Nanoha FanFiction Discussion

[DezoPenguin]

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

My wife and I just got back from my parents, then got into our presents from each other, and then here I go on-line and find all these great Christmas fanfics. Thanks, everybody, and happy holidays!

Edit: Page claim for being too stuffed with turkey to realize that I should be page-claiming!

[Hiria]

Originally Posted by Allquall

Merry Christmas, FFT.

Spoiler for Christmas Cruff:

Fate pulled into the driveway and stared at the darkened house through the clumps of falling snow.

“Beautiful,” she said as the snow silently piled onto her lawn, but in the back of her mind she worried that she might have trouble leaving in the morning if too much fell tonight. She stared longingly at the old house, since it was their last night there. She and Nanoha had finally received the much-needed transfer to a base closer to unadministered planet ninety-three, and now they could be forever rid of the house where the roof had at least one leak and every weekend had at least one house project to work on. It was such a money-pit; yet, it looked beautiful in the snow.

She opened the driver side door and picked up the cardboard carrier that contained two steaming travel cups from the passenger seat. Fate shivered and hissed when the cold wind blasted her as she stepped away from the vehicle.

“So…cold…” she said through her clenched teeth. The wind blew even harder as if challenged by the comment, and Fate stiffly jogged to the front door with her thick scarf obscuring most of her vision while trying not to spill the two cups. She bounced while trying to fish her keys from her pocket and the wind blew her hair from the back.

She had to lean against the front door to shut it against the howling winter wind and she set the cup carrier on a taped-up box as she removed her hat and scarf while brushing the snow from her long, frozen blond hair. She shuddered as she started to peel away her heavy winter coat.

“Nanoha, why is it the same temperature inside as it is outside?”

“The heater broke again!” replied Nanoha’s muffled voice from somewhere within the house.

“Hon, where are you?”

“In here!”

“A bit more specific?” asked Fate as she navigated her way past the piles of taped boxes.

The movers wouldn’t be there till the 28th, but Nanoha and Fate planned on taking Vivio to spend Christmas with Grandma Lindy. Thus, the house was packed into moving boxes and reeked of cardboard and duct tape. Fate smiled at the tiny star standing on top of the three-foot Christmas tree…standing on a taped box. Vivio wanted a Christmas tree so badly this year (because where would Santa know where to put the presents if there wasn't a tree with lights to guide him?), and Nanoha didn’t have the heart to tell the girl that it would be a hassle to have a tree shedding its prickly leaves as they tried to clean the house. That’s how they ended up with what Chrono dubbed “The Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.” It could only hold a few ornaments before leaning to a side, the string of lights threatened to burn down the house, but it made Vivio smile in wonder at such a simple thing. Thus, it made Nanoha and Fate happy.

Fate nearly tripped on another box in the dark as she tried to find Nanoha in the cold house.

“Marco,” she finally said.

“Polo,” came the reply from the dim bedroom.

Fate stepped into her bedroom and saw Nanoha huddled in the old sleeping bag. The bed had already been packed away. Her body was completely zipped in the old arctic sleeping bag with the exception of her face. Fate flipped on the overhead light and laughed at Nanoha’s nose, which was crimson with cold.

“~Nanoha the red-nosed caterpillar~” Fate sang teasingly.

“Hurry up and get in here!” demanded the frozen brunette, “I’m so cold!”

“Where’s the portable heater?”

“It’s in Vivio’s room,” said Nanoha with a sniffle.

“Why aren’t you there then?” asked Fate with an involuntary shudder, “Let’s sleep in Vivio’s room tonight.”

“She won’t let us,” replied Nanoha with a scowl, “She said that Santa wouldn’t think she’s a big girl if she has to sleep with mamas.”

Fate laughed, “Serves you right for manipulating Santa’s rules!”

“Hey! Even you have to admit that it’s kept her from walking in on us since the ‘big girls sleep in their own bed’ speech.”

“True, but including Santa in that speech was still a bit low.”

“Whatever,” huffed Nanoha, “It doesn’t matter now, so hurry up and get in here. I want your warm!”

“You’re such a heat zombie,” sighed Fate.

“Waaaaaaaaaaarm,” groaned Nanoha, “I want your waaaaaaaaaarm.”

“Are you sure you don’t want any hot chocolate before you steal my ‘waaaaaaarm’?” laughed Fate while holding up the steaming cups in the carrier.

“Where did you find an open coffee shop on Christmas Eve?” marveled Nanoha as she sat up still wearing the sleeping bag.

“Caught the one on the base before it closed,” smirked Fate proudly as she held out one of the hot cups in front of Nanoha’s red nose.

Two trembling hands slid out from the sides of Nanoha’s face as she grasped the hot mug and held it tight while gently touching it with her nose, “Waaaaaaarm!”

“At this rate, you’ll be drinking cold chocolate.”

“Hmmph!”

“Soooo,” asked Fate nervously, “has Santa visited yet?”

“Aw, crap!” Nanoha growled, “I’ve got to put the presents under the Charlie Brown Tree…”

Nanoha took another long sip from her cup before trying to stand up with the sleeping bag still wrapped around her.

Fate chuckled at Nanoha’s determination to keep her body heat, “You look like a giant potato!”

Nanoha glared at the laughing blond while she shuffled over to her and head butted her playfully.

Fate rubbed her forehead with a grin, “Fine, I’ll do it. Where did you hide them this year?”

Nanoha grinned and kissed Fate’s cold nose before she laid back down on the carpeted floor with her warm cup in hand, “They’re in the closet…the box next to the door.”

Fate stepped into their walk-in closet and saw an open box by the door, “The one that says ‘Christmas Crap?’ And I thought that was the old decorations box! Clever girl!” The blond pulled back the lid of the box to expose the multiple presents decorated in festive paper and bows, “Wow, Vivio cleaned up this year.”

“As did her mama…”

Fate smiled at the various boxes with her name on them. She then went to the cabinet under the bathroom sink and gathered a few presents with Nanoha’s name on them.

“Score!” the girl cocooned in the sleeping bag cheered causing the blond to snicker.

“All right! Now to be Santa-mama,” Fate teased with a determined look.

A tiny sneeze from the living room made both of them jump.

“Vivio!” gasped Nanoha recognizing the sneeze.

The brunette burst from the sleeping bag and ran into the living room closely followed by her blond partner. They tripped and stumbled on the many piles of boxes till they stood before the Charlie Brown tree and saw Vivio curled up underneath it. She had her jacket pulled over her pajamas and shivered in her sleep. Nanoha carefully picked up the trembling girl and held her close.

“Mama?” Vivio yawned while waking up.

“Did you sleepwalk, Vi?” Nanoha asked trying to warm Vivio up. Her feet were like icicles.

“N-n-n-no, “shivered Vivio in near tears, “I have to stay by the tree or else Santa won’t know where it is! He might even miss the cookies I made him!”

Nanoha and Fate looked at the fort of cardboard moving boxes surrounding the tree and groaned knowingly at each other. For the next fifteen minutes, the two of them braved the freezing living room and made a wide pathway from the front entrance-way to the pathetic tree on a box with the cookies and milk on a smaller box next to it.

“Do you think Santa will miss it now?” asked Fate panting from the late night labor.

“No,” smiled Vivio in satisfaction, “I’m going to bed, mamas, and you should too or else Santa can’t come.”

“Sir! Yes, Sir!” Nanoha saluted. Vivio giggled and skipped back into her warm bedroom.

“To be that age again,” Fate thought aloud.

“To be that warm again,” shivered Nanoha.

“Hey!” yelled Fate to the woman now pressed on her, “ At least let me stand up!”

“I want your waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarm!!!!”

NSFW: Wanwan's Omake

Spoiler for NSFW!:

Fate shivered again as she stepped out of the bathroom after brushing her teeth. She hugged her chest and rubbed her arms till she could climb into the sleeping bag with Nanoha. She tried her best not to let her ice cold feet touch the sleeping woman, but as she snuggled next to her, she realized instantly that something was amiss. Instead of the pair of old boxers and loose T-shirt that Nanoha had on earlier, Fate could only feel bare skin, and something crinkled when she slid her arm around the brunette’s waist.

“Is that a bow?” whispered Fate.

“I thought you’d like to open one of your presents early,” whispered Nanoha seductively.

Fate's embrace tightened around her lover, and their lips met in a passionate kiss.

“What do you know?” panted Fate as they parted for air, “It fits me just right.”

The kiss deepened, and Fate moved to position herself above Nanoha, “I wonder if I got this because I was nice side of Santa's list…or the naughty side?”

“I don’t know,” moaned Nanoha as pushed Fate’s head under the sleeping bag, “You better check it twice!”

WAAAAAAAAARM!!!!
Cute! ;]

Originally Posted by Satashi

Merry Christmas!!!


A Nanoha Christmas Story

Enjoy~

Quall, I loved your story <3

awwww. cute! fluffy. Nice. ^^

[Vie]

I think I'm rather too late. ^^;;;
Posted this fic on FFnet, but didn't manage to get to post about it on the thread, so here goes.

Merry day after Christmas! :P

Fic:
Fifty Sentences

[Jimmy C]

Originally Posted by satashi

A Nanoha Christmas Story

Enjoy~

It was sweet and all, yet it felt as if the heart of the party was not there. There's the buildup with everyone arriving seperately. Yet, after all are present, the gathering flashes by in just two paragraphs. All the conversations and interactions you breezed over could have been expanded into entire paragraphs showing how they're not just friends, they're family now.

Spoiler for There are also a couple of odd word choices and typos:

The position was a familiar one to them, having been taken since they were only ten years old.

I recommend "used" instead of "taken" here. I know you normally say "take a position" but it isn't appropriate here.

“You're doing so many formal meetings now with your new position teaching the elites,”

"formal functions" not "formal meetings", she'd be attending the latter in her uniform, not a dress. And "attending" not "doing".

Now being dragged along, Fate was subjected to trying to figure out how exactly the shiny new console could be hooked into Vivio's viewing screen alone with everything else she had.

"After being" not "Now being", then "along with everything" not "alone with everything".

Red eyes shined at her as another three boxes were placed on the large one.

"Shone" not "shined"

Spoiler for Typos in these lines:

she went back into the living room to find Nanoha already preparing everything for when their guest arrived.

It should be "guests" plural.

The motion lasted for a few seconds before he hyper girl moved away to greet everyone else

Should be "the hyper girl"

Yuuno contently hugging Nanoha for his present of a collection of books her had wanted for casual reading

"he had wanted"

Hayate repressed a laugh. “She's sounding like an old maid already.”

“I'm not old!” Nanoha's protest came from the yard as she was finishing.

If my impression of "old maid" is correct, Nanoha can counter that not only is she not old, but she's married already.
Speaking of which, it was odd that you didn't mention the fact that they were married until the "handed it to her wife" line. It's like you started out as if they were simply living together, then decided they were married, but did not rewrite the prior parts in light of this. The shift is very jarring.

Other than these slight matters, it's a very heartwarming fic. Good job again.

[Kaix]

Originally Posted by Vie

I think I'm rather too late. ^^;;;
Posted this fic on FFnet, but didn't manage to get to post about it on the thread, so here goes.

Merry day after Christmas! :P

Fic:
Fifty Sentences

I'll admit I'm not sure how to properly read this. If I'm reading each sentence as standalone, then they turn out as simply short and quite nice. Some of them are really heart-warming, while others give a good laugh.

However since I'm reading them one after the other my mind tries to find hidden connections between them. It makes jumping around back and forth through time a little chaotic. There's also a whole range of emotions present, but there's no time to really feel it as the next line presents a totally new idea.

It just leaves a feeling of wanting more.

[Kagerou]

The series premiere of Fon Filia 4koma, right here, right now!

Spoiler for Number 1:

[DezoPenguin]

Originally Posted by Kagerou

The series premiere of Fon Filia 4koma, right here, right now!

Spoiler for Number 1:

Very cute artwork (and funny gags for the sign in the first panel and your appearance in the last), but it has a strong feel of there being an in-joke I'm not getting...well, actually, a series of in-jokes I'm not getting (such as, what the heck does "fon filia" mean, given that it's a tag for this board...or who everybody is?).

[Kagerou]

Ah, no in jokes, really...
As for Fon Filia... Fon/Fan Filia/Fiction, get it?

Also, from left to right, before I show up:
Satashi, Saharet, Keroko, Tempest, TSS

EDIT: To clarify:

Spoiler for Cast List for Fon Filia 4koma:

Ghaz and Lanissa

[Tempy]

They could be considered in-jokes to those that do not visit the IRC chat often...

And yes, that's me wearing green.

[DezoPenguin]

Okay, gotta see if I can get this link-to-single-post thing to work, b/c I've gotten too many chapters in now to trust that everybody remembers them all.

Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3

Spoiler for Stahlkonigin--Chapter 4:

Anticipating the attack, Sergeant Avalon tried to raise a defensive barrier spell to cover the JFP agents, but it turned out to be unnecessary.

"Defenser Plus."

The bullets from the two thugs' firearms rattled against the dome of hazy yellow light that enveloped them, dropping harmlessly to the floor.

"Who did that?" Javelin barked, even as the mage-thug leveled his device at the barrier defense.

"Haken Saber."

The spinning gold arc flew out of the darkness, crashing into the mage before he could cast. Unprotected by a Barrier Jacket or automatic defensive spell, he went over at once, out of the fight.

The other fighters spun back towards the direction of the attack, weapons rising. Triggers were squeezed, sending two rapid-fire rifle bursts and a single ANT shot towards the back of the warehouse.

"Sonic Move."

In a blur, the figure rushed forward, faster than the eyes could follow, splitting the attackers so their shots went wild. She stopped only a few feet from Javelin, giving the JFP agents their first good look at her. She was a blonde, her long hair in twin pigtails, wearing a black Barrier Jacket and a full-length white cape. The device in her hands had a long handle and was in the form of a scythe with a blade of magical energy. This she swung down, not at Javelin, but at Flex, who was standing next to him.

"Haken Slash."

"Round Shield!"

A glowing blue barrier sprung up just in time to stop the scythe; the tip bit in, piercing the shield a good six inches, but not enough to get through to Flex. The police files put Javelin's bodyguard-assassin at a respectable B- rank, so the fact that this was all he could manage told the agents quite a bit about the respective power levels.

Fate Testarossa Harlaown wasn't particularly concerned with impressing her audience, though. The TSAB's elite Enforcer was well aware that in a fight with so many different factors, she didn't have time for almosts. She pulled Bardiche back, his scythe blade vanishing as she switched the Intelligent Device from Haken Form to Assault Form.

"Plasma Lancer!" she cried as the thugs spun around, weapons again tracking on her. Yellow energy blasts formed in midair and shot towards the thugs. One of the shooters and the man with the ANTs went over at once; the second rifleman dove aside but was tagged when the shot at him reversed course to take him in the back.

The shot she'd fired towards Routan, though, was stopped by a bright green shield spell that appeared at a snap of his fingers.

"Dimensional criminals Alexis Routan, Mitchell Javelin, and Carver 'Flex' Nyron, you are under arrest for trafficking in contraband arms. Surrender into custody and you will have the right to a fair trial," she challenged them. As an Enforcer she was technically supposed to make such a challenge in any case, but in this situation she also wanted to change the battle's course. Her experience with criminals of this sort was that they usually couldn't pass up an opportunity to argue back if given the chance. She wasn't disappointed.

"Well!" Javelin barked, a pleased smile on his face. "I have to say, I like the way that sounds. 'Dimensional criminal,' indeed."

"This isn't some local cop," Routan snapped. "She's a TSAB officer, Enforcement Bureau or possibly Army SIB."

"A cop is a cop, Routan. This one simply has better funding and equipment," Javelin corrected.

Fate considered possible angles of attack while they talked. Sonic Form was out so long as the JFP agents were there; at best they were C-ranked, more likely D if they were mages at all. The vulnerability of such low-level troops had already been demonstrated when Fate had taken down the enemy mage. She needed to stay in Impulse Form for the defensive ability.

The TSAB's files had put Routan at A- when he went rogue; after her engagement with Flex she was sure it was Routan who was responsible for the barrier. So, do I focus on him as the main threat, or try to take Flex out because he's weaker?

She made the decision almost as soon as she'd asked the question, beginning her next spell. Fate conjured a rune in midair before her, looking not unlike a shield, then pointed Bardiche at the center of it.

"Get set."

"Plasma Smasher!"

The blast of magic exploded towards Flex, a wave of bright blue energy swirling in flight. He tried to get up a Round Shield to protect himself, but it was simply too little, too late. The syndicate killer went down and out.

"Chain Bind!"

In the moment while Fate was recovering after the powerful casting, Routan acted. A rune formed on the ground, and chains shot up from it, fastening on her ankles.

"I'd stay and dance with you a little longer, but frankly I hate the hero/villain waltz," Routan said. He held up his right hand, the dark glove on it glittering as if green wires ran through it carrying pulses of energy, and little licks of emerald flame began to play along it. Fate knew what was coming: tie-her-down-then-break-out-the-big-gun was a classic tactic.

One that she wasn't inclined to play along with.

Bardiche's head rose and fell, loading a cartridge from the revolving cylinder within the handle.

"Haken Form."

The head tipped back, the scythe blade reappeared, and Fate swung it in a sweeping arc at the chains holding her feet.

"Inferno Reaper!"

The explosive blast of Routan's spell just missed Fate, a cannon shot of green flame not entirely different than her Plasma Smasher, except that this one was purely flame, not pseudo-elemental magic damage. No surprise; the criminal was fighting to kill.

She had his measure now, though; defense, binding, and fire-oriented shooting were his skill areas. He rather reminded her of her friend Yuuno, only a bit weaker in his defense and bindings and in that Yuuno didn't have any purely offensive magics. Either way, where he'd be weak was in close combat, an area where Fate happened to excel.

Routan took to the air at once as Fate approached. Another finger-snap conjured more chains, but she slashed them down before they could even fasten onto her. He tried to conjure more flame, but Fate was faster, snapping Bardiche's blade towards him.

"Haken Saber."

Routan aborted the fire spell to cast a Round Shield, blocking the saber, but Fate reconjured the blade and came in at close range, striking with it from a different angle. Routan's device had apparently been set up to autoguard, but the Protection spell didn't completely stop the strike; he went tumbling sideways through the air. Fate was on him again, coming down with a quick combination of strikes that he barely fended off. When she judged he was at his limit, she had Bardiche up the ante.

"Haken Slash."

Coming in from yet another angle, the spell enhanced the Haken Form's blade strikes with defense-piercing abilities. It cut through Routan's autoguard, ripped into his Barrier Jacket, and drove him down to the floor. She dove down at him, swinging Bardiche for the finishing blow. He tried to defend, but he was too off-balance from her previous attacks and a last sweep of her scythe left him unconscious.

"Nice work," Javelin announced, "and now you're going to turn it to my behalf...unless you want to see our dear friend's brains splattered all over the floor."

One of his powerful arms was locked around Lieutenant Astra's chest, while his other hand held an Orusian handgun, the barrel pressed into his hostage's ear.

"One thing I like about these mass weapons is that they're uniformly lethal. With magic damage there's always the chance that someone might fire anyway, but it's not quite so easy to justify the risks this way. My hand may slip, or even a loud voice may surprise me into firing. The explanations to the poor Lieutenant's family would--"

"Sonic Move."

Fate's magic-enhanced speed was more than enough to cover the ground between them and knock the gun up and away from Astra's head before Javelin even knew what was happening. In the next instant, Sergeant Avalon blasted him with a low-grade attack spell.

About ten seconds later, the doors crashed open and the JFP tactical troopers rushed inside, the barrier having evidently gone down when Fate had taken out its creator.

"Secure the prisoners," Fate snapped at them. "Unless you're looking for more ways that your organization can make this investigation go wrong?"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"You seem to be handling things well thus far," Marshal Sebring said approvingly. "The CCDF has been running smoothly since your takeover."

Hayate shrugged.

"General Taurus left things in good shape." Part of that was the fact that Taurus's only ambition had been to retire. Since she wasn't interested in establishing a power base, she hadn't filled CCDF with loyalists who'd oppose the new regime.

"I'm actually rather sorry that I had to tie her down for so long in an appointment she had no desire for, but...you know how it is."

Hayate crossed the room to the kitchen, the communications screen rotating to follow her. Sebring had contacted her at her home, after hours, so she felt confident in pouring herself a cup of coffee.

"I'm sure she understood. We all do our best for the TSAB and the service."

He nodded.

"Speaking of which..."

Ah, now to the point of this call.

"Yes, sir?"

"I'm informed that you intend to speak against Heimdall to the Council?"

"Yes, sir. That's why I copied you with my talking points."

"I'm not sure that I understand where you're coming from on this. This is an existing defensive system which is not only under Ground Forces jurisdiction generally but within your own office's control. Had it been in place at the time of the JS incident, matters would have played out quite differently.

Hayate nodded.

"You're wondering why I'd advocate against my own power base?"

Sebring gave her a thin smile.

"It's an unusual step for a rising administrator to take."

"I don't trust it," she said flatly. "A better coordination of efforts with the Navy would solve the problem Heimdall is meant to address without presenting the risk of misuse. I've seen the design specs, Marshal. This is an overkill solution better suited for field operations. Honestly, it shouldn't be anywhere near my command."

Sebring's eyes were thoughtful. Hayate leaned back against her counter and sipped coffee, waiting for his response.

"You've given this some thought," he said.

"Either that or I'm just such a fujoshi that I've seen the Evil Government Conspiracy misuse the things too often," she replied with a grin.

The Old Man of the Ground Forces chuckled.

"One day I may figure out why you always joke at your own expense."

"Someone has to," she said, grinning.

"And your counterproposal is detailed in the appendix?"

"Redeployment of the Heimdall units to key locations, revised budgetary estimated, and three scenarios for replacing the necessary functions within CCDF. I'm partial to option B."

"The permanent assignment of a squadron of Naval vessels to CCDF's overall command?" Sebring smiled, his crossed face wrinkling.

"The Ground Forces and Air Force do their part in defending the capital and the planet; I think it's time for the third branch to contribute more than investigative services, particularly given that Cranagan is the location of the SIB's headquaraters."

Hayate paused for a long drink.

"So I surrender a power that I don't want and am suspicious of, and then use that as a bargaining chip for what I do want," she summed up.

Her superior officer folded his hands on the desk before him, then started to laugh, shaking his head.

"I'd almost forgotten what it felt like to have someone aggressively filling that post."

"Um...thanks?"

"You're welcome--and you have my support, not that I think you'll need it." The screen shut down, leaving Hayate shaking her head, chuckling.

Bardiche got a lot of lines in that chapter...Hopefully I didn't botch any of Fate's attacks.

Oh, and while I don't come out and say it (both because I don't want to say it outright here, and because both Sebring and Hayate already know perfectly well what it is), I think that it should be comprehensible what Heimdall actually is from Hayate's comments (personally, I think the fujoshi line all but gives it away) as well as from the name, Heimdall, itself. Am I right?

[Jimmy C]

Originally Posted by DezoPenguin

Spoiler for Stahlkonigin--Chapter 4:

snipped

Nice to see a new chapter. Here's a few things.

So, do I focus on him as the main threat, or try to take Flex out because he's weaker?

Why not both at once? She can fire multiple powerful attacks simultaneously after all.

revised budgetary estimated

"Estimates" is the word you're looking for.

"The permanent assignment of a squadron of Naval vessels to CCDF's overall command?"

About time someone brought that up. It's only been what... 10 years since the JS incident? It was rather irritating that there seemed to be no Home Fleet guarding Mid from such things.

Other than that, solid work, keep it up.

[Laith]

Originally Posted by Kagerou

Spoiler for Cast List for Fon Filia 4koma:

Ghaz and Lanissa

Wait... A 4koma where i can laugh without having to suffer with them nor suffer because of them, i am not in it and i dont have to write it... d00d awesome.

Also i am catching up to my life (meaning playing videogames, watching all the videos i wanted to and most important of all sleeping) so i havent wrote something for a while, my apologies for that. (which is why i havent been in IRC too~)

[Kagerou]

Not quite Nanoha-related unless you look at only about 5 things in it. This is mostly Touhou-related. Enjoy...

Spoiler for Cirno's Last Fight:

It was supposed to be a normal day.

Marisa had felt like going for a short flight today; nothing special. No fighting, no hanging out with Alice, no stealing precious things... just a short flight through the chilly winter air.

Well, okay, Marisa was on a mission of sorts. She and Reimu had been developing new spell cards ever since the Scarlet Mansion incident, with a little input from Sakuya and Knowledge for good measure. The idea was that the girls were going to develop a new system that would finally put the humans on equal ground with the increasingly powerful youkai that they had been going up against over time. The incident with the Prism girls and later with Satori had proven that Reimu and Marisa needed a serious upgrade; even with their talent and training, the two simply were not enough to keep going, even with assistance.

The girls had created two new series of cards that they were to test out. Marisa had been given the "Devil Sign" cards, a series which complemented her specialty in ranged attacks. Today, she was to fly around, have a good time, and test them out. All in all, it was supposed to be a pretty normal day.

And then Cirno showed up.

Marisa had known that the Fairy was nearby, as the temperature had gotten colder over time at an unnatural rate. Interestingly, the little creature had yet to show up, almost as if taunting the witch. Marisa had been on her guard for the past hour or so, slowly heading to an ever colder area. Her breath seemed to crystalize in the air, and it had started snowing. As she flew through the mess, Marisa noticed a whirlwind of snow surrounding what appeared to be a pillar of ice.

She had found Cirno.

"So is this your new method of attack?" Marisa shouted. "I hope you weren't trying to scare me, because it didn't work!"

"Don't be so arrogant," Cirno's voice seemed to echo from the snow itself. "I knew you would come find me, ningen. This massive zone of cold you're in is under my control now! I've been training myself for this very moment, asked Gensokyo itself for power, and now, finally, I will prove to you that I'm stronger than I look! That I am the strongest in Gensokyo!"

---===---

"So what is this?" Marisa asked as she twirled the spell card on one finger.
"A rapid-fire, lightspeed, multi- or one-target spell," Sakuya explained. "Well, lightspeed is kind of exaggerating it, but you could say that it appears to be made out of light, just like your Spark. It's extremely fast and always finds the target you want it to, so long as you focus on it."

"So what are you designating it as?" Marisa took the card ans put it on her belt.
"...Homing laser." Sakuya said in English, although given her relatively incompetance with the language, made it sound like "Homen Layzuh".

---===---

"Just remember, you asked for this!" Marisa shouted, picking up the card and thrusting it in front of her. The card floated on its own and spun rapidly. "Devil Sign! Axel Shooter!" The Spell Card exploded into a dozen magenta beams of energy, exploding outward before turning sharply and shooting at near light-speed at the whirlwind. The blasts struck the snow, piercing it utterly, before dissipating into mana particles. "Wow..." Marisa widened her eyes. "That was impressive."

"Too bad you missed!" Came a voice from above. Marisa looked high up to see that Cirno was actually riding the fading whirlwind, and that the pillar of ice only held a now-destroyed sculpture of what Marisa assumed to be either herself (in mockery) or Cirno (in arrogance). "That was a nice spell, ningen! Now, have this! Freezing Sign, Ice Lance!"

The snow around Cirno coalesced into a giant spear-shaped icicle that instantly hurled in Marisa's direction, trailing snowflakes. Marisa erected a barrier not a second too late as the spear shattered against it, sending shrapnels of ice everywhere before reforming in a different location and slamming into the barrier again. The force exerted by the lances was great enough that it caused Marisa to fall back, each hit by a lance causing her to lose ground.

A squall shouted, and Marisa chanced a look behind her to see that the tip of her broom was being sheared off by a great barrier of icicles and snow that began to form, turning into a large dome around the two warriors. Marisa didn't have to ask what her chances of getting through that was; she didn't need to. She could tell that Cirno was indeed pulling out all the stops for this. Glaring up at the Fairy, she pushed forward as the tenth and final Ice Lance shattered against her barrier, disspelling the barrier into more mana shards that fell to the ground.

"Pretty good for a brat," Marisa taunted as she waved her hand, sending several dozen bolts of energy and two beams of light straight at the small blue fairy. Cirno merely grinned and held her arms out, conjurings shards of ice that hardened into a shield around her, causing the attack to refract harmlessly in several directions. "Oh, looks like you have gotten stronger."

Marisa was indeed impressed. The fairy glaring down at her wasn't the same one she had fought last time, and indeed showed that the small creature meant business this time. Marisa couldn't hold back if Cirno was going to play rough. Any misgivings she had about going easy on the 'bakayousei' were quickly tossed aside.

She grabbed the mini-Hakkero on her side before dismissing that thought. No, she didn't want to use so much magical power now, in case she needed it later. She instead pulled out another spell card and threw it into the air. "Since you were so kind to retaliate, have another, Cirno! Devil Sign, Photon Lancer!"

Magical currents like electricity formed around Marisa, turning into yellow arrowhead-shaped lights. She fired the bolts, sending them crashing against the ice barrier that Cirno had formed and shattering it completely, allowing room for a second salvo to slice toward Cirno. The little fairy dodged, using her small size to graze each and every shot like it was nothing. Marisa flew forward toward the pillar and rolled, firing another Plasma burst at the fairy above her, who again grazed the danmaku like it wasn't there.

"I told you, I'm stronger now!" Cirno shouted down at the witch, pulling out a spell card and holding it between her hands. "Weak attacks won't work on me anymore! Freezing Sign, Orb of Cold!" The spell card warped into a blue ball of freezing energy that cascaded snow. Cirno smiled and flip-kicked the orb downward. Marisa went to dodge but found that the Orb was tracking her.

A direct hit. Marisa gasped in pain as she was knocked off of her broom, which quickly flew down to retrieve her. Marisa blinked and rubbed at her eyes, which were blinded by the intense cold causing ice to stick to her eyelids. The Black Mage caught the broom one handed and hung from there as she looked up at the fairy through painful cold. "Damn... she scored a hit..." Marisa grunted to herself as she pulled herself back up onto her broom. "Never... expected that." Marisa gasped and doubled over, intense pain shooting through her left leg. Marisa looked and down made a face at the blood that dripped from her leg; she didn't have to ask if it was broken.

Marisa's intuition kicked in suddenly, causing her to instinctively form a barrier. Looking up, she saw another Orb of Cold crashing onto her barrier, actually freezing it at the point of impact. Marisa widened her eyes and looked up at Cirno who, despite the cold, was actually sweating, the droplets of water freezing on her skin and clothes. She's exerting herself pretty hard, and I haven't even scored a hit yet. Marisa thought, grabbing another Spell Card. If I can just keep this up, she'll exhaust herself and I'll have room for the final strike...!

---===---

"This one is a wide-area bombardment attack, Marisa," Sakuya handed the smaller girl a spell card. "We based it off of your Spark, but instead we focused the beam more. It won't explode to its widest point until after it has hit a target. This intensifies the damage, but unlike Master Spark, it won't stop incoming attacks unless they are directly within the beam."

"So basically... shoot it when you know you won't be hurt badly?"
"If at all, Marisa."

---===---

"Devil Sign!" Marisa squeezed the card in her palm, causing it to 'detonate' and form a rigid ball of energy. "Divine... Buster!"

A beam of energy sailed up at Cirno. The fairy widened her eyes, but did not change course, instead throwing out another spell card. "Freezing Sign, Polar Ray!" The spellcard morphed into a bright blue beam of ice energy that shot forward, meeting the pink beam of energy and clashing violently.

Marisa and Cirno glared as they focused their spell power into their beams, causing them to glow brightly as they clashed. Slowly, Marisa's beam began to edge out, pushing Cirno's back centimeter by centimeter as she pumped more energy into it than Cirno could hers. Marisa grinned, pulling off her Hakkero and preparing for her Spark. It was over, right here, Marisa decided. No more wasting time. Between the Love Sign and her last Devil Sign card, she had to end it now before it was too late!

A crystallizing sound caused Marisa to lose focus slightly as she looked around and gasped. More Ice Lances were forming around the witch, each one pointed directly at her. Her mouth agape in surprise, Marisa quickly did the math. Cirno was doing what Marisa was planning, and with more control. Cirno knew that she couldn't win against Marisa's spells through raw force, so the fairy was actually out-smarting the witch! The squall was also picking up, and Marisa realized that the dome was starting to shrink; Cirno was closing in the barrier around them, forcing them to fight more closely. She was hindering Marisa's evasion room, something that would kill her!

Marisa was being played; Cirno was controlling three spells at once, but given the intense look on the fairy's face, Marisa realized it must be taxing on her. Marisa quickly had to change plans. Sparking Cirno was out of the question now. Chanting softly and painfully grabbing the Spellcard from her belt, she slid it into her other hand and put the Hakkero over it. "You can't kill me that easily!" She taunted Cirno. "Love Sign, Non-Direction Laser!"

A brilliant multicolored light show flickered, and beams of energy sailed from Marisa, slicing across the lances and melting them instantly. Cirno broke the beam war and dodged, watching the Divine Buster slam and explode into her ice barrier, temporarily forming a hole in it before the ice and snow sealed it up again. Cirno gasped as she was cut by a few of the lasers, unable to dodge or graze them all, and came to a standstill.

Marisa panted. This was the hardest fight she had bee in! Was she getting rusty, or was Cirno really getting more powerful?

It didn't matter. This had to end now. "Looks like you have me at an impasse, Cirno!" Marisa said. "I have one spell left! It's gonna come down to this for me!"

"Same here," Cirno was surprisingly honest. "I guess you're right about that, Marisa. One more spell for both of us!" She grinned in such a way that it sent shivers down Marisa's spine. "What do you say, one more duel before its over?"

Marisa pulled out her final Spell Card. "Of course, I wouldn't have it any other way."

---===---

"This is the most powerful spell I could come up with for you," Reimu admitted. "I know you wanted something that was like your Spark, but this is all I could manage... although I will admit, it might actually be more powerful than that, given the right circumstances."

"How so?" Marisa took the card and stared at it. "What are the conditions?"

"This spell is what I call 'collection-type'," Reimu explained, pacing the room slightly. "Basically, it gathers up all the residual mana from the area; basically, the longer the fight is, the more powerful this spell could be. It basically encourages you to force the enemy to use up all their spell cards, then blast them with this! However... I don't know the extent or the range of the mana gathering area. It could be tens of feet... or it could gather energy from all of Gensokyo."

"Is that even possible?!"
"Don't get me wrong, Marisa, it doesn't gather *all* the energy in an area, just a certain amount. I just don't know how far that area of gathering is...""

---===---

Marisa put the card with her Hakkero just to be sure. "Devil Sign..."

Cirno tossed a card into the air. "Freezing Sign..."

"Starlight... Breaker..."
"Permafrost... Coffin..."

Both women glared at each other, and in a final howl, shouted one word.

"Shoot!"

There was a bright flash of light.

---===---

Yuka gasped and dropped the bucket she was holding. What is this... this power?!

-=-

Reimu looked up from her prayer and stared into the distance. So... this draining feeling... it must be the Starlight Breaker... She couldn't help but sigh in a mixture of emotions.

...what have I done?

-=-

Remilia turned to Sakuya, who seemed pale. "Do you feel that?"
"Feel that...?" Sakuya laughed like a frightened child. "Master... I helped create that."

-=-

Shanghai collapsed, causing Alice to gasp and pick her up. Instantly, a wave of terror crept over her. "My God... what... what is this?!"

-=-

When the light faded, Marisa's wide-eyed face stared up into the sky. The barrier keeping her in collapsed, melted, just like the snow under her. The clouds had faded, and even the light in the sky seemed dimmer somehow. "Reimu... you were wrong..." she whispered. "It doesn't just collect mana... it collects life itself... truly... this is a Devil Card."

She paused, searching around for her opponent. Surely... was she obliterated in the blast? That was likely. "Cirno? Cirno, answer me! Cirno!" The thoughts of their battle had fled her. Indeed, she was now concerned about the fairy she had been fighting. "Cirno, where are yoU?!"

Marisa looked toward the ground, and gasped. "...What have I done? Cirno!"

Marisa fell hard and hit the dirt, ignoring the pain in her broken leg, and stumbled to an ever-growing pool of blood around a small blue body. "Cirno!"

The fairy was alive... somehow, Cirno was alive. Somehow, despite having no lower half to speak of save for some spine that remained, Cirno was propping herself up on her arms, staring blanking at where her body should be. Marisa fell to her knees beside the fairy, ignoring the blood that splashed onto her knees as she stared at the fairy dumbly. "C... Cirno... hey... q-quit playing around..." Marisa reached down and grabbed one of Cirno's hands.

"I... I can't regenerate..." Cirno mumbled, staring down. She looked up at Marisa. "I... can't heal! Why...?" She stared up at Marisa, her eyes panicked. "Marisa... what's going on?!"

"I... I don't know, Cirno..." Marisa was likewise confused. She felt a buzzing, in the back of her head... it was uncomfortable, like...

Like the magic in the area was dead.

"Everything will be okay, Cirno," Marisa lied. "You'll be back to normal in no time..." She faked a smile. "Hey... Cirno... that was pretty amazing."

"Y-yeah...?" Cirno lit up like a... a child. "I... I tried really hard, Marisa..."
"You were the biggest challenge I ever had, Cirno..." Marisa answer. "You... wanna do it again... ze?"

"Yeah... when I get all healed up..." Cirno fluttered her eyes. "I... don't feel too good... Marisa... I wanna go... to sleep..."

"Well... go to sleep then..." Marisa whispered. Tears were forming at the corners of her eyes. "Cirno... you can rest..."

"Why... are you crying... Marisa?"
"I... I'm not..." Marisa wiped her eyes. "Just some... ice shards... or something." She pulled Cirno into a hug. "Hey... Cirno... I won't forget this... okay...? I'm sorry for... making you suffer."

"It's okay... it was... fun..." Cirno smiled. "Hey... Marisa... you don't have to lie..."
"Huh?"

"I know I'm not coming back," Cirno replied, touching Marisa's cheek. "You can't lie to someone who's connected to Gensokyo. Marisa... it's been fun... don't cry for me... okay?"

"Wha..."
"Tell everyone... that I wanted to be the strongest... so I could... stand with all of you..."
"Cirno... you are the strongest in Gensokyo..."

Cirno smiled like the child she was... for one last time. "Goodbye, Marisa..."

"...goodbye, Cirno..."

Cirno closed her eyes. She shone with an inner light; her body lifted into the air on its own, and dissapated into seperate motes of light blue energy, dispersing into the air. Strangely... it was warm. One of the motes of light touched Marisa on the cheek briefly before returning to the eternal ether.

Marisa sat there, on her knees. Tears flowed freely from her face. "Cirno..." Slowly, she stood up, her broken leg forgotten. She stumbled over to her broom, picked it up, and began the long trek back to the Shrine.

Marisa felt a weight in her hand. Looking down at it, she noticed that a spellcard formed from ice-blue energy. She lifted it up and stared at it. On one side, it said, "Kirisame Spellcard;" on the other was a blank slate. She smiled at it; in a corner, a small image of a blue fairy.

"This one is for you," she whispered to the air. She focused her remaining mana into it, and created a new spell, right there, on the spot.

Love Sign. Cirno's Heart.

[USB500]

Originally Posted by Kagerou

Not quite Nanoha-related unless you look at only about 5 things in it. This is mostly Touhou-related. Enjoy...

Spoiler for Cirno's Last Fight:

It was supposed to be a normal day.

Marisa had felt like going for a short flight today; nothing special. No fighting, no hanging out with Alice, no stealing precious things... just a short flight through the chilly winter air.

Well, okay, Marisa was on a mission of sorts. She and Reimu had been developing new spell cards ever since the Scarlet Mansion incident, with a little input from Sakuya and Knowledge for good measure. The idea was that the girls were going to develop a new system that would finally put the humans on equal ground with the increasingly powerful youkai that they had been going up against over time. The incident with the Prism girls and later with Satori had proven that Reimu and Marisa needed a serious upgrade; even with their talent and training, the two simply were not enough to keep going, even with assistance.

The girls had created two new series of cards that they were to test out. Marisa had been given the "Devil Sign" cards, a series which complemented her specialty in ranged attacks. Today, she was to fly around, have a good time, and test them out. All in all, it was supposed to be a pretty normal day.

And then Cirno showed up.

Marisa had known that the Fairy was nearby, as the temperature had gotten colder over time at an unnatural rate. Interestingly, the little creature had yet to show up, almost as if taunting the witch. Marisa had been on her guard for the past hour or so, slowly heading to an ever colder area. Her breath seemed to crystalize in the air, and it had started snowing. As she flew through the mess, Marisa noticed a whirlwind of snow surrounding what appeared to be a pillar of ice.

She had found Cirno.

"So is this your new method of attack?" Marisa shouted. "I hope you weren't trying to scare me, because it didn't work!"

"Don't be so arrogant," Cirno's voice seemed to echo from the snow itself. "I knew you would come find me, ningen. This massive zone of cold you're in is under my control now! I've been training myself for this very moment, asked Gensokyo itself for power, and now, finally, I will prove to you that I'm stronger than I look! That I am the strongest in Gensokyo!"

---===---

"So what is this?" Marisa asked as she twirled the spell card on one finger.
"A rapid-fire, lightspeed, multi- or one-target spell," Sakuya explained. "Well, lightspeed is kind of exaggerating it, but you could say that it appears to be made out of light, just like your Spark. It's extremely fast and always finds the target you want it to, so long as you focus on it."

"So what are you designating it as?" Marisa took the card ans put it on her belt.
"...Homing laser." Sakuya said in English, although given her relatively incompetance with the language, made it sound like "Homen Layzuh".

---===---

"Just remember, you asked for this!" Marisa shouted, picking up the card and thrusting it in front of her. The card floated on its own and spun rapidly. "Devil Sign! Axel Shooter!" The Spell Card exploded into a dozen magenta beams of energy, exploding outward before turning sharply and shooting at near light-speed at the whirlwind. The blasts struck the snow, piercing it utterly, before dissipating into mana particles. "Wow..." Marisa widened her eyes. "That was impressive."

"Too bad you missed!" Came a voice from above. Marisa looked high up to see that Cirno was actually riding the fading whirlwind, and that the pillar of ice only held a now-destroyed sculpture of what Marisa assumed to be either herself (in mockery) or Cirno (in arrogance). "That was a nice spell, ningen! Now, have this! Freezing Sign, Ice Lance!"

The snow around Cirno coalesced into a giant spear-shaped icicle that instantly hurled in Marisa's direction, trailing snowflakes. Marisa erected a barrier not a second too late as the spear shattered against it, sending shrapnels of ice everywhere before reforming in a different location and slamming into the barrier again. The force exerted by the lances was great enough that it caused Marisa to fall back, each hit by a lance causing her to lose ground.

A squall shouted, and Marisa chanced a look behind her to see that the tip of her broom was being sheared off by a great barrier of icicles and snow that began to form, turning into a large dome around the two warriors. Marisa didn't have to ask what her chances of getting through that was; she didn't need to. She could tell that Cirno was indeed pulling out all the stops for this. Glaring up at the Fairy, she pushed forward as the tenth and final Ice Lance shattered against her barrier, disspelling the barrier into more mana shards that fell to the ground.

"Pretty good for a brat," Marisa taunted as she waved her hand, sending several dozen bolts of energy and two beams of light straight at the small blue fairy. Cirno merely grinned and held her arms out, conjurings shards of ice that hardened into a shield around her, causing the attack to refract harmlessly in several directions. "Oh, looks like you have gotten stronger."

Marisa was indeed impressed. The fairy glaring down at her wasn't the same one she had fought last time, and indeed showed that the small creature meant business this time. Marisa couldn't hold back if Cirno was going to play rough. Any misgivings she had about going easy on the 'bakayousei' were quickly tossed aside.

She grabbed the mini-Hakkero on her side before dismissing that thought. No, she didn't want to use so much magical power now, in case she needed it later. She instead pulled out another spell card and threw it into the air. "Since you were so kind to retaliate, have another, Cirno! Devil Sign, Photon Lancer!"

Magical currents like electricity formed around Marisa, turning into yellow arrowhead-shaped lights. She fired the bolts, sending them crashing against the ice barrier that Cirno had formed and shattering it completely, allowing room for a second salvo to slice toward Cirno. The little fairy dodged, using her small size to graze each and every shot like it was nothing. Marisa flew forward toward the pillar and rolled, firing another Plasma burst at the fairy above her, who again grazed the danmaku like it wasn't there.

"I told you, I'm stronger now!" Cirno shouted down at the witch, pulling out a spell card and holding it between her hands. "Weak attacks won't work on me anymore! Freezing Sign, Orb of Cold!" The spell card warped into a blue ball of freezing energy that cascaded snow. Cirno smiled and flip-kicked the orb downward. Marisa went to dodge but found that the Orb was tracking her.

A direct hit. Marisa gasped in pain as she was knocked off of her broom, which quickly flew down to retrieve her. Marisa blinked and rubbed at her eyes, which were blinded by the intense cold causing ice to stick to her eyelids. The Black Mage caught the broom one handed and hung from there as she looked up at the fairy through painful cold. "Damn... she scored a hit..." Marisa grunted to herself as she pulled herself back up onto her broom. "Never... expected that." Marisa gasped and doubled over, intense pain shooting through her left leg. Marisa looked and down made a face at the blood that dripped from her leg; she didn't have to ask if it was broken.

Marisa's intuition kicked in suddenly, causing her to instinctively form a barrier. Looking up, she saw another Orb of Cold crashing onto her barrier, actually freezing it at the point of impact. Marisa widened her eyes and looked up at Cirno who, despite the cold, was actually sweating, the droplets of water freezing on her skin and clothes. She's exerting herself pretty hard, and I haven't even scored a hit yet. Marisa thought, grabbing another Spell Card. If I can just keep this up, she'll exhaust herself and I'll have room for the final strike...!

---===---

"This one is a wide-area bombardment attack, Marisa," Sakuya handed the smaller girl a spell card. "We based it off of your Spark, but instead we focused the beam more. It won't explode to its widest point until after it has hit a target. This intensifies the damage, but unlike Master Spark, it won't stop incoming attacks unless they are directly within the beam."

"So basically... shoot it when you know you won't be hurt badly?"
"If at all, Marisa."

---===---

"Devil Sign!" Marisa squeezed the card in her palm, causing it to 'detonate' and form a rigid ball of energy. "Divine... Buster!"

A beam of energy sailed up at Cirno. The fairy widened her eyes, but did not change course, instead throwing out another spell card. "Freezing Sign, Polar Ray!" The spellcard morphed into a bright blue beam of ice energy that shot forward, meeting the pink beam of energy and clashing violently.

Marisa and Cirno glared as they focused their spell power into their beams, causing them to glow brightly as they clashed. Slowly, Marisa's beam began to edge out, pushing Cirno's back centimeter by centimeter as she pumped more energy into it than Cirno could hers. Marisa grinned, pulling off her Hakkero and preparing for her Spark. It was over, right here, Marisa decided. No more wasting time. Between the Love Sign and her last Devil Sign card, she had to end it now before it was too late!

A crystallizing sound caused Marisa to lose focus slightly as she looked around and gasped. More Ice Lances were forming around the witch, each one pointed directly at her. Her mouth agape in surprise, Marisa quickly did the math. Cirno was doing what Marisa was planning, and with more control. Cirno knew that she couldn't win against Marisa's spells through raw force, so the fairy was actually out-smarting the witch! The squall was also picking up, and Marisa realized that the dome was starting to shrink; Cirno was closing in the barrier around them, forcing them to fight more closely. She was hindering Marisa's evasion room, something that would kill her!

Marisa was being played; Cirno was controlling three spells at once, but given the intense look on the fairy's face, Marisa realized it must be taxing on her. Marisa quickly had to change plans. Sparking Cirno was out of the question now. Chanting softly and painfully grabbing the Spellcard from her belt, she slid it into her other hand and put the Hakkero over it. "You can't kill me that easily!" She taunted Cirno. "Love Sign, Non-Direction Laser!"

A brilliant multicolored light show flickered, and beams of energy sailed from Marisa, slicing across the lances and melting them instantly. Cirno broke the beam war and dodged, watching the Divine Buster slam and explode into her ice barrier, temporarily forming a hole in it before the ice and snow sealed it up again. Cirno gasped as she was cut by a few of the lasers, unable to dodge or graze them all, and came to a standstill.

Marisa panted. This was the hardest fight she had bee in! Was she getting rusty, or was Cirno really getting more powerful?

It didn't matter. This had to end now. "Looks like you have me at an impasse, Cirno!" Marisa said. "I have one spell left! It's gonna come down to this for me!"

"Same here," Cirno was surprisingly honest. "I guess you're right about that, Marisa. One more spell for both of us!" She grinned in such a way that it sent shivers down Marisa's spine. "What do you say, one more duel before its over?"

Marisa pulled out her final Spell Card. "Of course, I wouldn't have it any other way."

---===---

"This is the most powerful spell I could come up with for you," Reimu admitted. "I know you wanted something that was like your Spark, but this is all I could manage... although I will admit, it might actually be more powerful than that, given the right circumstances."

"How so?" Marisa took the card and stared at it. "What are the conditions?"

"This spell is what I call 'collection-type'," Reimu explained, pacing the room slightly. "Basically, it gathers up all the residual mana from the area; basically, the longer the fight is, the more powerful this spell could be. It basically encourages you to force the enemy to use up all their spell cards, then blast them with this! However... I don't know the extent or the range of the mana gathering area. It could be tens of feet... or it could gather energy from all of Gensokyo."

"Is that even possible?!"
"Don't get me wrong, Marisa, it doesn't gather *all* the energy in an area, just a certain amount. I just don't know how far that area of gathering is...""

---===---

Marisa put the card with her Hakkero just to be sure. "Devil Sign..."

Cirno tossed a card into the air. "Freezing Sign..."

"Starlight... Breaker..."
"Permafrost... Coffin..."

Both women glared at each other, and in a final howl, shouted one word.

"Shoot!"

There was a bright flash of light.

---===---

Yuka gasped and dropped the bucket she was holding. What is this... this power?!

-=-

Reimu looked up from her prayer and stared into the distance. So... this draining feeling... it must be the Starlight Breaker... She couldn't help but sigh in a mixture of emotions.

...what have I done?

-=-

Remilia turned to Sakuya, who seemed pale. "Do you feel that?"
"Feel that...?" Sakuya laughed like a frightened child. "Master... I helped create that."

-=-

Shanghai collapsed, causing Alice to gasp and pick her up. Instantly, a wave of terror crept over her. "My God... what... what is this?!"

-=-

When the light faded, Marisa's wide-eyed face stared up into the sky. The barrier keeping her in collapsed, melted, just like the snow under her. The clouds had faded, and even the light in the sky seemed dimmer somehow. "Reimu... you were wrong..." she whispered. "It doesn't just collect mana... it collects life itself... truly... this is a Devil Card."

She paused, searching around for her opponent. Surely... was she obliterated in the blast? That was likely. "Cirno? Cirno, answer me! Cirno!" The thoughts of their battle had fled her. Indeed, she was now concerned about the fairy she had been fighting. "Cirno, where are yoU?!"

Marisa looked toward the ground, and gasped. "...What have I done? Cirno!"

Marisa fell hard and hit the dirt, ignoring the pain in her broken leg, and stumbled to an ever-growing pool of blood around a small blue body. "Cirno!"

The fairy was alive... somehow, Cirno was alive. Somehow, despite having no lower half to speak of save for some spine that remained, Cirno was propping herself up on her arms, staring blanking at where her body should be. Marisa fell to her knees beside the fairy, ignoring the blood that splashed onto her knees as she stared at the fairy dumbly. "C... Cirno... hey... q-quit playing around..." Marisa reached down and grabbed one of Cirno's hands.

"I... I can't regenerate..." Cirno mumbled, staring down. She looked up at Marisa. "I... can't heal! Why...?" She stared up at Marisa, her eyes panicked. "Marisa... what's going on?!"

"I... I don't know, Cirno..." Marisa was likewise confused. She felt a buzzing, in the back of her head... it was uncomfortable, like...

Like the magic in the area was dead.

"Everything will be okay, Cirno," Marisa lied. "You'll be back to normal in no time..." She faked a smile. "Hey... Cirno... that was pretty amazing."

"Y-yeah...?" Cirno lit up like a... a child. "I... I tried really hard, Marisa..."
"You were the biggest challenge I ever had, Cirno..." Marisa answer. "You... wanna do it again... ze?"

"Yeah... when I get all healed up..." Cirno fluttered her eyes. "I... don't feel too good... Marisa... I wanna go... to sleep..."

"Well... go to sleep then..." Marisa whispered. Tears were forming at the corners of her eyes. "Cirno... you can rest..."

"Why... are you crying... Marisa?"
"I... I'm not..." Marisa wiped her eyes. "Just some... ice shards... or something." She pulled Cirno into a hug. "Hey... Cirno... I won't forget this... okay...? I'm sorry for... making you suffer."

"It's okay... it was... fun..." Cirno smiled. "Hey... Marisa... you don't have to lie..."
"Huh?"

"I know I'm not coming back," Cirno replied, touching Marisa's cheek. "You can't lie to someone who's connected to Gensokyo. Marisa... it's been fun... don't cry for me... okay?"

"Wha..."
"Tell everyone... that I wanted to be the strongest... so I could... stand with all of you..."
"Cirno... you are the strongest in Gensokyo..."

Cirno smiled like the child she was... for one last time. "Goodbye, Marisa..."

"...goodbye, Cirno..."

Cirno closed her eyes. She shone with an inner light; her body lifted into the air on its own, and dissapated into seperate motes of light blue energy, dispersing into the air. Strangely... it was warm. One of the motes of light touched Marisa on the cheek briefly before returning to the eternal ether.

Marisa sat there, on her knees. Tears flowed freely from her face. "Cirno..." Slowly, she stood up, her broken leg forgotten. She stumbled over to her broom, picked it up, and began the long trek back to the Shrine.

Marisa felt a weight in her hand. Looking down at it, she noticed that a spellcard formed from ice-blue energy. She lifted it up and stared at it. On one side, it said, "Kirisame Spellcard;" on the other was a blank slate. She smiled at it; in a corner, a small image of a blue fairy.

"This one is for you," she whispered to the air. She focused her remaining mana into it, and created a new spell, right there, on the spot.

Love Sign. Cirno's Heart.

What have you done to Cirno??? you.... you.........

*summons all of Gundam Meisters and proceeds to slice and dice Kagerou*

Seriously, this is awesome, considering the amount of Nanoverse techs you featured here. Though I'm just bothered: where did Sakuya get the knowledge to give Marisa those cards?

Now this just made me want to finish off my Touhou/OCC fic ASAP.

Spoiler for related to story?:

[Polyisobutene]

Hello! I am polyisobutene, and I am what I like to call, "a real reviewer". After seeing many a fanfiction get nothing but "Good job, Up-date!" I decided to give the authors something that they could actually grow and expand from. To have found such a large anime community with smaller known animes like Nanoha in it, is great. AnimeSuki also looks like it has a good number of fanfiction writers that don't post on some of the bigger fanfiction websites, so it is great to be able to read new authors!

Originally Posted by Saint X

Message to PolyisoButene whoever you are/it:

Well if you are turned off by my "hard to read fic", then don't.

no one has perfect mastery of the English language- maybe you do so write your own.

it's about how the story flows, not how it's arranged in the laws of english.

I did not mean to insult your fanfiction. If that is the idea you got from my review, then I must apologize. I was not asking for you to have 'perfect mastery' of the English language. All I did was comment that some of the format choices you made created a somewhat difficult read to story.

I hope you can see that being able to command the language does help with the flow of a fanfiction or any other writing. Also, the laws of english do apply to all writing, as it is the road signs for the readers' eyes to follow. For example, like in the review I sent you, commas are vital to a sentence and its flow.

It is your decision to take my advice or not. And here I was thinking I had missed your fiction and did a second review! Well, I hope you at least got something from it, because it took me quite a while to write. And this time, please, I worked really hard on it, don't delete it!. I am going to be honest. Yes it was slightly difficult to read and that is a turn off.

[Saint X]

Originally Posted by Polyisobutene

I did not mean to insult your fanfiction. If that is the idea you got from my review, then I must apologize. I was not asking for you to have 'perfect mastery' of the English language. All I did was comment that some of the format choices you made created a somewhat difficult read to story.

well from an author pov, you are "insulting" the writing style one has by outlining the faults one has with the english language.

what if the author's intent was deliberate?

sue me for being this picky/troll-ish but that was almost an insult in level.

Originally Posted by Polyisobutene

Okay, let us start with some formatting. This fiction is a lot of words, the word count is massive, yet you crammed it all into one chapter. encourages authors to break long stories into chapters, people can actually report abuse if the fanfiction is just too long to read in one sitting. This can easily be broken down, and made into a lighter and more enjoyable read.

I am sure FFN TOS does not include "too long stories" as abuse. It's meant for a deeper read and more on the imagination.

Well I emailed FFN Support about this matter and awaiting their reply.

Spoiler for Email Inquiry Content:

General Inquiry: Abuse‏
From: Desu (email@isp.com)
Sent: Sunday, December 28, 2008 12:29:55 PM
To: support@fanfiction.com

Author Name: Saint X
Author ID: 395429

Subject: General Inquiry: Abuse

Can a story that is "too long to read" be flagged for abuse?

In Reference to: http://www.fanfiction.net/r/4736347/ : Second review 3rd paragraph.

"Okay, let us start with some formatting. This fiction is a lot of words, the word count is massive, yet you crammed it all into one chapter. encourages authors to break long stories into chapters, people can actually report abuse if the fanfiction is just too long to read in one sitting. This can easily be broken down, and made into a lighter and more enjoyable read."

Will be expecting a reply soon.

breaking it down does not have the same effect since i am typing "an episode's worth" of scenes.

and yes, some of the authors here would be insulted, and they have bigger word counts than me per chapter- much much bigger.

Originally Posted by Polyisobutene

Then you have the first thing the reader sees, the summary. To be honest, the summary did not catch my attention, typically I would have passed over it, but the word count intrigued me. You open not only with Alternate Universe (AU), but also with an Own Character (OC) and an alternate time line? That is a lot of going outside of the box, and a lot work for the author. You have to have in depth character development, as well a lot of plot development and ironing out. This takes away from the category, and leaves the reader at a loss. I am here to read Nanoha fanfiction, this is more like your own story that you wanted to post, but didn’t know where you should. I would suggest wordpress, it has a very friendly community.

any OC/AU thing is called FANFICTION it's fanfiction.net for crying out loud.

and besides it's the prologue.

Originally Posted by Polyisobutene

I hope you can see that being able to command the language does help with the flow of a fanfiction or any other writing. Also, the laws of english do apply to all writing, as it is the road signs for the readers' eyes to follow. For example, like in the review I sent you, commas are vital to a sentence and its flow.

I have been writing in that style since i started fanfiction and i feel comfortable with it.

changing one's writing style is like slapping an author's face.

Originally Posted by Polyisobutene

It is your decision to take my advice or not. And here I was thinking I had missed your fiction and did a second review! Well, I hope you at least got something from it, because it took me quite a while to write. And this time, please, I worked really hard on it, don't delete it!. I am going to be honest. Yes it was slightly difficult to read and that is a turn off.

well i may keep it but I read FFN TOS more and it can be like you said, an abuse.

Well some people say that reviews like that may force a person out of writing and become a troll.

please think of the budding writers.

=================

Originally Posted by USB500

Spoiler for related to story?:

Damn you USB you just make me crack up with something!

[Polyisobutene]

Well that was unexpected....

Okay, let us start with this. Giving constructive criticism is not the same as trolling, I may point out things that I know are wrong, but I also add in ways you can improve upon them (thanks for leaving that out of your selective quoting...).

I was not looking to create a argument between us, or create a conflict, I was just giving out some constructive criticism. When you capitalize words that shouldn't be (repeatedly), I will point it out, because that should be caught while editing.

FanFiction.Net does not filter content and is an open system that trusts the writer's judgment. However, there is an inherent responsibility that falls to writers as a result.

Here is a list of conducts that should always be observed:

1. Spell check all stories and poems. There is no excuse for not doing this. If you do not have a word processor that has the spell checking feature, use a search engine such as Google.Com to find one.

2. Proofread all entries for grammar and other aspects of writing before submission. 'Hot off the press' content is often riddled with errors. No one is perfect but it is the duty of the writer to perform to the best of his/her ability.

3. Respect the reviewers. Not all reviews will strictly praise the work. If someone rightfully criticizes a portion of the writing, take it as a compliment that the reviewer has opted to spend his/her valuable time to help improve your writing.

4. Everyone here is an aspiring writer. Respect your fellow members and lend a helping a hand when they need it. Like many things, the path to becoming a better writer is often a two way street.

5. Use proper textual formatting. For example: using only capital letters in the story title, summary, or content is not only incorrect but also a disregard for the language itself.

FanFiction.Net will take immediate action when the staff are alerted to them.

I don’t really want to have to quote this, I would hope that you know these very well already. I think that number three is pretty important, just because what I said wasn't a glowing review of your story, doesn't mean that it has no merit. How does it make you a better writer if no one tells you what can be improved upon?

Then in number five, my comment on comma usage comes in. Not using the comma's correctly makes it difficult to read, and is not respectful of the rules that apply to the language. Look I could go through this for all of my comments, but I should not have to justify myself.

Nothing I commented on was mentioned without a reason that could fall into these five categories. You clearly do not want any help from the reader, as you are so set in your writing style, so why post it for reviews if all you are going to do is delete them (like you did my first one).

To the all others in the Nanoha FanFiction Thread, I do hope that this little quarrel does not reflect poorly on myself, or on SaintX. I have reviewed a lot under several names, and sometimes people take it graciously and other times they do not take it at all. I stand by my ideals that fanfiction authors, especially the budding ones, can use the tips and advice to further their own writing. I know that I may not write fanfiction, but I am a student currently enrolled in an English lit. It doesn't matter what degree of experience the reviewer has, their opinions are important and should not be deleted by an author unless it is truly trolling.

I pointed out what I thought could be improved on, and gave what advice and tips I could. If you don't want to take them, that is fine. I would ask that you refrain from defacing my name on other forums. If I had not been alerted to this post I would not have known that it was here. As I said in my review, if you have questions/comments/concerns on what I wrote, please message me on fanfiction.net. I would be glad to discuss my review with you.

Polyisobutene

Originally Posted by Saint X

well from an author pov, you are "insulting" the writing style one has by outlining the faults one has with the english language.

what if the author's intent was deliberate?

sue me for being this picky/troll-ish but that was almost an insult in level.



I am sure FFN TOS does not include "too long stories" as abuse. It's meant for a deeper read and more on the imagination.

Well I emailed FFN Support about this matter and awaiting their reply.

Spoiler for Email Inquiry Content:

General Inquiry: Abuse‏
From: Desu (email@isp.com)
Sent: Sunday, December 28, 2008 12:29:55 PM
To: support@fanfiction.com

Author Name: Saint X
Author ID: 395429

Subject: General Inquiry: Abuse

Can a story that is "too long to read" be flagged for abuse?

In Reference to: http://www.fanfiction.net/r/4736347/ : Second review 3rd paragraph.

"Okay, let us start with some formatting. This fiction is a lot of words, the word count is massive, yet you crammed it all into one chapter. encourages authors to break long stories into chapters, people can actually report abuse if the fanfiction is just too long to read in one sitting. This can easily be broken down, and made into a lighter and more enjoyable read."

Will be expecting a reply soon.

breaking it down does not have the same effect since i am typing "an episode's worth" of scenes.

and yes, some of the authors here would be insulted, and they have bigger word counts than me per chapter- much much bigger.



any OC/AU thing is called FANFICTION it's fanfiction.net for crying out loud.

and besides it's the prologue.



I have been writing in that style since i started fanfiction and i feel comfortable with it.

changing one's writing style is like slapping an author's face.



well i may keep it but I read FFN TOS more and it can be like you said, an abuse.

Well some people say that reviews like that may force a person out of writing and become a troll.

please think of the budding writers.

=================



Damn you USB you just make me crack up with something!

[Seraph42]

Originally Posted by Kagerou

The series premiere of Fon Filia 4koma, right here, right now!

Spoiler for Number 1:

Hahaha! lol

Originally Posted by Kagerou

Ah, no in jokes, really...
As for Fon Filia... Fon/Fan Filia/Fiction, get it?

Also, from left to right, before I show up:
Satashi, Saharet, Keroko, Tempest, TSS

EDIT: To clarify:

Spoiler for Cast List for Fon Filia 4koma:

Ghaz and Lanissa

Double lol!

Wait a minute I've seen this artwork before.

Originally Posted by Kagerou

Not quite Nanoha-related unless you look at only about 5 things in it. This is mostly Touhou-related. Enjoy...

Spoiler for Cirno's Last Fight:

It was supposed to be a normal day.

Marisa had felt like going for a short flight today; nothing special. No fighting, no hanging out with Alice, no stealing precious things... just a short flight through the chilly winter air.

Well, okay, Marisa was on a mission of sorts. She and Reimu had been developing new spell cards ever since the Scarlet Mansion incident, with a little input from Sakuya and Knowledge for good measure. The idea was that the girls were going to develop a new system that would finally put the humans on equal ground with the increasingly powerful youkai that they had been going up against over time. The incident with the Prism girls and later with Satori had proven that Reimu and Marisa needed a serious upgrade; even with their talent and training, the two simply were not enough to keep going, even with assistance.

The girls had created two new series of cards that they were to test out. Marisa had been given the "Devil Sign" cards, a series which complemented her specialty in ranged attacks. Today, she was to fly around, have a good time, and test them out. All in all, it was supposed to be a pretty normal day.

And then Cirno showed up.

Marisa had known that the Fairy was nearby, as the temperature had gotten colder over time at an unnatural rate. Interestingly, the little creature had yet to show up, almost as if taunting the witch. Marisa had been on her guard for the past hour or so, slowly heading to an ever colder area. Her breath seemed to crystalize in the air, and it had started snowing. As she flew through the mess, Marisa noticed a whirlwind of snow surrounding what appeared to be a pillar of ice.

She had found Cirno.

"So is this your new method of attack?" Marisa shouted. "I hope you weren't trying to scare me, because it didn't work!"

"Don't be so arrogant," Cirno's voice seemed to echo from the snow itself. "I knew you would come find me, ningen. This massive zone of cold you're in is under my control now! I've been training myself for this very moment, asked Gensokyo itself for power, and now, finally, I will prove to you that I'm stronger than I look! That I am the strongest in Gensokyo!"

---===---

"So what is this?" Marisa asked as she twirled the spell card on one finger.
"A rapid-fire, lightspeed, multi- or one-target spell," Sakuya explained. "Well, lightspeed is kind of exaggerating it, but you could say that it appears to be made out of light, just like your Spark. It's extremely fast and always finds the target you want it to, so long as you focus on it."

"So what are you designating it as?" Marisa took the card ans put it on her belt.
"...Homing laser." Sakuya said in English, although given her relatively incompetance with the language, made it sound like "Homen Layzuh".

---===---

"Just remember, you asked for this!" Marisa shouted, picking up the card and thrusting it in front of her. The card floated on its own and spun rapidly. "Devil Sign! Axel Shooter!" The Spell Card exploded into a dozen magenta beams of energy, exploding outward before turning sharply and shooting at near light-speed at the whirlwind. The blasts struck the snow, piercing it utterly, before dissipating into mana particles. "Wow..." Marisa widened her eyes. "That was impressive."

"Too bad you missed!" Came a voice from above. Marisa looked high up to see that Cirno was actually riding the fading whirlwind, and that the pillar of ice only held a now-destroyed sculpture of what Marisa assumed to be either herself (in mockery) or Cirno (in arrogance). "That was a nice spell, ningen! Now, have this! Freezing Sign, Ice Lance!"

The snow around Cirno coalesced into a giant spear-shaped icicle that instantly hurled in Marisa's direction, trailing snowflakes. Marisa erected a barrier not a second too late as the spear shattered against it, sending shrapnels of ice everywhere before reforming in a different location and slamming into the barrier again. The force exerted by the lances was great enough that it caused Marisa to fall back, each hit by a lance causing her to lose ground.

A squall shouted, and Marisa chanced a look behind her to see that the tip of her broom was being sheared off by a great barrier of icicles and snow that began to form, turning into a large dome around the two warriors. Marisa didn't have to ask what her chances of getting through that was; she didn't need to. She could tell that Cirno was indeed pulling out all the stops for this. Glaring up at the Fairy, she pushed forward as the tenth and final Ice Lance shattered against her barrier, disspelling the barrier into more mana shards that fell to the ground.

"Pretty good for a brat," Marisa taunted as she waved her hand, sending several dozen bolts of energy and two beams of light straight at the small blue fairy. Cirno merely grinned and held her arms out, conjurings shards of ice that hardened into a shield around her, causing the attack to refract harmlessly in several directions. "Oh, looks like you have gotten stronger."

Marisa was indeed impressed. The fairy glaring down at her wasn't the same one she had fought last time, and indeed showed that the small creature meant business this time. Marisa couldn't hold back if Cirno was going to play rough. Any misgivings she had about going easy on the 'bakayousei' were quickly tossed aside.

She grabbed the mini-Hakkero on her side before dismissing that thought. No, she didn't want to use so much magical power now, in case she needed it later. She instead pulled out another spell card and threw it into the air. "Since you were so kind to retaliate, have another, Cirno! Devil Sign, Photon Lancer!"

Magical currents like electricity formed around Marisa, turning into yellow arrowhead-shaped lights. She fired the bolts, sending them crashing against the ice barrier that Cirno had formed and shattering it completely, allowing room for a second salvo to slice toward Cirno. The little fairy dodged, using her small size to graze each and every shot like it was nothing. Marisa flew forward toward the pillar and rolled, firing another Plasma burst at the fairy above her, who again grazed the danmaku like it wasn't there.

"I told you, I'm stronger now!" Cirno shouted down at the witch, pulling out a spell card and holding it between her hands. "Weak attacks won't work on me anymore! Freezing Sign, Orb of Cold!" The spell card warped into a blue ball of freezing energy that cascaded snow. Cirno smiled and flip-kicked the orb downward. Marisa went to dodge but found that the Orb was tracking her.

A direct hit. Marisa gasped in pain as she was knocked off of her broom, which quickly flew down to retrieve her. Marisa blinked and rubbed at her eyes, which were blinded by the intense cold causing ice to stick to her eyelids. The Black Mage caught the broom one handed and hung from there as she looked up at the fairy through painful cold. "Damn... she scored a hit..." Marisa grunted to herself as she pulled herself back up onto her broom. "Never... expected that." Marisa gasped and doubled over, intense pain shooting through her left leg. Marisa looked and down made a face at the blood that dripped from her leg; she didn't have to ask if it was broken.

Marisa's intuition kicked in suddenly, causing her to instinctively form a barrier. Looking up, she saw another Orb of Cold crashing onto her barrier, actually freezing it at the point of impact. Marisa widened her eyes and looked up at Cirno who, despite the cold, was actually sweating, the droplets of water freezing on her skin and clothes. She's exerting herself pretty hard, and I haven't even scored a hit yet. Marisa thought, grabbing another Spell Card. If I can just keep this up, she'll exhaust herself and I'll have room for the final strike...!

---===---

"This one is a wide-area bombardment attack, Marisa," Sakuya handed the smaller girl a spell card. "We based it off of your Spark, but instead we focused the beam more. It won't explode to its widest point until after it has hit a target. This intensifies the damage, but unlike Master Spark, it won't stop incoming attacks unless they are directly within the beam."

"So basically... shoot it when you know you won't be hurt badly?"
"If at all, Marisa."

---===---

"Devil Sign!" Marisa squeezed the card in her palm, causing it to 'detonate' and form a rigid ball of energy. "Divine... Buster!"

A beam of energy sailed up at Cirno. The fairy widened her eyes, but did not change course, instead throwing out another spell card. "Freezing Sign, Polar Ray!" The spellcard morphed into a bright blue beam of ice energy that shot forward, meeting the pink beam of energy and clashing violently.

Marisa and Cirno glared as they focused their spell power into their beams, causing them to glow brightly as they clashed. Slowly, Marisa's beam began to edge out, pushing Cirno's back centimeter by centimeter as she pumped more energy into it than Cirno could hers. Marisa grinned, pulling off her Hakkero and preparing for her Spark. It was over, right here, Marisa decided. No more wasting time. Between the Love Sign and her last Devil Sign card, she had to end it now before it was too late!

A crystallizing sound caused Marisa to lose focus slightly as she looked around and gasped. More Ice Lances were forming around the witch, each one pointed directly at her. Her mouth agape in surprise, Marisa quickly did the math. Cirno was doing what Marisa was planning, and with more control. Cirno knew that she couldn't win against Marisa's spells through raw force, so the fairy was actually out-smarting the witch! The squall was also picking up, and Marisa realized that the dome was starting to shrink; Cirno was closing in the barrier around them, forcing them to fight more closely. She was hindering Marisa's evasion room, something that would kill her!

Marisa was being played; Cirno was controlling three spells at once, but given the intense look on the fairy's face, Marisa realized it must be taxing on her. Marisa quickly had to change plans. Sparking Cirno was out of the question now. Chanting softly and painfully grabbing the Spellcard from her belt, she slid it into her other hand and put the Hakkero over it. "You can't kill me that easily!" She taunted Cirno. "Love Sign, Non-Direction Laser!"

A brilliant multicolored light show flickered, and beams of energy sailed from Marisa, slicing across the lances and melting them instantly. Cirno broke the beam war and dodged, watching the Divine Buster slam and explode into her ice barrier, temporarily forming a hole in it before the ice and snow sealed it up again. Cirno gasped as she was cut by a few of the lasers, unable to dodge or graze them all, and came to a standstill.

Marisa panted. This was the hardest fight she had bee in! Was she getting rusty, or was Cirno really getting more powerful?

It didn't matter. This had to end now. "Looks like you have me at an impasse, Cirno!" Marisa said. "I have one spell left! It's gonna come down to this for me!"

"Same here," Cirno was surprisingly honest. "I guess you're right about that, Marisa. One more spell for both of us!" She grinned in such a way that it sent shivers down Marisa's spine. "What do you say, one more duel before its over?"

Marisa pulled out her final Spell Card. "Of course, I wouldn't have it any other way."

---===---

"This is the most powerful spell I could come up with for you," Reimu admitted. "I know you wanted something that was like your Spark, but this is all I could manage... although I will admit, it might actually be more powerful than that, given the right circumstances."

"How so?" Marisa took the card and stared at it. "What are the conditions?"

"This spell is what I call 'collection-type'," Reimu explained, pacing the room slightly. "Basically, it gathers up all the residual mana from the area; basically, the longer the fight is, the more powerful this spell could be. It basically encourages you to force the enemy to use up all their spell cards, then blast them with this! However... I don't know the extent or the range of the mana gathering area. It could be tens of feet... or it could gather energy from all of Gensokyo."

"Is that even possible?!"
"Don't get me wrong, Marisa, it doesn't gather *all* the energy in an area, just a certain amount. I just don't know how far that area of gathering is...""

---===---

Marisa put the card with her Hakkero just to be sure. "Devil Sign..."

Cirno tossed a card into the air. "Freezing Sign..."

"Starlight... Breaker..."
"Permafrost... Coffin..."

Both women glared at each other, and in a final howl, shouted one word.

"Shoot!"

There was a bright flash of light.

---===---

Yuka gasped and dropped the bucket she was holding. What is this... this power?!

-=-

Reimu looked up from her prayer and stared into the distance. So... this draining feeling... it must be the Starlight Breaker... She couldn't help but sigh in a mixture of emotions.

...what have I done?

-=-

Remilia turned to Sakuya, who seemed pale. "Do you feel that?"
"Feel that...?" Sakuya laughed like a frightened child. "Master... I helped create that."

-=-

Shanghai collapsed, causing Alice to gasp and pick her up. Instantly, a wave of terror crept over her. "My God... what... what is this?!"

-=-

When the light faded, Marisa's wide-eyed face stared up into the sky. The barrier keeping her in collapsed, melted, just like the snow under her. The clouds had faded, and even the light in the sky seemed dimmer somehow. "Reimu... you were wrong..." she whispered. "It doesn't just collect mana... it collects life itself... truly... this is a Devil Card."

She paused, searching around for her opponent. Surely... was she obliterated in the blast? That was likely. "Cirno? Cirno, answer me! Cirno!" The thoughts of their battle had fled her. Indeed, she was now concerned about the fairy she had been fighting. "Cirno, where are yoU?!"

Marisa looked toward the ground, and gasped. "...What have I done? Cirno!"

Marisa fell hard and hit the dirt, ignoring the pain in her broken leg, and stumbled to an ever-growing pool of blood around a small blue body. "Cirno!"

The fairy was alive... somehow, Cirno was alive. Somehow, despite having no lower half to speak of save for some spine that remained, Cirno was propping herself up on her arms, staring blanking at where her body should be. Marisa fell to her knees beside the fairy, ignoring the blood that splashed onto her knees as she stared at the fairy dumbly. "C... Cirno... hey... q-quit playing around..." Marisa reached down and grabbed one of Cirno's hands.

"I... I can't regenerate..." Cirno mumbled, staring down. She looked up at Marisa. "I... can't heal! Why...?" She stared up at Marisa, her eyes panicked. "Marisa... what's going on?!"

"I... I don't know, Cirno..." Marisa was likewise confused. She felt a buzzing, in the back of her head... it was uncomfortable, like...

Like the magic in the area was dead.

"Everything will be okay, Cirno," Marisa lied. "You'll be back to normal in no time..." She faked a smile. "Hey... Cirno... that was pretty amazing."

"Y-yeah...?" Cirno lit up like a... a child. "I... I tried really hard, Marisa..."
"You were the biggest challenge I ever had, Cirno..." Marisa answer. "You... wanna do it again... ze?"

"Yeah... when I get all healed up..." Cirno fluttered her eyes. "I... don't feel too good... Marisa... I wanna go... to sleep..."

"Well... go to sleep then..." Marisa whispered. Tears were forming at the corners of her eyes. "Cirno... you can rest..."

"Why... are you crying... Marisa?"
"I... I'm not..." Marisa wiped her eyes. "Just some... ice shards... or something." She pulled Cirno into a hug. "Hey... Cirno... I won't forget this... okay...? I'm sorry for... making you suffer."

"It's okay... it was... fun..." Cirno smiled. "Hey... Marisa... you don't have to lie..."
"Huh?"

"I know I'm not coming back," Cirno replied, touching Marisa's cheek. "You can't lie to someone who's connected to Gensokyo. Marisa... it's been fun... don't cry for me... okay?"

"Wha..."
"Tell everyone... that I wanted to be the strongest... so I could... stand with all of you..."
"Cirno... you are the strongest in Gensokyo..."

Cirno smiled like the child she was... for one last time. "Goodbye, Marisa..."

"...goodbye, Cirno..."

Cirno closed her eyes. She shone with an inner light; her body lifted into the air on its own, and dissapated into seperate motes of light blue energy, dispersing into the air. Strangely... it was warm. One of the motes of light touched Marisa on the cheek briefly before returning to the eternal ether.

Marisa sat there, on her knees. Tears flowed freely from her face. "Cirno..." Slowly, she stood up, her broken leg forgotten. She stumbled over to her broom, picked it up, and began the long trek back to the Shrine.

Marisa felt a weight in her hand. Looking down at it, she noticed that a spellcard formed from ice-blue energy. She lifted it up and stared at it. On one side, it said, "Kirisame Spellcard;" on the other was a blank slate. She smiled at it; in a corner, a small image of a blue fairy.

"This one is for you," she whispered to the air. She focused her remaining mana into it, and created a new spell, right there, on the spot.

Love Sign. Cirno's Heart.

NNNOOOOOO!!! you killed 9 ball (or idiot)


*Its hard to do this on a cell phone*

[Satashi]

Small update from me :3

School is out all this coming week, so I should be able to finish PornStar!Vivio shortly. After that, I plan on doing Vampire!Fate again for my shorts and then to finish Synergy and Dream Wing, as well as Redemption sometime. But Vampire!Fate is my top of list after PS!Vivio.

I'm looking forward to the reviews I get on PornStar!Vivio when I post the new beta'd and improved chapters on Fanfiction.net XD XD

Welcome to the thread, Polyisobutene

[Seraph42]

Originally Posted by Satashi

Small update from me :3

School is out all this coming week, so I should be able to finish PornStar!Vivio shortly. After that, I plan on doing Vampire!Fate again for my shorts and then to finish Synergy and Dream Wing, as well as Redemption sometime. But Vampire!Fate is my top of list after PS!Vivio.

I'm looking forward to the reviews I get on PornStar!Vivio when I post the new beta'd and improved chapters on Fanfiction.net XD XD

Welcome to the thread, Polyisobutene

Sweet finally back to V!F

I almost forgotten Dream Wing so Its good that you're still going to continue it

And (sorry markesellus) lets not Forget Redemption, you left that one on a cliff hanger for far too long