Nanoha FanFiction Discussion

[spawnofthejudge]

Originally Posted by Shigan

No Explanation will Be Good Enough

*giggles incoherently* Awesomeness.

Originally Posted by deathcurse

EDIT: Totally canon!!!! XDDDD Where do you think it'll go in the Chronology? Before "Things We Tame", or after?? XD

I'd suggest as late as possible, since the more comfortable they all are with the situation and each other, the easier it is to imagine that they all collapse in helpless laughter after the end of the narrative.

Alternatively, as early as possible to make a side-fic of Nanoha and Fate's elaborate punishment for Hayate (and more serious one for Vivio).

And yes. I exist. I'm just dead tired from my vacation away from internet. I hope to have edited chapters soon to show for it, though.

[Shigan]

Originally Posted by shiroi mahotsukai

That is priceless, there's nothing better for ruining a good time than something exploding... believe me, I know. Non romantic example and my bed didn't so much explode as splinter and collapse but the point stands.

And that folks is why you should always do dangerous research into your girlfriends possesions in your designated sleeping rooms... less possibility for bad things to happen that way.

*nodnod* Explosions or just the bed falling apart is pretty damn unsexy. Of course, you could see it as an accomplishment afterwards but still...

[deathcurse]

Originally Posted by Shigan

I have no idea of how the saint's armor works ^^;, or even what it is. Anyone?

She has a good motivation for being sneaky here. =D Imagine you having this beautiful, hot girlfriend 13 years younger than you upstairs in bed and what do you do? Stay on the coach? Bwah! The Yagami is no fool.

I simply felt that I had to do -something- after you made Hayate commit suicide xD. The forces of the universe must be kept in balance.

(Extra comments after re-reading the fic again: I also liked how you had Fate scanning the room for threats while Nanoha scanned for her daughter. Not to say that Fate loves Vivio less, but she understands the priorities of a situation just because of her experience . It's a nice bit of characterization for both of them.)

The Saint's Armour, by my understanding, is a natural shield that Vivio can form around herself when she gets attacked? She apparently lost this ability after StrikerS, but it could be interesting to have in the Files. I don't know enough about it though, to really judge on how to use it properly and such . Dezo did a good job of explaining a version of it in his MagicalLibrarian!Vivio story... How I see it possibly coming in this fic is that Vivio wouldn't need a pre-set shield spell (I noted that Hayate had given that necklace to her, a nice gesture that's both general "I love my girlfriend" sweet, and "I know what danger my girlfriend gets into on a daily basis so I want to keep her safe" sweet ), but just simply putting herself bodily between Hayate and the explosion would protect them?

No, Hayate is not a fool!

Bwahaha, if me writing depressing Hayate stories results in more of these awesome shorts from you, then I'll have to whip out more!

More commentary on the fic: I realize that part of the reason why Sacred Heart set off a defensive explosion was unclear--I remember you mentioning that Hayate lets off magical energy when she's aroused in "Things We Tame", but maybe dropping a mention of that in this fic will make the mechanism of the accident more obvious?

Originally Posted by Shigan

Also, I imagine this happening sometime after The Things We Tame, after Vivio's deployment. I can't imagine Nanoha still being in denial about them being physical after having seen them like this, explosion or not.

Noted on the time-frame, I'll add it to the Chronology ^^.

Originally Posted by Shigan

Because in all honesty, explosions don't get you naked. Girlfriends do.

*Snicker* A fact that Nanoha knows well?

*Hayate gives a friendly, defeated wave*
Fate: ...
Nanoha: ...
Raising Heart: Count 20, 19, 18...

[mega1987]

Originally Posted by deathcurse

*Hayate gives a friendly, defeated wave*
Fate: ...
Nanoha: ...
Raising Heart: Count 20, 19, 18...

I think Hayate should use those last seconds to flee, before world war 3 explodes in her face...

[Shigan]

Originally Posted by deathcurse

The Saint's Armour, by my understanding, is a natural shield that Vivio can form around herself when she gets attacked? She apparently lost this ability after StrikerS, but it could be interesting to have in the Files. I don't know enough about it though, to really judge on how to use it properly and such . Dezo did a good job of explaining a version of it in his MagicalLibrarian!Vivio story... How I see it possibly coming in this fic is that Vivio wouldn't need a pre-set shield spell (I noted that Hayate had given that necklace to her, a nice gesture that's both general "I love my girlfriend" sweet, and "I know what danger my girlfriend gets into on a daily basis so I want to keep her safe" sweet ), but just simply putting herself bodily between Hayate and the explosion would protect them?

Oh, I forgot completely about that. Well, maybe because the saint armor only covers Vivio then? If she just uses her body, Hayate might still lose a limb or two ^_^. I'm not sure how our take on the armour should be actually, let's cross that bridge when we get there shall we?

Bwahaha, if me writing depressing Hayate stories results in more of these awesome shorts from you, then I'll have to whip out more!

Crappers.

More commentary on the fic: I realize that part of the reason why Sacred Heart set off a defensive explosion was unclear--I remember you mentioning that Hayate lets off magical energy when she's aroused in "Things We Tame", but maybe dropping a mention of that in this fic will make the mechanism of the accident more obvious?

I didn't give it much thought. I needed an explosion. Hayate messing up a rune and pissing Sacred heart off seemed a logical thing to do, hence this. xD And oh, Hayate's little shexy mage display only happens when erh... Vivio is really landing her apollo 13 on the surface of Hayate's moon with such thunder that Hayate cannot help but lose it. Her control is per normal quite surgical.

*Hayate gives a friendly, defeated wave*
Fate: ...
Nanoha: ...
Raising Heart: [B]Count 20, 19, 18...[/B

Originally Posted by mega1987

I think Hayate should use those last seconds to flee, before world war 3 explodes in her face...

You know, if any of you feel like write a short on the follow up to this, you have my blessing.

[deathcurse]

Originally Posted by spawnofthejudge

I'd suggest as late as possible, since the more comfortable they all are with the situation and each other, the easier it is to imagine that they all collapse in helpless laughter after the end of the narrative.

Alternatively, as early as possible to make a side-fic of Nanoha and Fate's elaborate punishment for Hayate (and more serious one for Vivio).

And yes. I exist. I'm just dead tired from my vacation away from internet. I hope to have edited chapters soon to show for it, though.

True, depending on how this event will be remembered down the road, it could affect where it goes in the chronology . Since I love either outcome XD, I'll leave it up to Shigan to decide . So far it looks to be not too long after "Things We Tame"?

Originally Posted by mega1987

I think Hayate should use those last seconds to flee, before world war 3 explodes in her face...

Hayate is a smart woman--she knows that there's no way she can escape Fate's speed . She might as well take it like a woman and die under her girlfriend XDDDDD....

EDIT:

Originally Posted by Shigan

Oh, I forgot completely about that. Well, maybe because the saint armor only covers Vivio then? If she just uses her body, Hayate might still lose a limb or two ^_^. I'm not sure how our take on the armour should be actually, let's cross that bridge when we get there shall we?

Easy solution, works!

Originally Posted by Shigan

I didn't give it much thought. I needed an explosion. Hayate messing up a rune and pissing Sacred heart off seemed a logical thing to do, hence this. xD And oh, Hayate's little shexy mage display only happens when erh... Vivio is really landing her apollo 13 on the surface of Hayate's moon with such thunder that Hayate cannot help but lose it. Her control is per normal quite surgical.

LOL, I see! Either way, maybe a bit of explanation around the reason for the explosion would be nice, since I had thought that it was Hayate accidentally setting something off due to the foreplay, but it seems I was wrong! XD;;

[Shigan]

Originally Posted by deathcurse

True, depending on how this event will be remembered down the road, it could affect where it goes in the chronology . Since I love either outcome XD, I'll leave it up to Shigan to decide . So far it looks to be not too long after "Things We Tame"?

At least six months after Tame , I really have no details for this. This wasn't exactly a brainy thing to execute. Fun thou xD.

Hayate is a smart woman--she knows that there's no way she can escape Fate's speed . She might as well take it like a woman and die under her girlfriend XDDDDD....

*nod* there are far worse ways to die than doing so while being squeezed against an ample beautiful bosom. And considering who that bosom belongs to, I had actually say that staying there improves Hayate's chances for survival.

[Shigan]

Originally Posted by deathcurse

LOL, I see! Either way, maybe a bit of explanation around the reason for the explosion would be nice, since I had thought that it was Hayate accidentally setting something off due to the foreplay, but it seems I was wrong! XD;;

Actually, that was exactly what happened. Rune work is careful, exact work after all ^^.

[deathcurse]

Added the story to the Files Chronology in my signature, btw ^^. (Note, Shigan: You missed the link to Part 4 in "Things We Tame" in the post of the final part =O).

Originally Posted by Shigan

*nod* there are far worse ways to die than doing so while being squeezed against an ample beautiful bosom. And considering who that bosom belongs to, I had actually say that staying there improves Hayate's chances for survival.

Yes, it's probably the safest place to be at the moment XD.

Originally Posted by Shigan

Actually, that was exactly what happened. Rune work is careful, exact work after all ^^.

Ah, I see! I think I was confused at how the foreplay had affected it--did Hayate's hand slip and cause a streak, or did she hit the wrong Rune to close the program, etc? XD Not a big deal, but I'm curious!

[Tempy]

Hmm. I guess my return wasn't all that great.

[Shigan]

Originally Posted by deathcurse

Ah, I see! I think I was confused at how the foreplay had affected it--did Hayate's hand slip and cause a streak, or did she hit the wrong Rune to close the program, etc? XD Not a big deal, but I'm curious!

Perhaps you could write a follow up where Shari's scientific curiosity makes her ask a shipload of awkward questions about the hows and whys? =D

I imagined it being Hayate drawing a wrong line somewhere, and this either altering a rune or simply triggering something in SH's programming that made the device think it was being manually hacked, thus triggering a defensive attack-spell.

Also, I've tried and tried and tried to get chapter 4 to show in that dratted post. It won't for some ungodly reason. I'll look into it. *sigh*

[Yasanagi]

Originally Posted by Tempy

Hmm. I guess my return wasn't all that great.

Needs more quality father/Materials time.

[00-Raiser]

Originally Posted by Yasanagi

Needs more quality father/Materials time.

I second this motion!

[Tempy]

Ehh. I might get there following the last chapter of the A's arc, the events of the PSP game come after A's.

Sadly, the lack of response for the last two Food For Thoughts make me feel there's a lack of interest in it, so finding more motivation to write it is proving difficult.

[Nanya01]

Originally Posted by Tempy

Ehh. I might get there following the last chapter of the A's arc, the events of the PSP game come after A's.

Sadly, the lack of response for the last two Food For Thoughts make me feel there's a lack of interest in it, so finding more motivation to write it is proving difficult.

Eh, don't worry about that, Tempy.

I barely get any responses to my stuff around here at times.

People still read it though.

[mega1987]

Originally Posted by Yasanagi

Needs more quality father/Materials time.

Originally Posted by 00-Raiser

I second this motion!

can we say now Motion carried?

[Craxuan]

Actually, the Saint Armor is some sort of a skin shield I think, so while Vivio might survive a nuclear bomb her clothes would still be gone.

Really awesome read there!

[00-Raiser]

Originally Posted by Tempy

Sadly, the lack of response for the last two Food For Thoughts make me feel there's a lack of interest in it, so finding more motivation to write it is proving difficult.

I know how you feel, man. I know how you feel. Sometimes it seems like you have to have Lutecia/Vivio or Vivio/Hayate in your fic to get any attention around here

[RadiantBeam]

Jeez, disappear from the forum for one night and the thread grows several pages while you're gone. Reminds me of the good old days

Originally Posted by Tiresias

Say, when you guys plan to write long stories, what do you do to ensure consistency? Make short notes? Design a timeline? Etc?

When I write long stories (mostly in the case of Rain, since I can't really cite Shadowverse considering how that all turned out) I tend to make notes of certain things I want to happen, and try to include them in specific chapters. That way I know what points I've hit and where I need to go from there.

[Yasanagi]

Well, those people really just get on a posting high when they see something that causes them to go squee while anyone else just lurks, reads, goes 'meh' and moves on more or less.