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RadiantBeam · 2010-04-03, 19:45

Quote:

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

As of just now, I received a (maybe two?) long distance calls at 1AM in the bloody morning from a madwoman screaming down the line verbal abuses and threats with regards to me rejecting her sister. When she asked me why, I told her the truth (that I liked her) : so she went "ARRRRGGGHHH!" like a rampaging female barbarian and hung up.

Half an hour later, she called me back (this ojou sure has alot of dosh) and broke my heart with two things :

1. She told me that she wasn't interested in me. She saw me as her gay male best friend...

2. who could only act more manly if I fulfilled Ascaloth's prediction.

In fact, I am surprised that she understood why I rejected her sis outright. And she agreed that her sister wasn't ready to have a boyfriend yet : that girl would just get cheated out of her virginity.

Miss Tsundere says she will talk to her sis, and as usual, her ending words for me is a threat,

"If you do anything stupid to my sis, I will cut you up."
"With what? A katana? A cleaver?"
"No, a bonesaw."

So what do I do next? Cut myself because I am being perceived as a gay by a girl I like?

Btw what is the bloody time now over at UK anyway?

I'm going to be honest and say you should seriously think about getting away from her. Completely. A girl who tosses around those kinds of threats so easily (and from what you've said about her, is willing to follow through with those threats) isn't worth your time. You deserve better.

Haruka_Kitten · 2010-04-03, 20:50

Quote:

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

As of just now, I received a (maybe two?) long distance calls at 1AM in the bloody morning from a madwoman screaming down the line verbal abuses and threats with regards to me rejecting her sister. When she asked me why, I told her the truth (that I liked her) : so she went "ARRRRGGGHHH!" like a rampaging female barbarian and hung up.

Woah...rampant much? At least she's paying. I've been reverse charged a good $5 on my part for a 30 second call of someone telling me to stop prank calling >_>"

Quote:

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

Half an hour later, she called me back (this ojou sure has alot of dosh) and broke my heart with two things :

1. She told me that she wasn't interested in me. She saw me as her gay male best friend...

Seriously, is having an interest in anything remotely girly enough to label people gay? Partially because I just went bi, I really dislike the term. It seems painful that she'd string you along like that and throw that in your face. I woulda given her a big fat "Yeah, well stuff you." You don't deserve to be thrown around like that, and the tone of her voice sounds like it was a bit insensitive.

Quote:

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

...In fact, I am surprised that she understood why I rejected her sis outright. And she agreed that her sister wasn't ready to have a boyfriend yet : that girl would just get cheated out of her virginity.

I shall probably touch on this, that girls are extremely good at manipulation. Because of the perception that girls are the weaker sex (trust me, this is NOT how I think), a girl is easily able to make you look like the bad guy. It's challenging knowing what to and not to do, especially since, as you say, it would look like you were taking advantage of her to cheat her out of her virginity. (I don't even think this makes any sense at all...)

Quote:

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

Miss Tsundere says she will talk to her sis, and as usual, her ending words for me is a threat,

"If you do anything stupid to my sis, I will cut you up."
"With what? A katana? A cleaver?"
"No, a bonesaw."

So what do I do next? Cut myself because I am being perceived as a gay by a girl I like?

I'm gonna agree with psycho_luny, why do you bother with her anymore now? As far as I can see, she's screwed you over pretty good. I don't think you should cut yourself, that only shows you caved into her insults.

Quote:

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

Btw what is the bloody time now over at UK anyway?

Currently, at writing this, AEST (Daylight savings ended last night) is 11:50AM, so currently it should be 1:50AM in the UK

VM me if it doesn't make sense, yeah?

Ascaloth · 2010-04-03, 22:04

Quote:

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

1. She told me that she wasn't interested in me. She saw me as her gay male best friend...

Wow. If she gave you a line like that, then that generally means GG. Unless you're willing to try something drastic (like the "lean in and kiss" for example) - and frankly even I wouldn't put my money on a positive outcome at this point - then this is the sign you're better off going for the "Start New Game" option.

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2. who could only act more manly if I fulfilled Ascaloth's prediction.

...which one? It bugs me sometimes that I don't remember half of what I've said before.

Quote:

In fact, I am surprised that she understood why I rejected her sis outright. And she agreed that her sister wasn't ready to have a boyfriend yet : that girl would just get cheated out of her virginity.

There you have it. I knew she couldn't be quite that unreasonable. You underestimate people a tad too much sometimes, dude.

Quote:

So what do I do next? Cut myself because I am being perceived as a gay by a girl I like?

I'd say Start New Game, pal. If you want an alternative high-risk high-reward option, do the "lean in and kiss".

SaintessHeart · 2010-04-04, 08:09

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kakashi

Haven't you tried your best to tread carefully with her sister? Put her back in her place, and don't let her threaten you again, even jokingly, because she has no right to do that.

Actually it is her exaggerated and empty threats that make her cute. It's her way of covering up for her insecurity of being SWCC (Soft, Warm, Caring & Cuddly) on the inside.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kafriel

If you somehow enjoy her company, stay friends...otherwise just end it. Can't get along with everyone on the planet, she isn't making it any easier for you, and the whole little sis thing must be rather stressful. In the end, you didn't even get a thanks after all the crap you were put through...sucks

She did. Though when I tried to confirm it, she went "tsun" ("It is...it's not like you deserve any thanks for this!"). How cute.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Harufox

Woah...rampant much? At least she's paying. I've been reverse charged a good $5 on my part for a 30 second call of someone telling me to stop prank calling >_>"

What is money when your parents work somewhere high up in the airlines?

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Seriously, is having an interest in anything remotely girly enough to label people gay? Partially because I just went bi, I really dislike the term. It seems painful that she'd string you along like that and throw that in your face. I woulda given her a big fat "Yeah, well stuff you." You don't deserve to be thrown around like that, and the tone of her voice sounds like it was a bit insensitive.

That kind of thinking, TBH, leads you to become a hypocrite. Being insensitive means to not bother to understand others, and putting on a kevlar facade falls out of the category.

But I have to agree that characters like hers tend to lead others to misunderstand. Usually people who react violently to personal issues like trust and ECRs (Extremely Close Relations) tend to be strong believers in friendship and loyalty : something erroneously misplaced in many people's EQ inventories.

Quote:

I shall probably touch on this, that girls are extremely good at manipulation. Because of the perception that girls are the weaker sex (trust me, this is NOT how I think), a girl is easily able to make you look like the bad guy. It's challenging knowing what to and not to do, especially since, as you say, it would look like you were taking advantage of her to cheat her out of her virginity. (I don't even think this makes any sense at all...)

In her case I believe otherwise. I understand what you mean, it is all part of psychological warfare, under the auspices of reverse psychology (Israel probably did the same back in 1948. but let's not go into politics).

However I don't think a girl who cuts herself extensively on her shoulders and arms is trying to demonise me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

I'm going to be honest and say you should seriously think about getting away from her. Completely. A girl who tosses around those kinds of threats so easily (and from what you've said about her, is willing to follow through with those threats) isn't worth your time. You deserve better.

Quote:

I'm gonna agree with psycho_luny, why do you bother with her anymore now? As far as I can see, she's screwed you over pretty good. I don't think you should cut yourself, that only shows you caved into her insults.

She usually throws threats, but on fulfills around 10% of it. So as long as I don't do anything funny to her sis, I get to keep myself intact.

I didn't cave in, I just let things slide because I know she can't do much to me. Most of the time, I act scared so as to see her cute face : the dumb thing about her is that she continuously heap threats at me that it loses its meaning, and yet she still continues to do so. I suppose if she knows about it, she is trying to get my attention since most guys simply fear her, she is abusive BUT she is a girl, so the guys can't hit her, and don't want to risk getting incapacitated when accidentally dissing her off.

And of all the girls, why can I only communicate with eccentric types (i.e, tsundere, emo, fujoshi) while I keep dissing off the normal ones?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ascaloth

...which one? It bugs me sometimes that I don't remember half of what I've said before.

The one about hooking me up with her imouto.

Quote:

I'd say Start New Game, pal. If you want an alternative high-risk high-reward option, do the "lean in and kiss".

I think I will just get a new game altogether. Introduce me a normal female otaku?

Also, you made it sound as though that chasing a girl like that is like speculating in the futures market. So.....I have to wait for a breakout? Bollinger or EMA?

Animelover#1 · 2010-04-04, 10:37

Quote:

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

And of all the girls, why can I only communicate with eccentric types (i.e, tsundere, emo, fujoshi) while I keep dissing off the normal ones

In my opinion, Nobody is normal, as everyone is an individual. and the people who you might look at as "normal" are just that. So generally I seek out people who are different as they are more interesting people to interact and talk to with

Ascaloth · 2010-04-04, 11:32

Quote:

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

The one about hooking me up with her imouto.

So wait, she was trying to hook you up with imouto?

Quote:

I think I will just get a new game altogether. Introduce me a normal female otaku?

Pal, the typical "normal female otaku" in Singapore is a yaoi fangirl who dresses in Japanese thigh-highs kind of fashion which doesn't help to flatter their below-average looks, not to mention their general behaviour isn't exactly....attractive. Trust me, you generally don't want to have too much to deal with them.

Quote:

Also, you made it sound as though that chasing a girl like that is like speculating in the futures market. So.....I have to wait for a breakout? Bollinger or EMA?

Speculating in futures? That's probably quite an apt analogy, actually.

Haruka_Kitten · 2010-04-04, 17:37

Quote:

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

What is money when your parents work somewhere high up in the airlines?

What is money? The term has become so loose now.

Quote:

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

That kind of thinking, TBH, leads you to become a hypocrite. Being insensitive means to not bother to understand others, and putting on a kevlar facade falls out of the category.

I like to think of it as fighting fire with fire, it's probably the only way you'll get any sort of understanding from her. Controversial move it is, though, as it lowers you to their level, but probably the only way you'll get your message successfully across is with a bit of agression (not too much though).

Quote:

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

And of all the girls, why can I only communicate with eccentric types (i.e, tsundere, emo, fujoshi) while I keep dissing off the normal ones?

Allow me to burst that bubble (especially since we've been bursting this one a lot in Literacy classes), but there is no such thing as a normal anything. You cannot have a normal girl/guy, normal house, normal car, normal anything. It's all different. If you're thinking of normal as in what is publicly perceived as acceptable for the outside world, that constitutes what normal means to everyone else. There will always be that little bit of standing-outness in everyone. Take some high-class, white-collar worker in a good, expensive office with enough cash to start a small country again. I bet when everyone's gone home, he still watches children's TV programmes, still wishes he could fly, and maybe, just maybe...wants to jump from behind the bush and yell "Surprise!".

Quote:

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

I think I will just get a new game altogether. Introduce me a normal female otaku?

Sorry, had to. Again, no such thing as normal.

yoropa · 2010-04-04, 21:21

So I thought a vacation would be good for me to stop thinking about this girl. Went out of town for a while, limited internet access, lots of distractions, a bunch of cousins and their friends to chill with, you know the ideal situation to forget about stuff.

Really didn't work. I have school tomorrow and chances are I will run into her. Along with other reasons, making me dread school.

On a side note, something interesting happened during my little vacation far away from home. A girl entered the house I was in (which belonged to my cousins) and she was one of their friends. She was in glasses and had no makeup on and was shocked to see a new guy, me, in there. The next day she came back in, this time without glasses, with makeup on, and was talking to my aunt about her perfume, all whilst slowly trying to approach me.

Now here's the thing. I don't like it when a girl thinks she has to layer herself with cosmetics to be beautiful. I would take the real girl with no makeup and glasses over the fake one any day, easily. Second, I don't have a sense of smell, so that perfume thing was just useless. Third, I live pretty far away from her. Fourth, I already have a girl I'm interested in.

So I feel kinda bad since I suddenly left that area to return back home her. Hope that girl didn't come back again, wearing her cosmetics, hoping to see me, because I'm way far away from there now. But still, it's really sad something like that happened. Maybe it's just me exaggerating what I observed (she might not have actually been interested in), but I don't like being admired in that light since I can never fulfill any expectations like that.

That's long gone and doesn't matter anymore though. I have to focus on the life ahead of me. But it's weird, that trip did do one thing positive for me. It garnered me a lot more self-respect. I went through it willingly admitting that I was a nerd and a geek to the younger cousins and their friends, and found myself suddenly the comedy star of the neighborhood (I'm funny? What?)

I received word today from my family that me not being there actually made the younger kids (ages 7-13) cry. The only way I know this improved me positively is that today is one of the few days I have not actually considered suicide. Am I becoming optimistic and self-approving? What is this shit!?

But I feel like that may help me in the end, even if I never proclaim love to this girl.

Haruka_Kitten · 2010-04-04, 22:30

Well said, Arbitres. Makes me want to cry reading it (I'd give rep, but I have to spread some around before I can rep another one of your posts again).

Which has bought me to finally bring up this rather small (yet big) issue I have. I wanted to avoid it just in case it sounded like I was trying to steal limelight. Therefore, I have wrapped it up in spoiler tags below:

Spoiler for move along, you don't need to read this if you don't want to:

About 2 weeks ago after I was semi-slapped in the face by my ex, at around the same time a good friend of mine and her male friend thought it'd be funny to cosplay as cats and head to Melbourne city for a weekend, when there was no comicon events going on at the time. The reaction from the public was great, and when I was told about it, they showed me some photos of them together. The following Monday, this friend of mine turns up to school wearing a collar (with a small bell on it) and I spent most of the day playing with it, much to her annoyance. I decided I too would buy one, and did. She also told me that this friend she took out to Melbourne that weekend was a homosexual, and I brushed it off, because at the time I was still straight and had no problems.

Wearing that collar to school is what made me lose my conservatism, my "mild-mannerism". I was no longer that kid at the back of the classroom who didn't give a stuff, but drawing positive attention. Most of the people in my classes liked the new look anyway. For that, I thanked my good friend, and got in touch with the guy.

Well, I bought a bigger collar, and he agreed to help me make it fit better (the pre-punched holes weren't fitted for my neck), and get the bell off the cat collar too. I stayed a bit longer at his place to watch some movies, and went home, got on MSN, and spent a good 4 hours talking to him.

That's when it hit me in the face. I thought, "I'm telling him more than I tell others." I only just met the guy, and I was saying all sorts of stuff to him about myself. I sort of figured I may actually like him, which is a first for me.

Next morning, I found myself talking to him on Messenger again, I said I had something to tell him...and after about 3 or so hours of really random conversation (involving a Scania bus, food, Top Gear and a mobile phone) I finally pulled myself together and said I liked him. He actually agreed with me, and said he felt the same way about me too.

1) It's a toughie. I do like him, and to me he has the good qualities of both my exes in one person. In fact, it's only the fact that he is a guy that had me worried slightly, but now I really don't care.
2) Even though I have no qualms about what I'm getting myself into, I can only imagine the reaction from the students at school when I go back next week. A few of the problematic ones already gave me their useless as junk reaction on the collar, so I'm not expecting it to be something that'll get me looked at the same by my classmates.

As I weigh up, it's sort of even even. I do like this guy, I'm just wanting to know what people think.

RadiantBeam · 2010-04-04, 22:43

Quote:

Originally Posted by Harufox

Well said, Arbitres. Makes me want to cry reading it (I'd give rep, but I have to spread some around before I can rep another one of your posts again).

Which has bought me to finally bring up this rather small (yet big) issue I have. I wanted to avoid it just in case it sounded like I was trying to steal limelight. Therefore, I have wrapped it up in spoiler tags below:

Spoiler for move along, you don't need to read this if you don't want to:

About 2 weeks ago after I was semi-slapped in the face by my ex, at around the same time a good friend of mine and her male friend thought it'd be funny to cosplay as cats and head to Melbourne city for a weekend, when there was no comicon events going on at the time. The reaction from the public was great, and when I was told about it, they showed me some photos of them together. The following Monday, this friend of mine turns up to school wearing a collar (with a small bell on it) and I spent most of the day playing with it, much to her annoyance. I decided I too would buy one, and did. She also told me that this friend she took out to Melbourne that weekend was a homosexual, and I brushed it off, because at the time I was still straight and had no problems.

Wearing that collar to school is what made me lose my conservatism, my "mild-mannerism". I was no longer that kid at the back of the classroom who didn't give a stuff, but drawing positive attention. Most of the people in my classes liked the new look anyway. For that, I thanked my good friend, and got in touch with the guy.

Well, I bought a bigger collar, and he agreed to help me make it fit better (the pre-punched holes weren't fitted for my neck), and get the bell off the cat collar too. I stayed a bit longer at his place to watch some movies, and went home, got on MSN, and spent a good 4 hours talking to him.

That's when it hit me in the face. I thought, "I'm telling him more than I tell others." I only just met the guy, and I was saying all sorts of stuff to him about myself. I sort of figured I may actually like him, which is a first for me.

Next morning, I found myself talking to him on Messenger again, I said I had something to tell him...and after about 3 or so hours of really random conversation (involving a Scania bus, food, Top Gear and a mobile phone) I finally pulled myself together and said I liked him. He actually agreed with me, and said he felt the same way about me too.

1) It's a toughie. I do like him, and to me he has the good qualities of both my exes in one person. In fact, it's only the fact that he is a guy that had me worried slightly, but now I really don't care.
2) Even though I have no qualms about what I'm getting myself into, I can only imagine the reaction from the students at school when I go back next week. A few of the problematic ones already gave me their useless as junk reaction on the collar, so I'm not expecting it to be something that'll get me looked at the same by my classmates.

As I weigh up, it's sort of even even. I do like this guy, I'm just wanting to know what people think.

I'd say give it some time, see if the feeling lasts. The problem with liking someone that quickly and wanting to take it further is that it might end up only being a strong crush or infatuation, and fades after several weeks or so. So, I'd say consider it carefully and give some time to thinking about it, get to know him better and talk to him a little longer, before you ultimately decide on anything.

Haruka_Kitten · 2010-04-04, 23:07

Quote:

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

I'd say give it some time, see if the feeling lasts. The problem with liking someone that quickly and wanting to take it further is that it might end up only being a strong crush or infatuation, and fades after several weeks or so. So, I'd say consider it carefully and give some time to thinking about it, get to know him better and talk to him a little longer, before you ultimately decide on anything.

I was thinking about a bit of time. At least a few weeks to a month.

SaintessHeart · 2010-04-04, 23:34

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ascaloth

So wait, she was trying to hook you up with imouto?

Apparently yes. She says "I am the perfect guy for her, though a little gay". *facepalm*

Quote:

Pal, the typical "normal female otaku" in Singapore is a yaoi fangirl who dresses in Japanese thigh-highs kind of fashion which doesn't help to flatter their below-average looks, not to mention their general behaviour isn't exactly....attractive. Trust me, you generally don't want to have too much to deal with them.

That is why I put "normal" in front of the words "female otaku". Yaoi fandom is okay for me...as long as I don't set scenes for them (both the sisters like yaoi actually... quite scary if you think about it. They think that it's cute). Unline Yuri, Yaoi is very wrong and disgusting IRL, but in anime it should be fine.

Regarding zettai ryouiki, most girls here cannot get the perfect proportion of knee to bottom of skirt/top of skirt to top of socks = 1.4 to phi, despite the school system of teaching maths. I think I will just stick to 2D girls.

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Speculating in futures? That's probably quite an apt analogy, actually.

I was thinking about the R-R factor (Risk-Reward).

At any rate, I am washing my hands out of this. Hopefully I can still act as an older brother to that imouto and a friend to that madwoman.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Harufox

I was thinking about a bit of time. At least a few weeks to a month.

If you take a photo of him and you together, you would probably receive reps from all the female members in this forum.

But seriously, you should think through it before taking your next step.

~~Tsuyoshi~~ · 2010-04-05, 01:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

Apparently yes. She says "I am the perfect guy for her, though a little gay". *facepalm*

I'll admit, the fact you're doing all you can not to hook up with her little sister is making you pass as someone like that. But at least the fact that she's trying to do that means she doesn't think so badly of you either and the threats she sends you aren't meaningful, or she hates her sister that badly as well (though that doesn't seem to be the case). But still, whether the sister is mental or not, you ought to stop thinking she's cute when she's angry

Quote:

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

That is why I put "normal" in front of the words "female otaku". Yaoi fandom is okay for me...as long as I don't set scenes for them (both the sisters like yaoi actually... quite scary if you think about it. They think that it's cute). Unline Yuri, Yaoi is very wrong and disgusting IRL, but in anime it should be fine.

I'd like to argue with you on that. Both are types of same sex activities and it's a little hypocritical for people (not neccessarily you) to say that, but I'll save the discussion since it doesn't belong here.

Quote:

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

At any rate, I am washing my hands out of this. Hopefully I can still act as an older brother to that imouto and a friend to that madwoman.

So what's your opinion exactly? Do you like her or do you think she's mental and want to prevent getting too close to her? Because if it's both, I'd almost think you're some kind of masochist

Kafriel · 2010-04-05, 04:57

Quote:

I finally pulled myself together and said I liked him.

Make sure to say in what way, wouldn't want a misunderstanding now....well, I got my share of homo friends, although we don't even need to talk about it - we're good friends, but they know I'm straight, so they do their best to make me feel at ease, as do I.

Quote:

Risk-Reward

Try making a list of those...bet 10 to 1 the risks dominate

Nogitsune · 2010-04-05, 05:13

Quote:

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

Unline Yuri, Yaoi is very wrong and disgusting IRL, but in anime it should be fine.

...What?
Please tell me you didn't mean it. That sounds indeed pretty hypocritical, not to mention incredibly offensive.

SaintessHeart · 2010-04-05, 07:02

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yoko Takeo

I'll admit, the fact you're doing all you can not to hook up with her little sister is making you pass as someone like that. But at least the fact that she's trying to do that means she doesn't think so badly of you either and the threats she sends you aren't meaningful, or she hates her sister that badly as well (though that doesn't seem to be the case). But still, whether the sister is mental or not, you ought to stop thinking she's cute when she's angry

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So what's your opinion exactly? Do you like her or do you think she's mental and want to prevent getting too close to her? Because if it's both, I'd almost think you're some kind of masochist

She is crazy, but I do like her because she knows what is honesty and trust, and has the guts to stand up for her friends.

Though I would prefer if she is less abusive towards me. Otherwise, her good points certainly outweigh her general behaviour towards other people. Plus, her softer side makes her look cute, though only her close friends see that.

Now that you have pointed out about the hating her sister part, I have a new thing to tease her with : by calling her a siscon.

Wish me luck that I don't die or be permanently paralysed.

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I'd like to argue with you on that. Both are types of same sex activities and it's a little hypocritical for people (not neccessarily you) to say that, but I'll save the discussion since it doesn't belong here.

It is a personal opinion so you can feel free to ignore that. Too bad for anyone else who thinks it is hypocritical and offensive and wants to pick a fight.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kafriel

Try making a list of those...bet 10 to 1 the risks dominate

Yes, and I would probably die before I can claim my winnings.

Nogitsune · 2010-04-05, 08:05

Quote:

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

It is a personal opinion so you can feel free to ignore that. Too bad for anyone else who thinks it is hypocritical and offensive and wants to pick a fight.

Pick a fight?
I'm sorry, but if you suddenly make such a statement you have to expect that someone will be taken aback and go into discussion mode. I don't care if you don't want to see two guys making out - that's your right. But saying that it's inherintly wrong and disgusting does ineed not sit well with me.
I'm not trying to pick a fight, I just don't understand how two guys making out can be "wrong" while to girls making out is perfectly acceptable. You don't have to answer, but please don't talk over my head and make it sound like I'm waiting for a chance to jump at you and throw insults.

RadiantBeam · 2010-04-05, 09:06

Quote:

Originally Posted by Harufox

I was thinking about a bit of time. At least a few weeks to a month.

Well, I still say think about it pretty carefully and be absolutely sure of yourself before you decide on what to do. The worst thing that can happen is that you end up on shaky ground with a good friend because you didn't look before you leaped.

SaintessHeart · 2010-04-05, 10:07

Here is something interesting by an actress named Aya Sugimoto....

Spoiler for TL : slightly NSFW, courtesy Sankaku:

Q: I found a lot of ecchi PC games featuring bondage, confinement and SM hidden away in my boyfriend’s room.

He’s always kind to me, but before there were cases of criminals with these kinds of maniacal tastes, so I was pretty shocked.

My boyfriend isn’t normal is he!? I don’t know how to deal with this…

- A 21-year-old female student.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A: Something like this is just a matter of taste.

Deciding your boyfriend is abnormal based on something like this is just unfair to him.

Those kinds of incidents do make people look at SM fans like they are dangerous criminals, but to people engaged in SM play, it really is just “play,” and those incidents are on a completely different level. There are people who can’t make that distinction and call for BDSM games to be banned too, but that’s pure nonsense.

Enjoying unhealthy fantasies is what adults do.

Your boyfriend was just enjoying a simple fantasy, wasn’t he? The real issue is not his fantasies, but your paranoia about them!

He was just hiding his tastes from you to avoid causing any issues. What’d you think of a guy who introduced himself to you like this: “Hi, I’m into BDSM slave domination games!”?

Finding out each other’s lusts gradually through spending more and more nights together – that’s how an adult couple blossoms sexually, isn’t it?

There are of course lots of couples who never show their true selves to one another, but such relationships are incredibly shallow in the end.

Even if your tastes and his tastes don’t match, if you love your partner then you should make the effort to understand their tastes.

You might be a bit put out by his taste for SM, but there’s no shortage of women who are really into that sort of thing. However, society generally tells them a woman shouldn’t be seeking that kind of thing out.

In fact, having the innermost desires you didn’t even realise you had awakened is the greatest! You can come to understand one another and share a fantasy together.

With this, the junk sex you’re having just to satisfy your lust can advance to become truly psychologically fulfilling sex!

To conclude, there’s no need to repress yourself sexually just because you’re a woman – try making an effort to understand your man’s desires. If he’s kind to why on earth would you need to worry about him imprisoning you as a sex slave?

Of course, you should also tell him what you want. Spend some time at it, I’d love to see you develop a deeper and more intimate relationship together.

Minus a few other parts, the bolded lines are rather true. And I lol-ed at the red bolded line.

yoropa · 2010-04-05, 14:40

Didn't expect my happiness and positive energy I had yesterday to die miserably in a fire storm today. Luckily it's unrelated to this infatuation of mine. I didn't really see her today much, but tomorrow chances are I'll be able to spend some time with her.

At least the sakura are in full bloom over here, makes the scenery at least a little prettier.

2010-04-04, 22:30	Link #4089
Haruka_Kitten The AnimeSuki Pet kitten IT Support Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: A furry den Age: 30	Well said, Arbitres. Makes me want to cry reading it (I'd give rep, but I have to spread some around before I can rep another one of your posts again). Which has bought me to finally bring up this rather small (yet big) issue I have. I wanted to avoid it just in case it sounded like I was trying to steal limelight. Therefore, I have wrapped it up in spoiler tags below: Spoiler for move along, you don't need to read this if you don't want to: About 2 weeks ago after I was semi-slapped in the face by my ex, at around the same time a good friend of mine and her male friend thought it'd be funny to cosplay as cats and head to Melbourne city for a weekend, when there was no comicon events going on at the time. The reaction from the public was great, and when I was told about it, they showed me some photos of them together. The following Monday, this friend of mine turns up to school wearing a collar (with a small bell on it) and I spent most of the day playing with it, much to her annoyance. I decided I too would buy one, and did. She also told me that this friend she took out to Melbourne that weekend was a homosexual, and I brushed it off, because at the time I was still straight and had no problems. Wearing that collar to school is what made me lose my conservatism, my "mild-mannerism". I was no longer that kid at the back of the classroom who didn't give a stuff, but drawing positive attention. Most of the people in my classes liked the new look anyway. For that, I thanked my good friend, and got in touch with the guy. Well, I bought a bigger collar, and he agreed to help me make it fit better (the pre-punched holes weren't fitted for my neck), and get the bell off the cat collar too. I stayed a bit longer at his place to watch some movies, and went home, got on MSN, and spent a good 4 hours talking to him. That's when it hit me in the face. I thought, "I'm telling him more than I tell others." I only just met the guy, and I was saying all sorts of stuff to him about myself. I sort of figured I may actually like him, which is a first for me. Next morning, I found myself talking to him on Messenger again, I said I had something to tell him...and after about 3 or so hours of really random conversation (involving a Scania bus, food, Top Gear and a mobile phone) I finally pulled myself together and said I liked him. He actually agreed with me, and said he felt the same way about me too. 1) It's a toughie. I do like him, and to me he has the good qualities of both my exes in one person. In fact, it's only the fact that he is a guy that had me worried slightly, but now I really don't care. 2) Even though I have no qualms about what I'm getting myself into, I can only imagine the reaction from the students at school when I go back next week. A few of the problematic ones already gave me their useless as junk reaction on the collar, so I'm not expecting it to be something that'll get me looked at the same by my classmates. As I weigh up, it's sort of even even. I do like this guy, I'm just wanting to know what people think. __________________ Visit the blog of the Unspoken Youth "That bus! It has an awesome ring to it!"

2010-04-05, 10:07	Link #4099
SaintessHeart NYAAAAHAAANNNNN~ Join Date: Nov 2007 Age: 35	Here is something interesting by an actress named Aya Sugimoto.... Spoiler for TL : slightly NSFW, courtesy Sankaku: Q: I found a lot of ecchi PC games featuring bondage, confinement and SM hidden away in my boyfriend’s room. He’s always kind to me, but before there were cases of criminals with these kinds of maniacal tastes, so I was pretty shocked. My boyfriend isn’t normal is he!? I don’t know how to deal with this… - A 21-year-old female student. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ A: Something like this is just a matter of taste. Deciding your boyfriend is abnormal based on something like this is just unfair to him. Those kinds of incidents do make people look at SM fans like they are dangerous criminals, but to people engaged in SM play, it really is just “play,” and those incidents are on a completely different level. There are people who can’t make that distinction and call for BDSM games to be banned too, but that’s pure nonsense. Enjoying unhealthy fantasies is what adults do. Your boyfriend was just enjoying a simple fantasy, wasn’t he? The real issue is not his fantasies, but your paranoia about them! He was just hiding his tastes from you to avoid causing any issues. What’d you think of a guy who introduced himself to you like this: “Hi, I’m into BDSM slave domination games!”? Finding out each other’s lusts gradually through spending more and more nights together – that’s how an adult couple blossoms sexually, isn’t it? There are of course lots of couples who never show their true selves to one another, but such relationships are incredibly shallow in the end. Even if your tastes and his tastes don’t match, if you love your partner then you should make the effort to understand their tastes. You might be a bit put out by his taste for SM, but there’s no shortage of women who are really into that sort of thing. However, society generally tells them a woman shouldn’t be seeking that kind of thing out. In fact, having the innermost desires you didn’t even realise you had awakened is the greatest! You can come to understand one another and share a fantasy together. With this, the junk sex you’re having just to satisfy your lust can advance to become truly psychologically fulfilling sex! To conclude, there’s no need to repress yourself sexually just because you’re a woman – try making an effort to understand your man’s desires. If he’s kind to why on earth would you need to worry about him imprisoning you as a sex slave? Of course, you should also tell him what you want. Spend some time at it, I’d love to see you develop a deeper and more intimate relationship together. Minus a few other parts, the bolded lines are rather true. And I lol-ed at the red bolded line. __________________ When three puppygirls named after pastries are on top of each other, it is called Eclair a'la menthe et Biscotti aux fraises avec beaucoup de Ricotta sur le dessus. Most of all, you have to be disciplined and you have to save, even if you hate our current financial system. Because if you don't save, then you're guaranteed to end up with nothing. Last edited by SaintessHeart; 2010-04-05 at 10:26. Reason: it isn't right to feed the spark with fuel.

2010-04-04, 21:21	Link #4088
yoropa Director Join Date: Feb 2010	So I thought a vacation would be good for me to stop thinking about this girl. Went out of town for a while, limited internet access, lots of distractions, a bunch of cousins and their friends to chill with, you know the ideal situation to forget about stuff. Really didn't work. I have school tomorrow and chances are I will run into her. Along with other reasons, making me dread school. On a side note, something interesting happened during my little vacation far away from home. A girl entered the house I was in (which belonged to my cousins) and she was one of their friends. She was in glasses and had no makeup on and was shocked to see a new guy, me, in there. The next day she came back in, this time without glasses, with makeup on, and was talking to my aunt about her perfume, all whilst slowly trying to approach me. Now here's the thing. I don't like it when a girl thinks she has to layer herself with cosmetics to be beautiful. I would take the real girl with no makeup and glasses over the fake one any day, easily. Second, I don't have a sense of smell, so that perfume thing was just useless. Third, I live pretty far away from her. Fourth, I already have a girl I'm interested in. So I feel kinda bad since I suddenly left that area to return back home her. Hope that girl didn't come back again, wearing her cosmetics, hoping to see me, because I'm way far away from there now. But still, it's really sad something like that happened. Maybe it's just me exaggerating what I observed (she might not have actually been interested in), but I don't like being admired in that light since I can never fulfill any expectations like that. That's long gone and doesn't matter anymore though. I have to focus on the life ahead of me. But it's weird, that trip did do one thing positive for me. It garnered me a lot more self-respect. I went through it willingly admitting that I was a nerd and a geek to the younger cousins and their friends, and found myself suddenly the comedy star of the neighborhood (I'm funny? What?) I received word today from my family that me not being there actually made the younger kids (ages 7-13) cry. The only way I know this improved me positively is that today is one of the few days I have not actually considered suicide. Am I becoming optimistic and self-approving? What is this shit!? But I feel like that may help me in the end, even if I never proclaim love to this girl.

2010-04-05, 14:40	Link #4100
yoropa Director Join Date: Feb 2010	Didn't expect my happiness and positive energy I had yesterday to die miserably in a fire storm today. Luckily it's unrelated to this infatuation of mine. I didn't really see her today much, but tomorrow chances are I'll be able to spend some time with her. At least the sakura are in full bloom over here, makes the scenery at least a little prettier.