When the morning light woke me from my restless sleep, I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling above me. I heard soft snoring sounds coming from downstairs and last night's events lingered on my mind even more than before. I had made a huge mistake, and I felt as if I was going to throw up just thinking about it. After taking a deep breath, I rubbed my sore eyes to remove the remains of dried tears. I took a moment to steady myself and forced my body to move before I changed my mind. After claiming my wheelchair, I went downstairs to Fate and gently shook her shoulder.
AlternativeS VII
By: Satashi
"Wake up," Nanoha's soft voice requested to her sleeping friend. "Fate-chan?" Red eyes slowly opened and she gave a weak smile for them. "You need to meet with Yuuno-kun, remember?" Fate blinked a few times and then nodded while pulling herself up to sit properly. "Hey... Fate-chan?" The blond looked down at the girl next to her and Nanoha felt her stomach turn in knots. "For what its worth... I'm sorry for what I did."
"...Yeah." Fate rubbed her eyes and the bridge of her nose. "Its okay, Alicia-"
"No," Nanoha shook her head. "Regardless, I let my feelings win over rational thinking. I used what she said as an excuse to lie to myself to make it seem okay... I shouldn't have. I'm sorry."
The honest tone in her friend's voice made Fate soften. "Apology accepted. Thank you for understanding... I know I don't have to but I'd feel a lot better saying this..." The girl let Nanoha nod before continuing. "I love my wife, and my family. I know you are her in a different world and all but... I'm faithful to her, and I know she will understand what happened. On my wife's behalf, I want to say that she would forgive you as well."
"...Thank you." Nanoha hung her head for a moment before nodding. "I know apologizing won't make it right, but I hope we can still be friends while you're here."
"Yes," Fate reached out and took Nanoha's hand. "Of course."
Feeling the awkward sensation course through her, Nanoha took her hand back and placed it on the red orb to control her chair. "Well, I'll go get dressed. You need to contact your sister and Yuuno-kun, 'kay?"
"Mmn," Fate nodded yet again and watched the girl move away from her. Once clear from sight, Fate let out a soft sigh, rubbing her temples. 'The next few days are going to be really awkward...'
Spoiler for AlternativeS 7-2:
~**~
Fate couldn't help but give a small smile when she saw her sister slowly sitting up in bed. She had allowed her twin to sleep in her normal assigned room, which was now being monitored once again. Even though Fate knew that Hayate was just being cautious, the feeling of being watched by her friends still left an uneasy feeling in the girl's stomach. "Good morning," Fate finally greeted when Alicia seemed awake enough to realize where she was.
The sleepy girl looked at the clock in the room and made a snorting sound. "I didn't even know there was a six in the morning," she complained only half serious.
"For all the trouble you caused yesterday, coming with me now is the least you could do."
Alicia blinked at Fate before rubbing her eyes. "I must still be sleeping, what did I do yesterday?"
"Nanoha, in the bath."
"Oh," Alicia grinned. "Did you have a fun time last night?"
Fate took a deep breath to steady herself. "Nanoha and I aren't really married."
"...What?"
Moving to sit on the side of the bed, Fate leaned forward a bit and looked at the floor. "This is going to sound a little weird, but stay with me." A quick glance let her see her sister nod. "I didn't tell you this before because I was so happy to finally meet you... I didn't want to push you away."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm... not really from this world."
Alicia clicked her tongue. "I'm not either, really, considering I grew up on another planet until I was about nine or so."
"No, I mean..." Fate moved her hands in an attempt to help her find the right words. "I'm from an alternate reality...One from where you had originally died." The girl took the silence as a request to continue her story. "You see, somehow I was brought to this world and found that I had originally died back in the past. At the same time, you somehow survived."
"...Okay, that is a little weird." Alicia moved so she was sitting next to Fate. "So you're saying you're from another dimension?"
"Time line, dimension, world, whatever you want to call it."
"...How did you get here?"
"I don't know." Fate turned to look at Alicia and brought up a hand to touch her cheek.
A gloved hand reached forward to touch the glass tube in front of it. The greenish liquid surrounded a sleeping girl inside of it, hair floating around her due to the random bubbles moving around. The hand moved to wipe away dust from the glass, but jerked back when her touch made the capsule activate. The girl's eyes opened, showing crimson even through the liquid.
"Sis!?" Alicia shook Fate's shoulders, snapping the girl back to reality. "What happened? you suddenly blanked out on me."
"I...sorry." Fate put a hand to her face. "I... had a flashback... I think."
"Flashback?" Alicia blinked a few more times before sighing. "Great, my sister is a nut case." Standing, she stretched out to make herself wake up more. "Tell me more over some coffee, I'm still too tired to understand all this." Looking back at Fate, she smirked. "You're one interesting girl, sis."
~**~
"...And that brings you to right now," Fate finished her story.
"...Wow," Alicia leaned back in her chair and looked at her sister sitting across the table. "And I thought I had it rough growing up on the streets..." She watched Fate take a small sip of her coffee. "So they are trying to get you back home?"
"Yes," Fate nodded slightly. "I normally spend my mornings with Yuuno, or the afternoons if he doesn't need me there. He said he has an idea on what happened, but without my memories leading up to the event, he's almost working blind on it."
"And that was a flashback you had earlier? Did you remember anything important?"
Fate sighed softly. "I remember a little bit, but its so foggy... I'll tell Yuuno when I go see him, maybe he will understand a little more."
Alicia hummed to herself and went to take another drink before stopping. "Wait a minute, I just remembered, you said that Nanoha wasn't your wife... So that means last night...?"
The older sister blushed and looked away slightly. "That was a real big problem."
"I see..." Alicia grinned despite herself. "I'm sorry."
"You don't sound sorry," Fate accused, a little upset.
"Well you lied to me first, so we're even." Alicia countered with a chuckle. "I was just trying to help out my sister, so this was technically your fault."
Fate tried to say something to denounce the fact, but shortly had to admit to herself that she had, indeed, caused most of what happened. "...Yeah. I just wish I realized it earlier. Poor Nanoha..."
"Whoa, this girl tried to make you cheat on your wife and you say poor Nanoha? She deserves what she got, even if I did egg her on to do it."
"No," Fate shook her head. "I know Nanoha, even if she isn't the one I grew up with... I can tell, she's so desperate and sad...She had a moment of weakness, and caved into her desires. Even if we did do something last night, I feel deep down that she would feel just as bad as she does this morning about it."
"From what you told me, and what I saw, I think she would want you to stay with her."
"...I know she would, but it doesn't mean she wouldn't feel bad. All at once, her world turned upside down. She has a child to look after now, and she latched on to someone so fast it made her blind to so many things... And now she suddenly crashed into a wall... I can't imagine how she feels right now."
"Its not very pleasant," Nanoha's voice made Fate jump in her seat, almost dropping her mug. The blonde turned to look to the side and saw Nanoha there with Vivio next to her. "Fate-chan, Yuuno-kun wanted me to tell you he needs to see you in the research room."
"O-okay..." Fate stood and knew she was blushing at having been caught in the act. Alicia stood as well and asked if she could come along as well. After agreeing, The girl looked down at Nanoha again and tried to think of something to say.
"Its okay," Nanoha replied in a soft, sad voice. "I need to go, I promised Vivio some breakfast." Turning to look at the small girl, Nanoha tried her best to put on a smile for her. "Ready, Vivio?"
Hm, actually I guess I do have stuff to share. I was requested to write some lemons, so I did. It's potential squicky stuff, though, with one being a gangbang and two more being futanari. If you're still interested, PM me for more information.
If you want to request something as well, feel free.
This is also part of the reason why I haven't been all that productive lately. Stupid Radiant Dawn being so stupidly awesome. >_<
Ah Fire emblem the game that never ceases to lose value. Radiant Dawn gave me some problems on Hard more x.x I guess its partially my fault since I dont use everyone. I only use like 6 when you can use 20 XD
@Thread: I guess everyone's been pretty busy lately. I have an omiai as most of you know, to prepare for so that's been keeping me occupied. We need someone or something to spark some kind of event to make us all write again XD
__________________
Life is a waste of time, Time is a waste of life, Get wasted all the time, And have the time of your life ^.^
@Thread: I guess everyone's been pretty busy lately. I have an omiai as most of you know, to prepare for so that's been keeping me occupied. We need someone or something to spark some kind of event to make us all write again XD
Omiai? By that you mean one of those marriage meetings, right?
Well, I'm still eagerly awaiting for more Searching Hearts from you Has there been any progress on that end?
Well, I suppose someone could always issue a writing challenge that extends to the whole FFT.... if you really wanted to see the place get lively again.
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow, in a house dropped on an ugly, old woman.
Well, I threw up a couple of crack fics, and another chapter to my continuation, so if that didn't get people to write, then it means I suck at inspiration. I could mention that I rewatched all 26 episodes of Seto No Hanayome recently, which I supposed helped put me in a better mindset for crack. Highly suggest watching it. Romantic comedy of a guy who gets engaged to the daughter of a mermaid yakuza family. It's as good as it sounds!
Now, for other news, posting the rough draft of Heritage part 2.
Fate: “Clyde and Precia were on Mid-childa at around the time-frame for Alicia's conception. Yet there were no actual records putting them together, and he seemed to be a bit too young at the time, so the puzzles pieces didn't fit. While I had a few ideas, I felt I couldn't rest until I discovered the truth. Several of my leads gave me some promising tidbits, but it was this latest lead that made me feel like I might actually be getting somewhere. However, it was only afterward that made me realize how wrong and off-track I had actually gotten....”
I gathered my magical electrical energy in my right hand, forming a dozen Photon Lancer shots around me. I wouldn't be taken down here. If these hooligans thought they could stop an S+ rank Bureau Agent, they had another thing coming.
“You are under arrest,” a female voice announced, that seemed somehow familiar. “Throw down your weapon and surrender, and you'll be given the chance to defend yourself at trial.”
I blinked in surprise, canceling my spell. “Are you Bureau enforcers? I'm Agent Fate T. Harlaown. Identify yourselves.”
“Fate?” the female voice said, incredulous.
And then the lights went on, revealing the shadowy shapes as enforcers, pointing their staff weapons at me. The female that the voice belonged to, leapt down from one of the walkways above and strode towards me.
“It is you!” Teana Lanster noted with surprise. “What are you doing here!? Last we talked, you were taking several days off to pursue a personal matter.” She turned to the enforcers. “Stand down, it appears we had a mix-up.”
“Teana!” I exclaimed. Of all the warehouses in all the neighborhoods, I had to walk into hers. I sighed. “I was hoping to talk to the man I pursued in here. Is he still around?”
“Yes and no,” my partner replied. “If you were looking for Bennie Lewure, he died several days ago from a heart attack. We kept the death quiet, and hoped to use his identity to catch a bigger fish.”
My hopes died again. “I see. Well, I apologize for ruining your trap.”
Teana waved it off. “It wasn't a big deal, and was kind of a long shot in any respect. We have other leads. Is there anything you need help with?”
I hesitated, then remembered I had promised myself to be more open with my junior partner. I launched into a brief explanation as we left the warehouse, shifting back into my civilian clothes.
“I see,” Tea said. “I suppose I can't help much after all, but thanks for telling me. If I hear something that might help, I'll let you know.”
I thanked her, then headed off on my own, back to my car that I had left several blocks away. My thoughts drifted along the way, as I crossed Bennie's name off the list. Of the three names that were left, Howard Grahms, Raquel Zettin, and Leana Fryk, two were deceased. I received back information on the death certificates; they were genuine and signed by doctors with good reputations. Howard had died in a skiing accident, and Leana had been fatally stabbed multiple times by a mugger and bled to death before help arrived.
So that left Raquel. More and more, I felt that she was the key somehow, but how could I find the woman? She could be anywhere on the planet, or even off-planet, or even dead by now. I was also getting a real bad feeling that I was overlooking something, but what? As I stared at her smiling, glasses-wearing picture, something niggled at the back of my mind. On a hunch, I forwarded her picture to Shari with a request for an artificial aging. What would she look like today?
Entering my car and sitting down, I received an incoming call, and Nanoha's face appeared onscreen as I answered it. “How are things going, Fate-chan?”
“Not too good, I'm afraid,” I told her, starting the car up. “My last lead went nowhere, and I'm running out of ideas.”
“Would you like to come for dinner tonight and talk about it?” she asked, her voice full of concern.
At first, I started to feel like that, then noticed the time; it would be fairly late by the time I got back. “Go ahead and eat without me, as it would take too long for me to get back right now. I'll grab something to eat around here, and be home later tonight.”
I knew Nanoha wouldn't take offense at all, as her smile showed; she was one of the most supportive and caring people I knew. “Alright. Try not to get too down, though, you'll figure it out. The truth is out there.”
I paused, taking a look at my best friend and partner. “Nanoha, you've been re-watching that series again, haven't you?”
Nanoha put a hand behind her head and chuckled nervously through her smile. “I'm not sure what you mean, Fate-chan. Anyway, take care, and I'll see you later tonight!”
She signed off and I drove away, sighing and smiling to myself. She didn't mind being alone from time to time, so she could watch shows like that one that none of the rest of us liked, so I knew she'd be kept entertained.
Which just left me wondering about my situation.
Feeling my stomach rumble, I eventually pulled over and parked in front of a nearby bar and restaurant. It wasn't someplace I normally went, although I had been here a few times on cases, to meet slightly-less-than legal contacts and informants. It wasn't sleazy; on the contrary, it was fairly nice for the part of town it was in. And the food wasn't bad, either.
I told the waiter inside she was just a party of one, but then both he and I were surprised as someone else called my name.
“Yoohoo, Fate, over here!” Vice called, waving from a booth. “Why don't you join us?”
I shrugged and indicated to the waiter I was fine with that, and was promptly seated across from Vice and Signum. “What are you two doing here?”
“Vice suggested this eating establishment, but I have yet to see the benefits of this place,” Signum replied, looking a bit embarrassed, and much like a fish out of water. It was unusual to see her in such casual clothes, but I had to admit she looked a bit prettier than normal; I'd have to tease her about it later. “I told him I'd be just fine eating at the cafeteria on base.”
“Aw, where's the fun in that?” he shot back. “You gotta get out and explore new things! Food is more than just getting the nutrition in. It's an experience, and one best shared with comrades.”
“So you keep telling me,” she replied bluntly, but the edges of her lips were turned up ever-so-slightly.
I smiled at the interaction between the two, as I picked up the menu. I had heard that the pair had started going out a couple of months ago, but they almost seemed like the proverbial odd couple. I wondered how things were going between them, but hesitated to ask. I'd just have to hit up Hayate later for intel.
“So what brings you out here?” Vice asked. “Didn't think too many people knew about this place.”
“I've been here a few times,” I replied, looking over the entrees. “And I was in the neighborhood, checking up on some things for a personal case.”
“Anything we could assist you with, Testarossa?” Signum asked. I could almost detect a note of pleading in the tone.
“I'm afraid not,” I answered sadly. “I'm just taking a break between leads, hoping for some inspiration.”
“Well, take your time,” Vice told her, leaning back and casually dropping an arm around Signum's shoulders. “We just got here and have yet to order as well.”
A waiter came by and passed out water glasses, as well as putting a complimentary bowl of fruit on the table. He said he'd be back in a few minutes to take their orders. I stared at it. Something tickled at the back of my mind again.
“Now this is what I'm talking about: Variety!” Vice said, reaching into the bowl and pulling one out. “The cafeteria is nice, but you don't get the selection you get elsewhere. Take this peach for example. I haven't seen one on base for months now, and I love 'em.” He took a big bite out of it.
I stared at him. “Vice, you're a genius!”
“Ya, ah get tawd that arot,” he said, his mouth full, then swallowed. “But you really need to tell Alto. She doesn't seem to understand.... Hey, where are you goin'?”
“I'm sorry, I have to look into a few things,” I told them, standing up and grabbing my coat.
“Are you sure you do not wish assistance?” Signum asked again, a slightly bigger hint of desperation in her voice.
I smiled; while I wanted to do this myself anyway, it also gave me an evil sense of glee to see her in this situation. “No, I'll be fine. Enjoy your date!”
“We will, thanks!” I heard Vice call as I dashed for the door.
I closed the folder and looked up. “And you're sure about this?”
The coroner nodded. “I knew Racheal and her husband Jerry for almost 4 years. Nice couple, even though they kept to themselves, mostly. I've got some other work to get to, so just let me know if you need me for something else.”
I thanked the man as he left the room, wondering if I was on the right track to follow the supply chain to this farming community. Their deaths threw a bit of a kink into my theory, but something didn't feel right. The woman had changed her name, but from some of the pictures, she appeared to be the one. There was on possibility, however....
A floating screen opened up near me, with some mail. It was from Shamal, with some test results from the samples I had scanned and sent off earlier. I could feel my lips slowly turn upwards as I read the missive; I was right. And if I was correct about this, I think I even could begin to guess what might happened all those years ago between Clyde and Precia.
There was one person who could tell me for sure, but I needed to make one more stop first.
There wasn't much left of the mountain cabin, except for blackened wood and charcoal. There was a variety of debris, too, but nothing very recognizable. I did find it odd, however, that a fire that so completely destroyed a wood cabin, didn't do much to the forest around it. It lent weight to my hypothesis: this was a deliberate fire set to destroy the cabin only.
Stepping through what I guessed was the living room, there were specific signs I was looking for. If I was right, and all signs pointed to me being right, then I'd find a bit of evidence to back up my theory.
Glass and burnt wood snapped under my metal boot; I was in Impulse Form for protection from the debris. But I still hadn't found it. Grasping Bardiche, I fired off photon lancer shots to clear out the bigger piles of wood and rubbish.
There, almost deliberately covered by the wreckage of a dresser in the remains of the bedroom, was what I was looking for. I opened the basement hatch and looked within. It, too, was trashed and partially collapsed. But mostly buried on the far side, I found what I was looking for: a clone incubation chamber. The owner of this cabin probably didn't expect someone to probe this much, and she'd be right. If it wasn't for Jail himself hinting that he was Alicia's father, I never would have come this far, and no one would discover this for a long time, if at all.
I smiled grimly; it was time for a conversation with an old friend.
The old woman climbed the steps like I presumed she did every night. Her look of surprise when she saw me waiting outside her apartment door, told me she never got any visitors. And if my theory was right, she never would have because she had tried so hard to hide who she was.
“Fate, dear, what brings you by at this time of night?” Mrs. Benna asked, surprised as her right hand dipped into her side dress pocket.
“I just came by to see you, Raquel Zettin,” I answered calmly, arms folded across my chest. I could see her hand tremble a bit from inside her pocket, and I grew more confident.
“I'm sorry, do you have the wrong person?” she told me, trying to feign ignorance.
“Oh sure, your name is Racheal Benna now,” I went on, appearing to ignore her response. “But it was also Racheal Scagli once, too. Interesting take on that family name; who exactly was your husband again?”
She could probably continue playing dumb, and it might just work, I realized. I didn't have any real solid evidence; most of it was circumstantial or could easily be explained by other means. But the way her body seemed to sag, told me that she wasn't in any mood to keep these secrets.
“How did you find out?” she asked after a short while, resigned.
“Iro Gonfried gave me the first real clue,” I told her. “He receives an anonymous care package weekly. I did some checking; he has no family and seemingly no friends, so who sends it? In it is a variety of fruits and nuts. The peaches are especially delicious, he says. Still feel a bit of something for him? That's what made me consider things from a different angle, as Joland had said Raquel often joked about retiring to the country."
She chuckled. "He was annoying at times, and if I wasn't preoccupied with someone else, I might have given him a chance."
I held up a peach. "Although that's obviously not enough to prove a connection, I had analysis done on the peaches I bought from you recently, and the ones Iro gonfried received. They came from the same harvest. I also had a friend of mine artificially age Raquel Zettin's picture from this photograph." In my other hand, I held up the two pictures. "You're a very close match, wouldn't you say?”
"Anyone can buy those peaches, and that photograph could look like anyone," Raquel pointed out.
"It was a hunch," I explained, continuing. "I traced your fruit supply route back to a farming village, and a bit of checking turned up a woman with your description having lived in a cabin near there, many years ago. The cabin was destroyed, obviously that was the intention. The local coroner managed to identify the bodies as belonging to the couple that lived there. If he knew what to look for, however, he would have noticed that both bodies shared a certain genetic drift consistent with Jail's cloning techniques. And if had better equipment, he would have realized that both bodies died from genetic damage long before the fire incinerated them. Luckily, he was a good file-keeper, however."
Raquel looked down at her doorknob. “What do you plan to do now?”
“I just want answers,” I admitted, my tone softening. “Who was Alicia's father? I suspect you know.”
The old woman sighed, then reached up and unlocked the door. “Why don't you come in for some tea? It might not be the best, but the company may make up for it.”
I could barely contain the shaking of my hands. The teacup Raquel had just put in front of me, helped; it's warm liquid soothing my nerves as I grasped it with both hands. The way things looked, I might finally be able to find out the mystery surrounding Alicia. I had a theory in mind, surprised I didn't see it earlier, but it could use verification and some filling in of details.
“Your mother, Precia, liked this flavor,” the old woman noted, somewhat sadly as she sat down on a couch opposite of me. “Do you consider Precia to be your mother?”
I nodded from her own small couch, a small knee-height table between them. “Yes, despite what happened. I also consider Lindy to be my mother, since she adopted me.”
“In a way, I almost might be considered your mother, too, but that's probably too selfish of a statement,” she noted wryly, but with some sadness. “Also, it might be stretching things.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, not expecting that revelation. “How were you involved in all this?”
“Perhaps it's best to start near the beginning,” Raquel said, pausing to take a sip of tea. “I first knew Precia when we were assigned to the same project. Well, it was Precia's project, really, and we were assigned to assist her. She wasn't an easy woman to get along with, and she hardly ever talked about herself; her work was all that mattered. But I slowly cracked the shell, and we became friends, somewhat. Then one night, she confessed that, although she loved her work, she wanted a child, a daughter.”
“Alicia,” I whispered.
Raquel nodded. “She had that named picked out well in advance. But she didn't want just any daughter; she wanted a great mage and researcher to carry on after her. Not adopted, but of her own blood. She also wasn't too interested in dating or finding a compatible male companion, and she wanted her daughter to be of suitable mage pedigree; no ordinary man would do. All this she told me over the course of several months. And so, I introduced her to someone I knew, someone I secretly worked for and reported to: Jail Scaglietti.”
“I considered that, back when Jail said he was Alicia's father,” I noted aloud. “But he couldn't have been that old.”
“I, too, was surprised at how he looked when he appeared as a hologram over the city, all those months ago,” Raquel agreed. “He was a very talented bio-engineer, and did have plenty of research on slowing the aging process. Still, I suspect he may have cloned himself at least once.”
I nodded. “He did have a backup plan, with his cyborgs able to give birth to a clone of him.”
“And he may have thought he was Alicia's father,” the old scientist said with a small smile. “That was his plan. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
She paused to sip some more tea. “The standard donor centers weren't up to her standards, and Precia didn't want to owe any favors to the Bureau, nor have her daughter under their thumb. So Jail was quite willing to keep it all secret. And he had secretly acquired quite a stock of DNA samples from several mages. He gave her a list of donors, given her specifications.”
“And one of them was Clyde Harlaown?” I deduced.
Raquel nodded, then smiled. “Though you should have seen the look on Precia's face, when she realized the one she picked was a child. A 10 year old with a rank of AAA, who had a strong possibility of reaching S, one of the more promising young mages in the Bureau. Precia demanded to know how a child was supposed to give her a daughter. Then Jail revealed his other secret: he could clone the boy and artificially age him; he even showed her what Clyde would like as an older man. The fact that the clone would only live 1-2 years at most afterward, well, Precia considered that a bonus. She wouldn't have to deal with any surprises down the line, in the form of custody battles or visitation rights. Things of that sort.”
“Even back then, mother considered people as tools?” I said, mostly to myself, although I probably shouldn't have been surprised to hear things like that about my mother, even now. “Even Alicia?”
“It wasn't quite that simple,” Raquel countered. “Your mother did end up loving Alicia very much, and also cared for the Clyde-clone we created for her, who was named Clive Harle. He wasn't given many memories; he was simply told he had an accident and had memory loss, and that he was going to marry Precia, his fiancee, before the accident. He was doubtful at first, but eventually went through with it. He was very noble in that regard; I suspect we cloned more of the real Clyde that we suspected.”
I set my teacup down. “Why a marriage? Why not just extract the sperm from the clone?”
“When I think back on it, I found it a bit strange that Precia wanted to go that route, too,” the old woman admitted. “I suspect she wanted some legitimacy for her daughter, or perhaps even then, she did want some sort of male companionship. Clive was handsome, and she was a woman at heart. But we did extract sperm from the clone for artificial insemination experiments, while he was unconscious during his 'treatments'. The clone thought he was undergoing therapy to get his memories back.”
I began to really feel bad for the clone. No, his name was Clive Harle. To not know who he was, only being birthed for a single purpose; in that respect, he was much like myself, and thus I figured I was very much his daughter in that respect.
“And I think the clone truly came to care about Precia, too,” Raquel was saying. “I'm not sure of exactly went on between them, but something developed there. Whether it was love, mutual respect, or some kind of close friendship, I can't say. But the clone eventually figured things out, near the end, when he realized he was dying. Precia had been impregnated by a specially selected fertilized ovum by then. He actually came to me and told me he had made Precia promise him something, and he wanted me to make sure it was kept. That he knew he wasn't the real Clyde, and to keep the secret of his daughter's real father, so the real Clyde wouldn't be inconvenienced by it.”
“So that's why she wouldn't tell me,” I breathed, suddenly understanding. “She really did mean to keep that promise.” Another thought struck me. “Wait, so why would Jail think he was my father?”
Raquel smiled, her eyes twinkling with mischief, but Fate could also see some sadness there. “That was his plan, to substitute his own seed for Clyde's and make Precia think Alicia was Clyde's child. He admired Precia's mind and magical powers. He seemed to like the idea of an offspring sired by the two of them. But I doctored the results, as I was managing most of the process. Precia didn't fully trust Jail, but she did trust me. I wasn't able to replace all the experiments, but I got the one that mattered, and destroyed the rest, as per the agreement.”
I saw something in her eyes, then, and another small mystery cleared up. “You loved him. And he was indirectly going to have a child with another woman.”
Raquel finished off her tea and set the cup down, suddenly looking much older. “I was young, and he was brilliant. Arrogant, too, but in some way, that made him more attractive. At some point I realized he never would really love me; I was just another assistant to him. I watched over Precia and Alicia as the girl grew, but after she died in the accident, I finally left Jail.”
“Your husband was a clone of Jail,” I deduced. “That's why your last name then was Scagli. And that's why there was a cloning chamber in your old cabin.”
“He only lived for about four years, and he wasn't entirely the Jail that I loved,” Raquel admitted. “I had removed a lot of his memories like we did with Clive. I don't think Jail ever knew that I cloned him. But if he did, he probably didn't care.”
“And when he died, you cloned yourself and burned both of the bodies and the cabin in order to disappear again,” I concluded for her. "Your two mistakes were setting up a stall near where I shop, and getting fruit delivered from the old town where you once lived as someone else."
She chuckled darkly. “Am I going to jail for killing two clones?”
I felt conflicted; on one hand, the she had committed crimes. But I also felt for the woman; she couldn't have the man she loved, and was in a weird way, sort of a godmother to Alicia. And so in an extended way, she was almost like another mother to me.
“Don't worry, I won't force you to make that choice,” Raquel told me in a comforting tone. “I moved back here because I heard about you, and wanted to confirm who you were. And perhaps I felt some responsibility, because of Alicia, or maybe just some old motherly instinct. I never meant to lie to you, and indeed, wanted to find the courage to tell you someday. But now everything can be laid to rest at last.”
My eyes widened in horrible realization as the old woman leaned her head back on the couch's headrest, and my eyes quickly glanced down at her empty teacup. “You didn't....” I moved over to her side and sat next to her, checking her pulse. It was weak, and growing weaker.
“I'm sorry, but I've been carrying these secrets inside of me for so long, and when I realized it was time to tell, I realized my purpose in living was over,” the woman told me sadly, as I signaled Bardiche to call for medical assistance. “I have to take them to my grave. It's up to you what you decide to do with them. I can't answer to the Bureau, and I can't go to jail. And don't worry, it was only my own cup that I tainted.”
“You can't...” I commanded her, my eyes becoming a bit blurry for some reason. “I just got to know you, and you were like a godmother to Alicia, so....”
The old woman reached a hand up to cup my cheek, smiling warmly. “You're Fate, not Alicia. And Fate is a good, kind woman. I know your mother would be proud of you, because I am proud of you, from what I have learned about you these past few months. Don't let the past hold you back. Take comfort in who you are today, and in who you want to be.”
Her eyes closed, as I wrapped my arms around her and buried my face in her neck to hide my tears.
“I see,” Lindy said, sitting back.
I kept staring at my cup, after having finished explaining the events of the past week, including the plan to get Raquel buried next to Precia and Alicia, along with another headstone for Clive Harle. How many more headstones would I create for the people I had come to care about? The ceremony would be held next week, to give me time to explain things to certain people. But in my mind, I kept seeing the old woman sitting there, fading away before my eyes.
“Well, in one respect, I'm glad to know that Clyde didn't really have any flings with other women, even if it was going to be before he met me,” Lindy noted offhand. “And the Bureau will appreciate the information to clean up some of their records. But how are *you* feeling?”
“I couldn't care less about the Bureau and their records,” I nearly spat out, harsher than I intended, then sighed. “I don't know how I feel, really. I knew this could lead places that I might not expect when I started, so in one respect, I asked for it. I know more about where I come from now, but if I hadn't started looking, Raquel would still be alive and selling her fruit. She'd be there tomorrow when Nanoha or I go shopping.”
Tears appeared in my eyes again, even though I thought I had already cried myself out last night. I quickly rubbed my eyes with my sleeves.
“She did what she wanted,” Lindy told me. “You can't blame her for that, nor yourself. She wanted you to know. She probably planned to pass away someday, after telling you everything. That's why she tracked you down and started up that stand in that area where you and Nanoha buy food.
Lindy stood up and crossed over, crouching down to place her hands on my shoulders and look me in the eyes. “You know where you come from now, and you know more about your heritage. That's never a bad thing. But she was right: it's what you do now that's important.”
Reacting to a sudden urge, I reached out and hugged the woman who had raised me for most of my life. “Thank you, mother.”
“Anytime, daughter,” Lindy answered softly into my ear.
“Hey, we're home!” came a male voice from the doorway.
I broke the hug and stood up. “Chrono!”
“I hope the kids haven't been too much trouble,” Amy said, coming in right behind her husband, and setting her suitcase down.
“They've been absolutely wonderful!” Lindy told her, smiling.
“We are talking about OUR kids here, right?” Chrono asked, hesitantly. “Oh, Fate, didn't know you were... Fate?”
I had wrapped my arms around his neck, smiling, and said softly, “Welcome home, brother.” The word was much truer than he suspected at the moment, I realized.
I could feel his cheeks start to burn, and I knew he was blushing; he never could take displays of affection very well. “Um, did I miss something?”
I am Fate Testarossa Harlaown. I know where I came from, but I also know where I am, and where I am going. While I discovered a lot about the former, it's the latter that is most important to me now. And now I can go forward without the past holding me back.
Hope everything made sense, and there wasn't any real plot holes (other than the more obvious one that I address in my notes below). This was my first real attempt at a detective story, and first major use of first person.
Spoiler for Author's notes:
Author's notes:
This was partially born out of the conclusion to Crisis. It was actually a random thought that I made Fate's father out to be Clyde as a way to truly connect her to the Harlaown family. But someone wanted to see it followed up on, and the more I thought about it, the more I thought I could make a decent story about it. I ran into a few bumps with my research concerning ages, as an A's sketch someone pulled up would have put Clyde at about 3 years old when Alicia was born. I found that out only after I posted my Crisis epilogue.
Oops.
But I'm not sure how official it was, and this universe mainly goes off the TV series without a lot of the extra materials, so I felt I had a bit of room to play with ages. I also like a challenge, and I didn't want to go back and change my Crisis epilogue, so I hope this story was a bit satisfactory at least.
Now, as promised, I introduce sneak peaks of upcoming fanfics in my Crisis universe. First, I'll list out the planned future chapters for Red Jewel Diaries. Some of these could end being split into 2 parts, depending on size:
Take me out to the Ball Game – Teana and Subaru have an argument that leads to an unusual method of resolution. Also features the Nakajima sisters and the church cyborgs.
Allies – Quattro, Tre, and Sette are contracted by a surprise person to deal with a secret matter. Will they go along with it? And how will they respond to the multiple issues that go against them?
Life – Nanoha goes to visit Amy to talk with her about certain things that Amy has experience in. That leads into her history with Chrono. Also look for the formal introduction of Amy's kids, Karel and Liera, and Vivio's slightly-less-than-enthused reactions to them. ^_~
Recollections of a Lost Age – Not officially going to be placed in this series, but it'll take place between Life and Vivio's story. It's partially written, and I intend to finish it around this time, hopefully. It'll be left separate from RJD, as it can also be read as a standalone (I initially started it as a standalone), but can be considered to take place here.
Vivio and Corona's Excellent Adventure – The pair witness a kidnapping, and go on a cross-town spree to save the victim. Clanagan (and Corona) may never be the same!
Dragon Quest – Erio/Caro have a bit of trouble with regards to feelings and summons, that leads to surprising discovery. Zafira, Lutecia, Agito, and Megane (Lutecia's mother) guest star. Most likely going to be 2 parts.
For Better or for Worse – Keeping it as mostly a surprise for now, but will be WAFFy with hopefully plenty of humor. Final chapter of Red Jewel Diaries.
Finally, if you liked the approach I took with Crisis with a broad story arc covering multiple chapters, I have two more sequels planned along this line. You'll get sneak peaks of those in the next two chapters.^^
And where the hell are you, Alavon? This is what you wanted, and I don't see any commentary from you!
Well, I threw up a couple of crack fics, and another chapter to my continuation, so if that didn't get people to write, then it means I suck at inspiration. I could mention that I rewatched all 26 episodes of Seto No Hanayome recently, which I supposed helped put me in a better mindset for crack. Highly suggest watching it. Romantic comedy of a guy who gets engaged to the daughter of a mermaid yakuza family. It's as good as it sounds!
Now, for other news, posting the rough draft of Heritage part 2.
Hope everything made sense, and there wasn't any real plot holes (other than the more obvious one that I address in my notes below). This was my first real attempt at a detective story, and first major use of first person.
Spoiler for Author's notes:
*snip*
And where the hell are you, Alavon? This is what you wanted, and I don't see any commentary from you!
Now how's that?
You call Alavon, but you get Xena.
Conclusion: You're too loud, my friend. Pipe down a bit. And have a little more patience; people don't always appear the second, minute, hour or day you want them to. A hasty angler goes home empty.
Anyway, here goes...
[Review Breaker...Another Crisis.]
Spoiler for Review - Red Diaries Jewel Chapter 3-4...And Some Other Things:
Another 2am session from me. 2:29am at the beginning, to be exact.
First, let me say that it was a fairly smart move for you to use the first person style for this writing. Why? Because, simply put, without the use of 1st person, which necessarily involves the personal thoughts and views of the person who is the subject, and thus ends up having the advantage of this thing I call Personal Quirks, the writing is fairly...
...normal? I've read Crisis a bit, and it shows quite a great deal. It's ho-hum, nice idea, coolish coolio cooley and stuff, but nothing really gripping, or really tense, or really with any impact.
And I have some idea why. First off, let's talk about your love for One Liners, no, not the witty sort, before you start thinking that you're a regular Samuel Beckett. I mean those short little phrases that hardly tell me anything that's happening beyond who's talking, the subject of the talking, and a fairly vague reaction to the talking.
This leads to a larger problem I used to beat myself up about back in middle school, which I have in recent times taken the liberty to call Narrating Without Narrative: basically, I know what's happening, and I can vaguely imagine the various stage directions, expressions and whatever, like any good human should be able to. But the point about writing is not to leave these basics to the human imagination. You aren't writing a script. You are writing a story.
Even in third person, there should be some reflective introspection in the writing, which I'm afraid is a little lacking in these writings of yours; by the same token, all the more they should be present in second and first person pieces, in which you're essentially artsy-fying the introspective takes on things that are normally described in narrative given Third Person writing.
Mainly, I would suggest you drop the Third Person In First Place effect, which is essentially porting over too much of your third person descriptive style into the first person. Have the person think more, rather than just do so much, and think so little that it feels like third person with 'her' replaced with 'I'.
Also, on another note, sharpen your use of paragraphing and vocabulary in your third person narrative. You just know something is funny when two instances of the word 'hands' are used in the same paragraph.
We'll talk more at length about these things...but let me just say that all your techniques, really, are related. As long as you have a fairly good grasp of English, enough practice, and the daring, you just need to know where the focuses and main concepts of different styles require something else of you, and code-switch accordingly. Conversely, what weaknesses you have in your primary writing style (Third Person in this case - most people start with that) will carry over to any tributary mode that you try out.
Next important should be Knowing Your Genre. Essentially, this means that I had no idea this was supposed to be a detective story until you said so - sounded more like information spoon-feeding. Not that the fact that the information came in easily was bad - I'm fairly sure Fate has connections enough to get those nitty-gritties settled; but the problem, really, again, is with the way things are described. Detective novels and stories have a unique style that involves a number of twists and surprises...which, for your information, actually feel like surprises. They also have revelations...which, again, actually feel like revelations. And like all other stories, they have moments of comedy...which actually feel like they're funny. You know precisely what I mean. Just read it again.
Thirdly, I'd like to comment on something called Beta Need Levels. The only time when a person can safely decide that they don't need one is when their own writing fulfills two prerequisites:
1. Being mostly devoid of common 'missing/replaced word' errors resulting from convenient slips in thought train, Freudian, Jungian or otherwise. Yes, I've seen point mutations in thought process that went in a most crotch-ety direction. (EDIT: I saw what you did there. At least you spare a thought for readers )
2. Doesn't have a plotline that kind of stretches incredulity for one reason or another. More on this later.
Basically, be more careful with your writing. Rough draft it may be, but don't have me laughing for the wrong reasons now.
(I used to have 3 and 4 as well, but let's not talk about them right now...unnecessary baggage.)
Lastly, The Art Of Punchlines. Three basic guidelines for punchlines:
- They need to have punch (or kick, whichever you prefer getting in the ribs, gibs, or the nuts)
- They can't all be cheesy (unless they're epically cheesy, in which case 'epic' tends to manual override 'cheesy'.)
- They actually need to be connected with the rest of the passage to work.
If you've noticed by now, in very practical terms Point Three decides how much Point One actually takes effect, and in this case...let me just say that at least you didn't get a negative score. It's possible - if you butcher everything just right, which thankfully you didn't. However, it's still an awkward jump from Fate hugging Chrono to that introspection in the last two lines of the whole passage, and that doesn't sit too well with me...
...and yeah, seriously, the line is cheesy. Overused. Cliche. At least put it differently...
Alright, I remember what I said just now, something about the storyline stretching incredulity. Basically, what I'm saying is: give Fate a rest already, this Project F whatever thing has already been done to the bloody death, having been given a treatment in every other season of Nanoha aired on anime.
I reck that by the time StrikerS ended, it's more or less a dead-dog topic, even in Fate's eyes - I mean, come on girl, dammit, you mean you're NOT actually over it yet? You chose your future in A's, and then in StrikerS, and now a THIRD TIME?! Let's be realistic, even in Fate's eyes, this topic would more or less have lost a lot of importance by the time StrikerS ends. It's something I don't like about fanfiction: ghosts that have already been put to rest, dug out of their moldy graves, and given a makeover, before being hastily buried about four feet under. (Yeah, I know, Crisis does provide something of a reason for this - but Clyde? And Jail hinting himself to be the Father?! Oh, geez...seriously. He probably thought of himself as the father of Project F, but not Fate's father - he indicated as much against in StrikerS anyway.)
Or at least, it's a sleeping-dog topic. And you know what they say...
...let sleeping dogs lie.
And I guess that applies to Serpents, too.
Hope the real thing looks nicer than the draft...
Oh, right! And I forgot to add this bit! Stream of consciousness reviewing for the win.
Overall Comments: Feels like an OVA. With various...connotations involved. Take it as you will, folks.
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow, in a house dropped on an ugly, old woman.
Firstly, I want to thank you for your input. I'm always appreciative of people who take the time to offer their thoughts. =)
Quote:
Originally Posted by XenahortCharybdis
Now how's that?
You call Alavon, but you get Xena.
Conclusion: You're too loud, my friend. Pipe down a bit. And have a little more patience; people don't always appear the second, minute, hour or day you want them to. A hasty angler goes home empty.
Heh, I guess I should have added an emote or a smiley. Alavon is a friend of mine, and he had very much wanted to see me write this awhile ago, so I was teasing by feigning mock anger at him for not saying anything. :P
Anyway, will address the rest in the spoiler tag you provided, but just want to mention that there's a better chance of me understanding where you are coming from with the more specific you get. If it's only addressed in a general sense, then I'll probably just understand the vague general idea, but not really be able to apply it specifically.
Spoiler for Review - Red Diaries Jewel Chapter 3-4...And Some Other Things:
Quote:
Originally Posted by XenahortCharybdis
First, let me say that it was a fairly smart move for you to use the first person style for this writing. Why? Because, simply put, without the use of 1st person, which necessarily involves the personal thoughts and views of the person who is the subject, and thus ends up having the advantage of this thing I call Personal Quirks, the writing is fairly...
...normal? I've read Crisis a bit, and it shows quite a great deal. It's ho-hum, nice idea, coolish coolio cooley and stuff, but nothing really gripping, or really tense, or really with any impact.
Interestingly enough, I used to hate English classes, but that was mainly writing essay after essay, heh. But the way I approach fanfiction is fairly different than essays. My first motivation is to entertain, even if it ends up only being myself. Although I also like to see if I can improve or try new things, which sometimes has me landing flat on my face.
Quote:
Originally Posted by XenahortCharybdis
And I have some idea why. First off, let's talk about your love for One Liners, no, not the witty sort, before you start thinking that you're a regular Samuel Beckett. I mean those short little phrases that hardly tell me anything that's happening beyond who's talking, the subject of the talking, and a fairly vague reaction to the talking.
This leads to a larger problem I used to beat myself up about back in middle school, which I have in recent times taken the liberty to call Narrating Without Narrative: basically, I know what's happening, and I can vaguely imagine the various stage directions, expressions and whatever, like any good human should be able to. But the point about writing is not to leave these basics to the human imagination. You aren't writing a script. You are writing a story.
I'd consider it more a difference in writing styles. You can have something like Wheel of Time or Eragon, where everything is described down to a T, and take up copious amounts of words and pages. And there are minimalists like me, who try to focus on what's important, and let human imagination fill in the gaps, like the Adept series. It was one of my favorites, and when I read, I like to see where my imagination take me.
Both are valid, but what you're saying, I partially have been feeling that I could be a bit more descriptive in parts. Part of the problem is that sometimes I can't think of how to describe things, and rather than let things sit there for weeks or months, I push it out. Since I'm an amateur, and this is fanfiction, I don't have the benefit of a pre-reader who can read over things and make suggestions, or who I can say, “Hey, I'm having an issue with this scene; can I bounce ideas off you?”
Which leads me to posting the rough drafts here. I'm a “specifics” person, so mainly I look for someone to say, “Hey, this specific section here doesn't look right or could be better. How about [insert suggestion]?”
Quote:
Originally Posted by XenahortCharybdis
Even in third person, there should be some reflective introspection in the writing, which I'm afraid is a little lacking in these writings of yours; by the same token, all the more they should be present in second and first person pieces, in which you're essentially artsy-fying the introspective takes on things that are normally described in narrative given Third Person writing.
Mainly, I would suggest you drop the Third Person In First Place effect, which is essentially porting over too much of your third person descriptive style into the first person. Have the person think more, rather than just do so much, and think so little that it feels like third person with 'her' replaced with 'I'.
Ironically, my writing style changed to what it is, based on input from when I used to write in another fandom. Overall, I've noticed more people liking what I've written, so I've considered it an improvement. The “voice” in each scene used to go all over the place, so that I could describe what each person was thinking and feeling. I was told limiting each scene to one person made it cleaner and clearer, and it made a certain sense.
Quote:
Originally Posted by XenahortCharybdis
Also, on another note, sharpen your use of paragraphing and vocabulary in your third person narrative. You just know something is funny when two instances of the word 'hands' are used in the same paragraph.
Oddly enough, varying my vocabulary so I don't have the same words in the same paragraph, is something I try for. I keep a webpage open to a thesaurus. But sometimes I will put the same word in just to write out the scene, and then go back over to rewrite it. Sometimes I miss things, tho, so it helps is reviewers are specific about the exact weak spot in a fic.^^
Quote:
Originally Posted by XenahortCharybdis
We'll talk more at length about these things...but let me just say that all your techniques, really, are related. As long as you have a fairly good grasp of English, enough practice, and the daring, you just need to know where the focuses and main concepts of different styles require something else of you, and code-switch accordingly. Conversely, what weaknesses you have in your primary writing style (Third Person in this case - most people start with that) will carry over to any tributary mode that you try out.
I pretty much realized that was going to be the case when I switched over to trying first person. It's not something I've had a whole lot of experience with using. But I learn by doing, so I'll be taking some commentary with me to my next fic that uses it (No idea when that would be, however).
Quote:
Originally Posted by XenahortCharybdis
Next important should be Knowing Your Genre. Essentially, this means that I had no idea this was supposed to be a detective story until you said so - sounded more like information spoon-feeding. Not that the fact that the information came in easily was bad - I'm fairly sure Fate has connections enough to get those nitty-gritties settled; but the problem, really, again, is with the way things are described. Detective novels and stories have a unique style that involves a number of twists and surprises...which, for your information, actually feel like surprises. They also have revelations...which, again, actually feel like revelations. And like all other stories, they have moments of comedy...which actually feel like they're funny. You know precisely what I mean. Just read it again.
Partly, I didn't want to announce in advance, which is why I didn't really didn't say. Fate is an agent, and although I assume she has developed some detective skills, she's not Humphrey Bogart.
Quote:
Originally Posted by XenahortCharybdis
Thirdly, I'd like to comment on something called Beta Need Levels. The only time when a person can safely decide that they don't need one is when their own writing fulfills two prerequisites:
1. Being mostly devoid of common 'missing/replaced word' errors resulting from convenient slips in thought train, Freudian, Jungian or otherwise. Yes, I've seen point mutations in thought process that went in a most crotch-ety direction. (EDIT: I saw what you did there. At least you spare a thought for readers )
2. Doesn't have a plotline that kind of stretches incredulity for one reason or another. More on this later.
Basically, be more careful with your writing. Rough draft it may be, but don't have me laughing for the wrong reasons now.
I'm not Steven King. :P While I can understand part of the intellectualism you are approaching things with, this is ultimately fanfiction; an amateur effort to have some fun. And as I said before, I don't have a pre-reader. Unless someone is willing to understand the plot in advance, understand my mindset, and be able to read each scene within that context so I can make changes in advance... well, you're gonna get the rough drafts you see here. No one is perfect.
Quote:
Originally Posted by XenahortCharybdis
Lastly, The Art Of Punchlines. Three basic guidelines for punchlines:
- They need to have punch (or kick, whichever you prefer getting in the ribs, gibs, or the nuts)
- They can't all be cheesy (unless they're epically cheesy, in which case 'epic' tends to manual override 'cheesy'.)
- They actually need to be connected with the rest of the passage to work.
If you've noticed by now, in very practical terms Point Three decides how much Point One actually takes effect, and in this case...let me just say that at least you didn't get a negative score. It's possible - if you butcher everything just right, which thankfully you didn't. However, it's still an awkward jump from Fate hugging Chrono to that introspection in the last two lines of the whole passage, and that doesn't sit too well with me...
...and yeah, seriously, the line is cheesy. Overused. Cliche. At least put it differently...
Didn't really think Fate hugging Chrono was too humorous. Well, mild at best. But this is good, now that you mentioned a specific with regards to the ending. That's something I can look at more and see about adjusting, although suggestions about how specifically to adjust do help in getting the changes through. Without specific suggestions, sometimes I'm just taking a crap shoot.^^
Quote:
Originally Posted by XenahortCharybdis
Alright, I remember what I said just now, something about the storyline stretching incredulity. Basically, what I'm saying is: give Fate a rest already, this Project F whatever thing has already been done to the bloody death, having been given a treatment in every other season of Nanoha aired on anime.
I reck that by the time StrikerS ended, it's more or less a dead-dog topic, even in Fate's eyes - I mean, come on girl, dammit, you mean you're NOT actually over it yet? You chose your future in A's, and then in StrikerS, and now a THIRD TIME?! Let's be realistic, even in Fate's eyes, this topic would more or less have lost a lot of importance by the time StrikerS ends. It's something I don't like about fanfiction: ghosts that have already been put to rest, dug out of their moldy graves, and given a makeover, before being hastily buried about four feet under. (Yeah, I know, Crisis does provide something of a reason for this - but Clyde? And Jail hinting himself to be the Father?! Oh, geez...seriously. He probably thought of himself as the father of Project F, but not Fate's father - he indicated as much against in StrikerS anyway.)
Or at least, it's a sleeping-dog topic. And you know what they say...
...let sleeping dogs lie.
Heh, sometimes I feel that way about all the NanoFate fics on ff.net, or sometimes want to scream about too much Yuri. In fact, not long ago, there was some issues with that.
But the truth is, it's different for everyone. Some people like reading about particular things, over and over. In that light, my opinion means squat, because everyone has different tastes. If someone wants to write NanoFate yuri, then they'll go for it, regardless of what I think (nor should they take my opinion into account, because it's their fun factor and thus their feelings that matter).
Initially speaking, I wasn't going to write this. In Crisis, I was going to leave the whole “Is Jail Fate's father”issue unresolved with Fate just deciding that it didn't matter if he was or not. But I began getting quite a bit of commentary over it, with people wanting to know, and some hoping he wasn't. They wanted a resolution, and so I compromised with the hint in the epilogue. I don't have a problem with pleasing a fan base if the initial issue isn't a bit one, and I can squeeze a decent story out of it. And then people like Alavon wanted to see me expand on it.
Different strokes for different folks.
With that said, I don't have any other plans to go back over Project F. My Crisis universe is pretty much closed on it now. But you have to understand that, with a continuation, some things do need to be addressed, as the original material left a lot open.
Quote:
Originally Posted by XenahortCharybdis
Overall Comments: Feels like an OVA. With various...connotations involved. Take it as you will, folks.
Heh, In a general sense, that is what I've been aiming for with RJD. I had a 26 ep series with Crisis, switching to a 10-12 ep OVA series, then back into Force/Vivid dual storyline release with my two upcoming projects.
Anyway, thanks for the commentary. I'll keep things in mind, and see where I can improve.^^
Actually, this place has been pretty quiet lately except for Satashi and Kaijo posting updates...
...
I feel so lazy and unproductive now.
Um, I have been posting 'My Guardian Angel' and not EVEN long ago did I post the completed chapter 3 of MGA; I'm sorry that it's not worth to be included with 'Satashi and Kaijo posting updates'...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi
Spoiler for AlternativeS 7-1:
When the morning light woke me from my restless sleep, I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling above me. I heard soft snoring sounds coming from downstairs and last night's events lingered on my mind even more than before. I had made a huge mistake, and I felt as if I was going to throw up just thinking about it. After taking a deep breath, I rubbed my sore eyes to remove the remains of dried tears. I took a moment to steady myself and forced my body to move before I changed my mind. After claiming my wheelchair, I went downstairs to Fate and gently shook her shoulder.
AlternativeS VII
By: Satashi
"Wake up," Nanoha's soft voice requested to her sleeping friend. "Fate-chan?" Red eyes slowly opened and she gave a weak smile for them. "You need to meet with Yuuno-kun, remember?" Fate blinked a few times and then nodded while pulling herself up to sit properly. "Hey... Fate-chan?" The blond looked down at the girl next to her and Nanoha felt her stomach turn in knots. "For what its worth... I'm sorry for what I did."
"...Yeah." Fate rubbed her eyes and the bridge of her nose. "Its okay, Alicia-"
"No," Nanoha shook her head. "Regardless, I let my feelings win over rational thinking. I used what she said as an excuse to lie to myself to make it seem okay... I shouldn't have. I'm sorry."
The honest tone in her friend's voice made Fate soften. "Apology accepted. Thank you for understanding... I know I don't have to but I'd feel a lot better saying this..." The girl let Nanoha nod before continuing. "I love my wife, and my family. I know you are her in a different world and all but... I'm faithful to her, and I know she will understand what happened. On my wife's behalf, I want to say that she would forgive you as well."
"...Thank you." Nanoha hung her head for a moment before nodding. "I know apologizing won't make it right, but I hope we can still be friends while you're here."
"Yes," Fate reached out and took Nanoha's hand. "Of course."
Feeling the awkward sensation course through her, Nanoha took her hand back and placed it on the red orb to control her chair. "Well, I'll go get dressed. You need to contact your sister and Yuuno-kun, 'kay?"
"Mmn," Fate nodded yet again and watched the girl move away from her. Once clear from sight, Fate let out a soft sigh, rubbing her temples. 'The next few days are going to be really awkward...'
Spoiler for AlternativeS 7-2:
~**~
Fate couldn't help but give a small smile when she saw her sister slowly sitting up in bed. She had allowed her twin to sleep in her normal assigned room, which was now being monitored once again. Even though Fate knew that Hayate was just being cautious, the feeling of being watched by her friends still left an uneasy feeling in the girl's stomach. "Good morning," Fate finally greeted when Alicia seemed awake enough to realize where she was.
The sleepy girl looked at the clock in the room and made a snorting sound. "I didn't even know there was a six in the morning," she complained only half serious.
"For all the trouble you caused yesterday, coming with me now is the least you could do."
Alicia blinked at Fate before rubbing her eyes. "I must still be sleeping, what did I do yesterday?"
"Nanoha, in the bath."
"Oh," Alicia grinned. "Did you have a fun time last night?"
Fate took a deep breath to steady herself. "Nanoha and I aren't really married."
"...What?"
Moving to sit on the side of the bed, Fate leaned forward a bit and looked at the floor. "This is going to sound a little weird, but stay with me." A quick glance let her see her sister nod. "I didn't tell you this before because I was so happy to finally meet you... I didn't want to push you away."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm... not really from this world."
Alicia clicked her tongue. "I'm not either, really, considering I grew up on another planet until I was about nine or so."
"No, I mean..." Fate moved her hands in an attempt to help her find the right words. "I'm from an alternate reality...One from where you had originally died." The girl took the silence as a request to continue her story. "You see, somehow I was brought to this world and found that I had originally died back in the past. At the same time, you somehow survived."
"...Okay, that is a little weird." Alicia moved so she was sitting next to Fate. "So you're saying you're from another dimension?"
"Time line, dimension, world, whatever you want to call it."
"...How did you get here?"
"I don't know." Fate turned to look at Alicia and brought up a hand to touch her cheek.
A gloved hand reached forward to touch the glass tube in front of it. The greenish liquid surrounded a sleeping girl inside of it, hair floating around her due to the random bubbles moving around. The hand moved to wipe away dust from the glass, but jerked back when her touch made the capsule activate. The girl's eyes opened, showing crimson even through the liquid.
"Sis!?" Alicia shook Fate's shoulders, snapping the girl back to reality. "What happened? you suddenly blanked out on me."
"I...sorry." Fate put a hand to her face. "I... had a flashback... I think."
"Flashback?" Alicia blinked a few more times before sighing. "Great, my sister is a nut case." Standing, she stretched out to make herself wake up more. "Tell me more over some coffee, I'm still too tired to understand all this." Looking back at Fate, she smirked. "You're one interesting girl, sis."
~**~
"...And that brings you to right now," Fate finished her story.
"...Wow," Alicia leaned back in her chair and looked at her sister sitting across the table. "And I thought I had it rough growing up on the streets..." She watched Fate take a small sip of her coffee. "So they are trying to get you back home?"
"Yes," Fate nodded slightly. "I normally spend my mornings with Yuuno, or the afternoons if he doesn't need me there. He said he has an idea on what happened, but without my memories leading up to the event, he's almost working blind on it."
"And that was a flashback you had earlier? Did you remember anything important?"
Fate sighed softly. "I remember a little bit, but its so foggy... I'll tell Yuuno when I go see him, maybe he will understand a little more."
Alicia hummed to herself and went to take another drink before stopping. "Wait a minute, I just remembered, you said that Nanoha wasn't your wife... So that means last night...?"
The older sister blushed and looked away slightly. "That was a real big problem."
"I see..." Alicia grinned despite herself. "I'm sorry."
"You don't sound sorry," Fate accused, a little upset.
"Well you lied to me first, so we're even." Alicia countered with a chuckle. "I was just trying to help out my sister, so this was technically your fault."
Fate tried to say something to denounce the fact, but shortly had to admit to herself that she had, indeed, caused most of what happened. "...Yeah. I just wish I realized it earlier. Poor Nanoha..."
"Whoa, this girl tried to make you cheat on your wife and you say poor Nanoha? She deserves what she got, even if I did egg her on to do it."
"No," Fate shook her head. "I know Nanoha, even if she isn't the one I grew up with... I can tell, she's so desperate and sad...She had a moment of weakness, and caved into her desires. Even if we did do something last night, I feel deep down that she would feel just as bad as she does this morning about it."
"From what you told me, and what I saw, I think she would want you to stay with her."
"...I know she would, but it doesn't mean she wouldn't feel bad. All at once, her world turned upside down. She has a child to look after now, and she latched on to someone so fast it made her blind to so many things... And now she suddenly crashed into a wall... I can't imagine how she feels right now."
"Its not very pleasant," Nanoha's voice made Fate jump in her seat, almost dropping her mug. The blonde turned to look to the side and saw Nanoha there with Vivio next to her. "Fate-chan, Yuuno-kun wanted me to tell you he needs to see you in the research room."
"O-okay..." Fate stood and knew she was blushing at having been caught in the act. Alicia stood as well and asked if she could come along as well. After agreeing, The girl looked down at Nanoha again and tried to think of something to say.
"Its okay," Nanoha replied in a soft, sad voice. "I need to go, I promised Vivio some breakfast." Turning to look at the small girl, Nanoha tried her best to put on a smile for her. "Ready, Vivio?"
"Mmn!" The girl nodded happily.
*flails*
Satashi~! *whiney-voice* Why leave it there! Ah, well. After reading the last part, I feel even more excited (if that is even possible). Even though I originally wanted Atl!Nanoha and Fate to be together, I see that Alt!Alicia needs some love too. So go get her, Tiger! XD
And now I'm curious about that flashback; is it hers or her sister's?
...
Hm...mystery...
Keep it up, Satashi! Update when you can! ^_^
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaijo
And where the hell are you, Alavon? This is what you wanted, and I don't see any commentary from you!
Sorry! >_< I only had time to read Satashi's fic when I scrolled down and 'BAM'; there is your story. I have to go now but I'll read it as soon as I can and I'll comment on it tomorrow since I have a lot of homework (or 'assignments' as my Professors like to call them...) to do. And textbooks are expensive! 0_o
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow, in a house dropped on an ugly, old woman.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alavon
Sorry! >_< I only had time to read Satashi's fic when I scrolled down and 'BAM'; there is your story. I have to go now but I'll read it as soon as I can and I'll comment on it tomorrow since I have a lot of homework (or 'assignments' as my Professors like to call them...) to do. And textbooks are expensive! 0_o
Heh, I know how that goes. Makes me glad I'm done with college. :P
Anyway, just teasin' ya, don't want to make you flunk!
2010-01-19, 22:01
Author
Has there been any progress on that end?
I could mention that I rewatched all 26 episodes of Seto No Hanayome recently, which I supposed helped put me in a better mindset for crack. Highly suggest watching it. Romantic comedy of a guy who gets engaged to the daughter of a mermaid yakuza family. It's as good as it sounds!
*shivers* I did not need that epiphany 
)
