Nanoha FanFiction Discussion

[Satashi]

Originally Posted by Keroko

*notes* more votes for Hayate, check.

Dang, Satashi was right, this really is a good way to lure out the lurkers.



If there is one thing I learned, is that the best way to get better at something you want to learn is to make it hard for yourself. I'm not at all experienced at writing romance (one of the reasons I started this was to practice) and by including lots of potentional characters, I force myself to keep everything in mind. I mean, if people vote in the right way for specific characters, then even characters such as Shari, Arf, the Lieze twins or even Graham can be unlocked.

You're crazy @_@ Hehe, I love it.

And yesh, lurkers tend to come out more lately, that's why I try to be more interactive here. You're doing a nice job of that

Edit: page claaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiim

[Ottocycle]

A, to balance out.

Have fun, Keroko.

[Estavali]

While A does seem most alluring, nonethless B seems to be just right for lots of pranks, unlocking of the Wolkenritter (hopefully) and some powerful drama in the future.

And Hayate should get all the love she can get of course .

[Satashi]

N/F making out.... should it be

passive:

Nanoha leaned forward and closed her eyes.
*end scene*

Detailed:

Nanoha felt fate's lips press against hers lightly before backing away just long enough to take a breath and go again.

highly detailed

Nanoha blushed, feeling Fate's hand rub the back of her neck. Slowly her lips were licked, gently requesting permission to deepen the kiss.

~**~

highly detailed will be more... serious making out. Deep kisses with details on how each one reacts to it and what exactly they're doing


I don't know havbe a plan for a place for this information yet, I just want to know if I did end up doing it, what you would prefer.
http://snappoll.com/poll/249807.php

[XenahortCharybdis]

Oh, cool, Steamy Scene Writing 101....

*Scribbles down notes*

It should be of note, also, that to add to the titillating effect that 'highly detailed' mode can give, multiple devices should be used, while keeping a constant direction in terms of imagery, as it tends to focus people more on the aspects that the author desires them to...yes, whatever aspects...

*evil grin spreads over my face*

[Ryand-Smith]

Oh man... I have so much to read... Lords of Kobol

Satshi... Fate X Nanoha... After all this, and a school dance? Fuck yes this is the best prize ever! Nanoha smoking as a young model!? Fuck yes this is the best reference to realism ever!
Fate embarrassed.. Cuteness makes me happy inside! The Tattoo confrontation, man I have seen that happen before, and my word, you manage to combine the fictional characters with a spirit of realness. This fanfic made me quite happy. Please keep it up!

[krisslanza]

Originally Posted by Satashi

ftw is for the win

Chrono's hair is black with blue tint isn't it?

Sorry to quote a few pages back. :P
But in my experience characters with "blue" hair in an anime, manga, or game tend to be described as having black hair. As a example... Chikane in Kannazuki no Miko. Her hair clearly looks blue but it is described in the manga and the anime as being very dark and black hair. Tana in Fire Emblem: Sacred Stones has what looks like blue hair but is again described as being 'raven colored hair'.

But boy oh boy the dating sim madness returns! I think I once debated doing one of my own... I doubt I would though. If I did... I'd probably use a non-canon character as the 'player' and throw in canons and maybe some OCs here and there for the options. But this seems highly unlikely since you all know I'm about the laziest person here

[Evangelion Xgouki]

Originally Posted by Keroko

The title, cornily, is Raising Heart. Yet, it fits somehow, no?

Spoiler for Raising Heart:

Raising Heart

I am nervous. Very nervous. Recently my parents had decided to move away for work, but I, stubborn girl that I am, demanded to stay until I finished high school at least. Of course, there is always a snake lurking in the grass. The school that I went to did not have a boarding system, which meant that a transfer was soon in sight, which meant that I was now standing in front of a new class, filled with faces I had never seen before.

That tends to make people nervous.

“My name is Takamachi Nanoha, starting today I will be attending classes in this school. Please take good care of me.”

As I bowed, a small round of customary applause filled the classroom. Whispers I could not clearly make out made me shift uncomfortably.

“Very good Takamachi-san, now since you are new here I'll let you decide where you would like to be seated.” Lowran-sensei told me.

My new teacher, Lowran Leti, though I suppose that would be Leti Lowran in her own country. A foreign teacher, she teaches English and is also our class supervisor.

Back to the task at hand, I scanned the classroom for empty seats, as I looked my eyes noticed a familiar red eyes blonde: Fate Testarossa, my childhood friend and only familiar face in the classroom. As our eyes met, she made a small apologetic gesture, I sighed as I noticed no empty seats close to her. She sat to the left of the class, from my point of view, close to the wall and up front. It would have been great to sit next to someone I knew, not to mention I still had to pry that news about her new boyfriend out of her.

Continuing to look for empty seats, I noticed three. One was also up front, but more in the center-right row, next to a blonde haired boy with glasses. His eyes seemed to flicker between the book on his desk and me, as if he wanted to continue reading. As our eyes met he offered a small smile and a nod.

The second empty seat was almost in the middle of the classroom, just a bit more to the left. In the middle itself sat a brown haired girl, as our eyes met she gave a cheery smile and a wave. I did notice a pair of crutches next to her… I wonder if she hurt her leg? She looks fine…

The last empty seat was way in the back to the right, almost next to the window. Next to the window itself sat a dark haired boy. He almost seemed… military from here. As our eyes met, a small respectful nod was send my way.

Now… where to sit?

A: The boy with the glasses

B: The brown haired girl

C: The dark haired boy.

Ooo..it's here!
I think I'm gonna have to go with A for this one

Originally Posted by Keroko

Dang, Satashi was right, this really is a good way to lure out the lurkers.

I don't know what you're talking about....

*lurks more*

[Gillian]

Originally Posted by Keroko

Oh, you hadn't noticed? I uploaded them and posted the link in the manga thread a few days ago.

yeah got it


hope there is more action later on and maybe a romance


big thx Keroko

[Satashi]

Originally Posted by XenahortCharybdis

Oh, cool, Steamy Scene Writing 101....

*Scribbles down notes*

It should be of note, also, that to add to the titillating effect that 'highly detailed' mode can give, multiple devices should be used, while keeping a constant direction in terms of imagery, as it tends to focus people more on the aspects that the author desires them to...yes, whatever aspects...

*evil grin spreads over my face*

can you repeat that in lamen's term please? hard day at work today, not really sure what you mean.

Originally Posted by Ryand-Smith

Oh man... I have so much to read... Lords of Kobol

Satshi... Fate X Nanoha... After all this, and a school dance? yes this is the best prize ever! Nanoha smoking as a young model!? yes this is the best reference to realism ever!
Fate embarrassed.. Cuteness makes me happy inside! The Tattoo confrontation, man I have seen that happen before, and my word, you manage to combine the fictional characters with a spirit of realness. This fanfic made me quite happy. Please keep it up!

I'm happy to see someone see it as realism ^_^ makes me feel a lot better to know a few out there really took it the way I meant it. I love keeping them in character, but realism makes it less dull and "standard".

Nanoha isn't perfect, and I try to always make that clear ( her being messy, a little clumsy, ect.) and I think her trying to discover who she is, is a big part of my story. Afterall, I want SbtB to not only be fun in terms of N/F but still reflect real teenagers. How others see them, how they overcome things and try to figure out who they are. To those who are teens/where teens, can you look back and remember the awkwardness of those years? What are you going to do with your life? you won't be in school forever. And what is your personality? Don't tell me you've never wanted to experiment with something. That cool kid everyone likes, that one guy no one likes. You've surely looked at them and taken some note on what to do/not to do/thought about talking to them.

SbtB isn't JUST about N/F, but about the lives of the teenagers. Hayate's problems with her legs, Fate's problems with her late family members, Nanoha's problems with finding out who she is, Yuuno's situation where he's sure of himself and his future. Arisa and Suzuka coming out with their relationship and why they can.

I want everyone to see that as well, not just Nanoha and Fate. I'm going to try a lot harder for now on to not only stay in character as much as possible, but really make people see that they are not perfect teenagers, but have problems. It takes them being together as friends to overcome them.

.........Sorry, I ranted.

Originally Posted by krisslanza

Sorry to quote a few pages back. :P
But in my experience characters with "blue" hair in an anime, manga, or game tend to be described as having black hair. As a example... Chikane in Kannazuki no Miko. Her hair clearly looks blue but it is described in the manga and the anime as being very dark and black hair. Tana in Fire Emblem: Sacred Stones has what looks like blue hair but is again described as being 'raven colored hair'.

But boy oh boy the dating sim madness returns! I think I once debated doing one of my own... I doubt I would though. If I did... I'd probably use a non-canon character as the 'player' and throw in canons and maybe some OCs here and there for the options. But this seems highly unlikely since you all know I'm about the laziest person here

I agree. Eriol from card captor Sakura also has black hair, tho it's tinted. But on a note, someone said that it's easier to say blue than "black with blue tint" but think of it like this. Would you rather have just a dull color or would you rather give more detail about the character and make them seem more real? Liiiike "My visdion turned to a boy sitting in the back of the classroom. As he looked at me dark black hair fell that flashed tints of navy fell across his eyes. A small nod was sent my way in greeting before I turned to scan the room some more" pointing out that his hair is tinted gives the character a lot more personality, I think. Apologies to Keroko for using her situation of Chrono

[Satashi]

Wow, watching superbowl commercials took all my lunch time.... I only ahve 5 mintues so here's all I could come up with. The girl's sharing lunch together outside at a local Sonic XD

Spoiler for Cherries!:

"You can't do that." Hayate laughed, throwing a piece of popcorn chicken at Nanoha.

"Can so," She protested happily, swatting Arise when she tried to steal a bite of her banana split. "watch." Picking up the cherry, she bit it off the stem and met Fate's eyes. With a playful spit she made it sail across the table and into her friend's mouth. "Okay here goes," Putting the cherry stem into her mouth, she swished it around for several second while her best friends watched.

Arisa leaned over to suzuka. "five dollars says she can't do it."

Nanoha grinned and pulled the stem from her mouth, revealing that she tied it into a knot with her tongue. "Ha!"

The table clapped at the feat. "Watch this," Fate reached over and took the stem from Nanoha and placed it in her own mouth, kept it there for almost a minute, before taking it out and showing that she added another knot on it. Seveal more rounds of clapping came at the two friends.

"How did you find out you could do that?" Suzuka wondered.

"We just went down on cherries until we both got skilled with our tongues." Nanoha replied easily, blushing hard when Hayate spat out her drink and laughed hard. "The food cherry you pervert!" She yelled.

Arisa was covering her mouth, trying to swallow her food without choking while Fate just looked away, sipping her milkshake. "you guys are a bunch of perverts."

"But it's so much fun!" Hayate took a drink to calm herself, almost snorting in it when Nanoha went to eat the other cherry.

"Oh grow up!" Nanoha threw the cherry at her friend, making it bounce off her forehead.

Fate met Nanoha's eyes and sent a playful wink, which in turn made the blue eyes dart down to her ice cream and take a bite shyly.

[SpaceBrotha]

Originally Posted by Satashi

Wow, watching superbowl commercials took all my lunch time.... I only ahve 5 mintues so here's all I could come up with. The girl's sharing lunch together outside at a local Sonic XD

Spoiler for Cherries!:

"You can't do that." Hayate laughed, throwing a piece of popcorn chicken at Nanoha.

"Can so," She protested happily, swatting Arise when she tried to steal a bite of her banana split. "watch." Picking up the cherry, she bit it off the stem and met Fate's eyes. With a playful spit she made it sail across the table and into her friend's mouth. "Okay here goes," Putting the cherry stem into her mouth, she swished it around for several second while her best friends watched.

Arisa leaned over to suzuka. "five dollars says she can't do it."

Nanoha grinned and pulled the stem from her mouth, revealing that she tied it into a knot with her tongue. "Ha!"

The table clapped at the feat. "Watch this," Fate reached over and took the stem from Nanoha and placed it in her own mouth, kept it there for almost a minute, before taking it out and showing that she added another knot on it. Seveal more rounds of clapping came at the two friends.

"How did you find out you could do that?" Suzuka wondered.

"We just went down on cherries until we both got skilled with our tongues." Nanoha replied easily, blushing hard when Hayate spat out her drink and laughed hard. "The food cherry you pervert!" She yelled.

Arisa was covering her mouth, trying to swallow her food without choking while Fate just looked away, sipping her milkshake. "you guys are a bunch of perverts."

"But it's so much fun!" Hayate took a drink to calm herself, almost snorting in it when Nanoha went to eat the other cherry.

"Oh grow up!" Nanoha threw the cherry at her friend, making it bounce off her forehead.

Fate met Nanoha's eyes and sent a playful wink, which in turn made the blue eyes dart down to her ice cream and take a bite shyly.

I have to agree with hayate there: Being a pervert is endless fun

[ghazghkull]

@ Satashi:

I am speaking only for myself when I say this: I read fanfics to get away from reality. My life isn't perfect. I acknowledge that, but there are times I want to get away from it, and immerse myself in a world where I know what I want can never happen.

I read fanfics because it's my 'secret world' where I don't have to worry about the world around me. Once I'm engrossed in something, I all but forget about everything around me, which includes any problems that I may or may not have.

And on the topic of smoking, that is an extremely sensitive topic for me. I've lost family to it. I've seen people who've had their lives destroyed by smoking. I honestly find it a disgusting habit because of all the crap it causes to people's bodies. It's also something I personally would never do to characters who would never seem like the type to smoke, unless it fits whatever I'm trying to portray.

For instance, if I were to take Fate and take her depressing situation with her mother in a different light, I could possibly see her smoking, because it would somehow reflect the angst in her life, among other things.

Personally, I see smoking as nothing more than an aspect of one's personality, so to speak. I equate smoking to the personality of one who's has depressing problems in their life, or has had problems in their life.

I'm not sure if I'm making sense, but that's my personal view on smoking, and why I went out on a limb like that. The fact that Nanoha even took a smoke riled me up because to see someone like her smoke just puts a real nasty flavour in my mouth.

How this relates to why I read fanfics? It's because to me, fanfics are the perfect world I know I can never have. Although granted that if I were in their shoes I'd probably want to live the world I have right now, I am personally in a position where I want to live in their world.

I have no aspirations in terms of who I want to be in this life, because there isn't much here that I want to be. It's what I read or create from my imagination that I want, or to be more specific, the impossible. When I say impossible, I mean like ending up in a fantasy world, such as Nanoha.

At the very least, that's my personal opinion.

[Keroko]

Originally Posted by Satashi

You're crazy @_@ Hehe, I love it.

Why, thank you. Now the trick is to get people to hunt for those characters.

Originally Posted by Estavali

While A does seem most alluring, nonethless B seems to be just right for lots of pranks, unlocking of the Wolkenritter (hopefully) and some powerful drama in the future.

How often do I need to say this? Every character who is not in a relationship is available, you just have to find them. Heck, you could go for Lindy/Nanoha if you play your cards right.

On that note, voting is closed. Final count:

A IIIIIII
B IIIIIIIII
C I

Hayate wins, but barely. Yuuno hang on tight until the final moment. Poor Chrono is all the way to the back, though.

Of to write now.

[Sam the Onion]

Originally Posted by SpaceBrotha

I have to agree with hayate there: Being a pervert is endless fun

What's even more fun is having the ability to turn everybody aroung you to pervert and derail every possible conversation into something dirty

Originally Posted by Keroko

How often do I need to say this? Every character who is not in a relationship is available, you just have to find them. Heck, you could go for Lindy/Nanoha if you play your cards right.

You mean Fate isn't possible?
Or am I just slow

Now that's one might legion repellant.

[krisslanza]

Keroko is really giving everyone a huge roster of possible characters to pick from...

[Keroko]

Originally Posted by Sam the Onion

You mean Fate isn't possible?
Or am I just slow

Now that's one might legion repellant.

I thought I made that clear from the beginning?

But really, with the huge amount of other characters, choosing someone else as Nanoha's love is not that bad. I mean, look at the votes, even Haru voted.

Originally Posted by krisslanza

Keroko is really giving everyone a huge roster of possible characters to pick from...

Dare I claim the largest Dating Sim roster ever?

At least, I can't remember a Dating Sim (or visual novel) with such a large roster. Where's Skyfall? He knows more about these things.

[Estavali]

Originally Posted by Keroko

Why, thank you. Now the trick is to get people to hunt for those characters.



How often do I need to say this? Every character who is not in a relationship is available, you just have to find them. Heck, you could go for Lindy/Nanoha if you play your cards right.

On that note, voting is closed. Final count:

A IIIIIII
B IIIIIIIII
C I

Hayate wins, but barely. Yuuno hang on tight until the final moment. Poor Chrono is all the way to the back, though.

Of to write now.

Yup, I heard ya. Just that one gets the impression that the first person that the new student sits next to would have a better chance of enhancing their friendship than others.

But then again that's really old.... Maybe someone should make the main character's next-door neighbour the hated nemesis or something like that instead, hmmm.

Btw...

I actually wanted to add this in in my previous post, but have you, or anyone else for that, ever consider making Nanoha (and/or Fate) bi? Why, that would in a way make everyone happy, legion or 300, and pave the way to a nice 3some scenario...

*gets hit by the Morality Hammer*

[Sam the Onion]

Originally Posted by Keroko

I thought I made that clear from the beginning?

But really, with the huge amount of other characters, choosing someone else as Nanoha's love is not that bad. I mean, look at the votes, even Haru voted.



Dare I claim the largest Dating Sim roster ever?

At least, I can't remember a Dating Sim (or visual novel) with such a large roster. Where's Skyfall? He knows more about these things.

Pick a fetish you say?

Can we get a rerun if we want to try someone else?


Edit: Estavali gave me another idea. Is polygamy an option as well?

[krisslanza]

Well maybe Haru voted thinking we could find a way to weasel Fate out of that relationship somehow...
But I think you can safely claim that. I mean you are basically allowing pretty much every character in the Nanoha-verse after all.