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Old 2009-05-01, 18:02   Link #1
AyumiDesu Princess
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Chicago
Kiss-sui made first Yonkoma!

Hello Everyone!

Kiss-sui made first Yonkoma!

I hope you guys enjoy it!!!
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Old 2009-05-01, 21:00   Link #2
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: British Columbia
Nice work. xD thought i'd just let you know, but the link on your sig doesn't really work. =l You need to cut the blog. and exchange it for a www.

;D But nevertheless, I think that the extreme Japanese otaku would beat any American comic fan xD no one here is just that extreme.
__________________ - Kenn's blog of random everythings
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Old 2009-05-02, 03:44   Link #3
Just call me Ojisan
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: U.K. Hampshire
Originally Posted by Kenn View Post
Nice work. xD thought i'd just let you know, but the link on your sig doesn't really work. =l You need to cut the blog. and exchange it for a www
I've fixed the link in the sig (as you suggested) so at least it finds the site.

One comment I have with the 4 panel strip is that I didn't understand the 3rd panel. I'm not sure what the comment "Not Really" was meant to refer to. Was it a reply to "Could you please...", was it meant to be read before "Could you please..."

The layout seems to imply "Not Really" should be read before "Could you please..." but neither way makes much sense really. Due to this the humour failed for me.

The other thing is that I have no idea who "Ryo Saeba" is so that one flew over my head. It can be a difficult line with obscure references since you don't actually want to make them too obscure otherwise the majority will fail to understand. Finally, what is written on the t-shirt in the 3rd panel. I couldn't make it out, is it some reference to 2ch? If you are going to include something like that then either make it clear or don't have it at all. It feels like a missed opportunity as I missed the joke, if there was one there to being with that is The first two panels worked but I was left confused by the final two panels. I'm still not sure what the disappointment was (I can guess but I would prefer the original intent came across).

I like your art style, no complaints there. I just noticed what is was with the final panel I felt was wrong and that was the hair highlight were gone so it makes it look like a different person sitting down.
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