Nanoha FanFiction Discussion

[Fuyu no Sora]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

A new Shadowverse short, inspired by some of the recent discussion we had in the FFT. Lutecia is 14, Vivio is 10, in terms of age, mostly because I wanted to get them at an age where romance wasn't an issue for either of them.

Spoiler for Pillow Talk:

The singsong chime of a connection being formed alerted Lutecia to the fact that a call was incoming on her Device; she groaned, rolled over, and shoved her head under her pillow to muffle the sound. Next to her, Miranda muttered sleepily and shifted before settling in, continuing to sleep as if nothing had disturbed her.

“Asclepius, block the call,” the summoner muttered; usually she was more polite about things, but she had just finished an infiltration mission for the NSIS and was trying to catch what little sleep she could before they left the planet in the morning. She didn’t even dare glance at the alarm clock beside the small hotel bed.

“Incoming call is Takamachi Vivio.”

Exhaustion and the aches in her body had the lilac-haired girl briefly consider blocking the call anyway, just so she could get some sleep. Affection for the girl who was calling made her pull her head out from under her pillow and roll over, holding Asclepius up. “All right, let her through.”

There was a confirming beep in response to her command; a moment later, the small holoscreen opened up. Even in pixels, Vivio looked ready to burst with energy. Lutecia shifted a little to get more comfortable, pushing her hair out of her eyes. “Hey, Vi.” She tried to smile; it came out sleepy and lopsided.

“Hey, Cia!” On the other hand, her friend was practically bubbling with energy; something good must have happened. An instant later, she realized the state her friend was in and winced, lowering her voice. “I’m sorry. Did I wake you up?”

Beside her, Miranda grumbled; Lutecia chuckled softly. “Yeah. It’s all right.”

Vivio’s shoulders drooped a little. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think the time differences would be so big, we just finished eating dinner here…”

“Hey, I said it’s all right.” Lutecia smiled again, and this time it came out as she intended. “So what happened?”

Seeming soothed by her older friend’s reassurances, Vivio’s excitement returned full force. “You remember that big Belkan history test you were helping me study for all week?”

“Yeah.” She’d spent that week splitting time between the Library and her mission briefings and training. Not a fun week overall, but she didn’t regret a moment of it. “Did you pass?”

The honey blonde’s eyes lit up. “Yes! I even did better than Rio for once!”

Rio, Rio, Rio… Lutecia wracked her sleep-clouded brain, trying to match the name to the face. It took her a moment, but eventually she recalled the dark-haired girl Vivio was friends with, and that she was the top of her class. Vivio scoring higher than her on a test was a pretty big deal.

“That’s great, Vi!” Her delight for her friend was genuine, even if her voice was soft so she wouldn’t stir her sleeping companion. Miranda grunted anyway and elbowed Lutecia; without so much as looking at her, the red-eyed summoner plucked up her pillow, reached back, and whacked her partner over the head with it.

“Yeah, Nanoha-mama and Fate-mama were very proud.” Vivio beamed, pleased that she had been able to make her mothers happy that way. She leaned in closer to the screen. “Oh, and guess what else?”

“What?”

Now she practically exploded with excitement. “Nanoha-mama is taking me in tomorrow to get me a Device!”

Lutecia blinked, trying to process this information and remember why it was so important; she eventually did, and laughed softly. “Only took her four years.”

“I know.” Vivio pouted. “I even asked if I could get it when I was nine, like her and Fate-mama, but she said no.”

Personally, Lutecia understood the reasoning of Nanoha’s logic; the younger Vivio was given a Device, the sooner she was considered ready and able to be trained for combat. She had already received some light training in the area, but it was only small, physical combat stuff; nothing that could really support her in a battlefield with traps set and spells blazing. Just the thought of Vivio even entering a battlefield at the same age as her mothers made Lutecia shudder.

“Cia?”

“Sorry, I was just thinking.” She shook it off, then grinned. “But that’s great news! You must be excited.”

“I am! I’m a little nervous, since apparently the personality has been programmed and everything.” Vivio fidgeted. “I hope he or she likes me.”

“I’m sure they will, Vivio. It’s hard to not like you.”

Vivio giggled at the compliment; she leaned back in her chair, satisfied that her excitement in the news had somehow drifted through the screen and infected her friend. The lull in conversation allowed Lutecia’s exhaustion to momentarily catch up with her mind, and she muffled a yawn behind her hand.

“Are you coming home tomorrow?”

“If it all works out. I should be home by about…. Um… I want to say noon Mid-Childan time.”

“Oh, so you’ll be home after I get my Device! Cool, I’ll bring him or her over and show you!”

“Sounds like a plan.” Lutecia was distracted by another yawn. “I’m sorry, Vi…”

“Yeah, I know.” Vivio smiled sheepishly. “I should be the one apologizing, since I woke you up and all.”

“It’s okay. I’m glad you told me.” The older girl smiled sleepily. “You’ll have to tell me more about it when I get home.”

“I will.” Vivio nodded, then hesitated for a moment before she spoke again, softly. “Cia?”

“Yeah?”

The younger girl smiled at her friend. “Sweet dreams.”

Lutecia chuckled again; her eyes softened. “Sweet dreams. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? It’s a promise.”

“Okay.”

The call ended then, with another soft beep to indicate the line being cut; the holoscreen powered down and Lutecia sighed sleepily, grabbing her pillow back from Miranda’s hair and setting it down, resting against it.

She was asleep in an instant, lulled by Miranda’s soft breathing.

Spoiler for Author's Notes:

1. Yes, Lutecia and Miranda are sharing a bed on this mission. The main thought behind that is the room only had one bed, and it's not like sleeping together like this after a mission is a big deal for either of them. Mostly, I just did it for the pillow gag.

2. I don't know how clearly it comes across, but I did want to make it kind of obvious that to some extent, Vivio looks up to Lutecia. It's sort of hard to portray, especially since in actual canon they don't seem to have a very close relationship, at least not as I think of it compared to Shadowverse. I did try to get across te fact that Vivio enjoys Lutecia's company, both as a friend and as a cool older girl, but I don't know how well it came across.

3. Vivio gets a Device at ten, because it happens in canon. I also think Dezo mentioned in at least one of his Shadowverse Vivio-centered shorts that she got Burning Glory at ten.

...

D'awww. It was rather short and very sweet! It definitely shows Vivio as a child that admires the Cool Older Girl that Lulu is to her. I find it funny that she deflated a bit when she realized "whoops, woke her up!".

Also, love the pillow gag. *snicker* Though the fact that Miranda is included in here makes me want to grab you and shake you hard for killing her off when she has so much potential, grr. *shakes fist* I like the fact that Lulu is able to see Nanoha's point of view concerning Vivio getting a device, and shares it, showing that before she and Vi got into a relationship, Lu just wanted what was best for her.

By the way: The "Dezo-mentioned-in-one-of-his-stories-that-Vi-got-Burning Glory-at-ten" story is Actually One of the Better Excuses.

Again, cute short! Keep 'em coming!

[DezoPenguin]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

A new Shadowverse short, inspired by some of the recent discussion we had in the FFT. Lutecia is 14, Vivio is 10, in terms of age, mostly because I wanted to get them at an age where romance wasn't an issue for either of them.

Spoiler for Pillow Talk:

The singsong chime of a connection being formed alerted Lutecia to the fact that a call was incoming on her Device; she groaned, rolled over, and shoved her head under her pillow to muffle the sound. Next to her, Miranda muttered sleepily and shifted before settling in, continuing to sleep as if nothing had disturbed her.

“Asclepius, block the call,” the summoner muttered; usually she was more polite about things, but she had just finished an infiltration mission for the NSIS and was trying to catch what little sleep she could before they left the planet in the morning. She didn’t even dare glance at the alarm clock beside the small hotel bed.

“Incoming call is Takamachi Vivio.”

Exhaustion and the aches in her body had the lilac-haired girl briefly consider blocking the call anyway, just so she could get some sleep. Affection for the girl who was calling made her pull her head out from under her pillow and roll over, holding Asclepius up. “All right, let her through.”

There was a confirming beep in response to her command; a moment later, the small holoscreen opened up. Even in pixels, Vivio looked ready to burst with energy. Lutecia shifted a little to get more comfortable, pushing her hair out of her eyes. “Hey, Vi.” She tried to smile; it came out sleepy and lopsided.

“Hey, Cia!” On the other hand, her friend was practically bubbling with energy; something good must have happened. An instant later, she realized the state her friend was in and winced, lowering her voice. “I’m sorry. Did I wake you up?”

Beside her, Miranda grumbled; Lutecia chuckled softly. “Yeah. It’s all right.”

Vivio’s shoulders drooped a little. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think the time differences would be so big, we just finished eating dinner here…”

“Hey, I said it’s all right.” Lutecia smiled again, and this time it came out as she intended. “So what happened?”

Seeming soothed by her older friend’s reassurances, Vivio’s excitement returned full force. “You remember that big Belkan history test you were helping me study for all week?”

“Yeah.” She’d spent that week splitting time between the Library and her mission briefings and training. Not a fun week overall, but she didn’t regret a moment of it. “Did you pass?”

The honey blonde’s eyes lit up. “Yes! I even did better than Rio for once!”

Rio, Rio, Rio… Lutecia wracked her sleep-clouded brain, trying to match the name to the face. It took her a moment, but eventually she recalled the dark-haired girl Vivio was friends with, and that she was the top of her class. Vivio scoring higher than her on a test was a pretty big deal.

“That’s great, Vi!” Her delight for her friend was genuine, even if her voice was soft so she wouldn’t stir her sleeping companion. Miranda grunted anyway and elbowed Lutecia; without so much as looking at her, the red-eyed summoner plucked up her pillow, reached back, and whacked her partner over the head with it.

“Yeah, Nanoha-mama and Fate-mama were very proud.” Vivio beamed, pleased that she had been able to make her mothers happy that way. She leaned in closer to the screen. “Oh, and guess what else?”

“What?”

Now she practically exploded with excitement. “Nanoha-mama is taking me in tomorrow to get me a Device!”

Lutecia blinked, trying to process this information and remember why it was so important; she eventually did, and laughed softly. “Only took her four years.”

“I know.” Vivio pouted. “I even asked if I could get it when I was nine, like her and Fate-mama, but she said no.”

Personally, Lutecia understood the reasoning of Nanoha’s logic; the younger Vivio was given a Device, the sooner she was considered ready and able to be trained for combat. She had already received some light training in the area, but it was only small, physical combat stuff; nothing that could really support her in a battlefield with traps set and spells blazing. Just the thought of Vivio even entering a battlefield at the same age as her mothers made Lutecia shudder.

“Cia?”

“Sorry, I was just thinking.” She shook it off, then grinned. “But that’s great news! You must be excited.”

“I am! I’m a little nervous, since apparently the personality has been programmed and everything.” Vivio fidgeted. “I hope he or she likes me.”

“I’m sure they will, Vivio. It’s hard to not like you.”

Vivio giggled at the compliment; she leaned back in her chair, satisfied that her excitement in the news had somehow drifted through the screen and infected her friend. The lull in conversation allowed Lutecia’s exhaustion to momentarily catch up with her mind, and she muffled a yawn behind her hand.

“Are you coming home tomorrow?”

“If it all works out. I should be home by about…. Um… I want to say noon Mid-Childan time.”

“Oh, so you’ll be home after I get my Device! Cool, I’ll bring him or her over and show you!”

“Sounds like a plan.” Lutecia was distracted by another yawn. “I’m sorry, Vi…”

“Yeah, I know.” Vivio smiled sheepishly. “I should be the one apologizing, since I woke you up and all.”

“It’s okay. I’m glad you told me.” The older girl smiled sleepily. “You’ll have to tell me more about it when I get home.”

“I will.” Vivio nodded, then hesitated for a moment before she spoke again, softly. “Cia?”

“Yeah?”

The younger girl smiled at her friend. “Sweet dreams.”

Lutecia chuckled again; her eyes softened. “Sweet dreams. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? It’s a promise.”

“Okay.”

The call ended then, with another soft beep to indicate the line being cut; the holoscreen powered down and Lutecia sighed sleepily, grabbing her pillow back from Miranda’s hair and setting it down, resting against it.

She was asleep in an instant, lulled by Miranda’s soft breathing.

Spoiler for Author's Notes:

1. Yes, Lutecia and Miranda are sharing a bed on this mission. The main thought behind that is the room only had one bed, and it's not like sleeping together like this after a mission is a big deal for either of them. Mostly, I just did it for the pillow gag.

2. I don't know how clearly it comes across, but I did want to make it kind of obvious that to some extent, Vivio looks up to Lutecia. It's sort of hard to portray, especially since in actual canon they don't seem to have a very close relationship, at least not as I think of it compared to Shadowverse. I did try to get across te fact that Vivio enjoys Lutecia's company, both as a friend and as a cool older girl, but I don't know how well it came across.

3. Vivio gets a Device at ten, because it happens in canon. I also think Dezo mentioned in at least one of his Shadowverse Vivio-centered shorts that she got Burning Glory at ten.

No real time for a proper review (too many other things to respond to in messages and e-mails), but I note that it's Corona who's the scholastic genius (straight 100s on her tests in ViVid!) while Rio is the one who's tops in magic. And I nearly spat pomegranate soda all over the computer when I got to the part about Miranda. (I note though...um...it totally reads wrong without the Author's Note )

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by DezoPenguin

No real time for a proper review (too many other things to respond to in messages and e-mails), but I note that it's Corona who's the scholastic genius (straight 100s on her tests in ViVid!) while Rio is the one who's tops in magic. And I nearly spat pomegranate soda all over the computer when I got to the part about Miranda. (I note though...um...it totally reads wrong without the Author's Note )

Ah, shoot, I thought it was Rio. I'll have to go back and edit that later at some point, that's what I get for not reading Vivid anymore. And blah, that was not what I intended! I guess I'll have to make it more clear in the one-shot that Lutecia and Miranda sleeping together like that is something they're doing because they have to, and not for any other reason.

[sniperk]

Originally Posted by GaelicDragon

Well, this is my first publishing of a fic in years...

Oh, and even if this was my idea...I blame Nanya for convincing me to write it out.

Spoiler for Vita's capture:

*snip*

Oh, and Raiser...a pear necklace....
Did the Harry and David catalog add a new item since I last looked?

Interesting, to say the least. I never really though out how the Wolkies became part of the TotNS, but this can turn to fit very well. Keep at it.

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

A new Shadowverse short, inspired by some of the recent discussion we had in the FFT. Lutecia is 14, Vivio is 10, in terms of age, mostly because I wanted to get them at an age where romance wasn't an issue for either of them.

Spoiler for Pillow Talk:

*snip*

Spoiler for Author's Notes:

1. Yes, Lutecia and Miranda are sharing a bed on this mission. The main thought behind that is the room only had one bed, and it's not like sleeping together like this after a mission is a big deal for either of them. Mostly, I just did it for the pillow gag.

2. I don't know how clearly it comes across, but I did want to make it kind of obvious that to some extent, Vivio looks up to Lutecia. It's sort of hard to portray, especially since in actual canon they don't seem to have a very close relationship, at least not as I think of it compared to Shadowverse. I did try to get across te fact that Vivio enjoys Lutecia's company, both as a friend and as a cool older girl, but I don't know how well it came across.

3. Vivio gets a Device at ten, because it happens in canon. I also think Dezo mentioned in at least one of his Shadowverse Vivio-centered shorts that she got Burning Glory at ten.

I didn't get the pillow gag (maybe because it came from another fic/short and I haven't read it yet) Anyway, the conversation between the two seemed normal, maybe a little too normal, in a way that I can't really place it. Maybe it's because you set it up way when they were younger that I didn't got the feeling of anything much. If the thought was to get across that Vivio looked up to Lutecia in a 'cool older girl' I hate to say but it came off as rather mild. But the content was interesting enough to get a few grins from me, so in the end I liked.

Originally Posted by Nanya01

Just to get my quota for the day...

And, I told you guys, these mini-arcs aren't going to be very long.

Red

Yagami Start

Spoiler for Blood That Flows - Peek - Yagami End:

*snip*

Ohoho... Reinforce is resembling more and more the Okami figure on Hanasaku Iroha, on the tough-love part.
Zafira playing the protective older brother? Want!
Shamal... Binds... S&M... Too many unclean toughts to write it up.
I couldn't stop laughing at Vita's scrambling and could almost picture Signum sweating cold. Nice.
Poor Hayate tough. After going through rehab once, having to go again sure sounds tough.

[shiroi mahotsukai]

Originally Posted by Nanya01

Just to get my quota for the day...

And, I told you guys, these mini-arcs aren't going to be very long.

Red

Yagami Start

Spoiler for Blood That Flows - Peek - Yagami End:

Zafira stretched as he raised his head and looked around sleepily. "Mmm?" He could have sworn he had heard a familiar noise a little bit ago, but shrugged it off. Yawning slightly, he trotted from his bed roll in the hallway, he turned down any offer to have his own room after Hayate offered it to him, still, there was an empty room just for him in case he ever changed his mind, into the living room and looked at Reinforce, who seemed to be a touch upset as she looked at the wall. Turning his head, he merely raised an eyebrow as he saw Vita standing with her face against the wall, her panties around her ankles and her bare, round ass on display for anyone to look at.

If it wasn't for the fact that it was Vita's bare butt, he'd appreciate the view more. Oh, Zafira knew that Vita had a very lovely rear end and was growing up into a beautiful woman, but he couldn't look at her like that. She was too much like a sister to him.

Though, if she ever had a boyfriend, or even a girlfriend if she swung that way, Zafira knew that he'd have fun at playing the over-protective older brother.

"Morning, Zafira." Reinforce nodded to him and Vita stiffened in the corner. "Don't you dare try to cover yourself, Vita." The redhead whimpered and Zafira sighed, feeling sorry for her.

"Reinforce, don't you think she's had enough?" Reinforce looked at him, slightly annoyed. "I'm sure that she's sorry for what she did, and it's early in the morning." He looked at Vita and saw her squirming slightly. "Unless you want to clean up a mess on the carpet..."

Reinforce looked at Vita and twitched slightly. "Have you learned your lesson, Vita?" The girl nodded vigorously. "Alright then, pull them up and you can get out of there." The words were barely out of her mouth when Vita was dashing from the corner to the bathroom while holding her panties above her knees. "She really should thank you."

Zafira would shrug, but he was in his wolf form. "It is rather early in the morning. You could have at least waited for her to go to the bathroom."

"I guess..." Reinforce nodded and sighed. "...You think I'm too hard on her?"

"You're very strict, yes, but I don't think you're too hard, myself." He shook his head. "You never spank her for no reason. Hell, you hardly have to give a warning and Vita shapes up. She's a teenager though, hormones are going to make it a bit difficult." He had seen too many teenagers to not know what they could be like. "Why did you spank her this time?"

"I don't appreciate getting hit in the face outside of sparring." Reinforce sighed softly.

Zafira had nothing to say to that. "Excuse me." He wandered back to his bed, leaving Reinforce alone in the living room with her thoughts.

(---)

"Morning, Signum!" Signum groaned and cracked an eye open. In front of her, Shamal was sitting, smiling with her eyes closed and in a nightgown that was partially open, revealing a good amount of cleavage to the sleepy swords woman. "Good to see you're awake. You've been out for a long time."

Signum licked her lips and tried to sit up but blinked as she found two things that were odd. The first was that she wasn't wearing a shirt. Not too unusual, considering how her side felt that morning. The second thing was that she couldn't move her arms or legs to help her. Looking at her wrists, she raised an eyebrow. "Shamal... Why are there binds around my wrists and ankles?"

"I have no idea what you mean." Shamal's voice was still in that very pleasant, very nice tone and Signum started to sweat slightly.

"You're pissed, aren't you?"

"What? Just because you went and nearly got yourself killed? Or the fact that you never came in until Vita dragged your dying carcass to the healers? Or maybe it was how you pushed me aside when I knew you needed to heal?"

Signum actually did gulp as she saw Shamal's eye twitching with that last one. "They needed help, I will not run when I can help."

"Yes, and you're incredibly weak, sore and unable to break those binds I put on you, aren't you?" Shamal opened her eyes and Signum almost wished that she could just pass out.

Shamal didn't get angry very easily. Hell, Shamal was less prone to losing her temper than she was, normally.

Seeing Shamal's eyes show nothing but anger, frustration, worry and fear made Signum almost wish that she was still unconscious.

Shamal could get inventive when she was upset.

Which probably meant that Signum was going to be fed Shamal's cooking until she fully recovered.

(---)

"Daddy?" Rein Zwei frowned as Hayate looked at her, smiling. "Can you move?"

"Not very well, I'm afraid." Hayate smiled as she slowly shook her head. "I feel really drained and I can't make most of my muscles work."

"Will... Will you be okay?"

"Someday." Hayate sighed softly. "Your daddy will be fine, Zwei. Mommy will be taking me to the hospital to make sure that I'm taken care of properly."

"You won't be here?" Reinforce Zwei teared up as she looked at Hayate.

"Don't worry, I'll just be there for a few days at a time. It's just for precaution purposes, okay?" Rein Zwei nodded, sniffling. "Hey, I'm alive. And, hey, as soon as I'm on my feet again, how about I take you and the rest of the family out to a big fancy dinner?" When Rein Zwei's eyes lit up, Hayate smiled as the tiny girl hugged her, thanking her. "Don't worry, daddy will be just fine."

Hayate was sure she'd be fine. She just needed time to recover.

-Yagami End

Everybody's overprotective here it seems, maybe it's a family trait.

[deathcurse]

Originally Posted by GaelicDragon

Well, this is my first publishing of a fic in years...

Oh, and even if this was my idea...I blame Nanya for convincing me to write it out.

Spoiler for Vita's capture:

Vita awoke with a long, spasming moan. Her body felt heavy, and in worse condition than her first day at the academy. Every motion was protested painfully by her muscules and her magic felt worse than the one time she had burned her magic to the nub to gain Graf Eisen’s second form. As her feet rose to begin the process of getting out of her bed…she felt her first problem. With a few brief tugs, her increasingly panicked brain began to realize that something was desperately wrong.

“Wha…” groaned out a bedraggled Vita as she started to slowly shift around in her current bed. Her twitching body seeming to refuse her minds order to get out of bed and to head towards her roommates side of the room for an immediate healing spell. It was the sound of wire over metal and the jerking motion of her restrained legs when she vaguely realized that this was not her academy dorm, and no one would have beaten her this badly in a sparring match.

“She is awakening my master,” droned a soft voice. A voice that Vita admitted might have been pretty had it actually had any emotional inflection in it. She wasn’t a Knight-errant yet, but even she could tell that SOMETHING had happened to make the woman like this.

“Good, well she’s here for an interview to be my guard. Let’s start,” softly proclaimed the haughty woman’s voice.

“What’s going on…” warbled Vita. Her throat hurt, like she had been screaming herself hoarse for a long time.

“Well, the good news is that you passed the first test in becoming one of my guardian knights. You fought well. Truly a magnificent performance for one of the academies protegies,” gloated the noble woman.

“What’s going on,” groaned out Vita. She was just beginning to be able to control some of the less abused portions of her body. Some of her training in music that her mother put her though made her able to cover the damage to her voice.

“You are about to become a part of my guardians. My Wolkenritter. With our power and abilities, not even the Saint Kaiser will be willing to stop us,” said the noble woman with a meglomatical gleam in her eyes.

“Judging by my senses. You couldn’t even make it though the entrance requirements at the academy. Just how in the hole that Al-Hazard fell into do you think that you’ll do anything other than make a smear on the Cradle,” snarked back Vita

“I trust that a common child such as yourself does not get the finesse of my plans. But then again, your known as the Iron Hammer, so I will be generous and forgive you,” stated the noblewoman with an air of flippancy. Oh, Vita well knew that she was angry. The way that the noblewomans brow twitched at the remark about her power had hit dead on target.

“So, care to tell me just why I am restrained and you set your dog on me,” questioned Vita. She was still in a quite a bit of pain, but she was used to overcoming pain in her lifestyle. She was also slowly becoming more lucid in her surroundings. An elegant, yet bare room surrounded her. Larger than four of the dorm rooms, all past furniture seemed to have been moved quickly out of the room. High windows allowed ample light into the room without sacrificing wall space for the many beautifully done ancestor portraits. Large, dark wooden cabinets seemed to take up one corner. Vita could not fathom a reason for such an odd shape and location in a nobles house. The bare wood seemed to be dirty, like no one truly cleaned it in awhile. Some books also leaned against a table in the middle. As she strained her neck to look around, she noticed that her shoulders were bare and that she was covered by a comfortable blanket. Her limbs were restrained by what appeared to be a wire rope that was feed into a pulley system that countered any resistance that she tried to exert. Even the enhancement of her meager magical reserves was countered.

“Zafira was your initiation. I have sent multiple invitations to the best of many academies. Unfortunately, there have been so many disappointments. It’s too bad that all of that talent seemed to be wasted on them. Well, they are apart of something greater now,” chuckled the noblewoman at the end. It was with a chilling realization that Vita figured out what happened to her mentor Ingrid last year.

“You…You’re the reason why so many of the star students are missing. Are you INSANE! We’re currently in a full scale war and your taking…no destroying those who are potentially our greatest warriors. For what,” screamed Vita.

“Why for glory. What else could my family gift me with its unison device,” stated the arrogant noble proudly. In her hands, Vita now noticed that what she thought had been a book for light reading was actually a Belkan Tome. One of the rare devices that was generally hoarded by a family with any kind of history. There was one point of confusion. Where was the unison device? There was no one but the weak noblewoman infront of Vita. Her academy classes had covered the coveted Unison devices and some of their abilities. It was the dream of most students to be commanded by one worthy of such a boon.

Now it was her nightmare.

“What glory,” snorted Vita. She couldn’t help but get a chill down her spin as the insane bitch seemed to smile.

“Why, we shall become second only to the Saint Kaiser herself. Our might shall subdue anyone who would stand in the way of our dreams as we rise up to the station that we are meant for,” proclaimed the noblewoman with a great deal of conviction.

“Mistress strives to raise herself to advisor to the current Saint Kaiser,” stated the blond woman with a look of adoration towards the noblewoman. It was too bad that her monotone voice destroyed the effect.

“For one of my noble birth, nothing but the highest of stations should be allowed,” proclaimed the noble woman. Her long fingers seeming to tap in the air in front of her chin. A habitual motion that Vita guessed was from commonly carrying one of the hand fans that were in fashion.

“And what if I disagree with becoming one of your precious Wolkenritter,” stated Vita in a droll fashion. Even bound such as this, there wasn’t even a thought towards joining this noblewoman as a guard. Let her rot for all Vita could care. Over the period of time, Vita’s temper had been growing gradually as the woman proclaimed her opinion.

“You would refuse the honor of serving me. No, I do not believe that one such as yourself would be deluded enough to refuse such a grand offer,” stated the noble woman.

“You would be surprised,” drawled Vita.

“Must be the damage you took in the fight…servant, cast a healing spell immediately,” shouted the noblewoman at the end. The blonde finally got up form her look of adoration and slowly shuffled across the floor. Her only clothing seemed to be a ‘serviceable’ knight armor that most first years would have picked on the student who created it for incompetence. Which means that her host must have taken great pride in creating it. As the blond woman got close, she case a spell through the rings on her hands to form a green spell that seemed to seep into Vita’s body. After a short time, and not enough energy to add any to her reserves, the blond halted the spell and walked away from Vita.

“Maybe now you’ll change your mind,” drawled the noblewoman in the same manner that Vita had just done to her.

“Not a chance on your life,” snarked Vita as she tried to strain against the four devices holding her down. It was during the shifting that Vita began to notice that the feel of that blanket was rather direct.

“What did you do pervert”

“Why nothing much. I had my servant Zafira take you out of your bothersome clothes while you were in our care. Don’t worry, your child body did not stir any form of lust in the noble Zafira,” stated the noblewoman with a grin.

…unknown scene here…

“Well, it seems that you won’t allow yourself to enjoy my august presence. Maybe it is time to type another type of…persuasion,” remarked the noblewoman dryly. She had tried every trick in her rather considerable book in order to soften Vita to the notion of being a part of her Wolkenritter. Well, a boy would have been an easier target, but Vita was the best that she had been able to convince to show for her “interview”.

“Servant, maybe poor little Vita needs a bit of your ‘special’ embrace.”

“Yes my master. Klair Wind”

“Ja”

Vita couldn’t help but wonder just what device the blond was using. Was it going to be some kind of piercing weapon? Or some kind of armor like most support types seemed to prefer. Watching two of the crystals extend from the devices like divining rods looked strangely beautiful. It was when they formed a circle that things went naked into the dimensional sea. First it was like something was off with her guts, but not. A strange phantom pain. And then…the pain.

Vita could only hope to never be able to describe the feelings. It was like something was squeezing her guts on the inside, but it was greater. She felt her muscules twitch in pain as her body strove to cope with the feeling of pain that seemingly had no source. Her stomache churned and her muscules twitched in random patterns, some against each other. After a mere second, she was screaming. Why! Why her. Why couldn’t this bitch just leave her alone. And then, more pain.

“Say you’ll devote you self as my faithful servant and I shall let my servant release you. I may even be willing to allow you to fall unconscious if you take this offer,” stated the amused noblewoman.

“Never,” grunted Vita. Now she knew why she felt like shit earlier. Her ‘host’ must have ordered this done to her to subdue her when she was fighting that blue guardian beast. Her body was quivering from the onslaught of pain that it had just undergone and she could taste the bile at the back of her throat. A part of her was beginning to panic. She, the Iron Knight, needed help. She desperately wanted her parents to come save her. She had told them about her interview. They had to be worried about her if she didn’t call back soon. Papa…Mama….help…

“Servant…continue”

And the pain returned. The immense pain that came, and when she looked down, she could see the blonds hand holding something…was that her LINKER CORE! By the Kaiser, why!

After a few moments of watching the young girl scream her lungs out the noblewoman decided to try a different angle.

“Servant, stop for now”
“Yes master”

Vita could only twitch. It took a few seconds for Vita to realize that the pain had ended. She could feel the scratchiness of her throat as she tried to get some air into her lungs.

Interesting idea. Signum, Shamal and Zafira's almost brainwashed responses have me wondering if they are faking enthusiasm because it's safer that way, or if there are nastier things going on.

I was puzzled as well at the "unknown scene here" part though .

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

A new Shadowverse short, inspired by some of the recent discussion we had in the FFT. Lutecia is 14, Vivio is 10, in terms of age, mostly because I wanted to get them at an age where romance wasn't an issue for either of them.

Spoiler for Pillow Talk:

The singsong chime of a connection being formed alerted Lutecia to the fact that a call was incoming on her Device; she groaned, rolled over, and shoved her head under her pillow to muffle the sound. Next to her, Miranda muttered sleepily and shifted before settling in, continuing to sleep as if nothing had disturbed her.

“Asclepius, block the call,” the summoner muttered; usually she was more polite about things, but she had just finished an infiltration mission for the NSIS and was trying to catch what little sleep she could before they left the planet in the morning. She didn’t even dare glance at the alarm clock beside the small hotel bed.

“Incoming call is Takamachi Vivio.”

Exhaustion and the aches in her body had the lilac-haired girl briefly consider blocking the call anyway, just so she could get some sleep. Affection for the girl who was calling made her pull her head out from under her pillow and roll over, holding Asclepius up. “All right, let her through.”

There was a confirming beep in response to her command; a moment later, the small holoscreen opened up. Even in pixels, Vivio looked ready to burst with energy. Lutecia shifted a little to get more comfortable, pushing her hair out of her eyes. “Hey, Vi.” She tried to smile; it came out sleepy and lopsided.

“Hey, Cia!” On the other hand, her friend was practically bubbling with energy; something good must have happened. An instant later, she realized the state her friend was in and winced, lowering her voice. “I’m sorry. Did I wake you up?”

Beside her, Miranda grumbled; Lutecia chuckled softly. “Yeah. It’s all right.”

Vivio’s shoulders drooped a little. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think the time differences would be so big, we just finished eating dinner here…”

“Hey, I said it’s all right.” Lutecia smiled again, and this time it came out as she intended. “So what happened?”

Seeming soothed by her older friend’s reassurances, Vivio’s excitement returned full force. “You remember that big Belkan history test you were helping me study for all week?”

“Yeah.” She’d spent that week splitting time between the Library and her mission briefings and training. Not a fun week overall, but she didn’t regret a moment of it. “Did you pass?”

The honey blonde’s eyes lit up. “Yes! I even did better than Rio for once!”

Rio, Rio, Rio… Lutecia wracked her sleep-clouded brain, trying to match the name to the face. It took her a moment, but eventually she recalled the dark-haired girl Vivio was friends with, and that she was the top of her class. Vivio scoring higher than her on a test was a pretty big deal.

“That’s great, Vi!” Her delight for her friend was genuine, even if her voice was soft so she wouldn’t stir her sleeping companion. Miranda grunted anyway and elbowed Lutecia; without so much as looking at her, the red-eyed summoner plucked up her pillow, reached back, and whacked her partner over the head with it.

“Yeah, Nanoha-mama and Fate-mama were very proud.” Vivio beamed, pleased that she had been able to make her mothers happy that way. She leaned in closer to the screen. “Oh, and guess what else?”

“What?”

Now she practically exploded with excitement. “Nanoha-mama is taking me in tomorrow to get me a Device!”

Lutecia blinked, trying to process this information and remember why it was so important; she eventually did, and laughed softly. “Only took her four years.”

“I know.” Vivio pouted. “I even asked if I could get it when I was nine, like her and Fate-mama, but she said no.”

Personally, Lutecia understood the reasoning of Nanoha’s logic; the younger Vivio was given a Device, the sooner she was considered ready and able to be trained for combat. She had already received some light training in the area, but it was only small, physical combat stuff; nothing that could really support her in a battlefield with traps set and spells blazing. Just the thought of Vivio even entering a battlefield at the same age as her mothers made Lutecia shudder.

“Cia?”

“Sorry, I was just thinking.” She shook it off, then grinned. “But that’s great news! You must be excited.”

“I am! I’m a little nervous, since apparently the personality has been programmed and everything.” Vivio fidgeted. “I hope he or she likes me.”

“I’m sure they will, Vivio. It’s hard to not like you.”

Vivio giggled at the compliment; she leaned back in her chair, satisfied that her excitement in the news had somehow drifted through the screen and infected her friend. The lull in conversation allowed Lutecia’s exhaustion to momentarily catch up with her mind, and she muffled a yawn behind her hand.

“Are you coming home tomorrow?”

“If it all works out. I should be home by about…. Um… I want to say noon Mid-Childan time.”

“Oh, so you’ll be home after I get my Device! Cool, I’ll bring him or her over and show you!”

“Sounds like a plan.” Lutecia was distracted by another yawn. “I’m sorry, Vi…”

“Yeah, I know.” Vivio smiled sheepishly. “I should be the one apologizing, since I woke you up and all.”

“It’s okay. I’m glad you told me.” The older girl smiled sleepily. “You’ll have to tell me more about it when I get home.”

“I will.” Vivio nodded, then hesitated for a moment before she spoke again, softly. “Cia?”

“Yeah?”

The younger girl smiled at her friend. “Sweet dreams.”

Lutecia chuckled again; her eyes softened. “Sweet dreams. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? It’s a promise.”

“Okay.”

The call ended then, with another soft beep to indicate the line being cut; the holoscreen powered down and Lutecia sighed sleepily, grabbing her pillow back from Miranda’s hair and setting it down, resting against it.

She was asleep in an instant, lulled by Miranda’s soft breathing.

Spoiler for Author's Notes:

1. Yes, Lutecia and Miranda are sharing a bed on this mission. The main thought behind that is the room only had one bed, and it's not like sleeping together like this after a mission is a big deal for either of them. Mostly, I just did it for the pillow gag.

2. I don't know how clearly it comes across, but I did want to make it kind of obvious that to some extent, Vivio looks up to Lutecia. It's sort of hard to portray, especially since in actual canon they don't seem to have a very close relationship, at least not as I think of it compared to Shadowverse. I did try to get across te fact that Vivio enjoys Lutecia's company, both as a friend and as a cool older girl, but I don't know how well it came across.

3. Vivio gets a Device at ten, because it happens in canon. I also think Dezo mentioned in at least one of his Shadowverse Vivio-centered shorts that she got Burning Glory at ten.

The title....I love it . Loaded phrase, yet knowing that this is pre-ViCia immediately had me thinking about what the title could mean, and so I laughed in delight when I saw why .

I liked the bit about Lutecia considering blocking the call anyway even though she knew it was from Vivio--I'm sure anyone can relate to the experience of debating being a jerk when they really don't want to talk . It was a nice character moment for Lutecia there, and also when she eventually decides to take the call after all .

The whole scene of Miranda and Lutecia smacking each other around while half-asleep had me giggling . You can really see that they've been spending too much time with each other .

I found that Vivio's reactions and speaking with Lutecia made me think more of two good friends, and not as much about admiration. I'd imagine that if Vivio admired Lutecia she'd really care about Lutecia's reactions and praise, and yet you jumped past moments where you could have showed that (for instance, when Lutecia congratulates Vivio for doing well on a test Vivio's next reaction isn't blushing or being pleased that Lutecia praised her, but instead jumped to being happy that her parents were proud). So while I definitely got a great friendship feel between them (hey, actually waking up to pick up a call that wasn't urgent really shows friendship! ) I didn't quite get as much of the "admiring my older friend" feel you were trying for .

Originally Posted by Rising Dragon

Sometimes its the little things that inspire a fic... like a lesbian's training wheels.

LOL, yes . Yuuno sure is a woman's best friend .

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

I guess I'll have to make it more clear in the one-shot that Lutecia and Miranda sleeping together like that is something they're doing because they have to, and not for any other reason.

I personally got that it was platonic. It was actually kind of funny/cute in my opinion , imagining the two of them as such good friends/comrades that they can collapse into bed together after a long mission and smack each other around while half-asleep without feel guilty about it .

But a bit of extra description setting up why they were in bed in the first place and how they got there together, wouldn't be amiss ^^.

[Tiresias]

Originally Posted by Fuyu no Sora

Also, I love your avatar. From where is it?

Hmm, the double-griffin? Dragon Age.

Originally Posted by deathcurse

LOL, sorry . Not saying it won't ever happen, but I really don't need another plot-bunny right now .

Nonsense. You can never have enough bunnies.

'Tis fine. I can wait for the return of Our Dark Mistress of Tragedy in patience

Originally Posted by 00-Raiser

Spoiler for Desperate Measures:

“Stalking, Nanoha-chan. It’s called stalking.”

Yipes.

Sometimes people must be reminded of all the midnight calls, wiretapping and every other form of privacy-intrusion before they realize that stalking is not romantic.

That goes for you too, sparkly! Especially you!!

[WarpObscura]

Originally Posted by 00-Raiser

So I don't sound like I'm only picking on yuri, Warp Obscura's Reinforce/Yuuno stories have the same problem. The first one he did had them married so it was rather confusing. I've told him a few times he needs to go back to the beginning and show just how they got to that point.

I freely admit to leaping headlong into the pairing with only the flimsiest NSFW reasons for it.

[Eagle8819]

Originally Posted by Moczo

Don't apologize. I just finished and it was an amazing piece. My ff.net review goes more into detail.

... though I can't help but say, the warning to put away the yuri goggles made me laugh in hindsight, because I found the LesYay so thick no goggles were needed to spot it. XD

Weeeell....that suggestion was because I usually make the LesYay stuff a lot more...explicit. On the other hand, it's hardly even any close to anything like that here. (I would also say it's a well-placed warning, because a friend threw an internet pebble at me and made D: faces when she read and found out there's no real NF scenes that went beyond what was there... )

And while I decided that romance simply had no place in the story, well, that didn't mean I would do away with 7 Arcs shipteasing-style completely.

Originally Posted by Moczo

You set-up the entire scene of the short to get a single pillow-fight gag out?

... ... ...

I approve.

Seconded!

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by deathcurse

I found that Vivio's reactions and speaking with Lutecia made me think more of two good friends, and not as much about admiration. I'd imagine that if Vivio admired Lutecia she'd really care about Lutecia's reactions and praise, and yet you jumped past moments where you could have showed that (for instance, when Lutecia congratulates Vivio for doing well on a test Vivio's next reaction isn't blushing or being pleased that Lutecia praised her, but instead jumped to being happy that her parents were proud). So while I definitely got a great friendship feel between them (hey, actually waking up to pick up a call that wasn't urgent really shows friendship! ) I didn't quite get as much of the "admiring my older friend" feel you were trying for .

Yeah, when I went back and reread it I figured I probably missed that intention by like a mile. Mostly because I'm not completely sure if I want to sort of show a younger Vivio as looking up to Lutecia, or if I want to show it as a more "equal" good friendship where they get along well together in spite of the age difference.

[GonzoTheAnimeFan]

Don't mind me if you don't need to. But I needed to make sure I'm on the right track with a Nanoha fanfic I'm writing. It's kinda dark, but it's about Lindy finding out how a sudden rapist might be trying to abuse Fate and she devise a way to kill him. In it, I'm also trying to put pressure on her by being compared in motherly duties as Precia.

Spoiler for The Snippet of the Fanfic in Question:

“That'll be all,” she grunted, and the screen disappeared. She really doesn't wanted to be reminded of the horrible person who gave birth to Fate, or in those woman's eyes, created Fate as a tool for her needs.

That heartless, cruel being.

With a voice that spoke no remorse or even praise to Fate.

And ice-cold glares of a selfish, greedy mad scientist.

Those have came back to haunt the poor admiral. It's been years since the Precia Testarossa incident, yet the cold-hearted nature still exists in her mind as if it happened yesterday. What's even worse is how, somehow, her parenting of Fate is compared to Precia's twisted way, now that she thinks about it. Those thoughts began to test her very sanity.

She thought she lost her mind after one thought crossed it. When it came down to it, Precia lost her daughter and she wanted her back by any means. Lindy would one-up her by preventing losing her daughter to such a man. By any means.

It's evident her sanity has long departed and anger has also affected her now. It's been a while that anger has done this. It was sometime after Clyde's death, the death of her husband, when no investigation was held as to the cause. She was frightfully furious, and no one dared to upset her any worse by punishing her.

Oh well, at least now it's for Fate. For her sake. She's alive, and she has friends supporting her. Lindy has to ensure it stays that way. She's too mad to turn back, anyway.

Creative and positive comments welcomed. Thanks!

[blissfullyunaware]

I finally got around to reading Circuit Clout. Full review on FF.net.

Random question about fan fiction in general. Do you guys know of any particular phase that gets so overused it actually makes you cringe when you read it? Mine happens to "he/she/ they couldn't help but..."
I read part of a really bad story that had that phase in every other paragraph...scarred me for life. If it only occurs a few times in a piece than that is fine (for example, Eagle uses it several time in Circuit Clout and it is a wonderfully written story, the phrase doesn't hinder the emotion), but the more I read it the more I am reminded of nails on a chalk board. Ever experience anything like that?

[sniperk]

I can't say that I have a specific phrase or snippet, but one thing that I definetelly don't like, (specially when I'm writing) is reading the names of the character over and over again. Things such "Nanoha did <something>" and then in the next phrase, still refering to 'Nanoha' it starts "Nanoha looked at <something>". If it one or two times it's okay and all, but when it's used several times in the same paragraph, it get's annoying as hell.

When writing, I like to used descriptions and pronoums as much as possible (tough sometimes people call me on it because of the sheer vagueness that they don't know who I'm talking about), and when reading a fic that rely solely on the character name without describing him/her at all, I get the feeling that I'm reading something out of RPG or Visual Novel.

It doesn't need to be all the time too, but the repeating of the character name is my main gripe when reading. But in my case, as in yours, there's exceptions.

[Moczo]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

Yeah, when I went back and reread it I figured I probably missed that intention by like a mile. Mostly because I'm not completely sure if I want to sort of show a younger Vivio as looking up to Lutecia, or if I want to show it as a more "equal" good friendship where they get along well together in spite of the age difference.

Actually, for your purposes (the friendship growing into a relationship as they get older), the 'equal friendship' might work better. Or at least, it seems to me that Vivio looking up to Cia as the 'cool older girl' is behavior that would make Lutecia see her as more of a surrogate baby sister than a friend. 'Friend' can turn into lover pretty naturally; 'surrogate family' not as much. Does this make sense?

[yuiseppe]

Originally Posted by blissfullyunaware

I finally got around to reading Circuit Clout. Full review on FF.net.

Random question about fan fiction in general. Do you guys know of any particular phase that gets so overused it actually makes you cringe when you read it? Mine happens to "he/she/ they couldn't help but..."
I read part of a really bad story that had that phase in every other paragraph...scarred me for life. If it only occurs a few times in a piece than that is fine (for example, Eagle uses it several time in Circuit Clout and it is a wonderfully written story, the phrase doesn't hinder the emotion), but the more I read it the more I am reminded of nails on a chalk board. Ever experience anything like that?

Not exactly a phrase per se, but any pseudo-Japanese phrases (other than actual speech in Japanese by a character that legitimately has a reason to speak Japanese) raises my hackles faster than a turtle strapped to a burning rocket.

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by Moczo

Actually, for your purposes (the friendship growing into a relationship as they get older), the 'equal friendship' might work better. Or at least, it seems to me that Vivio looking up to Cia as the 'cool older girl' is behavior that would make Lutecia see her as more of a surrogate baby sister than a friend. 'Friend' can turn into lover pretty naturally; 'surrogate family' not as much. Does this make sense?

Yeah, I think I get what you're saying. I originally sort of batted around the idea of 'cool older girl' because I liked the thought of it being a sort of small, nagging guilt in the back of Lutecia's mind, that Vivio looked up to her so much when she did so many not so nice things. But going that angle would probably make the family bond stronger between them and make Lutecia less inclined to view Vivio as a romantic partner, compared to them just being good friends who happen to have an age difference.

EDIT: @Dezo: I noted your comments and edited the short, replacing Rio with Corona since I managed to mix that up. I also added an additional line to show why Miranda and Lutecia were sleeping together, but I don't know if it adds to the flow of the one-shot or hinders it.

[Moczo]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

Yeah, I think I get what you're saying. I originally sort of batted around the idea of 'cool older girl' because I liked the thought of it being a sort of small, nagging guilt in the back of Lutecia's mind, that Vivio looked up to her so much when she did so many not so nice things. But going that angle would probably make the family bond stronger between them and make Lutecia less inclined to view Vivio as a romantic partner, compared to them just being good friends who happen to have an age difference.

EDIT: @Dezo: I noted your comments and edited the short, replacing Rio with Corona since I managed to mix that up. I also added an additional line to show why Miranda and Lutecia were sleeping together, but I don't know if it adds to the flow of the one-shot or hinders it.

Good, good. I was worried for a second there because I'm not 100% sure how you wanted their early relationship to have developed. But it seems poor Cia has enough issues to overcome without making her romance faux-incestuous.

[deathcurse]

Originally Posted by Moczo

Good, good. I was worried for a second there because I'm not 100% sure how you wanted their early relationship to have developed. But it seems poor Cia has enough issues to overcome without making her romance faux-incestuous.

Heh, I agree . Poor Lutecia!

It's neat to see them as equal friends despite the age-gap too, since it both shows Vivio's maturity and also shows Lutecia's character in how she clearly respects people based on their personality and thoughts, rather than their age or rank .

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by Moczo

But it seems poor Cia has enough issues to overcome without making her romance faux-incestuous.

Oh yes, I have no intention of touching that particular issue with a ten foot pole. It's bad enough that I already have Rain dealing with true sister incest between Rin and Sakura, I don't need to worry about emotional incest in Shadowverse.

[Moczo]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

Oh yes, I have no intention of touching that particular issue with a ten foot pole. It's bad enough that I already have Rain dealing with true sister incest between Rin and Sakura, I don't need to worry about emotional incest in Shadowverse.

Cia has enough emotional scars without it, I think.

Plus, it saves you an extensive rewrite of this story, which is not bad perk on its own. XD