Dating

[H23]

Originally Posted by Miko Miko

He ain't no pedo..

Convo from yesterday afternoon, I was in isolation for truanting..
Him: Jordan, What're you doing up here?
Me: Isolation.
Him: What for?
Me: Went out.
Him: *Traps me with both of his arms so his head is leaning over mine*
Me: Sir, what do you think of me?
Him: You're a nice kid.
Me: Do you care about me? I mean more than other students.
Him: To be quite honest I do, I do care about everyone at this school, but you always seem to be having a tough time and I want to be the one who'll give you the hug when you need it

(or something like that)

Him: *stands up*
Me: *stands and turns around*
*huggles*

I like the fact he cares about me, makes me happy. Maybe he was just joking around.

... I'm starting to almost think that these posts are a joke to get us all riled up over here over to how disgusting and "weird" that shit is lol.


That, or it's just the fact that.... Youth and Naivety is nice.

[Let'sFightingLove]

Originally Posted by Miko Miko

Your right, I am sorry.

I must admit what he did now seems kind of inappropriate. I will tell him I want to keep contact to a minimum and don't touch me, I also am aware it shouldn't be in the dating thread, i just sort of didn't understand if he was interested in me...

Bs, you knew shit was wrong from the very start.

There's no fucking way you're going to give up the attention and special treatment you're getting from him, no fucking way.

You're immature and naive, no matter what anyone says you're going to continue to exploit the fact he has a penis to make you feel better about yourself, you're going to have to learn the hard way.

Whatever, nothing good on the news these past few days anyway.

[Miko Miko]

Originally Posted by H23

... I'm starting to almost think that these posts are a joke to get us all riled up over here over to how disgusting and "weird" that shit is lol.


That, or it's just the fact that.... Youth and Naivety is nice.

Youth and Naivety is nice? how can that possibly be nice..

Originally Posted by Let'sFightingLove

Bs, you knew shit was wrong from the very start.

There's no fucking way you're going to give up the attention and special treatment you're getting from him, no fucking way.

You're immature and naive, no matter what anyone says you're going to continue to exploit the fact he has a penis to make you feel better about yourself, you're going to have to learn the hard way.

Whatever, nothing good on the news these past few days anyway.

Hey, I just wanted an opinion from an older audience speaking for him, I wanted to know if he was trying to winde me up, or being serious.

And ofcourse now I am more aware of what could happen I will not continue. I think you're comment is a little harsh to be honest. How can you call me immature, a little naive yes.. but immature.. You don't know who I am.

You don't know my previous experiences with older men and what they have put me through. I want to find one that I can atleast trust.

[Splitpersonality]

Originally Posted by Miko Miko

Youth and Naivety is nice? how can that possibly be nice..

Being able to trust people's intentions, is nice. In my opinion at least, being a cold person who is paranoid of being betrayed by anyone they let close to them, is quite... bad? Well I can't think of a specific word to put in there, it estranges you from people though.

Originally Posted by Miko Miko

And ofcourse now I am more aware of what could happen I will not continue. I think you're comment is a little harsh to be honest. How can you call me immature, a little naive yes.. but immature.. You don't know who I am.

I bit my tongue when the previous comment was made, I wanted to say what you said, I wanted to say that we can't ever know what you feel, or what you've been through and we can't possible assume either way what you will or won't do or think, but I realized that that's just it. We, or at least some of us, I'm not sure about others, don't know you, we're not you, or friends who you can confide to in person, and for that reason we must assume the worst in a situation. :/


That's just my outlook at least.

[Ascaloth]

Originally Posted by Miko Miko

Hey, I just wanted an opinion from an older audience speaking for him, I wanted to know if he was trying to winde me up, or being serious.

And ofcourse now I am more aware of what could happen I will not continue. I think you're comment is a little harsh to be honest. How can you call me immature, a little naive yes.. but immature.. You don't know who I am.

You don't know my previous experiences with older men and what they have put me through. I want to find one that I can atleast trust.

Don't let that guy wind you up, Imouto-chan. He doesn't have anything of substance to say. Just listen to those of us who actually have something worth teaching you.

[Miko Miko]

Originally Posted by Splitpersonality

Being able to trust people's intentions, is nice. In my opinion at least, being a cold person who is paranoid of being betrayed by anyone they let close to them, is quite... bad? Well I can't think of a specific word to put in there, it estranges you from people though.



I bit my tongue when the previous comment was made, I wanted to say what you said, I wanted to say that we can't ever know what you feel, or what you've been through and we can't possible assume either way what you will or won't do or think, but I realized that that's just it. We, or at least some of us, I'm not sure about others, don't know you, we're not you, or friends who you can confide to in person, and for that reason we must assume the worst in a situation. :/


That's just my outlook at least.

Originally Posted by Ascaloth

Don't let that guy wind you up, Imouto-chan. He doesn't have anything of substance to say. Just listen to those of us who actually have something worth teaching you.

Thank you!

[Cinocard]

And ofcourse now I am more aware of what could happen I will not continue. I think you're comment is a little harsh to be honest. How can you call me immature, a little naive yes.. but immature.. You don't know who I am.

You don't know my previous experiences with older men and what they have put me through. I want to find one that I can atleast trust.

Sorry for jumping in, but... You know, and I know, nothing nice ever comes out of a high school teacher-student relationship, especially one as young as you and as "aggressive" as him.

If you ask about this issue here, you still hope for something, even though you know the chance in it is dreadfully slim. Are you starving for love that much, or are you not? For one truly mature, I would say the best course of action is to completely crush that feeling even before it has the chance to bloom.

And an off-side note: Pain does not always make a person more mature. Fear does. So they say, maturity is not necessary good

[Miko Miko]

Originally Posted by Cinocard

Sorry for jumping in, but... You know, and I know, nothing nice ever comes out of a high school teacher-student relationship, especially one as young as you and as "aggressive" as him.

If you ask about this issue here, you still hope for something, even though you know the chance in it is dreadfully slim. Are you starving for love that much, or are you not? For one truly mature, I would say the best course of action is to completely crush that feeling even before it has the chance to bloom.

And an off-side note: Pain does not always make a person more mature. Fear does. So they say, maturity is not necessary good

I am not starving for love at all.. it's just we have a wonderful friendship and I only love him as a friend.

I understand what you're saying

[Cinocard]

Oh, that's just a question, not a statement. Anyway, if you can control the relationship well to be just "friend," that would be the best. Even though doing that is much harder than say I myself failed hard in the past, lol.

[Miko Miko]

Originally Posted by Cinocard

Oh, that's just a question, not a statement. Anyway, if you can control the relationship well to be just "friend," that would be the best. Even though doing that is much harder than say I myself failed hard in the past, lol.

Well, I am determined to make this friendship work! So if we both work hard at keeping things 'real' then we can definately achieve a nice friendly and safe relationship.

(and when I say relationship, i mean friendship-wise)

Thanks everyone. Don't know where i'd be without you!

[RadiantBeam]

So, well, I don't mean to bring back a semi-dying topic, but I kind of need some advice... not so much because I like someone or anything, but I guess I'm trying to get my confidence back.

There was this guy, I met him in seventh grade, and we became best friends. I don't know exactly when I fell in love with him, but I definitely know it was love. I never said anything because he always said I was like a sister to him, but he was always so affectionate and touchy-feely, so I kept getting mixed signals. Anyway, I never acted, and he never seemed to realize I liked him.

Senior year of high school a lot of bad things happened, and my image of him changed drastically. Just as I realized I no longer loved him the way I had before, he seemed to suddenly find me attractive and wanting to court me, when honestly I couldn't even view him as a close friend anymore because of what had happened between us.

This all occured after prom, so it was about May or so. Now it's almost October and I'm in college, and I guess I'm really just wondering... how do I get my confidence back and go out? I feel incredibly gunshy now, like really nervous about really getting close to a guy even as a friend because of what happened. And it really sucks because technically I was never in a relationship with my friend, so we were never really dating, but I don't feel completely comfortable with the thought of dating other guys yet, even casually as a "just friends" thing.

So... what do I do?

[whitepearl]

What kinds of bad things happened, if you don't mind me asking?

The suddeness makes me wonder if one of his friends told him to court you "before it's too late." As in "zomg you and her are going to different schools! Tell her now!" or something similar you'd see in some sappy drama.

I used to have that same "fear" you have now...I guess more life experience will help you determine the thresholds of closeness.

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by whitepearl

What kinds of bad things happened, if you don't mind me asking?

Okay... I don't know how long this is going to be, but:

One of our close female friends at the time (a year younger than us, she's a senior in high school now) is bisexual, and she had a girlfriend in another school. However, she never told her parents about this, and thus pulled him in to act as her fake boyfriend.... and along the way, she actually fell for him. He used to like her, but then he got over it and was never direct enough to tell her the truth. During his and my senior year, she broke up with her girlfriend, and somehow he ended up asking her out.

The thing is, he never liked her like that. But he didn't have the courage to break up with her and tell her he wasn't interested. And this whole time he kept going to me for advice, or to vent.... and I'd keep telling him the same thing, but he wouldn't listen to me or say he was just "too nice to do it". Finally, in December they officially broke up, but she kept chasing after him. She even went so far as using one of our friends to go to prom, just so she could dance with him.

Needless to say, by the time prom weekend rolled around I'd had enough. I turned off my cell phone, told him to leave me alone, and spent the whole weekend by myself figuring things out. I was a wreck, and then when we went back to school on Monday he asked me to be his girlfriend as a cover to get her to stop bothering him.

Our parents got worried because we were really close and both of us were being hurt by this, so we talked, and things seemed to go back to normal... and that was when he started to make the moves on me, like he was interested in me, and I was like "WTF?" because I'd fallen out of love with him by this point.

The suddeness makes me wonder if one of his friends told him to court you "before it's too late." As in "zomg you and her are going to different schools! Tell her now!" or something similar you'd see in some sappy drama.

Well, to be fair to him that's partially true.... I'm away at college, and he stayed home to work during the fall semester.

I used to have that same "fear" you have now...I guess more life experience will help you determine the thresholds of closeness.

I'm just afraid I'll never get over it completely. My best friend from high school (she goes to the same college as me, so we spend time together) asked for the full story since she stayed out of the drama at my request, and even though it's been months since then I almost started crying when I told her. I hate thinking that I'll always feel this way.

[whitepearl]

Wow, what a complicated story it turned out to be...

I think the best thing to do (easier said than done) is to try and forget it all happened and treat all prospective opportunities with another guy as a clean slate. Thinking your emotions will be toyed by the guy will only serve to be like a self-fulfilling prophecy.

It won't happen overnight; just give it some time.

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by whitepearl

Wow, what a complicated story it turned out to be...

I think the best thing to do (easier said than done) is to try and forget it all happened and treat all prospective opportunities with another guy as a clean slate. Thinking your emotions will be toyed by the guy will only serve to be like a self-fulfilling prophecy.

It won't happen overnight; just give it some time.

Okay, thanks. I'm just really unsure because my mom texts me and stuff, and she's always asking me if there are cute boys in my class, etc... and I understand she's just being a mom and trying to help out in her own way, but it feels awkward when I'm not really looking right now.

[whitepearl]

Yeah, your mom shouldn't really pressure you into dating...then again, the parents shouldn't really prevent the child from dating (word to my parents -_- ).

The really important thing to know is that it will take a lot of time. It took me many years for me to get over the fact that some girl I was really into was not into me at all. Now, I am finally content with the situation with her as she and I are still friends.

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by whitepearl

The really important thing to know is that it will take a lot of time. It took me many years for me to get over the fact that some girl I was really into was not into me at all. Now, I am finally content with the situation with her as she and I are still friends.

Thank you. I appreciate the advice. ^^

[Splitpersonality]

Well, in my opinion this hurt you because it was someone close to you, who you had high expectations of, both as a friend and someone you were interested in, and these expectations were shattered, because you had an open view into what he was doing. This is what I see it as at least.

I'm sure you didn't need me to say this, or anyone for that matter, but I like outlining things like that, if anything is offer or sounds wrong you can correct me too.


First off, I would say that you need to be realistic, I can very much identify with his situation, and I could certainly give him a bounty of advice on the situation, but this is about you , by realistic I mean you can't expect to wake up tomorrow, see a guy and go "I'm going to date him," you also need to see that you don't need to expect to do that, it's ultimately up to you. When you're ready to date a guy, there will always be a guy somewhere that you can date, so you should probably focus more on your own internal problems then even thinking about adding another person to the mix.


Secondly, you need to realize that you're human, he's human, and everyone you will likely meet is human. People make mistakes, they confuse their feelings and they're really bad about recognizing their own faults and mistakes. Do I think what he did was wrong? Yes. Do I think I would've fared much better if I was in his shoes? No.

I guess what I"m trying to say is, people are going to hurt you if/when they get close, now not all of them will but some will, and from each of these people you need to learn and grow. Now from this particular scenario, you can learn that how people seem ideal when you're crushing on them, they might end up being not as nice, or very manipulative even. You learn that, watch out for it in other people, and grow as a person.

Now that doesn't mean everyone you talk to you be all paranoid about but, well you know keep a healthy skepticism.


Again, this is my opinion, if I stated it like fact I didn't mean it like that, it's just easier for me to speak if I speak in fact.

I hope this helps, even a little

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by Splitpersonality

Secondly, you need to realize that you're human, he's human, and everyone you will likely meet is human. People make mistakes, they confuse their feelings and they're really bad about recognizing their own faults and mistakes. Do I think what he did was wrong? Yes. Do I think I would've fared much better if I was in his shoes? No.

Yeah... a small part of me knows I'm not being fair to him, not completely, but a larger part of me is too hurt to really care. Does that make me a bad person?

I guess what I"m trying to say is, people are going to hurt you if/when they get close, now not all of them will but some will, and from each of these people you need to learn and grow. Now from this particular scenario, you can learn that how people seem ideal when you're crushing on them, they might end up being not as nice, or very manipulative even. You learn that, watch out for it in other people, and grow as a person.

Now that doesn't mean everyone you talk to you be all paranoid about but, well you know keep a healthy skepticism.


Again, this is my opinion, if I stated it like fact I didn't mean it like that, it's just easier for me to speak if I speak in fact.

I hope this helps, even a little

Thank you. It helps a lot.

[Splitpersonality]

No, because him staying with her for his reasons, whatever they may be, I can bet they're selfish. Because he can't stand to break up with her, because he's too nice.

You're allowed to be selfish about wants, if you're hurt, be hurt, don't just bend backwards and let him off the hook when you're upset, don't do that for anyone or people'll just walk all over you :P