Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha Character Creation and Discussion (second reincarnation)

[Evil Rick]

Anyone remember my old OC named Dr. Faust? He's returning as well to Revolution.

Spoiler for Dr. Faust:

Bio coming soon.

[Mirron]

Hey all, I'm back.

*prepares for everyone acting confused due to my brief and unimportant stay*

Hopefully I'll be on more and doing stuff, although I can't guarantee, but if nothing else this thread is interesting.

Anyways, few things.

1. Shame on you guys for not including Itaav in your OC list. I had to track him down so that I can eventually update him. Not tough, but still.

2. All the new media, what's everyone's take on it. The game, movie, and two manga series seem interesting to me. In fact, because of the game...

3. I'm going to attempt to do a pseudo-StrikerS continuity using that as my forward point. It's just an idea, but some ideas such as Hayate being move involved (go Team Darkness) and bringing in Arf, Yuuno, Shamal, and Zafira for more action are other ideas. Plus, it provides me an easy access to introduce new characters if I want.

4. Happy to be back, interesting thread.

[MeisterBabylon]

If you ask me Mirron, I can't find him at all.

But good to see somebody back, though I cant say it is good to be back. The place aint what it used to be.

[Mirron]

I found him. Link: http://forums.animesuki.com/showpost...postcount=1462

Thankfully my number of posts was small, I was able to narrow down the search. I'll probably wind up posting an update of him sometime later (not sure how much later. Going to watch Nanoha so I can get in the right mood, so it'll probably be some time).

And I saw that there have been a number of problems. Lots of interesting arguments, just in the past... 58 pages? Something like that.

[MeisterBabylon]

I'd recommend just reading the manga and soundstages that came after StrikerS. FORCE was what got me going again, though the steam's worn off too. Besides, everyone here has moved on to other anime/manga/Starcraft/TOR from Nanoha.

[Mirron]

Read the manga already, no idea where the Soundstages would be though. And it's mainly so that I can get used to Nanoha again. Been a while since I've done that. Although I myself have other interests too, hopefully I'll keep it as core Nanoha as I can get.

[Tempy]

Kha speaks for himself when it comes to who's still around and who has moved on.

Gonna need to poke ghaz if you want the OC list updated. He's the only one to do it.

I haven't seen the movie, nor have I read the manga associated with it. If the chatter in the movie thread is any indication, it's pretty much the first season.

You can find the Sound Stages in their dedicated thread somewhere in here. Oh, found it.

Force is slowly being translated, while ViviD is stalled with lack of translator. In any case, I'm leaning on not involving those series just yet.

The game, however, has allowed for three whole new characters, of which I used in my Side Dishes shorts.

...

Man I'm hungry.

[Mirron]

I suppose I'll have to get reading. Looks like a lot. :P

My character is a bit old. I'll probably post him later, once I've updated him and such.

What's the story in the game? I can't read Japanese sadly, but I understand the concept. Mind filling me in? It'd be helpful, especially since I plan on going off of that continuity.

[itanshi1]

The game thread translated and explained much of it. basically an AU for A's. Shadow selves known as Materials spawned from the book to fight. it is a fighting game btw. It's good if not beam spam heavy lol

[Nya~n]

Originally Posted by Tempy

Gonna need to poke ghaz if you want the OC list updated. He's the only one to do it.

i did. he was too lazy to.

[Mirron]

So then, I'd like to see if, after all this time, what people's suggestions for my character are. I have more things in mind for him, but I think starting from the beginning and then trying to work in suggestions would be nice.

Spoiler for My Character:

Name: Itaav Zephyr
Gender: Male
Age: 19 (StrikerS, Battle of Aces timeline)
Alignment: Lawful Good
Appearance: Itaav is of relatively average size, being 6 feet and 7 inches. His hair is relatively long, and is not kept in any particular style. Itaav has slightly pale skin, while his hair is blond, and his eyes are a dark green. Mirron wears a relatively light outfit, preferring to wear sleeveless shirts when not in uniform and light jeans.
Personality: Itaav is a very positive individual. He has an optimistic attitude, and likes to believe the best in people. A very trusting individual, he also is intelligent. He likes to analyze situations and respond accordingly. He is also really stubborn about what he believes in, and doesn't give up. I'd post more, but I'm trying not to include a large analysis.
Background: Itaav grew up at the Saint Church, placed there by his family shortly after his birth. All they left behind was his name, and his device. Despite growing up around so many other children, he was a shy kid, often spending time in the library. He loved all the books the Church had gathered over the years, reading at a young age. His favorite books were the ones about the heroes of the Church, strong and brave, fighting against harrowing odds to do good. After some time, his goal came to be that, to do good and make things better in the world. At an early age he applied for the Cleric Knight program, hoping to become more capable in combat. It was at this time that he first tried activating his Device. The Device was named Vidofnir, an Armed Device shaped like a Polearm, specializing in Itaav's element, wind. Itaav spent much time practicing after that, hoping to be capable of using the Device to it's full capabilities some day. One day, around the age of 17, he applied to join the Ground Forces division of TSAB, to train more. Shortly after he was drawn into Hayate's Team Darkness on Riot Force 6, due to his good teamwork with his fellow members.
Homeworld: Saint Church, Mid-Childa.

Magic System: Velka
Weapon: Vidofnir the Winged Lance
Magic Color: Chartreuse
Combat Role: Forward Protection

Forms

Itaav
Schwadenform: Itaav's primary form. Offering heavy protection, this form uses Knight's Armor. With increased defenses, this form is of most use when fighting against multiple opponents or in a group with allies. This form, when combined with Schildform, provides the utmost defensive capability of his team, allowing him to take powerful hits with reduced damage. However, the offensive capabilities of this form are lower, due to the increased difficulty in attacking with his weapon.
Luftform: Itaav's secondary form. Offering only moderate protection, this form uses Knight's Garb as opposed to Knight's Armor. Despite lacking in protection, it makes up for it with increased mobility. Primarily used when he's on his own, or when he's fighting a low-damage, high hit enemy.

Vidofnir
Standby Form: Vidofnir's inactive form. Always around Itaav's neck, it's a simple metal necklace with a small spear dangling from it. The spear itself is made of a green stone.
Stangenform: Vidofnir's basic active form. Known as a winged spear, the shaft is taller than Itaav, the spear head itself adding a little extra length. Beneath the wings of the spear is the cartridge system. The shaft and cartridge system are green, while the spear head is silver.
Schildform: Vidofnir's second form. In this form, Vidofnir shrinks, turning the extra mass into a small buckler. The spear itself remains basically unchanged, beyond shrinking. The shield is decently sized, a bright green with two silver wings on the front end of the shield. Designed to increase his defensive prowess, changing Vidofnir to this form uses one cartridge capsule.
Doppeltform: Vidofnir's third form. In this form, Vidofnir shrinks in size, using the extra mass to generate a second spear. Both spears are identical to each other, both capable of being wielded in one-hand as well. Designed to increase his offensive prowess, changing Vidofnir to this form uses one cartridge capsule.
Letzteform: Vidofnir's final form, a combination of his previous forms. In this form, two large tower shields are generated, in addition to a second spear the size of his normal one. One of the spears as well as one of the shields float at Itaav's command, and he can change a spear to a shield or vice versa when needed. This form is difficult to use for extended periods of time, and thus is used sparingly. Designed to help him tackle a problem to the best of his ability, he uses it to help protect his allies from afar if need be.

Defensive Abilities

Knight Armor: Itaav's armor is chartreuse. The helmet is a peaked great helm, and has a pair of small metallic wings attached at the sides. His neck armor is made of multiple plates stacked on top of each other, while his torso is protected by a cuirass, as well as a cape. The torso has no particular design alterations, although like the cape it sports a Velkan magic triangle, covering the chest area while the cape has it all along the edge of the cape. The torso has the symbol lifted up out of the surrounding area, while the cape has the design done in white thread. The cape reaches down to Itaav's ankles. Itaav wears metallic gauntlets to protect his hands, the gauntlets reaching slightly past his wrist, a pair of silver wings at the wrist. The legs are much the same as the arms, with a pair of wings at the ankles, while the boots are decently sized, reaching up past the ankle.

Knight Garb: Itaav's garb is chartreuse. The helmet is dropped in this form, and the armor is considerably less bulky. The gauntlets are dropped, and the boots become shoes, made of a tough material but not as strong. Wearing a nice tunic and green leggings, this form loses much of the overall armor, instead being replaced with a lighter, less durable material in key areas, and being dropped altogether in others.

Panzer Schild: Similar to Vita and Signum's, this forms a green Velkan triangle to protect from energy attacks.

Panzer Hindernis: Creates a green crystal-like barrier around Itaav. The barrier protects from all directions, but is less focused.

Flügel: Itaav gets small wings around his feet, and floats slightly off the ground. His speed greatly increases while using this, and he is also capable of doing longer and higher jumps, as well as lessening the speed of his fall.

Offensive Powers

Brisedurchbohren: Itaav creates a ball of compressed air, and pierces through it, propelling the ball forward at high speeds. Several balls can be in a line and knocked forward with one blow, and blast into the enemy.

Frühlingschlag: Itaav expends two cartridges and then begins to shimmer slightly. Itaav then vanishes from sight, and stabs the enemy in four different places at high speeds before reappearing.

Luftscheibe: Itaav activates the rocket under the spearhead, causing the spear head to shoot forth at high speeds. The spearhead is able to change directions by adjusting the rocket, and attacks without prompt from Itaav.

Sturmspeer: Itaav uses two cartridges, causing the wind to speed up and head towards the enemy. Itaav then tosses Vidofnir and activates the rocket system, using the wind to guide Vidofnir towards the enemy. Mirron is able to call back Vidofnir to his hand if necessary.

Glefenknall: Itaav coats the blade in powerful, compressed air that expands when struck against an enemy.

Spinnendesblatt: Itaav expends two cartridges, and twirls his weapon around at high speeds, creating a small, personal whirlwind around him.

Hurrikan: Itaav expends four cartridges, and tosses Vidofnir at the enemy, activating the rocket engine Vidofnir then creates an even larger and more powerful form of Spinnendesblatt except for it being away from Itaav.

Grünerdrache: Itaav expends five cartridges, and leaps into the air, gathering a large amount of wind power with him. He then activates the rocket system, propelling himself at the enemy and stabbing the air into them, then releasing it with a second slice from the other end of Vidofnir.

That's it for now.

[MeisterBabylon]

Einzbern.

[Mirron]

Ah, my young days. It was the only German sounding name I could think of at the time. I may wind up changing it in the long-run, but it's not too important just yet.

[Kyral]

Originally Posted by MeisterBabylon

Besides, everyone here has moved on to other anime/manga/Starcraft/TOR from Nanoha.

Hey! Even I came back after I got some inspiration again. And as we speak I'm piecing together the layout of my next chapter.

Originally Posted by Mirron

So then, I'd like to see if, after all this time, what people's suggestions for my character are. I have more things in mind for him, but I think starting from the beginning and then trying to work in suggestions would be nice.

Spoiler for My Character:

*snip*

That's it for now.

Ah, good ol' Germanese.

They make all more or less sense.
But you really should put some spaces in some of the words. Like "Spinnendes Blatt" and "Grüner Drache", you can't write them together when it's an adjective followed by a noun.
"Brisedurchbohren" sounds very strange. And why "Begrenzungsform" (Limitationform)?

His spells seem fine, too me.

Can't say much about him as a person. This is something I have to see how he reacts in certain situations. Especialy I'd like to see what his faults are.

Oh, and seeing the word Velka... Funny how I also used to write it like that and today It somehow confuses me, same with Raging Heart.

[MeisterBabylon]

Ah a Kyral!

*catches and drags him to go vet a very old but recently resurrected Belka spell list*

Don't worry; I''ve at least changed all the Velka to Belka.

[Nya~n]

Originally Posted by Mirron

Name: Itaav Einzbern
Gender: Male
Age: 17 (StrikerS Timeline, I think)
Alignment: Neutral Good

A mage proficiency rank or linker core output level would be nice to include, if only just to see roughly where he stands. Liked the fact that he uses his device like a javelin. I tried playing with the idea of mine using his device as such, but it just wasn't his style nor device's function despite its shape.

About Frühlingschlag though... Is there anything that stops him or renders him susceptible to detection when he vanishes from view, or is it a sure-hit attack like its description suggests due to the "re-appears only after the attack takes place" condition?

[Mirron]

Heh, this is a bit old, so there are probably some things that make no sense.

I speak zilch in the German department. All I did was feed them through a translator at the time and let some people look them over for corrections. I know Saint X helped me with my guy's spell abilities, and Kyral may have as well (sounds familiar, at least). I'll have to look it over to see what he should have.

Yeah... that spell doesn't make sense. I'm not sure what I had in mind when I originally made it. As for spell and rank potential, I'm guessing he'd be roughly akin to the Striker Forwards, given that the current plan is to implement him in the third team.

And the spear was originally because it seemed cool, and I was hoping to tie him in with ancient Velka. I may still do so, given I've had a number of different ideas in regards to him, but I'll still keep the spear, I've grown attached.

[Mirron]

Character has been updated. I changed the backstory and updated the forms list. Next step is to work on spells.

[Evil Rick]

Another old OC returning to Nanoha Revolution, previously named Lolikon in Nanoha Rise of Techno-Union, meet the new Abigorn!

Spoiler for Abigorn look:

Once all renders are done, bios will be posted, only a couple more!

[Mirron]

Ick, it's a zombie! Run away...

*confusion* Explanation for why there's an undead-looking thing for a character? Curious as to what it is and the deal behind it, myself.

Also, other magic systems and explanations on current ones, links anyone? I'd like to see what other systems people have put out, and what they think of the current ones (beyond the Nanoha Wiki), primarily because that's one of my big draws to the series. The magic in it is awesome.