|2006-12-07, 21:40||Link #3|
Join Date: Dec 2006
One thing that seemed clear in Johan's youth was that he loved his sister. It must have been a little strange and probably damaging though to not have a name. I think that the book readings were the thing that put it into his head though that one without a name was a monster and they got inside other people's lives, which gave them a temporary existence, then destroyed them.
Then when they were living with his mother, I guess she took them away from that place, and dressed them both the same as a girl to hide their identity (remember people were saying she only had one kid). That must have been another thing that contributed to Johan's confusion as far as being his sister. Who was he? He did not even have a name, and so his identity must have been very confused.
When his mom took them from the bookreading place, the bookreading place and people were basicaly his family, and he was taken away from them. I'm sure he felt like those who had read to him and were his family were bad, once his mother rescued them, b/c she probably told her kids that it was a bad place and they were bad people. This further uprooted him from a sense of belonging anywhere, and taught him that those who feel like family are evil, maybe contributing to the distaste of family that led to him killing their foster parents in the future.
His sister though was the one thing that kept him happy. When he was living with his sister and his mother, there came the point where the sister was stolen away by the experimenters to the red-rose mansion for the mass killings. This was a critical point b/c the mother chose his sister to be sent away. She came back and told him about everything that happened. Johan initially was confused and thought that this all happened to him. That he was the one his mother chose to "throw away." He thought this for years. This was the first thing that led him to believe that family was evil and he was worthless and unloved. However he still did have his sister.
Then something happened and they were in foster care. Do you remember that Nina said she remembered the sound of someone coming to visit that night before she came downstairs? The night her foster parents were killed and she shot Johan? I think that it was someone else who came and killed their parents and put the gun in Johan's hand. Why would this have been done? I don't know, maybe it was someone extending the sick experiment to turn them into monsters. I think someone else was killing their parents. (This could be too much of a stretch though). But along those lines, what I think happened was Johan had the gun in his hand b/c someone gave it to him. Maybe he thought he did it and that was why he asked his sister to kill him. Or maybe he felt like he was worthless and in the shock of his parents dying, he wanted to commit suicide. Maybe he felt like his mother hated him due to him thinking she threw him away, and maybe he feared his sister hated him too, and asked her to shoot him to test him, that he wasn't sure whether or not he killed anyone but felt like he did since his sister was yelling at him that he did. It must have been intense pressure and all he could do was just ask her to kill him because he was completely resigned.
I think that the fact that she actually did it is what really screwed him up. Remember when they awoke in the hospital he was reaching out to her. She was afraid and retreated, rejecting him again. He felt that his mother "threw him away" and his sister, the one that he had loved, shot him through the head. That is what really unleashed the monster, because he was worthless and fell back on the childhood teachings of what a monster without a name does. He was obsessed with control and believed that people were worthless and should die because he hated the world because he was rejected and hated himself. I think he was probably a little delusional, truly believing a monster was inside of him and other weird things due to the messed up stories that were fed to him growing up.
Later on he began to piece his childhood together. I believe he became a little bit obsessed with his past, sparked by the finding of the book. I doubt he remembered it until he found it, which must have been a flicker of light in the dark tunnel of meaning in his life.
What we don't know is whether from the forgiving of his sister and the fact that Tenma decided to save his life again actually changed him. I think that Tenma's loving ideals were something he didn't understand and he was perplexed and intrigued by them. Could Johan change? Sure, but he probably needed a whole lot more than an "I forgive you" to do that.
The last thing Johan heard before he escaped from the hospital was that his mother loved him and he had a name.
Was the idea of having a name terrifying to him? If he was humanized or was a real person, would the reality of all of the terrible things he did crash down on him? Was he really not a monster who couldn't help but be a monster, but a human being who did some despicable things? Did he leave to kill first his mother then anyone who knew his name, then himself? The idea of living a normal life where he is not terrorizing everyone might not be fathomable to him. Being accepted by his family might not be something he could handle or make sense of after the worthlessness that he felt and how everyone had rejected him in the past.
Or did he leave simply to find her b/c he had to do it? His obsession with his roots and unanswered questions had to be answered. He probably left to go find his mother to ask the question that he asked in Tenma's daydream.