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Old 2011-05-24, 03:39   Link #1
synaesthetic
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syn's fiction repository

syn's fiction repository

Welcome to syn's fiction repository, the place where I put good stories that you weirdos on this fine message board might enjoy reading. This is essentially the place I'll be posting non-fandom related fiction of my own devising--in other words, this is all original work. No derivative works are posted here. Larger projects, short stories, vignettes, all of it goes here. Feel free to comment in this thread--it is absolutely a discussion thread as long as the discussion remains related to the stories posted here. Just don't flame anyone, especially not me.

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Binary System

Fourteen hundred years from now, humanity has been scattered among the stars, forced off of the homeworld Earth by a mysterious and hostile alien force known as the Gray. It is Diaspora Era 997, nearly a millennium after humanity became a people without a planet. In this grim future, the Solar Alliance renews their struggles against the Gray, plunging into deadly battle with the eventual goal of retaking Earth.

Alisa Pierce is an elite starfighter pilot, newly promoted and placed within the celebrated 703rd Hyperspace Assault Wing, a group of hotshot pilots who take on the most dangerous missions. Rin is an artificial intelligence operator, linked to Alisa through a direct connection that allows them to share thoughts and emotions as one. Over time and through unusual circumstances, Rin has surpassed other AI and achieved a degree of independence and emotional awareness so complete that she and Alisa have fallen in love.

Together, they must overcome prejudice, fundamental questions of what makes a person and face the fears of humanity as they fly and fight to defeat the Gray and restore humanity to its former glory--all the while being caught up in intrigue and a conspiracy that threatens to destroy them both.

~ an excerpt from Binary System ~
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Old 2011-05-24, 06:17   Link #2
judasmartel
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I see that you have read my work here in the forums. I'm wondering what do you think about it. Anyways, I'm looking forward to reading your work. Keep it up!
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Old 2011-05-26, 08:01   Link #3
judasmartel
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I thought I was reading a story about Tekken's Alisa Bosconovitch.
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Old 2011-05-26, 08:28   Link #4
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That was quite an intriguing read, I must say.

Certainly issues of ignorance and petty hate were evident in this. Indeed in such a setting, times won't be that light most of the time, but a lighter setting is usually a good way to introduce characters, which worked. The setting surprised me a bit since I've read your thoughts about war and conflict in general previously. But you seemed to handle the setting fairly well thus far. I'll be interested to see how you approach it if you decide to continue pursing this story.

There already feels a bit of a melancholy yet defiant feel to the relationship between Alisa and Rin. Alisa feels very her vs. the world, yet she has found a way to let out her feelings, remain human and have some faith in the universe via Rin. The irony of Rin not being human yet being the one that keeps Alisa human is noted. Certainly Alisa is rather cold and clinical in her methods and manner, but Rin is the warmth and innocence. Opposites in a co-dependent relationship. The moment of Alisa valuing the mere component that is Rin indicated Alisa places more values on everyday things and life in general than those around her.

The beginning had a good pull to it to make me want to continue reading. The ending was a delicious, tense moment.

For some reason, I'm strongly reminded of the relationship between Sara Werec and Emily, her Mimic, in Soukou no Strain.

Worth the read and then some. Looking forward to your future creative efforts.
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Old 2011-05-26, 08:45   Link #5
judasmartel
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Got to think of Japanese names for my characters and settings now, though I'm thinking too much Kanji than anything else.

Syn's story just gave me an idea: to make up Japanese names, I don't need to provide the Kanji.
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Old 2011-05-26, 16:12   Link #6
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Well, well, well.

Very interesting, very interesting indeed. I like Rin's personality; she suits Alisa very well, and even if she's artificial, she's human in pretty much the biggest way that counts. I'm curious to see the backstory on these two, if you ever get the time for it; I feel like there's more going on with Rin than what we're told, and it's interesting to think of why Alisa was so determined to make Rin as human as possible.

Most fascinating. I look forward to more.
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Old 2011-05-26, 17:15   Link #7
synaesthetic
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To put it mildly, our heroine is a big ol' bag of issues.

Rin is actually exactly what it says on the tin; there's nothing sinister behind her creation, other than the fact that she's been allowed to develop more fully than other AIs.

This isn't a story about government conspiracies or grand plots. This is a story about a lonely woman doing an extremely dangerous job in a major Crapsack World. This isn't a military sci-fi thriller with lots of Michael Bay explosions. That's just background.

This is a story about acceptance and intolerance, love and hate, and the question--are people "people" because they're human, or are they people because they have emotions, a heart, the capacity for love?

@Beamers: To quote the Nanoha fandom, programs are people too!
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Old 2011-05-26, 19:25   Link #8
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I still request backstory.
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Old 2011-05-26, 21:32   Link #9
synaesthetic
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I already mentioned I'm going to continue writing about this, so patience will be rewarded.
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Old 2011-05-26, 22:16   Link #10
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Quite enjoyable to read, both the setting and characters are interesting so far.

Though one to comment on the setting while I get a good feel of the sizes of the ships the "grays" use, I have trouble getting the feel comparatively of the alliance fighter like one Alisa and Rin have except that it's smaller and heavily armed .

Also thanks for giving the formatted text link I find it a bit easier to read that way .

Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
I still request backstory.
Also this .
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Old 2011-05-28, 18:06   Link #11
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What a salubrious and exuberant display of proseia. I am positively delighted and osmosed!
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Old 2011-05-29, 17:44   Link #12
Asuras
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For a second I thought I was reading a real novel akin to Orson Scott Cards Enders Game.

You're a very good writer Syn. You've inspired me to start up writing things again in fact!
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Old 2011-05-29, 18:33   Link #13
synaesthetic
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Thank you. Glad that my work has inspired you to pick up the pen yourself!

btw, I love the Ender books. Speaker for the Dead happens to be my favorite, though.
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Old 2011-05-29, 19:11   Link #14
Asuras
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How often do you actually write, and are there other plot lines you've produced? I'd be happy to read others (looking for inspiration).
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Old 2011-05-29, 19:28   Link #15
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I write frequently when I'm not swamped with schoolwork. I've only been writing since the semester ended, and it's not terribly often that I get good inspiration like I did here.

I had a number of half-completed works on my old computer, but some things didn't get transferred over properly when I bought this one and I ended up losing them. It didn't bother me at the time because I had basically dropped the projects, but it was still a little annoying.
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Old 2011-05-29, 19:33   Link #16
Asuras
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Well who wouldn't be at least a little flustered? No matter the importance, most people don't like their own creations being destroyed or lost. I've always felt a little saddened when my crappy clay boxes from elementary school get thrown away or broken.

You only started writing just recently? :\ *is jealous* I've been writing for a couple years yet...
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Old 2011-05-29, 19:51   Link #17
synaesthetic
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I mean I've just started working on this project recently. I've been writing stories and fanfic for years, ever since I was little.
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Old 2011-05-31, 08:12   Link #18
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I take it this is the original work that you mentioned back when you were finishing up false light in the nanoha ff thread.

I'm really liking the shorts thus far. You've managed to build on the greater story with each portion that you've written, giving a nice glimpse into the size of the organisation, the motives behind the characters, etc

Just a correction below

Page 11, Crossing Over – There's an Incomplete sentence -> Now she was in command of an entire fleet, 1/5th of the (insert more here)

I'm looking forward to reading more of this as it becomes available. Some tech infodumps would be appreciated as well. Not in the story, that would ruin the flow (unless there's a pressing need for it) but more as a spec sheet for those interested.
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Old 2011-05-31, 17:30   Link #19
synaesthetic
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I was trying to keep the story itself focused on the characters, but if people want some supplemental material on the tech of the Alliance and their enemies, I think I can swing that.

It's important to note that the Gray aren't the only "aliens" around, but they're the most advanced and aggressive. Other alien races will be brought into the plot when/if necessary, but basically the known species aren't really at the same level as the Alliance and the Gray. Humanity has actually better tech than their nemesis, but the Gray have seemingly endless numbers. Millions of ships, most of them massive capital ships, while the Alliance has less than a million total vessels, including fighters.

When the meat of the plot really starts to hit, we'll start seeing much more of the wider universe outside of the Alliance military bubble. I suspect I'll start working on the "trigger" arc (which is multi-part and consecutive rather than falling under loose continuity) soon, perhaps after a bit more setup and day-in-the-life shorts.
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Old 2011-05-31, 18:43   Link #20
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Ooohh, backstory and foreshadowing! Nice, very nice.

I admit, though, I'm finding Alisa rather unsympathetic for some reason. Rin I adore because seriously, it's hard to not adore that girl. But seriously, Alisa either needs to be shot out of the sky and badly wounded, or given a bloody beatdown by someone who won't take her shit. I was seriously rooting for her commander to slap her when he confronted her over Rin. It's all well and good to cling to something, and I understand the discrimination she suffers from, but she's certainly not helping her own case.

Seriously. Alisa needs to break somehow. I don't care how. Because right now, I can't stand her.
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