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Old 2008-02-13, 11:18   Link #1741
Dxon
Inactive Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rookie103 View Post
Spoiler for Cyanide and Happiness:


Spoiler for Stupid Cat:


Spoiler for Blah Blah:


Spoiler for Jesus:


Spoiler for Jesus:


Spoiler for Jesus:


Spoiler for Screen or it didn't happen:


Spoiler for Nice candy friend:


Spoiler for Blasphemy:


Spoiler for Yahoo:
UN involved in africa. Funny.

Love his gun. ^_^ It's an umm.. What was it again??
LK-72??

Something like that. ^_^
Shoots just fine in BF2.

I like guns.

I looked it up. It's an L85A1.

How could I ever forget that?!
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Old 2008-02-13, 14:36   Link #1742
teachopvutru
Urusai~Urusai~Urusai~
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Location
Age: 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dxon View Post
UN involved in africa. Funny.
I kinda read it as "uninvolved in africa"
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Old 2008-02-13, 14:52   Link #1743
Grimkill7
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Age: 34


Last edited by Grimkill7; 2008-02-13 at 16:27.
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Old 2008-02-13, 15:47   Link #1744
Dxon
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Join Date: Dec 2007
OMG I literally rofled at the one with the cat and sign of You're adopted!
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Old 2008-02-13, 15:49   Link #1745
Quzor
It's the year 3030...
 
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Spaceport Colony Sicilia
Age: 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rookie103 View Post
Spoiler for Fucking Win:
I can't believe it! Someone who actually had the balls to do all of those things you see on the "50 fun things to do in *insert place*" list. If this is true, this man is my hero!
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Old 2008-02-13, 15:53   Link #1746
Dxon
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Where can I find those?
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Old 2008-02-13, 16:25   Link #1747
DetectiveA
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: United States
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Radio Show (I just found this & I had to post this joke, its long but its worth it)

Just keep in mind this was on live radio....
On the morning show at WBAM FM in Chicago, IL, they call someone at work and ask if they're married or in a serious relationship. If yes, then this person is asked three very personal questions and the significant other's name and work phone number. If the significant other answers correctly, then they are winners.

This particular day it got interesting:

DJ: HEY! This is Edgar on WBAM. Do you know "Mate Match"?
Contestant: (laughing) Yes I do.
DJ: What is your name? First name only please.
Contestant: Brian.
DJ: Are you married or what Brian?
Brian: Yes.
DJ: "Yes"? Does this mean your are "married" or what, Brian?
Brian: (laughing nervously) Yes I am married.
DJ: Thank you, Brian. Okay, now, what is your wife's name? First only please, Brian.
Brian: Sara.
DJ: Is Sara at work Brian?
Brian: She is gonna kill me.
DJ: Stay with me here Brian! Is she at work?
Brian: (laughing) Yes she is.
DJ: All right then, first question: When was the last time you had sex?
Brian: She is gonna kill me.
DJ: BRIAN! Stay with me here man.
Brian: About 8 this morning.
DJ: Atta boy.
Brian: (laughing sheepishly) Well...
DJ: Number 2: How long did it last?
Brian: About 10 minutes.
DJ: Wow! You really want that trip huh? No one would ever have said that if it there weren't a trip at stake.
Brian: Yeah, it would be really nice.
DJ: Okay, final question: where was it that you had sex at 8 this morning?
Brian: (laughing hard) I ummmmm...
DJ: This sounds good Brian; where was it?
Brian: Not that it was all that great, just that her mom is staying with us for a couple of weeks and she was taking a shower at the time.
DJ: Ooooooh, sneaky boy!
Brian: On the kitchen table.
DJ: "Not that great"? That is more adventurous than the last hundred times I have done it. Anyway, (to audience) I will put Brian on hold, get his wife's work number and call her up. You listen to this.(Advertisements)
DJ: (to audience) Let's call Sara, shall we? (touch tones...*ringing*)
DJ: Hey, is Sara around there somewhere? Clerk: This is she.
DJ: Sara, this is Edgar with WBAM. I have been speaking with Brian for a couple of hours now.
Sara: (laughing) A couple of hours?
DJ: Well, a while anyway. He is also on the line with us. Brian knows not to give away any answers or you lose, soooooooo, do you know the rules of "Mate Match"?
Sara: No.
DJ: Good.
Brian: (laughing)
Sara: (laughing) Brian, what the hell are you up to?
Brian: (laughing) Just answer his questions honestly, Okay? Sara: Oh, Brian.
DJ: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sara I will now ask you three questions and if you answer exactly what Brian has said, then the two of you are off to Orlando, Florida at our expense. This does include tickets to Disney World and Sea World.
Sara: All right.
Brian: (laughing)
DJ: All right, when did you have sex last Sara?
Sara: Oh God, Brian...this morning before Brian went to work.
DJ: What time?
Sara: About 8, I think. (sound effect) DING DING DING.
DJ: Great! That's one. Now! How long did it last?
Sara: Oh God! Brian...ummm, about 12, 14 minutes I think DING DING DING.
DJ: Okay, the judges say that's close enough, I guess she's trying not to harm his manhood.
DJ: Last question: where did you do it?
Sara: OH MY GOD, BRIAN! You did not tell them did you?!?!
Brian: Just tell him honey.
DJ: What is bothering you so much Sara?
Sara: Well, it's just ... just that my mom is vacationing with us and...
DJ: SHE SAW?!?!
Sara: BRIAN?!?! Jesus?!?!
Brian: NO, no she didn't.
DJ: Ease up there sister. Just messin' with your head. Your answer?
Sara: Dear Lord... Brian, I cannot believe you told them this.
Brian: Come on honey it's for a trip to Florida.
DJ: Let's go Sara, we ain't got all day. Where did you do it?
Sara: In the ass. (long pause)
DJ: We will be right back. (advertisements)
DJ: I am sorry for that ladies and gentlemen. This is live radio and these things do happen. anyway, Brian and Sara are off to lovely Orlando, Florida.

Last edited by DetectiveA; 2008-02-13 at 16:40.
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Old 2008-02-13, 16:42   Link #1748
Quzor
It's the year 3030...
 
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Spaceport Colony Sicilia
Age: 39
^ROFLMFAO!!!!

I guess, if she was willing to be that open about it, they had to give them the trip. Though, technically, she did answer the third question incorrectly.
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Old 2008-02-13, 16:49   Link #1749
DetectiveA
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Location: United States
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I bet the radio show was more then happy to give em the trip, that there busted their ratings for sure.
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Old 2008-02-13, 20:15   Link #1750
Grimkill7
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Age: 34
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Old 2008-02-13, 21:37   Link #1751
DetectiveA
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OLIOLIO!!! lol nice post
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Old 2008-02-13, 22:16   Link #1752
aka Providence
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Age: 35
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DetectiveA View Post
Radio Show (I just found this & I had to post this joke, its long but its worth it)

Just keep in mind this was on live radio....
On the morning show at WBAM FM in Chicago, IL, they call someone at work and ask if they're married or in a serious relationship. If yes, then this person is asked three very personal questions and the significant other's name and work phone number. If the significant other answers correctly, then they are winners.

This particular day it got interesting:

DJ: HEY! This is Edgar on WBAM. Do you know "Mate Match"?
Contestant: (laughing) Yes I do.
DJ: What is your name? First name only please.
Contestant: Brian.
DJ: Are you married or what Brian?
Brian: Yes.
DJ: "Yes"? Does this mean your are "married" or what, Brian?
Brian: (laughing nervously) Yes I am married.
DJ: Thank you, Brian. Okay, now, what is your wife's name? First only please, Brian.
Brian: Sara.
DJ: Is Sara at work Brian?
Brian: She is gonna kill me.
DJ: Stay with me here Brian! Is she at work?
Brian: (laughing) Yes she is.
DJ: All right then, first question: When was the last time you had sex?
Brian: She is gonna kill me.
DJ: BRIAN! Stay with me here man.
Brian: About 8 this morning.
DJ: Atta boy.
Brian: (laughing sheepishly) Well...
DJ: Number 2: How long did it last?
Brian: About 10 minutes.
DJ: Wow! You really want that trip huh? No one would ever have said that if it there weren't a trip at stake.
Brian: Yeah, it would be really nice.
DJ: Okay, final question: where was it that you had sex at 8 this morning?
Brian: (laughing hard) I ummmmm...
DJ: This sounds good Brian; where was it?
Brian: Not that it was all that great, just that her mom is staying with us for a couple of weeks and she was taking a shower at the time.
DJ: Ooooooh, sneaky boy!
Brian: On the kitchen table.
DJ: "Not that great"? That is more adventurous than the last hundred times I have done it. Anyway, (to audience) I will put Brian on hold, get his wife's work number and call her up. You listen to this.(Advertisements)
DJ: (to audience) Let's call Sara, shall we? (touch tones...*ringing*)
DJ: Hey, is Sara around there somewhere? Clerk: This is she.
DJ: Sara, this is Edgar with WBAM. I have been speaking with Brian for a couple of hours now.
Sara: (laughing) A couple of hours?
DJ: Well, a while anyway. He is also on the line with us. Brian knows not to give away any answers or you lose, soooooooo, do you know the rules of "Mate Match"?
Sara: No.
DJ: Good.
Brian: (laughing)
Sara: (laughing) Brian, what the hell are you up to?
Brian: (laughing) Just answer his questions honestly, Okay? Sara: Oh, Brian.
DJ: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sara I will now ask you three questions and if you answer exactly what Brian has said, then the two of you are off to Orlando, Florida at our expense. This does include tickets to Disney World and Sea World.
Sara: All right.
Brian: (laughing)
DJ: All right, when did you have sex last Sara?
Sara: Oh God, Brian...this morning before Brian went to work.
DJ: What time?
Sara: About 8, I think. (sound effect) DING DING DING.
DJ: Great! That's one. Now! How long did it last?
Sara: Oh God! Brian...ummm, about 12, 14 minutes I think DING DING DING.
DJ: Okay, the judges say that's close enough, I guess she's trying not to harm his manhood.
DJ: Last question: where did you do it?
Sara: OH MY GOD, BRIAN! You did not tell them did you?!?!
Brian: Just tell him honey.
DJ: What is bothering you so much Sara?
Sara: Well, it's just ... just that my mom is vacationing with us and...
DJ: SHE SAW?!?!
Sara: BRIAN?!?! Jesus?!?!
Brian: NO, no she didn't.
DJ: Ease up there sister. Just messin' with your head. Your answer?
Sara: Dear Lord... Brian, I cannot believe you told them this.
Brian: Come on honey it's for a trip to Florida.
DJ: Let's go Sara, we ain't got all day. Where did you do it?
Sara: In the ass. (long pause)
DJ: We will be right back. (advertisements)
DJ: I am sorry for that ladies and gentlemen. This is live radio and these things do happen. anyway, Brian and Sara are off to lovely Orlando, Florida.
the moral to this story:
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Old 2008-02-13, 22:32   Link #1753
starry_sky45
Cherry Blossom~
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Across the Universe
Age: 31
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Spoiler for dr. trans quiet log time:


Spoiler for dr. tran & the toy cack:
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Old 2008-02-13, 22:36   Link #1754
Archontic
Power of the Damager
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Temples Of Syrinx
Age: 34
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Thomas Edison, who invented the light bulb, was afraid of the dark.

Tchaikovsky, a famous composer during the romantic era, lived in fear of his head falling off his shoulders. Thus, when conducting, he would only use one hand while his other attempted to hold his head down.

/thread
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Old 2008-02-13, 23:31   Link #1755
Quzor
It's the year 3030...
 
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Spaceport Colony Sicilia
Age: 39
A man suffering from alcoholism was sitting at home lamenting his situation. He had recently gone through a divorce, his children had decided to live with their mother, and he had lost his job. Glancing at the garbage, he noticed a case of empty beer bottles resting on top. He walked over to the trash, picked up an empty and smashed it, yelling "You are the reason I lost my wife!" Picking up and smashing a second, he screamed "You are the reason I lost my kids!" After smashing a third bottle, he cried "You are the reason I lost my job!" Suddenly, the man looked down to see a full, unopened bottle of beer in the trash. Picking it up, he placed it in his pocket and said, "Stand aside friend, I know you were not involved."
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Old 2008-02-14, 00:37   Link #1756
Spectacular_Insanity
Ha ha ha ha ha...
*Graphic Designer
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Right behind you.
Age: 35
Here they are, more parody motivational posters, hot off the presses. I hope you like these as much as I liked making them. ^_^

Spoiler for Mai-HiME:


Spoiler for D34th N0t3:
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Old 2008-02-14, 01:08   Link #1757
Archontic
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Temples Of Syrinx
Age: 34
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Did you hear the one about the woman who didn't know that her husband was an alcoholic until her husband came home sober?
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Old 2008-02-14, 04:11   Link #1758
Rookie103
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: England
Spoiler for Time Paradox:

Last edited by Rookie103; 2008-02-14 at 04:26.
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Old 2008-02-14, 10:20   Link #1759
Dxon
Inactive Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by DetectiveA View Post
Radio Show (I just found this & I had to post this joke, its long but its worth it)

Just keep in mind this was on live radio....
On the morning show at WBAM FM in Chicago, IL, they call someone at work and ask if they're married or in a serious relationship. If yes, then this person is asked three very personal questions and the significant other's name and work phone number. If the significant other answers correctly, then they are winners.

This particular day it got interesting:

DJ: HEY! This is Edgar on WBAM. Do you know "Mate Match"?
Contestant: (laughing) Yes I do.
DJ: What is your name? First name only please.
Contestant: Brian.
DJ: Are you married or what Brian?
Brian: Yes.
DJ: "Yes"? Does this mean your are "married" or what, Brian?
Brian: (laughing nervously) Yes I am married.
DJ: Thank you, Brian. Okay, now, what is your wife's name? First only please, Brian.
Brian: Sara.
DJ: Is Sara at work Brian?
Brian: She is gonna kill me.
DJ: Stay with me here Brian! Is she at work?
Brian: (laughing) Yes she is.
DJ: All right then, first question: When was the last time you had sex?
Brian: She is gonna kill me.
DJ: BRIAN! Stay with me here man.
Brian: About 8 this morning.
DJ: Atta boy.
Brian: (laughing sheepishly) Well...
DJ: Number 2: How long did it last?
Brian: About 10 minutes.
DJ: Wow! You really want that trip huh? No one would ever have said that if it there weren't a trip at stake.
Brian: Yeah, it would be really nice.
DJ: Okay, final question: where was it that you had sex at 8 this morning?
Brian: (laughing hard) I ummmmm...
DJ: This sounds good Brian; where was it?
Brian: Not that it was all that great, just that her mom is staying with us for a couple of weeks and she was taking a shower at the time.
DJ: Ooooooh, sneaky boy!
Brian: On the kitchen table.
DJ: "Not that great"? That is more adventurous than the last hundred times I have done it. Anyway, (to audience) I will put Brian on hold, get his wife's work number and call her up. You listen to this.(Advertisements)
DJ: (to audience) Let's call Sara, shall we? (touch tones...*ringing*)
DJ: Hey, is Sara around there somewhere? Clerk: This is she.
DJ: Sara, this is Edgar with WBAM. I have been speaking with Brian for a couple of hours now.
Sara: (laughing) A couple of hours?
DJ: Well, a while anyway. He is also on the line with us. Brian knows not to give away any answers or you lose, soooooooo, do you know the rules of "Mate Match"?
Sara: No.
DJ: Good.
Brian: (laughing)
Sara: (laughing) Brian, what the hell are you up to?
Brian: (laughing) Just answer his questions honestly, Okay? Sara: Oh, Brian.
DJ: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sara I will now ask you three questions and if you answer exactly what Brian has said, then the two of you are off to Orlando, Florida at our expense. This does include tickets to Disney World and Sea World.
Sara: All right.
Brian: (laughing)
DJ: All right, when did you have sex last Sara?
Sara: Oh God, Brian...this morning before Brian went to work.
DJ: What time?
Sara: About 8, I think. (sound effect) DING DING DING.
DJ: Great! That's one. Now! How long did it last?
Sara: Oh God! Brian...ummm, about 12, 14 minutes I think DING DING DING.
DJ: Okay, the judges say that's close enough, I guess she's trying not to harm his manhood.
DJ: Last question: where did you do it?
Sara: OH MY GOD, BRIAN! You did not tell them did you?!?!
Brian: Just tell him honey.
DJ: What is bothering you so much Sara?
Sara: Well, it's just ... just that my mom is vacationing with us and...
DJ: SHE SAW?!?!
Sara: BRIAN?!?! Jesus?!?!
Brian: NO, no she didn't.
DJ: Ease up there sister. Just messin' with your head. Your answer?
Sara: Dear Lord... Brian, I cannot believe you told them this.
Brian: Come on honey it's for a trip to Florida.
DJ: Let's go Sara, we ain't got all day. Where did you do it?
Sara: In the ass. (long pause)
DJ: We will be right back. (advertisements)
DJ: I am sorry for that ladies and gentlemen. This is live radio and these things do happen. anyway, Brian and Sara are off to lovely Orlando, Florida.
She COMPLETELY MISUNDERSTOOD that question!

I rofled. ^_^
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Old 2008-02-14, 10:22   Link #1760
Archontic
Power of the Damager
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Temples Of Syrinx
Age: 34
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dxon View Post
She COMPLETELY MISUNDERSTOOD that question!

I rofled. ^_^
That was, indeed the joke. The village idiot thanks you, though.
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