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Old 2014-03-23, 06:13   Link #51101
demino_hellsin
That one guy
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
*shrug*

GN drives actually used real science. Theoretical they may be, still somewhat accepted science.
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Old 2014-03-23, 06:25   Link #51102
ZeroXSEED
I am no one
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Inside your head
Funny thing, when it comes to GN drive, it's waste emission is what made it great

That's why GN-Tau require electricity, it's literally a net-loss powerplant.
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Old 2014-03-23, 07:50   Link #51103
Rokumonsen
Fear the Spear
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Osaka Castle
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fireminer View Post
Say, anyone has seen the new PV of Kamen Rider Taisen? I posted it on the Social Group.
I've seen it. And I'm really surprised to see Suika Yoroi Mode flying.

Quote:
Originally Posted by demino_hellsin View Post
Okay... Sengoku Ryoma just beat Tabane in "The most fucked up power suit that has no side-effects ever" contest.

Seriously? You don't have to eat or drink while wearing it? O.o
It's official. Lockseeds are on the same hax level as the IS Cores or GN Drives.

---

BTT, what are the requirements for an IS pilot to qualify for the Mondo Grosso? I'm sure the committee has their standards, eh?
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Old 2014-03-23, 07:56   Link #51104
Fireminer
Lumine Passio
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Hanoi, Vietnam
Age: 12
Quote:
"Am I... human?" An empty question, just like how Ichika is now.

Silence, just silence answers to his void.

"ANSWER ME!" Ichika forcefully shaking his his sister. Her sob only getting louder.

"Ichika!"

"Stay out of this, Dan!"His face twists into a savage rage. "Answer me, sister! AM I HUMAN?"

"N... Not... really..."

*GRRRAAAAHHHH!*

He lets out a soul-piercing dream. The room vibrates with his anguish. Terror fills the face of Tabane and Dan, as Ichika ripping the medical tube from his arm. The canary-yellow substance drips down, mix up with red dots.

"I... Ik-kun... What are you doing?!"

"... Die... again..." But on his first step, Ichika falls down on the metal floor.

*THUD!*

Despite the arching body, Ichika keeps crawling forward with his arms. Behind his is a thin, but visible string of blood. He is a wounded beast, limping to its den for a peaceful death.

But where is his home?

("Nowhere... Not in this world...")

His mind slowly becomes blurry. By a suicidal will, he raises his almost paralyzed arm toward a white door.

("Almost there...")

But before he could grasp his eternal rest, the door opened. Behind it, Ichika's nightmare stands tall.

"N... o! NOOO!"

"Ik-kun! Stay calm!"

"NO! LET THAT MONSTER AWAY FROM ME!"

"... So, you don't remember me?"

("Wait!... That is not her...")

"Are you... Chifuyu Orimura? The real Chifuyu Orimura?"

"Yes."

It's not the Devil that is standing in front of Ichika. Their face is really similar, but this deep, charisma voice is a stark contrast to the cold tone that of the Unknown. This is no doubt Chifuyu, the last descendant of the Orimura Shinkage-ryu (Orimura New Shadow School).

The man looks around. It's the eyes of an eagle, seeing through everything in one gaze. Ichika feels his body slighty electrified, and he tenses up a bit. Chifuyu simply tosses some thing to the boy under him.

"Here." Ichika examine the object. It's a single-edge dagger, about 1 Shaku in length. The hilt is a simple piece of bamboo. Cold steel underneath his palm makes Ichika shivers. The knife is stored in a sheath also made of bamboo. A Tantō for his Seppuku.

"... Thank you..." The boy painfully folds his legs underneath his thighs. But just as Ichika put his left hand on the sheath, Chifuyu speaks:

"What a shame..."

"Huh?"

"To think that the legendary blade has gone through the hand of this wimp." Chifuyu unsheathed the Yawarakai-Te. The metal reflects Chifuyu's emotionless eyes, as well as Ichika's desperate look.

"Better to be scrap metal than a masterless sword." With that, Chifuyu breaks the katana between his index, ring and middles fingers.

*CLANG!*

Ichika's eyes fixated on two pieces of iron lay on the floor. Something has broken inside him, together with his family heirloom.

"No! NO! NO!"
Any thought?
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Old 2014-03-23, 08:13   Link #51105
demino_hellsin
That one guy
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
can't even finish half of it due to lack of context and nothing that really pins my interest of why I should care if he's human, suffering or 8 kinds of fucked over by the world.

It doesn't help that I don't really like Ichika.
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Old 2014-03-23, 08:17   Link #51106
Fireminer
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Hanoi, Vietnam
Age: 12
So, suggestion?

Have been experimenting a new form of writing.
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Old 2014-03-23, 08:40   Link #51107
demino_hellsin
That one guy
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
subtle context clues. So he's in a hospital, and for some reason terrified of Chifuyu or someone who looks like Chifuyu or should be Chifuyu or isn't. Something's wrong with him and he wants to die. Why? A monster is too vague. Why is he a monster? No need to outright say it. Having yellow fluid as his blood? Makes no sense to me. Part IS? Clone? Designer baby? Ramp up the mystery by building up to something. It feels kind of like you're running the scene flat and then just spike the drama at the end.
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Old 2014-03-23, 08:56   Link #51108
ZeroXSEED
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Join Date: Apr 2010
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The amount of WTF can be excused because it's a snippet

But if you want complete dissection, fleshed draft is preferable
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Old 2014-03-23, 09:14   Link #51109
Fireminer
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Hanoi, Vietnam
Age: 12
Have you guys read my Infinitus Potentia?

Gosh!

Basically, an alien run its spear through Ichika heart.

The reasons why he want to sucide:

- As a firm Shinto follower, he considers himself an abomination - actually, his distaste for technology is what caused the rift between him and his sister.

- He scares of the mysterious Unknown, which is the female version of this world Chifuyu. I'm building an Ichika who never has suffered a real defeat in battle suddenly fall. Very easily.
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Old 2014-03-23, 09:16   Link #51110
Fireminer
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Join Date: Jul 2013
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Age: 12
The background: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/1008545...nitus-Potentia
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Old 2014-03-23, 09:17   Link #51111
demino_hellsin
That one guy
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
you're on your own little pony. That's something I won't even touch with a 12 foot pole.
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Old 2014-03-23, 09:23   Link #51112
Akisa Akimune
L'anticipation du pouvoir
 
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Nowhere and everywhere
Miner
You're a sadist who loves yaoi... Me too. Let's start a club!

Edit: Don't pay attention to this, I'm really, truly tired....

Btw, for Infinite Potentia, I think it'd be better if Ichika doesn't have a hero-syndrome, if you see what I mean.
I read so many fanfic with the MC who has it. In the end, the MC doesn't have a personnality anymore. He is just a copy and paste of major hero.
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Old 2014-03-23, 09:37   Link #51113
Fireminer
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Age: 12
Well.. He is not a man driven by ideal, after all. Just want to keep the world same as before.

Not to mention you can play hero when fighting on three sides: the Alien, opposite human foes, and girls ready to wage a war for him.

And demino, meaning? Am I that suck? And not a pony.
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Old 2014-03-23, 09:48   Link #51114
demino_hellsin
That one guy
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
I just don't work the premise. Kind of not my thing I guess. I don't read muv-luv nor have I seen gunbuster for a reason. Hell I barely survived Yukikaze and Fafner... though I may be a masochist because I'm overjoyed of Fafner having more releases. BUT STILL! I'm not really into the whole xeno-alien thingamajig.

Pony because you're using Amuro's unicorn emblem.
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Old 2014-03-23, 09:52   Link #51115
Fireminer
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That is not a PONY!

Beside, that is not really alien. Just a creation of Ichika's great grandfather's half sister - or Chifuyu's great grandmother.
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Old 2014-03-23, 10:04   Link #51116
ZeroXSEED
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Inside your head
Too dark, don't read.

Sorry
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Old 2014-03-23, 10:07   Link #51117
Fireminer
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Pah!

Your choice.

Oh well, at least everything makes sense.

Say, progress on GBF?
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Old 2014-03-23, 10:16   Link #51118
blitz1/2
Tenshi's Defense Squadron
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Fighting against those who oppress the system
Quote:
Originally Posted by demino_hellsin View Post
*shrug*

GN drives actually used real science. Theoretical they may be, still somewhat accepted science.
You're kidding right?

Gn particles is like the ultimate mary sue device.

It's a source of power, propulsion, acts as a catalyst for human evolution, allows people to communicate telepathically and it allows for some mechs to quantimise (w.e, can't spell)
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Old 2014-03-23, 10:20   Link #51119
demino_hellsin
That one guy
 
 
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GN particles is bastardized higg's boson. It can do pretty much everything GN particles do apparently. Except spur human evolution.

GN particles aren't power source. It's gamma radiation being generated in along with the GN particles.

Propulsion, well I guess it can act like a gas. But mostly it causes magnetic field interference that screws with how matter interacts with gravity.

Quantization is bull... That's a whole different animal.
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Old 2014-03-23, 10:21   Link #51120
Fireminer
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Not to mention Quantum Jump.
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