|2009-04-02, 21:44||Link #3902|
Protecting the Throne
|2009-04-02, 23:50||Link #3904|
Gundam Boobs and Boom FTW
Join Date: Dec 2005
PETER MARSHALL : " What are 'Do it' 'I can help ' and 'Can't get enough? "
GEORGE GOBEL : "I don't know , but it's coming from the next apartment."
PETER MARSHALL : " If you find someone lying unconscious in the street , what should you do ? "
GEORGE GOBEL : " I would probably crawl around him , I guess. "
PETER MARSHALL : "True or false : A pea can last as long as 5,000 years. "
GEORGE GOBEL : " It can sure seem that way sometimes . "
PETER MARSHALL : "True or false : Experts say there are only seven or eight things in the world dumber than an ant . "
GEORGE GOBEL : " And I think I voted for six of them . "
PETER MARSHALL : " While visiting China , you tour guide starts shouting ' Poo ! Poo ! Poo ! What does it mean ? "
GEORGE GOBEL : "Cattle crossing . "
PETER MARSHALL : "Back in the old days , when great Grandpa would put a horseradish on his head , what was he trying to do ? "
GEORGE GOBEL : " Get it in his mouth . "
PETER MARSHALL : " According to Cosmo magazine , if you meet a stranger at a party and think he's attractive , is it ok to come out directly and ask him if he's married ? "
ROSE-MARIE : " No, wait until morning . "
PETER MARSHALL : " In bowling , what's a perfect score ? "
ROSE MARIE : " Ralph, the pin boy . "
PETER MARSHALL : " During a tornado , are you safer in the bedroom or the closet ? "
ROSE MARIE : " Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safer in the bedroom . "
PETER MARSHALL : " As we grow older , do we tend to gesture more or less with our hands when we talk ? "
ROSE-MARIE : " You ask me one more 'growing older' question Peter, and I will give you a gesture you will never forget. "
PETER MARSHALL : " Jimmy Stewart did it over twenty years ago when he was forty one years old . Now he says it was one of the best things he ever did , What was it ? "
MARTY ALLEN : " Rhonda Fleming .. "
PETER MARSHALL : " Can boys join the Campfire Girls ? "
MARTY ALLEN : " Only after lights out . "
PETER MARSHALL : " You are having trouble falling asleep .. Are you a man or a woman ? "
DON KNOTTS : " That's what's been keeping me awake . "
PETER MARSHALL : " In Hawaiian , does it take more than three words to say ' I love you ? "
VINCENT PRICE : " No , you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty . "
PETER MARSHALL : " Your baby has a certain object he loves to cling to . Should you try to break him of the habit ?
JOAN RIVERS : " Yes , it's Daddy's turn . "
PETER MARSHALL : " According to the Institute of Motivational Research , a wife should beware if another woman takes interest in a certain item of her husband's clothing . What item ? "
ED ASNER : " Shorts immediately spring to mind . "
|2009-04-03, 00:56||Link #3905|
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Up and to the Left
Woman Locked In Car Calls 911
Now, ...how do you think it happened?
Whirl~Whirl~Whirl, Click, Click, Hummm ...and then, silence.
Woman: "Maybe the Walgreen's people can help figure, ...the hell? The button isn't doing anything. Oh, I know! The horn should get their attention. ...Wait, now this isn't working either. Great, now it's starting to get hot in here. Let me guess, ...yep, that won't go down either. Damned unreliable POS. *Whips out cellphone*
Around an hour later after the 911 call:
AAA: Ok, your battery is charged, but when we tried turning it over, we were getting a low fuel warning from one of the trouble lights. We put in some fuel... ...The car is running, though you'll probably want to take it to get filled up as soon as possible.
*Begins to rain*
Woman: Oh, thank you so much. And everything worked out just in time too. If you didn't fix the battery thing, my car probably would've flooded.
AAA: But, it couldn't have flooded. It had no fuel in the tank.
Woman: No, no,.. I mean the rain. *Pushes button to raise the convertible top*
|2009-04-03, 11:03||Link #3912|
Join Date: Feb 2009
Don't get me started!
Bernard: You there. Lord of the Rings. Let's talk about how this whole one-day trial thing is going. At the moment, you're fired.
Manny: Everything's covered in filth! Look! The whole place is a complete mess. Can't find anything. Right now I'm eating scrambled eggs, with a comb, from a shoe!
Bernard: I'm talking about Manny. You know? Manny? The fruit store whom I happen to live with?
Bernard: Oh listen to you! You're becoming one of them! You're going over to the other side, to the land of sandals, spoon-benders and yoghurt-fanciers.
|2009-04-03, 13:23||Link #3915|
Join Date: Mar 2009
Your KIDDING me??!! Not a 4th one!!!
Home Improvement - God I love this show! Tim Allen is a comedy genius!!! -
|2009-04-03, 21:21||Link #3917|
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: In the Netherrealm, thinking who to betray next...
Ehemmm... getting off-topic here, let's add a funny emotion picture, you know what they say it with images!
|2009-04-03, 22:06||Link #3919|
Gundam Boobs and Boom FTW
Join Date: Dec 2005
WARNING: HIGHLY CONTROVERSIAL
What's so good about fucking twenty three year-olds?
There's twenty of them.
What do you do when your dishwasher breaks?
how do you turn your dishwasher into a snowplow?
give her a shovel
How many babies does it take to paint a house?
Depends how hard you throw them.
Whats worse than 11 babies nailed to one tree
One baby nailed to eleven trees.
Last edited by Demongod86; 2009-04-03 at 23:48.