2008-10-16, 17:33 | Link #10021 | |
Inactive Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
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2008-10-16, 18:46 | Link #10024 | |
Σ(。д°(o--(ಠ益ಠ )
Author
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Hotsprings Resort
Age: 38
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I have a severe aversion to usage of Glocks in a combat setting. In my local area, the only ones that use Glocks are FBI, and that's because they prefer standardization. Instead, I'd suggest a Springfield XD.
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2008-10-16, 21:24 | Link #10027 | |
Even if it just for a bit
Author
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Cold Storage
Age: 32
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First, announce when you are chagin scene. Makes the whole thing easier to undertand. For example i usually use --- to mark them. Second, try to make people talk in different paragraphs, again for understandong better. like this "blah blah" A said "bleh bleh" B said Anyway s your style of writting so, if you dont want to follow them, then i understand... Alas, welcome to the FFT have fun, post lots and forget your sanity at the door. Sorry for the late welcome.
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2008-10-16, 21:51 | Link #10028 | |
I am of the Blood Ravens
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2008-10-16, 22:43 | Link #10029 | ||
Undercover Mole
Graphic Designer
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: ~Floating on the edge
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2008-10-17, 00:54 | Link #10030 | |
Black Dragon
Graphic Designer
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: In the Netherrealm, thinking who to betray next...
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Gonna backlog to read chapter 1 And Welcome! "Throws multicolored confeti over TerranReaper's head"
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2008-10-17, 04:53 | Link #10036 | |
"Begin, the operation!"
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*Stares at old fanfic where he had a... -ahem-... thing that worked the same way.* Also, your fanfic has a similar name to my old one *resumes hiatus*
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2008-10-17, 06:54 | Link #10037 | |
Residential Nutcase
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Outer Cadia
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Let's start from the top. Subaru being rude to Nanoha. I know people do have their bad days but Subaru idolizes Nanoha. A lot. For her to be so rude to Nanoha is very out of character for her, even if Nanoha pushed her to the breaking point. So what caused her to be this way? Also, Nanoha, Harsh? The only point we ever seen Nanoha harsh is when Teana tried something dangerous and turned hysterical. Oh BTW, at what point in time is this fic starting at? During or after strikers? Next, TSAB ship being shot down by Terrans.... Its rather inconceivable. Why would anyone shoot and destroy a TSAB ship since us humans are searching for intelligent life? Its pretty silly... Not to mention, what kind of idiot attacks an unknown enemy without even determining if its a foe? Also you're assuming that terran technology can even detect the TSAB ships since there doesn't seemed to be any indications that they detected the Asura during the events in A's. Terrans mastering space superiority? I didn't THINK it can be mastered but gained. Also judging from the information i got from the OC thread, the amount of time for such a large leap in technological prowess is rather short. We're talking about maybe a hundred years of advancements at the very minimum in just what? 15 -20 years? You need to explain this further. Something must have triggered such a large scale of advancement. FYI, building a portal to teleport stuff does not equal to such rapid advancements mainly due to power issues. Fate talking to Nanoha about race and in a accusing tone? Last time I check, Mid childans and Terrans are part of the human race. Subaru mentioned that her ancestors are from Earth. Also Fate is not Mid Childan... or not exactly born one since she IS a clone after all but we're digressing here. The only non humans we see so far are familiars, the Wolkenritter, unison devices and summons, so why are you even talking about race here? As for Chrono scouting the Sol system, how can he not know there are inhabitants in that system? I mean during season 1, he teleported to stop Nanoha and Fate from fighting, he was there also during A's not to mention that he married Amy and she and his kids are LIVING on Earth aka Non Adminstrated World 97. His teachers, the Leize twins are familiars of Admiral Gil Graham, a mage from Earth, England. Next part I'm going to talk about is that conversation between Nanoha and Subaru at the water's edge. That conversation is confusing to me but if I'm reading this right, Subaru is being willy nilly? Uhuh... You really got to explain this to me for don't really understand this at all. Oh and the lesson Nanoha learned and taught her trainees and Teana isn't about hardwork. The lesson she taught was NOT to overwork. It was because Nanoha worked too hard that caused her to get so heavily injured. Because Teana is going to end up like how she was in the past, Nanoha doesn't want that to happen so she shot Teana down and Shario revealed the reason why Nanoha did that, which was to teach the forwards to work at a steady pace and not go over the top and trying too hard. That threat of war by the Terrans was an extremely stupid move. In my opinion, its practically stupid enough to be considered suicidal. My reasoning being that how are the Terrans going to stop TSAB ships from warping into range and firing the Arc-en-Ciel which at minimum has at least 100km range and a minimum damage radius of 100km as well. They don't even have to shoot at a population area. Shooting the Arc-en-Ciel at an ocean or North pole for example is going to cause tremendous amounts of damage. I can think of at least 2 others ways. One is using Lost Logia but that is almost overkill. Another is using Trans dimensional attack magics. Precia Testarossa's attack magic in season 1 is an example. Next. Why do terrans even have to send someone to Mid at all? You already proven that it is possible to send video and audio signals to Mid so why do you even need someone physically there at this stage? They could all use Video conferencing. Finally, this is war you're talking about. You got a possible war that might break out and you have Fate and Chrono considering taking matters into their own hands? They don't have that authority to do that. Are you planning for them to go rogue? I hope you can answer these problems that I've noticed. Edit: I'll make my comments on Chapter 2 later. |
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2008-10-17, 07:17 | Link #10038 |
~ I Do ~
Author
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: In the XV-8A Spartan "00"
Age: 38
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I do hope TR isn't regretting appearing on Asuki; we're a unique cell of veteran critiques waging a guerrilla war against larger foes of good writing like bad fanism and 4chan, so pardon us when we seem rather Spartan with our analysis.
Really, we only mean well.
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2008-10-17, 07:41 | Link #10039 | |
Vividly Vivio
Author
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GingaSubaru: well this is the fanfic thread, posting it other places wouldn't make much sense.
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authorshipping, befriending, fanfiction, interactive fanfiction, nanoha |
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