...I still need to finish Morrowind (for the PC) (with both expansions), and then I have Oblivion (PC) to play after that...also need to finish Fable: The Lost Chapters (PC again), keep on going through the Heaven's Feel route of F/sn, and then there's Final Fantasy VI Advance, Super Metroid (using SNES emulator), Sword of Mana (GBA), Magical Starsign (DS), and I'm sure there are other games that I have that I started playing but drifted away from...
Oh, I also started playing LoZ: Majora's Mask. Haven't gotten very far into it, but it seems interesting so far.
Just getting ready for Wrath of the Lich King, ie stocking raw materials to sell at skyhigh prices once the expansion hits, and leveling more characters to 60. And study for tests... Busy busy busy.
What? First thing I thought of when I saw Amata was "She likes me." Then, the overseer confirmed my suspicions. Now, to get out of the vault and make it into DC. Which, incidentally, is where I live right now... Wait... Since I'm playing on a laptop, I could walk everywhere my character walks...
Map is also partially accurate to realworld DC, so it's kinda neat.
Also Amata is a little baby. Who is she to tell me off? I DID WHAT I HAD TO DO, YOU SILLY GIRL!
Vol 1 chap 2 part 2, edited. God I had something like three chances to do this, but I kept putting it off. It honestly felt like work until I started actually editing it. After that and some procrastinating, it just flowed.
Still took me a while...
Spoiler:
It was after school. I had major misgivings about the entire thing, so why were my legs still carrying me towards the clubroom? While I was making such meaningless observations, I found myself already at the door.
"Hey!" I greeted the people inside.
Naturally, Nagato Yuuki was already sitting there, along with Asahina-senpai. I'm not one to talk, but those two certainly have a lot of free time on their hands.
Asahina-senpai greeted me with an obvious look of relief on his face. Guess being stuck in a room alone with Nagato could be awkward, but... I’m surprised he still came after being abused by Haruki yesterday.
"Where's Suzumiya-san?" he asked.
"God knows. I haven't seen him since sixth period. He's probably gone to steal more equipment from somewhere..."
"...Will, um, will I be forced... to do something like what happened yesterday... again?"
Seeing his brow creased with worry, I tried to be as gentle as possible.
"Don't worry. If he tries anything strange again, I'll do everything in my power to stop him! He can use his own body for blackmail! Maybe I'm not as strong as he is, but I'm sure I can get him to listen to me."
"...T-thank you!" Asahina-senpai said, giving me a cute little bow. I wanted to just throw my arms around him! I didn't, though. People would probably get the wrong idea. "And… and me too! I’ll try to stand up to him as well! … a bit…"
"That’s the spirit!" I said.
[D-note: So, here’s an idea. Instead of making Asahina completely pathetic to the point where he has to rely on someone who is just as small as he is, a year younger, and of the fairer sex, let’s have at least attempt to stand up for himself and then just miserably fail. Because then we can at least sympathize for him. After all, everybody loves the underdog.]
My assurances might have counted for something, though, if they hadn't lasted as long as a baseless theory, a house of cards, or perhaps a water droplet on the surface of the sun. Within five minutes, my assurances had all been thrown straight out the window.
"Ya-HOOO!" Haruki exclaimed loudly as he entered the room, carrying two paper bags along with him. "Took me longer than expected, sorry for the delay!"
[D-note: Concerning Kyonko’s present, don’t you think it would be better for her to have totally forgotten it, so that Haruki can spring it up on her?]
Just like you, isn't it? For somebody as capable of thinking on as many weird levels as Haruki, being considerate of others is probably the last thing on his mind.
Placing the paper bags on the ground, Haruki turned and locked the door. Asahina-senpai reflexively shuddered upon hearing the door click.
"What are you planning today, Suzumiya? And before you start, I'm putting my foot down! We're not getting involved in any more theft or blackmail!"
"What are you talking about? I’d never do something like that!”
Really? Then explain the computer on the desk.
"Tribute from my vassals. Anyway, moving on... take a look at THIS!"
He pulled out a bunch of A4-sized papers from one of the bags.
"These fliers will spread the Word of the SOS Brigade to everyone! Believe me, it took me a lot of hard work to sneak into the photocopying room and print these 200 fliers!"
Haruki handed out the fliers to us. So that's what you were doing during sixth period? You should count yourself lucky you didn't get caught! I bet the teachers are already wondering what happened to all the paper in the photocopier.
Res Gestae Divi Suzumiya
A Proclamation of the SOS Brigade:
We, the SOS Brigade, are searching for all of the mysteries of this world. We welcome anyone who has experienced, is experiencing, or sense that they will experience any kind of supernatural or mysterious event to contact us for consultation. We will strive to answer any and all questions. However, please note that we do not handle normal paranormal events. It must be deemed an extremely shocking mystery before we will take your cause! Our email address is..."
I think I'm getting a faint idea about Haruki's expectations for the SOS Brigade.
"Right, it's time to go hand them out now!"
"What? Where?"
"At the school gate, of course! There should be plenty of students heading home right now!"
Yes, yes, yes, whatever you say, Commander Haruki. But as I was picking up the bag of fliers, Haruki stopped me. "Don't you worry 'bout it. I only need Mitsuuru-kun for this job!"
"Eh?"
Asahina-senpai, who was still half-way through reading a flier, looked up. Haruki rummaged through the other bag and suddenly pulled out another item.
"Voila!"
Smiling as happily as a robotic cat, Haruki pulled out a piece of black leather. But as Haruki finished pulling items from his four-dimensional bag, I understood immediately why he had designated Asahina-senpai for this particular task. Asahina-senpai, you have my prayers!
[D-note: I’m pretty sure, Haruki does not have a fourth-dimensional pocket, but rather a fourth-dimensional bag. If I remember correctly, he just put all this crap INCLUDING the fliers in a bag.]
Black leather pants, a bow tie, white cuffs, and a sleeveless white tuxedo shirt.
...Chippendales!?
"Um... um... what are those... for?" asked Asahina-senpai, sounding frightened. And with good reason, too.
"Can't you tell? Strip-per!" said Haruki, matter-of-factly.
"Y-y-you can't m-mean... for me to w-wear tha-"
"Course I do! There's one for you, see?"
"I c-can't wear something like t-that!" Asahina-senpai protested, but Haruki waved away his argument.
"Don't worry, it’ll fit perfectly! I know your measurements off by heart!"
"W-when did you…?! Um. Y... you don't mean for me to wear that at the school entrance, d-do you?"
“Of course! Aren’t you a man?!"
"Wh-what does that have to d-do with being a ma-"
"Bah! Quit complaining!”
Too late; Haruki had that flinty look in his eye. Like a tiger attacking a stray samba deer, Haruki leapt onto Asahina-senpai and began to rip off his uniform.
"N-NOoooOOoOoO-!"
"Don't be such a wuss! Stop moving!" Haruki demanded as he pinned down the struggling Asahina-senpai. He easily pulled off Asahina-senpai's blazer and his fingers were already moving towards Asahina-senpai's pants, which was about the point when I finally thought to try and stop Haruki's insanity. But as I moved forwards to try and drag Haruki off him, Asahina-senpai's eyes met mine.
"D-DON'T LOOK!!"
Hearing his scream, my body overrode my brain and rushed me off to the door- damnit, it's locked! I spent a couple of seconds furiously struggling with the doorknob before it yielded and I stumbled out into the corridor.
And based on the only side-glance I got during the whole ordeal, Yuuki Nagato just sat there the entire time, reading his book as though nothing were happening. Don't you have anything to say about this? This is totally wrong!
As I leaned against the closed door, catching my breath, I could hear Asahina-senpai's protests and screams, mixed in with Haruki's victory cries.
"Arrrrgh! - Noooooo! A-at least let me undress myse- GAAAAAH!!"
"Damnit- come on, take it all off, quickly! You should have just listened to me in the first place-"
I really, really didn't want to think about what was happening inside the room.
A moment later, Haruki's voice came through the door.
"Hey! Get back in here and check us out!”
When I hesitantly re-entered the room, I was greeted by the sight of two swinging Chippendale dancers. Haruki, predictably, fit the costume like he was born for it, but Asahina-senpai... well, his personality didn't really go with the outfit. Even if he looked really good in it.
I wondered whether to try and comfort the sobbing Asahina-senpai with a compliment, but Haruki interrupted first.
"What'dya think?"
What do I think? I can only think that your mental capabilities are suspect.
"This is perfect for grabbing everybody's attention!" Haruki declared. "Everybody will want fliers if we walk around like this! Especially... if I do THIS!"
With that declaration, Haruki began slowly to unbutton his shirt while gyrating his hips and rocking his head from side to side. Oh my god. I knew my face was beet-red when I shouted:
"S-Stop that, you idiot!"
That was the only thing I could think of to say.
“What? You don’t like it?”
“Please, just promise me you won’t do that in public...”
“But that’d defeat the purpose of wearing something like this in the first place!"
"Look, if you do weird stuff like that right out in the open, of course people are gonna look at you funny... hang on, what about Nagato-kun?"
"I could only buy two of them, you know. A full set is pretty expensive."
"Where'd you get this stuff, anyway?"
"Internet."
"... Right."
Haruki picked up the paper bag containing the flyers. "Let's go, Mitsuuru-kun!"
Asahina-senpai, with his arms across his chest, looked to me for salvation. I'm sorry, Asahina-senpai, but I just can't dredge up any resistance... Haruki might start stripping again.
He tried to resist, clinging onto the table and crying like a little kid, but Asahina-senpai was no match for Haruki's ridiculous strength. He and his cries of despair were swiftly dragged away, and the two Chippendales disappeared from the room. I sank back into my chair with an overwhelming feeling of guilt.
"...There."
Nagato Yuuki was pointing at the ground. Correction: he was pointing at the discarded North High uniforms lying in a scattered heap, and… [b]a pair of heart-patterned boxer shorts...[b]
The thin, bespectacled boy remained silent as his finger swept from the heap of clothes on the ground to the garment rack on the other side of the room. Couldn't you do it yourself? Sighing, I gathered up all the clothes and put on the rack.
Gah, I could still feel the body heat on them!
About half an hour later, an exhausted Asahina-senpai returned. It looked as though he had been crying. Should I say something? I hurriedly offered him my chair, and just like last time, he simply collapsed onto the table, his shoulders trembling. Apparently, he didn't even have the energy to change. In the face of such despair, my maternal instincts kicked in, and I removed my cardigan and draped it around his little shoulders.
The uncontrollably sobbing 'dancer', the unresponsive bookworm, and the bewildered normal high-school girl sat quietly in a record-breaking event for “most awkward moment ever.” In the distance, above the uncomfortable silence and Asahina-senpai's sobs, I could just make out the yells and cheers of the Baseball Club.
As I was thinking of such insignificant things like what to make for dinner tonight, Haruki returned. Scowling.
"Damn them! Damn those teachers! They always get in the way!"
He was venting, still in the Chippendale outfit. I already had a vague idea of what had happened, but I asked anyway.
"What? Was there a problem?"
"More than a problem! We were only halfway through our fliers when along come some stupid teachers who tell us to ‘Stop right now!’ What the hell's wrong with them?" he fumed.
Idiot! If the teachers just sat there and ignored two students dressed up as Chippendales handing out flyers at the school entrance, then that would be a paranormal mystery for you to solve!
"Mitsuuru-kun was nearly in tears, and then I got dragged off to see the Principal, and then Handball Queen Okabe showed up!"
I’ll bet the Principal and Okabe-sensei probably didn't know where to put their eyes when looking at you dressed in that outfit.
"Gah, this is so INFURIATING!" Haruki roared. "That's it for today! DISMISSED!!" Haruki tore the cuffs from his hands and threw them to the ground. I managed to get out of the room before he had managed to completely remove his shirt.
"How long are you going to cry like that? Hurry up and change!"
I leaned against the corridor wall as I waited for the guys to finish changing. Guess that Haruki really wasn't an exhibitionist or anything, he was just totally clueless to the effect that his half-naked body would have on people. He probably hadn't chosen the Chippendale outfit because it was... sexy... but because it would attract people's attention.
He'd never be able to have a normal, serious relationship, I guess.
I really wish he'd be more concerned about how girls thought about him. At the very least, I wish he'd be concerned about me! All this running around with a crazy person was really tiring. And besides, for Asahina-senpai's sake, I had to wish for such an improvement. Although I had yet to hear Nagato's opinion...
[D-note: Hahaha, Kyonko is such a tsundere.]
Asahina-senpai eventually emerged from the room staggering forward, looking like a student who had just failed his college entrance exams. Not knowing quite what to say, I remained silent.
"Kyon-nee-chan..."
His voice sounded as insubstantial as the whisper of a ghost from a haunted sunken cruise ship.
"[b]How long will this go on?"
...what could I say...? Haruki is just too much for me or anyone for that matter. And hey, why are you calling me Kyon? And why nee-chan?!
Asahina-senpai returned my cardigan to me in a robotic kind of manner. Just as I was wondering if he'd fall into my arms and start sobbing, he had already drifted off.
Poor kid… dammit, Haruki!
Don't worry, Asahina-senpai. If it makes you feel better, you can call me nee-chan all you want.
Asahina-senpai didn't come to school the next day.
Haruki was already famous before, but after the Chippendale incident, his eccentricity and weirdness transcended mere notoriety to become the stuff of school legend. Not that I cared, because Haruki's actions were NOT MY FAULT. Not my fault in any way, shape, or form!
What I did care about was the fact that my name, as well as poor Asahina-senpai's name had become somehow linked to his. That, and people were giving me weird looks.
"Damn, Kyon, looks like you're one of Suzumiya's merry friends now, eh?"
It was break. Taniguchi was being irritating as usual.
"I never expected anybody to get close to Suzumiya-san. Guess anything's possible, right?"
Oh, shut up!
"I was so surprised, though. Seeing male strippers while I was heading home... I thought I was dreaming!"
Kunikida had joined in our conversation, carrying a familiar-looking flier with her.
"So what’s this “SOS Brigade”? What's it all about?"
Ask Haruki. I have no idea. I don't know, and I don't want to know. Even if I did, I wouldn't want to waste words on it, either.
"It asks us to tell you guys of any paranormal events, but it doesn't define what those are. And, what does it mean by not handling 'normal' paranormal events?"
Aggh, stop talking! I don’t want to think about it!
Even Asakura Ryou came to have a word with me. That was when I started to feel really guilty.
"I see you guys are having fun, but... that incident yesterday was way overboard. You guys went way too far!"
I guess I should've skipped school today, too.
Haruki was still mad. On one hand, he was mad about the teachers stopping him from handing out his fliers; on the other hand, he was pissed off about the fact that the official SOS Brigade E-Mail Inbox was completely empty. I had expected one or two prank e-mails, at least, but it turned out that people were more sensible than I thought. I guess everybody had already realized that getting involved with Suzumiya Haruki could only lead to trouble.
Haruki scowled at the empty inbox, shaking the optical mouse vigorously.
"Why is no one sending us any mail?!"
"It's only been one day" I said, trying to appease him. "Maybe there's all these tales of supernatural happenings out there, but nobody wants to tell a newcomer club like ours?"
I don’t think I was very convincing.
If someone did contact us, it'd probably go something like...
‘Have you experienced any paranormal events?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Oh, that's great, then please tell me.’ ‘All right, actually...’
Oh, please! Like that'd happen.
Listen, Haruki, that kind of crap only happens in comic books or some cheap light novels series- in fiction. Reality, like I've said before, is far more severe and far, far more serious than that. There's no giant conspiracies to destroy the world originating from our little prefecture high school, there's no mutants walking around in our peaceful suburbs, and there's no spaceship half-buried in the side of this hill. That kind of stuff is impossible. You hear me? Not a single one of those could ever possibly happen.
The truth is, underneath all this craziness and weirdness, you understand this, don't you? All this eccentricity is just a way to release the fustrations of youth, right? But you should snap out of it! You should just settle down and find a girlfriend who'll walk with you to school in the morning or go with you to the movies on Sunday! Or join a sports club, and knock yourself out. With your ability, they'd snap you up in a flash!
...least, that's what I wanted to say. But I had the feeling I'd only be able to get about the first five lines out before I'd get a fist in the face.
"Did Mitsuuru-kun take the day off today?" Haruki asked.
"He might never come back to school." I muttered darkly. "I hope he wasn’t permanently traumatized by what you did yesterday, poor kid..."
"Awww, man! And I'd just gotten a new costume for him today, too!"
"Can’t you just wear these things by yourself?!”
"What? No, this one wouldn’t fit me at all. Which reminds me..." Haruki grinned. “I finally got you that present I promised you, remember?”
I had forgotten and I wished I wouldn’t ever have to remember. I already don’t like where this is going…
“Oh! Look at the time! I promised to prepare dinner tonight! I gotta go, bye!”
I dashed out of the clubroom to Haruki’s shouts of ‘Hey, wait!’ Damnit, Nagato, can’t you ever say anything at all?
Haruki’s long-awaited ‘Mysterious Transfer Student’ had finally arrived!
Haruki himself told me the ‘great’ news before homeroom the next day.
"It’s awesome, isn’t it? The transfer student's finally here!" Haruki said gleefully, hovering over my desk like a preschooler finally getting the toy he'd always wanted. I had no idea where he'd gotten the info, but apparently a student was transferring into Class 1-9 today.
"This is a once-in-a-lifetime chance! I guess it's unfortunate that they're not in our class, but still - definitely a Mysterious Transfer Student, no doubt about that!"
You've never even met the person, how can you be so sure?
"Didn't I tell you? Studies show that a high percentage of students who transfer to schools in the middle of the school term are Mysterious!"
Where on earth did you get such a statistic? The Internet? Aren’t 75.6% percent of all statistics just made up on the spot? Besides, if everyone who gets transferred in the middle of May is abnormal, then Japan would be practically exploding with Mysterious Transfer Students.
Haruki's train of thought couldn't be stopped by mere logic. At the end of first period, Haruki instantly bolted out of the classroom, probably off to 1-9 to scout out our Mysterious Transfer Student.
Just before the bell rang to signal the next class, Haruki returned, looking slightly perplexed.
"Well? A Mysterious Transfer Student, or an ordinary transfer student?"
"Didn't really seem that Mysterious..." he said, frowning. Well, duh.
"We talked for a bit, but I'm not quite sure yet... they might just be pretending to be a totally normal person though, that's still a possibility. I mean, nobody's going to expose their true identity on the first day, are they? I'll go ask again next break."
Oh, don't. You probably startled the 1-9 students. I could just picture the scene; a normal, bustling classroom, suddenly interrupted by legendary eccentric Suzumiya Haruki, who bursts into the room and grabs the nearest student. "Where's the Mysterious Transfer Student?!" he yells, and the second somebody answers off he charges in the direction indicated. And then he forces his way into the transfer student's conversation and starts interrogating them. "Where are you from? What's your true identity? Are you an alien? Will you marry me?"
A bit like a weird, botched cross-examination, I'd guess.
Aggh, just thinking about it gives me a headache!
I thought of something else, however.
"Guy or girl?"
Haruki paused. "Well... might be a cross-dresser, or in disguise or something, but... looks like a girl, to me."
Then she's a girl!
Well, it looks like the SOS Brigade would finally have another female member besides me. Haruki might just kidnap her out the door and force her to join simply because she's a new transfer student. Guess it'd save me from cosplaying as a bunny girl or something equally as horrifying... but what if the student wasn't as weak-willed as Asahina-senpai and me? Haruki was certainly overbearing, but could he defeat somebody with stronger willpower? Of course, they'd have to also be physically strong enough to stop him from just grapping them and running off...
And if we got the numbers, than Suzumiya might actually have a tiny chance of getting the "Save the World by Overloading it with Fun: Suzumiya Haruki's Brigade" - well, association - officially recognized. And even if it wasn't, guess who would be stuck doing all the menial tasks and the paperwork? I'd be stuck for the rest of my schooling life with the title "Suzumiya Haruki's Subordinate" and live my days in despair!
[D-note: I'M IN DESPPAAAAAAIR!]
I'd never really thought about what I wanted to do after graduation, but I had at least resolved to avoid doing something that would get put on my permanent record. But while I was stuck with Haruki, the chance of getting into some major trouble seemed almost inevitable.
What am I going to do?
In the end, I couldn't do a thing.
I know that I should just have confronted Haruki, then and there.
I should have just lectured him into living a normal life, into having him disband the SOS Brigade. Persuaded him into forgetting about time-travelers, espers and aliens, to get a nice girlfriend and settle down, or to join a sports club and be satisfied. To spend the next three years content as an ordinary student.
If only I had.
If I had a stronger sense of purpose, or self, or willpower, I wouldn't have been sucked into this black hole of weirdness named Suzumiya Haruki. The world would have retained its dignity, and we would have lived out the next three years of our lives as normal high school students, and graduated peacefully, and settled down in the world.
...probably.
The reason I'm saying this now is because I experienced events later that were anything but normal. Although you probably wouldn’t call anything that I’ve experienced so far as “normal.”
Where to begin…?
Well, let's start from the beginning. From the moment our latest member, our mysterious transfer student, arrived in the SOS Brigade's Clubroom...
Goddamn you guys with your next-gen systems and your money.
Next-gen nothing. I grabbed it from Steam; I have yet to get any of the current generation of consoles, although I'm staring really hard at the XBox 360 prices.
Updating archive post with Discreet's edit, by the way.
There's a way to get out without killing the Overseer. I VATS the guard that was with him down the moment he raised his baton, sent the Seer fleeing, and Amata was thanking me. I then threatened to hurt Amata bad in her absence to the Overseer, and he handed me his stuff. Profit. ^_^
A friend managed to pick the Overseer's pockets for the stuff, but he then went to kill the Overseer, so dunno if that's the other way to be on Amata's good side.
I snuck up, blew the guard's head off, and the overseer hid in a corner. I picked his pockets while he was staring right at me. That guy's not very observant.
I guess I'm an uncool kiddie; I'm only playing Mother 3 right now. I'm about to beat it though! I just need to fill everyone's inventory with Beefsteak. Maybe I should get some explosive items for Boney, too...
There's a way to get out without killing the Overseer. I VATS the guard that was with him down the moment he raised his baton, sent the Seer fleeing, and Amata was thanking me. I then threatened to hurt Amata bad in her absence to the Overseer, and he handed me his stuff. Profit. ^_^
A friend managed to pick the Overseer's pockets for the stuff, but he then went to kill the Overseer, so dunno if that's the other way to be on Amata's good side.
You can also lockpick the desk or something to get you the key or hack it to get you out, etc., etc., which I could have very easily done.
However, the Overseer was going mad with power and so were his goons. I had to take every single one of them out. Otherwise the vault would have spiraled out of control into oblivion.
Spoiler:
My only regret is that I could not stay to finish the job.
I have no edits to make to Discreet's edits. I approve entirely and wholeheartedly.
Also, I just hacked the computer. I didn't even bother to help Amata. Stupid girl, she deserves what she gets.
Fallout's NPC interactions are fsking horrific.
I finished today, and left unsatisfied. I'm going to go trekking the wastelands instead.
/EDIT If I ever get a chance, I'll find out a proper name for the document, because "Res Gestae Divi Suzumiya" actually means "Deeds of the Divine Suzumiya", not "A proclamation of the divine Suzumiya".
A little parody version of "Bouken Desho Desho?!" with lyrics and vocals that Kyonko's VA did in less than five minutes.
... That was pretty amusing...
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WARNING: Kogetsu Shirogane cannot be held accountable for any actions taken by someone else. Potential side effects of communicating with this user include headaches, mild confusion, insanity, delirium, and jumping into fires. Do not expose this user to sunlight or water or feed this user after midnight.
2008-11-05, 18:57
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