2012-09-19, 16:10 | Link #10741 | |
User Title eaten by ravenous bunnies
IT Support
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Zeon
Age: 33
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Quote:
What was her excuse ?
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2012-09-19, 17:52 | Link #10742 | |
Unleashing the Homu-Rage
Join Date: Apr 2010
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Ahh well, prom is not that important, and far from your last shot at getting a girl, we all have plenty of opportunities left, and I will keep moving forward until I succeed. As for me, I have asked out many girls, rejected by all but one who most of them gave me the "already have a boyfriend" or "someone already asked me" excuse. |
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2012-09-20, 04:12 | Link #10745 | |
User Title eaten by ravenous bunnies
IT Support
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Zeon
Age: 33
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Quote:
Matter of fact I just got that a couple weeks ago from a girl I really liked her
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2012-09-24, 05:46 | Link #10748 |
The Most Hated™
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: A random coordinate on the space-time continuum
Age: 36
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until i was in school i did try and i did get rejected too many dozens of times, but as i entered college i stopped trying. and even now i do not try.
i have a fear of rejection, but it is understandable. After trying many times and failing you start to wonder...if there is no problem with the girls, then the problem must be with me... but no one was kind enough to tell me what did i screw up.... so i still don't know what are my shortcomings...
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2012-09-24, 14:22 | Link #10751 | |
廉頗
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Massachusetts
Age: 34
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The last thing about the pretending to be confident thing is actually telling yourself that on a regular basis throughout the day (I think it's even more important to 'trick' yourself than others... once you're fooled, you simply are confident, no?)... making a mental effort to combat feelings of unworthiness with 'delusions of grandeur,' if you will. If you have a thought where you are pitying yourself or thinking negatively, shake your head, and internally say "NO!" and start thinking positive things about yourself... I know it sounds so silly, but people don't realize how powerful a trick it is. Part of the reason people have low confidence is that they dwell on their negative attributes... if you purposefully fight against your brain's tendency to do that, over time, you will naturally feel more confident. Bonus: you don't waste your time in self-pity. Testimonial from someone who once had 'social anxiety disorder' according to a psychiatrist. I laugh at that label now... |
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2012-09-24, 19:21 | Link #10752 | |
User Title eaten by ravenous bunnies
IT Support
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Zeon
Age: 33
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Quote:
I know how you feel I was like that but now I really don't care about being rejected. It still hurts like a bitch but I just consider it to be apart of the game. If you don't try you'll be lonely and don't you wanna get laid ?
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2012-09-25, 11:59 | Link #10753 | |
Anime Cynic
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: USA
Age: 35
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Quote:
It took some effort to not sarcastically reply, "You're right, that's not fair of me. After all, I've never been to the weight room in all my life and was actually born like this." The people who say "fake it until you make it" say that because they DID that and it WORKED for them. It's why I have no sympathy for people who have trouble losing weight. "Oh you don't know what it's like!" "You're right, I don't. I just lost 40 pounds this year through happy thoughts alone. It's too bad things aren't as easy for you." You can say, "it's not easy to do that" all you want (and you'll be right), but that's not going to help anything. At some point you just have to buckle down and do the work. There's no other way.
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2012-09-25, 13:19 | Link #10754 |
Knight Errant
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Dublin, Ireland
Age: 35
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Weight loss is actually very difficult, because our bodies aren't really designed for it. The only way to do it is to make long term permanent changes to our diet and behaviour, and that's something that most people can't really commit to. So, most people find going to the gym to be incredibly dull. A weightloss regimen based on going to the gym isn't going to do them much good. On the other hand, if they enjoy playing some sport like football, integrating a weekend game into their weekly routine will do a lot more good.
The problem is that people go on weight loss routines, and they usually work. But then they reach their targets, switch back to their old lifestyle (because the current one is so unpleasant), and they go back to their previous weights. In trying to lose weight, you shouldn't really take an approach that requires lots of motivation and/or work. Because invariably you'll hit a period where you won't have the energy/time to keep up the regimen. Instead, you need to take a smarter, more lazy approach. For instance, replace your morning bangers and fried eggs with toast and cheese. The latter is a lot healthier then the former, and not a difficult change to make. On the flipside, switching from eating steaks every night to only eating bland salads, might be more difficult to stomach. And certainly having the whole thing dependent on regularly going to the gym is simply foolish. Fundamentally, the weight loss regime has to be pleasant enough whereby you would be willing to continue it for the rest of your life. It certainly has to be able to adjust to the decreased amounts of energy(and time...) you'll have as you get older. |
2012-09-25, 21:07 | Link #10755 | |
廉頗
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Massachusetts
Age: 34
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Quote:
If I were to be so bold, I'd say that proper nutrition is actually one of the most important things one could work at if they want to improve their 'dating game.' It is difficult like Don said, but I don't think it needs to be unenjoyable at all. If one is following outdated nutritional advice (examples of this BAD advice include: lower fat, lower red meat intake, eat more carbs, calorie restriction), then it will be miserable indeed, because you are losing due to a caloric deficit, which your mind and body interprets as a source of stress - and rightfully so as many overweight individuals suffer from nutrient deficiencies that can hardly be remedied by eating below their caloric needs! Instead, cut blood sugar levels, raise insulin sensitivity, and consume nutrient dense foods with protein and plenty of monounsaturated and omega-3 polyunsaturated fatty acids, particularly DHA and EPA, which have been in the spotlight recently due to the ever-popular fish oil, which can also be found in seafood itself of course, as well as pasture-raised meat. More effective than the standard, outdated (totally 80's!!! lol) low-fat stuff, would be to cut carbohydrate intake to a level of ketosis, or close, for a month and focus on tons of veggies, healthy meat and seafood, and nuts. No bread, rice, pasta, fruit, sugary drinks, anything artificial, etc Virtually everyone that is overweight would lose pounds if they followed that plan. Furthermore, as insulin sensitivity improves, this way of eating becomes entirely natural and cravings for sweets or other luxuries become few and far between. I once could binge-eat an entire carton of ice cream. Today I picked up a delicious-looking carton of gelato for my 9-year old brother and did not even have the slightest urge to taste it. Not because I've developed a steely willpower, but instead because my hormones are in check and my body no longer desires such ridiculous levels of sugar for a proper insulin response. Obviously one will look better, but also be healthier and happier (omega-3s and depression, magnesium and depression, look these up and follow the trail if interested). Of course there are a great many people with crap nutrition and good romantic experience in their life, but I wasn't one of them! I was always on the heavier side, but I used that to my advantage in my high school days as a powerlifter. When I went to college and gave up on that my weight ballooned and beyond simply looking worse I experienced depression, insomnia, anxiety, etc. It's something one cannot put into words, but the contrast from that unhealthy life to my current one is like taking some miracle drug, no bad side effects, just every day is great and enjoyable. And my lifelong temper has mysteriously subsided as well. By the way, I do exercise (weight lifting and rock climbing), but as I alluded to above, the calories in - calories burned = weight paradigm is miserably oversimplified. Far more relevant are the hormonal effects of food. Exercise is important for other reasons than weight loss and it can help, but people should not be under the impression it's 50% diet 50% exercise, or even close... Probably more like 90% diet, 10% exercise... if even that. Sorry for the rather intense outburst (I could have kept writing for hours on this subject, my friend and I are starting a website for it), but this advice above ^^^ is in my opinion what got me from being typical nerd-virgin-anxious type (a strong one, but quite typical beyond my strength) to a weird Renaissance-man type person with extremely disparate interests that has thus far been far more successful with the fairer sex. |
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2012-09-25, 22:09 | Link #10756 | ||
Knight Errant
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Dublin, Ireland
Age: 35
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Also, don't compare our great toast to american toast. Our soda bread has all kinds of roughage in it, is quite unprocessed, and is a fine thing for firming up the digestion. Not to mention that it's unsweetened(so unfortunately common in American bread...). American bread is a travesty in comparison. I'd say mainstream American bread has no redeeming qualities. Cutting it from the diet would help everyone. That said, I doubt grains have anything to offer over most vegetables. However, they are a cheap source of energy, which is an important consideration. A diet without any grains or other carbohydrates will cost significantly more, and be unaffordable to most. Quote:
Last edited by DonQuigleone; 2012-09-25 at 22:20. |
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2012-09-26, 22:40 | Link #10757 |
Unleashing the Homu-Rage
Join Date: Apr 2010
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Random question: When I first meet a girl, is there any way to effectively and easily find out if she has a boyfriend without making it immediately obvious or such.
Also, I know this is pathetic, but I feel like I have to let this out. I've honestly been thinking, I'm wondering if the fastest and easiest way for me to get a date with a girl would be a mercy date... You know, tell her about my sad past of being lonely yet wanting to a girlfriend more than anything and maybe one of them will feel enough sympathy to go on a "mercy date". |
2012-09-26, 22:42 | Link #10758 | |
Nyaaan~~
Join Date: Feb 2006
Age: 40
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Uh, I would definitely advise against any "mercy date" strategies and definitely not talk about sad pasts, etc.. Opening up too much too fast scares people away. Far away. When I was a young angsty teen, I was on both ends of that. |
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2012-09-26, 22:58 | Link #10759 | |
Unleashing the Homu-Rage
Join Date: Apr 2010
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Quote:
Also, by both ends of that, you mean people tried that strategy on you, and you tried it yourself? |
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2012-09-26, 23:24 | Link #10760 | |
blinded by blood
Author
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Don't be disingenuous. That attitude will only get you the wrong kind of girl.
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Tags |
advice, break-ups, dating, dating after divorce, divorce, happiness, love, pairings, single dad, single mom |
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