2004-07-08, 15:22
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Link #2681 |
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Despised
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Right behind you...
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Kakashi: Gai, You are my rival from this point forward.
Gai: Chea, I'm tired of competing, I think I'm just going to grow my hair out like Steven Tyler  *Aerosmith yell*I finally return  I bet you wish I stayed away
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2004-07-08, 18:29
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Link #2682 |
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Scruffy Nerf Herder
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: The Real World
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 Lawyer - As you can plainly see on this full motion video, my client was sexually harassed by a one "Uzumaki Naruto." Kabuto - That is assault! That is assault!!! *Jiraiya stands up in the courtroom seats* Jiraiya - If it please the court, I have something to show the jury. Judge - I'm going to allow this. Jiraiya - I think this says it all. 
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2004-07-09, 13:08
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Link #2684 |
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Scourge of the Seven Seas
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Where you least expect it.
Age: 45
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Lawyer: I have video testimony from another victim. We have changed his name to SasuGAY to protect his identity.
SasuGAY: I was sitting in class one day when [the defendant] came up to me and planted a big wet one on my lips. I was scarred for life! He used his tongue! Now, because of him, I am no longer capable of having a normal relationship and am constantly running to my yaoi lover, MJ (name changed for protection). Plus, I am in deep financial trouble because of my need to buy gallons of KY. I am never going to have a normal life because of him! |
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2004-07-09, 19:51
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Link #2685 | |
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Scruffy Nerf Herder
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: The Real World
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Quote:
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2004-07-09, 22:06
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Link #2686 |
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Brutal Killer Math Logic
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Deep in the realm of "that's wrong!"
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Kisame: Hey, I see some good money here!
Itachi: Damn right...Let's get you into Harvard Law School! No problemo for me... mwa ha ha ha ha. *One whirlwind semester later* Kisame: Damn. I really hate these 3 piece suits. And WTF is the name of our firm Uchiha and associates?! Hmm...Must figure out legalese way to defeat summoning contracts! ----------------------------- Spoiler: "the 3" comparison: Spoiler:
Last edited by Riese; 2004-07-10 at 15:56. |
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2004-07-10, 15:53
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Link #2687 |
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Hoi!
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Mexico
Age: 36
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Naruto: OMG! What a long thread!
Moon: Yeah, it is long. Naruto: Wow! And it is so funny! Moon: Yeah, yeah, funny. The whole "What a Character Would Never Say Squad": OMG! OMG! We have made such a funny thread. King of The World: OMG! It IS funny! Senseless post over. |
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2004-07-12, 12:22
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Link #2690 |
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Borked
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: In my daydreams
Age: 37
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-: A sunny afternoon in Konoha :-
Orochimaru: Hey! Tsunade/Yiraya: Orochimaru! ! Tsunade: What do you want?!? *Evil stare which only Tsunade can do* Orochimaru: Well... uhm.. I'm sorry... Yiraya: Hmm?.. Sorry? Orochimaru: Uhm.. About all of the evil stuff I've done.. You know, killing the third, trying to destroy Konoha.. Stuff like that? Tsunade: You're sorry?... Orochimaru: Yeah! Sooo - I thought that maybe, we could become friends again? Like the good ol' days.. .. And we could start a Zoo for amphibians and reptilians! - I'd be fun!! Yiraya: Sure.. why not.. hmm, let's go somewhere, Hmm, don't have alot of cash on me though.. Hmm, Tsunade? Wanna play some cards? *evil grin* Tsunade: Sure why not, I'm feeling lucky today...! *Tsunade, Yiraya and Orochimaru wanders off to a bar together* - okay, it's not even remotely funny, but so isn't 99% of the stuff in this thread either, So STFU! =P |
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2004-07-12, 21:46
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Link #2692 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: May 2004
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Naruto: S-Sakura-Chan!! Where are you going?!
Sakura: To Orochimaru's to play with him and Sasuke. Naruto: WHAT!? Sakura: don't worry, I'm not dfecting or anything. Naruto: But don't they know who you are!? Sakura: Nope, They think I'm a young male prostitue. Naruto: ....? Why would they think that. Sakura: (quickly does some hand seals) SEX CHANGE NOJUTSU! (Sakura now looks like a pink haired 13 year old boy with a medium build, jean shorts, and light blue shirt, deep blue eyes. And a bulge in the crouch that makes you swear there has to be a sock in there.) Naruto: NO!! Why sakura, WHY! Can't you see I love YOU! ....Well If you don't want to be with me as a girl.... I'll just have to seduce you to be with me as a GUY! (guick hand seals) SEXY NIN JUTSU HENGE! Sexy Naruto: Caouu.... (the SFX he makes after transforming) Sakura-son, come to me. I've been slacking in my daily training and I must be punished! Sakura-son: (heart beating, hormones rage, big woody) SFX: Goosshhh (nose bleed). You been a bad girl..... Sexy Naruto: Oh, Sakura-son harder! Shikamaru: (enters from side door) Wow, I haven't seen you around here before. Mind if I join in! (disrobes in an instant and runs toward Sex Naruto) SFX: Poof Naruto: WTF Shikamaru. Get away from me; I never knew you where so kinky. Shikamaru: AHH! Is that you naruto! What were you doing with that other boy....*poof*..Sakura-chan!? (put clothes back on) I've heard of role playing but you guys are freaking sick... Sakura: anyways I have to go meet with Oro and Sasuke! laters! Naruto: Dam you shikamaru! You killed my changes with Sakura! And what's worse now I have this huge stock pile of sexual energy I have to get ride of!*Grrrr* (Naruto powers up to kyubi mode, his skin turns red, eyes are red and slitted) Shikamaru: Hey ait a sec naruto. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to... Naruto Rasengan!.... (shikamaru screams Tsuande bursts in) Tsunade: Naruto what have you done. (naruto does some more hand seals) Naruto: Kagebunshin nin jutsu! Neither of you are going to leave this room till I am SATISFIED! (half the clones do Sexy nin jutsu henge). Tsunade: Clam down naruto. Don't do anything rash you know I'm really 50 something. Naruto: But you look 20. (Tsunade and shikaramus screams are heard threw out the village.) Pfft, I need MORE. I need Sakura-chan! (kicks down door) Taju kagebunshin nin jutsu! Taju Kage bunshin nin jutsu! (1 half teh clones) Sexy nin jutsu henge! Main Naruto: Listen up. Spread out and Find Sakura-chan. Search everyone! When you find someone, DO "IT". Then move on, We must CLIMAX!! Hordes of Naruto boys and girls: Hie (whatever they say for YES). Kakashi: Hange Naruto!? Nooo! Gai: Please no I'm still a virgin! Tenten: please don't stop Naruto-chan! Lee: I'll fight you to the death Naruto-chan because I made a nice guy promise that my first love would be with....Gai senei's Turtle! Chouji: Hurray for FATTY! (hand seals) Big Jonhson nin jutsu! Come here Naruto-chan! Naruto-chan: OHH HAAAAA. HAAAAA *Poof*. Chouji: Dam.... I popped another one.... Aftermath: And thus the night everyone slept with Naruto continued untill the early morning. Though some unwilling at first, No one was dissatisfied in the morning. The village ran out of cigaretees by 9 am and thus a war was started with the water country after they misstook the hordes of people needing a "celebratory" smoke for an invading army. It only lasted a few minutes though because they were unable to hold back the masses of nicotine craving victums from naruto's sexcapades. All was settled when the water country surrendered and gave their stockpile of smokes and KY jelly to the leaf village as a sign of truce. Naruto currently pays 1,000,000,000 ryo a month for child support after that night, but it's ok because he works as an entire company of call boys and call girls and currently grosses 1,000,000,000,000 ryo a week. While still finding time to traing and do all of his ninja missions. (Well Oro did get alot of severance pay before he left the leaf village, and he needs to spend it on something.) *It's a little long and a bit over the top. But I luaghed while I was typing it so I didn't feel like stopping. |
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2004-07-13, 14:32
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Link #2696 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: May 2004
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*Setting Sakura-son is in bed lying between Oro-sama and Sasuke-kun at Oro's cabin in the woods.*
Oro: (licks Sakura-son with long tougne) Sakura-son, you seem distracted. Was I not my usual perverted self? Sakura-son: Well you did call out Tsuande's name a few times again. Oro: Dammit... Sasuke-kun: Oro-sama, my lover, Sakura-son has been distracted ever since "That Day.". Oro: Yes, "That Day"... I heard about "That Day". *Oro has a flash back* Oro: Yea, Itachi-son You're back. I've missed you so much! Come to Oro-sama! Itachi  super rapid hand seals) Grand Kyaiton ninjutsu (Fireball)! Oro, you Bastard. I didn't come back to see you! I'll never let you touch me again! Last time you did I had to goto the doctor and use this medicinal KY for a month. Oh, and that whole thng where I murdered my clan because you killed that guy that was following me and they didn't beleive me when I said you killed him and you had been "touching" me."Oro-sama: Oh yeah. Sorry about that. Itachi: No problem. Oro-sama: Anyways, Do you....(flash back is interupted) Sasuke-kun: ORO-SAMA! Not "That Day", "That Day" (sasuke's cheeks turn red) Oro-sama: Ah, yes sakura-son what happened that day?!(Oro-sama's cheeks turn red voice breaks up) Sakura-son: I don't remember... All I remeber was something stinging my neck and waking up in the next morning up in a tree. Oro-sama & Sasuke-kun: (faces bright red voices uneven) Yeah, you never made it here "That Day". Sakura-son: Huh!? (face turns red) *Sakura-son has a flash back* *setting, Sakura-chan is walking through to woods to Oro-sama's cabin!* russel in the trees. Sakura-chan: (goes into defense mode) Who's there! (russel gets closer, dart hits her neck) Wha...a dart! (thinking) *What's this feeling* (saying) Al of a sudden, I feel...so horny. (passes out) Naruto-chan1: Ah, we finaly got you sakura-chan! (giggles) Ah, she is so cue lying there all helpless. Naruto-chan2: Let's get her ready for the "Party" She's wearing to much clothes. Naruto-chan3: I'll go set off the signal for all the Naruto-sons. (kisses sakura-chan) You 2 get her in "The mood". *naruto-chan 1&2 tie sakura-chan up and hang her from a tree branch. Naruto-chan 3 lights a firework to summon all the remaining naruto-sons!* Naruto-chan 1: Good thing we ran into Hinata. I really like these leather outfits and this whip is Oh-So-Kinky, Caoo.(henge SFX) *they give Sakura-chan a few kinky wips* Sakura-chan: *whispering* Oh Sarutobi-sama, more!? Naruto-chan: ...I knew that old man was a pervert. Naruto_chan: (gives smelling salts to sakura-chan to wake her up) ....Sakura-chan, wake up! We can't have you thinking soemone else made you this Excited! (SFX: drip drip drip). Sakura-chan: Huh, what's going on? What are you doing? ....Naruto-chan... Naruto-chan: We got you under our control now sakura-chan. The Naruto-sons will be here soon! Sakura-chan: Ha, idoit naruto-chan. You should have tied my hands seperately! (handseals) SEX CHANGE NIN JUTSU! *poof* (additional handseals) Love SLAVE ninjutsu! (Sakura-son breaths a huge cloud of pink love smoke from his mouth at the naruto-chans!) Naruto-chans: Oh MY! What do you Desire Sakura-son. (the naruto-chans are dominated by the slave jutsu of sakura-son untill...) Naruto: Sakura-son! Stop abusing my clones! Sakura-son: Pfft you clones are nothing! Sasuke-kun lasts much longer then them! Naruto: That's it Sakura-son! I'm going to make love to you no mater what! ..but your going to be sakura-chan when I do it! Sakura-son: And how are you going to make be change back?! Naruto: (smile) ....climax... Sakura-son: (frightened) *tap tap tap tap* *sakura-son is now surrounded by a thousand Kyubi naruto clones with "Wood" In a flurry of animation and quick flashes naruto clones fly by sakura-son and after a few rubs and well-placed-feels sakura-son transforms into sakura-chan!* Sakura-chan: What kind of power is this! Naruto: Now I have you sakura! *poof* (the clones dissapear save for 3 one naruto chan and 2 naruto-sons.) Naruto-chan: Let the fun begin! (pops a soldier pill in sakura-chan....not in the mouth) We can't have you gettig tired out before the "fun" really starts! *flashback ends* Oro-sama: Sakura-chan! what's wrong you blanked out for a minute there? Did you remeber something? Sakura-son: Yes, I remember what happened to me on "That Day". *flurry of movement from under the cover reveals* Naruto and naruto clones 1&2: We remember what happened to you "That Day" TOO! |
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2004-07-13, 20:26
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Link #2698 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: May 2004
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Hehehe, the flashback where kinda hard to figure out. Basically It's about Oro, Sauke and Sakura-son are in bed about a week or so after the first one takes place. As each character starts saying there little peice they get all red faced and their speak becomes irradct (like lots of pauses in it) Then Oro has his flashback about something betwen him and itachi. Which was different then what Sauke was talking about. (I was trying to make fun of the way the current manga is going with the fact that they keep reffering to the day itachi killed the clan as "That Day") Then sakura has her flashback (which is a repressed memory) after her face turns red and so forth. Afterwards at the end we find out that there were 3 naruto's under the covers the whole time. (Oral pleasure anyone) Which was why each character was getting red faces and studered speach. (Naruto was just that good & hard working. He really does put 110% effort into EVERYTHING he does, hehehe) Sorry that it was confusing, but I never claimed to be an expert story teller. (not that anyone was saying I was either).
Hinata: Naruto-kun....Guess what!? Naruto: What... Hinata: I.....I'm....I"M WEARING CROUCHLESS PANTIES! Naruto: WHAT!!!? Hinata: I'm wearing them for you Na..ru..to..-kun (whispering in his ear) Naruto: Yippe! Time to try out my new jutsu! (hand seals) Love Shack ninjutsu! (calling upon the tremendous power of the kyubi within him Naruto summons the "Love shack" a tremendous bedroom with a giant heart shaped bed, a hottub, master bath and mirrors in all the right places.) Kagebunshin ninjutsu! (makes 5 clones) Hinata: No fair naruto-kun I'm out numbered...Kagebunshin ninjutsu! (makes 11 clones) Hehehe, I've been practicing while you were away! (activates byakugan) Now to find your weak spot! (with 2 hinatas scanning each naruto they quickly find the weakest spot) Ah yes. His left ear and the forehead protector of his Ninja at salute! (Oh yeah!) After quikly dragging each naruto clone to a part of the room, 2 hinata clones begin to work on these "weak" spots for several hours. Last edited by Narutto Kyuubi; 2004-07-13 at 20:47. |
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2004-07-13, 21:28
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Link #2699 | |
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Scourge of the Seven Seas
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Where you least expect it.
Age: 45
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Quote:
 Hinata-chan sure has grown up..."Boy, WANCWNS became a hardcore porn thread so gradually, I didn't even notice..." paraphrased, of course... |
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2004-07-14, 00:47
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Link #2700 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: May 2004
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Tsunade: Yes sakura?!
Sakura: Can I borrow your pig Tsunade! Please! Tsunade: *glare* Why... Sakura: *puppy eyes* I was going to visit sasuke and lee and naruto in the hospital and I thought the pig would cheer them all up! Tsunade: (drum and Woo Dannn chiese music plays in the background) ........Ok, I guess that would be nice. Sakura-chan: Thankyou Tsunade-sama! *Sakura takes the pig and heads of into the distance* Naruto: Hello Sakura. Sasuke: So did you get get it? Sakura: Yep. Sasuke: Good. Naruto: Hey Hey, why did we need this pig again! Sakura: Baka. We need this to start our new adventure! Naruto: Which is?! Sasuke: super Baka. We're going to use the pig to find..... Magic Mushrooms! Then we will use our ninja talents to smuggle these valuable goodies all over the 5 elemental countries! Naruto: Hmm, this pig doesn't look like it can do anything by oik and eat ramen. Sakura: That's you baka! Lets take the pig to the field and see what he finds. *SFX: Poof* (the pig turns into....) Kakashi: I knew you were up to no good! Trying to steal our mushrooms! *poof* Gai: Pfft, stupid Genins. Thinking they can get a cut of our action. *poof* Asuma: Looks like you were right Kakashi. *poof* Tsunade: Really, Why would I beleive a pig would cheer up Sasuke and Lee. Naruto I would have beleived because he gets happy seeing ants on his dinner plate! *poof* Jiraiya: Well what do you expect. You did drop him on his head alot as baby! Tsunade: Pfft. I never wanted a kid. It wasn't my fualt the 4th was so, so.... enthusiastic the latex exploded. Kakashi: Enough, we have to decide how to dispose of them! Naruto&Sasuke&Sakura: Hahaha, Dispose of them. Don't you mean, ME! Kakashi&friends: Konohamaru! It's a trap! Naruto: Taju Kagebunshin ninjutsu! (kyubi mode) Sasuke: (seal lvl 2) Mange Sharingan (gai) For 72 hours you will see nothing but Lee getting beat by begining gennins with no special abilities! Gai: NOOOOOOO! Kakashi: Looks like I need to handle this! Chidori! Sasuke: (hand seals) Fairy genjutsu! Kakashi: Oh, it's so beautifull. Look at all the hot young studs! (skips of into the distance) Tsunade: Fools, there only Gennins Kill them all! Sakura: Quite you slut! Big Forehead ninjutsu! (using the awsome size of her forehead sakura reflects enough sunlight to scortch all the hair of Tsunades head) Tsuande: Ah, m lovely hair! Waaaa, I'm bald again! I had to sell my randfathers necklace to get the money to have all those hair plugs put in! (runns away) Jiraiya: You'll pay for that Sakura! Naruto: I don't think so! Henge! Sexy nin jutsu! Over here lover boy! Just a little closer! Jiraiya: AAHHHH! Asuma: Baka, he walked right into that trap! I guess I'll have to take care of everything myself! Huh! I can't move! Shikamaru: Now who's the Baka! You didn't even notice me capture your shadow! Now lets see what happens when I do this! Asuma: Dam you shikamaru! That was my last pack of smokes! Now I have to goto th next town to get another pack before my next craving! Chouji: Hurray for Fatty! uh..huh? where did everyone go. Sasuke: Pfft, you Fat ass was late again! Chouji: *twitch* What did he say?! Sasuke: Gah... Nothing I didn't say anything! Chouji: I'm not FAT I'm big boned! (pops the red pill) Take this! Sasuke: Noooooo! *slap* Sasuke: HUH!?! Chouji: relax Sasuke it's just a breathmint and besides it's only words. Naruto: Hey Hey, Sasuke. Why are your pants all wet? Sakura: (holding nose) ....What's that smell? |
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