2008-02-14, 14:34 | Link #1763 |
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The Amish Boy
An Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, "What is this, Father?" The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is." While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat, old lady went up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady passed between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blonde stepped out. The father said quietly to his son... "Go get your mother." |
2008-02-14, 18:03 | Link #1765 | |
Urusai~Urusai~Urusai~
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Location
Age: 31
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2008-02-14, 21:39 | Link #1766 |
^.^
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Toronto
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A blonde is driving recklessly down the highway. The police on duty notices her insane driving, and quickly decides to pull her over.
Once he gets to the window, he asks, "Ma'am, can you PLEASE explain to me why you're driving so crazily on the highway?" She replies, "Sorry sir, but I just can't seem to get rid of this tree infront of my car. It follows me everywhere I go!" The police looks over to the front, and says, "Ma'am, that's not a tree. That's your air freshener." Chris Tucker comedy, there's mature subject matter, watch and laugh at your own risk. *Might I add that his Stand up Comedy is truly one of a kind. P.S. if I'm not allowed to put this material because it's too explicit in anyone's opinion, or if mods/admins find this too explicit, let me know, or you can just remove it, but I don't think it has any *offensive* material to a subject group or person.
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Last edited by ApostleOfGod; 2008-02-14 at 21:54. |
2008-02-15, 15:51 | Link #1769 |
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Could you feel me in on what he is saying?
This is how I understand it.. This edison is being internet bullied and this guy has his back lol here is my joke of the day. Late night out A man tells his wife that he's going out to buy cigarettes. When he gets to the store he finds out however , that it's closed. So the guy ends up going down to the local bar to use the vending machine. While there he had a few beer and began talking to this beautiful girl. He had a few more beer and the next thing he knew he was in this girl's apartment and having quite a pleasurable time. The next thing he knew it was 3:00 AM. "Oh my, god , my wife is going to kill me!" he exclaimed. "Quick give me some talcum powder!" She got him some and he rubbed it all over his hands. When he got home his wife was up waiting for him and she was furious. "Where the hell have you been!" He said, "Well to tell you the truth, I went into a bar, had a few drinks, went home with this blonde and I slept with her." "Let me see your hands!" she demanded. He showed his wife his powdery hands. "Damn liar, You were out bowling again!" |
2008-02-15, 16:13 | Link #1770 | |
Inactive Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
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2008-02-15, 20:17 | Link #1772 |
Ha ha ha ha ha...
Graphic Designer
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Right behind you.
Age: 35
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Lol, thanks Dxon, that was hilarious. "IM FIRING MAH LAZER!!"
It was funny because you absolutely KNEW it was coming, but half the time it was from an unexpected source.
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2008-02-16, 11:42 | Link #1779 |
It's the year 3030...
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Spaceport Colony Sicilia
Age: 39
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Some wise words from Confucius:
"He who go to bed with itchy butt, wake up with sticky finger." "Baseball all wrong...man with four balls cannot walk." "Man who fight wife all day, get no piece at night." "Man who fishes in other man's well, often catch crabs." "When called an idiot, sometimes better to keep mouth shut, rather than open mouth and remove all doubt." "A bird in hand makes hard to blow nose."
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