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Old 2008-12-28, 20:27   Link #11661
BPHaru
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by DezoPenguin View Post
And in clearing out my backlog at ff.net, Sunder the Gold's review of my latest posting of a gag-fic there (it was the one with Bardiche going into sword-chuck mode) made me think of this little bit, in which I finally begin to understand why Fate is always the guy:

Spoiler for GAR! is Why They Call Her Papa:
That was epic, we so need a fanart of this...
I LOL'd at the last line xD
Good job, DezoPenguin~

It's good to hear that our magnificent Sa-nyan will be writing more Vampire!Fate and Dream Wing. I'll be looking forward to them ^^

Cuídense y sigan sonriendo
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Old 2008-12-28, 20:31   Link #11662
NorthernFallout
The Interstellar Medium
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Join Date: May 2008
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Age: 34
Before going off on my yearly 1-week, unstoppable, skiing trip, I thought I would drop a few words (2.30 am, tired, can't think.)

FotR Chapter 11 is drawing to a close. I have most of the plot and it just needs refining and a finish. Might not finish it this year as first planned so it will take a while longer due to exams.

True Lies Chapter 2 is currently inactive. I have ideas but will focus on finishing FotR for the time being.

As some of you might remember I did a fic called "No Escape". While the premise was good and I at least managed to communicate a general feeling, I feel I could have developed it a lot more and make it a mini-story with more refined text and plot.

That's why "No Escape Uncut" will be worked on and probably finished within a few months.
More info, more traps and more gore awaits for those who reads.

So with that, see you on the 5th.
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Old 2008-12-28, 21:25   Link #11663
RadiantBeam
Test Drive
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...

Elise/Nanoha sister fluff pre-BTBR is fun to write. :3

Occurs right after Nanoha comes to live with Elise, after the bond has been established.

Spoiler for Come What May:


I messed up the timeline; Fiasse's conflict with the TSAB (which also is linked to Elise) occured fifteen years ago, not ten. So by my math, Elise is currently twenty-five in BTBR, and she would have been ten when "something bad happened".
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Old 2008-12-28, 21:35   Link #11664
Polyisobutene
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Age: 34
I am going to be old and graying before I get to even read half of these fanfictions...there are so many. To start with, the insane little shorts, crack, are awesome. TheShinySword, those shorts are great for a laugh! Besides that, I don't think that the crack wants to be reviewed...but I still give you props for writing something so funny!

On to what I have found so far. Thanks for the warm welcome! I thank XenahortCharybdis for the kindly welcome, as well as Satashi.

I have finished reading the first part of The Zenith Project, and it looks very impressive.

Spoiler for Review for The Zenith Project:


Quote:
Originally Posted by XenahortCharybdis View Post
Okay, first off, Allo-Allo to our new member, Mr. Polyisobutene.

Secondly, A BELATED MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL!

I'm sorry, but I couldn't help but be late this time...honest!

Anyway, now. I have just completed the second chapter of

The ZENITH Project

Chapter 1: Where things start as they should, mostly.

Chapter 2: Where important things are conspired in the light of the setting sun.

Spoiler for Part 1:


NOTE: As per my usual, OC character introductions (Snark Mode) are reserved for such a time as when the chapter is actually over in the first place. Also, I'll probably be replacing these links with the more compact Fanfiction.net Links the moment I actually get the rights to do it, which is some time from now. Oh well But in the meantime, I'll be starting a short project, which is to read almost every fic that I have had sufficient expressed interest in, and write a review on it. No small thing, of course, but I do believe it will be a pretty beneficial thing, supposing that I do my own training in these matters justice XD

And on that note, I end what is likely my longest post in FFT thus far. Hooray for Fon Filia, Hooray for Nanoha.

*cheers in the distance*

Lolwut.
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Old 2008-12-28, 22:13   Link #11665
TheShinySword
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Polyisobutene View Post
I am going to be old and graying before I get to even read half of these fanfictions...there are so many. To start with, the insane little shorts, crack, are awesome. TheShinySword, those shorts are great for a laugh! Besides that, I don't think that the crack wants to be reviewed...but I still give you props for writing something so funny!
Yes yes please don't review any of my crack or short shorts as for the most part I literally write them on the forum and rarely even read them over course I do have plenty of noncracky things for you to review if you wish
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Old 2008-12-29, 00:38   Link #11666
XenahortCharybdis
does whatever he wants.
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Polyisobutene View Post
I am going to be old and graying before I get to even read half of these fanfictions...there are so many. To start with, the insane little shorts, crack, are awesome. TheShinySword, those shorts are great for a laugh! Besides that, I don't think that the crack wants to be reviewed...but I still give you props for writing something so funny!
Nah, it doesn't take that long to read them. Just pick some longer fics of sense to read, and then read the crack and humor as you like. It makes life much more relaxing, and much more amusing.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Polyisobutene View Post
This is very very good. The use of language in this is impressive to say the least. I really liked the narration of it all, the blending of third person and first person was done well, and not overbearingly or in a corny way. The italics are a good way to do that, I have also seen them intergrate that into the third person as well. I think that you made a great choice, the narration style goes better with the italics!
Wait till you sit through chapter after chapter of this, and then if you still say it's great, then I'll consider it my accomplishment. For now, let's just say that 'it's still going well', mmm?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Polyisobutene View Post
As inspiring as the language is, I felt kind of like the characters dialouge was influenced by it. They sounded very witty and astute for almost the whole fanfiction, or cuttingly witty, but the dialouge feels stiff. I think that has to do with the situation, and it flows naturally, but it felt uncomfortable, kind of scripted. The narration is heavy and eats away at some of the ebb and flow of the speaking. I think with all the focus on the narrorator that the dialouge was just leaned on a bit by the same 'voice'.
Now this is a rather pertinent point. I'm still working on tweaking just how much I want my own vocabulary to engrave itself into people's conversations and their daily speech, although the sensible will only be done sensibly; you won't be seeing me dead writing EloquentSpeech!Vita. Maybe if I write her taking Public Speaking classes, you might see that a couple of chapters later.

Alright, I'm kidding about Vita. She wouldn't be seen dead taking too many of those either, I expect. Also, I have a weak spot for the Babble-on (or Babylon) Syndrome, and that I acknowledge freely. I'm still working on just how long I can afford to have my sentences, and just how much I should leave the talking to just be talking, and then let the reader imagine how they'd say it on their own. Another factor in this is also the fact that most of the OCs introduced (Erik, Ashcroft and Charlotte) are fairly eloquent in nature, the former one because of himself and his position of command, and the latter two because of their relationship, which has more or less shaped the way they talk to each other.

Spoiler for On Scriptedness:


More here

Spoiler for On Hayate and eloquence:

Spoiler for On Erik and Eloquence:

Spoiler for On Ash/Charl and Eloquence:


Quote:
Originally Posted by Polyisobutene View Post
With that said, I think that this looks really interesting! Having read only the first part I cannot say anything major plotwise...but from the formatting and everything else it looks wonderful.
Thanks a lot for the review. I appreciate your help in helping me refine my writings as well

Xena

EDIT: The next part of my fic will probably come once at least 3 people have posted following this. It's pretty impolite to incovenience people with a deluge of text and then do it again just one post later. On the other hand, Chapter 2's Part 3 is the shortest of all parts posted thus far, so it shouldn't be too bad. Still, I wait =3

Last edited by XenahortCharybdis; 2008-12-29 at 23:07.
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Old 2008-12-29, 09:00   Link #11667
Hiria
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Join Date: Jul 2008
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
...

Elise/Nanoha sister fluff pre-BTBR is fun to write. :3

Occurs right after Nanoha comes to live with Elise, after the bond has been established.

Spoiler for Come What May:


I messed up the timeline; Fiasse's conflict with the TSAB (which also is linked to Elise) occured fifteen years ago, not ten. So by my math, Elise is currently twenty-five in BTBR, and she would have been ten when "something bad happened".

awwww. cute. I love how you show their bond. ^^
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Old 2008-12-30, 04:39   Link #11668
XenahortCharybdis
does whatever he wants.
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Atop a hill of words.
Alright, I've been resisting this itch in my hands for long enough. It is what happens when you spend the Christmas-New Year interim completely free and there's not much action

Ready, Aim, Fire Away.

Irreverend Xena's Review of The Gospel of Judas by Tempest Dynasty:

Chapter 1: The Rage Starts Here
Chapter 2: Fiery Eyes of Lunacy

Spoiler for Review:


~This Review is Also on OCT~

Last edited by XenahortCharybdis; 2008-12-30 at 04:59.
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Old 2008-12-30, 05:27   Link #11669
TerranReaper
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Join Date: Oct 2008
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Spoiler for KOTR Chapter 14:

Ah, it's great to be back from Penang.

Last edited by TerranReaper; 2008-12-30 at 11:31.
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Old 2008-12-30, 09:50   Link #11670
XenahortCharybdis
does whatever he wants.
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
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Ah, so there, I lurked long enough to find a KOTR post, although the downside is that I'll have to churn out ONE review for FOURTEEN chapters...or else I'll do some extra organization work to cover for the trouble it'll cause me

@TerranReaper: That picture is pretty fine (though the side-view masked man and the aircraft leaves much to be desired), by the way, and if it's yours, then all the more you're making me curse the fact that I haven't drawn a THING since I finished my Zenith group pic. Maybe I will for one of my later chapers...maybe...

Zenith's Chapter 2 Part 3

Chapter 1: Where things start as they should. Um, mostly.

Chapter 2: Where important things are conspired in the light of the setting sun.

Part 1 of 3
Part 2 of 3
Spoiler for Part 3 - The one that was Shortened:

Last edited by XenahortCharybdis; 2008-12-30 at 11:35.
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Old 2008-12-30, 14:16   Link #11671
Dusk_
Forever Fallen
 
 
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It's been forever since I've posted anything here...well, at least I'm still writing, right?

The first few chapters of Moving On are up on FF.net, if anyone needs a refresher . This chapter should be there soon too.

Spoiler for Moving On - 3:


And thanks to markesellus for betaing .
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Old 2008-12-30, 15:41   Link #11672
Satashi
Vividly Vivio
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Spoiler for Previously:
Spoiler for PornStar!Vivio Pt.59:


How's that for a long update Almost finished ^_^ tomorrow is the big dayfor them~
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Old 2008-12-31, 00:12   Link #11673
Jimmy C
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
PornStar!Vivio Pt.59
Spoiler for Some slight glitches:


Other than those, wonderful chapter! The family interactions are classic you.

Quote:
I remembered him because we spent almost three hours just chatting.
Not sure if this is actually possible, based on her schedule at the "Peaches" place, wouldn't she have some more performances on the main stage in less time than that?

Quote:
I don't know if I could handle knowing my girlfriend gave my father a lap dance...
Two things here. Starting with, he didn't see Vivio perform on the main stage before being tossed into a private room by his friends? Not an impossible situation if you juggle the timing.
That leads to the second, you should change it to "...I can handle..." if he did and "...I could have handled..." if he didn't.
If he did, then Vivio might have had to give the family a private show, so that she doesn't leave Elena out.

Quote:
“I haven't been here in about three or four months now.”
More than that, I think. Based on earlier chapters, I get the impression that she hadn't been home in months when she first met Vivio, and she certainly hadn't been home since.

Quote:
I won't show her, if you let me fix your hair tomorrow?
Ah, but they didn't wait till tomorrow. Or are they going to go at it again tomorrow?

Quote:
Almost finished ^_^ tomorrow is the big day for them~
The end is in sight, eh? It's been quite a ride.

Last edited by Jimmy C; 2008-12-31 at 06:44.
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Old 2008-12-31, 07:10   Link #11674
Raging Heart
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
Spoiler for Previously:
Spoiler for PornStar!Vivio Pt.59:


How's that for a long update Almost finished ^_^ tomorrow is the big dayfor them~

nicely done, i can't wait then.
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Old 2008-12-31, 14:21   Link #11675
Satashi
Vividly Vivio
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Spoiler for PornStar!Vivio pt.60:

Spoiler for after reading:
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Old 2008-12-31, 15:37   Link #11676
Sassy_Bread
I'm umami.
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
Spoiler for PornStar!Vivio pt.60:

Spoiler for after reading:

Oh man...it's been a while I read PS! Vivio. Can somebody give me a recap of what went on after the two girls made up? I couldn't read everything because of college work and finals.

Btw....hmmm, is this taking place on Thanksgiving? Or on Christmas? The turkey makes me think of Thanksgiving...so...
Just wondering... >_>
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Old 2008-12-31, 16:27   Link #11677
Kaix
[. . .]
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DezoPenguin View Post
@Satashi: Good to hear you'll have more time next week! Better to hear there'll be more V!F and "Synergy" once PS!V is wrapped up...

@Shiny: *zeroes in on any mention of Magical Babysitter Zaffy* *comes in for another pass on mention of RebelS*

And in clearing out my backlog at ff.net, Sunder the Gold's review of my latest posting of a gag-fic there (it was the one with Bardiche going into sword-chuck mode) made me think of this little bit, in which I finally begin to understand why Fate is always the guy:

Spoiler for GAR! is Why They Call Her Papa:
That was awesome beyond awesome! Bardiche sure picked an epic model to imitate.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShinySword View Post
Quick Crack time

Spoiler for Oh noes! Trouble! What will Vivio do?:


Zaffy! Zaffy! Tasukete Zaffy!
The snacks... This sure brought a good laugh.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
...

Elise/Nanoha sister fluff pre-BTBR is fun to write. :3

Occurs right after Nanoha comes to live with Elise, after the bond has been established.

Spoiler for Come What May:


I messed up the timeline; Fiasse's conflict with the TSAB (which also is linked to Elise) occured fifteen years ago, not ten. So by my math, Elise is currently twenty-five in BTBR, and she would have been ten when "something bad happened".
I think I have only one word: Awww. Even more great bonding between Nanoha and Elise.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dusk_ View Post
It's been forever since I've posted anything here...well, at least I'm still writing, right?

The first few chapters of Moving On are up on FF.net, if anyone needs a refresher . This chapter should be there soon too.

Spoiler for Moving On - 3:


And thanks to markesellus for betaing .
By the way it was going, it seemed sure that Hayate and Reinforce would meet eventually, but it seems their plans were different. It's interesting to see Reinforce meeting some more people, Momoko especially. The introduction of these other characters brought quite a surprise. Shamal's cooking strikes again.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
Spoiler for PornStar!Vivio pt.60:

Spoiler for after reading:
A cruel reminder of how evil cliffhangers can be.


Happy New Year everyone!
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Last edited by Kaix; 2008-12-31 at 17:02.
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Old 2008-12-31, 19:29   Link #11678
Satashi
Vividly Vivio
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Semi off topic here........

I've been requested to give the Whasil recipe found in both my Christmas story and my thanksgiving one for PS!V....sooooooo here it is ^^
Spoiler for Drinks recipes:
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Old 2008-12-31, 21:48   Link #11679
DezoPenguin
Beta by Accident
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BPHaru View Post
That was epic, we so need a fanart of this...
Actually, Archer!Fate fanart would be pretty cool to see, at that...

Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
...

Elise/Nanoha sister fluff pre-BTBR is fun to write. :3

Occurs right after Nanoha comes to live with Elise, after the bond has been established.

Spoiler for Come What May:

Awwww! So sweet!

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShinySword View Post
Yes yes please don't review any of my crack or short shorts as for the most part I literally write them on the forum and rarely even read them over course I do have plenty of noncracky things for you to review if you wish
I'd say that for crack, there are only two questions that need to be answered in a review:

1. Did it make you laugh? (Yes? No? I was too offended to think of laughing?)
2. How hard? (A little chuckle? Milk came out my nose?)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
[/spoiler][/spoiler]
Spoiler for PornStar!Vivio Pt.59:


How's that for a long update Almost finished ^_^ tomorrow is the big dayfor them~
You know, I think Syn would have felt more comfortable if her dad really had been a "fan" and the resulting debate had kept Elena and Vivio from double-team Barbie-dolling her...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
Spoiler for PornStar!Vivio pt.60:
Eeeeeeeevil New Year's cliffhanger! Can't wait to see how this goes down; you traditionally do very well with emotional blow-ups, whether angry, grieving, or tender.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
Semi off topic here........

I've been requested to give the Whasil recipe found in both my Christmas story and my thanksgiving one for PS!V....sooooooo here it is ^^

[/spoiler]
Actually, the tea recipe sounds pretty good... So I gather it's called "Whasil" instead of "Wassail" because it's a Mid-Childan beverage?

Edit: HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Last edited by DezoPenguin; 2009-01-01 at 00:28. Reason: 2009!
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Old 2009-01-01, 06:36   Link #11680
Advent000
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
Spoiler for PornStar!Vivio pt.60:

Spoiler for after reading:
So, she meets Vita first.
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