Brother has become an addict, getting really angry and frustrated.

[Spicy~Noodles]

Maybe I can help you since I was required to learn about child development before I could become a teacher. This is gonna be a long story but I think you can gain some valuable knowledge from me.

I'll start with the science then I'll go through my own personal experiences.

From birth to about the age of 25 (used to be 23) we know that the brain is developing. As a child, from 6-11 is what we teachers call "the golden years" because the students are pretty well behaved and really haven't began to think too much for themselves. Their awareness of the world is extremely limited to the environment they've been in. In other words, they're still innocent and dependent on others to guide them.

Then comes the terrible 12's and up (17) at this point in time, puberty has just kicked in, they are getting hair in places that were once a barren wasteland, being exposed to hormones that their brain are releasing, and the toughest part of it all, THEY JUST BECAME "SELF AWARE." At this stage in life, (I think your bro fits the description) they are literally going in and out of insanity. (be mindful of this fact, you were probably experiencing something similar at his age too.. most likely) As another teacher once put, "Those kids have been damaged mentally, they all finally got broken."

Before, in those "Golden Years" they would listen to what people said, but now that they are "Self-Aware" their mind state changes into this: "I don't have to listen to you, if I don't want to." "I don't need anyone to help me." "Just let me do what I want. Just leave me alone." and it all happens for one simple reason, they finally understand that it's actually true. They are transitioning to becoming an independent adult, much like you have probably just became an adult yourself. A lot of core values they take into adulthood will be found in the teenage years. They are "starting" to make concrete thoughts and philosophy about how they should live their life and how others should too. A lot of things are still changeable, at this stage. They need a role model they can relate to, learn from, and most importantly "be cool with". Otherwise, you might as well disown him, you will find yourself powerless to change him.

(I suggest you seriously start getting to his level, understand him a little more deeper, why not sit down and shoot him in the face at counterstrike for a few minutes and have a conversation with him while playing and hopefully smiling. Watch some Naruto together or something you both "SERIOUSLY" enjoy. In other words, AT THIS AGE, for brothers and sisters, this is the time to "BOND" it's time to share and relate. If you don't do this while he's still a teenager, you may never bond with him ever again in your life.)

As an maturing and matured adult (18-25), all of this philosophy about life and stuff as a teenager has begun to have been tested and retested. The adult's view of things suddenly become narrowed down. All of these ideas now become concrete and now some of those switches that were turned on in the brain from puberty have now been shut off. With those ideas of his he will continue to use them as a way to interpret the world for the rest of his life.

(If you want your brother to be a good functioning adult, as you probably are yourself. You have to find the key to making him listen, and truly listen with eagerness. Those stupid thoughts and ideas he has right now, it's very possible that without proper guidance, can become his views as an adult, and that will result in one really bad boy. "An adult who's still a little kid.")

Now the science to all of this is actually a little more complicated than that, but I'm pretty sure that is all you really need to know. LOL "Child Development in a nutshell" by Spicy~Noodles

Here comes my life experience (True story, not based on a true story.)

I grew up in a poor family, I had 2 older brothers and a younger sister. As a child I was actually rather gifted straight A student, I wore the gayest clothes you could imagine, wearing 70's, 80's church clothing to elementary school everyday, and I never knew how gay it was. Both my parents work 6-7 days a week to put food on the table, keep us warm, and to make sure we got everything we needed to become a healthy adult, I know they loved everyone of us so much and I bet it killed them to not be able to see us everyday.

Basically I grew up with part-time parents. My eldest brother was 8 years older than me, and he served as mom and dad while they worked. He cooked, cleaned, punished, taught, protected, and most importantly he led us three. All three of us looked up to him when he was 13, (2nd oldest bro was 7) I was 5, and my sister was 3. He was and still is my hero. He treated us well, like real Knight in shining armor.

My eldest brother grew up with no role model, and in his teenage years he was extremely athletic, and started to experience racism at school. He and his friends began to resort to violence to resolve the issue, and it was bad. I remember in elementary school at a school violence assembly, one of the police officers showed us the knife MY OWN BROTHER brought to school. They even said his name and everyone looked at me, I was so embarrassed.

By this time, my eldest brother began to go in and out of juvenile detention (Jail for teens and kids) and no one was ever home to take care of us, (THANK GOD FOR THE MICROWAVE) me and my other bro didn't have big bro around anymore. Sometimes I would cry in my room and slam my head into the walls for what seemed to be hours thinking about why he wasn't there to teach me math and reading. I'm not sure what my other siblings were feeling at the time but I'm sure it was similar.

The three of us had no one to tell us what was right or wrong anymore. And my parents were always working so hard everyday as uneducated factory workers, they just couldn't be home with us. It sucked, and everything began to be trial and error, my eldest brother would continue to go in and out of jail. My second oldest brother started stealing as a child trying to have the "cool" things. We would travel into the woods all the time doing stupid shit, my brother and I started to experiment with beer and cigarettes. Our friends were "the bad guys" I remember holding a colt .45 pistol that my brother stole from my best friend's house.

As for my elder brother, he became connected to some very notorious gangs (not the ones the school kids talk about), he dropped out of school very early on in the 9th grade. By the time he was 17 he was going to Canada (Vancouver) robbing drug dealers for massive quantities of drugs like crack and marijuana. He would visit home once in a while, he still loved my parents very much, but he was so involved he couldn't stay long. Leaving the gang was a death sentence, even I knew that. And the funny thing is, we still idolized him.

My brother was sent to prison for attempted murder after stabbing someone at Seattle Centre' we waited for his return. He had his release day on the calendar and my mom and dad even took the ENTIRE WEEK off. We offered to pick him up from prison, my parents JUST BOUGHT a new house. He said he could get to the house himself, we believed him. We set up a huge party for him, lots of soda cans decorated the dining room table, new flowers lots and lots of great food my mom cooked up.

He didn't come home that day, we waited till the next day, and the next, and the next.. still not even phone call. We called the corrections facility and was told he was released a week earlier than we thought. When we would drive around, sometimes I thought I saw him on the streets.. it was probably just my imagination. We never gave up hope.

One night, my house got a phone call. It was coming from the jail, I was shaking so hard I was only 11 at the time but I knew this was really bad. I pushed the button to accept the call, my mom was standing next to me and my brother said quietly, give mom the phone. My mom was silent for the next 2-3 minutes and then gave me the phone.

"David, don't cry ok? But I won't be able to see you for a very very long time. I did something really bad, and I'll be in jail for a long time David." My eyes shot tears and I was sniffling. That single sentence has been the worst single line I have heard as of yet. Even today, the damage from the single sentence has had a major effect on what I would and will become.

My brother had shot someone to death. Right then and there, I was broken. I stopped caring about others, and thought only for myself, I started smoking and am still addicted today. My second eldest brother would become a career criminal.

At the tender age of 11 I was smoking weed and by the time I was 13 I had my first taste of jail, I was caught selling weed at school. I wasn't all bad though, at school I was anti-bully, when I saw a little guy getting picked on, I'd fight the bully right then and there. I even knocked out the vice president of the student council for bullying. Surprisingly enough although I never did homework ever, I always excelled in school exams constantly having top scores in class. And even though I failed the courses the school passed me forward anyways.

Life continued to tumble downwards, everyone was scared of me, I was the type of guy who didn't think twice about resorting to violence and getting suspended and expelled. And I did, and I didn't have a girlfriend for a while, but I knew some girls liked me. I was just unapproachable like uhm, Sasuke. Yeah, I wanna think my attitude was more like Sasuke. LOL

High school was more of the same, except it started to mean life and death. Real gun's became a reoccuring theme, and I often found myself engulfed in video games on my free time. I am fucking good at video games, (COUNTER-STRIKE, TEKKEN, ETC.) but I stopped listening to those around me, like my mother and father, my brother, and even my little sister, after-all all those people had no credentials to tell me that I should and shouldn't do. What have they done? (That was how I thought) Some people I fought, would come looking for me at school and I would hear they had guns on them. So did me and my bro, we even held up this guy's sister at gunpoint and made her call her brother so we could mess him up. We succeeded. My free time involved some of the worst things someone could be doing, cocaine, smoking weed, playing video games, drinking, and of course violence.

I couldn't graduate, so I got my GED in my sophomore year and went straight to college on my parents money. RIGHT THERE, THERE IT WAS, MY RELEASE. No more pressure, no more reputation, just freedom, and education. I got that second chance I always wanted deep inside and just wanted to be the good little boy I once was.

But my previous life was always waiting at home for me, my brother started smoking meth. And became addicted, I tried to make him stop, I stopped doing cocaine a year before. But my brother kept getting worse. I begged him to stop, but I was powerless, I couldn't influence him the least bit. I even fought him and was punched out, elbowed in the face several times and thrown down a flight of stairs only to collide with the door at the bottom. All because I wanted him to stop. I didn't know what to do so I was just trying everything I could.

To make it shorter and finish it, I flourished in college and later university and my second eldest brother would have the same fate as my eldest bro. I am still awaiting both of their releases today. What I regret most is that I never paid attention to my little sister, who always wanted to feel important and involved but we protected her like a princess, she was untouchable, only through our dead bodies would you get a shot at my sister. We ignored her feelings and I feel it stunted her development and judgment skills. It also did something very important, severed a bond we could of had with one another. Although my second oldest bro is the "coolest" and "funniest" of the family so he made up for a lot that I should have provided for her as her older bro.

The reason why I somehow got through all of this amazing series of events (oh believe me, this is just the tip of the iceberg.) is that I had mentors throughout my life to encourage me that things in life weren't what they seemed to be, (they molded my fucked up mind) and I could be rich just like them (Yes, it was the rich and wealthy who were my mentors, I sought them out in desperation and found them). And my brother always tried to guide me through the telephone. Remind me of his mistakes in life and urged me not to repeat them constantly. From then on out, I graduated with a Bachelors of Science in Education. And became a teacher, instead of teaching at home in America, I decided to teach in Asia, and wander the world. I'm happy for the most part, and I'm where I like to be and doing what I really love to do, mold the minds of younger people who are looking for answers like I was when I was a kid/teen. I am trying to do for them what they did for me, they saved me from being a complete failure and possibly a convict.

Heres what I suggest you do "Justin Kim"

I want to tell you, you have to be understanding of who your little bro is, he's fragile as hell, let me ask you a question. What do you do with fragile objects?

You treat them with care, and always be gentle.
Being hard and tough on your brother will do nothing but make him backlash at you.

Keep in mind, hes not going to remember everything and it doesn't all come together in one lecture or overnight. Here's how you deal with this..

Always be encouraging and have faith in his own ability to understand and learn. Your his guide and teacher, you gotta hang out with him as much as you can, introduce him to YOUR friends, take him to dinner, show him the parties you attend.

Make him feel like hes the best, and your right there to cheer him onto his path of glory. Find out what he wants to do in life, and push him and push him to do that and do it better than everyone else. You have to make him apart of your normal life, not only should he be your little brother, he should also be your little homie, little warrior, the prince of your family. Treat him like one.

Repeat these things often, constantly play your role is HIS GUIDE TO LIFE, the crazy, confusing, and often painful life. It's gonna take you to do all of these things more than once to make it work. Expect to have done this like 500-1000 times taking him out, answering his questions, encouraging him, reinforcing his dreams, just flat out BEING NICE TO HIM. You may not agree with him playing video games and all that jive, but are you providing him with an interesting substitute?

Tell your mom and dad to be polite to him, mom and dad are very important as they are the King and Queen of the family. They gotta understand the game plan. I hope they listen to you, if they aren't listening to what you want them to do... I use this trick often to my parents, tell them you learned about it in school.. and refer to a random author they haven't heard of. Credibility plays well in the minds of adults.

Don't try to forcefully take away what he likes to do, everyone has things they love doing and not everyone is the same, you gotta accept that, it doesn't mean you can't change him. You just have to slowly ease into his life. Take him to events, have fun with him. He might be an annoying brat, but lets see how annoying he is when there's a bunch hot chicks in front of him.

If he doesn't have a girlfriend, don't let him stay virgin.. gosh in this day and age its sheer torture to live without a girlfriend. Another reason why I started to change and become more of a man, a good man was because I had girlfriends who loved the hell out of me literally. They loved me so much, that the hell boy inside of my started to vanish. My advice hook him up if he doesn't have a girlfriend. Send plenty of girls along his path hes bound to latch on to one of them. If hes a wussie, instruct like a big brother/big sister should. Show him the moves, encourage him.

Last but not least, watch Naruto. And pay attention to the relationships of Kakashi and Naruto and also Jiraiya and Naruto. That is some fucking awesome kid to role model examples. If you can be subtle yet effective in teaching like them.. you will be one hell of sibling to your brother. Don't let them walk the hard path alone. Because in life, there is no such thing as the "easy" road. Life is hard, but it can be a million times harder if there's no one there to show them the way out.

I hope you learned from my life story. And I wish you luck and success, with your brother and happiness in your journey in life.

[oompa loompa]

Alright, there was a question asked before, which hasnt been answered yet, is he able to keep his grades up with that amount of playing? I hate to say this, and I dont think you'll like it, but, back off. Or, atleast pretend to. I can relate to your brother very closely - I had the same problem - and my older brother used to do the same thing as you're doing right now. Infact, we were roughly the same ages, well, maybe a couple of years younger ( my brother was 17 I was 13 - and was completely addicted to warcraft 3). Unfortunately, while you are genuinely concerned it isnt coming across as concern - that should be obvious. Its still ' what the hell does he know' 'what the fuck is his problem' 'if mom and dad arnt saying anything why should i listen to you??' or just simply ' why is he such a dick?!?', instead of 'hmm.. maybe i need to take a look at what im doing'. What I mean is, while you most certainly arnt making his problem worse, you might very well be making his attitude worse (anger/rage - I cant even count the number of times I've had fights with my brother over the computer during that time.) In the end, as long as he doesnt view you as an authority figure, this direct approach will not help.

Well, what made me quit was moving to another place ( you did mention moving around), and I took that oppurtunity to break that cycle, get into sports etc. and while I still do play video games once in a while, its probably 1/10th of what it was before. I'm not suggesting you wait to move though.

Unfortunately, if his grades arnt falling, and he still has friends, its going to be very tough to make him see consequence. Being underweight, for some reason, is not really that big a deal at that age ( as far as I know ) - so using that approach isnt going to work. As far as your parents are concerned, they have to go to work, and as long as hes keeping his grades up, why would they believe hes not studying enough? Rather, they might admit the fact that he plays a lot, but its certainly not anything serious - really, its not that tough to be a healthy teenager - especially, if he has a high metabolism, and doesnt smoke (does he?), and eats 3 meals a day - playing video games a lot will not have immediate detrimental effects. You're parents arnt stupid, from what they get to see of him, he might very well not have a serious enough problem for them to step in.

I have to suggest ( as a lot of others have already suggested) to talk to him through your parents. I dont mean to sound harsh, but the best you will be able to get through is that you're concerned, ordering him around will only make you seem bossy. If you show you're parents that you're genuinely concerned I'm sure they will respond.. Though, once again, if he keeps his grades/friends up, I don't know how strong that response will be.

From what I know of people who've been game-addicts ( and I know quite a few of them), there will come a point when it burns out. I dont mean theyll stop playing all together, but it will reduce. If you feel it has already developed into a serious problem, try your best to convince your parents about what you think. I really dont mean to sound harsh, but direct confrontations are not the way to go (I'm sure you're beginning to realize this yourself). Once your parents begin to check on him and put limits on the amount he can play ( not just the ' did you do your homework', I mean ' dont let me catch you playing more than x hours a day, or there will be hell' ), I'm fairly sure it will reduce itself.

[Spicy~Noodles]

I don't know how beneficial threats really are, I've been threatened so many times in my life my reaction is just one of two things.

1. Completely ignore it, it means absolutely nothing me.
2. Resolve with violence immediately.

Threats can work as a temporary measure, but how does it benefit the brother in the long haul? It sounds like Justin is looking for a way to make his bro a good and productive guy. If you threaten him as a way to fix things, your just showing him it's one way to resolve a problem. One day, he too will threaten his family and colleagues as a way to solve his own problems. It's all about being a good example and a good and cool role model to follow. Sure hope Justin is popular guy, it could really help.

Also, I used to play a ton of video games, my mind was always on fire. I was the champ aka Spicy~Noodles, Spicy[tEs] and me {A.I.}_XTC used to wreak havoc on Starcraft, US West.

I didn't know what to do everyday in my life, I had so much time to sit around and jack off, smoke, drink, fight. Skip school and shit, and I always craved the answer, I knew deep inside I didn't wanna be a "nobody" and I just didn't know where the answer was. I had to figure that out on my own, by finding people who had the answers to my deepest and very difficult questions about life and stuff.

Backing off isn't the answer either, everyone needs someone to show them the light. Whether it's mom or dad, brother, sister, teacher, random bum, millionaire. There got to be someone feeding him good things in his mental life. Keeping him a positive person. Letting them wander alone could result in sheer disaster, I've seen it before my very own eyes. You can't force your way in either. Take this quote and relate it to your situation Justin, think about it long and hard.

"Do you know where the fish have eyes? In the water, fish understand their situation by the flow of the water that surrounds them, if you go against the flow, they'll notice you and flee. If you entrust yourself to the flow, you might be able to catch one." - Miyamoto Musashi author of The Book of Five Rings and the most legendary Samurai ever. LOL even in anime they quote him. But its a useful thought to approaching your bro.

[Justin Kim]

Originally Posted by Spicy~Noodles

I don't know how beneficial threats really are, I've been threatened so many times in my life my reaction is just one of two things.

1. Completely ignore it, it means absolutely nothing me.
2. Resolve with violence immediately.

Threats can work as a temporary measure, but how does it benefit the brother in the long haul? It sounds like Justin is looking for a way to make his bro a good and productive guy. If you threaten him as a way to fix things, your just showing him it's one way to resolve a problem. One day, he too will threaten his family and colleagues as a way to solve his own problems. It's all about being a good example and a good and cool role model to follow. Sure hope Justin is popular guy, it could really help.

Also, I used to play a ton of video games, my mind was always on fire. I was the champ aka Spicy~Noodles, Spicy[tEs] and me {A.I.}_XTC used to wreak havoc on Starcraft, US West.

I didn't know what to do everyday in my life, I had so much time to sit around and jack off, smoke, drink, fight. Skip school and shit, and I always craved the answer, I knew deep inside I didn't wanna be a "nobody" and I just didn't know where the answer was. I had to figure that out on my own, by finding people who had the answers to my deepest and very difficult questions about life and stuff.

Backing off isn't the answer either, everyone needs someone to show them the light. Whether it's mom or dad, brother, sister, teacher, random bum, millionaire. There got to be someone feeding him good things in his mental life. Keeping him a positive person. Letting them wander alone could result in sheer disaster, I've seen it before my very own eyes. You can't force your way in either. Take this quote and relate it to your situation Justin, think about it long and hard.

"Do you know where the fish have eyes? In the water, fish understand their situation by the flow of the water that surrounds them, if you go against the flow, they'll notice you and flee. If you entrust yourself to the flow, you might be able to catch one." - Miyamoto Musashi author of The Book of Five Rings and the most legendary Samurai ever. LOL even in anime they quote him. But its a useful thought to approaching your bro.

The story that was just mentioned earlier and Vexx's continuation of splitting up responsibilities truly gives me hope for the future. To answer the other question that was stated: My brother got into CS when his friends gifted it to him via online. Afterwards, my brother was immersed in this artificial world of killing terriosts, getting headshots, ranking, etc. Spicy Noodles, you have definently had a hard time from the get-go, and not comparing our problems, but I am happy that your problems were resolved and that your led yourself into an opportunistic life.

A social counselor contacted me regarding his behavior at school, and it seems that Michael detains himself from the real world. I think CS is actually reaching the point where it has become an artificial hallucinogen. I heard that he does not talk anything else but CS with his friends. The social counselors also had some of his friends come in and ask if there was something wrong with there friend, whom at the time, was having insomniac sleeping patterns.

The issue is not a bullying issue, I assure everyone. I found that when he started playing CS, it was a form of escapism for him. Where he could be happy killing people, and gaining the satisfaction of respect online. (This conceptual idealization was entirely ridiculous on his part, because respect online cannot be realistic all the time). As he began CS, he even threw away the guitar my parents had bought him as a secondary measure of getting him into music before he got too indulged within the game. The other thing I found interesting was that he maintained a stable grade throughout his high school life. (One thing that bothers me, my brother is coming home even later than before, and I have even remembered finding him at a park just looking at the sky for an hour). When I walked up to him, he was muttering some CS commands or whatever which really gave me a fright. I thought at that point, my brother is nearly on the verge of insanity due to his disposition of CS.

[Spicy~Noodles]

Have you tried making him apart of your social life? If CS is what's important to him, you got to show him how much more cooler you are than CS. Real life is hell to say the least, but there are always brighter days. I might try jokingly replying to him in CS commands. "Affirmative"

When you say all of that about it becoming like his artificial world, jeez.. I don't know what I might do.. but I'm sure I would try to be smooth about it. It really could be time, to change the scene. I would download an outdated yet kinda still working hack, log on his steam account. Enter a VAC secured server activate the hack kill as many ppl as possible with the hack powers until the account is disabled. It's the perfect solution, don't let him know you did it. Deny it to the end of the world, hes gonna be mad as hell for a while might even go into true insanity for a while, just keep him away from dangerous shit. Don't give him the chance to get another account. And once hes finally calmed down, I'd take him out to the arcade. Play street fighter and watch a movie.
Take your boys and maybe a few girls along too. Michael might like it.. ease him into it. First he has to understand, CS is gone, and its not coming back. Just don't let him know you did it, you took it away. Just say, "I don't know what happened but it's good for you anyways. Cheer up bro, lets go eat out you feel like anything in particular, I got this spot where my boys go all the time, lets do it.. don't be wuss, soldier."

They'll get over it, but really, honestly, really honestly Justin sounds like Michael needs a lady in his life. Girls just have a way to bring us back to reality, LOL and then send us back into insanity as a better person (getting your heartbroken is tough tough). But that may be his road back to being normal and rational again. I strongly recommend you hook his ass up with a calm smart girl, try as hard as you can to do it.

And I can't believe that someone would buy a game for someone else. Ahhh, I find that kid and choke him out. That sob started this. This gifting a game to your bro isn't something I like to hear. If you forcefully but silently shut off his cs, he'll just end up begging until someone gives him another one. Jeez, this makes for one hell of a problem. Sounding more like a disorder than typical teenager puberty issues.

Still for some reason I just feel like deep down, CS is what appears on the outside but deep inside its something that's bothering him. Like there is a problem he doesn't want to talk about but never had a solution for.

If I was his brother, I would be wondering.. "Michael, do you have any dreams? Someone you want to become? Something you really wanna do?"
I just hope he has something in him he wants badly to ensure his happiness that doesn't involve CS.

For me, I just wanted to make my parents stop crying behind closed doors, ashamed of what and who their children had become. That there is a son of theirs that is the bright spot in their life. I work everyday so that one day, I can retire them off of my own income. That is my sole reason why I feel I must live on, I must continue to exist, and I must continue to step forward.

By the way, I forgot to mention.. your brother is actually literally insane as all teens are. But he maybe is a little more insane than others. If he has such a deep obsession for something, I sure wish it was guitar.. he'd probably be Jimi Hendrix by now (I mean it in a good way). Damnit, I wish I had a guitar when I was younger, guitar is cool and I can't believe he threw it away. If I did something like that, throwing away an expensive guitar, its like begging my mom to break it over my head.

If only he was in love with a girl right now, he'd be thinking about her everyday, trying to make her happy everyday, loving her with all his heart. CS would take second place in a second. If hes not socially approachable enough to get girlfriends now, I think it's time you start moving him in that direction. I don't know your sexual preference or anything but I'm gonna your straight and not a virgin. I'd be talking about sex to him and telling him about the girls I've been with. How it's the best thing in the world... (It's true, absolutely true Sex > Video Games) (Sex > Food) CS can't hold a candle to sweet pussy. You just gotta make him realize that. Maybe he'll just trying to get some ass. And eventually be completely normal again.

[SaintessHeart]

Originally Posted by Justin Kim

tl;dr

It seems that if he wants respect, he must be really lacking in the attention he really needs.

If you ask me about respect, I feel that it should not be given, but rather earned. But there are people who gain respect for their professionalism in a certain game or something, so you cannot debunk all respect gained online as false.

He just wants to be someone great in his own way. Get him to sign onto the USMC then motivate him to go through the SEALs training, if he wants satisfaction in THAT form. It is a better suggestion that letting him sit in front of the computer 24/7 right?

Or channel his energy towards a local cybergame competition. At least that kind of competition brings him closer to realism. If you want an alternative, take him out to a paintball game with your friends and his! This is something you MUST try before passing your next comment!

Spoiler for not related, very offensive, apologies in advance.:

Forgive me for being straightforward Spicy, but what makes you think that a girl is so easy to get? I am pretty irritated by people who give sweeping comments like "get yourself/you need a girlfriend", which is so common that I start throwing middle fingers in their direction. Answering the "what" without the "how" is the lousiest form of advice one can give, why doesn't ANYONE realise that? For that case I shall reiterate myself from RL,

"Wu lobang, intro. Buay lobang, diam diam." (If there is opportunity <a good girl> introduce. If there is none, keep quiet.)

From the beginning to the end, Justin, it seems that you want your brother back the way he is. I am not sure if you can, but people change over time, for the better or the worse, you can't tell until they hit the end of the road. The only thing we can do as their closest relation is to steer them in a direction that does not harm them or us or anyone around them (unless the person is a real asshole, then by all means, close an eye). Then we count our blessings for the sins they have not committed if we are not agreeing with what they do.

There is little we can do to change the world as it is once social darwinism takes root. All people are good, but are driven to evil by the circumstances which neither them nor us can control. The most we can do is fight such circumstances using the wits and spirit, then hope that we win. There is still hope for your brother in this case.

[chikorita157]

Originally Posted by Spicy~Noodles

Have you tried making him apart of your social life? If CS is what's important to him, you got to show him how much more cooler you are than CS. Real life is hell to say the least, but there are always brighter days. I might try jokingly replying to him in CS commands. "Affirmative"

When you say all of that about it becoming like his artificial world, jeez.. I don't know what I might do.. but I'm sure I would try to be smooth about it. It really could be time, to change the scene. I would download an outdated yet kinda still working hack, log on his steam account. Enter a VAC secured server activate the hack kill as many ppl as possible with the hack powers until the account is disabled. It's the perfect solution, don't let him know you did it. Deny it to the end of the world, hes gonna be mad as hell for a while might even go into true insanity for a while, just keep him away from dangerous shit. Don't give him the chance to get another account. And once hes finally calmed down, I'd take him out to the arcade. Play street fighter and watch a movie.
Take your boys and maybe a few girls along too. Michael might like it.. ease him into it. First he has to understand, CS is gone, and its not coming back. Just don't let him know you did it, you took it away. Just say, "I don't know what happened but it's good for you anyways. Cheer up bro, lets go eat out you feel like anything in particular, I got this spot where my boys go all the time, lets do it.. don't be wuss, soldier."

They'll get over it, but really, honestly, really honestly Justin sounds like Michael needs a lady in his life. Girls just have a way to bring us back to reality, LOL and then send us back into insanity as a better person (getting your heartbroken is tough tough). But that may be his road back to being normal and rational again. I strongly recommend you hook his ass up with a calm smart girl, try as hard as you can to do it.

And I can't believe that someone would buy a game for someone else. Ahhh, I find that kid and choke him out. That sob started this. This gifting a game to your bro isn't something I like to hear. If you forcefully but silently shut off his cs, he'll just end up begging until someone gives him another one. Jeez, this makes for one hell of a problem. Sounding more like a disorder than typical teenager puberty issues.

Still for some reason I just feel like deep down, CS is what appears on the outside but deep inside its something that's bothering him. Like there is a problem he doesn't want to talk about but never had a solution for.

If I was his brother, I would be wondering.. "Michael, do you have any dreams? Someone you want to become? Something you really wanna do?"
I just hope he has something in him he wants badly to ensure his happiness that doesn't involve CS.

For me, I just wanted to make my parents stop crying behind closed doors, ashamed of what and who their children had become. That there is a son of theirs that is the bright spot in their life. I work everyday so that one day, I can retire them off of my own income. That is my sole reason why I feel I must live on, I must continue to exist, and I must continue to step forward.

By the way, I forgot to mention.. your brother is actually literally insane as all teens are. But he maybe is a little more insane than others. If he has such a deep obsession for something, I sure wish it was guitar.. he'd probably be Jimi Hendrix by now (I mean it in a good way). Damnit, I wish I had a guitar when I was younger, guitar is cool and I can't believe he threw it away. If I did something like that, throwing away an expensive guitar, its like begging my mom to break it over my head.

If only he was in love with a girl right now, he'd be thinking about her everyday, trying to make her happy everyday, loving her with all his heart. CS would take second place in a second. If hes not socially approachable enough to get girlfriends now, I think it's time you start moving him in that direction. I don't know your sexual preference or anything but I'm gonna your straight and not a virgin. I'd be talking about sex to him and telling him about the girls I've been with. How it's the best thing in the world... (It's true, absolutely true Sex > Video Games) (Sex > Food) CS can't hold a candle to sweet pussy. You just gotta make him realize that. Maybe he'll just trying to get some ass. And eventually be completely normal again.

Dating is pointless during high school since girls in high school is mostly snotty and immature and I seriously doubt that a girlfriend would solve the problem... unless the girlfriend is into video games of course... It's always better to wait until college to find someone special (I have been there and I never been able to get a girl in high school nor I'm attempting to do so now since I have a very good GPA right now and I don't want it to drop.) Usually, girlfriends cause more trouble than not having one (again, it depends on the girl's personality).

The best is to try and get him away from the computer... but not tampering with the computer/internet connection/Valve Anti-cheat... If you can help him find friends that aren't addicted to CS, the more the better so he spends more time with his new friends opposed to his old friends.

[Spicy~Noodles]

Uh... LOL....

ok @Saintessheart: It's not girls are easy or anything to get, but that being exposed to them and if he plays his cards right, he'll land a good girl who can help him change his ways. I'm not saying having sex is the only answer but it's very pleasurable, enough to maybe make him focus more on getting more as opposed to playing CS compulsively. I'm not looking down on him really, I mean I was in a similar situation, lots of people thought I was crazy. My school counselors would often come and talk to me. Even some of my friends thought I was insane at one point. But you know after I met her in high school. This very polite, cute, smart, talented, caring, special girl, I went so far as to promise her I will always be a good guy. Even after we broke up four years later, I thanked her for all she had done for me and was sorry it couldn't work out the way we both wanted.

If he isn't even attempting to get a girlfriend, this could be another huge reason why hes taking CS to the next level. CS is his happiness, CS is his pleasure, CS is his world, everyone else is secondary. And that to me, that could end up a school shooter case, random mass murder. The more he is getting withdrawn from reality, the closer he is to making CS.... real life.

One time, in middle school I walked up to the board in science class. Because these people were talking shit. And I wrote on the board in big letters, "Just wait, I'm going to kill you." "Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die" the people in the science class called the police.

Girl's have a way to reverse the effect, and especially one that doesn't play video games. You must have very low opinions on girls in high school. Most of them I don't like in high school but that doesn't mean there aren't plenty of girls who could and would care for him and be his savior. It happened to me, (by the way, my older brother hooked me up.) and it worked. It was later that year that I became serious with school and changed many of my habits, activities, etc. And it was all because, I had someone to really love, and they loved me back.

I wouldn't resort to violence to solve the problem, because you know.. I had friends who had guns, my brother had guns, and if I needed one.. there was always one around the corner, a little cash and there were days all it took was a single punch or a single strike and I would have shot my entire family to death. That's how close I was to losing it all, mentally.

Are you telling me I'm stupid? You know that's really funny. Because that's what it sounds like. I'm being nice right now, if you want to debate this. I'm sure I can write 30 page papers on your comments. If you wanna start another thread with just me and you, we can find out who has the brains here. And all I'll do is go use my reference library at the school I'm Principal of, and just throw facts at you all day. How much do you really know how human development, sociology, psychology, or taking care of a sibling? What experiences have you had? Punch a mentally unstable guy like me in high school, and I'll put your lights out. I've seen so many people go into the marines, and come out even stupider than they were before. It's really not that good of an answer. I had a rough start, but out of my high school peers, I'm sure I stand in the rare group of very successful graduates.

professional cs players make pennies for their effort, i have some friends who are in cal-m, cal-p, cal-i and that's pretty hardcore, they don't earn much at all for all of their efforts. I wouldn't waste my time. Counter-Strike will eventually be replaced by other games and all that time you spent learning how to play that single game will all be wasted. You say I don't show people "how" but in fact I have and did. You need to re-read my first post, why, what, how... ITS ALL THERE BUDDY.

Having a good girlfriend > Marines

@chikorita157: I have a feeling if he can maintain his grades while devoting so much to CS, he can do the same and devote time with a girlfriend. As long as the girl isn't trying to abuse him it should be for the most part a rewarding experience. A lot of girls are dumb, like guys. But if he isn't even approaching them, how is he ever going to know? Someone has got to help him, someone he can relate to and truly cares about.

Sounds to me that your just making up excuses for why you haven't had a girlfriend yourself. I used to do the same thing. My girlfriend actually helped me with my college assignments, it's the same one I picked up in high school. So while you say that, girls are troublesome but have never had a girlfriend. I'm saying girls are beneficial and have had a few girlfriends in my life. Of course, if you like stupid girls, your going that result. If you choose a girl solely on how they look, the result may not be what you wanted. But if you paid attention to who the person is, hung out with them a lot, share common ground, bring different positive aspects to the table. It really can make a huge difference.

@Saintessheart
Getting a girlfriend isn't easy.............................................. .... at first.
But if you can get one, the rest is easy.
I used to get mad too when people would tell me, "Get a life David.." or "You should get a girlfriend." The funny thing is, they were right. And that's the simple truth. Don't get mad at me for telling him what I've seen work for myself.

[SaintessHeart]

Originally Posted by Spicy~Noodles

@Saintessheart
Getting a girlfriend isn't easy.............................................. .... at first.
But if you can get one, the rest is easy.
I used to get mad too when people would tell me, "Get a life David.." or "You should get a girlfriend." The funny thing is, they were right. And that's the simple truth. Don't get mad at me for telling him what I've seen work for myself.

The problem is, HOW? I gave up getting a girlfriend after high school because it is so pointless going into a relationship, compared being able to go home straight or where-ever you want with whoever without having to pander to a certain girl's jealousy. Besides most of the girls in my school, or out there are so whimsical, always wanting the attention and respect without working for it.

You probably haven't tried another alternative that worked too then went for a regular solution.

"Get a life" is clearly one of the dumbest statements ever made. Each person has a right to live his/her life in whatever way they want, provided they do not impede on another person rights to live (like washington sniping, mass murder/rape or prankstering). Besides, what right do we have to control another person's life? If we do, we would be infringing on the Convention Of Human Rights set in 1979 (if I am not wrong).

It would depend on his brother's liking, whether he wants to settle down or go out there and have a thrill, to either he picks the Marines or a girlfriend. Hopes he has enough brains left from playing CS 24/7 to make a worthwhile judgement.

P.S Maybe my kind of girl is those kind of purple-haired tsundere or her moekko sister that makes it so hard to find. But then again, being a bachelor or single is not that bad after all considering all finances of yours are at your own disposal.

[yezhanquan]

I seriously don't get the "Get a life" hoo-ha. There's certainly no big deal with having or not having a girlfriend.

[-KarumA-]

I agree, it can make a difference but at the same time I think having a girlfriend would be more his own choice and not one made by your family because they believe it will set you straight. Why I say this, because for one it isn't easy to just "get" a good girlfriend, two you don't know what he'll think of this plan cause he might still not participate or think it is a waste of time, when he's muttering CS commands out in the park while staring at the sky I don't really think the flirting message would get through to him lol and lastly poor girl :< if he does end up ditching her for CS then as a gf I'd feel really bad lol

best choice get him an after school everyday job (or send him to bootcamp)

[windstar!~]

It's just a phase and there's hardly anything you can do to make him stop playing that stupid game at this point. He'll most likely get bored of it soon enough. I'd say you should let the case rest for a bit and see if the time spent on his computer decreases, if nothing helps (I presume you already talked to your parents at this point) you could either just give it up and consider it as his own problem which'll make him lose his friends or just force him to quit by changing his password and email, that might result in rage and hate though.

[Narona]

Originally Posted by yezhanquan

I seriously don't get the "Get a life" hoo-ha. There's certainly no big deal with having or not having a girlfriend.

It made me smile. It's true that there are many easy girls out there (at least here in france) but I wish for him to not end up trying to pick up a girl like me based on Spicy's advices.

Looking for a GF mainly for sexual pleasure, and to become a good man (meaning that he's not good at the start) + because being a virgin seems to be a torture (for a man at least. Poor Lelouch.) + possibly till switching to another girl once the fun lasts = Perfect combo and personnality to be rejected and sent to die by me like a rag /excuse me for the sarcasms

I absolutely don't say that as if I was an example to follow, nor as if I was proud of that, but i am still a virgin, never had a BF, and I don't have any discipline problem or sociability problem. Nor that i feel like not having a life. (now maybe it's different for boys. Again, poor lelouch ) So I don't think his lack of GF is the big deal.

As Karuma said it, it might help him if he gets one, but imo right now his problem is not to get a GF or not (why forcing that kind of things on him btw? Being hasty is one of the best ways to end up doing the most idiotic and pathetic things. He is so young... It's not as if his penis will begin to rot if he doesn't get a GF right now, nor that he will actually stop CS) . If he is a brat with his family, there are good chances that he will act like a brat with his GF if he gets one.

What he needs is discipline and to talk with his parents. That's not the role of his brother to educate him (nor the role of his future GF, or I actually do feel sorry for the poor girl). However that doesn't excuse some of his reactions towards Justin Kim (he is lucky to not have me as his sister because I would have beaten him to death so bad that he would have not been able to play CS for days). Maybe some people will disagree, but imo what he needs is some slaps by his parents, and of course, to have a serious discussion with them.

Hwever, that particular line gives me the feeling that his parents are also at fault:

"my parents do not help at all. They have been continuously buying him these gaming accessories for him, everytime he asks."

They seem to be too relaxed with him

[SaintessHeart]

I thought having a female coming into this thread to give advice is going to go along the lines of something like "what is with men and guns?". Thank goodness you aren't like that.

Originally Posted by Narona

Hwever, that particular line gives me the feeling that his parents are also at fault:

"my parents do not help at all. They have been continuously buying him these gaming accessories for him, everytime he asks."

They seem to be too relaxed with him

Basically, what every parent would like to see is their child to be happy despite all circumstances. I believe his parents are at their wits end on how to deal with this situation, hence the situation.

Trust me, mine are like that, or should I say, they have been taking regular trips to the principal office throughout my middle school that when they went to my first year's high school's Meet-The-Parents session, the first line uttered was by my dad, "What is it this time? Don't you teachers have nothing better to do?" and "Give me my son's report card. Just call the police for anything else.".

They did nothing to convince me to stay out of trouble or study hard, just let me play computer games all day long. Hence the reason why I didn't make it into university.

Take him out for a paintball match, followed by an outing of sorts (movie, arcades, voyeuring), then post the Hijackthis log results back here (whether he is interested or not, a general review).

Originally Posted by Narona

Looking for a GF mainly for sexual pleasure, and to become a good man (meaning that he's not good at the start) + because being a virgin seems to be a torture (for a man at least. Poor Lelouch.) + possibly till switching to another girl once the fun lasts = Perfect combo and personnality to be rejected and sent to die by me like a rag /excuse me for the sarcasms

OT : If any of you are single, ask this girl out. Tsunderes make the best girlfriends, all you need to do is to buy good insurance.

I have this belief that females are sex objects. If you own one (girlfriend/partner/fiancee/wife), it is a responsibility to take good care of it. Not just the material care, but the emotional care too because it is a living object. Good things last forever if taken good care of.

Depends on whether if you perceive the responsibility as worth it or not. For me right now, it isn't. I still have 10 years of youth left to run out.

[Spicy~Noodles]

LoL I suggest helping him getting a girlfriend, I never said force.. if you look at EVERYTHING I've said, I take into consideration the fragile state of mind the guy is in. Whats the problem with helping him along by providing him with a couple more extra opportunities? I'm just clearly saying, a girlfriend would do him good. Gently give him a couple more opportunities, it's not even a painful/embarrassing process. If he doesn't like any of the girls, he will simply not try to date them. Nothing is being chosen by us, hes choosing.. we are just giving him extra opportunities. By the time he gets his first girlfriend, its like he climbed over the big mountain, everything else are just hills.

Is anyone reading what I've said? This is like... 1 of 10 things I said.

Girlfriends are not just, sexual objects... although they give great sex.. they're AWESOME counselors. And have a way of calming the raging mind with a simple smile or hug. They'll listen to everything you say and they will help you find solutions. I love women, I would never want to be without one.

"I would never throw away my goddess of victory."

More important than a girlfriend or anything else, is just being a good brother to him. Devoting your time to him, making sure hes having a great time. Invite him to join in your activities. If you are planning to go camping with friends, send him along.. that type of thing. While hes relaxed and having fun with you, that's when you get your shot to learn out the things that run deeper in his mind. My first post on this thread pretty much sums it all up.

[SaintessHeart]

Originally Posted by Spicy~Noodles

LoL I suggest helping him getting a girlfriend, I never said force.. if you look at EVERYTHING I've said, I take into consideration the fragile state of mind the guy is in. Whats the problem with helping him along by providing him with a couple more extra opportunities? I'm just clearly saying, a girlfriend would do him good. Gently give him a couple more opportunities, it's not even a painful/embarrassing process. If he doesn't like any of the girls, he will simply not try to date them. Nothing is being chosen by us, hes choosing.. we are just giving him extra opportunities. By the time he gets his first girlfriend, its like he climbed over the big mountain, everything else are just hills.

Is anyone reading what I've said? This is like... 1 of 10 things I said.

I was. I read through the entire post with my epic speed-reading skills (a disability actually, by just identifying vocabulary and summarising them, a reason why my grammar seriously sucks. I get lost reading long sentences due to a neural fault), and found that it can be summarised into one point :

Getting a girlfriend would change everything.

Everything else is a long life story.

Your post is too long, and a large part of it is irrelevant, or the points you want to make are not fleshed out AT ALL.

There is always a higher mountain somewhere else, or somewhere more difficult to climb. Don't you know that the Ares Rock is harder to climb than Everest despite their significant height differences? And if you have been in the army, fighting in the mountains is the most FUBAR tactic to be employed by the generals, from a soldier's POV.

What we are saying here is that having a girlfriend wouldn't be as practical of a solution, it is just another person to his life. And what makes you think that any regular girl would be interested in someone like him? An influence has to be strong enough to make him change, and the girl would be like another, person in his life? Almost a zero impact. His focus is all on CS now, main priority is to SHIFT his focus away from that first.

Unless that girl has got no life of her own to live, she wouldn't spend time to try and change him so she can like him.

Also, it isn't fair to the girls if you are going to introduce them to someone so belligerent. Have some thought for the other side too.

The only female that will give you good advice is your mother IMO. The rest, only on rare occasions when it comes to interpersonal relationships with other women.

Pardon me for my offense, but I think I should just send tact on its way to hell when it comes to arguments like this.

[windstar!~]

What's with all you people suggesting to force a girlfriend on him?!

[Xacual]

Warning: Might not exactly be relevant to advice for your brother's problem but...

I see a lot of similarities to my high school days to your brother, except I don't think I was quite as violent. I was and still am at this point very, very much so an introvert. Now I've taken classes at the college level now and I know that being an introvert isn't a bad thing, it simply means that where other people find partying or hanging out with people relaxing, you find being by yourself relaxing. My cousin sounds a lot like you, he has been trying for years to force me to go to parties or other social occasions with him and his friends. I have even gone to some, but I almost always leave early because after an hour or so I can't stand it, it just gives me a headache.

My parents even at one point thought I was addicted hopelessly to video games and got me to go counseling. The counselor didn't think I was addicted at all, after meeting with him for a while, he decided that I was just pursuing hobbies like anyone else. He did agree with me though that I needed to decide on my future plan which at that point being in high school I still wasn't sure what I wanted to do in college. Hell after being in college for a year or two, I'm debating whether or not to change my major.

I guess I just felt like putting my story in here because as someone who was accused and still is accused of being socially inept among other things people have mentioned in this thread, I think maybe some people overreact too much to what might look like an addiction. (not saying your brother might not be addicted though)

[SaintessHeart]

Originally Posted by windstar!~

What's with all you people suggesting to force a girlfriend on him?!

It is not force. It is a suggestion to introduce him a girl and hoping that he would make her his girlfriend.

Spicy fired off an MLRS, it hit me, I fired one back at him, and it hit everyone else, and everyone thought it was Spicy who fired that. Rest of the argument just went to hell.

[Narona]

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

I thought having a female coming into this thread to give advice is going to go along the lines of something like "what is with men and guns?". Thank goodness you aren't like that.

Men and guns? About CS? I don't think the genre of games is the problem here. It would be the same problem if he was addicted that much to Mario Galaxy and wanted to make his da homemade Mario dungarees.

Basically, what every parent would like to see is their child to be happy despite all circumstances. I believe his parents are at their wits end on how to deal with this situation, hence the situation.

Trust me, mine are like that, or should I say, they have been taking regular trips to the principal office throughout my middle school that when they went to my first year's high school's Meet-The-Parents session, the first line uttered was by my dad, "What is it this time? Don't you teachers have nothing better to do?" and "Give me my son's report card. Just call the police for anything else.".

They did nothing to convince me to stay out of trouble or study hard, just let me play computer games all day long. Hence the reason why I didn't make it into university.

Take him out for a paintball match, followed by an outing of sorts (movie, arcades, voyeuring), then post the Hijackthis log results back here (whether he is interested or not, a general review).

I am sorry to read that. However, if I was in the same case, I would have not do that to you, even if you were a little devil. I consider that when you decide to have a children, you bear that responsibility forever. I would have not tried to lie and such if you had got arrested by the police. But I would have seriously wondered what I did wrong.

I know it's easy to say because I am not a mother myself, but I know, I feel that if it happens (if I have a child someday), I will try to help him, and try again, and again, everyday.

OT : If any of you are single, ask this girl out. Tsunderes make the best girlfriends, all you need to do is to buy good insurance.

I don't know if I should take that as a compliment, but it was funny.

I have this belief that females are sex objects. If you own one (girlfriend/partner/fiancee/wife), it is a responsibility to take good care of it. Not just the material care, but the emotional care too because it is a living object. Good things last forever if taken good care of.

Depends on whether if you perceive the responsibility as worth it or not. For me right now, it isn't. I still have 10 years of youth left to run out.

You have used a very, very bad way to explain a part of the prince charming syndrome

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

Also, it isn't fair to the girls if you are going to introduce them to someone so belligerent. Have some thought for the other side too.

I agree with you (yes it can happen o_o)

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

It is not force. It is a suggestion to introduce him a girl and hoping that he would make her his girlfriend.

Spicy fired off an MLRS, it hit me, I fired one back at him, and it hit everyone else, and everyone thought it was Spicy who fired that. Rest of the argument just went to hell.

Don't take all the responsibility on yourself. I read Spicy's posts. And beside the fact that I dislike how he feels the need to associate the words "girls" and "sex" in his posts (what I would really, really dislike, is to end up with a guy who sees me as a mean to have (great) sex before everything else). I know what I read:

If he doesn't have a girlfriend, don't let him stay virgin.. gosh in this day and age its sheer torture to live without a girlfriend. Another reason why I started to change and become more of a man, a good man was because I had girlfriends who loved the hell out of me literally. They loved me so much, that the hell boy inside of my started to vanish. My advice hook him up if he doesn't have a girlfriend. Send plenty of girls along his path hes bound to latch on to one of them. If hes a wussie, instruct like a big brother/big sister should. Show him the moves, encourage him.

To me, all of that feels forced. It reminds me some people in highschool "oh my god you're still single (dramatic expression as if it was the end of the world), don't worry, we will do everything to change that (I never asked anything). Hey the two girls there, yeah you. You do have to help this poor girl to meet men and blablabla".

And it's the softcore version, I don't even talk about the girls that some of those people bring to parties and make them drink alcohol etc. to "loosen them up a bit".

To me who didn't ask anything nor complained about my love status, it felt forced. I hated that.

I rejected the offer and sent all those people to die, and I don't regret anything.