2011-06-19, 21:05 | Link #9061 | |
Test Drive
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... Or, just let her smoke herself to death. Either or.
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2011-06-19, 21:27 | Link #9062 | |
Honyaku no Hime
Fansubber
Join Date: May 2008
Location: In the eastern capital of the islands of the rising suns...
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(Or I learnt to rein in my desire to impulse post like I used to do and leave things be) To bring it back to dating, yeah, one of my top three 'no gos' with a guy is smoking. I don't care if there are other harmful gasses in the air (all the more reason not to add then, right?), I see it as nothing more than pure poison in a stick that also affects my own health and ease to breathe. A guy smokes, he's out, I don't give him a chance, or I cross him off my list of 'potentials' if there's an initial attraction. And even if one tried to excuse themselves or appeal to me, more times than not, the disappointment in my eyes is enough to quell any further arguement. Somedays, that works wonders than having a go and pissing off smokers (Can be fun sometimes tho, lol)
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2011-06-19, 22:06 | Link #9064 | |
PolyPerson!
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Northern VA
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Then she can stink herself up and get cancer to her heart's content and you'll be sparing yourself a smidge of it. I ended up finally giving the hubby the choice of switching to an ecig (and weaning off nicotine) or gtfo when I caught him sneaking cigs at work after being asked by his dying father to quit.... Well, unbeknown to him, I swapped his cartridges with no nicotine ones so he's been nicotine free for over a month now.. he still uses it for the oral habit, but still... This is deviating off the dating subject, but sometimes you have to find compromises when dating, and that's one
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2011-06-19, 22:21 | Link #9065 | |
blinded by blood
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People don't like being preached at. @Mystique: Anyone who is so shallow as to hate someone for smoking doesn't deserve my time.
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2011-06-19, 22:31 | Link #9066 |
Junior Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: New York
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Not wanting to date someone because they smoke can hardly be called hating them, that's an absurd exaggeration.
It doesn't make someone shallow either. Smokers send the message that they don't care enough about themselves, why would someone else want to be with them? People who respect themselves and their bodies generally like to be with people who do the same. I dated a smoker, it makes kissing disgusting. She has every right to disregard them romantically. |
2011-06-19, 22:42 | Link #9067 | ||
Banned
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I dated a vegetarian and the smell of her excrement was horrendous, should I stop considering dating vegetarians or just not use the toilet till the ventilation does the trick |
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2011-06-19, 22:54 | Link #9068 | |||
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Age: 38
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2011-06-19, 22:56 | Link #9069 |
blinded by blood
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All right, all right, I'm sorry I even brought this shit up. My brain hurts now.
Let's get this topic back on topic. There has always been something that really confused me about dating. The whole "type" thing. When someone says, "oh, she's not my type," what the hell does that actually mean? I mean, I date people I find interesting or attractive. I don't necessarily have anything like a specific "type" of girls who I will date above others. So what is this "type" thing? Is it some combination of physical appearance? Is it a personality thing? Because it sounds like a physical thing--like, a guy I know won't date girls who wear their hair short (which I think is retarded since short hair can be just as cute, if not more so, than long hair).
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2011-06-19, 23:03 | Link #9071 | |
Love Yourself
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Northeast USA
Age: 38
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I don't want to turn this into a smoking debate thread (we had one of those on the forum before). I will say that I, and perhaps many others, aren't necessarily upset at the smokers themselves. I'm upset with the tobacco companies. If cigarettes were harmful but not addictive, I'd say that it's a smoker's choice and, sad though it may be, I have no business telling them what to do with their body (but there should be health insurance penalties for that choice - I don't want to pay for their poor decisions when the feathers hit the fan). The fact that it's addictive is what riles me up. Take a look at syn - she tried to quit, but couldn't. She's stuck on an expensive habit that ups her risks of cancer and lowers her quality of life, and she's going to have to struggle psychologically and physically if she wants to get out of it. All smokers do. In America, the average smoker who tries to quit fails 6-8 times before they're able to successfully kick the habit. Can you imagine how much willpower it must take to make the effort after failing that much, let alone the willpower required in each day to avoid succumbing? Put it this way: Coca Cola originally laced their drink with trace amounts of cocaine. The idea was to get customers hooked on the drink without knowing why - they'd be craving Coca Cola (coke) and would keep buying and drinking. Excellent business strategy, horrible disregard for human life. The government didn't tolerate that sort of practice, that taking advantage of people, and the formula was forcibly changed. I really don't understand why cigarettes are still legal as they are. If the tobacco companies change their formula to remove the addictive factor, let the people do what they will. Otherwise, they are taking advantage of consumers. Syn, best of luck in quitting.
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2011-06-19, 23:09 | Link #9072 | ||||
Honyaku no Hime
Fansubber
Join Date: May 2008
Location: In the eastern capital of the islands of the rising suns...
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Sorry, I don't find people who make the conscious decision to actively and so blatantly damage their bodies and cause harm to anyone attractive, appealing or even the remotest bit positive. Someone being a vegetarian doesn't affect me. Their eating of veggies doesn't make me choke, doesn't restrict my own lungs. Doesn't make me queasy from their after smell of smoke which is a super turn off in itself. I won't worry or be concerned for the welfare of their lungs and as for a smoker them self, to not be around me, wanting to smoke where and when as they please, means they get no hassle. So yeah, Malkuth, care to try once more and tell me what's wrong with said above scenario? By sheer chance, are you telling me to try to please others without considering my own wellbeing just to what... try to begin a relationship with someone beyond friendship? For me to find someone who compliments me as well as me complimenting them to ensure a decent relationship, cigarettes have no place in that. And there are men who feel the same, truly, I fail to see the problem here Malkuth, but then again, that may be me just being a borderline fascist, huh. Sorry but find a better comparison if you want to counter my post, or I will elongate my claws a little more. Quote:
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I agree with you 100% there. I'll tell you why I went sharp with my 'really can't stand ciggies' post. One it's truly how I feel, however how I write and interpret that on this website here Animesuki is where I think to myself as I sit here behind the keyboard and filter/think to myself a little before typing any random thought straight from my head/heart which only serves to incite others. "I wanna get my point across while feeling very strongly about it, but not to start out a straight flame war, or make others feel inadequate to the point it doesn't invite civil yet heated debate." It does sting, it does irate, doesn't it Syn? But I'm sorry, as much as you have very legit and substantial posts and opinions, this... weird drama queen mode of yours is off. Very off. I said I've not been around in late 09/10 and we all evolve and change over time but I do remember you when you first joined Asuki and how you used to debate/post. It was strong and solid but with a lot less ranting/whining or bitching just for the sake of being heard. You've done it with the 'uuuggggh I hate hair' until a few posts later you then mentioned 'but that's just me'. I'm sensing it with the BO stuff, though it's kinda died down, lol. You've done it with the "I hate my state, stupid laws, curse them, cigs and alcohol are a must, yada yada yada," which got a response from Don in a tone very close to how I may have replied from that if I wanted to be as dramatic as you. For me, the no smoking laws indoors are a godsend (UK wise), for you hell, but hey no one's stopping you from smoking outside for the 3-5 mins you need and then come back. Also if you hate your state that much, please... just move out? (And if you can't cause you're back in college, then make do in life and be humble) Quote:
I didn't say I hate people who smoke, I said I will never date or be with a guy who does as it just sets me off just as strongly as you hate to be harassed about it. It's not a conscious decision to go 'I'm gonna hate that guy', it's just the thing he holds in his hands and puts into his body. Hasn't stopped me from conversing, being acquainted with smokers in my life offline, they just all know my stance on it and we make do. If I had to say the one word to ya Syn it'd be 'chill'. Just... tone down your posts a wee bit, less of the 'I hate' (that word is strong enough in itself) and 'hear me roar!!'. Although my intuition is telling me, if you're still in stubborn ass mode, than you're probably thinking behind your monitor 'To hell with Mystique, I don't have to take that crap from her' *laughs* It's all good with me For the afterword, no, I do not hate Syn or Malkuth, no I'm not on a ranting warpath against smokers but I do have zero tolerance with the stuff. I am happy to drop the dating thread and remain on the lurking side if mods or admin are feeling nervous at present and keep the peace, that'd meaning having to continue on profile walls if needed to reply rather than on here, I guess. After all of this, do I retract or feel 'bad' about my previous post? Hell no. I still won't date a guy who smokes. Period. And I have been put in a position where I thought 'maybe I can get around this'. If he's happy for me to vomit down his throat during a kiss, then sure, why not? *halo* I'm sure that's good news for smokers, it means one less whining bitch out of their lives, right? Being in a relationship where comprimise is needed is one thing. But seeking out a partner to compliment you for the rest of your life (ideally) but being slandered for having some 'no' preferences based on the habits (not their natural born race, nationality, gender or sexuality, but a dammed habit that you decided to begin some point in your life), I think perhaps needs a little rethinking from the slanderers themselves. Almost like saying we should deliberately date people with aspects that turn us off, maybe it's just my narrow minded way of thinking but I can't help but shake off this feeling that there's something wrong with that logic...
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Last edited by Mystique; 2011-06-19 at 23:20. |
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2011-06-20, 00:13 | Link #9074 |
You're Hot, Cupcake
Join Date: Aug 2008
Age: 42
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Settle down children...
Type is more about personality. Physical features can play a part as well, but personality is the one I'll tackle first. Examples: (of females) MILF/Cougar/Mrs.Robinson - The mature type who have gone past the phase of thinking they're the universe's greatest gift to humanity or living it large. They want to enjoy the finer things in life, to do things their own way and not live for what others want them to be, to enjoy sex with younger men (or women if their persuasion goes that way) and to do it with less inhibition. They like to take the lead as much as their partner. They won't be subtle about putting out. When they want something, they will take it and enjoy it to the fullest. Anyone that is their partner will have to enjoy being dominated/teased to a point and not think of women in a traditional manner, but have a pair when things get tough. Negative Nancy - Disapproves of just about anything. Always down and is a real buzzkill. Thinks that life has to be clean and proper and will generally be rather bitter. Anyone that is their partner is generally going to be their little bitch. Soccer Mums - Ignorant, misinformed, think they know what is best. Probably the type of person who loves Glenn Beck, a slack life and antagonising those trying to make a positive difference in the world. Likely partner is a guy who only cares about looks and isn't that well off financially. Whorebiscuit - Even if Paris Hilton and Katy Perry got busy, they wouldn't be able to match this type in looseness. They'll do anything for money and attention. Material wealth and looking good is all that matters to them. They don't care about being demeaned or who they have to step on to get what they want. Likely to be seen sucking off rich, egocentic, power-hungry men. Anne of Green Gables - She feels lonely amongst other people but being alone doesn't bother her. She feels nostalgic, romantic and is absorbed in the natural, organic part of life. She wants a relatively peaceful life with a man she can have a quiet drink with, snuggle up to on the couch and feel at peace with. Likely partner is a jaded man who has had issues with women in the past but is utterly refreshed with someone as gentle as her. Age difference probably won't bother the woman. Diva - Not loose like Whorebiscuit, but she lives on her looks. Probably not as backstabbing or malicious either, but just as shallow. Being pretty and been seen as so is all that matters, regardless of social status. Likely partner is whatever sucker thought she had nice tits. Sunday School - Religious, conservative and clean. Lives by the book, strict as hell and looks down on anyone who isn't like her or doesn't share her faith. Lives for tea parties, the dinner table and making sure her partner is comfortable. Likely partner is a politician or a fellow religious person. (50% chance the politician is sleeping around anyway) Sassy Sister - Thinks she's hot stuff when she isn't as good as she thinks. Is a real flirt and loves spending time with her girlfriends. Loves her handbag, her shoes and gossiping. Loves to say 'like' about every 5 seconds. Likely partner is some guy desperate for a girlfriend and dumb enough to burn his wallet on her. Bookworm - Wants to achieve in life and will only make time for love if they accept her for who she is and won't compromise her goals in life. She may be willing to change to a degree, but she doesn't want a flashy, popular or stunning guy. She just wants a nice guy with no frills who is a welcome relief at the end of the day, thus being her likely partner. Shy Siren - Quiet and proper on the outside, but on the inside, they're horny as hell. They love the thought of sex and getting intimate but feel ashamed of actually doing it. They need to be led on in order to open up and bloom. When they do, they'll be proper in daylight, but behind closed doors, they will live out your fantasies and be very uninhibited. Likely partner is a confident guy who loves to take the lead and live out his fantasies for real. Neurotic Nightmare - Overanalyses everything. If she'd just chill, she'd probably end up with the right person, but her paranoia/overthinking things will lead her to make rather cataclysmic mistakes periodically. People love her short-term but lose their patience with her long term. Likely partner is a sensitve person who will accomodate their flaws. Miss Murder/Succubus - The woman is bad news. She is hellbent on death and destruction. Don't have anything to do with her. But when she finds her prey, she won't let go until she has defiled them and had her fill, ready to suck the life out of. Likely victim is anyone fixated on looks, status or desperate to get laid. Glamazon - She doesn't look as feminine as the average woman. She's taller, more muscular, more assertive and confident. She isn't going to be led on. The man won't pick her - she picks him. She probably has a soft heart on the inside but she'll only ever show it to the one she loves. Anyone who gets in her way will regret the day they were born. Likely partner is someone that is a bit submissive/fragile that they love to protect. Tomboy - Screw the rules, they are awesome. And they know it. Some people will find them too free or wild to handle. But they love life and doing things their own way. If your respect their spirit and how they roll, they will be loyal and give you good times. Likely partner is a chill guy who just wants someone who is real and honest. Plays For The Same Team - I.e. Only likes women. Transplant another type into this to further expand. Miss Universe - Egocentric, thinks the world revolves around them. Their girlfriends and fans feed that ego to no end. Love to spam 'I was like', be news/Facebook worthy, SMS like a virus and. They live for attention. But deep down, they're insecure. They fear the day their world will come crashing down. Likely partner is an adoring fanboy. Baby Blue - She has been deeply hurt by someone she once loved. That relationship and the aftermath has scarred her for life and killed the innocent, naive person she once was. She will find it hard to ever love again. Trust is her most valued factor. She will need someone that will shelter her from the storm, accept her issues and love her for who she is. Perhaps she will never fully heal, but if you're able to win her heart despite her past, she'll latch onto you and give you all she has. Likely partner is an equally scarred guy who just wants to truly love someone. Shooting Star - She's got the look. She's got the attitude. She's got the passion. When she takes the stage, she will give the flock all she has. She shoulders a lot of responsibility and doesn't take it lightly or for granted. But when it comes to love, she's at a conflict. She finds it hard to make a balance between love and ambition. She may end up leaving a trail of broken hearts as she shoots for the stars. Likely partner is whoever can handle not always being first in her life. She Drives You Crazy - At heart, she's a decent person. But life has warped her somehow. She's not after friends or being popular. She wants what she wants and will snub anyone who matches her pet dislikes or turn-offs. It's her and her lover vs the world. She will rant and preach whenever and wherever anyone will listen. She will ignore her core problems and blame other people instead. People want to help her or sympathise with her but she will lash back at them to the point it's near impossible to. She thrives on conflict and antagonism. You wish you could be her friend because she has a lot of good qualities but eventually, her ways grind on you to the point you just wish she would get on with life and please...PLEASE! SHUT! THE! HELL! UP! Likely partner one of the very select few that made it through her harsh screening process and also thrives on a them vs the world mentality.
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Last edited by Last Sinner; 2011-06-20 at 00:36. |
2011-06-20, 00:45 | Link #9075 | |
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Suburban DC
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I think people really stay with those type arguments far too heavily. If you can deal with a person and find them interesting why not go for it? Me, I'm a nerd but if I can get with a non-nerd girl who still likes me for who I am (and vice versa) hell I'm all for it. |
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2011-06-20, 01:01 | Link #9077 | |
Senior Member
Artist
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: The Middle Way
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advice, break-ups, dating, dating after divorce, divorce, happiness, love, pairings, single dad, single mom |
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