Dating

[GN0010 Nosferatu]

Come back to us when you do eventually experience it. You'll see what we're talking about.

[Rajura]

Originally Posted by Otaku Emperor

Okay say I get a job that makes me work alot with not much free time when I become an adult.
How do I find love then, If I'm always working?

Because people always tell me to wait, but I get the feeling waiting will put me in an even bigger delemer of not being able to find someone due to work if I get a job like that in the future.

It'll be okay... MOST jobs won't keep you that busy that you won't have any time at all.

Granted this is just me, but my job schedule requires me to work ~80 hours a week, but I still have time for love and friends. Once you get a routine, time seems to open up.

Also, if time is a priority for you, start looking for a career that interests you and has a favorable workload.

[yoropa]

Originally Posted by Hooves

@synaesthetic So if sex is a human need that is almost as demanding as food, water, etc then.... I don't want to think to deeply on that..

I wouldn't necessarily say "need" since unlike water and food and oxygen you don't technically need it to live.

However, biologically speaking, your body does everything it can to make you attracted to the opposite sex (and make you more attractive to them) because, from an evolutionary standpoint, more sex = more children = better survival of the species as whole, and that's the answer to why such a system exists.

I try my best to ignore those urges and remain neutral, but even then it can be quite difficult. Incredibly difficult.

In short, it's human instinct to want to have sex, whether you like it or not as the case may be.

[Hooves]

Originally Posted by yoropa

In short, it's human instinct to want to have sex, whether you like it or not as the case may be.

So from shows that I have previously watched, the fact that after sex, it always makes one of the people feel generally depressed is due to the fact that they could not control their Human Instinct, and just let it control them without their knowledge of ever doing it? Well if that is true if I said it correctly, then that explains something to me.

But then their is also the case that the person is dissapointed because he/she got drunk and just had sex with probably some random stranger, or the person who offered them alcohol

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by Hooves

So from shows that I have previously watched, the fact that after sex, it always makes one of the people feel generally depressed is due to the fact that they could not control their Human Instinct, and just let it control them without their knowledge of ever doing it? Well if that is true if I said it correctly, then that explains something to me.

But then their is also the case that the person is dissapointed because he/she got drunk and just had sex with probably some random stranger, or the person who offered them alcohol

Well, something you also have to keep in mind is that the sensation of sex can vary depending on who you have it with. For example, if you get drunk and have sex with a stranger, the physical act of the sex itself might be good, but the emotional side of it could be lacking because it was sudden and random and there was no connection between the two of you. On the other hand, you could have sex with somebody you love, or somebody you care for deeply (like, say, a friends with benefits situation), and both the physical and emotional parts of having sex with that person feel good. It really depends on the situation; I think what Nosferatu and Syn were describing is when you enjoy the sex because it's with someone you at least liked.

Also, is it possible to not remember having sex? Maybe if you were really knocked up on alcohol or drugs, or possibly if it was a "sleep sex" scenario... or if it was a traumatizing experience.

[GN0010 Nosferatu]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

Well, something you also have to keep in mind is that the sensation of sex can vary depending on who you have it with. For example, if you get drunk and have sex with a stranger, the physical act of the sex itself might be good, but the emotional side of it could be lacking because it was sudden and random and there was no connection between the two of you. On the other hand, you could have sex with somebody you love, or somebody you care for deeply (like, say, a friends with benefits situation), and both the physical and emotional parts of having sex with that person feel good. It really depends on the situation; I think what Nosferatu and Syn were describing is when you enjoy the sex because it's with someone you at least liked.

Also, is it possible to not remember having sex? Maybe if you were really knocked up on alcohol or drugs, or possibly if it was a "sleep sex" scenario... or if it was a traumatizing experience.

First time that bad eh?

No I kid.

Seriously though, it is possible, usually the strongest hangover will cause some memory loss.

[yoropa]

Originally Posted by Hooves

So from shows that I have previously watched

Stopping you right there.

Never trust the depictions of sex in movies and the media.
It's literally a bunch of bogus.

[Hooves]

Originally Posted by yoropa

Stopping you right there.

Never trust the depictions of sex in movies and the media.
It's literally a bunch of bogus.

Of course I never trusted it at first because I never understood what exactly they were trying to point out. Since the people who direct movies these days from where I live are just mostly wanting to put "Sex/Comedy/Action" with barely any plot which mostly kills the purpose of going to the movie theater anymore for me..

[Kaijo]

Originally Posted by GN0010 Nosferatu

Finally someone gets it! Everytime I talked to someone about this, they always make me feel like a low pig...and I keep telling them "It's an urge!". Once you've done it, you crave it all the time.

I have to disagree, but it's a personal thing. Once I had sex, it was no longer such a driving urge for me. My first time wasn't bad, and I still feel a bit embarrassed about some things, but the person I was with made it good. It was because the feelings we had for each other were strong that made it good.

But after that, I really didn't have much of a craving for sex. I still felt like it towards those I came to love, but it was because there was an emotional component.

Course, there was the stalker that I screwed around with to mess with her head, haha.

[Pocky Yoshi]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

I think what AHH means (and feel free to correct me if I misinterpreted this) is that he felt like "the only one" because he was never interested in actively pursuing a relationship, when it's something that a lot of people seem to do and encourage.

I have to admit it's a feeling I can relate to, on some level. I've never been the type to go out and actively seek a romantic relatioship with someone; to my parents, the last "serious" relationship I ever had (and by serious for them, I mean "They actually knew about it") was with my ex-boyfriend when I was fourteen, which lasted for a year. My ex-girlfriend is a touchier subject for them.

In any case, I can definitely understand what he feels. I always felt like the odd one out because I didn't actively attempt to find a romantic relationship and was perfectly happy being single. I swear, everyone I know breathed a sigh of relief when I started dating Ricky.

In other words(and correct me if I'm wrong), sometimes we may not be emotionally ready for a relationship and would love to our own thing first? Could that be what he's/she's saying? Anyways, I myself (for instance) want to seek out companionship with a girl. And hopefully it might grow to a lover relationship. But at the same time, I prefer to be alone and would like to enjoy not being tied down yet. If I happen to meet a wonderful and unique girl one day, I would settle down. Yet I'm very picky and finicky person with such expectations......but I'm low maintenance lol. Getting back on on topic, certain people I guess feel uneasy and insecure about having relationships to the point they prefer to be alone. That's understandable. Thanks for reading the long rambling simple mofo who says namu. If not, oh well. I'm in love with being inquisitive at life atm hehe.

[synaesthetic]

Originally Posted by Otaku Emperor

*Donk* ^^ I'm not after sex silly, I don't even want it yet. (I'm not ready yet)

Besides I am not just after to get laid, I would never have casual sex, because i deem that as sex without love, therefore it is invalid!

Okay, so, at fifteen, why do you want "love" so much? What about being "attached" is so attractive to you?

Also, don't lie, every fifteen year old boy thinks about sex constantly.

Originally Posted by Kaijo

As for whacking vs. actual sex, I'll have to disagree. While sex is nice, I personally find no real woman can beat my imagination, heh. So while I wanted real sex at one time, I no longer care. Porn and my imagination work just find whenever I feel the urge.

I don't care what lotion you use, your hand isn't as soft as a vagina.

Originally Posted by Hooves

So from shows that I have previously watched, the fact that after sex, it always makes one of the people feel generally depressed is due to the fact that they could not control their Human Instinct, and just let it control them without their knowledge of ever doing it? Well if that is true if I said it correctly, then that explains something to me.

But then their is also the case that the person is dissapointed because he/she got drunk and just had sex with probably some random stranger, or the person who offered them alcohol

This is mostly bullshit. After sex (or any activity that triggers floods of dopamine in your brain, such as recreational drug use) you'll feel a come-down as the rush of feel-good chemicals returns to nominal levels.

This is why people (especially guys, who can usually only blow their load once before having to wait for the refraction period to end) sometimes fall asleep after sex. And then get whacked in the head with a pillow by their significant other!

[Kaijo]

Originally Posted by synaesthetic

I don't care what lotion you use, your hand isn't as soft as a vagina.

Who says only a hand is involved? Technology has come quite far. ;p

[synaesthetic]

I blame Japan for this.

[Ascaloth]

Originally Posted by synaesthetic

I blame Japan for this.

I blame Japan for making us bunch of misfits on this forum who we are in the first place.

[LeoXiao]

Okay, so, at fifteen, why do you want "love" so much? What about being "attached" is so attractive to you?

Also, don't lie, every fifteen year old boy thinks about sex constantly.

I think the "love" he's trying to talk about is something less casual, more like genuine friendship rather than "hey you're hot, I want to f*** you." Some people, myself included, don't like casual sex because it's got that cheap, animalistic nature attached to it, or for some other reason; maybe Otaku Emperor has a different reasoning. Just because he probably has sexual thoughts quite often doesn't mean that he necessarily wants it.

I also think about violence, war, and killing things constantly, in addition to sex. But I hold myself to a different conscious standard than what random thoughts spew from my subconscious.

EDIT: Sorry if this post sounded pretentious. It's complicated but frankly I am quite tired.

[yoropa]

Originally Posted by LeoXiao

I think the "love" he's trying to talk about is something less casual, more like genuine friendship rather than "hey you're hot, I want to f*** you." Some people, myself included, don't like casual sex because it's got that cheap, animalistic nature attached to it, or for some other reason; maybe Otaku Emperor has a different reasoning. Just because he probably has sexual thoughts quite often doesn't mean that he necessarily wants it.

I also think about violence, war, and killing things constantly, in addition to sex. But I hold myself to a different conscious standard than what random thoughts spew from my subconscious.

EDIT: Sorry if this post sounded pretentious. It's complicated but frankly I am quite tired.

In simple words, he thinks about it but doesn't dwell on it, nor lets it control him.
I feel I'm the same way.

[Nogitsune]

I think comparing casual sex to killing someone is problematic (even if it was probably just to illustrate a point), and I don't believe there's anything "cheap" to it, but if it doesn't appeal to you for one reason or another, yeah, that's fine, too.

[synaesthetic]

Agreed. I don't see anything wrong with casual sex as long as you're not stupid about it and catch syphilis or something.

Also I don't know anyone who has the stones to just walk up to a random person and tell them that they want to fuck them. At least not without liberal application of alcohol beforehand.

[Otaku Emperor]

Originally Posted by LeoXiao

I think the "love" he's trying to talk about is something less casual, more like genuine friendship rather than "hey you're hot, I want to f*** you." Some people, myself included, don't like casual sex because it's got that cheap, animalistic nature attached to it, or for some other reason; maybe Otaku Emperor has a different reasoning. Just because he probably has sexual thoughts quite often doesn't mean that he necessarily wants it.

I also think about violence, war, and killing things constantly, in addition to sex. But I hold myself to a different conscious standard than what random thoughts spew from my subconscious.

EDIT: Sorry if this post sounded pretentious. It's complicated but frankly I am quite tired.

:3 I'd say your pretty much right. Your a smart person ^^, :3 And you too Yoropa

[synaesthetic]

I still want to know, though, what about your own life feels so incomplete that you'd put this much effort and desire into obtaining a girlfriend?