NFL and College Football (American Football) Thread

[Mr. DJ]

put nothing past nobody >.>

[Last Sinner]

And Chicago wins it. That fail fake punt throw that missed an open receiver was hilarious. Somebody give Forte a worthy contract - the guy is awesome! As much as I like DeSean Jackson and LeSean McCoy, Philly's D is a basket case to give up 30 points to an offense like Chicago's. Yes, they lost 2 safetys to injury that game, but that doesn't really affect Forte's dominance.

[wingdarkness]

New Rule: In a crucial situation DO NOT throw the football to Jeremy Macklin...

Dude comes up small over and over again...Eagles gonna get roasted for this one...Their season is done...

[Dilla]

That throw was a bit high, but I wonder if Maclin would have gotten the first down even if he kept his feet. He is not a big guy and he was probably going to have to run through a tackle about a yard short of the first down to get it.

[wingdarkness]

^A player, makes that play...3rd time this season he couldn't make that one play to keep the team alive in the end...

[Kyuu]

Remember from the pre-game show:

Spoiler:

DA BEARS!

And on Maclin. Yes, he would have gotten the first down.

[FDW]

So, now that the Chicago-Philly games over, let's check in with the birdie:

Originally Posted by FDW

New York (Jets) at Buffalo, Winner: Buffalo. Justification: Buffalo's having a breakout season, the Jets are decent but they don't seem to be heading anywhere, so it's the Bills day.

Bills lack of defense kills them yet again. Once again we see a team much improved from last year, but also a team that still has a ways to go before it can get back to the top.

Seattle at Dallas, Winner: Tossup. Justification: My Narrative states that Seattle is a team slowly recovering from the abyss, a team that might get as many as 8 wins this season (though more likely 6 or 7). My Narrative also states that Dallas is a team that is in limbo: not good enough to get all the way to the Superbowl, but not bad enough to get good enough draft picks that would be necessary for a proper rebuilding. A win for Seattle would confirm my Narrative that the Seahawks are indeed improving and also that the Cowboys are a declining team, destined to spend several years in the abyss (which fits into my Narratives for the future of the NFC East: A division with three shit teams and team that is decent but gets inflated win totals due to said shit teams). A Dallas win would also confirm the current status quo I've predicted for the Cowboys, they'll still likely end up as shit in this scenario, but it'll take a bit longer for them to get there. And yes, one should expect Tony Romo to throw at least three Interceptions. Oh yeah, the Cowboys will likely end up as Slaaneshi worshipers after this game.

In honor of their victory over the Seahawks, new Slaaneshi convert Jerry Jones will be showing hardcore transsexual bondage porn over the Jerrytron and offering free samples of the new daemonic drug "supercrack" to everyone at their next home game.

Atlanta at Indianapolis, Winner: Atlanta. Justification: Obvious.

And it was.

Miami at Kansas City, Winner: Miami. Justification: This is one of my contrarian picks of the week, chosen due to my Narrative for the Raiders.

Holy fuck I was right! And it was a blowout too!

Tampa Bay at New Orleans, Winner: New Orleans. Justification: The NFC South has really shaped up to be a competitive division ever since it's been created, and the Saints aren't the team that won the Super Bowl two and a half years ago, but the Bucs haven't quite proven themselves to be an elite team yet.

As I thought…

San Francisco at Washington, Winner: San Francisco. Justification: Garbaugh continues the story of the miracle by the bay, and the Redskins start worshiping Nurgle in a desperate attempt to turn their season around, they fail though.

This is the kind of game I've dreamed about the Niners playing for several years now. Ugly as hell, annihilating the opponent and leaving baffled about what the fuck they did to lose so bad. Since WCO 2.0 is kind of lame, so why don't we call them the "Shutdown Squad".

Let's get some niners music up in here in honor of their sheer awesomeness:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFFf_...eature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lo8wW...eature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_5m9TJswk0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MUo7t...eature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fkv5N...eature=related

Clevland at Houston, Winner: Houston. Justification: The Texans take another baby-step towards their first ever playoff run, oh how they grow up so fast. Meanwhile, The Browns still suck donkey dick.

And again, I was right.

Cincinnati at Tennessee, Winner: Cincinnati. Justification: The Bungles starting to look really good again, and with team young enough to envisioned as a bunch of shounen heroes and even further hilarious implications if they make it to the Super Bowl.

Right on the money.

Denver at Oakland, Winner: Oakland. Justification: Carson Palmer may be a Question Mark, but Tim Tebow is an Exclamation Point. Expect The Raiders to attempt a fake punt at least once.

Wow I was wrong on this one. At least Palmer actually got some throws into the end zone this time around. I was right about Tim Tebow being an exclamation mark though, just not in the way that I had thought.

New York (Giants) at New England, Winner: Tossup. Justification: The only thing I can say the regardless of who wins or loses, Tzeentch has dastardly plans for the Giants, Eli Manning's obliviousness aside…

And Tzeentch's plan gets ever more convoluted.

St. Louis at Arizona, Winner: Arizona. Justification: The Cardinals have generally been much more competitive in it's games than The Rams, so the games in their favor.

Again, I was right.

Green Bay at San Diego, Winner: Green Bay. Justification: Fact: The 1972 Dolphins team made a deal with the devil to ensure that as long as least one of them was still of this world, that no NFL team would have a perfect season. Fact: The Chargers have not won a game against a team with a record of .500 or better (Yes, the Kansas City games count, as KC had a record below .500 in the first game and a record of exactly .500 in the second.)

I stand corrected about the AFC West, it isn't a Charnel House. It's a wet, hot, four way orgy.

Baltimore at Pittsburgh, Winner: Fuck it, Pittsburgh. Justification: The Ravens are very obviously a team in decline after several strong years. So yeah, it's not because I like Pittsburgh or anything, because I don't, you got that?

Will the Ravens fucking decide on whether or not thy want to be a playoff-caliber team or not already?

Chicago at Philadelphia, Winner: Philadelphia. Justification: This will be bloody, as the newly Khornate Eagles will make sure shed much blood for the blood god, and get many trophies for the trophy throne. Expect more rioting than usual at Lincoln Financial Field.

I think that all the bloodshed and rioting got in the way of winning this week for the Eagles… [/QUOTE]

[Mr. DJ]

Originally Posted by FDW

In honor of their victory over the Seahawks, new Slaaneshi convert Jerry Jones will be showing hardcore transsexual bondage porn over the Jerrytron and offering free samples of the new daemonic drug "supercrack" to everyone at their next home game.

[Dilla]

With possible tornado producing cells near Indianapolis. . .



At least they can make fun of themselves about it.

[Demongod86]

Stick a fork in the Eagles. They're done. And WTF is up with our corners getting burned like they're well-done marshmallows? That and once again, DJax and JMac come up with epic fails.

I saw on the internet that someone described the Eagles as a schizo girlfriend. When she's good, she's great and you love her, but when she's bad...oh god...

Don't see the Eagles catching up to the Giants the way the GMen are playing. Eagles have issues on both sides of the ball. O line is junk, linebackers are junk, and our corners are dogging it. If we still had Dawkins leading the D, we'd be wrecking house, but without his leadership/emotional pumping up, we're screwed. Vick is better than McNabb, but our D just blows this year.

At which point will the Eagles get a full team is what I'm wondering. When we had JJ and Dawk and such, our offense blew chunks. Now that we have Vick and all of these young speedy guys in skill positions and one of the best running backs in the league, our defense just bites.

And in other news, the Pats cut Fat Albert.

[Dilla]

I want to say with the recent dirty laundry being aired out at Penn State, it'll be a shame if such a legendary career like Joe Paterno's ends like this.

[FDW]

Originally Posted by Mr. DJ

Because I thought it would be hilarious to pair each of the NFC East teams with a chaos god, and Slaanesh is the ideal fit for The Cowboys.

Originally Posted by Demongod86

Stick a fork in the Eagles. They're done. And WTF is up with our corners getting burned like they're well-done marshmallows? That and once again, DJax and JMac come up with epic fails.

I saw on the internet that someone described the Eagles as a schizo girlfriend. When she's good, she's great and you love her, but when she's bad...oh god...

Don't see the Eagles catching up to the Giants the way the GMen are playing. Eagles have issues on both sides of the ball. O line is junk, linebackers are junk, and our corners are dogging it. If we still had Dawkins leading the D, we'd be wrecking house, but without his leadership/emotional pumping up, we're screwed. Vick is better than McNabb, but our D just blows this year.

At which point will the Eagles get a full team is what I'm wondering. When we had JJ and Dawk and such, our offense blew chunks. Now that we have Vick and all of these young speedy guys in skill positions and one of the best running backs in the league, our defense just bites.

And in other news, the Pats cut Fat Albert.

Don't lose hope yet, The Giants are about to enter their most brutal part of the schedule, and you have Khorne on your side as well.




Now for my first (of three) series of playoff predictions:


NFC West:

-Overview: This division can best be described as "The San Francisco 49ers Division", given the sheer way the 49ers are dominating the division, having more wins than the rest of the division combined, there's not really much to say about it.

-Likely Winner (at this point): The San Francisco 49ers. (Likely seed: No.2)

-Why?: When the leading team in the division has more wins than rest of the division combined, one can be pretty confident about their chances of winning the division.


NFC North:

-Overview: This division is good, with three teams having winning records. Green Bay is undefeated, Detroit is having their best year in forever, and Chicago's keeping pace.

-Likely Winner (at this point): The Green Bay Packers. (Likely seed: No.1)

Why?: They're undefeated right now, and Detroit and Chicago won't be able to catch up enough to dislodge Green Bay.


NFC South:

-Overview: This division is competitive and exciting to watch, with no real dominant team, it is also a very new division, only having been created in it's modern incarnation in 2002.

-Likely Winner (at this point): The New Orleans Saints. (Likely seed: No.3)

Why?: They aren't the team that won the Super Bowl in 2009, but their still an explosive team that can really score a fuckton of points in a hurry.

NFC East:

-Overview: Long known as the most dominant division in the NFL, it's fallen into mediocracy and chaos worship over the course of the season.

-Likely Winner (at this point): The Philadelphia Eagles. (Likely seed No.4)

-Why? The Giants are standing on the edge of epic second half collapse and The Cowboys are an inconsistent roller coaster. It also helps that the Eagles have an easy schedule ahead.


No.5 Wild Card seed:

-Likely Winner (at this point): The Detroit Lions.

-Why?: Despite their flaws, they've been better than they've been for a long time.


No.6 Wild Card seed:

-Likely Winner (at this point): The Atlanta Falcons.

-Why?: The Falcons have done kept the NFC South competitive, so I consider them good enough to squeak in.


AFC West:

-Overview: This division is a hot wild mess with three of it's teams tied for first and it's fourth team just one game behind.

-Likely Winner (at this point): The Oakland Raiders. (Likely seed: No.4)

-Why? The might sound a bit crazy, but it makes some sense when you consider That The Chargers haven't beat a team with a winning record, The Chiefs lack a proper offense, and The Broncos have Tim Tebow.


AFC North:

-Overview: This division is bloody and competitive with three teams with winning records.

-Likely Winner (at this point): The Cincinnati Bengals. (Likely seed: No.1)

-Why?: They've been doing surprisingly well this year, and things are looking up for them.


AFC South:

-Overview: This division used to be owned by The Colts, now they suck. Yet this division is still easy to figure out.

-Likely Winner (at this point): The Houston Texans. (Likely seed: No.3)

-Why?: They're good enough, and The Colts suck.


AFC East:

-Overview: Formerly dominated by The Patriots, this division has now become rather competitive.

-Likely Winner (at this point): The New York Jets. (Likely seed: No.4)

-Why? The Patriots are starting to fall apart while The Bills haven't put everything together, this gives The Jets a chance to sneak up the middle and take the division crown.


No. 5 Wild Card:

-Likely Winner (at this point): The Baltimore Ravens.

-Why?: Though I think The Bengals will push them out of a division win, they're likely still good enough for a wild card slot.


No. 6 Wild Card:

-Likely Winner (at this point): The New England Patriots.

-Why?: Flaws aside, they're still good enough to make to the playoffs.




Okay, tomorrow will be the Week 10 predictions, since Thursday Night Football is starting up.

[Demongod86]

To say the giants have a brutal schedule is a bit disingenuous IMO. Yeah, they're facing the packers ahead. But they outplayed the Pats at Foxboro. And remember, SF only beat Philly by a point. I wouldn't be surprised to see the Gmen come out on top there, and given the way Philly is playing, I can see NY beating us soundly.

[Mr. DJ]

Originally Posted by FDW

Because I thought it would be hilarious to pair each of the NFC East teams with a chaos god, and Slaanesh is the ideal fit for The Cowboys.

was more referring to the transsexual porn, but lolz

[FDW]

Originally Posted by Demongod86

To say the giants have a brutal schedule is a bit disingenuous IMO. Yeah, they're facing the packers ahead. But they outplayed the Pats at Foxboro. And remember, SF only beat Philly by a point. I wouldn't be surprised to see the Gmen come out on top there, and given the way Philly is playing, I can see NY beating us soundly.

You underestimate the prowess of the 49ers defense, and the sheer psychology behind a team that's been making it's shutting down big name teams. You also overestimate a Giants squad that's had four of it's victories won by a margin of less than one touchdown. (Coincidentally the Eagles have lost four their of their game by less than one touch down.)

Originally Posted by Mr. DJ

was more referring to the transsexual porn, but lolz

Well, Slaanesh's portfolio includes all sorts of pleasure, so I kinda felt that it was both appropriate and hilarious to include. (Especially so, given the conservatism of the Metroplex.)



Now since Thursday Night Football is starting up, we'll be having the weekly predictions on Wednesday from on, so let's start:

Oakland at San Diego, Winner: Oakland. Justification: I mean sure, Carson Palmer's thrown three interceptions each against The Chiefs and Broncos, but Phillip Rivers also threw three interceptions against Green Bay last week. What really seals this for The Raiders is that The Chargers have yet to beat a team with a record of .500 or better, and the last time I checked, The Raiders still have a record of .500. Also, expect The Raiders to fake punt during the game.

New Orleans at Atlanta, Winner: Tossup. This game will interesting to see, even if I've got no clue how it will turn out.

Pittsburgh at Cincinnati, Winner: Cincinnati. Justification: The Bengals have shown themselves to be real, and The Steelers haven't been the team that's been to three Super Bowl's in the last six years this years, they still manage to baffle me though.

St. Louis at Cleveland, Winner: St. Louis. Justification: The Browns are in a free fall, and The Rams hope to do their part in stymying The Niners hopes of clinching in week 11.

Buffalo at Dallas, Winner: Buffalo. Justification: I think Choko will be hitting the Supercrack a little too hard to play effectively, and The Bills haven't hit their despair spot yet. Also, expect Choko to throw at least three interceptions, and lastly, rumors have abounded that the Dallas O-Line has taken up S&M role-play.

Jacksonville at Indianapolis, Winner: Jacksonville. Justification: The Colts have come to really like being Draft Whores, I don't expect them to sully their reputation against The Jags.

Denver at Kansas City, Winner: Denver. Justification: In another eeeh performance, Tebow will pull a win off The Chiefs, continuing "The Strange Saga Of Tim Tebow" and making the AFC West even more maddening.

Washington at Miami, Winner: Miami. Justification: Since The Deadfish have decided they don't want to be Draft Whores anymore, They'll suck a little less than they usually do.

Arizona at Philadelphia, Winner: Philadelphia. Justification: This is a must win game for The Eagles, so they should pull out all of the stops and make sure to spill plenty of blood before the game, and to riot with extra vigor to make sure Khorne performs at his best.

Houston at Tampa Bay, Winner: Houston. Justification: Bye Bye Tampa Bay playoff hopes.

Tennessee at Carolina, Winner: Carolina: Justification: Hello future Super Bowl winning team.

Baltimore at Seattle, Winner: Seattle. Justification: Seattle plays spoiler on the bad Ravens offense while screwing over San Francisco's attempts to clinch the division early.

Detroit at Chicago, Winner: Detroit. Justification: The Bears still suck, and The Lions have some dignity to take back.

New York (Giants) at San Francisco, Winner: San Francisco. The Giants are bad against the run, and The Niners psychological games will wreak havoc on the Giants offense.

New England at New York (Jets), Winner: New York (Jets). The Patriots are in free-fall, and The Jets are sneaking up the middle.

Minnesota at Green Bay, Winner: Green Bay. Justification: As a gesture of sympathy toward the Vikings, I will acknowledge them The Minnesota Vikings for this one game, their last against their traditional rivals (The Green Bay Packers) as The Minnesota Vikings, but after that I'm going back to calling them The Los Angeles Dons.

[solomon]

So........

no comments about that little thing happening up in State College?

[GDB]

Originally Posted by FDW

Baltimore at Seattle, Winner: Seattle. Justification: Seattle plays spoiler on the bad Ravens offense while screwing over San Francisco's attempts to clinch the division early.

Can't really agree with this one. Seattle only beat one good team thus far, and has gone down hill drastically since then. Jacksonville only won because their defense is surprisingly underestimated, but Seattle has... uhm... a guy in a giant bird suit? Wait, Ravens have one of those too. So they got nothing.

[Demongod86]

Originally Posted by solomon

So........

no comments about that little thing happening up in State College?

Penn State? Meh. Some pedo touched some boys, some people got fired. Things happen. Sucks for the kids, sucks for JoePa as people call him, cuz he didn't even touch them, and sucks for the school prez. Personally, have no vested interests one way or another. So really don't care.

[SeijiSensei]

Originally Posted by Demongod86

Personally, have no vested interests one way or another. So really don't care.

Do you have children of your own? If not, your feelings might change some day.

I suggest you read this piece by Maureen Dowd in yesterday's NY Times before you brush this under the carpet. Pay particular attention to the section that describes Sandusky's rape of a ten-year-old boy. Now imagine that was your son.

I'm pretty disgusted to see today that McQueary, who witnessed the rape yet did nothing to rescue the boy, will be on the sidelines in Saturday's game.

[Demongod86]

Originally Posted by SeijiSensei

Do you have children of your own? If not, your feelings might change some day.

I suggest you read this piece by Maureen Dowd in yesterday's NY Times before you brush this under the carpet. Pay particular attention to the section that describes Sandusky's rape of a ten-year-old boy. Now imagine that was your son.

I'm pretty disgusted to see today that McQueary, who witnessed the rape yet did nothing to rescue the boy, will be on the sidelines in Saturday's game.

Only 25 years old. So nope. Not even close.