Dating

[DonQuigleone]

Originally Posted by Mystique

It depends on the girl, but sometimes, if a guy remains cool and not too 'cushy', he can use that restaurant invite as a 'date' in a few weeks when things have chilled and both are getting on with life, etc etc.

Just an alternative, only WP can figure out the situation the best since we're all behind comps

If she likes you, and you like her, why wait around and play games? Just get to business! Obviously you don't want to come on too strong or anything(would be creepy...), but if she's giving you all the signals there's really no reason to hold back.

[whitepearl]

This Friday, I hope she and I will be going to that Thai restaurant she had told me about when we hung out.

Don, there may be some signals but they're still rather subtle and faint, it seems. She hasn't been flooding my inbox with comments professing her deep love; at least this means she isn't needy and clingy!

[DonQuigleone]

Originally Posted by whitepearl

This Friday, I hope she and I will be going to that Thai restaurant she had told me about when we hung out.

Don, there may be some signals but they're still rather subtle and faint, it seems. She hasn't been flooding my inbox with comments professing her deep love; at least this means she isn't needy and clingy!

My point is, if this was a guy, and you met up with him once and thought he was great friendship material, you'd just be arranging to meet him ASAP.

Why do differently with women? Just go for it.

[Mystique]

Originally Posted by DonQuigleone

My point is, if this was a guy, and you met up with him once and thought he was great friendship material, you'd just be arranging to meet him ASAP.

Why do differently with women? Just go for it.

Have you NOT been paying attention to a damn thing?
1: WP doesn't need to be 'friends' with her, if that were the case, he wouldn't bother posting on here
2: We're female.
3: Depending on the girl, as I said, none of us know her cept for WP, being straight and frank (especially in a guy way) can make them panic, say 'no' to being more than friends even if there are feelings and we can think too much and panic
4: We're female.

If it were so easy between guys and girls, this thread wouldn't exist, there'd be no need for it.

I'm not one for games either, letting her know the deal and then handling that piece of knowledge for a while usually depends on how it's delivered to her, how a guy says it. For that, you'd have to know her personality.

For now, enjoy the meal on Friday, if WP wants to hint at something more, that's fine but please do not think 'hey for guys or friends, we just approach asap! Lemme be the exact same for a gal I wanna date!' x.x

[Cyanoctopus]

Just keep asking her out on dates semi-regularly and if she likes you she'll let you know.

[DonQuigleone]

Originally Posted by Mystique

Have you NOT been paying attention to a damn thing?
1: WP doesn't need to be 'friends' with her, if that were the case, he wouldn't bother posting on here
2: We're female.
3: Depending on the girl, as I said, none of us know her cept for WP, being straight and frank (especially in a guy way) can make them panic, say 'no' to being more than friends even if there are feelings and we can think too much and panic
4: We're female.

@1: A romantic relationship requires friendship
@2+4: Guys and Gals aren't so different. We all get nervous talking to someone we fancy etc.
@3: I'm not saying he should come straight out and say "You're the love of my life! I want to be with you forever!" Just to say "Hey, I'm free this friday, and I'd hate to be spending it bored and alone... Want to eat at that nice restauraunt you mentioned?"

With a guy friend it's similiar, you don't say "I think you're a really great guy to be around, I hope we can spend loads of time together", no you just say "hey it was nice hanging around with you, I'm free for lunch tomorrow and I know this great place downtown, wanna come with?". And they'll either say "sure!", or they'll say "sorry I'm busy, thursday would be better for me" or they'll say "No, get away from me you creep!" (I get the third one a lot...)

If it were so easy between guys and girls, this thread wouldn't exist, there'd be no need for it.

Not claiming to be the love guru, I have a pretty terrible (IE non-existent) romantic record. But from my own experience, a lot of us just overthink things. You should just keep things simple and casual. Be open and friendly, don't come on too hard, and if you want to meet up with them, meet up with them. They might say no, or they might say yes. If they said no, they probably weren't really interested in you anyway. Most of us will say yes if it doesn't feel like some huge deal. We all like meeting new people and making new friends (or girl/boyfriends as the case may be).

I'm not one for games either, letting her know the deal and then handling that piece of knowledge for a while usually depends on how it's delivered to her, how a guy says it. For that, you'd have to know her personality.

For now, enjoy the meal on Friday, if WP wants to hint at something more, that's fine but please do not think 'hey for guys or friends, we just approach asap! Lemme be the exact same for a gal I wanna date!' x.x

Too many people think dates are such a big deal, they really shouldn't be considered as such. They're simply a way for both parties to figure out how much they like each other. In that sense they should be approached with a reasonably casual attitude. Obviously you should try and look your best and whatnot, but the important thing is just to meet up and chat.

You need to have a relationship before you have a romantic relationship, is what I'm saying. It's my view, that in the opening stages, you should approach potential dates just as you would potential friends. The key difference is that with dates you should make it a priority to try and get 1 on 1 time. Other then that, not a huge difference.

I'm more coming from the perspective of what has kept me from ever having the balls to get a girlfriend, I always made too big a deal out of it, when I should have just talked to her. Girls are people too! When you go at it with that attitude, it all becomes a lot easier.

[whitepearl]

I knew already that she was moving to a place in the city but forgot she was doing that move this week before she flies out. She told me we could go to that restaurant when she comes back in about a week.

I think Girl #1 is out of the picture now...cementing that it was a friendzowning...

[Miko Miko]

Question;

How long do you consider being with someone 'long enough to fall in love with them'?

I know I love my boyfriend, we knew eachother before we got together and we've always connected. We've been through so much and still come out stronger than ever. We've only been together 9 months, some people say 'it's not long enough to be in love'

ALSO

My friend has been with her boyfriend 2 months, and she says she's in love, but she didn't know him beforehand, they got together almost right away upon meeting.

I know it's not 100% relevant but I want an opinion.

[Cyanoctopus]

It's really sort of a relative thing.
My parents got married about 4 weeks after meeting.

[DonQuigleone]

Yeah, really depends.

The key thing is whether you're loving them for the right reasons. You have to make sure you've gone beyond the stage of loving a "rose tinted" version of someone.

That said, it's perfectly possible to fall in love "at first sight". A lot of people would call that simple infatuation though. There's a bit of a fuzzy line between the two, where does one end, and the other begin?

[whitepearl]

It really depends. Those who have replied nailed it. You need to make sure they are the right reasons.

That definition of "love" will change over time.

[Puddingman]

That definition of "love" will change over time

Yea yea, you can't force that kind of thing. No one should be sweating girls, it's not healthy

[solomon]

Originally Posted by Mystique

Have you NOT been paying attention to a damn thing?
1: WP doesn't need to be 'friends' with her, if that were the case, he wouldn't bother posting on here
2: We're female.
3: Depending on the girl, as I said, none of us know her cept for WP, being straight and frank (especially in a guy way) can make them panic, say 'no' to being more than friends even if there are feelings and we can think too much and panic
4: We're female.

If it were so easy between guys and girls, this thread wouldn't exist, there'd be no need for it.

I'm not one for games either, letting her know the deal and then handling that piece of knowledge for a while usually depends on how it's delivered to her, how a guy says it. For that, you'd have to know her personality.

For now, enjoy the meal on Friday, if WP wants to hint at something more, that's fine but please do not think 'hey for guys or friends, we just approach asap! Lemme be the exact same for a gal I wanna date!' x.x

So then what DO you people want anyways?

[JC...]

Originally Posted by Miko Miko

Question;

How long do you consider being with someone 'long enough to fall in love with them'?

I know I love my boyfriend, we knew eachother before we got together and we've always connected. We've been through so much and still come out stronger than ever. We've only been together 9 months, some people say 'it's not long enough to be in love'

ALSO

My friend has been with her boyfriend 2 months, and she says she's in love, but she didn't know him beforehand, they got together almost right away upon meeting.

I know it's not 100% relevant but I want an opinion.

I don't think love comes from being together for a certain amount of time, in fact nobody can define love, it's up to you to decide.

Stop listening to those other people because they clearly have a wrong concept of love, if what you say is true then you should get married when you two feel it's right, not other people.

That said, still think it through.

[Mystique]

Originally Posted by solomon

So then what DO you people want anyways?

Roses and chocolates and diamonds please!

As for reality?
Self confidence.

Don is right with the panicking and not having the balls to grab the girl he wanted or just communicate simply, that falls under lack of confidence, but again, a guy can ask a girl out for 1-1s and it seems amazing and she still friendzones him xD

It depends on the female, truly. Which is why I don't like giving much advice from the 'what should I do with this person I wanna get with' requests cause we know jack all behind the screens of our own rooms.
But being straight up front, as Don said will get the 'get away from me!' or 'he came on too strongly, I wasn't ready!' xD
(Short of that being a guys approach to women at first meet, which will get him turned away or turned on and invited )

We panic, but if a guy seems interesting, charming, someone we wanna get to know more, after thinking for a while, we kinda come around and give the guy a chance.

Also actually, WP, mind telling us how old you both are, cause I have noticed that around 23+ onwards, people are far more settled with themselves and life in general and all being well, less games are played and better new relationships are made

PS:
You know it's love when your daily life and actions take into consideration the feelings of your partner. It's no longer a 'I'm doing this for me' but 'I'm doing this for me but also taking into account how xxx would feel'.
The commitment of hanging about through thick or thin kinda gives you an idea

[whitepearl]

Mystique:

We're both 25. Girl #1 and 2 are also 25. I would much prefer to find a long-lasting relationship and not just a fling; I don't know if the two girls have similar ideas.

[synaesthetic]

Originally Posted by solomon

So then what DO you people want anyways?

Money.

That's what I want.

[ttdestroy]

Originally Posted by whitepearl

I would much prefer to find a long-lasting relationship and not just a fling.

Wow that is extremely mature, I believe at 25 you shouldn't be about just tapping whatever has two legs and a heartbeat. I wish my friends were that mature. Anyway, you can get out of the FZ, but since you're already there why not take the opportunity to focus your attention.

[DonQuigleone]

Hey, I was like that at 16.

I think it's not so uncommon...

[SaintessHeart]

Originally Posted by synaesthetic

Money.

That's what I want.

Gold digger.

But it is quite understandable. I wouldn't want to marry a poor guy or a splurge.