I did! And I must say, I really enjoyed this reworked chapter because it did a good job of adding details that weren't as fleshed out the first time around. As you might recall, I managed to completely miss the fact that Syn was a virgin, largely getting snowed by her touchy-feely, sexually-aggressive, always-trying-to-get-Vivio's-clothes-off-behavior during the "dating" arc. This version did a much better job of getting across Syn's issues, her eagerness and frustration but mixing in some hesitation as well. And, of course, by making Syn's status more evident, it's easier to enjoy the gag of the virgin desperately trying (and failing!) to get the porn star in the sack...
While I'm not sure if you actually
changed anything--maybe it's just that reading the story in this fashion does a better job of putting it into my head?--I'm also better appreciating the odd balance in Vivio's personality, where she really is more comfortable than Syn with nudity and exposing her body, but hesitant as soon as an emotional context is placed around the situation.
Not everything is perfect, of course. Probably because this chapter was made by smoothing together several separate and much shorter chapters, things are a bit choppy; I can't really explain it too well in words, but the "flow" of events is kind of herky-jerky now and again. One mistake that's caught my attention here and in several of your fics is the use of "blond," the masculine spelling, for a female. Yuuno is blond, but Fate, Vivio, and Arisa are blonde.
There's one sentence that even I, who am probably too fond of the passive voice for my own good, think is a bit of a train wreck: "The water was turned on and the soap was found." (when Syn's washing dishes). Especially since it's part of a paragraph where Syn is the subject, it would have read much better as, for example: "She found the soap, then turned on the water."
It also strikes me as amazing that you managed to write an entire novella about Vivio's career as a porn star without making at least one gag about how she has the largest bosom of the entire StrikerS cast.
On the other hand, I didn't make that connection, either, until checking out the album in Keroko's profile...I was way too busy looking at other things during all the scenes where the Sankt Kaiser was on stage while watching the series, and...come to think of it, you never finished StrikerS, did you?
Anyway, I have to say that I quite enjoyed the first three chapters of the revised and collected PornStar!Vivio, and am looking forward to the remainder of the story!