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Old 2011-11-11, 00:42   Link #7161
Eratas123
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@ Eratas: You're lucky, I'm only a third of the way done. I'm here just to post something quick, then I'll go join some more PVP in PWI.

Yep... Only 8 thousand words written. And about 15 or so thousand more to write. Chapter 17 is going to be long, because there's so much I want to include. I might chop it into two chapters though.
Shadow is stuck in limbo I'm trying to tell myself not to drop it. Daydreams an the other fics are obviously more popular.

@ Zero - Tatenashi's is next. Can you think of a scenario?
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Old 2011-11-11, 00:44   Link #7162
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@ Eratas: You're lucky, I'm only a third of the way done. I'm here just to post something quick, then I'll go join some more PVP in PWI.

Yep... Only 8 thousand words written. And about 15 or so thousand more to write. Chapter 17 is going to be long, because there's so much I want to include. I might chop it into two chapters though.
This is the first time I force my ideas, but please chop it into two. 23.000 words for a chapter will be messy I assure you...besides, your average chapter is only about 10 thousands right? Readers will be confused.

Chapter 10 of sacred twins supposedly broke through 13.000 word mark, but I cut half of it to be added to chapter 11, which itself is about 11.000 words in the end.

@ Eratas

Tatenashi's imagination is wilder than everyone else can expect, such as imagining Ichika as hot blood warrior or elegant prince...
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Old 2011-11-11, 00:48   Link #7163
Eratas123
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This is the first time I force my ideas, but please chop it into two. 23.000 words for a chapter will be messy I assure you...besides, your average chapter is only about 10 thousands right? Readers will be confused.

Chapter 10 of sacred twins supposedly broke through 13.000 word mark, but I cut half of it to be added to chapter 11, which itself is about 11.000 words in the end.

@ Eratas

Tatenashi's imagination is wilder than everyone else can expect, such as imagining Ichika as hot blood warrior or elegant prince...
That's gonna be hard Besides, the prince thing sounds more like Kanzash

@ Rain - You wrote about Tatenashi, any ideas?
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Old 2011-11-11, 00:52   Link #7164
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That's gonna be hard Besides, the prince thing sounds more like Kanzashi
Why else Tatenahsi organized reverse Cinderella event? Normal girl (as if there's any in this series, but that's another story) wouldn't think of that
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Old 2011-11-11, 00:57   Link #7165
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Why else Tatenahsi organized reverse Cinderella event? Normal girl (as if there's any in this series, but that's another story) wouldn't think of that
She also puts a shock collar (crown) on him that she can remote trigger........why do I suddenly get the feeling she's a dominatrix? *Dunks head in brain bleach*
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Old 2011-11-11, 00:59   Link #7166
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She also puts a shock collar (crown) on him that she can remote trigger........why do I suddenly get the feeling she's a dominatrix? *Dunks head in brain bleach*
Why exactly are you surprised and disgusted? There's no normal girl in I.S., every, freaking, single of them is a Yandere in various form
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Old 2011-11-11, 01:04   Link #7167
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Why exactly are you surprised and disgusted? There's no normal girl in I.S., every, freaking, single of them is a Yandere in various form
Cause I'm pairing her with Irish! I don't want to pair him up with someone that'll put a ball gag and shock collar on him!
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Old 2011-11-11, 01:08   Link #7168
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Cause I'm pairing her with Irish! I don't want to pair him up with someone that'll put a ball gag and shock collar on him!
Rule of funny man, rule of funny! Ball Gag and bondage equipment might be too much, but why else she forced him into crossdressing?

Why exactly I tone down all those girls' temperament? Tatenashi is no exception.
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Old 2011-11-11, 01:16   Link #7169
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@ Zero - She's not the only one who forced him into crossdressing. Even his own group did it! The loli bait thing for info actually happened in the "shadow" canon. The ball gag would be funny for some but I'm not into bondage. Besides, he already looks like an uke and sounds like one (he keeps his voice low to hide it). Adding bondage shit would just make things worse.

The shock collar thing seems like it can be actually used practically though. To make sure he doesn't go off the rails, a collar could be placed on him. Not like it would stop him though
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Old 2011-11-11, 01:18   Link #7170
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The shock collar thing seems like it can be actually used practically though. To make sure he doesn't go off the rails, a collar could be placed on him. Not like it would stop him though
Shock collar is absolutely dangerous in reality, if it's real, Ichika would be a vegetable after single use. AFTER SINGLE USE.

Then again when exactly I.S. gunned for Realism?

EDIT: FYI most country already banned it, for dogs and other ANIMALS that is.
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Old 2011-11-11, 01:23   Link #7171
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Shock collar is absolutely dangerous in reality, if it's real, Ichika would be a vegetable after single use. AFTER SINGLE USE.

Then again when exactly I.S. gunned for Realism?
You forget, Irish's body isn't exactly the most fragile. He's hyped up on drugs and who knows what else. I can also change it to a shock bracelet. A shock on the arm is less dangerous than a shock on the neck.
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Old 2011-11-11, 01:23   Link #7172
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You forget, Irish's body isn't exactly the most fragile. He's hyped up on drugs and who knows what else. I can also change it to a shock bracelet. A shock on the arm is less dangerous than a shock on the neck.
Arm bracelet? then it suddenly makes sense, legs would be good to, it restricted his MOBILITY.
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Old 2011-11-11, 01:34   Link #7173
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Arm bracelet? then it suddenly makes sense, legs would be good to, it restricted his MOBILITY.
Too bad he ignores it most of the time. The shock is supposed to restrict his movement through the use pf pain but if he's focused enough or he relapses he can ignore it and keep going.

His resistance against drugs and conventional torture helps the group later on when they get caught by PT or trapped in a room with knockout gas or something. He can stay awake long enough to help the others escape or won't break from torture.
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Old 2011-11-11, 01:39   Link #7174
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@ Eratas: I don't know what you plan, but I was planning for Kyuukai to get caught alone so I could do a few things in regards to plot and reader impact.
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Old 2011-11-11, 02:44   Link #7175
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@ Rain - They don't have to be caught together. Separating them and making them escape on their own also works. I doubt they'd capture one then just leave the other there. Why not grab both if you could?
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Old 2011-11-11, 02:58   Link #7176
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@ Eratas: That works too.

Side note: Wow, we go through pages and FAST.
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Old 2011-11-11, 03:06   Link #7177
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@ Rain - I'm trying to stop one character from turning into the messiah in their parts. Kyuukai saving Irish and getting caught as a result would leave the impression of Kyuukai as some heroic figure while Irish gets the victim label. The same is true vice versa. For example: Irish helps them get out because he's not as affected by the drugs. Afterwards, Kyuukai and Ichika do majority of the fighting to escape. Everybody has their own role.
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Old 2011-11-11, 03:10   Link #7178
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@ Eratas: If the torturing scenes are like the one's I mentioned earlier, then Ichika will be left with quite a bit of work behind him. Irish can't handle much of the fighting in his state, and Kyuukai will be barely able to stand and lift his weapons. Much less to the fact that he'll be missing an eye.

It's said in canon that Squall has pity/empathy/some kind of soft spot for young boys. So Irish and Ichika have a less painful time with her (mostly drugs and basic roughing them up). Though for Kyuukai on the other hand, he's been a thorn in their side, and as the saying goes...

An eye for an eye.
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Old 2011-11-11, 03:16   Link #7179
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Ahh.... I was tempted to deconstruct Falling Into The Cockpit with Dan, but I have this dilemma of having it subtle or VERY unsubtle.

Subtle version: borderline comedic with Dan serves ONLY as distraction for both protagonist and antagonist, signed a program with a clear contract that explain the risk and insurance, undergo hard training by Chifuyu....

Unsubtle version: Heavily injured in first crash course, eschewed by official for hijacking military property, virtually conscripted into a special task force, undergo inhuman training JUST so he can survive real combat....

Which one should i choose and why?
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Old 2011-11-11, 03:23   Link #7180
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@ Rain - Irish can't fight no matter his state. This is the PT base remember? They probably have a bunch of IS for their mooks. Irish is the only protag who wasn't meant to fight IS directly so he really can't help. She also can't use drugs on him since that'd be useless on him.

Do you really want Kyuukai to lose an eye? I tend to aboid the whole cybernetic implants thing whenever I can.

I don't think she'll be empathic to Irish since she probably knows he's been in one of their camps and knows how some of their tech works. He's already fought with Arachne and managed to damage it. The pilot of Arachne is her Lover, so she'll probably have a sore spot.

Side note - Just curious. Will this happen in both Shadow and HOTM? You mentioned that you might include it.

@ Zero - Go for subtle. Why would Dan hijack an IS? That makes no sense and it's pretty OOC.
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