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Old 2010-08-17, 12:25   Link #26521
deathcurse
Queen of Tragedy
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
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Spoiler for Fealty:

Spoiler for Author's Note-don't read first because of SPOILERS:
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Old 2010-08-17, 12:53   Link #26522
Alavon
Worshipper of Nanoha...
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moczo View Post
... ... ... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwww.
My words exactly...aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
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Old 2010-08-17, 13:08   Link #26523
vic-vic
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
Spoiler for Fealty:

Spoiler for Author's Note-don't read first because of SPOILERS:
So, not only Nanoha have unpleasant expirience with Gadget Drones prior StrikerS.
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Old 2010-08-17, 16:09   Link #26524
Nanya01
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@dc: that was good, sad, but good.
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Old 2010-08-17, 17:14   Link #26525
RadiantBeam
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
Spoiler for Fealty:

Spoiler for Author's Note-don't read first because of SPOILERS:
Um.... damn. I jolted like all heck when the Hound broke through Hayate's barrier and chomped down, yikes.

Definitely a very good piece, and it offers a good explaination of why we never see Zaffy in his human form in StrikerS, but I prefer to think that he favors his wolf form over his human form instead. Still, if we were ever told anything about what happened between the gap of A's and StrikerS, I could see this happening, or something similar to it.

And now, random short time! Very random. Very short. Yeah.

Spoiler for In A Name:


Spoiler for Author's Notes:
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Old 2010-08-17, 17:23   Link #26526
spawnofthejudge
Explodes when thrown
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So it turned out that some of the scene breaks for Many Masters had died. I finally got around to fixing them, so it should be readable again, in case anyone wanted to read it [again].

You may now go back to your regularly scheduled programming.
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Old 2010-08-17, 18:31   Link #26527
00-Raiser
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
You know, I'm beginning to wonder if I'll EVER get done with this drabble or if it'll turn into a very long one-shot.

Spoiler for More Changes:
... What Moczo said

Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
but I prefer to think that he favors his wolf form over his human form instead.
That's exactly why he stays in wolf form. He finds it more comfortable. He uses his human form to train with the neighbourhood kids, though.
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Old 2010-08-17, 18:40   Link #26528
Moczo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
Spoiler for Fealty:

Spoiler for Author's Note-don't read first because of SPOILERS:
Allow me to reiterate what's been said, since I can't think of anything unique: very good. Very exciting. And oh, my, sad...
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Old 2010-08-17, 20:22   Link #26529
RadiantBeam
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 00-Raiser View Post
That's exactly why he stays in wolf form. He finds it more comfortable. He uses his human form to train with the neighbourhood kids, though.
Yeah, I remember that had been mentioned in one of the Sound Stages or something. Thanks for clearing that up, I couldn't remember where I'd heard it from.
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Old 2010-08-17, 21:06   Link #26530
deathcurse
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vic-vic View Post
So, not only Nanoha have unpleasant expirience with Gadget Drones prior StrikerS.
It was actually finding out that the Gadgets appeared before StrikerS to attack Nanoha that gave me the idea to use them in Fealty ^^.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
@dc: that was good, sad, but good.
Thanks! I would have liked to continue it a bit further and go more into how Hayate felt about the whole thing, but I decided to cut it short before it got overly dramatic or sentimental .

Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
Um.... damn. I jolted like all heck when the Hound broke through Hayate's barrier and chomped down, yikes.

Definitely a very good piece, and it offers a good explaination of why we never see Zaffy in his human form in StrikerS, but I prefer to think that he favors his wolf form over his human form instead. Still, if we were ever told anything about what happened between the gap of A's and StrikerS, I could see this happening, or something similar to it.
I'm glad you jumped, I deliberately tried to time that moment off expectation .

And yeah, I didn't expect it to follow canon terribly well, but it was still a fun speculation exercise ^^. Hmm, for Zafira to favour his wolf form over his human one could make an interesting character piece..... *ponders idea*

Quote:
And now, random short time! Very random. Very short. Yeah.

Spoiler for In A Name:


Spoiler for Author's Notes:
[/quote]

Damn, I never picked up the significance of her Device's name before @_@.

I have to say, other than the beginning (which felt like your style and that I liked very much), the rest of the piece doesn't feel to me like one of your better works . I always admire how you paint your characters with a really subtle, deft and original hand, but here it seems very plain and awkward, as if the characters are doing something to obviously show character instead of just simply revealing bits about themselves through subtle means.

The ending didn't quite leave a punch, although I do love the dramatic irony (since we readers know what happens to Miranda....)

Quote:
Originally Posted by 00-Raiser View Post
That's exactly why he stays in wolf form. He finds it more comfortable. He uses his human form to train with the neighbourhood kids, though.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
Yeah, I remember that had been mentioned in one of the Sound Stages or something. Thanks for clearing that up, I couldn't remember where I'd heard it from.
Gah, this isn't the first time the dang Sound Stages derailed one of my fics .....and it probably won't be the last time either .

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
You know, I'm beginning to wonder if I'll EVER get done with this drabble or if it'll turn into a very long one-shot.

Spoiler for More Changes:
It's kind of heartbreaking how Alicia is trying to shield Fate from Precia's hate by directing the blame onto herself...it's such a mother thing to do, try to preserve their child's innocence by convincing them that they're wonderful and that no one could possibly hate them. It's also kind of tragic since Alicia can't stand that Precia is so cruel to Fate, yet Alicia is doing all of this (and had created Fate in the first place) in order to save Precia's life...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Moczo View Post
Allow me to reiterate what's been said, since I can't think of anything unique: very good. Very exciting. And oh, my, sad...
Thanks! ^^ I'm surprised that the main reaction I got was sad! I guess, in a twisted way, I kind of viewed the ending as positive?
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Old 2010-08-17, 21:13   Link #26531
Moczo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post

Thanks! ^^ I'm surprised that the main reaction I got was sad! I guess, in a twisted way, I kind of viewed the ending as positive?
Spoiler for Fealty Response:

Last edited by Moczo; 2010-08-18 at 00:36. Reason: Because I realized this was a huge freakin' spoiler... sorry...
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Old 2010-08-17, 23:27   Link #26532
Yasanagi
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Posted up new chapter of Material Days on FF.Net. Contains some rewritten portions which should smooth out the overall story flow.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6195756/4/Material_Days
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Old 2010-08-18, 04:53   Link #26533
NorthernFallout
The Interstellar Medium
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Spoiler for The Illusion of True Power (A commentary on a certain shafted character):
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Last edited by NorthernFallout; 2010-08-18 at 14:54.
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Old 2010-08-18, 07:16   Link #26534
MeisterBabylon
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The voice of Tzeentch is strong here.
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Old 2010-08-18, 09:32   Link #26535
Comartemis
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AtomicoX View Post
Spoiler for The Illusion of True Power (A commentary on a certain shafted character):


FUND IT!
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Old 2010-08-18, 10:36   Link #26536
Thunderbird
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A fic I wrote while intoxicated. Yeah I know thats not a good thing since alcohol never really mixes with anything...but anyway

Spoiler for Whiskey Lullaby:

Nanya wanted me to post it. And I figured the mistress wanted a little...something involved >.>
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Old 2010-08-18, 10:42   Link #26537
Nanya01
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Well, you know that I liked it.
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Old 2010-08-18, 12:16   Link #26538
vic-vic
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Thunderbird View Post
A fic I wrote while intoxicated. Yeah I know thats not a good thing since alcohol never really mixes with anything...but anyway

Spoiler for Whiskey Lullaby:

Nanya wanted me to post it. And I figured the mistress wanted a little...something involved >.>
Alcohol - enemy of mankind

But, still a good story (sad, though)
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Old 2010-08-18, 12:51   Link #26539
ninryu
It's yuri, bitches
 
 
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Nanya-san, I love you fanfic, please keep it!
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Old 2010-08-18, 13:18   Link #26540
RadiantBeam
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
Damn, I never picked up the significance of her Device's name before @_@.

I have to say, other than the beginning (which felt like your style and that I liked very much), the rest of the piece doesn't feel to me like one of your better works . I always admire how you paint your characters with a really subtle, deft and original hand, but here it seems very plain and awkward, as if the characters are doing something to obviously show character instead of just simply revealing bits about themselves through subtle means.

The ending didn't quite leave a punch, although I do love the dramatic irony (since we readers know what happens to Miranda....)
To be fair, the first time around the significance of her Device's name wasn't there because her Device originally had a different name. I only recently changed it.

I hate to say how much I agree with you. XD My writing flow is still a little off because I'm a tad burned out from bio class. It was just a random short I wanted to post so I could avoid the flood of "Thanatos? Why is her Device named Thanatos?" questions I might have gotten when I started the short story I have in mind (sometime this year). Of course, I'll probably end up having to explain it again anyway since I honestly don't like how this short came out, so I won't put it up on "Shadowfire".

EDIT: Pageclaim for Device names!
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