Rose Rabbit's Magical Adventure (I)
Oho! I caught something! I actually caught something in this fish-forsaken river!
No, wait, it was just an old tire. Just like the last three times. ...Where are all these coming from?
Oh well. I tossed the tire over my shoulder without looking. Upon hearing the distinctive crash of rubber hitting tarpaulin, I realized I had accidentally destroyed my own tent. Again.
Well, it's not as if I actually sleep in there, but... aaah, this is too much effort to go set it up over and over again!
[DECISION POINT HERE]
1)Wouldn't it be less effort to actually look where I'm throwing things?
2)But this is all part of the experience!
---
Choice 1
Come to think of it... shouldn't I just go place the things I find on the ground NEXT to the tent? Or, better yet, throw them back in the river?
It's amazing the things I'll never think of. I'll have to more careful from now on. Careful, yes.
---
Choice 2
Yes! Finding useless non-fish-like objects, and throwing them behind me blindly without remembering that my tent is not three meters away, is all part of the life of a dedicated fisherman!
Phew, I almost forgot. I was about to actually start being more careful. Can't have that, no.
---
Either way, back to fishing! Fishing for fish that might not exist!
Not long after I continued fishing for fish that might not exist, I heard someone screaming NOOOOOOO from not too far away. However, at the time, I was too absorbed in the process of watching my line for the least signs of movement, and so I decided to just ignore it. In the same way, I later ignored the sound of pitter-pattering feet running towards me, stopping for a second, running for another second, and then halting entirely.
...
...
...
Oho! I caught something! I actually caught something in this fish-forsaken river!
No, wait, it was just a front bumper. ...I'm going to be able to build an entire car at this rate.
I was about to toss it over my shoulder, but then I remembered that I'd just have to pitch my tent again for the fifth time, so I decided to put it inside the tent with the tires instead.
But, when I entered my tent... I found a surprise. There was a tiny, pretty little girl sleeping there.
She was wearing a cute, summery one-piece, and the color of her hair looked kind of familiar, but that wasn't what drew my attention. It was her nervous twitching as she slept, very much like that of a rabbit...
Haruki: ...
[DECISION POINT HERE]
1)Poke her with a stick.
2)Grab her tits.
3)Leave her alone.
Choice 1
I upend my fishing pole and start poking her in the arm with it.
Poke, poke. Hey, this is kind of fun. Poke.
Mikuru: Mmmmphhh... stop...
She moans in her sleep. But I won't stop poking! Poke poke poke.
Mikuru: Hmmmm?
Oh, she woke up.
Mikuru: Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
And jumped about five feet into the air... bringing the tent down on both our heads.
---
Choice 2
“Yes, that's a good idea. If a girl makes herself this vulnerable in front of me, she's definitely asking for it,” I told myself in order to justify my impulses.
Whatever. I crawled over to her and put my hands on her chest-- wait, hold on, what's this!?
I couldn't tell from just looking at her, but... under this loose-fitting dress... they're huge!
Huge! I can't stop feeling them! They're huge! Why are such massive breasts on such a tiny girl!? Ah, I understand now. There's only one explanation. I must have died of malnutrition while doing nothing but fishing, and this must be Paradise.
I... I could feel these forever.
Mikuru: Hmmmm...?
Crap. She's waking up.
Mikuru: Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
And predictably, she threw me off and jumped about five feet into the air... bringing the tent
crashing down on both our heads.
---
Choice 3
Yeah, I'll just stare at her. That's the right thing to do in this situation.
Staaaaaaaaaaaaaare. I stared at her for sixteen minutes.
Mikuru: Hmmmm?
Oh, she finally woke up. That took a while. I should have poked her.
Mikuru: Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
She jumped about five feet into the air... bringing the tent down on both our heads.
---
Her screaming and panicked voice rose above the commotion caused by the distinct noise of a flailing girl inside a collapsed tarp.
Mikuru: Wh-wh-what h-h-how I d-d-d-d-don't it that kyaaaaaaaaaa!
She's become incomprehensible. I should do something!
Mikuru: G-g-g-go away!! G-g-g-g-g-g-get ouuuuut!!!
Oh, now she's started hitting me with her fists in a panic. Haha, that tickles. Well, yes, anyway I should definitely do something. But what?
After three milliseconds of deliberation, I delivered a chop directly to her forehead.
Mikuru: Eh?
She immediately stopped the crying and flailing. Excellent. Now I can escape.
Haruki: My lady, you must be in danger. Please, tell me your woes!
Instead, I grabbed her shoulders and started talking like a character out of a bad drama.
Mikuru: Eh? Eh, um, I was trying to get away from Suzumiya-san... she, she had this new costume that she wanted me to try on, and there was just no way I could wear that in public, so... y-you're the man who owns this tent, right? I-I'm sorry, I just needed to hide somewhere, and... I guess I was so t-tired that I fell asleep.
“Suzumiya-san”...? Ah, of course. I understand who this girl must be now. This explains the panicking. And the general lack of balls.
The only question is why she hasn't recognized me, but I suppose that might be on account of my Fisherman's Outfit (TM) and not having showered for a week.
Heh heh, this could be... fun.
Haruki: Don't worry, my lady.
I saluted her.
Haruki: I will protect you. Just leave it to me. First, I shall see if the coast is clear.
I poked my head outside of the collapsed tent. There were a couple of passerby staring, but like usual, they pretended I didn't exist.
Haruki: The coast is clear.
Asahina-san breathed a sigh of relief. Or was that exhaustion.
Mikuru: Thank goodness... I don't want to know what would have happened if Suzumiya-san had caught me... Well, I already know what would happen, but...
She shuddered. I see my other self is just as awesome as I am.
Haruki: Don't concern yourself over it, my lady.
I rubbed her head.
Mikuru: Eh?
Haruki: If you ever need anywhere to hide when you are in trouble, look no further than my tent! When you are here, you shall be safe from any danger! I swear it on my life!
Mikuru: Um...
Haruki: Oh no! They've surrounded us! Quickly, you must make your escape!
Mikuru: Eh, what? But--
Haruki: Run, run for your life, ruuuuuuuun!
I screamed and slapped her on the back. She shot out from under the tent with another 'kyaaaa', rather like a rabbit running from a fox.
Haruki: Always remember, my lady! If you are ever in need, I shall protect you!
People had actually stopped to stare at me. I fingered them and went back inside my tarp.
...
...
...Heh heh heh. Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh. How interesting. I do believe I've found something to pass the time while I wait to catch some fish.
I pulled a notebook from somewhere and started drawing a quick sketch... one that began with a pair of big, floppy ears...