, except him being member of newly formed paramilitary organization in Germany. On a first glance, he looks like average shy and humble boy, pretty face notwithstanding. He was considerably friendly and easy to approach. He was however possess an abnormal shyness around members of the opposite sex (that he's not already close with), and borderline volcanic temper issues if you're trying to dominate him because of his usual submissive nature. Rating: A Threat: B+ No. 06 Charles Dunois Seems to have a family relation to Dunois family of France, though personally is a registered Singaporean. Has the appearance and personality of traditional white prince, and certainly knew about it. Extremely intelligent, polite, and so far declared 'the most trustworthy boy'. Rating: A+ Threat: F+ __________________

2012-06-01, 10:01	Link #31732
Eratas123 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2011	The thing is that's the problem: He needs to be a mass murderer to feel any emotion. Can't he elp people? Find something he likes to do? Nope, he has to kill people. I wouldn't want that guy gaining emotions, I'd bury him in a ditch somewhere. __________________

2012-06-01, 10:03	Link #31733
demino_hellsin That one guy Join Date: Nov 2011	@greedy: so unlike my idea which is childish, yours has been experienced in this area huh? @zero: I have no idea what I'm looking at.

2012-06-01, 10:09	Link #31734
greedyspectator Senior Member Join Date: May 2012	@Zero: Can you check and comment my draft above please? @Eratas: Psychopaths do not feel good by helping people. You need empathy to feel good helping people. Empathy basically works by simulating another person's emotion, so if another person feels good so does the empathizing person. Unfortunately, Psychopaths are usually brain dead at certain parts of the cerebral cortex of the brain. Also the part which governs empathy and houses mirror neurons. Psychopaths simply cannot partake in the joy of others. __________________ “The evil that is in the world almost always comes from ignorance, and good intentions may do as much harm as malevolence if they lack understanding.” ― Albert Camus

2012-06-01, 10:09	Link #31735
Eratas123 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2011	What's with those threat levels @ Greedy - Yes I know that, I've met some psycho's in school. Anyway, that's why he's not sympathetic: Do you see anyone feeling sympathetic to Jack the Ripper or other SK's? __________________

2012-06-01, 10:13	Link #31736
greedyspectator Senior Member Join Date: May 2012	@Eratas You have a point with Jack the Ripper there... perhaps I should downgrade his psychopathy into sociopathy? Anyway, you met a psychopath at school? Seriously? And the school isn't doing anything about them? __________________ “The evil that is in the world almost always comes from ignorance, and good intentions may do as much harm as malevolence if they lack understanding.” ― Albert Camus

2012-06-01, 10:20	Link #31737
Eratas123 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2011	Minor versions, yeah. Their vices leaned towards manipulating people and makingthem feel bad and general overreaction to relationships. __________________

2012-06-01, 10:38	Link #31738
greedyspectator Senior Member Join Date: May 2012	@Zero: So... what do you think about my draft on 1587? __________________ “The evil that is in the world almost always comes from ignorance, and good intentions may do as much harm as malevolence if they lack understanding.” ― Albert Camus

2012-06-01, 10:45	Link #31739
greedyspectator Senior Member Join Date: May 2012	@Eratas: But that would make Lukasz less 'evil' and more 'mentally exotic'. Lukasz still has to be evil. He is practically my experiment to create a purely evil character yet still be somewhat sympathetic. I'll probably tone down his body count, though. You're right, it's hard to sympathize with a mass murderer. It's just like sympathizing with Hitler. __________________ “The evil that is in the world almost always comes from ignorance, and good intentions may do as much harm as malevolence if they lack understanding.” ― Albert Camus

2012-06-01, 10:48	Link #31740
demino_hellsin That one guy Join Date: Nov 2011	what about a last order?