Thinking seriously about death

[EscapeReality]

I see deaths in the media and in shows all the time, yet I rarely internalize them or think about them seriously. However, last night before going to sleep I was feeling strangely morbid, thinking about the portion of my life I had already lived out and how I will inevitably be engulfed by eternal death. I personally do not believe in an afterlife (I do not want to start a religious debate, these are simply my thoughts), and the idea of vanishing forever is incomprehensible to me, because I have never remembered not existing (no duh). I live each day betting on the assumption that I have a long life ahead of me, and I find death a laughably distant subject. It was a pretty odd feeling to be thinking about these things.

How often do you guys think about death seriously?

[rantaid]

you are 17 right? you think too much. i have experienced some thing that some might not be able to solve them themselves even going as far thinking that i regret to be born .


but here now... i am still living, appreciating life even with all my flaws. thought i still occasionally frustrated at my helplessness and wishing to never been born and despair why would i still alive....

but i try to remember for now that i have something that i want to accomplish no matter how small and insignificant it. might to the other.

and also.... i have not settled my vendetta. i am sure i will regret them in my grave if i failed to finish it.

[Ridwan]

Wow, teen angst! How long has it been ?

[TinyRedLeaf]

You're not the first to bring up this topic. I've added tags for ease of future reference.

Your Thoughts on Death? (March 31, 2006)

I'll quote what I wrote in 2008:

Originally Posted by TinyRedLeaf

Good grief. It's rather morbid to think of how you'd prefer to die at so young a age. In fact, I think it's extremely silly. Most of us haven't even lived enough yet, let alone think of what comes after. It sounds incredibly immature to think about your death when you don't even know what you'd like to do with your life.

I enjoy discussing philosophy like any other person, but sometimes, talk is cheap. All the knowledge in the world is not going to make your imminent passing any easier. The fear of death has always been one of the greatest motivations of human action throughout history. That is not likely to change, no matter how much you deny your fear of The End.

You don't know how much you'd fear, until you fully understand how much you stand to lose.

Experience life first. Death can come later.

If futurologists are to be believed, "immortality" is possible within this century. It's no longer a distant pipe dream, apparently, given the advances in genomic research. We may one day be able to literally re-grow our body parts and replace them as they fail. So, it's not just about extending our life expectancies, but also improving the quality of our lives. (Note, "apparently" is the the key word here -- I'm not so sure I trust these futurologists...)

When my father passed away of liver cancer, I didn't immediately feel grief or despair. I did not hate my father, but neither were we very close. It's not until much later, until he's gone, that I realised how much I missed him.

So, the initial feeling of "detachment" after losing someone close is normal, I feel. Sometimes, it takes a while for the finality of death to sink in. That's when the grief hits you -- the regrets over things you have not said or told him before he left. Then, the acceptance at last, that such words don't matter as much as what little time you did spend together.

To answer your questions directly:

(1)
No, I don't normally think about death. It's not because I'm squeamish about the subject, but rather because I don't think about it as "death" per se. Rather, I think about it from the perspective of existence. Why do I exist? What is the meaning of my existence? Am I here for a reason? What should I do in the absence of a reason? If this is the one life I have, how should I make it count?

I used to dwell very heavily on these thoughts, when I was in my teens and in my 20s. I was privately melancholic and though I thought I hid it well, people close to me could sense my pessimism. One or two even kindly offered me the solace of religion, which I considered. I eventually felt that the answers were not to be found there.

I don't think so much about "death" any more. Not because existentialist questions no longer occupy my thoughts, but rather because I've come to terms with my mortality and have long since found what I wanted to focus on, the things that are important to me and which I enjoy.

(2)
In hindsight, I don't think I was unusual at all. I secretly suspect that everyone asks these questions, but not everyone dares to articulate them for fear of appearing morbid.

It's a great pity because I feel they are important questions to ask. It takes a lot of honest self-reflection and not everyone is up to that. It's not their fault. They're simply being human. No one likes to dwell on the end when the beginning has barely begun.

I strongly believe in the need to be fully aware of our mortality, on the brute fact that our time is short and limited. It's only after we have embraced this truth that we are able to push ourselves to make the best of whatever we have.

Accepting that life has no grand purpose is absolutely not the same as believing that life is meaningless. On the contrary, accepting that there is no divine plan means accepting that you are absolutely free to do what you will.

Your will becomes your purpose. There may be many others like it, but your purpose is your own. Rejoice in it, and understand that you owe it to yourself to fulfil it.


Seen in this context, death is nothing to be afraid of, not if the journey towards it has been worthwhile.

[NoemiChan]

My concern is not my death but by my parents..... sooner or later... It'll be heart breaking...

[Ridwan]

Originally Posted by GenjiChan

My concern is not my death but by my parents..... sooner or later... It'll be heart breaking...

Now this I can relate with.

[hero147]

Just remember you aren't alone. You won't be the first person to die nor will you be the last. Billions of people would have died before you by the time you reach "your time."

I think about death in a beneficial way rather than a morbid way. While I will never think about suicide, death helps keep me in perspective that there could be worse things in life than my failures, which often helps me deal with big stresses in life.

[NoemiChan]

Originally Posted by Ridwan

Now this I can relate with.

Everyone should think of this... you spent 50-60 years with them. They fed you, dressed you, played with you, taught how to talk, read and write, gave advises regarding everyday life. They watched you grow and get married. Reminded you of your rights and wrongs. You had fights and reconciliation.... uhmmm

God, I should stop...

[Xefi]

I did thought about it when I was in the military. I was thinking of I how I might get killed rather
than suicide though. while I was defending the Free Iraqi Force from Iraq's Terrorist in Hungary,
I was always thinking of death by the enemies. that I might get snipe down and boom, i'm DEAD.

I know my parents will be really sad if I die while in the service, so I always tried to
think a little positive, but usually I end up back to thinking of my death.
my parents are poor, but enough to live on without me back then. but now, i'm
responsible for the whole family. I've to take care of them since my worthless pop cant
do jack (mental illness). whenever I think of death,
I always think of the family first. "what will they do if I were to be gone". I know for certain they will
run into a lot of financial problems.

death is just an easy way out of this miserable life. maybe one day, you can find what drives
you to wanna live longer than wishing for your own death. my only reason for wanting to live on
is my family. they can't survive long without me. so...I can't think of death much because
they are the barriers that prevent me from thinking that.

hope that helps some of you youngsters. find your happiness. death is not the answer.

[rantaid]

or ... the easy solution just watch porn or get girlfriend. it'll fix that.

[Endless Soul]

Having stared down the barrel of pump action shotgun just inches from my nose , with a angry drunk on the trigger end one night while my girlfriend and I were waiting for a taxi, I can honestly say I gave death some serious thought at that point in time. The weird thing about it was, even though I was pretty scared, I ended up just relaxing and letting go while waiting for the shot and thinking "this is it."

Well, obviously the guy never pulled the trigger, and I think my relaxing somehow made him and his buddies relax and de-fused the situation.

The other time I gave it some serious thought was when my Myasthenia Gravis almost killed me in 2007. However, at that time I was desperate to stay alive as my daughter was barely 6 months old. I definitely had something to live for.

Endless "March 8, 1996" Soul

[Xefi]

^ you were very fortunate that he didn't pull the trigger or else you wouldn't be here today
with us. i'm impress that you think of your daughter and that you want to be alive to take care
of her.

I once have a co-worker. he was probably around your age 48-49; I didn't really ask the guy. his wife
and 6 years old daughter ask him to go check up on the doctor because his feet was looking
very odd and black. he didn't listen and continue working in our company. then one day, he suddenly felt ill
and have to leave work to go see the doctor. the doctor says that he got cancer (stomach)
and he doesn't even have long to live. that was pretty much the last time he ever came to work.

I visited him and all of the co-workers as well. his cancer was getting to the point where
the doctor just doesn't have any ways to even help the guy. we were all sad for him.
he dies on the day we celebrate our Chinese New Year / Tet. leaving behind his wife
and 6 years daughter. I wonder what his daughter going to say when her friends ask
her "where is your dad?" thinking of that, really makes me sad. poor thing.

he told me that he regrets a lot of things in life. all the things he still wants to do, but
he can't do them anymore. i'm very sure he wanted to live a longer life. the guy did not
want to die. it really hurts seeing him. he was in pain. it wasn't something I want to
experience. it was just too painful even for me because I was thinking "what if that
was me on my deathbed?" I still have much to live for and I don't want to die yet.

[Qilin]

How one perceives death is strongly influenced by one's belief in the afterlife. I personally don't mind dying tomorrow or whenever as long as it isn't particularly uncomfortable. No point being scared over it since death isn't something that can be experienced nor should I be able to carry over my experiences into the afterlife, so to speak.

In the first place, life is something that can truly be appreciated once you embrace its cold, unforgiving emptiness.

[Fireminer]

I'm just a 7-years old kid, so this might be out of my gasp. But for everything that I've read, sometime there are worse thing than a quick death: Slow and Painfully seeing your beloved die and everything collapsed, or living without ambition and happiness,...

And beside, if there was no death, then life would also be worthless.

[Kafriel]

Death is something everyone does their best to avoid...yes, we all die someday, but until then, don't think about it and focus on the things you can actually experience while you're still alive. After all, gathering as many memories as you can and chasing after happiness is, imo, the meaning of life.

As for me, I only ever contemplated dying when I was in the army, where the responsibility for my life was passed on to...well, idiots. I won't elaborate on that because I'll get nasty :P

[Sheba]

I have had an appendicitisis back in 2010. Surgeon told me it was so bad that a few more hours before I turned to the hospital and it would have been over for me. The first days in the hospital had been the most depressing days of my life (other than the near DEH I would hit one year later, that's another story).

The possibility that I could have died left me with this empty feeling, yet full of that fear. As if I was standing on the edge of a chasm and a single blow of wind could have pushed me down.

So, yeah, I want to enjoy each moments of my life, but I realize it's not an easy task when life also throw shit at me, but hey I am alive. So yeah, life look brighter when you have had a close shave with Grim Reaper.

[Dr. Casey]

Originally Posted by Ridwan

Wow, teen angst! How long has it been ?

Giving something a few minutes of thought isn't exactly festering in angst, especially given the overall casual tone of the message. This was pretty uncalled for.

[Archon_Wing]

Originally Posted by Dr. Casey

Giving something a few minutes of thought isn't exactly festering in angst, especially given the overall casual tone of the message. This was pretty uncalled for.

See this is what happens when one fails to read properly. I actually expected an emo thread and was going to post something snarky, but fortunately I spared myself the embarrassment.

Anyhow, the prospect is quite frightening especially when one is young and the idea of death is something that just doesn't happen to you. But in reality it could happen at very moment and then your consciousness will just vanish into nothingness. It does sound crappy. What if your last moments are painful? Does it just get stuck there?

I think the most disturbing concept is of course, your final thoughts, and if your death is sudden, you might not even get the chance of it.

Still, all living things seek to avoid death. I guess it's best to continue living and let it sort itself out... plenty of time after I'm dead anyways.

[Fireminer]

Also, thinking about the prospect of Death in Anime, Manga and Novel. We usually seen death, but rarely one from the Dying's perspective. Maybe it's so complex and chaos?

[Ridwan]

I don't blame him. He's still 17, that's okay. It's indeed, better to recognize that there's death awaiting for us rather then pretending otherwise. Errors in first step towards this is all too common and understandable, however they still shouldn't be shown mercy. Rather then floating around wondering over existentialism and define yourself on which side of argument you agree on, while I'm not saying you can't do that, or about how scary reality really is, you should focus on how to live your life and make sure you won't regret it. If start wondering about death doesn't lead you there, you accomplish nothing. Just an early warning.