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Old 2011-07-09, 07:39   Link #9301
DonQuigleone
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Dublin, Ireland
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I once went to a college speed dating thing (which was a bit messed up as there were only 6 of us, and we spent at least 30 min-1 hour with a single person...) and I ended out talking to this french girl and it was the most awkward hour I've ever spent with a girl. She was completely frigid! I tried telling jokes but she didn't laugh at all (not even faux laughing!), I tried agonisingly to make any kind of conversation possible, but it was like talking to a brick wall! I'd ask something, she's make a short response, but she wouldn't make any effort to continue at all!

Awful awful experience. When you go speed dating, make sure it's run properly, so you don't end out spending an hour trying to talk to the abyss.
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Old 2011-07-09, 09:47   Link #9302
ttdestroy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DonQuigleone View Post
I once went to a college speed dating thing (which was a bit messed up as there were only 6 of us, and we spent at least 30 min-1 hour with a single person...) and I ended out talking to this french girl and it was the most awkward hour I've ever spent with a girl. She was completely frigid! I tried telling jokes but she didn't laugh at all (not even faux laughing!), I tried agonisingly to make any kind of conversation possible, but it was like talking to a brick wall! I'd ask something, she's make a short response, but she wouldn't make any effort to continue at all!

Awful awful experience. When you go speed dating, make sure it's run properly, so you don't end out spending an hour trying to talk to the abyss.
Oh God, I've had that happen to me before, that's such an ego killer. I was on a hot streak and I hit that wall of a completely unresponsive date, and I couldn't get a date for months. If I learned one thing outta that whole experience that karma is a cold, hard female dog.
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Last edited by ttdestroy; 2011-07-09 at 09:48. Reason: Clarity
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Old 2011-07-09, 13:38   Link #9303
RadiantBeam
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I never really understood the whole point of speed dating, myself...
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Old 2011-07-09, 14:30   Link #9304
GDB
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You also have guys throwing themselves at you. That might have something to do with it.
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Old 2011-07-09, 19:53   Link #9305
DonQuigleone
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
I never really understood the whole point of speed dating, myself...
Well, as a quick means to find a date, I think it works pretty well. It beats online dating by a long shot. At least you're not communicating with them for a few months, only to find out when you meet them in person that they're not the 22 year old slim beauty you thought they were, but a 40 year old overweight divorcée.

You can actually tell a fair amount about a person in 5 minutes. But make sure if you do go to one, that there's a decent amount of people. I'd say you can get along with 1/6-1/3 of all the people you meet speed dating, so you should be able to come out of a night with 20 people with 3-6 potential dates. Pretty good I think.

But it really is unpleasant having to talk to wall like that... Luckily in real speed dating you'll never have to do it for much longer then 5 minutes!
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Old 2011-07-09, 21:40   Link #9306
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GDB View Post
You also have guys throwing themselves at you. That might have something to do with it.
Not recently, I haven't. And it's not like I want them to be throwing themselves at me in the first place.
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Old 2011-07-09, 22:19   Link #9307
GDB
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I'm merely saying that you wouldn't likely see the point of something like speed dating if you don't really have any trouble getting dates or having people become interested in you/give you the time of day. Not all of us are that lucky/cursed (depending on one's point of view).
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Old 2011-07-09, 22:46   Link #9308
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The next guy who goes after me, I'll send him your way instead if that helps.
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Old 2011-07-09, 22:59   Link #9309
lightsenshi
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Just remember, duck tape always helps. ^_^
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Old 2011-07-09, 23:00   Link #9310
GDB
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Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
The next guy who goes after me, I'll send him your way instead if that helps.
Oh, you.
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Old 2011-07-09, 23:58   Link #9311
Endless Soul
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Originally Posted by lightsenshi View Post
Just remember, duck tape always helps. ^_^
Duck tape?

Spoiler for Duck Tape:
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Old 2011-07-10, 02:01   Link #9312
Kafriel
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Yeah, duct tape :P Speed dating, huh...only heard of it, but I highly doubt you can take genuine interest in someone you only just met in a fixed environment.
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Old 2011-07-10, 05:35   Link #9313
DonQuigleone
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kafriel View Post
Yeah, duct tape :P Speed dating, huh...only heard of it, but I highly doubt you can take genuine interest in someone you only just met in a fixed environment.
I think the key thing is that it's like a blind date, but not quite so blind, as you get to meet them for 5 minutes before hand (IE the real meat is in the actual real date you have afterwards). How many times have you met up with a person and known in less then 5 minutes "this person is not for me"? I know it's happened to me quite a lot.

Obviously it would be great to meet people casually at parties or whatever, but for a lot of us that's very difficult. For instance, all my friends are pretty much guys, and all my friend's friends are ... guys as well! When I go to a party the room is pretty much 80% guys (and a lot of the girls are girlfriends). I haven't dated once in my entire life (embarrassing as it is...), and it's largely due to the fact that I rarely talk to women at all in my day to day to life.

Given my circumstances there are only a few choices ahead of me:

1. Internet dating, I explained it's downsides in an earlier post
2. Blind dating, I explained how speed dating is similiar but superior above
3. Asking random girls out on the street (embarrassing )
4. Hoping I meet girls in a future workplace (I didn't get anywhere hoping to meet girls in college...)
5. Speed dating
6. Pay a girl to pretend to be a girlfriend (NO!)
7. Abduct a girl off the street and "train" her to be my girlfriend, rape=love! (This isn't some kind of sick h-game!)
7. Join a monastery (not going to get me a date, but I get enlightenment?)

As a format it's quite versatile, they even do speed dating for other things, like business networking.

Last edited by DonQuigleone; 2011-07-10 at 05:48.
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Old 2011-07-12, 19:39   Link #9314
whitepearl
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Question(s) relating to males trying to court/get the interest of a girl:

Is there an easy way to discern if a girl is playing hard-to-get versus being just uninterested?

And mixed signals...I dunno if this should be considered as part of a girl playing hard-to-get or just a girl whose actions make someone (me) confused.

(Mixed signals in this case refer to someone who, I initially didn't keep in touch with as we were acquaintances. We started to talk again and for a week were talking every day. She no longer talks to me daily via IM or texting yet still keeps in touch with me via Facebook, Twitter and Google+ [added me yesterday])

I don't know whether to give up on certain girls and go for someone new, or try to rekindle something.
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Old 2011-07-13, 11:42   Link #9315
blissfullyunaware
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Quote:
Originally Posted by whitepearl View Post
Question(s) relating to males trying to court/get the interest of a girl:

Is there an easy way to discern if a girl is playing hard-to-get versus being just uninterested?
.

I think the bigger question is would you really be interested in someone who is into playing pointless games? Sorry, but I never really understood "playing hard to get". Head games were never really my thing. If it were me, I would cut my losses and move on.
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Old 2011-07-13, 13:40   Link #9316
synaesthetic
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blissfullyunaware View Post
I think the bigger question is would you really be interested in someone who is into playing pointless games? Sorry, but I never really understood "playing hard to get". Head games were never really my thing. If it were me, I would cut my losses and move on.
"Playing pointless games" is how most men see it. The thing is, nobody is going to bluntly walk up to you and say, "let's go out." There will always be a dance, the courtship dance, the dating, saying the right things, negotiating the correct way.

There is a reason for this. When starting a romantic relationship, people usually want to make sure the person they're dating is serious. They don't want to be fooling around with someone who will fuck them, emotionally suck them dry, and discard them.

A good friend of mine has spent eight years angsting over an ex of hers that was essentially a psychic vampire. Countless friends have instructed her to stop freaking out about it, but it wasn't until recently that she figured out what was actually going on.

"Playing hard to get" is a woman's application process, to put it in a technical metaphor. They're trying to make sure you're not just dicking them around. They want to make sure the relationship will be equal, that you are as interested in them as they are in you.

You can't just automatically trust someone with that much power, which is why people who "wear their hearts on their sleeves" end up hurt so often. They're natural targets of emotional predators and d-bags.
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Old 2011-07-13, 13:50   Link #9317
blissfullyunaware
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Really?! I must have seriously lucked out then. The few times I was actually looking for a serious relationship DID consist of one of us simply asking out the other person. In fact, my husband didn't even bother asking, he just leaned over and kissed me while we were arguing. We have been married for nearly 6 yrs.

Inb4 he kissed you just to shut you up.
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Old 2011-07-13, 13:54   Link #9318
synaesthetic
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blissfullyunaware View Post
Really?! I must have seriously lucked out then. The few times I was actually looking for a serious relationship DID consist of one of us simply asking out the other person. In fact, my husband didn't even bother asking, he just leaned over and kissed me while we were arguing. We have been married for nearly 6 yrs.

Inb4 he kissed you just to shut you up.
That's very rare, and you did get lucky.

he totally kissed you to shut you up...

*shot*

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Old 2011-07-13, 15:13   Link #9319
DonQuigleone
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RE: Hard to get

There's a very obvious solution to this problem. If she is playing games with you, then you start playing games with her!!! Two can play at that game.

(though another interesting way to interpret that sentence is to bring her to your house for a play "date" and start playing Pokémon with her... "I haven't played it since I was 10! This is stupid!" "What? I've been playing every game released for the past 10 years! I've caught every single Pokémon! 4 times!" "Uh, I guess that shows you're hardworking but...")

The above is not based on personal experience...
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Old 2011-07-13, 15:19   Link #9320
Kiyomizu
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I actually just started going out with a very sweet girl. We had been dating for two months, but we made things official yesterday.
She loves anime and video games too. I really lucked out.
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