Nanoha FanFiction Discussion

[synaesthetic]

Oh, I shall, I shall.

It may be a bit more realistic, and people may actually die when they get killed befriended, but that doesn't mean it won't be awesome.

Currently plotting just how much of Yomi Isayama I want Miyuki to channel... *grin*

[Kaijo]

Originally Posted by synaesthetic

Except in MGLN, magic isn't magic, it's technology. Magic A is Magic A.

Setting phasers Devices to stun shouldn't raze the cityscape as a result.

They'd call it technology then. :P

But if you wanna go there, then the skilled high rank mages can reprogram their magic on the fly, or set various parameters for different types of the same spells. Science is full of stuff that reacts differently to different substances.

In a sense, if you have a high enough technology base to where you can modify individual atoms or particles of a wave, you can program how they react. I can program a whole wide range of If/then statements, full of variables to be filled upon the activation of a spell! =)

But this is all just fun theorycrafting.^^

[Thunderbird]

Originally Posted by synaesthetic

Except in MGLN, magic isn't magic, it's technology. Magic A is Magic A.

Setting phasers Devices to stun shouldn't raze the cityscape as a result.

I wonder if it was just this one article or if it was really how it is, but I recall reading somewhere in the local paper that Magic in the Nanoverse was supposed to be non-lethal? That's why they banned Physical weapons in order to just "knock out" the enemy. I do understand though...doesn't quite make sense when the same spell made to "knock your opponent out" can be used to "level 3 city blocks" lol

[MeisterBabylon]

"I totally did not understand that. But what the heck, I'll do things how I've always done; ZENRYOKU ZENKAI! "

~~ Every Shounen Blockhead Hero since ever.

[isagrimorie]

*pokes head into discussion* Out of curiosity, do you think edged weapons are more lethal than the beam spam magics? We know it can be lethal, witness Signum and Zest and the numerous times Signum and Fate cut each other using their respective swords.

Does it mean the sword users have to be extra in control to prevent themselves from killing the other person?

(And, boy, do I really, really want the manga to 'illustrate' a full scale Signum vs. Fate battle. I bet its a different type of battle from the Signum vs. Nanoha one we saw in the Striker S manga but no less intense.)

[MeisterBabylon]

Originally Posted by Thunderbird

I wonder if it was just this one article or if it was really how it is, but I recall reading somewhere in the local paper that Magic in the Nanoverse was supposed to be non-lethal? That's why they banned Physical weapons in order to just "knock out" the enemy. I do understand though...doesn't quite make sense when the same spell made to "knock your opponent out" can be used to "level 3 city blocks" lol

@Thunder: That's an old theory in the tech thread. It's been changed it's wording slightly:

Scientific conventional weapons only kill. Not only that, conventional weapons (I prefer this nomenclature rather than "scientific", especially when magic is a science) have dramatically higher yields but are capable of only indiscriminate death and destruction.

Magic was allowed because it has a stun setting, is lower in damage yield (3 blocks versus cities or planets) and is much more easily regulated. It also allows the ones in power (the Bureau) to retain their power projection abilities while appeasing the people's great wariness for war, which had lasted millenia before TSAB came to power.

There are still some exceptions to the rule though. TSAB ships are still armed with conventional weapons as evidenced by the Arc. It's quite possible that TSAB vehicles are except since the number of mages needed to power them is not sufficient.

[DKN117]

...Yeah, it's me again. After storming out of the forum last week, I actually went back and looked at my older posts and... well, shame has filled me. Not just at my replies to people's criticisms, but also that, now that I'm not in Defensive Fanboy Mode, I can see just how much suckage (ESPECIALLY the Nanoha/Negima fic) my ideas really had - I fell victim to these two Tropes:

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OldShame
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.ph...n.SturgeonsLaw

Now that I've calmed down, I wish to sincerely apologize for my previous conduct. I was way outta line back there (I also have a bad habit of taking EVERYTHING personally; just ask my mother, my sister, my friends, my college professors, my driving instructor...). And I probably... okay, definitely didn't think before I spoke... er, "typed". I'm not going to try posting any full-fledged new ideas, since I don't want you all to suffer from my poorer ones while I slowly, painstakingly learn how to do it right.

I will now post the rest of my fic ideas that I am now abandoning as lost causes; feel free to make comments as you wish, and I'll spend five minutes thinking after I read each one before I even THINK of posting a reply. Fire away; I can take it!

Spoiler for Teana & Modern Warfare 2:

The idea with Teana making that uncharacteristic speech was mostly caused because I was still in a fanboyish "OMFG So F*cking Awesome!!" mood after Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2, specifically Captain Price's EPIC speech at the beginning of the level "Just Like Old Times" in response to LtGen. Shepherd's betrayal.

Though the fic would've ended with... well, I'll let Vice explain it: "So let me get this straight: Teana pulled a knife out of her own f*cking chest, threw it into the bad-guy's neck, and while he's scrambling to stop the blood flow she grabbed his dropped revolver and, even though the gun has huge recoil and she was half-dead, managed to shoot him in the head with enough accuracy that the bullet entered his skull through the exact center of his eye? ...HOLY SH*T".

Spoiler for NanoHalo:

The Nanoha/Halo crossover, the one where Teana joined the UNSC... well, I actually had faith in that one at first. My reasoning was that Teana was sick and tired of feeling left behind (power-wise) and weak in comparison to the rest of Riot Force 6, and when fighting alongside the ODST's she was one of the most powerful and skilled members of the group, and thus no longer felt weak and useless. She would also hope that helping to end a 28-year war would "bring honor to the Lanstar name". I also would've revealed eventually that Al-Hazred was a planet, and had a Forerunner structure built on it... on top of something even older... But now I see that this fic, too, was a bust.

Spoiler for Fate vs. Precia:

A third now-dropped idea was where Precia somehow came back at some point 5-7 months after the Book Of Darkness Incident, causing more trouble for the Nano-gang while looking for "a new, mysterious Lost Logia" that could revive Alicia. Precia had new "allies" in this (the Logia is one of a set; her allies want the others, in exchange for letting her keep the one she needs). At one point in the story, Nanoha takes a bad hit from one of the "allies" (his name here is "(REDACTED)", cause I never thought of a name) and plummets to the ground unconscious. She survives. However, Fate A) doesn't know that Nanoha survives, and B) thinks that Precia fired the shot that hit her. The result:

Spoiler for Berserk Fate:

Precia had seen the light fade from Fate's eyes. She'd sensed as Fate's mind became clouded and consumed by sorrow... which then transformed into the most powerful, blinding anger she'd ever felt. She'd seen as Fate's face twisted into a look of such all-encompasing rage that Precia had "almost" felt a slight twinge of nervousness and... fear?

Less than 30 seconds after that, Precia had felt as her strongest shield began to fracture and give way to the incessantly-pressing blade of golden energy, the yellow and violet light reflecting off Fate's dead-eyed, fangs-bared, fury-stricken face. She'd felt as the blade broke though, and then had felt the screaming pain across her midsection. She'd felt as her own blood began to flow freely from the large gash now across her stomach.

Precia had watched as Fate spun and the massive blade came around again. She had moved her head back as quickly as she could to avoid, but had still felt the slashing pain as the sword sliced across her face. She'd seen the blade come around yet again, and felt as it nearly hacked all the way through her leg. She'd watched as Fate brought her sword to swing down from overhead. Precia had felt herself pushed downward, and with her last several seconds of consciousness looked up as the sword struck (REDACTED)'s arm, slicing it clean off; she'd felt his blood spatter down on her, and seen the detached limb plummet to the ground below, before she lost consciousness.

Now, as Precia lay in a bed in her "allies" base's medical bay, she looked in the ceiling-mounted mirror; looked at the large, fresh scar that ran clear across her torso. Looked at the accompanying scar the marred her right cheek and part of her nose. Looked at where her leg had been put back together. And as she looked, she thought of her once-obedient little doll, the clone of her Alicia, and how she had changed when she'd thought that the white-clad girl had been killed by her. The former puppet had turned against her former master. The tool had struck at its wielder. Precia's mind focused on the one unescapable, undeniable fact:

Fate had tried to kill her.
And were it not for (REDACTED)'s intereference, she would've succeeded.

What would Precia's thought processes have led to after making this revelation? ...Alas, it is too late now.

Spoiler for Nanoha's New Technique:

ANOTHER idea was but a single scene, which I didn't even think of what it would be part of. Another Precia-comes-back fic, again set not too long after the Book-Of-Darkness Incident. At this point of the timeline, Fate had never actually told Nanoha about all the abuse Precia put her through. But then... Nanoha found out. It resulted in this:

Spoiler for G-Gundam Shout-Out:

NANOHA: "You... monster... Your own flesh-and-blood... YOU!! You made her suffer! You're the reason she always seems so sad, why I always see such pain in her eyes! You... you hurt my Fate-chan!!"
(Precia notices the LARGE amount of magical energy gathering around/in Nanoha and looks slightly nervous)
NANOHA: "This is... unforgivable... Raising Heart!"
RH: "Let's get her, My Master!" (starts to glow with magical energy)
NANOHA: "This staff of mine... glows with an awesome power! It's burning gem calls out for me to defeat you!"
RH: "Set Up: Buster Blade" (Nanoha holds RH high, and the Device transforms into a Bardiche-Zanbar-like golden-hilted blade of pink-and-white magical energy)
NANOHA: "Now... take this! Our love... her sorrow... and all of my anger!! SHINING... BUSTER... SWORD!!!"

I have no idea how I could've made this work, but it just seemed too damn awesome not to make. A shame... And I wanted to make Chrono have a shoutout to Master Asia, too...

Lastly, though this isn't a fic idea, I wanted to explain my personal view on ki/chakra and magic, and their relation to each other.

Spoiler for Relation of Ki and Magic:

In my fic 'verses, there are two types of "combat energy", internal and external. Internal is, of course, ki (you could also call it qi, chi, or chakra, depending on choice), drawn from the body's own energy stores and converted into combat-useful forcer
External energy, meanwhile, is Magic. Magic is ever-present in the universe as an ambient force that exists everywhere. A mage gathers this energy and uses it. It must first be channeled through the user's body (a Linker Core allows & assists in this channeling) before then being used in a combat-usable state.
Magic & Ki/Chakra are somewhat opposed; while a person can technically use both at once (say, using ki to fly, cling to walls, or stand on water, while casting magic with their hands or a device), combining the two is extremely difficult, and a large concentration of untamed/un-harnessed ki inside a person's body makes it difficult to channel any significant amount of magic. In my Teana fics, Teana has a LARGE amount of natural ki that she was never taught how to use, thus allowing it to form a constant unfocused presence in her body, disrupting her ability to use any appreciable amount of magic without causing herself severe strain, and utterly incapable of reaching the levels of magic that Nanoha, Fate, & Hayate can. Proper training on how to access her ki/chakra would, in addition to rapidly establishing her as a powerful ki-user, also allow her to more easily channel/use large amounts of magical energy.

Again, I DEEPLY apologize for all my previous conduct here. The fic ideas mentioned above have all been dropped for fear of falling victim again to Sturgeon's Law. That being said, I have no problems with you all critiquing them and picking out every single flaw, and will actually THINK before responding to anything said in reply to this all. Go ahead.

[Thunderbird]

Originally Posted by MeisterBabylon

@Thunder: That's an old theory in the tech thread. It's been changed it's wording slightly:

Scientific conventional weapons only kill. Not only that, conventional weapons (I prefer this nomenclature rather than "scientific", especially when magic is a science) have dramatically higher yields but are capable of only indiscriminate death and destruction.

Magic was allowed because it has a stun setting, is lower in damage yield (3 blocks versus cities or planets) and is much more easily regulated. It also allows the ones in power (the Bureau) to retain their power projection abilities while appeasing the people's great wariness for war, which had lasted millenia before TSAB came to power.

There are still some exceptions to the rule though. TSAB ships are still armed with conventional weapons as evidenced by the Arc. It's quite possible that TSAB vehicles are except since the number of mages needed to power them is not sufficient.

Ah thanks for the clarification, saves me the trouble of having to go through all my old magazines to find that exact post (seeing as its been going since 2004 that's a lot of digging T.T)

[synaesthetic]

My understanding was that the Arc is a magical cannon and the TSAB doesn't maintain kinetic or conventional energy weapons at all, since their entire tech base is built on magic as a power source (rather than solar/nuclear/petrochemical).

This is kind of offtopic though.

[LoweGear]

Originally Posted by MeisterBabylon

There are still some exceptions to the rule though. TSAB ships are still armed with conventional weapons as evidenced by the Arc.

The Arc-En-Ciel is classed as a "Magic Cannon" though. Just that unlike most other magic spells, the Arc does not have a "stun" setting, being a space-time distortion weapon And yes, this is going off-topic

[OZ7UP]

Originally Posted by DKN117

...Yeah, it's me again. After storming out of the forum last week, I actually went back and looked at my older posts and... well, shame has filled me. Not just at my replies to people's criticisms, but also that, now that I'm not in Defensive Fanboy Mode, I can see just how much suckage (ESPECIALLY the Nanoha/Negima fic) my ideas really had - I fell victim to these two Tropes:

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OldShame
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.ph...n.SturgeonsLaw

Now that I've calmed down, I wish to sincerely apologize for my previous conduct. I was way outta line back there (I also have a bad habit of taking EVERYTHING personally; just ask my mother, my sister, my friends, my college professors, my driving instructor...). And I probably... okay, definitely didn't think before I spoke... er, "typed". I'm not going to try posting any full-fledged new ideas, since I don't want you all to suffer from my poorer ones while I slowly, painstakingly learn how to do it right.

I will now post the rest of my fic ideas that I am now abandoning as lost causes; feel free to make comments as you wish, and I'll spend five minutes thinking after I read each one before I even THINK of posting a reply. Fire away; I can take it!

While I'm not too sure about the others here, I would like to give you credit for finally admitting your short-comings. Not that I'm rubbing it in or anything like that - I know what it's like, especially after a two-year stint in the military. I'm still not proud of what I did back in July 2008 - what I did was mainly driven by rage that was similar to yours, but it didn't excuse what I did, and I was lucky enough to escape with a "If I see you in life-threatening trouble outside in the civilian world, I'll just sit back and watch you get killed" warning.

Seriously. But that's a story that I'll never give the full details of, not even in PMs.

Back on topic now. The best way to go about writing a story and making it better is to actually go out there and write a story. Just giving the plot bunnies is not enough. Sure, you'll have some idea of what people would really like to see and what they don't want to see, but it doesn't exactly help in your writing abilities. Just write. If you're feeling unconfident about something, send a PM to someone for advice on how to carry out a particular plot. If you're doing any cross-overs, find someone with a working knowledge on the other franchise/series. My best bet? Look for JimmyC. Not that I've actually talked to him myself, but he does know a thing or two about whether particular parts of a story make sense or not.

Spoiler for Teana & Modern Warfare 2:

The idea with Teana making that uncharacteristic speech was mostly caused because I was still in a fanboyish "OMFG So F*cking Awesome!!" mood after Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2, specifically Captain Price's EPIC speech at the beginning of the level "Just Like Old Times" in response to LtGen. Shepherd's betrayal.

Though the fic would've ended with... well, I'll let Vice explain it: "So let me get this straight: Teana pulled a knife out of her own f*cking chest, threw it into the bad-guy's neck, and while he's scrambling to stop the blood flow she grabbed his dropped revolver and, even though the gun has huge recoil and she was half-dead, managed to shoot him in the head with enough accuracy that the bullet entered his skull through the exact center of his eye? ...HOLY SH*T".

Spoiler for NanoHalo:

The Nanoha/Halo crossover, the one where Teana joined the UNSC... well, I actually had faith in that one at first. My reasoning was that Teana was sick and tired of feeling left behind (power-wise) and weak in comparison to the rest of Riot Force 6, and when fighting alongside the ODST's she was one of the most powerful and skilled members of the group, and thus no longer felt weak and useless. She would also hope that helping to end a 28-year war would "bring honor to the Lanstar name". I also would've revealed eventually that Al-Hazred was a planet, and had a Forerunner structure built on it... on top of something even older... But now I see that this fic, too, was a bust.

Spoiler for Fate vs. Precia:

A third now-dropped idea was where Precia somehow came back at some point 5-7 months after the Book Of Darkness Incident, causing more trouble for the Nano-gang while looking for "a new, mysterious Lost Logia" that could revive Alicia. Precia had new "allies" in this (the Logia is one of a set; her allies want the others, in exchange for letting her keep the one she needs). At one point in the story, Nanoha takes a bad hit from one of the "allies" (his name here is "(REDACTED)", cause I never thought of a name) and plummets to the ground unconscious. She survives. However, Fate A) doesn't know that Nanoha survives, and B) thinks that Precia fired the shot that hit her. The result:

Spoiler for Berserk Fate:

Precia had seen the light fade from Fate's eyes. She'd sensed as Fate's mind became clouded and consumed by sorrow... which then transformed into the most powerful, blinding anger she'd ever felt. She'd seen as Fate's face twisted into a look of such all-encompasing rage that Precia had "almost" felt a slight twinge of nervousness and... fear?

Less than 30 seconds after that, Precia had felt as her strongest shield began to fracture and give way to the incessantly-pressing blade of golden energy, the yellow and violet light reflecting off Fate's dead-eyed, fangs-bared, fury-stricken face. She'd felt as the blade broke though, and then had felt the screaming pain across her midsection. She'd felt as her own blood began to flow freely from the large gash now across her stomach.

Precia had watched as Fate spun and the massive blade came around again. She had moved her head back as quickly as she could to avoid, but had still felt the slashing pain as the sword sliced across her face. She'd seen the blade come around yet again, and felt as it nearly hacked all the way through her leg. She'd watched as Fate brought her sword to swing down from overhead. Precia had felt herself pushed downward, and with her last several seconds of consciousness looked up as the sword struck (REDACTED)'s arm, slicing it clean off; she'd felt his blood spatter down on her, and seen the detached limb plummet to the ground below, before she lost consciousness.

Now, as Precia lay in a bed in her "allies" base's medical bay, she looked in the ceiling-mounted mirror; looked at the large, fresh scar that ran clear across her torso. Looked at the accompanying scar the marred her right cheek and part of her nose. Looked at where her leg had been put back together. And as she looked, she thought of her once-obedient little doll, the clone of her Alicia, and how she had changed when she'd thought that the white-clad girl had been killed by her. The former puppet had turned against her former master. The tool had struck at its wielder. Precia's mind focused on the one unescapable, undeniable fact:

Fate had tried to kill her.
And were it not for (REDACTED)'s intereference, she would've succeeded.

What would Precia's thought processes have led to after making this revelation? ...Alas, it is too late now.

Spoiler for Nanoha's New Technique:

ANOTHER idea was but a single scene, which I didn't even think of what it would be part of. Another Precia-comes-back fic, again set not too long after the Book-Of-Darkness Incident. At this point of the timeline, Fate had never actually told Nanoha about all the abuse Precia put her through. But then... Nanoha found out. It resulted in this:

Spoiler for G-Gundam Shout-Out:

NANOHA: "You... monster... Your own flesh-and-blood... YOU!! You made her suffer! You're the reason she always seems so sad, why I always see such pain in her eyes! You... you hurt my Fate-chan!!"
(Precia notices the LARGE amount of magical energy gathering around/in Nanoha and looks slightly nervous)
NANOHA: "This is... unforgivable... Raising Heart!"
RH: "Let's get her, My Master!" (starts to glow with magical energy)
NANOHA: "This staff of mine... glows with an awesome power! It's burning gem calls out for me to defeat you!"
RH: "Set Up: Buster Blade" (Nanoha holds RH high, and the Device transforms into a Bardiche-Zanbar-like golden-hilted blade of pink-and-white magical energy)
NANOHA: "Now... take this! Our love... her sorrow... and all of my anger!! SHINING... BUSTER... SWORD!!!"

I have no idea how I could've made this work, but it just seemed too damn awesome not to make. A shame... And I wanted to make Chrono have a shoutout to Master Asia, too...

These are pretty decent ideas, but yeah, I suppose the reason why the others didn't really seem to like the ones with Teana was because she probably was OOC. Yes, she was, and still is, determined to redeem the Lanster name, but I just can't see her doing the things in your fic ideas, as cool as it may seem in your mind. The first one in particular is definitely a huge no-no; you're practically wiping out the Lanster family from the MGLN universe. The Halo-crossover works best if Teana actually came to accept her magical shortcomings BEFORE StrikerS.

I did find the ideas involving Precia Testarossa to be pretty decent. My only advice? Just write something. It doesn't matter whether you write a full chapter, an one-shot, or a snippet like what Satashi usually does when he/she is feeling mischievous, just write something as long as it's not in an idea format.

I'd pay to see Raising Heart in a broadsword form, though.

Lastly, though this isn't a fic idea, I wanted to explain my personal view on ki/chakra and magic, and their relation to each other.

Spoiler for Relation of Ki and Magic:

In my fic 'verses, there are two types of "combat energy", internal and external. Internal is, of course, ki (you could also call it qi, chi, or chakra, depending on choice), drawn from the body's own energy stores and converted into combat-useful forcer
External energy, meanwhile, is Magic. Magic is ever-present in the universe as an ambient force that exists everywhere. A mage gathers this energy and uses it. It must first be channeled through the user's body (a Linker Core allows & assists in this channeling) before then being used in a combat-usable state.
Magic & Ki/Chakra are somewhat opposed; while a person can technically use both at once (say, using ki to fly, cling to walls, or stand on water, while casting magic with their hands or a device), combining the two is extremely difficult, and a large concentration of untamed/un-harnessed ki inside a person's body makes it difficult to channel any significant amount of magic. In my Teana fics, Teana has a LARGE amount of natural ki that she was never taught how to use, thus allowing it to form a constant unfocused presence in her body, disrupting her ability to use any appreciable amount of magic without causing herself severe strain, and utterly incapable of reaching the levels of magic that Nanoha, Fate, & Hayate can. Proper training on how to access her ki/chakra would, in addition to rapidly establishing her as a powerful ki-user, also allow her to more easily channel/use large amounts of magical energy.

It's a pretty interesting theory. I'd like to see something come out of this.

Again, I DEEPLY apologize for all my previous conduct here. The fic ideas mentioned above have all been dropped for fear of falling victim again to Sturgeon's Law. That being said, I have no problems with you all critiquing them and picking out every single flaw, and will actually THINK before responding to anything said in reply to this all. Go ahead.

Once again, while I'm not too sure about the others, I accept your apology. If you are honestly sincere about thinking things through before responding, then I can only say that I anticipate some of your stories in the near future. If you need some assistance in writing something, send me a PM.

One final note: sometimes, crazy works. While I haven't really received that many in-thread responses, my MGLN/Pride & Prejudice crossover generally has been turning heads in a positive manner.

[MeisterBabylon]

Originally Posted by synaesthetic

My understanding was that the Arc is a magical cannon and the TSAB doesn't maintain kinetic or conventional energy weapons at all, since their entire tech base is built on magic as a power source (rather than solar/nuclear/petrochemical).

This is kind of offtopic though.

Originally Posted by LoweGear

The Arc-En-Ciel is classed as a "Magic Cannon" though. Just that unlike most other magic spells, the Arc does not have a "stun" setting, being a space-time distortion weapon And yes, this is going off-topic

Oops...

Okay I'll revise:

The TSAB used to have a purely-magical arsenal, with some individuals (like Runessa) allowed conventional weapons after making said operative jump through loads of loops.

But the Jail Incident (and the fanon civil war that followed) exposed a flaw in that idealistic thinking. Amongst the many revisions of the armed forces thereafter were the relaxing of conventional weapons rules and the wider adoption of advanced moderate yield conventional weapons similar to the pulse weapons and concussion missile pods the Gadgets were armed with.

This however paved the way for more hawkish Bureaucrats to push their pet projects, like walking elephant tanks and orbital Einherjars (more accurately called Ion Cannons)...

<All these are fanon extension though. Pardon if it's a bit off-topic; since it's relevant to most of my fics set after StrikerS, I thought it would go here. >

[AdmiralTigerclaw]

Don't forget our high performance fighters and awesome powered armor exoskeletons!

[MeisterBabylon]

...yes I never forgot the Barracudas, Tigersharks, and Crisis battlesuits piloted by cyborg warriors.

[Alavon]

Originally Posted by DKN117

...Yeah, it's me again. After storming out of the forum last week, I actually went back and looked at my older posts and... well, shame has filled me. Not just at my replies to people's criticisms, but also that, now that I'm not in Defensive Fanboy Mode, I can see just how much suckage (ESPECIALLY the Nanoha/Negima fic) my ideas really had - I fell victim to these two Tropes:

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OldShame
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.ph...n.SturgeonsLaw

Now that I've calmed down, I wish to sincerely apologize for my previous conduct. I was way outta line back there (I also have a bad habit of taking EVERYTHING personally; just ask my mother, my sister, my friends, my college professors, my driving instructor...). And I probably... okay, definitely didn't think before I spoke... er, "typed". I'm not going to try posting any full-fledged new ideas, since I don't want you all to suffer from my poorer ones while I slowly, painstakingly learn how to do it right.

I'm glad you calmed down.

Originally Posted by DKN117

I will now post the rest of my fic ideas that I am now abandoning as lost causes; feel free to make comments as you wish, and I'll spend five minutes thinking after I read each one before I even THINK of posting a reply. Fire away; I can take it!

Spoiler for Teana & Modern Warfare 2:

The idea with Teana making that uncharacteristic speech was mostly caused because I was still in a fanboyish "OMFG So F*cking Awesome!!" mood after Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2, specifically Captain Price's EPIC speech at the beginning of the level "Just Like Old Times" in response to LtGen. Shepherd's betrayal.

Though the fic would've ended with... well, I'll let Vice explain it: "So let me get this straight: Teana pulled a knife out of her own f*cking chest, threw it into the bad-guy's neck, and while he's scrambling to stop the blood flow she grabbed his dropped revolver and, even though the gun has huge recoil and she was half-dead, managed to shoot him in the head with enough accuracy that the bullet entered his skull through the exact center of his eye? ...HOLY SH*T".

Spoiler for NanoHalo:

The Nanoha/Halo crossover, the one where Teana joined the UNSC... well, I actually had faith in that one at first. My reasoning was that Teana was sick and tired of feeling left behind (power-wise) and weak in comparison to the rest of Riot Force 6, and when fighting alongside the ODST's she was one of the most powerful and skilled members of the group, and thus no longer felt weak and useless. She would also hope that helping to end a 28-year war would "bring honor to the Lanstar name". I also would've revealed eventually that Al-Hazred was a planet, and had a Forerunner structure built on it... on top of something even older... But now I see that this fic, too, was a bust.

Spoiler for Fate vs. Precia:

A third now-dropped idea was where Precia somehow came back at some point 5-7 months after the Book Of Darkness Incident, causing more trouble for the Nano-gang while looking for "a new, mysterious Lost Logia" that could revive Alicia. Precia had new "allies" in this (the Logia is one of a set; her allies want the others, in exchange for letting her keep the one she needs). At one point in the story, Nanoha takes a bad hit from one of the "allies" (his name here is "(REDACTED)", cause I never thought of a name) and plummets to the ground unconscious. She survives. However, Fate A) doesn't know that Nanoha survives, and B) thinks that Precia fired the shot that hit her. The result:

Spoiler for Berserk Fate:

Precia had seen the light fade from Fate's eyes. She'd sensed as Fate's mind became clouded and consumed by sorrow... which then transformed into the most powerful, blinding anger she'd ever felt. She'd seen as Fate's face twisted into a look of such all-encompasing rage that Precia had "almost" felt a slight twinge of nervousness and... fear?

Less than 30 seconds after that, Precia had felt as her strongest shield began to fracture and give way to the incessantly-pressing blade of golden energy, the yellow and violet light reflecting off Fate's dead-eyed, fangs-bared, fury-stricken face. She'd felt as the blade broke though, and then had felt the screaming pain across her midsection. She'd felt as her own blood began to flow freely from the large gash now across her stomach.

Precia had watched as Fate spun and the massive blade came around again. She had moved her head back as quickly as she could to avoid, but had still felt the slashing pain as the sword sliced across her face. She'd seen the blade come around yet again, and felt as it nearly hacked all the way through her leg. She'd watched as Fate brought her sword to swing down from overhead. Precia had felt herself pushed downward, and with her last several seconds of consciousness looked up as the sword struck (REDACTED)'s arm, slicing it clean off; she'd felt his blood spatter down on her, and seen the detached limb plummet to the ground below, before she lost consciousness.

Now, as Precia lay in a bed in her "allies" base's medical bay, she looked in the ceiling-mounted mirror; looked at the large, fresh scar that ran clear across her torso. Looked at the accompanying scar the marred her right cheek and part of her nose. Looked at where her leg had been put back together. And as she looked, she thought of her once-obedient little doll, the clone of her Alicia, and how she had changed when she'd thought that the white-clad girl had been killed by her. The former puppet had turned against her former master. The tool had struck at its wielder. Precia's mind focused on the one unescapable, undeniable fact:

Fate had tried to kill her.
And were it not for (REDACTED)'s intereference, she would've succeeded.

What would Precia's thought processes have led to after making this revelation? ...Alas, it is too late now.

Spoiler for Nanoha's New Technique:

ANOTHER idea was but a single scene, which I didn't even think of what it would be part of. Another Precia-comes-back fic, again set not too long after the Book-Of-Darkness Incident. At this point of the timeline, Fate had never actually told Nanoha about all the abuse Precia put her through. But then... Nanoha found out. It resulted in this:

Spoiler for G-Gundam Shout-Out:

NANOHA: "You... monster... Your own flesh-and-blood... YOU!! You made her suffer! You're the reason she always seems so sad, why I always see such pain in her eyes! You... you hurt my Fate-chan!!"
(Precia notices the LARGE amount of magical energy gathering around/in Nanoha and looks slightly nervous)
NANOHA: "This is... unforgivable... Raising Heart!"
RH: "Let's get her, My Master!" (starts to glow with magical energy)
NANOHA: "This staff of mine... glows with an awesome power! It's burning gem calls out for me to defeat you!"
RH: "Set Up: Buster Blade" (Nanoha holds RH high, and the Device transforms into a Bardiche-Zanbar-like golden-hilted blade of pink-and-white magical energy)
NANOHA: "Now... take this! Our love... her sorrow... and all of my anger!! SHINING... BUSTER... SWORD!!!"

I have no idea how I could've made this work, but it just seemed too damn awesome not to make. A shame... And I wanted to make Chrono have a shoutout to Master Asia, too...

Lastly, though this isn't a fic idea, I wanted to explain my personal view on ki/chakra and magic, and their relation to each other.

Spoiler for Relation of Ki and Magic:

In my fic 'verses, there are two types of "combat energy", internal and external. Internal is, of course, ki (you could also call it qi, chi, or chakra, depending on choice), drawn from the body's own energy stores and converted into combat-useful forcer
External energy, meanwhile, is Magic. Magic is ever-present in the universe as an ambient force that exists everywhere. A mage gathers this energy and uses it. It must first be channeled through the user's body (a Linker Core allows & assists in this channeling) before then being used in a combat-usable state.
Magic & Ki/Chakra are somewhat opposed; while a person can technically use both at once (say, using ki to fly, cling to walls, or stand on water, while casting magic with their hands or a device), combining the two is extremely difficult, and a large concentration of untamed/un-harnessed ki inside a person's body makes it difficult to channel any significant amount of magic. In my Teana fics, Teana has a LARGE amount of natural ki that she was never taught how to use, thus allowing it to form a constant unfocused presence in her body, disrupting her ability to use any appreciable amount of magic without causing herself severe strain, and utterly incapable of reaching the levels of magic that Nanoha, Fate, & Hayate can. Proper training on how to access her ki/chakra would, in addition to rapidly establishing her as a powerful ki-user, also allow her to more easily channel/use large amounts of magical energy.

I have to agree with 0Z7UP; Teana seems a little too OOC. But it's a start.

Now the Precia and Fate fic; THAT looks promising and it would be great if you could give us more shorts/snippets or anything that is from the fic so we can see more of your characters in action and not as "ideas". I'm really interested to see where that story goes.

SIDE NOTE: I am STILL a HUGE fan of G-Gundam...but I never bought the anime series, only the manga... >.>

[DKN117]

Originally Posted by Alavon

I'm glad you calmed down.



I have to agree with 0Z7UP; Teana seems a little too OOC. But it's a start.

Now the Precia and Fate fic; THAT looks promising and it would be great if you could give us more shorts/snippets or anything that is from the fic so we can see more of your characters in action and not as "ideas". I'm really interested to see where that story goes.

SIDE NOTE: I am STILL a HUGE fan of G-Gundam...but I never bought the anime series, only the manga... >.>

Due to fear of being ridiculed / picked apart, I never developed any of the ideas beyond what was posted above, and have no idea where to start. Those were just single scenes with no real background plot, because I never bothered to MAKE a background plot after my... previous experiences in this forum have left me convinced that my story-writing skills are abysmal beyond the capability of being saved.

[OZ7UP]

Originally Posted by DKN117

Due to fear of being ridiculed / picked apart, I never developed any of the ideas beyond what was posted above, and have no idea where to start.

Don't be afraid. Being picked apart is a good thing; regardless of how you see the situation, people want to see you become a good writer, so just post whatever story that you have. If they keep pointing out mistakes, so what? Just take note of whatever they've said, use that, and make your story better. Satashi has said that he/she has constantly rewritten some of his/her stories to make them better.

Those were just single scenes with no real background plot, because I never bothered to MAKE a background plot after my... previous experiences in this forum have left me convinved that my story-writing skills are abysmal beyond the capability of being saved.

Heh, I don't think I'm that good at writing stories, but hey, I've finally found a plot that I can work on, and I'm working on it slowly. Write something, and PM me.

* looks back at all related posts *

Personally, I think you've got a bit of a self-esteem problem. If you want to avoid all further problems, just be confident, post something, and use the feedback to improve yourself. If you want to degrade yourself, just do so in an amusing manner to show that you've acknowledged your faults, and that you're willing to do something about them.

To everyone else: Guys, whatever problems that you might still hold against DKN117, just drop them, and try to be supportive.

[Alavon]

Originally Posted by DKN117

Due to fear of being ridiculed / picked apart, I never developed any of the ideas beyond what was posted above, and have no idea where to start. Those were just single scenes with no real background plot, because I never bothered to MAKE a background plot after my... previous experiences in this forum have left me convinced that my story-writing skills are abysmal beyond the capability of being saved.

You could start now and write because you want to. Hearing people reply to your ideas is great but in the end, it's your decision; either you write or you don't.
Try and post a fic, a chapter or something; write it as a draft so that later, you have at least a solid foundation to which you can build your final story. I know the fear; Hell! I even stopped posting Animal Instincts here because of my fear.

Many and I mean MANY of my stories have been ignored but like Satashi has said before, you can't force people to read your fics or comment them; it's a huge downer. Animal Instincts, my longest and most popular story I've written so far, has only gotten 26 reviews in f.f.net but as of 11/25/09, I've gotten 1,802 Hits and that is the most out of all my stories I've written in just two months of its release. Now, many of my reviewers are different people along with old ones which to me is a huge accomplishment! XD

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is this: Write, write and write some more. It's hard but write anyway.

And that Precia fic looks promising; it would be great if you can write more. If you have problems coming up with a plot, then do what you did before; write snippets so that you can get more ideas for later.

And when people give you advice on your story, listen; you'll be surprise what they can do to help you (a scene in Animal Instincts did not make sense whatsoever and I was very glad when a few people pointed it out to me and thus, I was able to fix it).

But if you need any help, PM me; I'll listen.

[DKN117]

So... I seem to be getting the best reactions with the Fate vs. Precia plot-bunny. The problem is... I simply don't have any other ideas. I'm ESPECIALLY stumped on where Precia's thoughts would go regarding the revelation that Fate was actually trying to kill her and came within centimeters/seconds of succeeding in this. I also can't think of any other meat for that particular story-skeleton; nature of the Lost Logia in question, the others' reactions to the whole thing, whether or not to put the above-shown G-Gundam reference scene in this fic or have it separate; what kind of people Precia's "allies" would be and what they'd be capable of; and whether or not to have Precia succeed in reviving Alicia (it would of course become an AU fic if this happened), and how Alicia would react to what her mother has become and what she'd done to Alicia's "sister".

...Ideas?

[OZ7UP]

Originally Posted by DKN117

So... I seem to be getting the best reactions with the Fate vs. Precia plot-bunny. The problem is... I simply don't have any other ideas. I'm ESPECIALLY stumped on where Precia's thoughts would go regarding the revelation that Fate was actually trying to kill her and came within centimeters/seconds of succeeding in this. I also can't think of any other meat for that particular story-skeleton; nature of the Lost Logia in question, the others' reactions to the whole thing, whether or not to put the above-shown G-Gundam reference scene in this fic or have it separate; what kind of people Precia's "allies" would be and what they'd be capable of; and whether or not to have Precia succeed in reviving Alicia (it would of course become an AU fic if this happened), and how Alicia would react to what her mother has become and what she'd done to Alicia's "sister".

...Ideas?

Try going along the lines of how Precia realised that Fate spared her despite having every right to do so, and go for a partial heel/face turn.

If you're having problems, just leave the story aside first and work on something else. When you have the time, just keep adding on to the basic skeletal frame that you have. As for the "something else", just write anything. Remember what I said: "Crazy works". Don't just focus on action - a good writer should be able to write other things as well. Besides, the more you write other things, the better idea you'll have on how to write the Precia/Fate story that's currently in your head.

We really could use more crack around here...

Edit: Page claim for "Crazy Works!".