Dating

[Narona]

Originally Posted by Ledgem

What reaction - my relief at her basically stating the question for me?

Nah, if you asked to her if your shyness when you tried to ask her out didn't make you look like an idiot (for example XD)

Because while some girls would laugh, there are girls who would see that

as I was fumbling an attempt at asking her out

as very, very cute

Originally Posted by Ascaloth

None of these at all, actually. After all, I'm from Singapore; still a relatively conservative Asian society, so although I think of myself as a relative liberal, the residue of being brought up in such a society still clings to me sometimes, and I know that. So what I meant was; I'll do a double-take, because the conservative residue of my upbringing would cause me to think initially "hmmm, she's the one who's asking me out, that's unusual". But it'll stop being a factor immediately after that, and I'll consider dating her based on the other aspects of her personality.

I see.

Originally Posted by Dextro

PS: and btw, to those who don't believe there are man who can fool girls I say to you that you are very mistaken. I have one very good friend of mine that has precisely that flaw and he admits it with a hint of sorrow: he has become very efficient at fooling girls and he is rather incapable of sustaining a long-term relationship. But, as he explains, the "secret" is rather simple in concept and hard to master, one must listen to the girl and her friends to know what she wants, what she needs and then turn yourself into that.

Is she missing a caring guy? You become one and make her believe you are one. A funny guy? I can be funny if I want to... you get the idea. It's possible, it's not honest (not even close) and it's kind of shady but there are people who can pull it off (and yes, I've seen my mate receiving a lot of backfire from it so it does not go unpunished )

Would guys like this would go as far as waiting a lot (because the girl wants to wait. Even for kissing-), going to a hospital with her, even before kissing, to do a full check-up because the girl doesn't want any STD or infections or virus like herpes labialis (and will not trust any "don't worry i did a check-up before".), meeting with her fearsome parents, and marrying her (because she doesn't want to have sex before being married) ?

I also wonder what kind of girls he tried to pick up, because men are not the only ones who can success in gathering informations. And over here, I know there are men who see no problems in lying and trying hard to hide their dirty secrets

And finally, I guess he's lucky to not have successed in fooling a girl like me, because to put it bluntly without any joke, he would not have been able to have sex again, ever.

Originally Posted by Jinto

Well, there is also the type that would try to pick up men but is not against being picked up herself. Okay, then again such situations were with drunk girls and alcohol can drastically change the normal behaviour of a person.

There's no rule. You can find girls who are not against being pickep-up but will not hesitate to try to pick up a man if they fall in love. Of course.

About the drunk girls, that's why I don't go to clubs or to parties. I won't drink, but cases when people put drugs in your water and orange juice happens (i won't say it happens a lot, I can't do statistics, but as often as being widely know that it can happen in parties and clubs)

Anyway, I've met two of the girls you were talking about. Since then I know how a girl must feel if the guy wants her but she doesn't want him. Trying to be nice, you don't want to hurt. Trying to deliver the message as subtile as possible. The good thing is these girls understood subtile messages.

Well, I encoutered one problem when i tried to be nice. If the person doesn't understand well the subtle message, he starts thinking that you just played with his feelings.

Since then, I am more blunt.

[Xion Valkyrie]

Originally Posted by Narona

Well, I encoutered one problem when i tried to be nice. If the person doesn't understand well the subtle message, he starts thinking that you just played with his feelings.

Since then, I am more blunt.

Yes, blunt is good. We appreciate bluntness more, even if it hurts more at first. Just don't go out of the way to embarrass us in front of everybody though

[Narona]

Originally Posted by Xion Valkyrie

Yes, blunt is good. We appreciate bluntness more, even if it hurts more at first. Just don't go out of the way to embarrass us in front of everybody though

Actually, it depends on the person he is. I am not a nice person in all situations, for example, when people lie to me i can get angry(I don't have the best character/temper ever).

If he is or seems to be a good person, of course I will not try to embarass him. What i mean is that I avoid to create any possible misunderstanding. No "maybe" and such. And without talking a lot. Short (not too short as a single word) and precise answer is the best imo.

[Ascaloth]

Originally Posted by King Lycan

Cause that kill ANY chance i have with Girl B who i really like

But yea imma ask her today anyway

Girl B has already rejected you once. I hardly think you have much chance with her to begin with anyway, whether you date her friend or not.

[Ledgem]

Originally Posted by Dextro

I don't mean to be rude but like Ledgem I think you misunderstood the sentence you quoted. The "aura" we were talking about back then is something you actually seem to understand from what you wrote: it's that little bit of self-confidence that one needs to have in order to achieve an actual love relationship. There's a saying in my country that says something like "One must first love himself in order to be loved by others" and I think it accurately describes what I'm trying to explain.

Interesting, I know of a quote like that as well. It's something like "one must be comfortable with themselves before they can successfully form a relationship with someone else." It's a very similar idea, and I think that there's a lot of truth to it.

Originally Posted by Narona

Nah, if you asked to her if your shyness when you tried to ask her out didn't make you look like an idiot (for example XD)

Because while some girls would laugh, there are girls who would see that



as very, very cute

Well, I wasn't stammering and blushing or anything. I basically said "there's something I wanted to ask you," took a big breath, and then said "first, are you currently single?" (more or less with that precision, and being 99% certain that she was actually single). As I said, she smiled a really big smile, asked if I was asking her out, and that was it. I don't remember exactly how she viewed me at that time - I think she was just relieved that I was asking her out. I was her first boyfriend, you see. Actually, I guess I'll be her only boyfriend, given that we're getting married

[Miyuki-ism]

Originally Posted by Ledgem

Interesting, I know of a quote like that as well. It's something like "one must be comfortable with themselves before they can successfully form a relationship with someone else." It's a very similar idea, and I think that there's a lot of truth to it.


Well, I wasn't stammering and blushing or anything. I basically said "there's something I wanted to ask you," took a big breath, and then said "first, are you currently single?" (more or less with that precision, and being 99% certain that she was actually single). As I said, she smiled a really big smile, asked if I was asking her out, and that was it. I don't remember exactly how she viewed me at that time - I think she was just relieved that I was asking her out. I was her first boyfriend, you see. Actually, I guess I'll be her only boyfriend, given that we're getting married

Sounds like something I'd read on a questionnaire. XD I think everyone at my school is too busy actually working to deal with relationships right now. Unless that relationship is currently working out for them. But I think it was said earlier, couples are getting more rare in high schools.

[Splitpersonality]

Originally Posted by Ledgem

"there's something I wanted to ask you," took a big breath, and then said "first, are you currently single?"

My girlfriend said something kind of similar to that upon approaching me, she sort of cornered me in an empty hallway, stared at the floor, and stammered something to the effect of, "Hey we're both good friends, and you're not dating and I'm not dating and it's high school and stuff, do you want to like, I don't know, go out?"

It was really cute haha

[Ledgem]

Originally Posted by Miyuki-ism

Sounds like something I'd read on a questionnaire. XD

It wasn't an approach I'd really thought to use. However, the night before I'd resolved to ask her out (I saw it as my last chance to ask her), I had a nightmare wherein she'd introduced me to her boyfriend. It was a terrible nightmare, given the timing, and I jolted awake very confused and depressed. So perhaps partly as a result, I was very cautious...

(On the other hand, she told me that she'd had a dream where we both fell asleep on a really comfortable bed together, and it was a dream that left her waking up very happy. I much preferred her dream. It is interesting to note that we were dreaming of each other on the same night.)

Originally Posted by Splitpersonality

My girlfriend said something kind of similar to that upon approaching me, she sort of cornered me in an empty hallway, stared at the floor, and stammered something to the effect of, "Hey we're both good friends, and you're not dating and I'm not dating and it's high school and stuff, do you want to like, I don't know, go out?"

It was really cute haha

Hey, nice - you were asked out by a girl! We were just talking about that... so, it does happen. That's special. She's a rarity, make sure you don't take her for granted!

[Splitpersonality]

Haha yeah, she was so adorable about it, it's been about a year and... 8 months now, and I"m really happy

[Narona]

Originally Posted by Ledgem

Well, I wasn't stammering and blushing or anything. I basically said "there's something I wanted to ask you," took a big breath, and then said "first, are you currently single?" (more or less with that precision, and being 99% certain that she was actually single). As I said, she smiled a really big smile, asked if I was asking her out, and that was it. I don't remember exactly how she viewed me at that time - I think she was just relieved that I was asking her out. I was her first boyfriend, you see. Actually, I guess I'll be her only boyfriend, given that we're getting married

You're the kind of person who calculates the risks, arent you?

Anyways, cute

Originally Posted by Ledgem

Hey, nice - you were asked out by a girl! We were just talking about that... so, it does happen. That's special. She's a rarity, make sure you don't take her for granted!

I wonder if it's more uncommon in the US than here XD

[Cipher]

Originally Posted by Ledgem

Hey, nice - you were asked out by a girl! We were just talking about that... so, it does happen. That's special. She's a rarity, make sure you don't take her for granted!

You sure its that rare of an event? I don't know. Even, I, a complete loser, had my experienced shares of being asked out by girls--some beauties on top of that. Maybe its my money....

On a more serious note, with the opinion of different regions having different women, I object.

[Kakashi]

Originally Posted by Cipher

You sure its that rare of an event? I don't know. Even, I, a complete loser, had my experienced shares of being asked out by girls--some beauties on top of that. Maybe its my money....

It's supposed to be quite rare. When girls come to me with relationship worries (which is never, it only ever happens if I'm the only person around), every time I suggest a course of action which begins with "why don't you ask for the guys number?" or "why not ask him out?" it almost always gets cut-off with a "NO. lol NO."

Girls don't usually put themselves in positions like that. Which is part of the reason why a girl getting rejected before the relationship has begun is virtually unheard of.

That said, most girls will help a guy out with hints and clues, sometimes to the point where the question is begging to be asked and the answer is certain to be yes.

[Cipher]

Originally Posted by Kakashi

It's supposed to be quite rare. When girls come to me with relationship worries (which is never, it only ever happens if I'm the only person around), every time I suggest a course of action which begins with "why don't you ask for the guys number?" or "why not ask him out?" it almost always gets cut-off with a "NO. lol NO."

Girls don't usually put themselves in positions like that. Which is part of the reason why a girl getting rejected before the relationship has begun is virtually unheard of.

That said, most girls will help a guy out with hints and clues, sometimes to the point where the question is begging to be asked and the answer is certain to be yes.

I don't know...I think its just the united states and other western regions....Our part of the world is a bit female dominated.

[Miko Miko]

My friend thinks one of my teachers who i have a thing for has a thing for me...

E.g Yesterday:

Him: You know if your sat alone for lunch i'd be happy to sit with you everyday.
Me: Really?
Him: Yes, come to my office at 1:05 and we'll walk down together.
Me: Thanks, it's a date then, *i laughed jokingly*
Him: *winks and licks his lips at me*


And the other day:

Me: Morning sir!
Him: Morning, how're you?
Me: Fine thanks you?
Him: I'm fine, a little pissed off but i'm fine.
Me: Why what's up?
Him: All this paper work and marking has been driving me crazy and to be honest you're the only thing I come to school for.
Me: ... *blush*
Him: *puts arm around me* See ya later.
Me: Bye..



I was like o_O he is so hott and I am just fail!!

Is he trying to wind me up?

[stubby42]

You have to stop whatever your doing right now because not only will it get you and him into a whole heap of trouble you will regret it.

Ignoring the fact that your underage and he's at the very least 8 years older than you (assuming he's 23 which would be pretty young for a teacher), your under his care and doing anything will be regarded as abusing his position.

It will destroy his career and you'll probably get hurt to.

Your 15 years old, thats a crazy time your hormones are going wild, its not un common for people of your age to have crushes on teachers but its usually just a passing thing.

He shouldnt be saying things like that at all or doing things like that, stay away from him.

[H23]

Originally Posted by stubby42

You have to stop whatever your doing right now because not only will it get you and him into a whole heap of trouble you will regret it.

Ignoring the fact that your underage and he's at the very least 8 years older than you (assuming he's 23 which would be pretty young for a teacher), your under his care and doing anything will be regarded as abusing his position.

It will destroy his career and you'll probably get hurt to.

Your 15 years old, thats a crazy time your hormones are going wild, its not un common for people of your age to have crushes on teachers but its usually just a passing thing.

He shouldnt be saying things like that at all or doing things like that, stay away from him.

^ This. Get the fuck out of it while you still can and you're not balls deep in yet - you'll regret it later if you don't. Lol

[whitepearl]

Heed stubby42's and H23's advice. The teacher shouldn't say anything like that and you shouldn't do things with him.

People WILL find out and his career will be ruined.

Here in the US, there have been cases of teachers engaging in inappropriate behavior with a student or two and it's always a bad end for the teacher. The teacher is supposed to teach and set an example for children, not seduce them.

[Wirbelwind8]

I just had a recent breakup. We were pretty good friends before we started going out.

Before we started going out, she needed a place to move into, so I offered since my friend and I were in need of a new roomate. She was more than happy to move in with us. She had a boyfriend at the time so I really didn't think much of it, I did find her attractive and liked her personality, but that was all. Then two months later, she had broke up with him and got close to me. I was starting to fall in love with her every moment we were together. Had many of my firsts...*cough* and eventually started officially going out.

3 days later she said she can't do it.

I felt used. She had recently broken up with her boyfriend and moved onto me, but didn't want to go out or anything. Like she needed someone there, anyone to be close with, didnt matter who. I just happen to be there since I was living with her.

It's been two weeks now and I'm having the worst experience ever. Things have not been the same since the break up, its just awkward and I just hate how quickly everything changed. Since we are living together it's been hard to get over her. So as of now Im on a trip of "self preservation" or whatever. Been driving around, staying in hotels, friends houses n such. Havent been home for awhile. It's ok, I'm not sure it'll fix the problem, but I felt like I needed to do something out of the ordinary, something I would never do. I just "hate" her right now, when I know I shouldn't. I can't help it. Hopefully it'll all work out for the both of us. She's a great person and I don't want to lose her as a friend, but I can't stand being around her.

Just something to throw out there to you guys since Im bored in this hotel room.

[whitepearl]

It sucks that she used you to be her "rebound." It's always a risk to deal with girls who had just gone through a break-up. Their emotions are all in disarray.

[Wirbelwind8]

Originally Posted by whitepearl

It sucks that she used you to be her "rebound." It's always a risk to deal with girls who had just gone through a break-up. Their emotions are all in disarray.

The most frustrating part was that I was trying to give her time before anything were to happen between us. I know timing is everything and it was definitely NOT the right time.

She made the first moves, I wanted it, but I also knew it was a bad idea. That's life for ya.