Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha Character Creation and Discussion

[LoweGear]

Originally Posted by Fuyu no Sora

Amusing to you people, huh?

Ah well, what can we do about it....People always did enjoy our "shows"

It's all because of the... Chemistry

*RUNS FASTER*

[Fuyu no Sora]

Originally Posted by LoweGear

It's all because of the... Chemistry

*RUNS FASTER*

Our Chemistry?

He and I have a Chemistry?????

Do explain please. It's late over here and I'm really not getting you...

[ghazghkull]

Originally Posted by LoweGear

It's all because of the... Chemistry

*RUNS FASTER*

O.o

Do you know what you're implying?! *Runs after Lowe*

[Fuyu no Sora]

Originally Posted by ghazghkull

O.o

Do you know what you're implying?! *Runs after Lowe*

I don't. Someone mind explaining please?

[Kagerou]

Glad people like KvK

Originally Posted by Keroko

Yes, when I play Warlocks, be it WoW or D&D, I play evil warlocks.

Oh pff. My Swordsage > Your Warlock :3

Originally Posted by FlameSparkZ

Ok...while I'm still writting chapter 23, here's a little something I did a little while ago

Spoiler for BreakerS SP OP2:

Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha BreakerS

Using: Minami-ke Okawari Opening: Kokoro no Tsubasa


tashika na omoi wo tsutaetakute
(Wanting to communicate confident feelings)
The screen is all black, but then, several Mid-Childa circles and Belka triangles of different colors slide by.
The black disappears, revealing the Mid-Childa capital, zooming into a bulding surrounded by water, with a bridge connecting to the mainland, the Riot Force 6 Headquarters.
Further zooming leads to the cafeteria, where Koji is takes the first bite off his breakfast, tasting it, then Yui and Rein come in running.
That scene is followed by three shots: just before the impact, the momento of impact, followed by Koji falling and the last one is Koji on the floor, with Yui and Rein on top, hugging him tightly.


modoranai jikan ni oboreru you ni
(As if drowned in time that will never come back)
The scene changes to a forest, where it's raining heavily, Maren is leaning to a tree, taking shelter.

ima wo dakishimeyou
(Let's embrace the present)
She sighs and looks at the darkened sky, her expression becomes determined. Maren runs off into the rain.


sono hohoemi mo ittari kitari
(with your smile coming and going)
Koji is seen in a desert, near a dead gigantic sandworm, wielding Air Gladius.

soba ni itakute
(I want to stay by your side)
Standing up, he looks at the sky. the camera focuses on his left arm, where a black ribbon is tied to his wrist.


kono te wo nobasu saki ni wa
(At the end of my reaching hand)
Yui, lost in some ruins, walking along an endless corridor.

nani ga matteru darou
(I wonder what is waiting there)
She stops to rest, but as she sets her hand on the wall, a new passage is revealed, with light at the end.


owaranari story no mukou tobitate
(Fly away beyond your neverending story)
Three scenes are displayed in the following order: Maren running in the rain, Koji running in the desert, Yui running towards the exit, and Treize, opening her eyes as she reacts to their emotions.


At 00:42, everyone's devices flash by.


hontou no kimochi de tadoritsuku basho eto
(With your sincere feelings, towards the place you'll finally reach)
In the RF6 HQ, Subaru is seen running towards Teana, she trips and...

kokoro no tsubasa wo hirogete
(Spread the wings of your heart)
She raises her head and realizes that when she feel, she pulled Teana's skirt. Teana reacts by entering Tsun-Tsun-mode.


meguriyuku messeji
(It's a message coming back again and again)
A meadow is seen, the camera zooms at two figures.

shiawase wa koko ni aru yo
(Happiness is right here)
The camera slowly moves downward, showing Caro and Lutecia sleeping close to each other.


ato sukoshi no yuuki
(with just a little more courage)
Shamal wearing glasses, she passes them to Signum, who passes them to Ginga.

namida mo hitsuyou nano
(And some tears will be needed too)
Ginga is about to give the glasses to Shari when Hayate takes them and puts them on.


tsuyoku nareru chancu kamo ne
(It'll be a chance to become stronger, don't you think?)
In the skies over the RF6 HQ, Erio flies by, riding Fried.


nukumori no refrain
(It's a refrain of warmth)
Training grounds, Vivio is sitting on a stone watching Nanoha, Fate and Vita training.

kono taisetsu mo zutto mamoritai
(Want to protect what's important to me forever)
Not too far from there, is Vice, secretly taking photos of Nanoha and Fate.


kokoro wo kasaneteku kizuna wo kanjiteru
(Gathering hearts after another, feeling the bonds between them)
At the Saint Chruch, Carim along with her "volunteers", Schach and Acous, are trying on a few costumes, but Carim can't seem to find Altea...who is hiding on the roof.


daremo hitori ja nai dakara
(Because nobody out there is all alone)
Rein is seen running, begins to float and takes off.

[B]onaji sora no shita[/B]
(Under that same sky)
She flies high and pierces through the Cradle, making it explode, but then Rein is seen sleeping on top of Zafira's head, dreaming.


tashika na omoi wo tsutaetakute
(Wanting to communicate confident feelings)
The letters "Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha" slide from right to left, revealing someone behind.
The letters change format and go behind Koji, who is being hugged by Yui, and Maren, trying to hug him too.
Treize just stands there, looking at them, while next to the title, "BreakerS" appears.

So...

The things happening in the OP aren't scenes of things to come, just wrote them like that to have a metaphoric meaning, or just because it looked plain cool

Well...back to work
*runs*

So this.
I like this.

Originally Posted by ghazghkull

I really have no idea XD

But hey, this is Haruhi, therefore...XD

Is it gay if you <3 Kyonko?

Originally Posted by Chaos2Frozen

What is this and why is it awesome?

[Liingo]

Originally Posted by Aaron008R

Well. The rounds were rather short... The first round hardly went past a minute.

And it's more of holding the opponent at non-retaliatory positions without inflicting damage. But yeah. Maybe I'll cut it down to five or four. Thanks.

I think I prefer the rounds that Xena thought up further down

@thread: I'll be busy. Lots of exams to come. Expect me to be a little lacking in posts for a week more.

Good luck with those!

Originally Posted by XenahortCharybdis

Do my...worst? Is that...supposed...to be encouragement??

yep encouragement..XD Write as much as you want. It's not going to phase me.

I've heard that word "iffy" somewhere before, I wonder where.

*bad memory flash*

*Xena shudders*

I'll...get...down to fixing it...yeah.

People who co-operate are such darlings don't you think

Tri-Layer BJs in General - as you may have noticed, not everyone possesses this thing, possibly because not everyone can spare the magical drain of having 3 layers instead of 1, and some other plot-related reasons.

Well the concept is neat. You're the first that I can remember that has gone and modified the BJ concept so kudos for that. Just that some if your layers had the potential for some very nasty combos.

Lol? They serve a purpose, man! One is like a lock-on device, and isn't a oblique row of shots a volley?

*just my ranting, don't mind me, I'm actually cool with it *

I was just highly amused at the concepts (Former WoW hunter XD)

*runs scenario in head, runs spells in head, and runs makeshift h4xxbust-credibility-proving program in head*

Yes, it's supposed to. Things will not just get nasty, but just batshit crazy if it doesn't. *makes changes*

Horray for Uber win conditions! Or not

The analogy was HILARIOUS. *howls crazily*

But on a more serious note, yes it does, too. *makes changes*

Spoiler for Concept work:

The way I originally conceived it, Artix relies on Ariel, who relies on Motherboard (or Deep Black). They both rely on Haru (or Revenant), and together they make t3h (justifiable) LL-level h4xx happen. I'll PM you or something just to make sure that thing works once I draft my idea. *makes changes*

I'll look forward to it

I can see it now:

ROUND 1: COSPLAY CONTEST (Hayate beats him hands down *pat pat pat*)
ROUND 2: BEST OF 20 ROCK-PAPER-SCISSORS (Aurion wins, he predicted patterns rather accurately)
ROUND 3: LAME JOKE COMPETITION (Aurion wins, because his head turns faster, and he laughs less.)
ROUND 4: TSAB TRIVIA COMPETITION (Aurion wins, he's just more experienced.)
ROUND 5: SUICIDE SPEED CHESS (Hayate wins, as Aurion is not used to playing to lose quickly!)
ROUND 6: SPEED MAKE-UP CONTEST (How could Aurion ever win this one?)

And they go on and on and on and on...

XD[/QUOTE]

Originally Posted by Fuyu no Sora

Don't count on that

It actually wasn't that bad. Only a handful of posts that I didn't even have to reply to.
[/QUOTE]

Originally Posted by ghazghkull

Thank you for the welcome, and I'm glad that you like my character :3 And for all intents and purposes, Hayato's done already :3

I take it that Striker Stance will be part of his rank up then. All good then.

*stamps Haxxbuster seal of approval*

Originally Posted by Kagerou

Spoiler for KvK Episode 01:

Somewhere, in the middle of a planet called Outer Cadia, two bases rest. On one base, written in perfect Cadian, are the words "Kerokanon", written in blue. Across the canyon, is another base, with the word Khrack written on it messily in red.

Standing atop this base are two men; one wearing orange Knight Armor, and one wearing maroon Knight Armor. These two men are Lowegear and Aaron, respectively, two loyal, hardworking soldiers of Khrack.

...yeah, right.

"Hey," Aaron says to Lowegear.
"Yeah?" Lowe replies, his thoughts of cream-filled donuts ejected by the other Knight's interruption.

"Do you ever wonder why we're here?" Aaron asks, letting his spear touch the floor of the base's upper level.
"Well that's one of life's great mysteries, isn't it?" Lowegear answers, doing the same with his sword. "I mean, why are we here? I mean, are we a product of cosmic coincidence, or is there really a Goddess, watching everything? You know, with like a plan for us and stuff... that shit keeps me awake at night."

Aaron raises a confused eyebrow as Lowe turns back and stares at the enemy base across the canyon, his eyes thoughtful. The maroon knight just stares at his companion for a few seconds, trying to come up with a coherent answer to what he had just heard.

"...what?" is the best he can come up with. "I mean why are we here, in this canyon?" he asks, waving his arm with emphasis.

"Oh!" Lowe says, looking around. "Uh... yeah."
"...so what was all that stuff about Goddesses?" Aaron asks, still confused.
"Uh... hm? Nothing."

"...you wanna talk about it?"
"No."
"You sure?"
"Yeah."

Aaron sighs. "Seriously though, why are we out here? Far as I can tell, it's just a box canyon in the middle of Cadia, with no way in or out. And the only reason our base is here is because their base is over there!" He points to the base in the distance as it mocks them."

"Well no shit," Lowe says. "That's because we're, you know, at war."
"I know that," Aaron answers. "I mean, even if we were to pull out today, and they took our base, they would have two bases in the middle of this canyon! Whoopdefuckindo!"

"I know what you mean, but come on," Lowegear says. "When I signed up for this, all there was to do was write Khrack. And now that those Kerokanon fags have come in and ruined our fun, I haven't been able to write a thing since."

Meanwhile, on a cliff overlooking the Khrack base, two men stare down, watching them... well, one and a half men.

One of the mages is prone, looking down on the enemy by using a spell that enhances his vision. His effiminate features and girly cobalt Barrier Jacket cause some to look twice.

"What are they doing?" A voice next to him asks. Turning with an annoying look to stare at the guy in a teal Barrier Jacket behind him, who stares back expectantly.

"What?" The cobalt one says.
"I said, 'what-are-they-doing'?" The teal one, known as Nighty, repeats, putting force behind every word.
"God damnit!" the cobalt one, Keroko, growls. "I'm getting so sick of answering that question!"

"Hey, you have the fucking zoom spell, I can't see shit!" Nighty shouts. "Don't bitch at me because I'm not going to sit up here and play with my dick all day!"

"Okay, okay look." Keroko sighs. "They're just standing there, and talking, okay? That's all they're doing. That's all they ever do, is just stand there and talk. That's what they were doing last week, that's what they were doing when you asked me five minutes ago. So five minutes from now, when you ask me "What're they doing?" my answer's gonna be "They're still just talking, and they're still just standing there!"

Keroko narrows his(?) eyes at Nighty, waiting for a response.

"...so..." Nighty pauses. "What're they talking about?"
"You know what?" Keroko says. "I fucking hate you."
"Hey, don't get your panties in a bunch, Keroko." Nighty fires back.
"Damnit, I don't wear panties!"
"Haha, sure, okay."

Back on the ground, a man in red armor looks up at Lowe and Aaron, cradling his weapon gently on his right shoulder. "Ladies!" he hollers. "Front and center, on the double!"

"Fuck me," Lowegear rolls his eyes.
"Yes, sir!" Aaron calls out as he leads Lowe down.

XD

Here have a cookie

Originally Posted by LimitedEternal

This is a weekday, fellow Cadians...what happened to all the massive backlog?

It might be where you are but it's the weekend here We should put another sign up at the start. Most active during the weekdays of the Asia-Pacific Region

Originally Posted by Fuyu no Sora

I'm feeling pretty disturbed and messed up right now. Don't mind me.

Have a hug, that should help *hugs*

Yes, well. I expected the reactions from everyone who knows of my relationship with Chaos...

Wait what?

Originally Posted by Chaos2Frozen

Gah! I've been taken advantage of !

GAHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!

Originally Posted by Fuyu no Sora

Amusing to you people, huh?

Ah well, what can we do about it....People always did enjoy our "shows"

Aye, very amusing XD

[ghazghkull]

Originally Posted by Kagerou

Is it gay if you <3 Kyonko?

Good question :3

Originally Posted by Kagerou

What is this and why is it awesome?

Apparently this is Keroko's OC Tesla in gothic lolita :3

Mind you, IT'S EPIC WIN!!! XD

[Fuyu no Sora]

Originally Posted by Kagerou

Glad people like KvK

Random bouts of crack are what this thread is made of

Originally Posted by Kagerou

Oh pff. My Swordsage > Your Warlock :3

Dangerous statements ftw

Originally Posted by Kagerou

Is it gay if you <3 Kyonko?

Technically no since she's a girl :3

Originally Posted by Kagerou

What is this and why is it awesome?

.....Ask the Darth Chaos for that....

Originally Posted by Liingo

It actually wasn't that bad. Only a handful of posts that I didn't even have to reply to.

Yeah, I noticed >.< This thread has quieted down badly....

Originally Posted by Liingo

I take it that Striker Stance will be part of his rank up then. All good then.

*stamps Haxxbuster seal of approval*

LOL. But that means that the project shall carry on :3

Originally Posted by Liingo

XD

Originally Posted by Liingo

Have a hug, that should help *hugs*

Aww, thanks <3 That made me feel better

Originally Posted by Liingo

Wait what?

Yup, you read that right Didn't work though....

Originally Posted by Liingo

Originally Posted by Liingo

Aye, very amusing XD

Really?

@Thread: Night to you all. It's almost 2 AM 'round here and I need some sleep...

I had fun

[ghazghkull]

Originally Posted by Liingo

I take it that Striker Stance will be part of his rank up then. All good then.

*stamps Haxxbuster seal of approval*

Yay! It's been approved by two people then! XD

Liingo, and from what I could tell, Keroko have approved it now :3

And yes, Striker Stance will be included once he ranks up in my story. That, and I have to work out the kinks, since I realized that I goofed something when I had designed it.

[Liingo]

Originally Posted by Fuyu no Sora

Yeah, I noticed >.< This thread has quieted down badly....

Chances are they're on IRC, which gets rid of alot of the random discussions that take place/

LOL. But that means that the project shall carry on :3

Aww, thanks <3 That made me feel better

Yup, you read that right Didn't work though....

Well theres not much to really have a reaction to...

Really?

Well it's a lot like Kha's situation......

Originally Posted by ghazghkull

Yay! It's been approved by two people then! XD

Liingo, and from what I could tell, Keroko have approved it now :3

Well there wasn't really much to be concerned about... No over the top spells and abilites.. No random tech from somewhere etc.

And yes, Striker Stance will be included once he ranks up in my story. That, and I have to work out the kinks, since I realized that I goofed something when I had designed it.

Post when you're ready then

[FieryAeon]

Originally Posted by LoweGear

"Can you pass me the popcorn? Thanks"

*continues munching as he watches the Fuyu vs Chaos show*

*Passes Lowe some popcorn* Nice show.

Originally Posted by LoweGear

...

This Randomness is why we serve you Master

*saves*

We? I'm not part of the scourge!

Originally Posted by Fuyu no Sora

I'm not sore. I just know that Tesla's hair is blue and that she also has complete heterochromia.

The blue hair part is right, though I'm quite sure she doesn't have heterochromia.

Originally Posted by LoweGear

It's quite easy to shop an image to create Tesla

It is?

Originally Posted by LoweGear

Because he actually deliversssss

Have to agree on that.

Originally Posted by Chaos2Frozen

RANDOM?! I gave it a whole night's build up and nearly 2 pages!

Originally Posted by Chaos2Frozen

Oh yeah? Tell that to this image that Keroko himself made.

And not to mention the previous one with her in Jacket.

And even if Keroko did change something while I was gone...

Reminds me that I forgot to save this one. *saves*

Originally Posted by Chaos2Frozen

Please, I prefer to call them acolytes.

Acolytes? That low?

Originally Posted by LoweGear

*munches popcorn with glee*

You're really enjoying this aren't you. =\

Originally Posted by LoweGear

It's all because of the... Chemistry

*RUNS FASTER*

*sweat drops* Chemistry? Are you sure?

Originally Posted by Kagerou

Is it gay if you <3 Kyonko?

Is it masturbation if Kyon does Kyonko? *runs*

Originally Posted by LoweGear

What is this and why is it awesome?

Supposedly Tesla. Though the figure doesn't look quite the same. Love the outfit though.

[LoweGear]

Originally Posted by Fuyu no Sora

Our Chemistry?

He and I have a Chemistry?????

Do explain please. It's late over here and I'm really not getting you...

Originally Posted by Merriam-Webster

1: a science that deals with the composition, structure, and properties of substances and with the transformations that they undergo
2 a: the composition and chemical properties of a substance <the chemistry of iron> b: chemical processes and phenomena (as of an organism) <blood chemistry>
3 a: a strong mutual attraction, attachment, or sympathy <they have a special chemistry> b: interaction between people working together; specifically : such interaction when harmonious or effective <a team lacking chemistry>

*RUNS FASTER*

Originally Posted by ghazghkull

O.o

Do you know what you're implying?! *Runs after Lowe*

Oh yes I do

*keeps running*

Originally Posted by FieryAeon

*Passes Lowe some popcorn* Nice show.

Yeah

[Chaos2Frozen]

Originally Posted by Fuyu no Sora

Also Known As: Your slaves.

It least it sounds cooler.

Originally Posted by Fuyu no Sora

Hmm, even if I'm still depressed you amuse me greatly. Thank you *smile*

*Back up all the way to the wall*

Originally Posted by ghazghkull

Wait...is this supposed to be Keroko's other Knight, Tesla?

The one who's relationship with Keroko is synonomous to the relationship shared by Fate and Signum?!

Po-tay-to

Po-tar-to

Originally Posted by Kagerou

What is this and why is it awesome?

You don't need to know, as long as it's awesome.

Originally Posted by Liingo

Wait what?

*Smash a chair on Liingo's head from behind*

Originally Posted by FieryAeon

We? I'm not part of the scourge!

Yet...

Originally Posted by FieryAeon

The blue hair part is right, though I'm quite sure she doesn't have heterochromia.

Exactly.

Originally Posted by FieryAeon

Have to agree on that.

Mwuhahahaha!!!

Originally Posted by FieryAeon

Acolytes? That low?

Hey, if my master gets acolytes, well I want them too!

Beside, you get a bonus, remember?

Originally Posted by FieryAeon

Supposedly Tesla. Though the figure doesn't look quite the same. Love the outfit though.

MASAKA!

You have gone where no man has gone before !

[FlameSparkZ]

Originally Posted by Chaos2Frozen

House: "No there is not a thin line between love and hate, there is in fact a great wall with armed sentries posted every twenty feet!"

Originally Posted by Chaos2Frozen

Originally Posted by Chaos2Frozen

Please, I prefer to call them acolytes.

Originally Posted by Fuyu no Sora

Amusing to you people, huh?

Ah well, what can we do about it....People always did enjoy our "shows"

Originally Posted by LoweGear

It's all because of the... Chemistry

*RUNS FASTER*

Originally Posted by Fuyu no Sora

Our Chemistry?

He and I have a Chemistry?????

Do explain please. It's late over here and I'm really not getting you...

Originally Posted by Kagerou

So this.
I like this.

Good...
So far, you're the only one who hasn't SHAFTED me

This is what happens when someone mentions Zafira, T3H Shafted One, but not enough times to unshaft him

*runs*

[FieryAeon]

Originally Posted by Chaos2Frozen

*Back up all the way to the wall*

Unusual behaviour is scary?

Originally Posted by Chaos2Frozen

Po-tay-to

Po-tar-to

Another thing I never understood.

Originally Posted by Chaos2Frozen

Yet...

I'd be willing to. If only for the goods.

Originally Posted by Chaos2Frozen

Mwuhahahaha!!!

>.<'

Originally Posted by Chaos2Frozen

Hey, if my master gets acolytes, well I want them too!

Beside, you get a bonus, remember?

But if you are an acolyte to your master, then where does that leave your acolytes?

Originally Posted by Chaos2Frozen

MASAKA!

You have gone where no man has gone before !

I don't really get what you are trying to say..though I have my suspicions, and I don't think it's something innocent.

To answer to that, no I have not gone where no man has gone before. Though I wish I could. *runs*

[Chaos2Frozen]

Originally Posted by FieryAeon

Unusual behaviour is scary?

No, that's not it.

Originally Posted by FieryAeon

I'd be willing to. If only for the goods.

Name your price.

Red? Blue? Blond? Green? Black? Purple?

Long? Short?

Human? Mixed?

Legal? Illegal?

Originally Posted by FieryAeon

But if you are an acolyte to your master, then where does that leave your acolytes?

Oh, you don't have to worry about that.

I've surpassed my master for the last 2 years already.

Originally Posted by FieryAeon

I don't really get what you are trying to say..though I have my suspicions, and I don't think it's something innocent.

To answer to that, no I have not gone where no man has gone before. Though I wish I could. *runs*

Think about it, the only way you would truely know Tesla's figure judging from the way you've said it is to expreience it yourself.

[Kha]

Feels good to be eating the popcorn and not watching others doing so like usual.

Originally Posted by LoweGear

Hmmmm....

One of Erio and I's ideas about Lockon was his IS: Invincible Charmer...

And since Cinque has an eyepatch...

...and not only do both have it on the same side... Cinque is Kha the haremaker's imouto and Erio the loli-haremaker's VA as well... dakara...

Originally Posted by LoweGear

Nah, there'll be no Felt here.

Hint: The girl is an already existing OC

*whistles*

I meant Felt's colleague...

...ha? 1 more question: yours and others?

Originally Posted by LoweGear

I don't think the latter is my fault

It's hard to tell who's around you when you are getting Feared all over the shop!

[tshouryuu]

Originally Posted by AdmiralTigerclaw

From age Six, young Lynn had been enchanted with the idea of becoming an Enforcer. A protector of the peace who would matte out justice to the unjust, and protect the people.
It was unfortunate that the accident that resulted in the Abandoned City on Mid Childa killed her parents and left her orphaned before age eight.

If I recall correct, Lynn is 32. If I also remember correctly, the accident, you're planning to use Precia as the main culprit aka the incident that got her banished from Mid-childa. If I'm not wrong that incident happened in MCY0039 which would mean Lynn isn't born yet . You have to revise this idea a bit.

Originally Posted by AdmiralTigerclaw

Feeling betrayed by the universe at the eradication of her happy childhood, she became determined to prove herself as an Enforcer, and to bring criminals everywhere to justice. So much was her determination and anger that before she even reached puberty, she was subjecting her body to a grueling physical training regimen that bordered on torturous...
Her daily routine involved magic channelling to strengthen her Linker Core, which she would perform until she began to grow tired. She would then rest before continuing with her physical excersizes, which involved involved demanding upper and lower body training regimens, and exhausting cardio activities such as weighted puships and situps, and fartlick runs. She had to be hospitalized multiple times for various physical injuries as a result, ranging from stress fractures, to shin splints, to strained and torn muscles. Luckly, magic is good at healing this kind of damage, and her young age made recooperation much easier. Official examinations were however, impressed by her immaculate care of her Linker Core. It was a stark contrast that she carefully pushed it without stressing it, compared to her near abusive mistreatment of her physical body. Over the course of her hospitalizations, with some prodding by staff, she learned the limits of her body and further refined her training routine to maximize improvement, and minimize injury.

This does not compute well, if she can subject herself to training that would injure her, her training her linker core that carefully is extremely unlikely. The most likely scenario is that she would subject her linker core to extreme training as well.

Originally Posted by AdmiralTigerclaw

By the time she took the Enforcer Exams, she'd all but developed a personal training regimen that was impressive even to veteran TSAB officals, and for the most part, safe.

In what way would it be safe? That sort of training is what I would call insane and dumb. If she hadn't subject her self to that sort of torturous routine, I'm willing to say its impressive.

Originally Posted by AdmiralTigerclaw

During the exams, she quickly earned the respect of instructors. Her extremely high tolerance for physical pain, outstanding stamina, and unprecidented understanding of her own body allowed her not only to perform extremely well, but allowed her to continue for several hours without rest. In mock battle routines, instructors were particularly impressed with her early developement of her Flash Step routine, in which she often surprised them when she covered distance in such astounding precision that she could go from twenty meters out, to merely one step in front of them with almost no time to react.

Here is another problem. Who was teaching her? Where did she learn all of those from? Who did she practice with to get that kind of accuracy? What about her anger? If anything, she would constantly fail the enforcer exams due to her psychological problems. Her motivations are also extremely off in my opinion. You had her as being angry as age 8. Revenge is more likely her motivation instead of being a peace keeper. None of her skills reflect that of a peace keeper but that of an avenger. My suggestion is to either change her motivations (which means go rethink and rewrite your character history) or change her abilities (meaning to go redo her spell list and abilities + part of her history).

Originally Posted by AdmiralTigerclaw

Once past the Enforcer Exams and accepted into the advanced training program, she quickly directed herself to learning how to fly. She continued to develope more and more vicious close combat skills as she did so, evolving her Flash Step further until she could litterally make an entire series of twenty meter 'steps' so fast the instructors decided that ranged attacks for her would be a waste of effort, and had her concentrait on increasing the abilities of her melee skills. Her Flash Step Series eventually began looking like a fast paced dance as her grace in the combat arts improved, earning it a name that stuck... Flash Dance. By the end of the advanced training period, it was commented that 'range' was an illusion in the face of her precision close combat skills.

This might be possible but here is the problem. There isn't any evidence that there is further training after joining the enforcers. If you want this, I suggest you have to do this before she joins the enforcers. If there is any sort of training, it would most like in the form of an Agent giving his aide some training. The most likely thing is that you have to train and polish your skills yourself.

Originally Posted by AdmiralTigerclaw

During her first year of active duty as an enforcer, she continued to strive for more power. She had noted, that one of the key drawbacks for a melee specialist was that most ranged fighters had developed strong defensive barriers or fields that protected them from attack long enough to return fire in force. Against a Melee specialist, who could be brought down quickly if they don't keep the pressure up, this was her first serious hurdle, and she attacked it with the same fervent attitude as her early training. Her researching into frontline specialists didn't help, it just seemed that barriers were typically a matter of power vs overpower, and in that light, she fell back into her strength training regimine a little more.

Striving for more power is not the way of a peace keeper like I mentioned before but otherwise this part seems ok.

Originally Posted by AdmiralTigerclaw

It was actually almost an accident that she came across the answer. After dealing with a Mass Weapons case, her interest had been piqued when she'd seen some of the more interesting weapons that had been confiscated from a black market dealer. Doing some research, she discovered various weapons mechansisms. Shaped Charge Explosives, Sabotted Long Rod Penetraitors, armor piercing rounds. They all relied on fundamental concepts that involved armor, and defeating armor. It was then she realized that beating defense wasn't just massive strength, but could be a more efficient application of lesser strength. Her research lead her to realize that the key in all the weapons was applying their maximum force, to as small an area as possible, in as little time as possible.

This part is ok I guess except for one thing. Midchilda banned conventional weaponry, how the hell would she even know of such things even if she encounters them and how would she even know how do those things work? For example, if you're studying to be a policeman, would you go find out how is a broadsword designed to cut through armour except purely as a personal interest?

Originally Posted by AdmiralTigerclaw

Working over the course of several months, Lynn began to focus on drawing magical energy into a point and delivering as much as she could into a single blow. It took her six months in total, but with a little effort, she managed to control this flow and boosted her physical abilities until it seemed her physical pressence without even using a barrier jacket had become Iron like her will. The technique became known as Iron Will, Iron Fist. But this still wasn't enough. She needed to BREAK barriers. It took another year, but watching mages performing Buster Attacks in the sky above her one day, it hit her. All that energy in a buster, a long drawn out beam... What could it do in a quarter second impacting an area no bigger around than her own fist?

Her superiors were confused with her sudden desire to learn a powerful ranged technique, but the day came after that one year of work where she called out her supervisor and asked him to defend himself with everything he had. He agreed to the test, and he did so, for about all of ten seconds. Lynn closed the distance as she always did, but then she flanked him with a Flash Dance, then as he defended from her melee with his strongest barrier, she struck with an attack he hadn't seen her preparing. In the subsiquent flash of light, the staff looking on said the barrier shattered, and Lynn's supervisor took a full punch straight to the jaw and was KOed instantly. Lynn admitted the blow to her supervisor's face was unintentional, and she only wanted to break the barrier. However, the test was a success, and Lynn revealed what she had been working on, the developement of her Point Buster, a modified version of the Divine Buster attack.

Nitpick: If it was a modified divine buster which releases all the power at point range against a barrier, I find it hard to believe Lynn did not suffer any sort of backlash. Also even with such an attack, this ability should not ever be a guarantee barrier break attack. The only attack known so far for guarantee barrier break is the Starlight Breaker and Nanoha cannot spam this unlike what your attack is suggesting.

Originally Posted by AdmiralTigerclaw

This event marked a turning point in her career. Her performance had only improved, she was often the first into battle, often the first to make contact with hostiles, and often the first to take them down as well. The successful employment of her new barrier breaking attack only increased this count.
Lynn was called in for a special exam, one in which she passed easily, classifying her as able to act as a Solo Mage. Based on those results, she was transfered from the regular division, over to the Special Weapons And Tactics Division as part of a small group of Enforcers Specialized solely in Attack and Sting Operations. The Shock Enforcers.

She is a very powerful combatant but I do not believe she she can be a solo mage. Power is not everything. Tactics, Teamwork, neither of this she has should any. She tactics solely consist of beating down the opponent in the shortest amount of time... Her being a solo mage just based on her power is an insult to Fate who is a S+ ranker mage. And the problem with Shock Enforcers is this. Where the hell were they when Jail attacked with the Cradle? It seems like its right up their alley.

Originally Posted by AdmiralTigerclaw

With her new 'elite' status, came the perks. The Shock Enforcers have a full support unit just for them who quickly developed her an Armred Device customized precisely to suit her needs. With their help, she quickly imported her concepts for barrier breaker attacks into new attacks for the device. A short time later, she approached them with a request for any possible way to be able to launch a magic attack the very moment she wanted it, any way to bypass the long, disadvantagous charging time required to use a barrier breaker attack. It took the team some time to figure it out, but eventually the P.A.C. system was developed. It wasn't all that good, but Lynn said it did what she wanted, and that was enough.

Why do you even need the P.A.C system for when there are perfectly good cartridges that could be built into the armed device instead? Is it that much problem for her to hold the device with one hand and use the cartridges to power the attack on the other? As you said the P.A.C isn't that good so why use it when there is a better and more useful alternative?

Originally Posted by AdmiralTigerclaw

Lynn in person isn't as frightening as she is in combat, having earned the nickname the Angel of Death from her enemies... Polite, but serious, she doesn't look to provoke, and doesn't bother to insult, patronize, or otherwise do any kind of deliberate brown nosing. She quite simply, states facts as she sees them. Which can be quite frustrating to some, but her fearsome reputation keeps most people who don't know her from voicing counter oppinions. She has a fond appreciation for those who strive to improve themselves and hard workers.

This part shouldn't be a problem except I doubt anyone would talk to her with her reputation.

Its better than the previous revision but its still flawed. Overall, the way Lynn is built totally contradicts her stated motivation. She is a fighter not a protector and enforcers are more or less similar to police imo than marines. Lynn would fit in well with marines but not the police. Think about this.

[FieryAeon]

Originally Posted by Chaos2Frozen

No, that's not it.

Right.

Originally Posted by Chaos2Frozen

Name your price.

Red? Blue? Blond? Green? Black? Purple?

Long? Short?

Human? Mixed?

Legal? Illegal?

Any combination! Oh wait...what do you mean by illegal?
*runs*

Originally Posted by Chaos2Frozen

Oh, you don't have to worry about that.

I've surpassed my master for the last 2 years already.

Doesn't make me feel better.

Originally Posted by Chaos2Frozen

Think about it, the only way you would truely know Tesla's figure judging from the way you've said it is to expreience it yourself.

I knew you were talking about something like that. No I haven't! Cuz if I did I'd have Keroko-tan unleashed upon me.

Though I'm pretty sure everyone here would love the chance to experience it.

[Chaos2Frozen]

Originally Posted by FieryAeon

Right.

No really, it's not.

Originally Posted by FieryAeon

Any combination! Oh wait...what do you mean by illegal?
*runs*

What do you THINK it means

Spoiler for possible young Signum:

Originally Posted by FieryAeon

Doesn't make me feel better.

It's not about you

Originally Posted by FieryAeon

I knew you were talking about something like that. No I haven't! Cuz if I did I'd have Keroko-tan unleashed upon me.

That only means that you haven't got caught