MSLN Jokes & Assorted Humour

[Akiyoshi]

I wonder why i haven't finded images or video jokes about Nanoha and Raising Heart doing SHOOP DA WHOOP or I'M FIRE MA LAZER!

[Koveras Alvane]

Here's another one:

----

[Opening: Flash of Nanoha's grim face, her eyes glowing slightly red]

[CAPTION on black screen: Ten years ago, they sent a cyborg from the future to kill Fate Testarossa]

[Flashback of cyborgized Nanoha, then of young Fate shooting her with Photon Lancer]

[CAPTION: ...they failed]

[Another flashback of Cyborg!Nanoha]

[CAPTION: Now they have a new target: the future leader of the resistance]

[Brief distorted flash of Teenage!Vivio]

[CAPTION: Her daughter, Vivio...]

[Scene shift: Vivio sitting on a bike, watching a giant truck crashing off a bridge to pursue her]

[Scene shift: Somewhere on the Mid, a dimensional portal opens]

[CAPTION: Same make]

[Naked Nanoha rises from the portal]

[Scene shift: Older Fate sits in an interrogation room, wearing a straightjacket. Detective Verossa puts some pictures on the table before her. They depict Nanoha in black and white]

Verossa: These were taken at the West Cranagan Police Station, 0074. You were there.

[CAPTION: Same model]

[Brief scene shift: Nanoha threatens some poor bloke with Raging Heart, then turns around and leaves]

[Back to interrogation room: Verossa puts a few more pictures on the table; they are in color, and also depict Nanoha]

Verossa: These were taken today.

Fate: You have to let me see my daughter. She is in great danger.

[Several flashes of Nanoha unleashing Full Power Destruction(tm)]

[CAPTION: New mission]

[Scene shift: Nanoha riding a Harley when she suddenly spots Vivio down below]

[Flashback: Cyborg!Nanoha attacks Young!Fate]

Narrator (VO): Once, she was programmed to destroy the future.

[Flashback: Young!Fate crushes Cyborg!Nanoha with a hydraulic press]

Fate (VO): You don't know what it's like to try to kill one of these things.

[Scene shift: Vivio is cornered by Nanoha and Due pretending to be a policewoman]

Narrator (VO): Now, her misssion...

Nanoha: [to Vivio, as she raises Raging Heart] Get down.

[Vivio ducks, Nanoha blasts Due in the chest]

[Scene shift: Fate and Vivio running along a corridor, when Nanoha breaks through a wall]

Narrator (VO): ...is to protect it.

[Fate stumbles and falls down, Vivio rushes to help her]

Vivio: Mama!

Nanoha: [stands over them and offers an open palm] Come with me if you want to live.

[Fate is absolutely bewildered, Vivio is not better off. Nanoha helps them stand up and leads the way, blasting through another wall]

[Scene shift: Vivio and Nanoha at a parking lot]

Vivio: [completely astonished] You are really real.

Nanoha: [nods wordlessly]

[Brief scene shift: Vivio gives Nanoha a high five]

Narrator (VO): Now, her loyalty is to a child.

[Back at the parking lot]

Vivio: Who sent you?

Nanoha: You did...

[Brief scene shift: Nanoha demonstrating her robotic hand]

Nanoha (VO): ...35 years from now.

[Scene shift: Due shapeshifting]

Narrator (VO): And her enemy...

[Scene shift: Nanoha and Vivio riding a Harley]

Vivio: She is a Combat Cyborg like you, right?

Nanoha: Not like me.

[Scene shift: Due assuming her policewoman form and leaping after a speeding car, smashing it with Piercing Nail. Fate is in the car, trying to shoot her with Bardiche]

Narrator (VO): ...is the deadliest machine ever built.

[Fastforward to after the fight]

Fate: Can she be destroyed?

Nanoha: Unknown.

[Scene shift: Nanoha and Due facing off inside a burning factory]

Narrator (VO): This time, there are two.

[CAPTION: NANOMINATOR 2: JUDGEMENT DAY]

[Scene shift: Nanoha unleashing more Full Power Destruction(tm) with Raging Heart. Shit blows the hell up]

[Scene shift: Vivio confronts Nanoha after a battle]

Vivio: You can't just go around killing people!

Nanoha: Why?

[Rapid scene shifts: Policewoman!Due killing another policeman. Fate, finally wearing her Barrier Jacket, loads a cartridge into Bardiche. Due pursues Vivio, Fate, and Nanoha]

Narrator (VO): If you thought you've seen it all... look again.

[Scene shift: The trio try to escape from Due in a truck. Due is flying a helicopter after them]

Fate: [to Vivio] Stay down! [fires a Plasma Lancer at the helicopter, which then crashes into the truck]

[Scene shift back to the corridor scene. Nanoha is visibly damaged]

Nanoha: Go, NOW!

[The trio enters an elevator. Due charges after then, shooting through the closing doors, then punches through them with Piercing Nail]

[Scene shift back to burning factory]

Vivio: [crying] We're gonna stick together!

[Due punches Nanoha off a bridge]

[Scene shift: Caledfwlch labs. Fate dodges incoming beamspam like no tomorrow. Due comes out of an elevator and gets blasted by Nanoha's Starlight Breaker. Nanoha then emerges from the smoke in the true White Devil fashion]

[CAPTION: NANOMINATOR 2: JUDGEMENT DAY]

[Scene shift: Nanoha and Vivio on a Harley. Nanoha loads a cartidge into Raging Heart and points it at someone]

Narrator (VO): This time, she is back.

[Scene shift: Full Power Destruction(tm)]

Narrator (VO): For good.

Nanoha: [turns around, smiling] Trust me.

----

Spoiler:

Inspired by this image.

[Skane]

I did toss around that idea a fair bit. Although in my version, the red glow is from Raising Heart's standby mode, held in front of Nanoha's eye.

Hehe.

[Skane]

So... I have been catching up on the Vivid manga... and the following came to mind. It just seemed to fit so perfectly.

~~~~ ~~~~

For Centuries The Dimension Sports Activity Association Has Sanctioned An Ancient Rite Of Combat. Known As The Immediate Championship.

Open Only To The World's Most Lethal Mages. It Has Never Been Won By An Ancient Belkan.

Random Participant: "You're not Mid-Childan!"
Einhart: "I can do it!"

Now, For The First Time. The True Story Of Belkan King Hidy E.S Ingvart Can Be Revealed.

Lucetia: "Feel like getting your butt kicked?"
Einhart: "I'm going to participate."
Vivio: "Einhart's going to join the Immediate Competition and we're here to join her."

An Awesome Lady Weapon.

*scene of Einhart punching a building explosively*

*scene of the girls training*
Yuuno: "It hurts me just looking at it."

Who Mingles With An Overpowered Cast.

*scene of a match starting*
Einhart: "I did not come this far to stop now."
Referee: "FIGHT!"

To Enter The Official Competition.

Nanoha: "Couldn't you just get me in?"
Vivio: "Mom!"

Where Every Fighting Style. Every Worthy Opponent. Every Deadly Technique.

*scene of a brutal match*

Clash In Savage Combat.

Nove: "Time to separate the winners from the losers."

And Only One Will Triumph.

Rival: "Now I break you!"

Series Newcomer Einhart Stratos. In...

... VIVID.

The True Story Of The Ultimate Champion.

Background Chant: "Befriend Her! Befriend Her! Befriend Her!"

~~~~ ~~~~

Cheers.

[Tiresias]

Fighting movie?

__________________________________________________ ________________

Cranagan, 0085

The legend of the strike arts master continues.

[Scenes of disciples training in front of Vivio, followed by a montage of Vivio training them.]

Relentless in her quest for life...

...and steadfast in her strike arts principles, she is on her way to be a grandmaster.

Vivio: "I'm Vivio, disciple of Subaru Nakajima. It's my honor to meet you." *politely greets those around her*

[Scene of Vivio dueling Rio, ending with her opponent being trashed away.]

[Nove jumps into the fight arena, and the two fought furiously.]

Nove: "Who gave you permission to teach Strike Arts?"

Vivio: "I've no idea about these rules."

Lutecia: "It's such a hassle to teach strike arts in Cranagan. Let's forget it."

Vivio(VO): "I will continue to teach strike arts, but I will not pay you bribe."

Vivio: *to Nove* "As masters, shouldn't we first teach our disciples well?"

[Scene of Vivio wiping out waves of mooks.]

Ingvalt: *roars in the fighting ring*

[Ingvalt attacks Vivio but Nove intervenes, turning it into a fight between Nove and Ingvalt.]

Nove: *badly battered* "I can abide in order to survive, but I can't tolerate insults to Modern Belka Strike Arts!"

[Ingvalt finishes Nove off.]

[Vivio and Ingvalt meets and the ring, preparing for a life-or-death battle.]

Vivio
2

Vivio(VO): *softly* "Is it more important to win, then have dinner with your family?"

Here's the link, since I don't know whether they released this for western market or not: youtube.com/watch?v=wHcPyRJKUmI

[Akiyoshi]

Originally Posted by Skane

Rival: "Now I break you!"

Background Chant: "Befriend Her! Befriend Her! Befriend Her!"

~~~~ ~~~~

Cheers.

If ViVid ever gets animated(wich is sadly dubious) i invite someone talented enough to make an AMV of the tournament Arc with the song "Fight to Survive"

KUMITE! KUMITE! KUMITE!! xD!

[MeisterBabylon]

Erio's so pimp he's doing commercials!

Spoiler for MANLINESS:

Hello ladies. Look at your man and look at me. Now back at your man then back to ME.

Sadly, he's not me. But if he'd stop using ladies scented bodywash and switched to Old Spice he could at least smell like me.

Look down, back up. You're on the Athra, with the man your man could smell like.

Back in your head, look back. I've got twin catgirls with two tickets to the thing you're gonna be.

Look again. The tickets are now Jewel Seeds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady.

I'm on a dragon.

SMELL LIKE A MAN, MAN
Old Spice

[WarpObscura]

Originally Posted by Tiresias

Fighting movie?

__________________________________________________ ________________

Cranagan, 0085

The legend of the strike arts master continues.

[Scenes of disciples training in front of Vivio, followed by a montage of Vivio training them.]

Relentless in her quest for life...

...and steadfast in her strike arts principles, she is on her way to be a grandmaster.

Vivio: "I'm Vivio, disciple of Subaru Nakajima. It's my honor to meet you." *politely greets those around her*

[Scene of Vivio dueling Rio, ending with her opponent being trashed away.]

[Nove jumps into the fight arena, and the two fought furiously.]

Nove: "Who gave you permission to teach Strike Arts?"

Vivio: "I've no idea about these rules."

Lutecia: "It's such a hassle to teach strike arts in Cranagan. Let's forget it."

Vivio(VO): "I will continue to teach strike arts, but I will not pay you bribe."

Vivio: *to Nove* "As masters, shouldn't we first teach our disciples well?"

[Scene of Vivio wiping out waves of mooks.]

Ingvalt: *roars in the fighting ring*

[Ingvalt attacks Vivio but Nove intervenes, turning it into a fight between Nove and Ingvalt.]

Nove: *badly battered* "I can abide in order to survive, but I can't tolerate insults to Modern Belka Strike Arts!"

[Ingvalt finishes Nove off.]

[Vivio and Ingvalt meets and the ring, preparing for a life-or-death battle.]

Vivio
2

Vivio(VO): *softly* "Is it more important to win, then have dinner with your family?"

Here's the link, since I don't know whether they released this for western market or not: youtube.com/watch?v=wHcPyRJKUmI

It should be Vivio Takamachi, because the title of what you're referring to is the guy's full name.

[Tiresias]

Originally Posted by WarpObscura

It should be Vivio Takamachi, because the title of what you're referring to is the guy's full name.

i knew I missed something...

[Akiyoshi]

[The camera pans around the insides of a hospital room and finally stops on a bed where a pink-haired woman is lying surrounded by sad people]

Shamal: I fear the wounds are …fatal.

[everyone approaches to the bed worried, then a young girl take the dying woman’s hand]

Rein II: Signum you can’t die.

Signum: Do not grieve …soon I shall be one with the core.

Erio: Signum…

Signum: *gasp* ahh... Nanoha-san …it is to you old friend, I shall pass the core of leadership as it was passed to me.

Nanoha: But Signum, I-I’m just a combat instructor, I’m not worthy.

Signum: Nor was I, but one day an Ace shall rise from our ranks, and use the power of the core *gasp* to light our darkest hour…(she slowly lends the wrecked Laevatein pendant to Nanoha) …until that day, till are all one…

[Laevatein slips from Signum’s hands and fall to the ground but Erio catches it and it starts glowing, then he passes it to Nanoha who put it on her neck, Signum’s vitals start to fade as she finally closes her eyes, and turn her head dramatically.]


SIGNUM DIED FOR YOUR SINS!

[Tiresias]

This one is ridiculously easy:

Enforcers are not trained, but chosen. Individuals forged in the fire of service and battle; those whose actions elevate them above the rank-and-file.

Enforcers are an ideal, a symbol. The embodiment of courage, determination, and self-reliance. They are the right hand of the TSAB, instruments of our will.

Enforcers bear a great burden. They are protectors of inter-dimensional peace, both our first and last line of defense. The safety of the universe is theirs to uphold.

[Skane]

Originally Posted by Tiresias

This one is ridiculously easy:

I'm visualising Teana punching a reporter. Hilarity ensues.

Cheers.

[Blank-Mage]

Originally Posted by Skane

I'm visualising Teana punching a reporter. Hilarity ensues.

Cheers.

She learned that from Signum.

[Tiresias]

Major Takamachi
-I've had enough of your snide insinuations! (Punches reporter in the face.)
-I'm pissed off, and when I'm pissed off I shoot things!

Alto Krauetta
-I'm not good, I'm not even great, I am the best damn pilot in the TSAB fleet!
-This is all Alto's fault! What a tool she was! Now I have to spend all day computing pi because she plugged in the Overlord!
-So yeah. Gadget Drone. On the ship. Gadget Drone. ...we’re all fricking insane.

Lutecia's Type-II
-Takamachi-Commander.
-You are Takamachi. Major. TSAB. Human. Fought heretics. Killed by Marriages. Rediscovered on the Garden of Time.

Vita
-If I die here, I'll kill him.
- A lot of people died in this place. Now it's time for a lot of Gadget Drones to join them.
-Abit hammering now and then is nice. Keeps the mind sharp.

Fate Testarossa
-What is it about you Nanoha that makes people think we enjoy being in harm's way?
-I'll be right behind you... that barrier jacket, it is in good condition?
-I did get better, Nanoha. I got you.

Nove
-I am Nove. If you are worthy of your command, prove your strength and try to destroy me.
-Oh, I want to see this! Move! I want to see how long she'll last! She's blowing everything up. I like her!

Cinque
-That may go down in history as the shortest interrogation ever.
-I was chosen for this mission because killing is an art. And I am a Master.
-If we do not carry the burden, then who will?

Shamal
-Lots of ways to help people. Sometimes heal patients; sometimes execute dangerous people. Either way helps.
-Have killed many, Takamachi. Many methods. Steel Yoke, Dimensional Transfer, basic magic attack, Long Range Linker Core steal, once with a food I made. But not with medicine. Never with medicine.

Book of Darkness
-ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL.

Signum
-By the code I will serve you Takamachi. Your choices are my choices. Your morals are my morals. Your wishes are my code.
-My feelings have always come after my duty. The same is true of you, Takamachi.
-I will fight and struggle all my life, that is my fate. When I die, it will not be in bed. I am at peace with that.
-Find peace in the embrace of Hayate.

Vice Granscenic
-Some women find facial scars attractive; mind you, most of those women are Belkan.
-Just like old times, Nee-chan.
-You know me, I always like to savor the last shot before popping the cartridge. [long, awkward pause] Wait... that metaphor just went somewhere horrible.

Gil Graham
-We're at war. No one wants to admit it, but magekind is under attack.
-Salvation comes with a cost. Judge us not by our methods, but what we seek to accomplish.
-If the Al-Hazardi are targeting us, trying to wipe us out, we will stop them.

[Akiyoshi]

I don't know where that came from but is pretty cool and funny xD

[Justin_Brett]

>Graham being Anderson

What's Lindy, chopped liver? And a much better character?

[Tiresias]

Originally Posted by Akiyoshi

I don't know where that came from but is pretty cool and funny xD

Mass Effect 1 & 2

Originally Posted by Justin_Brett

>Graham being Anderson

Actually, he's the Illusive Man

Originally Posted by Justin_Brett

What's Lindy, chopped liver? And a much better character?

Errr, I don't know whether this is sarcasm or not, but in case you felt offended, I'm sorry for not putting up this disclaimer earlier

Originally Posted by Skane

Warning: The following parody is precisely that. A parody. Events depicted here are obviously not canon and may not follow the timeline strictly due to Rule of Cool.

[Koveras Alvane]

Originally Posted by Tiresias

Fate Testarossa
-What is it about you Nanoha that makes people think we enjoy being in harm's way?
-I'll be right behind you... that barrier jacket, it is in good condition?
-I did get better, Nanoha. I got you.

Really? I was thinking more along the lines of...

"Tre's got reinforcements!"
"What kind of guns does this car have?"
"Uh, it's a taxi, it has a fare meter."
"Wonderful..."
"Truck!"
"I know."
"...TRUCK."
"I know!"
*BOOM*
"There we go!"
"You are enjoying this!"

Signum
-Find peace in the embrace of Hayate.

Me: "Uhm, not to say anything about your Master, but... may I find peace in your embrace instead? "

I have a thing for Asari, sorry. -__-'''

Vice Granscenic
-Some women find facial scars attractive; mind you, most of those women are Belkan.

Nanoha: "Hell, Granscenic, you were always ugly. Just slap some face paint on there, and no one will notice."
Vice: "It's only fair, eveyone was always ignoring you and hitting on me - time for you to get a shot."

[Justin_Brett]

Oh, sorry, haven't played 2 yet.

And yeah, Graham's kind of a touchy subject for me.

[WarpObscura]

This is an awful pun.